1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,800 # Is it so? 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,480 # Don't want to let you go 3 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:09,760 # No, we never can say goodbye, boy 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,080 # Oooh! No! No! 5 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:16,120 # We never can say goodbye 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,160 # No, no, no; no, no, no! # 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,440 Oh, mother. I really don't want to meet your friend's daughter. 8 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,280 No, it's not because she's fat. 9 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,160 Though that's not a selling point. 10 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,480 No, I'm not all alone. I live with Freddie. 11 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,240 Yes, he still lives here. 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,040 No, he doesn't want to meet her either. 13 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:52,760 I realise you've been waiting a very long time for grandchildren, dear. 14 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,800 Keep hanging in there. 15 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,240 I'll call you later. 16 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,720 Grandchildren? How much longer does she expect to be alive? 17 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,560 She's practically a medical experiment already. 18 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,000 Scientists should be taking her apart and studying her. 19 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,680 Beginning with the head. 20 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,640 You can hear me talking from way upstairs 21 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,840 but not when we are in the same room. 22 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,960 I can hear I just hate the sound of your voice. 23 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,040 It's unpleasant to the ear. 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000 Although still preferable to your face! 25 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,040 Well, I'm her only son. 26 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,360 It's understandable that she'd want a grandchild. 27 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,280 What does she want to do with one? 28 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,200 Eat it? 29 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:43,480 Well, I would have hoped she'd have figured out our situation by now. 30 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,520 I have been dropping little clues. 31 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,080 Yes, like living with a man for 48 years. 32 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,960 She doesn't seem to be picking up on that one. 33 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,080 My agent hasn't called this morning, has he? 34 00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:01,960 No. He also hasn't called the 200 mornings before this. 35 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,640 I don't know why I haven't heard from him lately. 36 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,320 Four older actors died last month. 37 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,680 The phone should be ringing off the hook. 38 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,280 Are you all right? 39 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,640 It's just that I haven't worked for a while 40 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,560 and I'm a bit scared that perhaps I'm... 41 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,880 If you need to talk about it - Of course I don't need to! 42 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,920 So you can stop nagging me. 43 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,440 And don't you dare mention it with your bizarrely tiny mouth either. 44 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,280 (DOORBELL TINKLES) I'm sure things will pick up. 45 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,000 Yes. Hopefully more actors will die soon. 46 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,600 Specifically you. 47 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,080 Aaah! Hi. Is this a bad time? 48 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,280 Oh, of course not. Come in, Ash. 49 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,200 Can I get you a cup of tea? That'd be great. Thanks. 50 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,560 Please sit. What can we do for you, Ash? 51 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,600 You know how important you've both been to me these last few months. 52 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,920 I don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't met you when I moved to London. 53 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,320 Mostly me, though, right? 54 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,440 What's his face here is fairly useless. 55 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,720 That's the one thing he can do. 56 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,920 Pour tea. Oops. 57 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,840 Spilt a bit. 58 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,880 No, not even that. 59 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,280 Well, we are very fond of you too, Ash. 60 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,360 So I wanted you to be the first ones that I told. 61 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,880 I think I might be... I knew it! 62 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,480 ..in love with my girlfriend. Oooh! 63 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,120 We're very happy for you 64 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,040 but we haven't heard you mention a new girlfriend. 65 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,720 Yeah, I know but she's really special and I wanted to be sure. 66 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,880 Are you certain? Everything you're telling us about her 67 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,040 is raising all sorts of red flags. 68 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,800 But I haven't told you anything about her. 69 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,840 Exactly. 70 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:59,440 Well, she's smart and pretty and funny. 71 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:03,480 And she doesn't mind I wake up in the middle of the night screaming. 72 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,520 Well... 73 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:12,160 ..it's lovely that she doesn't mind that disturbing thing you do. 74 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:16,840 That you should probably be in therapy for. 75 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,040 I know, right. Well, I really want you both to meet her. 76 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,080 Why not bring her to dinner? 77 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,000 Tonight. Yeah? 78 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:28,400 (PHONE RINGS) That'll be great. She's a vegan, though. 79 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,560 That's all right. We'll have chicken. 80 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,800 Hello. Oh, hello, Violet. 81 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,000 How's Argentina? 82 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,400 Hello, darling. Do you miss me? 83 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,800 Yes, of course we miss you. 84 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:45,400 It's Violet calling. You remember our friend Violet? 85 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:50,920 Hi. Well, how are things in Buenos Aires with the new boyfriend? 86 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,640 Well, there have been a few hiccups. 87 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,680 Ignasio's wife has been terribly unreasonable. 88 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,200 Did I mention I've discovered he has a wife? 89 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,480 No, you did not mention that. 90 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,120 Don't worry. I'm not letting him take advantage of me, though. 91 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,000 As soon as he learns more English, 92 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,880 I'm going to ask when he plans on leaving her. 93 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,760 Hang up. It's long distance. 94 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,560 She called us. Hang up anyway. 95 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,160 Well, listen, Violet. I have to go. 96 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,320 Yes, so do I, darling. Ignasio's planned a very romantic evening. 97 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,880 Just as soon as he's finished celebrating his wife's birthday. 98 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,760 It sounds heaven. Talk soon. 99 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,880 You're lucky you're straight, Ash. 100 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,800 Otherwise, you'll get one of these women 101 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,760 who'll latch on to you for decades and never let go. 102 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,720 But you love her. 103 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,560 Yes. We like her. 104 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,840 Almost finished. 105 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,880 There. (TABLE LANDS WITH A THWACK) 106 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,200 Bollocks. That was a bitch. 107 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,440 I just put it down on my foot. 108 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,480 Help me get it off. 109 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,720 It's too heavy. 110 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,680 But you could manage it before. Yes and I've had two mini strokes since. 111 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,440 Oh. It won't budge. It's really jammed into something. 112 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,480 Yeah. My foot. 113 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,440 (DOORBELL TINKLES) Damn it! There's Ash and his girlfriend. 114 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,800 Well, he'll be able to help with the table. 115 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,840 Please don't say anything. 116 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,880 It's too embarrassing. 117 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,280 I don't want him to think I can't move a table. 118 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:37,400 Hello, Ash. It's Ash. Come and say hello. 119 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,800 I can see him from here, you idiot. 120 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,560 And you are? This is my girlfriend, Chloe. 121 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,120 Girlfriend. I just love the sound of that word. 122 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:53,280 I find boyfriend has more of a ring to it. 123 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,960 You must be Freddie. I'm so excited to meet you. 124 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,120 Can I have a hug? I'd prefer not if that's an option. 125 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,200 You were right, Ash. He's so dashing. 126 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,720 Well, maybe a very little one. 127 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,760 No, I meant with Ash. 128 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,360 Yoo-hoo! Hello. Over here. 129 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,480 Hello, dear. I'm Stuart. 130 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,640 Hi. 131 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,000 I'm having such a super fun time already. 132 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,240 Well, I'm glad that you've set a very low bar for the evening. 133 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,400 We've brought you a candle. I made it myself. 134 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,120 I make candles. And soap. 135 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,920 Not only is she beautiful, she's talented. 136 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,600 Ash, stop it. I am very creative, though. 137 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,200 (Ooh, God.) 138 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:45,640 And I hear you're an actor so I guess we've got a lot in common. 139 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,360 Well, if the criterion you're going by is we both use soap, 140 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,800 I suppose the answer is still no. 141 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,360 How's it going down there, Stuart? 142 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,240 Not as well as I had hoped. 143 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,960 Please sit. Can I get either of you a drink? 144 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000 I'd love some sparkling water. 145 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,120 Just a beer for me, thanks. I'll get it. 146 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,280 I'm all right. What the hell is wrong with you? 147 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,160 Well, I'm so conditioned to being a good host 148 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,200 I forgot I was stuck. 149 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:20,400 Oh, but it worked. I'm free. And my toe nail was black already so... 150 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,000 Are you all right, Stuart? Everything is tickety-boo, thanks. 151 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,040 He was just stuck under the table and couldn't lift it off. 152 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:31,240 Poor little thing. Now why would you say that? 153 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,000 I specifically asked you not to. 154 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,600 Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry. I won't mention it again. 155 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,200 He put the table right down on his toe. 156 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,560 And then wouldn't let me tell you. 157 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,600 What a moron, right? 158 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,040 Ouch. That must have hurt. No, not really. It was on his dead toe. 159 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,880 His body is slowly shutting down. 160 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,480 Gosh. That's so sad. 161 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:05,400 No, he's just joking, dear. He's going to die first. 162 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,400 Possibly tonight. 163 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,160 Well, it does seem to be the only way out of this relationship! 164 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,960 What an awful thing to say. 165 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,600 Oh, they're just teasing, Chloe. 166 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,120 Oh, I get it. 167 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:25,120 I love how you both still have a sense of humour. 168 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,680 What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean? 169 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,600 Still?! 170 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,200 It means you look like a rotting corpse. 171 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,800 No. No. No. That's not what I meant at all. 172 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,360 Perhaps you could carve it into a bar of soap. 173 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,480 To help us better understand. 174 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,960 I'm very sorry if I've offended - They're just playing with you. 175 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,560 Oh. Yes, we're just playing. 176 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,480 Remember you're having a 'super fun' time. 177 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,760 Oh. Sparkling water. How dreary. 178 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,320 It's very scrummy if you add lemon. 179 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,040 You just looked so adorable when you said that. 180 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,080 Oh, I love you so much. 181 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,400 I love you so much more. 182 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,400 Jesus Christ! 183 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000 It's like a car crash. 184 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,560 You can't take your eyes off it. 185 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,200 It's so inspiring you've both been together so long. 186 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,720 How do you do it? 187 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,080 Well, I mostly attribute it to the fact that he won't leave. 188 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:38,400 When the time comes, I'm going to so enjoy unplugging you. 189 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,280 You're joking again. Yes. Ha-ha. 190 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,440 (SHRIEKS WITH LAUGHTER) 191 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,920 What a delightful laugh you have there. 192 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,760 It isn't irritating at all. 193 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,680 Are you sure we can't get you a proper drink? 194 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,840 Oh, no. She never drinks. Isn't that right, Chloe? 195 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:11,520 It's true. And nothing could give me more of a high than being with Ash. 196 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,560 Have you tried cocaine? 197 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,320 You seem so devoted to each other. Do you never argue? 198 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,400 Never. I just don't see how two people in love 199 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,320 can ever say cruel things to each other. 200 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,520 I was saying the same thing the other day to that piece of shit down there. 201 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,480 Well, I must go and check on dinner. 202 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,200 And feed the dog. Oh, you have a dog! I love dogs. 203 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,200 Can I see him? Yes, of course. 204 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,960 He doesn't move much because he's so old. 205 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,840 But you can help me scrape the crust out of his ears. 206 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,240 Well, what do you think? 207 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,800 She's a dream. 208 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,880 I'm so glad. It's really important to me that you like her. 209 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,360 Well, I do. I especially like the way her constant enthusiasm 210 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,600 doesn't get on my nerves. 211 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,640 (HEAVES) 212 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,600 Oh, did Balthazar yawn on you, dear? 213 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,160 It's OK. I'm fine. Just a little nauseated. 214 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,080 Ooh, but he's adorable. 215 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:21,520 You should have seen him when he had fur on both eyes. 216 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,560 Did you miss me? 217 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,760 I missed you tons. Well, that's it, then. 218 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,400 I'm never leaving you alone again. 219 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,040 No running!! 220 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:36,280 Well, dinner's almost ready. Can I top up anybody's drink? 221 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,320 Yes, please. 222 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:42,640 Tell us, what crime against nature will you be serving this evening. 223 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,720 Well, that depends. Will you be eating with or without your teeth? 224 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,040 I liked you better when you were trapped under the table leg. 225 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,000 Will you stop bringing that up? It was humiliating enough. 226 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,360 Not as humiliating as your swan dive on to the floor. 227 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,560 It was like Tom Daley had suddenly aged 100 years. 228 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:15,440 How would you like it if I said something that would upset you? 229 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,440 What on earth are you babbling about? 230 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,960 Something that I wasn't supposed to mention 231 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,080 with my bizarrely tiny mouth. 232 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,240 You wouldn't dare. 233 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,120 Freddie's scared he's never going to work again. 234 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,960 How does that feel? 235 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,160 I never said such a thing and you swore you wouldn't mention it. 236 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,720 He only earned £300 last month. 237 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:40,000 That was a cheque for a cigarette commercial he did 47 years ago. 238 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:44,320 I'm proud of that commercial. I got a lot of people to start smoking. 239 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,640 I'm getting really uncomfortable, Ash. 240 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:50,480 It's OK. They're always like this. Well, it makes me uncomfortable. 241 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,120 It shouldn't. 242 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,400 Are you telling me how I should feel? 243 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,880 No. 244 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,720 And I kind of wish you wouldn't put words in my mouth. 245 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,240 Everything all right? 246 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,800 Yes, fine. 247 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,800 Do you know what? I think I will have that drink. 248 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:15,440 Ah. Now the evening's picking up. 249 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,200 And thank you again for the homemade candle, dear. 250 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,720 We so prefer it to the traditional gift of a bottle of wine. 251 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,120 Why haven't you eaten anything, dear? 252 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,400 I'm a vegan. Yes. That's why I made chicken. 253 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,800 She doesn't eat any meat. 254 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:45,800 Or dairy. 255 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,440 It's really getting to be quite a... Quite what? 256 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,040 Quite... 257 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,600 ..adorable. 258 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,840 Oh, because it sounded as if you were about to say annoying. 259 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,120 Can I have another drink? 260 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,960 Why don't you just keep it by you, dear? 261 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,200 Would you like any pills to go with that? 262 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,480 Maybe you've had enough to drink. 263 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,600 I'm just trying to have a good time. 264 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,960 Why don't you have some of the salad, dear? 265 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,200 It only has a little bacon in it. 266 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,920 (PHONE RINGS) I can't eat bacon. 267 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,280 Not even the edges? 268 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,360 Oh, just eat it, for Christ's sake. 269 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,080 Hello. Freddie, is that you? 270 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,760 Oh, hello, Vi... It's Violet. Oh, you remember our friend, Violet? Hi. 271 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,320 Everything all right over there? Not terrific, to be honest. 272 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,160 I'm afraid I'm in a bit of a pickle. 273 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,760 I only wish this were a better time to talk. 274 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,560 I'll make it quick then. Ignasio was being a little...erm... 275 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,120 ..romantic earlier... 276 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,720 ..and handcuffed me to the bed post. 277 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,760 But now he seems to have stepped out for a while. 278 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:09,760 I think he might have accidentally taken my wallet and passport. 279 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,360 And...erm...also the key to the handcuffs. 280 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,440 And I'm not sure if he's coming back. 281 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,880 That wasn't quick. 282 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,440 I think I'm going to need you to contact the Embassy, Freddie. 283 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,680 Yes, of course. Just as soon as we've finished dinner. 284 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,960 Everything all right. Yes, fine. 285 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,320 It's empty. 286 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,840 Too bad you can't drink a candle. 287 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,400 Perhaps that's why guests usually bring wine. 288 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,800 I'm really enjoying the salad, Stuart. 289 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,200 Everything's great, isn't it, Chloe? 290 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,520 I wouldn't know because I can't eat anything. 291 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,800 Here. It's bread. 292 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,920 Erm...actually, that's sausage bread, dear. 293 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,960 I'd like to go, Ash. We can't go. It would be rude. 294 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,760 I don't think it's possible to be rude here. 295 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,040 My glass is empty, Stuart. Why is that? 296 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,680 I don't know. I'm not a waiter. 297 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,920 You're not? 298 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,600 Because you were one when I met you. 299 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,800 Watch it, Freddie! 300 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:32,400 I'm warning you. You shouldn't be drinking. I like it. 301 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,840 It's the only thing that makes your voice less grating. 302 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,480 Oh, I hate Stuart's voice too. 303 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,520 Your candle smells like shit. 304 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,200 Actually, I think that's Balthazar. 305 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,760 I only make those stupid candles to get away from you. 306 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,080 You're a needy, suffocating, little man-boy. 307 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,240 And you're drunk. 308 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,880 Oh, now she's interesting. 309 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,960 I don't like the way you are when you drink. 310 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:11,600 It's ugly. You remind me of my mother before she went to prison. 311 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,280 Didn't you also tell us that your father was in prison? 312 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,720 This might be why you're waking up screaming every night. 313 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:25,080 I'm sick of behaving how you want me to behave, you pathetic twat. 314 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:28,120 I only want you to behave like a human being. 315 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,160 Not a drunken slag! 316 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,920 Do you hear how they talk to each other? 317 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,480 Kill me if that's ever us. 318 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,760 Why are you hanging out with these men? 319 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,200 They're awful. It's a house of horrors. 320 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,240 What men? 321 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,400 Could she be talking about us? 322 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,760 Don't say that about my friends. 323 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,320 Your friends? You're 22. 324 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,920 So what? I thought he was 35. 325 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,360 They've been horrible all night. Why do you even spend time with them? 326 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,840 Because I enjoy their company unlike yours. 327 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,000 You prefer their company to mine. 328 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,160 These two. The two of them. 329 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,480 Yes, she's definitely talking about us. 330 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,920 I'm going to be somebody, Ash. 331 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,840 I'm gonna make soap and candles and cupcakes and handbags 332 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,080 and open a shop one day and sell them all. 333 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,440 It sounds like it's going to be a very confusing shop. 334 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,560 You just want me to support you but you don't support me. 335 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,360 You don't even know what it is you want to do! 336 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,160 That's because I haven't figured it out yet!! 337 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:47,240 I can be anything I want. Right, Freddie? Of course you can. 338 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,440 Are you serious? You're really gonna listen to this washed-up actor 339 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,400 that no-one's ever even heard of? 340 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,120 All right. That is quite enough. 341 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,680 I'll have you know that Freddie Thornhill has worked 342 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,560 on the stage, screen and television for over 50 years. 343 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,680 He has had an extraordinary career. 344 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,880 So what if he has hit a bit of a dry spell? 345 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,440 He is by no means washed up and never will be. 346 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,400 So do not presume to tell us anything about our lives, young lady. 347 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,480 We will not be talked down to in our own home. 348 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:27,400 We are accomplished men. Quite capable of anything. 349 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,200 Should I show them out? Please. 350 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,920 I think I'm stuck again. 351 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,080 Not one of our better dinner parties, I'm afraid. 352 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,360 Poor Ash. Well, he wanted to be straight. 353 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,120 That's what he gets. 354 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,360 (PHONE RINGS) 355 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,560 Hello. Hello, Violet. 356 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,600 Oh, bugger! 357 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,400 Oh, Stuart darling. Thank God. 358 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,800 The police finally came and freed me from the handcuffs. 359 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,440 What are you talking about? 360 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:04,360 Didn't Freddie tell you? Didn't Freddie tell me? Oh, yes. 361 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,720 Yes. Yes. Of course. Yes, I forgot. 362 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,880 They found my passport but in order to get it back, 363 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,920 I'm going to have to pay a bribe. 364 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,760 So I need you to transfer... Hold on, dear. We have another call. 365 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,680 Hello? Yes, he's right here. 366 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,400 It's your agent. 367 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,320 Jeremy, it's rather late to be calling. 368 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,680 A job. Yes, I think I'm available. 369 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:44,920 Oh, they say my Downton Abbey where I dropped the potatoes, did they? 370 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,760 All right. Thank you. 371 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,360 Well? 372 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,600 I've been offered a part on Call The Midwife. 373 00:21:55,080 --> 00:22:00,160 I'm going to be playing a man who delivers his granddaughter's Siamese twins. 374 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,200 Oh, wonderful! 375 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,240 (PHONE RINGS) 376 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,280 No, don't answer that. 377 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,360 subtitles by Deluxe 378 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,720 # Don't wanna let you go, go 379 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,920 # Don't wanna let you go 380 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,960 # No, no, no; no, no no 381 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,000 # I never can say goodbye, boy 382 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:32,160 # Ooh, baby! 383 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,200 # I never can say goodbye #