1 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:09,280 ♪ You better toss a coin 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,959 ♪ into the old wishing well. 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,600 ♪ You'd better roll the dice 4 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,639 ♪ cos after all, you can never tell. 5 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,959 ♪ This could be your lucky day 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:25,320 ♪ but if you don't play the game you'll never know. 7 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,920 ♪ You'll never know. 8 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,399 Rory, would you come on! 9 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,399 Ma, I have it here for you. 10 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,679 Thanks Ciara. 11 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,999 Rory, hurry up! > Are yous waiting? 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,520 Yes! I have something for you. 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,320 There we go. 14 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,080 It's perfect. 15 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,439 Now this means you're the king of the dinner. 16 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,119 It's a family tradition. Different one of us every time. 17 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,319 This time it's you. Oh, right. 18 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,079 Jaysus sake. Rory! > I'm coming! 19 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,239 Useless, would you get in the kitchen. 20 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,759 Lovely Graham. Did you bring a hat for all of us? 21 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,720 What? No. 22 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,279 Well as long as you brought one for yourself. 23 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,079 > Where are yis off to Carmel? 24 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,200 The Thai Bride, Martin. > Oh lovely. 25 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,799 Where's Martin? 26 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,279 He's in the wall there, looking for the source of that smell. 27 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,080 Are you in the hall wall? > I think so! 28 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,079 That smell is driving me mad. 29 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,679 I'm used to it. I like it. 30 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,759 Are you off your rocker? What? 31 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,959 You're not going to make a show of us in that get up. 32 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:46,039 You look like you're going to steal a horse and swap it for heroin. 33 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,840 Get back up those stairs, put something decent on. 34 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:55,359 It's like this every time we go out. What's the occasion? 35 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,320 Why are we going out for dinner? 36 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,879 I can't tell you. It's actually too stupid. 37 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,399 Any luck yet Martin? 38 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:09,879 > The only thing I can say for sure is that it's not not coming from inside the walls. 39 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,760 Okay, well that's something I suppose. 40 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,079 I'm surprised anyone can fit in one of those walls. 41 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:24,080 It' a bit tight and you know me. I have terrible claustrophobia. 42 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:33,799 It's not as bad as it could be because there's no insulation. 43 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,319 Don't believe in insulation Martin. It's a scam. 44 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,959 Made up by the government to steal money off the working man. 45 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,199 Just like VAT and stamps. 46 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:46,719 You're going to love this place Graham. You know that country, Thailand. 47 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,160 Yeah. The food's from there. 48 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,799 Right. And is it really called The Thai Bride? 49 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:57,520 It's the most authentic Thai food I think I've ever had. 50 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,639 But they'll do you a burger if you want one. 51 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:03,159 What's the occasion? Did Ciara not tell you? No. 52 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:07,399 15 years ago myself and Carmel were just walking past The Thai Bride. 53 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,519 Just walking past. 54 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,119 We thought let's just go in and have dinner. Just like that. 55 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,199 Just like that. We didn't even plan it. We just did it. 56 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,639 Totally spontaneous. 57 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:20,839 So now ever year we go back on the same day to The Thai Bride and have dinner. 58 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,439 It's a sort of a celebration of spontaneity. 59 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:29,519 It's like a celebration of that mad spirit that us Walshes have. 60 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,199 And do yis ever go anywhere else? 61 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,159 God no. 62 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,079 Has to be The Thai Bride. 63 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,160 Graham, wait till you meet Lee. He's our waiter. 64 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,879 He is such fun. He is such jizzy craic. 65 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:46,599 He is just jizz personified. And his name isn't even Lee. 66 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,919 God no. You'd be all day trying to say his real name. 67 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,959 Graham, wait till you meet him. He'll have you in stitches. 68 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,159 He does an impersonation of the chef. MAM! 69 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,839 I swear to God. Do not finish that impression. 70 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,839 You're right. I wouldn't do it justice. You'll have to see for yourself. 71 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,959 What is the hat for? 72 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,959 I'm king of the dinner. You're what? 73 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,079 Now remember, this meal is on me. 74 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,199 BOTH: Your money's no good tonight. 75 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,359 That's 8 times. He did 2 when you were upstairs. 76 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,639 No, no. Don't mind. It's my treat. 77 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,519 This is for your benefit. 78 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,799 It's very kind of you Mr. Walsh. Thank you very much. 79 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,839 Have a good long look at that menu and decide what you want before we get there. 80 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:33,679 I know exactly what I'm getting. Carmel fried rice, Lee calls it. 81 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,079 He says.. Ma! 82 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,399 She's right. I wouldn't do it any justice. 83 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,879 Choose whatever you like. 84 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,319 Although I will say the early bird half price special is mwuah. 85 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,639 Here we go. No, no. They save all the best stuff for the early bird. 86 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,679 But order whatever you want. It's on me. 87 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,600 Your money's no good tonight. > 11! 88 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,999 We want to get a wriggle on if we want to make the early bird everyone's so keen on. 89 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,920 Rory, hurry up! Ah for Jaysus sake. 90 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,759 What in God's name is that? What? 91 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,639 What are you wearing? Is it no good? 92 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,959 No. It's no good. Where did you get it? 93 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,039 I found it. 94 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,360 You found it? You found a suit? 95 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,279 Ah Rory, don't be wearing suits you found. 96 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,680 Back upstairs Boardwalk Empire. Get it off you. 97 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,159 Tony. 98 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,039 Don't be at it. I'm not at it. 99 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,919 Anything in the post this morning or...? 100 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,920 Nothing yet, no. 101 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,039 No news is good news. 102 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,840 Tony had a biopsy done on his.. You know. 103 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,639 The little fella that took up residence around the Rose of Tralee. 104 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,600 His anal companion, shall we say. 105 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,959 I got a bit worried there when it changed colour. 106 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,079 What colour was it when you saw it Graham? 107 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,040 I don't know. 108 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,679 Grey-ish I suppose. Grey! It wasn't grey. 109 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,519 No, no. It was red. 110 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,359 In fact I found the exact shade of red that it actually was. 111 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,479 I have it here on a Dulux chart. 112 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,440 Can we stop talking about this please? 113 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,480 Carmen Miranda. 114 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,839 But then it went sort of a summer blush. 115 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,800 It wasn't summer blush. 116 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,799 It was African adventure if it was anything. 117 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,039 How do you know? I had a look. 118 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,319 How? 119 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,199 How do you think? With a mirror. 120 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,439 Which mirror? The white one beside the bed. 121 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,519 My mother gave me that mirror. 122 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,759 I like to pretend that she's looking at me through it. 123 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,640 Oh my God! 124 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,399 Oh I'll have to boil it now or something. 125 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,679 Ah you won't. I only used it to look. 126 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,159 Oh my poor mother. 127 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:17,400 Expecting to see me and instead getting an African adventure. 128 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,239 What are you doing? Putting on the telly. 129 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,279 Don't be putting on the telly. Why not? 130 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:23,959 Cos we're going out. 131 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,079 But we're not. We're just sitting here. 132 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,639 That's a staying in thing. You can't be doing a staying in thing when we're going out. 133 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,239 But we're not going out. We are. We just.. 134 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,319 What if one of the neighbours sees us? 135 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,319 They'll think we get dressed up to watch the television. 136 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,399 We'll be the talk of the close. 137 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,479 No. We're not doing anything. We are sitting here and waiting. 138 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:49,160 Until we can go out and enjoy our celebration of spontaneity. 139 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:56,040 Rory, are you nearly ready? Ah Rory! 140 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,079 What? Come on and get dressed. We're waiting for you. 141 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,080 Yeah, okay. 142 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,079 God, my poor mother. 143 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,799 You don't want that as part of your eternal reward, do you! 144 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,720 No. You don't. 145 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,519 What do you think happens to us when we die Graham? 146 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,760 Well actually Mrs. Walsh, I don't think anything happens. 147 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,160 What do you mean? 148 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,920 I think it just stops. It just stops? 149 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,719 Yeah. 150 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,240 What, you die and that's it? 151 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,719 Yeah. 152 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,359 Well that's something to look forward to. I don't think! 153 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,799 Ma thinks when you die that's when it all starts happening. 154 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,759 Don't you Ma. Too right I do. I can't wait to die. 155 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:46,359 Imagine not looking forward to dying. I feel sorry for you. Ma. 156 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,279 You don't agree with him, do you? No, no. I'm with you. 157 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,999 Looking forward to it. 158 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:55,240 Don't go sharing any of your mad opinions with Rory. 159 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,720 Ah. 160 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000 Lovebirds. 161 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,400 A pair of lovely lovebirds. 162 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,560 Checking each other for.. parasites. 163 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,599 That's lovely Mam. Thanks. 164 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,759 It was on David Attenborough. 165 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:48,999 One bird sits there proud as you like, while the other digs at it with its beak. 166 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,280 Removing fleas and microscopic ticks. 167 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:57,999 So very loving but at the same time clever because 168 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,800 you know, that's dinner sorted. 169 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,799 When your father had hair I used to find all sorts of things in there. 170 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,760 I wouldn't eat any of it though. 171 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,120 Grooming. That's what they call it. 172 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:20,920 I was grooming him and now Graham is grooming you. 173 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,599 Is he not down yet? 174 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,359 We might not get our table. 175 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,399 We get the same table every year. Down the back. 176 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,399 Handiest for the toilets. 177 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,199 Look everyone. Look what I found in my suit. 178 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,440 We can look at it at dinner. No Da, look. 179 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,440 What the.. 180 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,519 Who's your friend? I don't know. I found it in my suit. 181 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,839 What do you think it is? 182 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:59,640 It's a cat and a man sitting with a big rabbit. Why though? 183 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,879 Why is there a cat and a man and a big rabbit? 184 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,439 I don't get it. Let me see it again. 185 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:12,120 What's going on? The cat's sitting like he's a person. Why? 186 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,599 I don't get it. 187 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,519 Why don't you phone up your friend and ask him? 188 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,959 I don't know him Ma. 189 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,919 Why do you have a photo of a man you don't know? 190 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,239 I think that's madder than the photo itself. 191 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,200 Graham, you'll know. What does it mean? 192 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,280 Right. 193 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,239 I think this must be the Easter Bunny. 194 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:35,439 Maybe the person who owned your suit before you was American. 195 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:40,080 They might visit the Easter Bunny in America. 196 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,199 Around Easter time. 197 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:47,359 And so, do they tell the bunny what Easter egg they want? 198 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,719 I don't know. 199 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,039 It's a cat though. 200 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,279 Do cats get Easter eggs in America then? I'm not sure. 201 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,159 See, he doesn't have all the answers. 202 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,960 We can figure it out over dinner. Let's go. 203 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,799 Martin! Will you turn the lights off when you're finished? 204 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,760 > Alright Tony! 205 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,720 What Carmel? Just one second. 206 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,679 It's Mrs. Lydon. She's coming out of her house. Let her leave first. 207 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,639 Why? Just ssh! 208 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,519 I told her I'd go to Weightwatcher with her. I don't want to go. 209 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,039 I don't need Weightwatchers. 210 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,999 She's the one who sat on her cat and nearly killed it. 211 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,679 She's coming over here. 212 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,359 Quick, hit the lights. Graham, hit the friggin' lights! 213 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,320 Hide! 214 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,440 For the love of God. Quiet. 215 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,679 KNOCK ON DOOR. 216 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,640 No-one move. 217 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:54,440 I bet you anything we don't get out of here tonight. 218 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,760 Do you realise something? What? 219 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,160 We've never had an argument. 220 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,640 Yeah. I suppose not. 221 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,480 That's cos you're perfect. 222 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:13,440 No I'm not. You are. You're a perfect girl. 223 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,040 There must be one thing wrong with me. 224 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,920 No. Really, there isn't. 225 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,319 Carmel. Hello Carmel. 226 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,320 Carmel, are you in? 227 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,200 Sick of hiding from this woman. 228 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,239 Are you alright? 229 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,959 What? 230 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,920 God Rory. You're white as a sheet. 231 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:49,039 Go on. What's the one thing you'd say if you had to say something 232 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,320 that was wrong with me? 233 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,360 I wouldn't say anything. 234 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,120 Okay. 235 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:07,399 Okay. Well what if a Nazi had a gun to your head? 236 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:15,400 No, to my head and he said he'd kill me if you didn't say one thing that was wrong with me. 237 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,400 I still wouldn't say anything. 238 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,239 He's got a gun Graham. He's going to kill me. 239 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,559 Is she gone? 240 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:28,960 Maybe he's one of those nice Nazis who didn't want to join in with everything. 241 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,640 No, he wants to join in. 242 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,999 God, I'm getting kind of scared Graham. 243 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,759 He's really scary and I can feel the gun against my head. 244 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,080 Okay, okay. Alright. 245 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:52,360 Maybe sometimes you can be a little.. 246 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,920 A little mind.. He's going to pull the trigger. 247 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:03,920 A little tiny small bit lazy. 248 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,080 Ciara. 249 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,920 Ciara. 250 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,319 There. She's gone back inside. 251 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:20,039 Let's go before she comes back with a warrant. 252 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,000 Where's she off to? 253 00:15:32,839 --> 00:15:35,759 Ciara. Please come out. 254 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:38,279 We really have to go. 255 00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:41,558 Lazy. You called her lazy! But she.. 256 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:43,478 And we were just about to go out. 257 00:15:43,479 --> 00:15:45,718 It was a Nazi. What? 258 00:15:45,719 --> 00:15:50,158 She said a Nazi would kill her unless I told her what was wrong with her. 259 00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:53,959 Graham, Graham. That's the oldest trick in the book. 260 00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:58,759 Any situation like that you let the Nazi take her out. 261 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:02,158 What did you say to her? He called her lazy. 262 00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:03,558 Are you mentalist? 263 00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:06,238 We are this close to leaving and you start flinging insults around. 264 00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:10,039 Just stay here. Feckin' nut job. 265 00:16:19,639 --> 00:16:24,799 You think you have life figured out, then something like this happens. 266 00:16:25,119 --> 00:16:27,079 What? 267 00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:30,159 What is this? What is he doing? 268 00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:32,198 Taking a cat to see the Easter Bunny? 269 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:36,959 It doesn't make any sense. Nothing makes any sense. 270 00:16:39,319 --> 00:16:40,758 I'm scared of opening it. 271 00:16:40,759 --> 00:16:42,518 I'm scared of not opening it. 272 00:16:42,519 --> 00:16:47,278 Look, I know I don't usually turn to You for advice but 273 00:16:47,279 --> 00:16:49,279 obviously I'm desperate. 274 00:16:50,679 --> 00:16:53,919 > Unfortunately Tony, I can't help. 275 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:59,158 > This is something you're going to have to sort out for yourself. 276 00:16:59,159 --> 00:17:02,119 > There's a rat-like thing in here Tony. 277 00:17:02,279 --> 00:17:04,998 > I wonder is that where the smell is coming from. 278 00:17:04,999 --> 00:17:08,318 > Oh no, it's alive. It's coming towards me! 279 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,719 Are you alright Martin? > No! Agh! Go away. 280 00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,999 > Go away! 281 00:17:29,319 --> 00:17:33,918 Rory, put that Easter Bunny, catman, baldy fella down for a second. 282 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:37,158 I want to talk to you about some thing. Yeah? 283 00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:40,559 Listen, I'm not going to be around forever. 284 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:44,918 Yeah, we're going out. No. I'm not going to be around forever. 285 00:17:44,919 --> 00:17:47,198 You're going out? Can I come? 286 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:51,198 No. Stop looking at that thing. Are you going to a film? 287 00:17:51,199 --> 00:17:57,159 No. My point is, I'm not going to be around here forever. 288 00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:01,879 Strollinstown? Are we moving? No, we're not moving. 289 00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:05,438 I'm talking about me. You're moving? 290 00:18:05,439 --> 00:18:07,838 Are you and Ma splitting up? No. 291 00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:11,239 Then why are you moving? I'm not moving. 292 00:18:11,519 --> 00:18:16,879 Look Rory, I'm talking about the inevitable. 293 00:18:17,479 --> 00:18:20,438 The inevitable? Is that the name of the film? 294 00:18:20,439 --> 00:18:24,679 Are you going to a film? No! Can I come? 295 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:28,239 > Graham, I'm not going to be around forever. 296 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,359 Okay. 297 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,319 Do you remember when your ma died? 298 00:18:35,159 --> 00:18:36,998 Yes. 299 00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:40,158 Well, what kind of funeral did she have? 300 00:18:40,159 --> 00:18:44,919 Well it was pretty traditional. She was cremated though. 301 00:18:45,479 --> 00:18:47,439 Incinerated, yeah. 302 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:50,599 Well cremated. 303 00:18:51,519 --> 00:18:55,798 When I die I'd like the full taxi-man procession all the way 304 00:18:55,799 --> 00:19:00,278 down the bus lane to the church. But I wouldn't want a fuss. 305 00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:02,759 Why bother? What? 306 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:07,199 What's the point in funerals? What's the point in anything? 307 00:19:08,199 --> 00:19:11,599 Right, crisis over. She's just sorting her make-up. 308 00:19:13,639 --> 00:19:17,918 What are you on about? What if there's no heaven? 309 00:19:17,919 --> 00:19:23,359 What if there's just nothing? What if nothing means anything? 310 00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:26,358 I told you to stay away from him. 311 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,158 I didn't say anything to him. 312 00:19:28,159 --> 00:19:30,678 Did you get changed again? What are you wearing? 313 00:19:30,679 --> 00:19:33,118 You look like one of those emus. Emos. 314 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,079 Whatever. You look daft. 315 00:19:35,919 --> 00:19:37,919 Rory. 316 00:19:38,559 --> 00:19:43,359 Did you hear about this new film about constipation? No. 317 00:19:43,719 --> 00:19:46,679 That's because it hasn't come out yet. 318 00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:52,799 Normally Da, I would never stop laughing at that joke. 319 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:57,198 Because I think it's the funniest joke I've ever heard. 320 00:19:57,199 --> 00:20:01,879 But today, I'm just not in the mood. 321 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,679 This is all his fault. Richard Dawkins here. 322 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,798 Do you really not believe in heaven? 323 00:20:12,799 --> 00:20:13,798 Please, I don't.. 324 00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:15,558 Do you want to know what I think heaven's like? 325 00:20:15,559 --> 00:20:19,838 Driving down Route 66 in an old Chevy convertible, 326 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:23,198 with Carmel in the back cooking a fry. 327 00:20:23,199 --> 00:20:27,918 Excuse me Tony. I'm not spending eternity cooking you breakfast in a car. 328 00:20:27,919 --> 00:20:30,399 You can forget about that now. 329 00:20:31,679 --> 00:20:33,758 Hi Ciara. 330 00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:35,078 Hello. 331 00:20:35,079 --> 00:20:37,278 Right, that's us. At last. 332 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,918 We'll just make the early bird if we leave right now. 333 00:20:39,919 --> 00:20:41,758 Where's Rory? Rory! 334 00:20:41,759 --> 00:20:44,679 > I'm here! Where? 335 00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:47,278 > In the wall! 336 00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,958 What are you doing in there? 337 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:50,959 > Showing Martin the photo. 338 00:20:52,879 --> 00:20:57,318 Rory Walsh. Get out of that wall. We're going for dinner. 339 00:20:57,319 --> 00:21:00,238 > I'm not hungry. You're what? 340 00:21:00,239 --> 00:21:02,199 What did he say? 341 00:21:02,519 --> 00:21:04,918 Rory said he's not hungry. 342 00:21:04,919 --> 00:21:07,879 What? Rory said what? 343 00:21:08,639 --> 00:21:10,959 Rory said he's not hungry. 344 00:21:15,639 --> 00:21:18,639 We're running a few minutes late so.. 345 00:21:19,399 --> 00:21:22,918 We all know what we want so can we order now? 346 00:21:22,919 --> 00:21:23,998 Brilliant. 347 00:21:23,999 --> 00:21:26,959 Can I have five early birds please. 348 00:21:27,599 --> 00:21:29,799 What?! 349 00:21:29,879 --> 00:21:32,158 But we're ordering it now. 350 00:21:32,159 --> 00:21:35,438 I wouldn't have said anything if the Nazi hadn't been.. 351 00:21:35,439 --> 00:21:37,958 He was going to kill you Ciara. 352 00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:39,598 Yeah. 353 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,438 I had to say something. 354 00:21:41,439 --> 00:21:43,998 I was just trying to stall for time. 355 00:21:43,999 --> 00:21:45,958 I didn't know what he was capable of. 356 00:21:45,959 --> 00:21:49,318 Lazy though. Why did you have to say lazy? 357 00:21:49,319 --> 00:21:51,238 I didn't know what I was saying. 358 00:21:51,239 --> 00:21:53,519 People aren't themselves under occupation. 359 00:21:53,799 --> 00:21:57,918 So you'd just do whatever the Nazis told you to do? No. 360 00:21:57,919 --> 00:21:59,318 No, I'd resist. 361 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:04,479 I'd be with the resistance but you have to choose your moments. 362 00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:06,958 I don't know Graham. 363 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,918 Ciara, this is our lives. 364 00:22:08,919 --> 00:22:11,438 We can't play games with our lives. 365 00:22:11,439 --> 00:22:13,439 These people are dangerous. 366 00:22:15,079 --> 00:22:17,879 What people? 367 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:22,999 Imaginary Nazis. 368 00:22:23,919 --> 00:22:27,198 No, no. We can't reschedule till tomorrow. 369 00:22:27,199 --> 00:22:31,679 Today is the day we have the celebration of spontaneity. 370 00:22:32,639 --> 00:22:35,759 The celebration of spontaneity. 371 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:40,559 Well is there anyone there who speaks English? 372 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,999 Then put her on. 373 00:22:43,319 --> 00:22:45,478 So now I'm a Nazi? 374 00:22:45,479 --> 00:22:48,358 Look how easily you went along with everything. 375 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:52,959 Calling me lazy. That's exactly what happened with Poland. 376 00:22:53,479 --> 00:22:57,958 You can't compare me calling you lazy to the invasion of Poland. 377 00:22:57,959 --> 00:23:02,718 All it takes for evil men to succeed is for good men to do nothing. 378 00:23:02,719 --> 00:23:06,759 And you did nothing except call me lazy. 379 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,158 I didn't think. 380 00:23:09,159 --> 00:23:13,918 I thought lazy would be better than, I don't know, rude. Rude! 381 00:23:13,919 --> 00:23:17,318 You think I'm rude? I don't think you're rude. I think you're lovely. 382 00:23:17,319 --> 00:23:19,838 Where did rude come from? I don't know Ciara. 383 00:23:19,839 --> 00:23:22,718 I'm just pulling these out of my bum. 384 00:23:22,719 --> 00:23:25,079 < What's this light doing off?! 385 00:23:30,319 --> 00:23:32,638 Couldn't get the early bird. 386 00:23:32,639 --> 00:23:35,198 I don't think I'm in the mood now anyway. 387 00:23:35,199 --> 00:23:39,439 What's the point in being in the mood for things? 388 00:23:42,559 --> 00:23:45,998 > I'll tell yis. I've been listening to yis all night. 389 00:23:45,999 --> 00:23:51,638 > The only thing I'd be scare of when I die is to go that place, limbo. 390 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:55,438 > Heaven would be great obviously. That's a given. 391 00:23:55,439 --> 00:23:59,279 > Even hell, you'd meet some interesting people. 392 00:23:59,759 --> 00:24:05,519 > But limbo. Oh God. Waiting and waiting and waiting. 393 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,359 > Not knowing if you're coming or going. 394 00:24:09,519 --> 00:24:14,839 > Endlessly hoping for some resolution that might never 395 00:24:14,919 --> 00:24:19,599 ever, ever, ever come. 396 00:24:22,599 --> 00:24:24,518 Do you know what I mean? 397 00:24:24,519 --> 00:24:27,039 I think we've some idea Martin. 398 00:24:27,479 --> 00:24:29,479 Right. 399 00:24:30,199 --> 00:24:32,198 What's that? My results. 400 00:24:32,199 --> 00:24:34,718 When did they arrive? A couple of days ago. 401 00:24:34,719 --> 00:24:37,958 Martin's right. Good news or bad, I'd rather know. 402 00:24:37,959 --> 00:24:40,998 This is going to be good news. I can feel it. 403 00:24:40,999 --> 00:24:44,918 Yeah but even if it isn't, we'll get through it together. 404 00:24:44,919 --> 00:24:49,078 No, that's loser talk Carmel. This is gonna give me the all clear. 405 00:24:49,079 --> 00:24:51,358 What's it gonna give me? The all clear. 406 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,318 Ciara. It's gonna say all clear Da. 407 00:24:54,319 --> 00:24:55,758 Lads. All clear! 408 00:24:55,759 --> 00:24:58,038 It'll say all clear. 409 00:24:58,039 --> 00:25:01,479 Right, here we go. > It'll be good news. 410 00:25:02,439 --> 00:25:04,278 Yeah. 411 00:25:04,279 --> 00:25:06,239 Here we go. 412 00:25:19,479 --> 00:25:21,479 Oh Carmel. 413 00:25:23,039 --> 00:25:24,999 Jesus. Oh God. 414 00:25:26,039 --> 00:25:28,759 Oh Tony. Jesus. Tony. 415 00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:30,999 It's bad. 416 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,559 I love you Carmel. Oh no Tony. No. 417 00:25:36,959 --> 00:25:40,639 Ciara. Daddy's little girl. 418 00:25:41,279 --> 00:25:44,239 Stop it Da. Stop. 419 00:25:45,679 --> 00:25:50,918 There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. 420 00:25:50,919 --> 00:25:53,159 Your hamster didn't run away. 421 00:25:54,519 --> 00:25:58,359 I brought him to work and I lost him. 422 00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:01,838 Rory. What? 423 00:26:01,839 --> 00:26:06,519 We've had some craic over the years, haven't we. No. Yeah. 424 00:26:07,239 --> 00:26:09,799 I'm not ashamed to say it. 425 00:26:10,039 --> 00:26:15,038 My son is my best friend. I'm just glad you got your mother's hair. 426 00:26:15,039 --> 00:26:17,559 Shut up Da. What's going on? 427 00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:20,759 Graham. 428 00:26:21,599 --> 00:26:27,158 I haven't known you very long but you seem like a good skin. 429 00:26:27,159 --> 00:26:31,159 You make Ciara happy and you're alright by me. 430 00:26:31,239 --> 00:26:35,599 Just promise me you'll look after her. 431 00:26:36,439 --> 00:26:40,719 You have my word Mr. Walsh. Please call me Tony. 432 00:26:40,999 --> 00:26:42,999 Thanks Mr. Walsh. 433 00:26:44,599 --> 00:26:47,359 And Carmel. Stop it. 434 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:51,278 Where do I start? Stop it right now Tony. 435 00:26:51,279 --> 00:26:55,758 Let me see that thing. Let me see that bloody thing. 436 00:26:55,759 --> 00:26:58,279 I thought we'd grow old together. 437 00:27:00,239 --> 00:27:04,319 But my anal companion, it's Benigan. 438 00:27:08,959 --> 00:27:12,159 Benigan? Yeah. 439 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,318 Give me that bloody thing. 440 00:27:16,319 --> 00:27:18,279 It's written there. 441 00:27:21,559 --> 00:27:23,478 Benign Tony. 442 00:27:23,479 --> 00:27:26,879 Benign. Whatever way you say it. I'm finished. 443 00:27:28,519 --> 00:27:31,159 Benigan. You hairy goose! 444 00:27:31,919 --> 00:27:34,438 Benign is the good one Tony. What? 445 00:27:34,439 --> 00:27:39,078 They're doctors. They're not going to put all clear on it. 446 00:27:39,079 --> 00:27:41,358 Are you sure benign's the good one? 447 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:45,399 Of course I'm sure. There's a rhyme to remember. 448 00:27:45,719 --> 00:27:48,079 Benign is fine. Malignant is.. 449 00:27:48,319 --> 00:27:53,358 Anyway. Benign is fine. Benign is fine. 450 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,639 Benign is fine. It's fine. 451 00:27:56,759 --> 00:27:58,759 Benign is fine! 452 00:27:59,159 --> 00:28:03,319 Benign is fine. 453 00:28:03,399 --> 00:28:05,598 Benign is fine! Benign is fine! 454 00:28:05,599 --> 00:28:09,359 ALL: Benign is fine. Benign is fine. 455 00:28:11,159 --> 00:28:12,638 I told yis. 456 00:28:12,639 --> 00:28:14,558 > Benign is fine! 457 00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:16,519 Good man Martin. 458 00:28:16,999 --> 00:28:19,638 Right, will we go? Yeah, I'm starving. 459 00:28:19,639 --> 00:28:21,919 Good man Rory. Let's go. 460 00:28:25,639 --> 00:28:29,038 I'm getting a burger. Da, we've missed the early bird. 461 00:28:29,039 --> 00:28:33,719 Don't worry about it. We'll go a la carte. On me! 462 00:28:34,039 --> 00:28:39,039 But we won't get any starters cos it's getting a bite late. 463 00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:45,959 ♪ When no-one else can understand me. 464 00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:49,599 ♪ When everything I do is wrong. 465 00:28:50,319 --> 00:28:53,759 ♪ You give me hope and consolation. 466 00:28:54,439 --> 00:28:57,679 ♪ You give me strength to carry on. 467 00:28:58,319 --> 00:29:03,999 ♪ And you're always there to lend a hand 468 00:29:04,319 --> 00:29:08,359 ♪ in everything I do. 469 00:29:09,359 --> 00:29:11,399 That's the wonder. 470 00:29:11,999 --> 00:29:14,879 ♪ The wonder of you. 471 00:29:28,759 --> 00:29:33,079 : Tracey Carr, RTE 2014.