1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,425 - Previously on Wonderfalls. - See a penny, pick it up. 2 00:00:05,530 --> 00:00:08,465 No more talking from things that don't talk. We had a deal. 3 00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:10,091 Gretchen. 4 00:00:10,202 --> 00:00:12,534 Last time I saw you was at graduation. 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:16,199 Did you end up "overeducated and unemployable" like you said in the yearbook? 6 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,744 - Yep. - Check it out. I sacked such a good one. 7 00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:21,437 Are you his girlfriend? 8 00:00:21,546 --> 00:00:23,639 I don't have a girlfriend. 9 00:00:31,189 --> 00:00:33,589 They stop serving breakfast at 11:00. 10 00:00:33,692 --> 00:00:35,592 These came for you. 11 00:00:35,694 --> 00:00:38,754 "Can't wait. Save the date. Rooster Class of'98." 12 00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:41,094 Oh, God. More? 13 00:00:41,199 --> 00:00:44,134 Maybe it's time you put in that change of address with the post office. 14 00:00:44,236 --> 00:00:47,103 If I do that, these people will know where I live. 15 00:00:47,205 --> 00:00:49,969 Lots of people live in trailer parks. There's no shame to it. 16 00:00:51,443 --> 00:00:53,343 Who said I was ashamed? 17 00:00:53,445 --> 00:00:57,677 Good! Then there's no reason for you to skip your ten-year reunion. 18 00:00:57,783 --> 00:01:00,308 Right, because it's only been six and a half years. 19 00:01:00,419 --> 00:01:04,287 I don't miss those people yet, and I don't think that's a problem time can solve. 20 00:01:04,389 --> 00:01:06,755 - Those sons of biscuits. - I know! Huh? 21 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,093 Oh. 22 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,925 You have any idea how much those sanitation jokers make? 23 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,430 A lot? 24 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,661 Enough to have a little pride in a job well done. This is just sloppy! 25 00:01:17,769 --> 00:01:20,932 - There's no pride here. - It is garbage. 26 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:24,600 You know, I have to say, your sister really enjoyed her reunion. 27 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,736 Yeah, Sharon also enjoyed 4-H. 28 00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:40,723 Hate to see you miss out. That's all. 29 00:01:40,826 --> 00:01:43,727 Yeah. I'll just wear my smock from the store. 30 00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:47,390 It already has my name stitched into the vest. I won't even have to wear a sticker. 31 00:01:47,499 --> 00:01:49,967 Don't denigrate what you do. 32 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,128 I sell plastic canoes and refrigerator magnets. 33 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,206 It's only temporary. 34 00:01:56,608 --> 00:01:59,133 Can't believe they'd leave a mess like this. 35 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,576 Get off your ass. 36 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,511 He's fine! 37 00:02:03,615 --> 00:02:06,709 - You're fine. Right? - Just a couple more. I'll manage. 38 00:02:06,818 --> 00:02:08,479 See? He's managing. 39 00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:15,225 Just get off your ass. 40 00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:16,988 I'm not listening. 41 00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:25,068 The service industry is a noble profession. 42 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:28,697 I don't want you comparing yourself unfairly to the achievements of your siblings. 43 00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:30,536 Go away. 44 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,182 Oh! 45 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,185 There are many ways to measure success, and you are not- 46 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,187 Sweetheart, the car is rolling! 47 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,781 The car's. Ooh! Oh, God. Oww! 48 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:26,829 Hmm. 49 00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:35,369 - How many fractures before it's multiple? - Two. 50 00:03:35,474 --> 00:03:37,806 - How many do you have? - Seven. 51 00:03:37,909 --> 00:03:41,401 - And people say you're an underachiever. - This isn't a criticism. 52 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:44,107 I'm just curious. How do you run someone down from the passenger seat? 53 00:03:44,216 --> 00:03:46,776 I don't see the left side view of the tibia. 54 00:03:46,885 --> 00:03:49,752 What's Ken been doing down there, developing his holiday photos? 55 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:53,450 - Yes, Doctor. - No, I'm serious. 56 00:03:53,558 --> 00:03:55,253 Does nothing get done around this hospital without me? 57 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,626 Maybe she did it on purpose. Could be an attempt at getting an early inheritance. 58 00:03:59,731 --> 00:04:02,256 Your sister's not a cold-blooded murderer. She's never been a planner. 59 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,700 - It was an accident! - Of course it was, dear. 60 00:04:05,804 --> 00:04:07,533 Technically, it was contributory negligence. 61 00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:10,802 I feel really bad. Can we just pretend this didn't happen? 62 00:04:10,909 --> 00:04:12,536 That's what the morphine's for. 63 00:04:12,644 --> 00:04:14,475 I hear morphine's a constipater. 64 00:04:14,579 --> 00:04:17,446 If you're on a drip, we usually give you a stool softener. 65 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,847 Which I have not been given, by the way. 66 00:04:19,951 --> 00:04:23,045 - Yes, Doctor. - I don't need them charging me for this. 67 00:04:25,957 --> 00:04:27,891 Hey, that cart stopped all by itself... 68 00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:30,393 and it didn't have to hit anybody to do it. 69 00:04:30,495 --> 00:04:32,156 Sharon! 70 00:04:32,264 --> 00:04:35,563 - Is this supposed to be elevated? - No, it's fine, dear. 71 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,999 Don't touch it- Leave it alone! 72 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,128 Do you want more narcotics? Excuse me, nurse- 73 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,706 No, what I want is a pudding parfait from the cafeteria. 74 00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:45,002 - Oh, I'll get it. - Let me! 75 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:48,307 No, don't you take off before I have a look at that blood panel! 76 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,746 - I'll stop by later with some clean underwear. - Bye, Dad. 77 00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,818 Bye. 78 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,487 Can I stay? 79 00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:00,683 We could still have breakfast. I could go get waffles. 80 00:05:00,792 --> 00:05:03,727 I'm having pudding parfait. You should go to work. 81 00:05:03,828 --> 00:05:06,058 Do you hate me? 82 00:05:06,164 --> 00:05:09,031 No, I don't hate you, sweetheart. 83 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:12,035 I know when you're careless it's not because you don't care. 84 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,833 It's just these things happen with you. 85 00:05:27,319 --> 00:05:30,049 - Hey. - What are you doing here? 86 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:33,420 The last thing you said before you hung up on me was, "My sister killed my father. 87 00:05:33,525 --> 00:05:35,516 I'm going to the E.R. " 88 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:40,121 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. He's fine. He's in a lot of pain, but he's fine. 89 00:05:40,231 --> 00:05:44,930 - Just a broken leg. - So, are we still on for tonight? 90 00:05:45,036 --> 00:05:47,436 You still owe me a date. 91 00:05:47,539 --> 00:05:49,803 Absolutely! I wouldn't miss it for the world. 92 00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,876 - Sharon! - Drive away. 93 00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,477 Drive away! Drive away! 94 00:05:54,579 --> 00:05:56,444 Sharon! Glad I caught you! 95 00:05:56,548 --> 00:06:00,143 I saw this on my way out. It's an in-patient smoking cessation clinic. 96 00:06:00,251 --> 00:06:02,981 I thought it could be fun. 97 00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:04,953 Hello. I'm Karen Tyler, Sharon's mother. 98 00:06:05,056 --> 00:06:07,718 - I don't know her. - I thought you two were talking. 99 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:12,388 What I said was, I didn't know I'd see her here. This is Beth. 100 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,261 - How do you know each other? - We- 101 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:17,494 - We, uh- - Carpool. 102 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:22,000 - They carpool together. - Carpool. 103 00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:26,002 Have you gone Green? 104 00:06:26,111 --> 00:06:28,773 I think she's a closet environmentalist. 105 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:33,184 I'd really love to have this conversation another time. 106 00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:39,989 Carpool. 107 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,687 Bye. 108 00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:52,103 Have a wonderful day! 109 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:56,474 That Beth seems like a sweet girl. I bet she has a boyfriend. 110 00:07:01,479 --> 00:07:03,208 You're late. 111 00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:05,214 My father had an accident. 112 00:07:05,316 --> 00:07:07,648 I just wanna tell you. Your friend from high school's... 113 00:07:07,752 --> 00:07:09,652 - Jaye! - here. 114 00:07:09,754 --> 00:07:11,654 This is not happening. 115 00:07:11,756 --> 00:07:14,224 Hi! Oh, just one sec. 116 00:07:14,325 --> 00:07:17,817 I looked over the menu, Brice, and can I just say, major concerns. 117 00:07:17,929 --> 00:07:20,659 We're following the letter of dietary law. 118 00:07:20,765 --> 00:07:25,168 We Jewish people represent the largest minority in our graduating class. 119 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,602 Got me? Fantastic! 120 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,308 How fun is this? 121 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,640 - Could you excuse us a sec? - Thank you. 122 00:07:36,681 --> 00:07:39,206 Surprise! I'm your new manager. 123 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,186 Could you imagine? 124 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:47,349 Please! No, silly. I'm in town for the six and a half-year reunion. 125 00:07:47,459 --> 00:07:49,689 You couldn't wait three and a half more years? 126 00:07:49,794 --> 00:07:51,989 I'll be pilgrimaging in Israel by then. 127 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:55,897 And, as senior class president, there is no reunion without me. 128 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,696 Besides, life is grand! 129 00:07:58,803 --> 00:08:00,703 The marriage, the conversion. 130 00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:04,104 I couldn't wait three and a half years to share that, even if I had to. 131 00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:08,270 Which I don't. But there's just one problem- I've got no one to help. 132 00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:12,145 The class officers are all so busy with their careers and families... 133 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,218 so naturally I thought of you. 134 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,288 Time for my break. 135 00:08:17,388 --> 00:08:19,253 Jaye, you have to help! 136 00:08:19,357 --> 00:08:21,257 - No, I don't. - Yes, you do! 137 00:08:21,359 --> 00:08:23,259 - No, I don't. - Yes, you do. 138 00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:25,556 - No, I don't. - Yes, you do. 139 00:08:25,663 --> 00:08:27,290 No, I don't. 140 00:08:27,398 --> 00:08:32,700 Hi. You stepped in something and dragged it all the way in here for us to smell. 141 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:36,035 Oh, my God! I can't believe you two still hang out. 142 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,405 Janet, you look fantastic! 143 00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:41,138 - It's Mahandra. - Oh! You changed your name? 144 00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:42,941 - No, I didn't. - I changed mine too. 145 00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:44,947 It's Mrs. Robert Horowitz now. 146 00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:46,949 That's our couples card. 147 00:08:47,051 --> 00:08:50,214 Amy Grant and Vince Gill have them. So do Reese and Ryan. 148 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,313 Robert owns his own escrow company. You'll meet him tomorrow night. 149 00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:56,882 He's much more Jewish than I am, mostly because he was born that way. 150 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,190 I'm sort of a Christmas-and-Easter Jew. 151 00:08:59,297 --> 00:09:02,289 So, Jaye, how 'bout I put you down for unstacking chairs and tables? 152 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,891 - What is she talking about? - The reunion. 153 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:08,268 Oh, I loved high school. 154 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,136 - Why don't you go then? - I am. 155 00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:11,970 - To our reunion? - Mm-hmm. 156 00:09:12,076 --> 00:09:13,805 He's working the bar. 157 00:09:13,912 --> 00:09:15,812 This bar. We're having it here. 158 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,744 That's the private party tomorrow night? 159 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,011 Okay, I'm gonna sweeten the deal. 160 00:09:21,119 --> 00:09:24,282 You can be balloon filler and use the helium tank. 161 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,289 You always enjoyed that sort of thing. 162 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:29,417 I told you. I can't help. 163 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:33,088 My father's in the hospital. It wouldn't feel right having so much... fun. 164 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,530 Your father's in the hospital? 165 00:09:35,633 --> 00:09:38,932 - He got run over. - I'm sure you didn't mean to. 166 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,437 - Ohh! - It's gonna be beautiful. 167 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,439 Chinese lanterns... 168 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,202 a memory lane with photos. 169 00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:47,642 It's going right over there. 170 00:09:47,745 --> 00:09:50,111 If I could do it without you, I would. Believe me. 171 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:53,116 - My cell phone's ringing. - You don't have a cell phone. 172 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,118 - Can I use your phone? - Sure. 173 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,313 Jaye, you have to help! 174 00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:01,657 - Hello? - Hi. How are you? 175 00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:04,057 - Fine. - So, when are you checking out? 176 00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:06,062 I wanna give you a ride. 177 00:10:06,164 --> 00:10:08,997 - I don't need a ride. I'm not checking out tonight. - Why? What's wrong? 178 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,000 Nothing's wrong. 179 00:10:11,102 --> 00:10:14,663 They're holding me over for some routine tests. I'll be home tomorrow. 180 00:10:14,772 --> 00:10:16,672 Call waiting. Hold on. 181 00:10:16,774 --> 00:10:19,675 Eric's phone. Who's calling? 182 00:10:19,777 --> 00:10:21,642 His wife. 183 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,171 Are you there? Hello! 184 00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:28,775 - I said, it's his wife. - His cheating wife? The one who broke his heart? 185 00:10:28,887 --> 00:10:30,411 Who is this? 186 00:10:30,521 --> 00:10:33,081 Eric can't talk right now because he's servicing me sexually. 187 00:10:33,191 --> 00:10:35,182 - Sorry. - Where is Er- 188 00:10:35,293 --> 00:10:37,193 Sorry. 189 00:10:37,295 --> 00:10:40,264 Do you want me to pick up that Sounds of the Rain Forest sleep machine? 190 00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:42,230 No, don't worry about me. I'm fine. 191 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:44,699 At least let me give you a ride home tomorrow. 192 00:10:44,802 --> 00:10:47,965 It's already covered. Sharon's gonna do it. Her car's bigger. 193 00:10:48,072 --> 00:10:49,972 Oh. 194 00:10:50,074 --> 00:10:52,668 You're not gonna have waffles with her, are you? 195 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,540 We'll talk later. 196 00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:56,773 Nurse just brought my dinner. 197 00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,615 Everything all right? 198 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,383 I think my sister just took my place 'cause I refused to get off my ass. 199 00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:09,654 You know what? You're not into this. I can tell. 200 00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:13,197 It'll be a lot of work, but I'm sure I'll manage. 201 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,199 Takes some people long enough to get the hint, doesn't it? 202 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,532 Get the hint. Get off your ass. 203 00:11:21,105 --> 00:11:24,097 - What did you say? - Help Gretchen. 204 00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:26,108 Get off your ass! 205 00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:28,269 Okay, I'll do it! 206 00:11:28,379 --> 00:11:30,677 Ew. 207 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,383 I'd love to help you with the reunion. 208 00:11:46,698 --> 00:11:48,598 Gretchen Speck is the Antichrist... 209 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,827 and you're helping her throw a reunion. 210 00:11:50,935 --> 00:11:53,301 You're throwing a reunion with the Antichrist. 211 00:11:53,404 --> 00:11:55,838 Come on. Could be fun. 212 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:57,840 Seeing long-missed friends... 213 00:11:57,942 --> 00:12:00,172 ribbing each other about the old days. 214 00:12:00,278 --> 00:12:02,746 It'll be like a beer commercial. You like beer. 215 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:06,146 Have you been huffing puff paint? Because this isn't like you. 216 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:09,048 What do you mean, "like me"? There is no "like me. " 217 00:12:09,153 --> 00:12:11,951 I'm not "like" anything, and if I were it certainly wouldn't be me. 218 00:12:12,056 --> 00:12:13,614 Why are you doing this? 219 00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:16,626 I don't have a choice. I'm a puppet. 220 00:12:16,728 --> 00:12:19,629 The universe just sticks its hand up my butt... 221 00:12:19,731 --> 00:12:21,824 and if I don't dance people get hurt. 222 00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:25,096 Is this because you tried to kill your father? 223 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,262 I don't know. Maybe. 224 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,272 Maybe that is why. 225 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:33,504 But just come with me. It'll be hilarious. We'll just goof on everybody. 226 00:12:33,644 --> 00:12:35,874 Mmm. Lucy Simpson. 227 00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:38,278 - She's going. Remember her? - Yeah. 228 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,374 She's a city councilwoman now. 229 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,543 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 230 00:12:43,654 --> 00:12:45,554 The retail clerk and the cocktail waitress... 231 00:12:45,656 --> 00:12:48,557 are gonna goof on the honorable councilwoman. 232 00:12:48,659 --> 00:12:51,150 Oh! Oh! And the astronaut! 233 00:12:51,262 --> 00:12:53,162 Who? 234 00:12:53,264 --> 00:12:55,232 Kent Rylander. 235 00:12:56,934 --> 00:13:00,233 This whole early reunion thing has really thrown off my timetable. 236 00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:02,568 I was counting on those three and a half years... 237 00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:07,201 to maybe invent something, become an overnight success. 238 00:13:07,311 --> 00:13:11,304 Think they'd believe I was a spy? That would explain why there's no paper trail. 239 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:14,750 Oh, God. 240 00:13:14,852 --> 00:13:19,687 This was the week Gretchen Speck put activator in my shampoo. 241 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,061 God, you're right. 242 00:13:24,162 --> 00:13:27,859 - It was a good look for Black History Month. - Yeah, until it all fell out. 243 00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:29,830 She really was horrible to you. 244 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,902 I'm going. 245 00:13:32,003 --> 00:13:34,062 - What? - I'll go to your little shindig. 246 00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:35,764 You will? Great. 247 00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:38,341 Okay, here's the list Gretchen gave me. 248 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,571 Oh, no. I've got my own list of things to do. 249 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,581 And at the top of it- destroy Gretchen Speck. 250 00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:47,583 You may be the universe's butt puppet... 251 00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:50,245 but I'm its right-hand fist of fate... 252 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:53,721 and tonight accounts are comin' due. 253 00:13:55,093 --> 00:13:57,459 Mom! We're back! 254 00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,462 Sharon, she's not here. 255 00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:02,727 - Didn't she know you were getting back this afternoon? - I didn't tell her. 256 00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:05,769 - Why? - Oh, I didn't see any reason to bother her. 257 00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:08,771 She had plans tonight, and you know your mother. 258 00:14:08,873 --> 00:14:11,774 She would have canceled. I didn't want that. 259 00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:14,868 - Well, what about your foot? - What about it? 260 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:19,109 It needs to be checked every 45 minutes in case it starts turning blue. 261 00:14:19,217 --> 00:14:21,117 I can see it from here. 262 00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:23,119 It's connected to me. 263 00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:26,156 I'll be fine. Listen, thanks for getting me home. 264 00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:28,157 I appreciate it. 265 00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:31,160 Not a problem. Court was dark today anyway. 266 00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:33,822 Anything else I can get you before I go? 267 00:14:33,931 --> 00:14:37,128 - I have to meet... someone. - Wouldn't say no to a blanket. 268 00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:44,136 - Here you go. - Oh. Thanks. 269 00:14:44,242 --> 00:14:46,142 Okay. 270 00:14:46,244 --> 00:14:48,144 - Thank you, sweetheart. - Bye. 271 00:14:48,246 --> 00:14:50,771 Uh, honey? 272 00:14:50,882 --> 00:14:55,012 Could I maybe get the chenille from the den? Scratchy. 273 00:14:55,119 --> 00:14:57,019 Sure. 274 00:14:57,121 --> 00:14:59,612 Oh, and, sweetie? 275 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,588 Maybe a can of soda. 276 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:07,357 Uh, with some ice. And I wouldn't say no to a cookie! 277 00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:13,964 - So, how does this work? - I'm not sure. 278 00:15:14,071 --> 00:15:16,972 I've never actually volunteered for anything before. 279 00:15:17,074 --> 00:15:20,771 Jaye Tyler? Hi! I didn't know you'd be here! 280 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,711 I'll see you around later tonight. Okay? 281 00:15:23,814 --> 00:15:26,078 - Any idea at all? - No clue. 282 00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:28,812 It's the two J's! 283 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,651 Janet, I can't thank you enough for pitching in! 284 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:35,225 - Mahandra. - Shalom! 285 00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:38,523 Who are all these people? I thought you didn't have anyone to help. 286 00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,529 I got ahold of the marching band list. 287 00:15:40,631 --> 00:15:42,531 The response was so overwhelming... 288 00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:45,227 I had to turn anything away with a spit valve. 289 00:15:45,336 --> 00:15:46,963 Okay, so, two things.: 290 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,971 there's your helium... 291 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,473 and "B," Robert's flying in early tonight... 292 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,568 so I'm throwing a little pre-party bash at our hotel... 293 00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:58,308 just so the posse can meet him before all the craziness starts. 294 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,646 But it's strictly A-list... 295 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,844 so... none of these people. 296 00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:04,581 None of them. 297 00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:06,987 - We'll be there. - Great! 298 00:16:10,861 --> 00:16:13,557 Oh, she is gonna pay. She's gonna pay. 299 00:16:13,664 --> 00:16:15,564 Then she's gonna pay some more. 300 00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:18,157 And when she's done payin', she's gonna owe me a check. 301 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,169 Just keep the details to yourself. 302 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,171 I told you- 303 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:25,436 I can't actively participate in any Gretchen Speck sabotage. 304 00:16:25,543 --> 00:16:27,443 There could be consequences. 305 00:16:27,545 --> 00:16:29,706 You suck! 306 00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:33,941 Sharon? Remember, no onions in the salad. 307 00:16:34,051 --> 00:16:35,951 Hello. 308 00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:37,953 Hi, it's me. 309 00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:39,955 Sharon, why are you whispering? 310 00:16:40,057 --> 00:16:42,958 You know how we made plans tonight, and I said I wouldn't miss them? 311 00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,460 - Yeah? - I have to miss them. 312 00:16:45,563 --> 00:16:47,463 - Again. - I know! 313 00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:50,966 But my dad just got out of the hospital, and I got roped into babysitting. 314 00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:52,968 My family assumes I have no life... 315 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,970 so everything gets dumped on me. 316 00:16:55,072 --> 00:16:58,473 Well, your family doesn't know anything about your life, so you can't really blame them. 317 00:16:58,576 --> 00:17:00,476 Are you defending them? 318 00:17:00,578 --> 00:17:03,411 No, I just- I guess I'm disappointed, that's all. 319 00:17:03,514 --> 00:17:07,416 - I'm sorry, but things are complicated. - I know. 320 00:17:07,518 --> 00:17:09,418 Look, maybe sometime in the future... 321 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,420 if things get less complicated... 322 00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:13,490 you can call me, okay? 323 00:17:14,525 --> 00:17:16,425 Are you blowing me off? 324 00:17:16,527 --> 00:17:18,927 You called to blow me off. 325 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,759 Sharon? Are you there? 326 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,928 I think things just got a lot less complicated. 327 00:17:34,478 --> 00:17:37,140 - Hi, hi, hi! - Hi. 328 00:17:37,248 --> 00:17:39,239 Come on in! Come in! 329 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,318 You two look great. 330 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,755 Mom? 331 00:17:48,059 --> 00:17:50,653 You made the A-list, dear. I'm so proud. 332 00:17:50,761 --> 00:17:52,524 What are you doing here? 333 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:54,791 I've been on the A-list since you were a sophomore. 334 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:57,026 You're going to my reunion. 335 00:17:57,134 --> 00:18:00,103 Of course you are. Why wouldn't you? You went to my prom. 336 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,672 As a chaperone. 337 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:06,038 So, is this it? Where's your posse? 338 00:18:06,143 --> 00:18:09,010 What do you mean? You are my posse. 339 00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:11,805 Here. 340 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,680 - Thanks. - Sure thing... girlfriend. 341 00:18:14,785 --> 00:18:18,778 - Cheers. - What about those girls you used to hang out with? 342 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,016 Oh, we don't need them. 343 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:22,820 So, question.: 344 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,896 Should we start the photo album now, or wait till Robert gets here? 345 00:18:26,997 --> 00:18:28,828 Are those our choices? 346 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,834 You know what? He can see these any old time he wants to. 347 00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,836 Sit, sit! 348 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:36,031 Our wedding- very traditional. 349 00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:38,870 Why are those pilgrims carrying you on that folding chair? 350 00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:41,536 Jaye, stop teasing. You saw Fiddler. 351 00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:44,512 - Oh, is that Robert? - That's my mensch. 352 00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,173 He's very distinguished. 353 00:18:46,283 --> 00:18:49,150 - Excellent teeth. - Oh, family of orthodontists. 354 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:52,222 Oh! Probably him now. Excuse me. 355 00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,757 Pook! Hi! We were just talking about you. 356 00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:02,889 Are you in the lobby? What? 357 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,492 But we discussed this. You promised. 358 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,697 Okay. Bye. 359 00:19:16,147 --> 00:19:18,047 - Everything okay? - Great! 360 00:19:18,149 --> 00:19:20,549 He's not coming. So, where were we? 361 00:19:20,651 --> 00:19:22,619 Honeymoon already? Okay. 362 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:27,157 So, Bora-Bora. And here we are at Bona Fide Polynesian Cuisine. 363 00:19:27,258 --> 00:19:29,158 Here we are spear fishing. 364 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:32,457 And here you can see that Robert doesn't love me. 365 00:19:33,831 --> 00:19:36,425 Oh, I'm sure that's not true. 366 00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:39,264 If he loved me, he'd be here. 367 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,270 He promised. 368 00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:44,068 But Robert makes a lot of promises. 369 00:19:44,175 --> 00:19:47,406 He promised we'd have sex again, but he hasn't touched me in months. 370 00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:49,240 Well, that happens. 371 00:19:49,346 --> 00:19:51,940 Men have patches where they lose interest. Especially career-minded men. 372 00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,949 Well, I've done everything to please him. 373 00:19:54,051 --> 00:19:56,679 I've changed religions, for God's sakes! 374 00:19:56,787 --> 00:19:59,153 I'm not going to heaven now. 375 00:19:59,256 --> 00:20:01,486 What more does he want? 376 00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:08,055 - Honey, you should go in there. - Me? 377 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,792 Otherwise I'll have to. 378 00:20:17,074 --> 00:20:18,974 Hey. 379 00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:21,476 God, I'm so embarrassed. 380 00:20:21,579 --> 00:20:24,980 I promised myself I wouldn't do this in front of friends. 381 00:20:25,082 --> 00:20:26,777 Oh, we're not your- 382 00:20:26,884 --> 00:20:28,875 It's fine. 383 00:20:28,986 --> 00:20:30,954 What people must think of me. 384 00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:34,456 Nobody thinks of you... badly. 385 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,459 Really? 386 00:20:37,561 --> 00:20:40,462 People don't see me as this pathetic blonde who peaked in high school... 387 00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:43,431 and is so desperate to recapture her past glory... 388 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,435 that she moved the ten-year reunion up by three and a half years? 389 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,198 Uh- 390 00:20:48,305 --> 00:20:52,366 But I just figured if I could get my mojo back... 391 00:20:52,476 --> 00:20:55,104 recapture some of the old magic... 392 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,340 then Robert could see me for who I was. 393 00:20:58,449 --> 00:21:01,009 And then he'd love me. 394 00:21:01,118 --> 00:21:03,951 - Pitiful, huh? - No, it's just- 395 00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:06,545 Gretchen, you don't seem all that different. 396 00:21:06,657 --> 00:21:09,217 - Really? - Really. 397 00:21:09,326 --> 00:21:12,022 You're just trying to make me feel better. 398 00:21:12,129 --> 00:21:14,222 Is it working? 399 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,163 Jaye Tyler, look at you. 400 00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:23,536 Getting my mind off my troubles by taking my pain and making it about you. 401 00:21:23,641 --> 00:21:25,541 It's a gift. 402 00:21:25,643 --> 00:21:27,975 It certainly is! 403 00:21:29,013 --> 00:21:31,675 - And I accept. - Good. 404 00:21:31,782 --> 00:21:33,682 And you're right. 405 00:21:33,784 --> 00:21:36,685 I'm not gonna let Robert spoil this night for me... 406 00:21:36,787 --> 00:21:40,052 or for any of the people who have been looking forward to seeing me. 407 00:21:40,157 --> 00:21:42,318 - That's the spirit. - Rooster spirit! 408 00:21:43,527 --> 00:21:46,758 Just let me do a little damage control here. 409 00:21:46,864 --> 00:21:48,764 Would you mind? 410 00:21:48,866 --> 00:21:51,994 - It's a chicken. - It's my pin from Spirit Club. 411 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,229 My booster rooster. 412 00:21:54,338 --> 00:21:56,738 You were never really part of any clubs, were you? 413 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,502 No. 414 00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:05,080 You're a real friend. 415 00:22:07,184 --> 00:22:09,118 Destroy Gretchen. 416 00:22:10,721 --> 00:22:13,212 - How do I look? - Great. 417 00:22:13,324 --> 00:22:15,224 Thanks! 418 00:22:15,326 --> 00:22:18,386 I can do this. I can do this. 419 00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,291 Destroy her. 420 00:22:43,053 --> 00:22:47,319 Oh, look, sweetheart. Aren't those your friends from English Lit? 421 00:22:47,424 --> 00:22:49,324 I didn't have any friends in- 422 00:22:49,426 --> 00:22:51,758 Oh, Simone! Ursula! Deb, you look- 423 00:22:51,862 --> 00:22:53,762 Oh. 424 00:22:53,864 --> 00:22:57,095 I faced these people for four long years without a husband. 425 00:22:57,201 --> 00:23:00,102 I can certainly go solo for a few hours. 426 00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:04,402 Or even a half hour. I mean, we don't have to close the place down or anything. 427 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:07,409 I'd be a puddle on the floor of that luxury suite... 428 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,479 if it weren't for you, Jaye Tyler. 429 00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:11,480 Thank you. 430 00:23:11,582 --> 00:23:13,482 Here goes! 431 00:23:13,584 --> 00:23:15,779 Oh, my God! Cindy! Shalom! 432 00:23:15,886 --> 00:23:19,447 Destroy Gretchen. Destroy her. 433 00:23:21,258 --> 00:23:23,488 - So, regarding the destroying- - Spare me the lecture. 434 00:23:23,594 --> 00:23:26,757 Gretchen Speck may be your new best friend, but to me she's still the devil. 435 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:29,196 I'm in! Let the destruction begin. 436 00:23:29,299 --> 00:23:32,700 Pig blood shower. Chop her hair off in the ladies' room. Whatever. 437 00:23:32,803 --> 00:23:35,636 I mean, we probably shouldn't hurt her physically. 438 00:23:35,739 --> 00:23:39,140 At the very least, we should avoid scarring. What did you have in mind? 439 00:23:39,243 --> 00:23:41,143 - Oh, Lord. - What? 440 00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:44,009 - Is that really what I sound like? - What do you mean? 441 00:23:45,416 --> 00:23:48,749 Okay. You can put the mirror away. I get it. 442 00:23:48,852 --> 00:23:51,446 That is not the Janet I wanna be. 443 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:53,455 You know what? 444 00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:55,787 This might not actually altogether suck. 445 00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:57,793 Yo! Judy! 446 00:23:57,895 --> 00:23:59,954 What's up? 447 00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:16,137 I can do this. I can do this. 448 00:24:18,115 --> 00:24:20,743 Vodka. Hemlock chaser. 449 00:24:20,851 --> 00:24:22,614 Right. 450 00:24:24,321 --> 00:24:27,017 This one's free. Your friend Gretchen's getting everyone's first round. 451 00:24:27,124 --> 00:24:30,321 Oh, Gretchen. She's great. I have to destroy her. 452 00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,487 - Well, that's too bad. - Yeah. 453 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:36,191 Here. So, do you know all these people? 454 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:40,031 Sure. I know that guy and that guy... 455 00:24:40,137 --> 00:24:42,537 and her and her and her and him... 456 00:24:42,639 --> 00:24:45,608 and you. 457 00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:48,735 I guess you knew everyone in high school, since you love it so much. 458 00:24:48,846 --> 00:24:50,746 Actually, I didn't know anyone. 459 00:24:50,848 --> 00:24:54,045 But I knew their names and how many letters were in their names. 460 00:24:54,151 --> 00:24:56,176 It's a borderline autistic thing. 461 00:24:57,321 --> 00:24:59,755 - How many letters in my name? - Nine. 462 00:25:00,858 --> 00:25:03,452 - Boutros Boutros-Ghali? - Nineteen. 463 00:25:03,594 --> 00:25:06,085 Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? 464 00:25:06,196 --> 00:25:09,165 Thirty-four. But people ask me that all the time. 465 00:25:10,834 --> 00:25:13,462 So, how are you gonna destroy your friend? 466 00:25:13,570 --> 00:25:15,470 Oh, she's not my friend. 467 00:25:15,572 --> 00:25:19,099 But I thought I'd drink this, stumble over and slur something derogatory at her... 468 00:25:19,209 --> 00:25:21,109 maybe make her cry. 469 00:25:21,211 --> 00:25:24,237 Oh, that reminds me. Your wife called when I was on your phone. 470 00:25:24,348 --> 00:25:26,543 Heidi? What'd she say? 471 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:31,110 She wanted to talk to you, and I said you were servicing me sexually. 472 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:33,919 Really? 473 00:25:34,024 --> 00:25:37,460 Uh-huh. Was that inappropriate? 474 00:25:37,561 --> 00:25:39,927 Uh-uh. 475 00:25:41,031 --> 00:25:42,931 Wish I could destroy Heidi instead. 476 00:25:43,033 --> 00:25:46,059 At least I think she'd deserve it. 477 00:26:29,112 --> 00:26:31,012 Cookies and milk? 478 00:26:31,114 --> 00:26:33,139 Thank you, sweetheart. 479 00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:35,150 Toes blue? 480 00:26:35,252 --> 00:26:38,016 No. Good night. 481 00:26:38,121 --> 00:26:41,022 Good night. 482 00:26:58,208 --> 00:27:01,109 So, how goes the destruction of Gretchen Speck-Horowitz? 483 00:27:01,211 --> 00:27:04,703 - You know her whole name? - These are all over the floor. 484 00:27:04,815 --> 00:27:07,841 She'll soon be destroyed. I'm just working out a few details. 485 00:27:07,951 --> 00:27:10,852 - You don't seem like you're really into it. - I'm not. 486 00:27:10,954 --> 00:27:12,854 But it's expected of me. 487 00:27:12,956 --> 00:27:15,857 Oh, right. I get that. Certain people see you a certain way. 488 00:27:15,959 --> 00:27:18,359 And these people are from a particular time in your life... 489 00:27:18,462 --> 00:27:21,363 so when you're around them you feel compelled to act out psychodramas... 490 00:27:21,465 --> 00:27:23,524 that have nothing to do with who you are now. 491 00:27:23,634 --> 00:27:26,330 And the chicken in her hair told me to. 492 00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:29,769 God! She's just so tragic! 493 00:27:29,873 --> 00:27:32,967 She used to tell everybody the girl with muscular dystrophy was a drunk. 494 00:27:33,076 --> 00:27:35,977 You know why? Because she thought she was a drunk. 495 00:27:36,079 --> 00:27:38,980 Well, if she's that tragic maybe she'll just destroy herself. 496 00:27:39,082 --> 00:27:41,983 Frankly, I think that ship has already sailed. 497 00:27:42,085 --> 00:27:43,985 God! Oh, God! Pity! 498 00:27:44,087 --> 00:27:46,487 I'm having pity for Gretchen Speck. 499 00:27:46,590 --> 00:27:48,990 Is that really such a bad thing? 500 00:27:49,092 --> 00:27:51,993 It is if I'm supposed to destroy her. 501 00:27:52,095 --> 00:27:55,258 - Then don't destroy her. - It's more than that. 502 00:27:56,366 --> 00:27:58,266 I actually want to help her. 503 00:27:58,368 --> 00:28:00,097 It's making me sick. 504 00:28:00,203 --> 00:28:01,864 Well, then help her. 505 00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:04,964 But... the chicken. 506 00:28:05,075 --> 00:28:08,101 - Defy the chicken. - Seriously? 507 00:28:08,211 --> 00:28:11,112 Honestly, I'm not quite grasping the poultry reference. 508 00:28:11,214 --> 00:28:13,648 But then, I didn't go to your high school, so- 509 00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:16,241 So I should just follow my gut? 510 00:28:16,353 --> 00:28:18,378 Without a doubt. 511 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:22,219 What if my gut's telling me to somehow get her no-good husband here... 512 00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:25,227 so she could have her perfect, pathetic night? 513 00:28:25,329 --> 00:28:28,423 Sounds like a perfect, pathetic solution. 514 00:28:30,033 --> 00:28:32,228 Yeah. 515 00:28:32,336 --> 00:28:34,429 Screw the chicken. 516 00:28:34,538 --> 00:28:37,063 I'm gonna save that bitch's marriage. 517 00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:45,080 Dad? 518 00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:48,447 Dad! 519 00:28:49,553 --> 00:28:51,418 Hi. 520 00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:53,421 Wow. 521 00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:55,320 Dad! 522 00:28:55,425 --> 00:28:57,757 Is the coast clear? 523 00:28:57,861 --> 00:29:00,762 - Yep. - Good. 524 00:29:04,134 --> 00:29:06,796 Oh! That sounds great, you know! 525 00:29:06,903 --> 00:29:08,928 - See you later. - Bye, Gretchen. 526 00:29:19,649 --> 00:29:22,482 Excuse me. 527 00:29:22,586 --> 00:29:24,486 How you holding up? 528 00:29:24,588 --> 00:29:27,022 It's hard. Everyone keeps asking about Robert. 529 00:29:27,124 --> 00:29:29,456 You should probably stop handing out those couples cards. 530 00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:32,289 - I need to use your phone. - Sure. 531 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:34,296 Everything reminds me of him. 532 00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:37,526 I look at those potato latkes and I see his face. 533 00:29:37,634 --> 00:29:40,694 Well... try to be brave. 534 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:55,351 Oh, my goodness! Already? I wasn't even ready! Are you sure? 535 00:30:13,136 --> 00:30:16,367 I'm on my way, all right? So, please, no more with the guilt! 536 00:30:16,473 --> 00:30:18,941 - I- I- - Okay, okay. That was inappropriate. 537 00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:20,942 I'm sorry- Ugh! God! 538 00:30:21,044 --> 00:30:23,376 Three seconds in, and I'm already apologizing. 539 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,778 - Look, you know, the only reason... - Uh- 540 00:30:25,882 --> 00:30:29,841 I suggested I skip this thing this weekend was so that you would have a good time. 541 00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:31,853 I know how important it is to you... 542 00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:35,220 and it just seems we never get two words out anymore before we're fighting. 543 00:30:35,325 --> 00:30:38,351 Jeez, how does she ever get two words out? 544 00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:39,622 Who is this? 545 00:30:39,729 --> 00:30:42,095 You'd better be coming with flowers and candy, buddy. 546 00:30:42,199 --> 00:30:45,293 That's all I gotta say. You got me? 547 00:30:51,741 --> 00:30:55,939 Hello? 548 00:30:58,748 --> 00:31:01,376 Let the awards ceremony begin! 549 00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:05,546 The first award proves how far a person will go to run from their past... 550 00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:07,555 literally! 551 00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:09,750 The winner of the traveled furthest award- 552 00:31:09,860 --> 00:31:12,385 - So, did you defy the chicken? - Uh-huh. 553 00:31:12,496 --> 00:31:15,727 - How'd that work out for ya? - I think I may have killed a man. 554 00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:18,096 Oh. So, not as well as we'd hoped then. 555 00:31:18,201 --> 00:31:21,170 I need to start expecting it like my family does. 556 00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:25,900 Even when I try to help, it's a disaster. 557 00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:28,341 I need a drink. 558 00:31:28,445 --> 00:31:31,175 - Something "froofy. " - "Froofy"? 559 00:31:31,281 --> 00:31:34,114 Anything that'll leave a good stain. 560 00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:39,620 I'm done fighting. 561 00:31:39,723 --> 00:31:42,692 From now on I'm fate's bitch. 562 00:31:42,792 --> 00:31:45,761 Thanks. 563 00:31:47,731 --> 00:31:51,724 The next award goes to the person with the best fashion sense. 564 00:31:51,835 --> 00:31:53,803 And the winner is... Karen Tyler! 565 00:31:53,904 --> 00:31:55,997 - Oh. - Where are you, Mrs. T.? 566 00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:00,036 Whoo! 567 00:32:00,143 --> 00:32:02,111 I destroy you. 568 00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,861 Congratulations. 569 00:32:31,675 --> 00:32:34,235 Did you hear something? 570 00:32:34,344 --> 00:32:36,312 A shuffling? 571 00:32:40,784 --> 00:32:42,843 I don't hear anything. 572 00:32:42,953 --> 00:32:45,854 Look, maybe this wasn't such a great idea. 573 00:32:45,956 --> 00:32:49,050 I mean, your parents' house. You're tense enough about them as it is. 574 00:32:49,159 --> 00:32:51,059 Tense? I'm not tense. 575 00:32:51,161 --> 00:32:53,891 I am so far from tense, I'm past tense. 576 00:32:53,997 --> 00:32:57,865 It's okay if this is stressful for you, you know. It is for me too. 577 00:32:57,968 --> 00:33:00,835 - It is? - Yeah. This isn't easy for me. 578 00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:04,703 Up until quite recently, I was married and living with a man. 579 00:33:06,309 --> 00:33:08,209 Of course. 580 00:33:08,311 --> 00:33:10,211 You're right. I'm sorry. 581 00:33:10,313 --> 00:33:13,214 I can relax. I promise. 582 00:33:13,316 --> 00:33:16,217 I can only imagine how much more stressful it would be... 583 00:33:16,319 --> 00:33:18,287 if I were actually gay. 584 00:33:20,657 --> 00:33:22,625 Aren't you? 585 00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:26,721 Not exclusively. 586 00:33:27,831 --> 00:33:29,355 I like men. 587 00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:32,663 - I'm not a man. - Yeah, I noticed. 588 00:33:32,769 --> 00:33:37,297 Like, pretty specifically noticed. 589 00:33:40,577 --> 00:33:42,772 Is this gonna be an issue? 590 00:33:42,879 --> 00:33:45,780 What? No, it's not an issue. It's a full subscription. 591 00:33:45,882 --> 00:33:47,850 No- 592 00:33:51,321 --> 00:33:53,221 You have... 593 00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:55,621 been with a woman before. 594 00:33:55,725 --> 00:33:59,889 - Yeah. I was in a sorority. - So was I! I never got any! 595 00:34:01,064 --> 00:34:02,895 Have you ever had sex with a man? 596 00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:05,968 Sex with a- God, no. No! 597 00:34:06,069 --> 00:34:08,230 - Does it bother you? - That I never had sex- 598 00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:10,636 That I did? 599 00:34:12,709 --> 00:34:15,837 - Will you again? - I don't know. 600 00:34:15,945 --> 00:34:17,913 You tell me. 601 00:34:19,316 --> 00:34:22,513 Oh, God! 602 00:34:29,526 --> 00:34:32,188 His toes weren't blue, were they? 603 00:34:38,068 --> 00:34:40,036 Mom? 604 00:34:41,571 --> 00:34:43,596 Sweetheart? 605 00:34:43,707 --> 00:34:47,143 - I guess you're pretty mad at me, huh? - Oh, don't be ridiculous. 606 00:34:47,243 --> 00:34:50,144 I ruined your moment. I'm sorry. 607 00:34:51,848 --> 00:34:54,339 This night is not about me, dear. 608 00:34:54,451 --> 00:34:57,181 And I think I understand... 609 00:34:57,287 --> 00:34:59,187 why you did what you did. 610 00:34:59,289 --> 00:35:01,849 - You do? - It's my fault. 611 00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:05,724 I somehow gave you the impression that I wanted a daughter like Gretchen Speck. 612 00:35:05,829 --> 00:35:09,390 - Uh- - Confident, motivated, blonde. 613 00:35:09,499 --> 00:35:11,057 You just described Sharon. 614 00:35:11,167 --> 00:35:14,568 - Well-married. - Okay, so, not Sharon. 615 00:35:14,671 --> 00:35:17,697 - But that girl's miserable. - Sharon? 616 00:35:17,807 --> 00:35:19,707 Gretchen. 617 00:35:19,809 --> 00:35:23,301 She's trapped in her perfect life, and that's not something I want for you. 618 00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:25,313 I wouldn't worry about that. 619 00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:27,474 But I do worry. 620 00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:30,382 But that's just me being a mother. 621 00:35:30,487 --> 00:35:32,751 And as your mother... 622 00:35:32,856 --> 00:35:35,381 I don't care what those people think of you now... 623 00:35:35,492 --> 00:35:38,393 because in my heart you will always be head cheerleader. 624 00:35:38,495 --> 00:35:40,725 Oh. 625 00:35:40,830 --> 00:35:43,321 You're looking for the back door, aren't you? 626 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:46,925 - Is there one? - Right over there. 627 00:35:47,036 --> 00:35:49,266 Thanks. 628 00:35:51,941 --> 00:35:52,173 It was all a trick... 629 00:35:52,208 --> 00:35:54,005 It was all a trick... 630 00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:58,012 worming your way into my decorating committee. 631 00:35:58,114 --> 00:36:00,605 You will rue the day, Jaye Tyler! 632 00:36:00,717 --> 00:36:03,242 I will get you back so hard! 633 00:36:03,353 --> 00:36:05,878 Having a good time? 634 00:36:05,989 --> 00:36:08,048 What? No! 635 00:36:08,158 --> 00:36:10,092 Look at me. My makeup's ruined. 636 00:36:10,193 --> 00:36:14,220 My dress is covered in some... rum-based fruit drink. 637 00:36:14,330 --> 00:36:16,230 Mai Tai. 638 00:36:16,332 --> 00:36:18,300 Might you what? 639 00:36:18,401 --> 00:36:20,835 No, no. I think it was a Mai Tai. 640 00:36:20,937 --> 00:36:24,236 Oh. Well, whatever it is, Jaye Tyler owes me a new dress. 641 00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:26,240 Then I guess I owe her. 642 00:36:26,342 --> 00:36:29,243 I've been trying to talk to you all night... 643 00:36:29,345 --> 00:36:32,803 but I haven't been able to get you alone long enough, until she did this. 644 00:36:32,916 --> 00:36:35,146 Well, nice to meet you. 645 00:36:35,251 --> 00:36:37,151 But one, you're in the ladies' room... 646 00:36:37,253 --> 00:36:40,222 and two, this dress is beyond ruined. 647 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:44,054 Doesn't matter. You're still the most beautiful woman here. 648 00:36:45,762 --> 00:36:47,662 That's so sweet. 649 00:36:47,764 --> 00:36:49,664 Who are you? 650 00:36:49,766 --> 00:36:51,324 Chuck Aronson. 651 00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:54,569 Did we have any classes together? 652 00:36:54,671 --> 00:36:56,298 I was in all your classes. 653 00:36:56,406 --> 00:36:59,569 Senior year I rearranged my schedule so I could be near you. 654 00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:02,975 Oh, wow! That's so creepy. 655 00:37:03,079 --> 00:37:06,242 I know. I'm sorry. I don't want it to be creepy. 656 00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:08,249 I know that it is. 657 00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:10,319 It's just, uh... 658 00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:13,322 I love you. 659 00:37:13,423 --> 00:37:16,654 I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. 660 00:37:16,759 --> 00:37:20,422 I've been thinking about you for the last six and a half years. 661 00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:22,828 So flattering... 662 00:37:22,932 --> 00:37:25,594 yet somehow not less creepy. 663 00:37:27,437 --> 00:37:29,337 I've tried everything. 664 00:37:29,439 --> 00:37:31,339 I started dating other women. 665 00:37:31,441 --> 00:37:33,568 I joined the military. 666 00:37:33,676 --> 00:37:38,545 I thought if I went deeper into my own spiritual journey through meditation- 667 00:37:38,648 --> 00:37:40,809 But I can't shake you from my thoughts. 668 00:37:40,917 --> 00:37:42,817 Wow. 669 00:37:42,919 --> 00:37:44,819 You're like obsessed. 670 00:37:44,921 --> 00:37:48,186 It's been a long time since someone's been obsessed with me. 671 00:37:48,324 --> 00:37:49,848 What about your husband? 672 00:37:49,959 --> 00:37:52,860 Oh. Robert's not the type. 673 00:37:52,962 --> 00:37:56,090 I mean, he's great if I was gonna make a list of things I wanted in a husband. 674 00:37:56,199 --> 00:37:59,862 Which I did, actually. Well, Robert is that list. 675 00:37:59,969 --> 00:38:02,130 So, he's the man of your dreams. 676 00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:05,571 - He's the man on my list. - Do you love him? 677 00:38:09,746 --> 00:38:11,714 I'm sorry. What did you say? 678 00:38:12,815 --> 00:38:14,680 Do you love him? 679 00:38:17,654 --> 00:38:20,122 No. I don't. 680 00:38:23,293 --> 00:38:25,193 I don't love my husband! 681 00:38:25,295 --> 00:38:27,695 Did I ever? 682 00:38:27,797 --> 00:38:30,595 I mean, I converted for him. 683 00:38:30,700 --> 00:38:34,227 That's a lot of work. There's like tests and stuff! 684 00:38:34,337 --> 00:38:36,862 Why would I do that for a man I didn't even love? 685 00:38:36,973 --> 00:38:41,501 I guess I was so busy worrying that Robert didn't love me... 686 00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:45,377 I never once considered whether or not I loved him! 687 00:38:45,481 --> 00:38:47,381 Poor Robert! 688 00:38:47,483 --> 00:38:49,451 And lucky me. 689 00:38:51,354 --> 00:38:53,254 Are you feeling the connection here? 690 00:38:53,356 --> 00:38:56,257 No connection. 691 00:38:56,359 --> 00:38:59,419 There's Mace, but there's no connection. 692 00:39:08,037 --> 00:39:10,267 I don't know what you've become. 693 00:39:10,373 --> 00:39:13,274 Fist of fate, thy name is Janet. Remember that? 694 00:39:13,376 --> 00:39:17,210 Janet was just venting. You've been channeling Tonya Harding. 695 00:39:19,515 --> 00:39:22,541 So, you ever plan on coming out of here? 696 00:39:23,586 --> 00:39:25,713 - I haven't decided yet. - Mmm. 697 00:39:25,822 --> 00:39:28,950 Well, word is you're about to be voted Most Spiteful. 698 00:39:30,126 --> 00:39:32,094 They can't add a category! 699 00:39:33,429 --> 00:39:35,329 Great. 700 00:39:35,431 --> 00:39:37,831 And you're mad at me too. 701 00:39:37,934 --> 00:39:40,835 You made me feel sorry for Gretchen Speck. 702 00:39:40,937 --> 00:39:43,405 And I'm not sure I can forgive you for that. 703 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:47,408 Jaye Tyler! 704 00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:49,410 Jaye Tyler! 705 00:39:49,512 --> 00:39:51,639 She's calling you out. 706 00:39:59,555 --> 00:40:01,853 There you are. Good. 707 00:40:01,958 --> 00:40:04,791 There's something I wanted to say to you before I leave this place... 708 00:40:04,894 --> 00:40:06,794 and that's... 709 00:40:06,896 --> 00:40:08,864 thank you, Jaye Tyler. 710 00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:13,363 - Thank you for being you. - Is she gonna sing? 711 00:40:13,469 --> 00:40:15,767 It's because of who you are... 712 00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:20,536 because of all the little things that make up the fundamental core of your character- 713 00:40:20,643 --> 00:40:23,806 the petty jealousies, the lying... 714 00:40:23,913 --> 00:40:26,040 the general negative behavior. 715 00:40:26,149 --> 00:40:30,347 Because of all that, I've learned a little something about myself tonight. 716 00:40:35,425 --> 00:40:38,360 I'm bigger than you. 717 00:40:38,461 --> 00:40:41,862 And I'll always be bigger. 718 00:40:41,964 --> 00:40:47,027 Any of you holding Speck-Horowitz couples cards, toss 'em. 719 00:40:47,136 --> 00:40:49,434 They no longer apply. 720 00:40:49,539 --> 00:40:51,439 I'm losin' the hyphen... 721 00:40:51,541 --> 00:40:53,441 and keepin' the ring. 722 00:40:53,543 --> 00:40:55,568 Whoo! Yeah! 723 00:40:55,678 --> 00:40:58,078 What a bitch. 724 00:40:58,181 --> 00:41:00,615 Is it wrong that I like her now? 725 00:41:00,717 --> 00:41:03,550 I think she just walked out of here a free woman. 726 00:41:03,653 --> 00:41:06,747 Feel kinda sorry for her husband though. 727 00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:10,650 Let's just hope he's dead. 728 00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:16,755 Ow. Ow. 729 00:41:16,866 --> 00:41:18,766 Ow. 730 00:41:18,868 --> 00:41:22,326 - So, this your vehicle? - What's left of it, yeah. 731 00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:25,703 You wouldn't have a cell phone, would you? I can't get ahold of... 732 00:41:28,544 --> 00:41:30,341 my wife. 733 00:41:59,075 --> 00:42:01,100 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 734 00:42:01,210 --> 00:42:03,235 Simple follow-up. Needed a ride. 735 00:42:03,346 --> 00:42:06,247 You needed a ride, and you called me? 736 00:42:06,349 --> 00:42:09,250 Of course. You owe me breakfast. 737 00:42:09,352 --> 00:42:11,252 - You said it was urgent. - It is! 738 00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:14,255 They stop serving in 20 minutes. 739 00:42:14,357 --> 00:42:18,088 - So, I hear you went to your reunion. - You talked to Mom? 740 00:42:18,194 --> 00:42:20,719 Yeah, well, we sleep together. 741 00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:22,730 Thank you. 742 00:42:22,832 --> 00:42:24,959 Listen, I'm, uh- 743 00:42:25,067 --> 00:42:27,968 I'm sorry if you felt pressured to go because of me. 744 00:42:28,070 --> 00:42:29,935 Oh, please. 745 00:42:30,039 --> 00:42:31,904 I forgive you. 746 00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:37,471 So, you had no fun at all? 747 00:42:37,580 --> 00:42:40,447 I think it's fair to say you had more fun when I ran you over. 748 00:42:40,550 --> 00:42:42,313 But I'm glad I went. 749 00:42:43,452 --> 00:42:46,444 Well, I'm glad you ran me over. 750 00:42:46,556 --> 00:42:50,856 - Ha ha. - No, I'm serious. You're my good luck charm. 751 00:42:53,596 --> 00:42:56,531 You know those pointless, routine tests that they held me for? 752 00:42:57,834 --> 00:43:00,928 They found a blood clot in my leg, deep in a vein. 753 00:43:01,037 --> 00:43:04,438 It could have killed me. Thanks to you, they found it in time. 754 00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:10,311 But you're gonna be okay? 755 00:43:10,413 --> 00:43:12,313 I'm great. 756 00:43:12,415 --> 00:43:14,713 I'm going to breakfast with my daughter. 757 00:43:19,956 --> 00:43:21,924 Use your mirrors. 758 00:43:24,427 --> 00:43:28,261 Say, did you know our basic cable comes with lesbian porn? 759 00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:05,332 Get the ball, Bud.