1 00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,429 - Previously, on Wonderfalls. - My crappy life? 2 00:00:05,534 --> 00:00:07,695 Well-meaning, but let's just say it, overbearing parents. 3 00:00:07,803 --> 00:00:09,998 - Mom. - You're going to my reunion. 4 00:00:10,105 --> 00:00:12,005 Of course you are. Why wouldn't you? 5 00:00:12,107 --> 00:00:15,599 - Disapproving sister. - You tell people we're not related. 6 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:18,737 - It was just that one time! - A brother who lives at home... 7 00:00:18,847 --> 00:00:22,374 but is still considered more successful than I am. 8 00:00:23,685 --> 00:00:26,245 Hey. Get off your ass. 9 00:00:26,355 --> 00:00:28,789 You just... shut up! 10 00:00:42,571 --> 00:00:45,438 I'll give you 50 bucks if you let me smoke in here. 11 00:00:47,209 --> 00:00:50,201 It's a $100 fine. 12 00:00:55,684 --> 00:00:58,710 Your sister- ever do anything like this before? 13 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:02,950 This is her fourth arrest. Three prior for disorderly conduct. 14 00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,219 Mm-hmm. 15 00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:08,592 - I see she likes to hit people. - She's scrappy. 16 00:01:08,697 --> 00:01:12,656 These scrappy types commonly keep people in their trunks? 17 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,669 I admit, that's odd. 18 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,907 Hello? 19 00:01:21,009 --> 00:01:26,003 I'm not sure how this precinct interrogates people, but generally, it's Q&A. 20 00:01:27,115 --> 00:01:30,016 Does anybody want to talk to me? 21 00:01:30,118 --> 00:01:32,018 Hey, doll. 22 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,146 - I'll talk to you. - Oh, please don't! 23 00:01:35,257 --> 00:01:40,661 If I go to jail, I'll rat your ass out faster than you can say, "Boo. " 24 00:01:40,762 --> 00:01:44,459 - They'll think you're crazy. - I don't care. I'm telling them. 25 00:01:44,566 --> 00:01:45,624 - Then do it. - I will. 26 00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,258 - Fine. - Fine! 27 00:01:47,369 --> 00:01:50,429 Hello, Jaye. I'm Officer Hale. 28 00:01:50,539 --> 00:01:53,133 - Hi. - Go ahead, tell her. 29 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:55,209 Got yourself into some trouble. 30 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,642 Yeah. 31 00:01:57,746 --> 00:02:02,308 - Again. - Yeah. 32 00:02:02,417 --> 00:02:06,012 - Help me help you. - What? 33 00:02:06,121 --> 00:02:08,282 I want to help you. Tell me how to do it. 34 00:02:09,391 --> 00:02:12,360 Uh, release me? 35 00:02:12,461 --> 00:02:14,361 And do you think that's funny? 36 00:02:17,366 --> 00:02:22,668 I wasn't speaking rhetorically. I said, "Do you think that's funny?" 37 00:02:22,771 --> 00:02:25,399 - No. - You broke the law, bitch. 38 00:02:25,507 --> 00:02:28,567 And you presume to come in here and waste my time by being funny? Who the f- 39 00:02:39,988 --> 00:02:44,254 Because I can arrange to kick your ass! 40 00:02:48,363 --> 00:02:50,923 Now, I didn't like that any more than you did. 41 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:55,126 I don't enjoy raising my voice to people. 42 00:02:55,237 --> 00:02:59,105 I enjoy respecting people. 43 00:02:59,207 --> 00:03:03,576 I enjoy communicating with people. 44 00:03:03,678 --> 00:03:06,203 We gonna be able to communicate, Jaye? 45 00:03:06,314 --> 00:03:08,839 - Yes. - Good. 46 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:11,714 That makes me happy. 47 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,618 - You don't have anything to hide, do you? - Nuh-uh. 48 00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,623 And you don't feel you need a lawyer or- 49 00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:19,285 - Uh- - Good! So let's communicate. 50 00:03:19,394 --> 00:03:23,262 Tell me about the last time you saw your family's housekeeper. 51 00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:25,959 Before she turned up in your trunk. 52 00:04:32,834 --> 00:04:35,701 You might want to hold that at the bottom. 53 00:04:37,038 --> 00:04:38,938 There's no reason for you to be talking. 54 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,338 So shut your little mouth. Just shut it! 55 00:04:42,911 --> 00:04:45,937 Only trying to help. 56 00:04:46,047 --> 00:04:49,141 - Hi. - Hello. 57 00:04:49,251 --> 00:04:51,879 Sorry, I'm- I'm P.M.S.-ing. 58 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,955 That'll do it. 59 00:05:01,263 --> 00:05:04,323 Jaye! Wait a minute! Hold the door! Hold the door! 60 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:07,333 - Good morning, sweetheart. - Hi. 61 00:05:07,435 --> 00:05:09,335 - Bonjour. - Bonjour, Yvette. 62 00:05:09,437 --> 00:05:12,065 - Sit, I make you a pancake. - They're very good. She put figs in the batter. 63 00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:15,040 No thanks. Wish I could, but here's my laundry. 64 00:05:15,143 --> 00:05:17,043 Oh, sit down and have some breakfast. 65 00:05:17,145 --> 00:05:20,410 - I can't. - Always in such a rush. Never stay more than five minutes. 66 00:05:20,515 --> 00:05:24,576 I'm beginning to think you're trying to avoid spending time with your family. 67 00:05:24,686 --> 00:05:26,950 Uh, no. I just don't want to be late for work. That's it. 68 00:05:27,055 --> 00:05:28,955 The store doesn't open for another hour. 69 00:05:29,057 --> 00:05:31,958 I admire your work ethic. 70 00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:34,551 That boy who runs things? What's his name? 71 00:05:34,663 --> 00:05:38,258 - Mouth-breather? - Well, he said there's room for improvement... 72 00:05:38,366 --> 00:05:41,301 but he's generally been very happy with your performance. 73 00:05:41,403 --> 00:05:44,736 Why are you talking to the mouth-breather about my performance? 74 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,000 I called you at work. He answered the phone. 75 00:05:47,108 --> 00:05:51,044 - Seemed rude not to have a conversation. - Of course it did. 76 00:05:51,146 --> 00:05:55,173 Sweetheart, Dr. Ron asked about you the other day. You really should go back and see him. 77 00:05:55,283 --> 00:05:57,581 Avoiding your little stress issue won't make it go away. 78 00:05:57,686 --> 00:05:59,586 It will, if we stop talking about it. 79 00:05:59,688 --> 00:06:01,588 Chérie, you look too pale. Have a pancake. 80 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,954 - I don't want a pancake. - Moo! 81 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,392 Have a pancake. 82 00:06:07,495 --> 00:06:10,259 I don't want a pancake. 83 00:06:10,365 --> 00:06:14,734 - Then have some fruit. - Just file the motion. I will call you back. 84 00:06:14,836 --> 00:06:16,736 - Mother? A word? - Aren't you supposed to be in court? 85 00:06:16,838 --> 00:06:20,001 Yes, but now I'm here. A word! 86 00:06:22,944 --> 00:06:26,038 - Thank you for breakfast, Yvette. - Oh, you're welcome, Mr. Tyler. 87 00:06:26,147 --> 00:06:30,379 - I hope one day you can join us, sweetheart. - I don't want a pancake. 88 00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:34,546 I don't want a pancake. I don't want a pancake. 89 00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:36,590 I don't want a pancake! 90 00:06:36,691 --> 00:06:38,591 Yvette, can you make me a pancake? 91 00:06:38,693 --> 00:06:41,958 I'll make sure yours gets lots of figs in it. 92 00:06:42,063 --> 00:06:44,998 Were you just talking to the cow creamer? 93 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,568 No. 94 00:06:47,669 --> 00:06:49,398 'Cause it looked like you were. 95 00:06:49,504 --> 00:06:52,302 - Well, I wasn't. - Mm-hmm. 96 00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:55,274 - My God, how could you let this happen? - It's not my fault. 97 00:06:55,377 --> 00:06:58,904 - Oh, my God! - Yvette, stop what you're doing. 98 00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:02,347 You need to go with Sharon now. Her toilet's flooded. It's an emergency. 99 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,850 By emergency, do you mean there's poop everywhere? 100 00:07:04,953 --> 00:07:07,251 Yes, Aaron. There's poop everywhere. Come on, let's go! 101 00:07:07,355 --> 00:07:10,916 - I've only just poured the batter. - I'm supposed to have a pancake. 102 00:07:11,026 --> 00:07:13,790 She should eat. You worry about her being thin. 103 00:07:13,895 --> 00:07:16,022 - Does she have time for a pancake? - No! 104 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,428 No time for a pancake, sweetheart. 105 00:07:20,435 --> 00:07:22,460 Good morning, sir. I'm Officer Donikian. 106 00:07:22,570 --> 00:07:25,664 - I'm with the B.C.I.S. - Oh! You must be looking for Sharon. 107 00:07:25,774 --> 00:07:29,175 She's in the kitchen. Go right on in. I'm late for a colecystectomy. 108 00:07:30,478 --> 00:07:33,345 Not mine. Somebody else's. 109 00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:35,780 Keep up the good work. 110 00:07:37,986 --> 00:07:41,114 Just let her have a pancake. The poop's not goin' anywhere. 111 00:07:41,222 --> 00:07:43,122 Now, Yvette! We have to go now! 112 00:07:43,224 --> 00:07:47,092 - It's almost finished! Look, bubbles. - Yeah. Mother, why? 113 00:07:47,195 --> 00:07:49,459 Morning. I'm Officer Donikian. 114 00:07:49,564 --> 00:07:52,032 This is Officer Arnold. We're with the B.C.I.S. 115 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:56,126 - Who? - The Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services. 116 00:07:56,237 --> 00:07:57,864 - Who? - The I.N.S. 117 00:07:57,972 --> 00:08:01,032 - Oh. - We're looking for Yvette LaJimodiere. 118 00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:03,133 - She's not here. - I'm Yvette LaJimodiere. 119 00:08:03,244 --> 00:08:06,839 Ms. LaJimodiere, we have a warrant for your deportation. 120 00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:18,985 I was hopin' this was one of those odorless, cocaine cows. 121 00:08:19,094 --> 00:08:21,062 I've never seen one of them before. 122 00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:24,098 - Sorry. - So. 123 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:28,067 - What's with the cow? - I like cows. 124 00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:31,161 They're docile, and keep to themselves. 125 00:08:33,942 --> 00:08:37,105 - Most of the time. - Mm-hmm. 126 00:08:38,146 --> 00:08:41,343 Any reason you're fond of this particular cow? 127 00:08:41,449 --> 00:08:44,111 My sister sort of responded to it. 128 00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:48,088 She doesn't... respond to other cows? 129 00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:50,282 Not like this. 130 00:08:51,893 --> 00:08:53,884 Ew. Get it off! 131 00:08:53,995 --> 00:08:56,555 Is this triggering recovered memories or somethin'? 132 00:08:57,832 --> 00:09:00,232 No. No! It's just it's- 133 00:09:00,335 --> 00:09:04,601 It's dirty. And there are already too many things here with faces. 134 00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:07,798 You're bein' weird. Why are you bein' weird? 135 00:09:07,909 --> 00:09:10,070 Are your pupils dilated? 136 00:09:10,178 --> 00:09:14,114 I expect the entitled invasion of privacy from Mom and Dad and what's-her-name... 137 00:09:14,215 --> 00:09:16,240 but not from you. 138 00:09:16,351 --> 00:09:19,115 This is not an isolated incident. The last time you were at the house... 139 00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:22,712 you got mad at those little pig-shaped salt-and-pepper shakers. 140 00:09:22,824 --> 00:09:26,851 Is this about farm animals, or is it about condiments? 141 00:09:26,961 --> 00:09:29,225 - Lay off the pipe. - No, no, no. 142 00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:34,324 Strange men come into our house, like those homosexuals who do makeovers, and just- 143 00:09:34,435 --> 00:09:36,596 Just took Yvette. They took her. 144 00:09:36,704 --> 00:09:40,800 - And you didn't even blink! - I blinked. I blinked plenty! 145 00:09:40,909 --> 00:09:44,208 I'm sad Yvette got deported. She cooked and did things. 146 00:09:44,312 --> 00:09:48,908 - She practically raised us. - I said I was sad. I'm gonna miss her. 147 00:09:49,017 --> 00:09:52,180 - I miss her already. - Moo. 148 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:56,690 - Bring her home. - You're doin' it again. 149 00:09:56,791 --> 00:10:00,591 No, I'm not. I mean, doing what? 150 00:10:00,695 --> 00:10:04,859 Bring her home. Bring her home. Bring her home. Bring her home. 151 00:10:04,966 --> 00:10:06,866 - I'm just gonna put that in the bag. - Bring her home. 152 00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:11,098 - Why? Is it talking to you? - Would you listen to yourself? 153 00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:14,607 - Bring her home. Bring her home! - So! 154 00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,802 - What are you gonna do? - What do you mean, what am I gonna do? 155 00:10:16,911 --> 00:10:19,641 Well, you have to bring Yvette home. She practically raised us. 156 00:10:19,747 --> 00:10:23,148 - You should do something. - Bring her home. 157 00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:25,185 Hey, why don't you talk to Sharon? 158 00:10:25,286 --> 00:10:28,881 She's an immigration attorney, for God's sakes. She might surprise us all and be useful. 159 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:32,187 Come on! Who do you think got Yvette deported? 160 00:10:32,293 --> 00:10:34,055 What? 161 00:10:34,162 --> 00:10:36,528 We have sent a message to our illegal population... 162 00:10:36,631 --> 00:10:39,156 that our immigration laws cannot be ignored. 163 00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:42,464 However, I assure you that no one's rights have been violated. 164 00:10:44,572 --> 00:10:48,338 I'd just like to add that the United States has a generous program... 165 00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:53,608 for legal immigration, to which all aspiring Americans are welcome to avail themselves. 166 00:10:55,016 --> 00:10:58,213 You're a horrible, horrible person. 167 00:10:58,319 --> 00:11:00,287 Yvette practically raised you. 168 00:11:00,388 --> 00:11:03,255 I didn't even know she was illegal till this morning. 169 00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:07,385 She's been living here on an expired visa since 1982. 170 00:11:09,464 --> 00:11:12,627 That's the summer she took me to see E. T. and told me I had boobs. 171 00:11:12,734 --> 00:11:16,670 You must be kickin' yourself. You could have got her deported a long time ago. 172 00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:19,399 I could have gotten her citizenship, you ass! 173 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:24,170 This is not my fault. It's not like I reported her. 174 00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:27,339 - She was on a list. - So it's her fault she lied and got caught. 175 00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:29,678 If we're being brutally honest, then yes. 176 00:11:29,784 --> 00:11:31,752 - Hi. - Hi. 177 00:11:31,853 --> 00:11:34,447 They deported two busboys and a dishwasher. 178 00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:36,887 They took our housekeeper. Did you meet my sister, Sharon? 179 00:11:36,991 --> 00:11:39,221 - This is all her fault. - Nice to meet you. 180 00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:41,727 I saw you on the news. 181 00:11:41,829 --> 00:11:45,060 You're a horrible person. 182 00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:48,192 - Oh, and, uh, thanks. - You're welcome. 183 00:11:48,303 --> 00:11:51,864 - See? Everybody blames you. - So strange. Because I blame you. 184 00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:53,804 Is that a fact? 185 00:11:53,908 --> 00:11:59,073 You needed to have that pancake? Was it worth it? Was it the best pancake ever? 186 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:02,616 - I hope so. - This is not about breakfast food. 187 00:12:02,717 --> 00:12:06,551 It is about breakfast food. I was trying to get Yvette out of the house... 188 00:12:06,654 --> 00:12:08,918 but you had to have that pancake! 189 00:12:09,023 --> 00:12:11,958 Yeah, you were really weird with that whole pancake thing. 190 00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:15,928 Can't you just fix it? You know, like before they ship her off to Mexico or whatever? 191 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,225 I tried. She's gone. 192 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:21,894 They are putting her on a bus. They are kicking her out of the country. 193 00:12:22,003 --> 00:12:25,200 - And they are not letting her back. - Crap. 194 00:12:25,306 --> 00:12:27,274 It was the pancake. 195 00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:29,605 Stupid cow. 196 00:12:29,711 --> 00:12:31,679 Selfish bitch. 197 00:12:32,814 --> 00:12:36,272 I love them. I do. 198 00:12:36,384 --> 00:12:38,614 But they can be mean-spirited. 199 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,781 I wouldn't say they were mean people, but they can be mean-spirited. 200 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:45,450 They used to ignore me for hours. 201 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,653 Wh-When we were much younger. 202 00:12:47,762 --> 00:12:51,357 If they did that to me now, I'd- I'd leave the room. 203 00:12:54,068 --> 00:12:57,970 You think the way this went- what it evolved into- 204 00:12:58,072 --> 00:12:59,972 might have been a personal attack on you? 205 00:13:00,074 --> 00:13:02,474 No. 206 00:13:02,577 --> 00:13:05,910 God, no. The thing I've learned about Aaron and Jaye... 207 00:13:06,014 --> 00:13:10,383 is that it's- it's never about me. 208 00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:14,216 - Ever. - It's like I'm listenin' to my own life story. 209 00:13:14,322 --> 00:13:17,291 - I got a couple of sisters- - Except right now. 210 00:13:17,392 --> 00:13:19,917 Right now, it is about me. 211 00:13:20,028 --> 00:13:23,225 I did everything in my power, short of breaking the law... 212 00:13:23,331 --> 00:13:25,561 to keep Yvette in this country. 213 00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:28,294 - That fine's not per cigarette, is it? - Nah. 214 00:13:28,403 --> 00:13:30,963 You know, I put my ass on the line. 215 00:13:31,072 --> 00:13:33,063 And that wasn't good enough for them. 216 00:13:33,174 --> 00:13:35,506 No, Mike. It wasn't. 217 00:13:36,677 --> 00:13:39,874 And now, she's in some serious trouble. 218 00:13:39,981 --> 00:13:42,950 Yeah. Real serious. 219 00:13:43,051 --> 00:13:45,679 She could go down for this. 220 00:13:45,787 --> 00:13:47,880 How far down? 221 00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:02,028 This is a mistake! You were at the naturalization ceremony... 222 00:14:02,136 --> 00:14:04,161 when Yvette took the Pledge of Allegiance. 223 00:14:04,272 --> 00:14:06,502 She's as American as any of us! 224 00:14:06,607 --> 00:14:11,408 There was no naturalization ceremony. She failed that little U.S.A. test three times. 225 00:14:11,512 --> 00:14:14,675 - What are you talking about? - She's not American. She's French-Canadian. 226 00:14:14,782 --> 00:14:16,773 At least, that's the same continent. 227 00:14:16,884 --> 00:14:19,910 - And how long have you known this? - A while. 228 00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:21,921 Since we hired her. 229 00:14:22,023 --> 00:14:25,015 So you've been lying to your entire family about this for 20 years? 230 00:14:25,126 --> 00:14:27,424 I haven't been lying the whole time. There was that initial lie... 231 00:14:27,528 --> 00:14:29,792 and then I never bothered to tell you the truth- I am not proud of it. 232 00:14:29,897 --> 00:14:32,195 I knew she should have gone to that citizenship class. 233 00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:35,792 I couldn't have her in school all day. There were things that needed to be done. 234 00:14:35,903 --> 00:14:39,031 - I'm just sick about this. - Well, how do you think I feel? 235 00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:41,734 - Like a liar, I would imagine. - This is why... 236 00:14:41,843 --> 00:14:44,311 I was afraid to tell you- I knew you'd be upset. 237 00:14:44,412 --> 00:14:47,540 Do you know how embarrassing this is for Sharon? 238 00:14:47,648 --> 00:14:49,809 She looks like an ass. 239 00:14:49,917 --> 00:14:52,943 I look like an ass. I play golf with politicians... 240 00:14:53,054 --> 00:14:56,319 who feel very strongly about this issue. 241 00:14:56,424 --> 00:15:00,622 - We employed an illegal alien! - Oh, don't be such a drama queen. 242 00:15:00,728 --> 00:15:03,060 - Can't you just make a phone call? - No! 243 00:15:03,164 --> 00:15:07,760 No, I can't just make a phone call. This is not some victimless crime. 244 00:15:07,869 --> 00:15:10,360 The money you've been paying to Yvette could have gone... 245 00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:14,567 to an American minority worker or someone who doesn't have a high school diploma. 246 00:15:14,675 --> 00:15:17,405 But we didn't like those minority workers. We liked Yvette. 247 00:15:17,512 --> 00:15:21,278 - She's the one that we invited into our home. - And then told her to clean it. 248 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,945 Sorry. 249 00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:29,648 It's just very, very sad. I am very sad. 250 00:15:32,093 --> 00:15:34,118 Sharon, go talk to your father. You're his favorite. 251 00:15:37,732 --> 00:15:40,895 - I thought I was his favorite. - We don't have favorites. 252 00:15:41,002 --> 00:15:43,334 Can't we just go get her and smuggle her back? 253 00:15:43,437 --> 00:15:45,337 It is only Canada. 254 00:15:45,439 --> 00:15:47,339 Your father would have an aneurysm. 255 00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:50,774 So we just stick her in a storage unit, with a mini-fridge... 256 00:15:50,878 --> 00:15:52,778 and a Porto-potty, until he cools off. 257 00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:57,951 Or a hotel. The important thing is we bring her home. 258 00:15:58,052 --> 00:16:01,510 That's what we need to do. That's our goal. 259 00:16:01,622 --> 00:16:03,783 I realize that, sweetheart, but- 260 00:16:06,327 --> 00:16:08,557 I'll give you all the cash I have in my purse. 261 00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:13,222 He's very upset. 262 00:16:13,334 --> 00:16:16,360 - I'm making tea. - Let me help you. 263 00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:20,804 So, that bus Yvette is on. Where do you suppose that's going? 264 00:16:30,017 --> 00:16:32,611 I remember one time Yvette saying she was from Canada... 265 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,620 but I sort of stopped listening after that. 266 00:16:34,722 --> 00:16:40,558 I guess she was really poor, and, uh, lived very much "like my little chérie, Miss Jaye. " 267 00:16:40,661 --> 00:16:42,925 Stop it. She did not say that. 268 00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:47,433 You know she did. She was an only child, and had no friends... 269 00:16:47,535 --> 00:16:50,993 and when she was 16, a baby Jesus ornament ignited the Christmas tree... 270 00:16:51,105 --> 00:16:53,005 and burned the entire house down. 271 00:16:53,107 --> 00:16:55,007 Her parents died in the fire. 272 00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:59,443 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Why does everything have to be so dramatic? 273 00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:02,072 I know. Right? 274 00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:05,914 - I'll get it. - Can you imagine if the baby Jesus killed Mom and Dad? 275 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:09,080 - God, that'd suck. - Yeah. 276 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:12,887 I'd be devastated. My life would never be the same. 277 00:17:12,994 --> 00:17:16,020 - Yeah. - And you know Sharon's gonna throw herself on Dad's coffin... 278 00:17:16,130 --> 00:17:18,530 - when it goes into the ground. - Yep. 279 00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:22,028 You know, somehow, I don't think the folks' dying... 280 00:17:22,136 --> 00:17:24,468 is gonna have that big an impact on your life. 281 00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,905 - What? - You're not gonna be throwin' yourself on anyone's coffin. 282 00:17:28,009 --> 00:17:30,705 - That doesn't make me a bad person. - Not at all. 283 00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:34,474 But you are insulated. You wear your trailer park, hillbilly lifestyle... 284 00:17:34,582 --> 00:17:36,675 around your neck like a ring of garlic. 285 00:17:36,784 --> 00:17:38,911 Are you trying to ward us off? 286 00:17:40,855 --> 00:17:43,449 Mom and Dad have no concept of boundaries. 287 00:17:43,557 --> 00:17:47,493 I'm sorry, but they drive me crazy with their constant interest about everything. 288 00:17:49,163 --> 00:17:51,654 You do know she goes through your stuff all the time. 289 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:54,735 Like all the time. How can you stand living there? 290 00:17:54,835 --> 00:17:56,769 Well, it helps that I don't pay rent. 291 00:17:58,472 --> 00:18:00,372 Well, you're turning into them. 292 00:18:00,474 --> 00:18:04,137 You're turning into Mom and Dad, with your constant interest. 293 00:18:04,245 --> 00:18:06,907 I'm not interested. I'm concerned. 294 00:18:07,014 --> 00:18:09,209 Well, can't you just keep it to yourself? 295 00:18:09,317 --> 00:18:11,285 I thought you and I had an unspoken agreement... 296 00:18:11,385 --> 00:18:13,751 never to get into each other's business uninvited. 297 00:18:13,854 --> 00:18:17,915 - I never said that. - That's why it's unspoken, dumbass. 298 00:18:18,025 --> 00:18:21,955 Okay. Well. If you won't talk to me... 299 00:18:22,063 --> 00:18:24,861 will you talk to this? 300 00:18:33,674 --> 00:18:35,608 - You're scarin' me. - Oh, boo-hoo. 301 00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:39,476 - Because I don't like your stupid cow creamer? - Because you won't talk to me! 302 00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:42,048 Hey, how's it goin'? 303 00:18:42,149 --> 00:18:44,879 Good. How, um, how are you? 304 00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:47,954 Oh, just nifty, eh? Is there a problem? 305 00:18:48,055 --> 00:18:50,751 Are you having second thoughts about visiting our little country? 306 00:18:50,858 --> 00:18:55,454 - No, no. We're just, uh- - We're just, uh, looking for our passports. 307 00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:57,793 - Is that them there? - Oh! 308 00:18:57,898 --> 00:19:00,833 - Look at that. - Snake woulda bit ya, eh? 309 00:19:00,935 --> 00:19:04,302 - It sure would. - Well, if you like, you can pull on forward there... 310 00:19:04,405 --> 00:19:07,340 - and I'll see to it that you're taken care of. - Great! 311 00:19:15,116 --> 00:19:17,141 Passports, please! 312 00:19:18,386 --> 00:19:21,014 Thank you. 313 00:19:21,122 --> 00:19:25,183 - Business or pleasure? - Pleasure? 314 00:19:25,292 --> 00:19:28,921 When an agent of a sovereign nation asks you these questions... 315 00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:30,929 you're instructed to answer truthfully. 316 00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:34,831 It's the law. Do you think you're above the law, Jaye? 317 00:19:34,935 --> 00:19:38,063 Not really. I mean, I got arrested, didn't I? 318 00:19:38,172 --> 00:19:41,437 - Did you just give me tone? - Nope. There was no tone. 319 00:19:41,542 --> 00:19:46,036 You entered a foreign country under false pretenses with the intent to commit a crime. 320 00:19:46,147 --> 00:19:50,709 I actually haven't admitted that, so you can't put that down. 321 00:19:50,818 --> 00:19:54,083 But you do admit that you were driving the vehicle. 322 00:19:54,188 --> 00:19:57,351 And the vehicle you were driving was yours. And at no time during your stay... 323 00:19:57,458 --> 00:20:01,758 with our neighbors to the north did someone else drive your vehicle. 324 00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:06,390 - Can I put that down? - Sure. 325 00:20:15,242 --> 00:20:17,608 Jaye! No sign of her. 326 00:20:17,711 --> 00:20:19,611 The woman at the ticket counter said the bus from Buffalo... 327 00:20:19,713 --> 00:20:21,613 dropped everyone off two hours ago. 328 00:20:21,715 --> 00:20:23,615 - Oh, my God. - What? 329 00:20:23,717 --> 00:20:25,617 Guy just blew his nose on the ground. 330 00:20:25,719 --> 00:20:29,450 - I thought Canadians were supposed to be clean. - Just don't make eye contact. 331 00:20:29,557 --> 00:20:32,754 - So, what do we do now? - I guess we work our way up and down the streets. 332 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,421 Canvassing the 'hood. We look for hotels, motels- 333 00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:38,430 all-night diners, women's shelters- 334 00:20:38,532 --> 00:20:40,523 - anyplace she might seek- - Oh, there she is! 335 00:20:41,635 --> 00:20:45,298 - Yvette! - Children! 336 00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:51,144 - But what are you doing here? - We came to take you home. 337 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,607 - I have not a home. - 'Course you have a home. 338 00:20:54,715 --> 00:20:57,411 And it's getting dirtier by the minute without you. We should go. 339 00:20:58,886 --> 00:21:01,719 The import officials have taken from me my passport. 340 00:21:01,822 --> 00:21:05,690 - Ah, you don't need that. - They will send me to jail. They told me this. 341 00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:09,092 Only if you get caught. Which you won't. 342 00:21:09,196 --> 00:21:11,664 'Cause you'll be in the trunk. See? 343 00:21:11,765 --> 00:21:13,665 We got pillows and a blanket in there. 344 00:21:13,767 --> 00:21:17,168 Ahh! Your teddy bear blankie! 345 00:21:17,271 --> 00:21:19,671 They're Ewoks. 346 00:21:19,773 --> 00:21:23,436 This is a most beautiful kindness, but it is too dangerous. 347 00:21:23,544 --> 00:21:26,513 - No, it's fine! I tested it. - Not this danger, chérie. 348 00:21:26,614 --> 00:21:30,345 The danger is to your family. To your parents. To your sister, no? 349 00:21:30,451 --> 00:21:34,217 Mom wants you back. Dad will get over it, and Sharon- 350 00:21:34,321 --> 00:21:38,121 - Sharon's a bitch. - I don't want to hear these words from your mouth to your sister. 351 00:21:38,225 --> 00:21:40,352 - Yes, Yvette. - She has a good heart. 352 00:21:40,461 --> 00:21:42,395 That maybe beats too fast. 353 00:21:42,496 --> 00:21:46,865 Please, give to your father this. It is my key. Also, a birthday card. 354 00:21:46,967 --> 00:21:50,630 You give it to him. On his birthday. In eight months. 355 00:21:50,738 --> 00:21:53,536 I know when is his birthday! 356 00:21:53,641 --> 00:21:56,872 It was all they had at the bus station. 357 00:21:56,977 --> 00:22:02,244 I had to say good-bye. And I'm sorry. Please. Take it. 358 00:22:02,349 --> 00:22:05,250 Fine. But we're not leaving you in this bus station. 359 00:22:09,023 --> 00:22:12,550 A hundred and forty-four dollars. That's everything Mom gave us. 360 00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:14,628 One hundred and forty-four U.S. 361 00:22:14,728 --> 00:22:17,959 It will go further here. I will have a very nice room. 362 00:22:19,633 --> 00:22:22,329 - Do you have your A.T.M. card? - I just use it to clean my nails. 363 00:22:22,436 --> 00:22:24,904 - I don't actually have any money. - You have to have some. 364 00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:27,565 - Uh, I actually pay rent. - Children, please. 365 00:22:27,675 --> 00:22:30,371 - Don't fight. - Moo! 366 00:22:30,477 --> 00:22:35,278 - Bring her home. - I can't. She won't let me. 367 00:22:35,382 --> 00:22:38,840 - She won't let you what? - Nothing. 368 00:22:38,953 --> 00:22:41,387 You weren't even talking to us, were you? 369 00:22:41,488 --> 00:22:44,389 Does your mother know you took her creamer? 370 00:22:44,491 --> 00:22:45,958 - Right on red. - What? 371 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,028 Right on red. Right on red. 372 00:22:48,128 --> 00:22:50,255 Right on red. Right on red! 373 00:22:50,364 --> 00:22:53,299 - Right on red. Moo! - What are you doing? 374 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,027 - I don't know! - It's one way! 375 00:22:55,135 --> 00:22:57,968 - I know! I know! - It's one way! 376 00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:01,735 Jaye, what are you doing? 377 00:23:05,980 --> 00:23:10,076 Jaye! Hold it! What are you- 378 00:23:10,184 --> 00:23:12,277 - Oh, my God! - Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa. 379 00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,588 Ah! Is anyone hurt? 380 00:23:27,768 --> 00:23:32,102 - Are you all right? - We're fine. 381 00:23:32,206 --> 00:23:34,231 Sorry about your yard. 382 00:23:36,944 --> 00:23:42,143 My God. My God, I don't believe it. 383 00:23:43,984 --> 00:23:45,952 Hello, Mother. 384 00:23:48,222 --> 00:23:50,690 "Bring her home. " 385 00:23:50,791 --> 00:23:52,759 No way! 386 00:24:02,970 --> 00:24:05,871 - My God. - Dad. 387 00:24:07,641 --> 00:24:10,007 My daughter. 388 00:24:10,110 --> 00:24:13,045 I thought they were supposed to be dirt-poor. 389 00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:15,980 - These people aren't even French. - Or dead. 390 00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:19,519 I can't believe it's you. Cindy. 391 00:24:19,620 --> 00:24:22,521 Cindy? Why, she's just a great, big liar. 392 00:24:22,623 --> 00:24:24,648 - Awesome. - You knew about this. 393 00:24:24,758 --> 00:24:27,625 - What? No. - You expect me to believe we just ended up... 394 00:24:27,728 --> 00:24:31,562 on Yvette's dead parents'- weren't- really-dead lawn just by chance? 395 00:24:31,665 --> 00:24:34,065 I honestly don't care what you believe. 396 00:24:36,904 --> 00:24:39,372 Well, of course I care what you believe. 397 00:24:41,108 --> 00:24:42,803 So, anyway- 398 00:24:42,910 --> 00:24:45,606 You've come home. 399 00:24:45,713 --> 00:24:48,705 You should have told us. We would have understood why you ran away. 400 00:24:48,816 --> 00:24:51,284 - She ran away? - You were pregnant. 401 00:24:52,886 --> 00:24:57,346 I'm your grandfather, Fred. And this is your grandmother, Helen. 402 00:24:57,458 --> 00:24:59,858 Call me "Nanoo" Helen. 403 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,520 - I don't wish to. - Mom, Dad. 404 00:25:02,629 --> 00:25:04,654 Jaye and Aaron aren't my children. 405 00:25:11,605 --> 00:25:15,106 So, you employ my daughter, do you? 406 00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:17,268 She works for our parents. 407 00:25:17,377 --> 00:25:19,072 I see. 408 00:25:19,213 --> 00:25:22,182 She's more a member of the family than anything else. 409 00:25:22,282 --> 00:25:25,342 I'm the Tylers' housekeeper, Dad. 410 00:25:25,452 --> 00:25:28,387 - But she practically raised us. - That's not true. Your parents raised you. 411 00:25:28,489 --> 00:25:31,287 - Don't ever think otherwise. - Well, that's good. 412 00:25:31,391 --> 00:25:33,382 If their family can afford a live-in housekeeper... 413 00:25:33,494 --> 00:25:36,930 they certainly will have no trouble paying for the damage done to the lawn. 414 00:25:39,967 --> 00:25:42,561 Thank you, Yvette. 415 00:25:42,669 --> 00:25:45,797 I'm sorry we don't have anything proper to serve you. 416 00:25:45,906 --> 00:25:47,897 It's fine. We're fine. 417 00:25:48,008 --> 00:25:51,466 - Yeah. These are great. - If you had called- 418 00:25:51,578 --> 00:25:53,705 It was a spur of the moment thing. 419 00:25:53,814 --> 00:25:58,751 - After 20 years, a phone call- - You're right. Should have called. 420 00:25:58,852 --> 00:26:02,720 I'm sorry. Let's do it again another time when it's more convenient. 421 00:26:02,823 --> 00:26:06,418 These kids have a long drive, but it's late. 422 00:26:06,527 --> 00:26:10,759 - Uh, children, let's go. - Yes, leave. That's what you do best. 423 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:16,160 How would you know what I do best? 424 00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:18,636 - You don't know a thing about me. - How could we? 425 00:26:18,739 --> 00:26:21,765 In 20 years, we received half-a-dozen postcards. 426 00:26:21,875 --> 00:26:25,311 Which is more than I received from you in all the time I was under this roof. 427 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,148 Mm. Moist. 428 00:26:29,249 --> 00:26:35,188 - We gave you everything. - Everything except what I needed, which was you. 429 00:26:35,289 --> 00:26:38,258 What was the word I spelled to win the fifth grade spelling bee? 430 00:26:41,595 --> 00:26:43,495 Of course, you can't be expected to remember... 431 00:26:43,597 --> 00:26:45,588 something you never knew. 432 00:26:45,699 --> 00:26:50,659 - 'Cause you weren't there. - Do you have any idea what you put us through? 433 00:26:50,771 --> 00:26:54,263 What I put you through? 434 00:26:54,374 --> 00:26:59,038 I wasn't gone two hours, and these children came to another country to find me. 435 00:27:01,114 --> 00:27:03,582 But you? 436 00:27:03,684 --> 00:27:06,778 I spent four months in a local youth hostel... 437 00:27:06,887 --> 00:27:09,378 praying you'd find me. 438 00:27:09,489 --> 00:27:12,822 - Did you even bother to call the police? - You were willful. 439 00:27:12,926 --> 00:27:17,124 I was lonely. So lonely. 440 00:27:17,231 --> 00:27:20,530 You never wanted a child. 441 00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:23,501 I was raised by teachers and camp counselors... 442 00:27:23,604 --> 00:27:25,799 and the help- 443 00:27:25,906 --> 00:27:29,000 If I was good at leaving, it's because you held the door. 444 00:27:32,512 --> 00:27:35,640 Say something. 445 00:27:36,984 --> 00:27:39,509 - It's okay. Let's just go. - It's not okay! 446 00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:41,383 It's not supposed to be like this. 447 00:27:41,488 --> 00:27:45,185 It was very sweet of you to do this, Jaye. 448 00:27:45,292 --> 00:27:49,023 I didn't do this. I didn't bring you here. I'm not- 449 00:27:49,129 --> 00:27:51,529 I'm gonna kill that cow! 450 00:28:02,576 --> 00:28:05,511 - Hope you're happy. 'Cause nobody else is. - Come on! Open the door. 451 00:28:05,612 --> 00:28:07,842 - What good did this do? - Jaye! Open the door! 452 00:28:07,948 --> 00:28:10,382 - Open the door! - You make me bring her all the way here... 453 00:28:10,484 --> 00:28:14,045 - just so she can feel like crap? - Please, stop talkin' to that creamer! 454 00:28:14,154 --> 00:28:17,089 - What the hell's wrong with her? - Nothin'. There's nothin' wrong with her, all right? 455 00:28:17,190 --> 00:28:19,021 - Go away! - She's cracked. 456 00:28:19,126 --> 00:28:22,459 - You shut up! - You will not speak to my wife like that! 457 00:28:22,562 --> 00:28:25,190 - I'm not gonna argue with you about this. - How dare you speak like that- 458 00:28:25,299 --> 00:28:29,030 - Come on, Jaye. Please. - Are you the cow of pain? Are you? 459 00:28:29,136 --> 00:28:32,264 - Bring her home. - What? 460 00:28:32,372 --> 00:28:34,863 Bring her home. 461 00:28:36,510 --> 00:28:39,638 I would like to know what you're gonna do about this garden! 462 00:28:42,749 --> 00:28:44,376 You're so cheap! 463 00:28:44,484 --> 00:28:46,884 - What are you taking their side for? - I told you to shut up! 464 00:28:49,890 --> 00:28:52,051 And that's when you assaulted him. 465 00:28:52,159 --> 00:28:55,890 Uh, not exactly. 466 00:28:55,996 --> 00:28:58,089 - Fred! - Get in the car. 467 00:28:58,198 --> 00:29:01,497 You don't screw with my family. 468 00:29:01,601 --> 00:29:06,129 Hey. No one's more surprised than me on that. Honest. 469 00:29:07,607 --> 00:29:11,304 Fine. You want to call the police? We'll call the police. 470 00:29:11,411 --> 00:29:13,436 Now are you ready to go home? 471 00:29:13,547 --> 00:29:14,571 Chérie. 472 00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:19,446 It's the tomato cut up the way you like. 473 00:29:19,553 --> 00:29:22,488 And on the good bread. It's for your trip, chérie. 474 00:29:27,594 --> 00:29:30,154 Oblique. That was the word you spelled. 475 00:29:31,732 --> 00:29:33,632 Thank you. 476 00:29:37,471 --> 00:29:40,065 Hop in. 477 00:29:57,391 --> 00:30:00,918 - You laid that guy out. - I barely tapped him. 478 00:30:01,028 --> 00:30:03,690 Old people go down easy. 479 00:30:03,797 --> 00:30:07,426 - Did the cow tell you to hit him? - No. Shut up! 480 00:30:07,534 --> 00:30:09,832 All right. I sense you're not ready to talk about this. 481 00:30:09,936 --> 00:30:12,700 - My God! It's like we're connected. - We are. 482 00:30:12,806 --> 00:30:15,206 Which is why I just have to say, as your brother... 483 00:30:15,308 --> 00:30:19,176 I'm gonna be relentless until you tell me what's goin' on with you. 484 00:30:19,279 --> 00:30:21,543 God, as if I knew. 485 00:30:22,849 --> 00:30:24,817 Look innocent. 486 00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:33,426 Passports. 487 00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:42,426 You bringin' any produce into the country? 488 00:30:42,536 --> 00:30:44,731 Produce? No. 489 00:30:48,975 --> 00:30:51,034 Any undeclared purchases? 490 00:30:53,013 --> 00:30:56,574 - No. - Anything else I should know? 491 00:30:56,683 --> 00:31:00,244 - What? - Is there anything else I should know? 492 00:31:01,922 --> 00:31:04,584 Nothing else you should know. 493 00:31:33,053 --> 00:31:36,784 - Go ahead. - Thank you. 494 00:31:44,364 --> 00:31:46,730 - Is it clear yet? - Don't see anything. 495 00:31:46,833 --> 00:31:50,030 Okay, then we're- 496 00:31:50,137 --> 00:31:54,073 Dead. 497 00:31:57,444 --> 00:31:59,878 Get out of the vehicle. 498 00:32:01,014 --> 00:32:03,141 Put your hands in the air. 499 00:32:06,686 --> 00:32:11,316 Put down the weapon. Put down the weapon! 500 00:32:12,392 --> 00:32:14,792 - It's a cow. - Put it down. 501 00:32:14,895 --> 00:32:17,455 How did they know? 502 00:32:27,641 --> 00:32:29,609 Bitch. 503 00:33:20,860 --> 00:33:24,762 Say I'm your lawyer. 504 00:33:24,864 --> 00:33:30,200 - No. - Say I'm your lawyer so we can talk privately. 505 00:33:30,303 --> 00:33:32,703 Say it. 506 00:33:32,806 --> 00:33:34,706 She's my lawyer. 507 00:33:39,613 --> 00:33:43,845 Well, if it isn't the squealer. Thanks for squealing, squealer. 508 00:33:43,950 --> 00:33:47,852 - How am I a squealer? - Uh, could it be the squealing? 509 00:33:47,954 --> 00:33:49,854 You ambushed us with the fuzz! 510 00:33:49,956 --> 00:33:53,687 You're all backlit and evil, smoking like that guy on The X Files. 511 00:33:53,793 --> 00:33:57,422 You ratted out your own brother and sister. 512 00:33:57,530 --> 00:34:00,590 Is this because we like each other better than we like you? 513 00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:03,601 - You are hateful. - You're hateful. 514 00:34:06,473 --> 00:34:10,204 The blonde one's queer. Look at her. 515 00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:12,278 Fingernails are a dead giveaway. 516 00:34:12,379 --> 00:34:14,370 Cut all nice and short. 517 00:34:14,481 --> 00:34:20,420 Clean cuticle beds. Lesbians always trim their nails like that. 518 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,715 You know why? 519 00:34:22,822 --> 00:34:25,791 You actually think I tipped the police. 520 00:34:25,892 --> 00:34:30,761 - You were there waiting with them. - That's because they tipped me. 521 00:34:30,864 --> 00:34:33,025 I knew you'd try to do something stupid like this. 522 00:34:33,133 --> 00:34:35,897 Which is why I tagged your name, so when it came up in the system... 523 00:34:36,002 --> 00:34:38,994 - I'd know about it. - And then you just dropped everything... 524 00:34:39,105 --> 00:34:44,133 - and came charging to the rescue? - You're my sister. 525 00:34:49,015 --> 00:34:51,040 When are they gonna release me? 526 00:34:51,151 --> 00:34:53,915 You might not want to think of release so much as parole. 527 00:34:54,020 --> 00:34:56,648 Which I'm sure you'll be eligible for at some point. 528 00:34:56,756 --> 00:35:01,193 - The Canadians are furious. - Furious Canadians. Does that even work? 529 00:35:01,294 --> 00:35:04,320 They've already filed for extradition. 530 00:35:04,431 --> 00:35:07,923 Sharon. This is your one chance to redeem yourself. 531 00:35:08,034 --> 00:35:11,128 I don't care how you do it, but you cannot let them send her back there. 532 00:35:11,237 --> 00:35:15,367 - Not Yvette. You. - Me? 533 00:35:15,475 --> 00:35:19,036 - They want to send me to Canada? - To face charges! 534 00:35:19,145 --> 00:35:22,478 Reckless endangerment, vandalism, assault... 535 00:35:22,582 --> 00:35:25,847 - driving the wrong way on a one-way street- - Okay. I get it. 536 00:35:25,952 --> 00:35:28,443 I don't think you do! After they're finished with you there... 537 00:35:28,555 --> 00:35:30,955 the United States will probably bring you back here... 538 00:35:31,057 --> 00:35:33,252 to answer for attempted smuggling. 539 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,022 You are wanted in two countries! 540 00:35:37,497 --> 00:35:40,227 Guess it's a lucky thing I got me a good lawyer, huh? 541 00:35:42,335 --> 00:35:46,271 Actually, you might want to consider new representation. 542 00:35:46,373 --> 00:35:49,638 I don't think I can stop this, Jaye. 543 00:35:49,743 --> 00:35:52,678 I'll be okay. Just try to get Aaron out. 544 00:35:52,779 --> 00:35:55,839 - He's already out. - Bastard! He sang? 545 00:35:55,949 --> 00:35:59,043 No, you admitted to driving the car. 546 00:35:59,152 --> 00:36:01,245 Oh. I sang. 547 00:36:01,354 --> 00:36:05,085 There's like six Law and Orders on the air now. Have you not seen one of them? 548 00:36:05,191 --> 00:36:07,318 And I guess they already sent Yvette back? 549 00:36:07,427 --> 00:36:10,021 Hilariously enough, she gets to stay. 550 00:36:10,130 --> 00:36:14,499 - She does? - In a U.S. jail, until her identity can be established. 551 00:36:14,601 --> 00:36:17,764 D- Did you know her real name's like Cindy something? 552 00:36:17,871 --> 00:36:20,704 - Cindy. - Yeah. 553 00:36:20,807 --> 00:36:25,870 I'm really sorry about all this. 554 00:36:25,979 --> 00:36:28,379 I'm sorry I asked for that pancake. 555 00:36:28,481 --> 00:36:30,745 Sorry I got you deported. 556 00:36:30,850 --> 00:36:33,819 Sorry I made such a mess of things. 557 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,583 Sorry about your parents and sticking you in the trunk. 558 00:36:37,690 --> 00:36:41,148 I'm just really, really sorry. 559 00:36:41,261 --> 00:36:45,595 I'm not. Okay, maybe about the trunk thing- 560 00:36:45,698 --> 00:36:48,030 Not the rest of it. 561 00:36:48,134 --> 00:36:51,262 I feel like I'm free, finally. 562 00:36:51,371 --> 00:36:53,896 Okay, well, that's just ironic. 563 00:36:54,007 --> 00:36:56,703 I never thought I'd see them again. 564 00:36:56,810 --> 00:37:01,338 But every day for 20 years, I wondered if I made a mistake. 565 00:37:01,448 --> 00:37:04,144 Now I know I didn't. 566 00:37:04,250 --> 00:37:07,686 So you recommend this whole running away from your family thing, then? 567 00:37:07,787 --> 00:37:09,880 'Cause I've kind of been considering it. 568 00:37:09,989 --> 00:37:12,048 Dear, I've met your family. 569 00:37:12,158 --> 00:37:15,924 You may have wheels on your house, but it's not gonna help. 570 00:37:16,963 --> 00:37:18,863 I guess you're right. 571 00:37:18,965 --> 00:37:23,095 I think Mom had a LoJack surgically implanted in me when I was born. 572 00:37:23,203 --> 00:37:27,663 And now that I'm being shipped off to Canadian justice, I'm kinda glad. 573 00:37:27,774 --> 00:37:30,174 At least now they'll know where to send me stuff. 574 00:37:32,011 --> 00:37:34,479 You'll always be taken care of. 575 00:37:36,549 --> 00:37:38,540 I guess that's true. 576 00:37:40,086 --> 00:37:41,986 - Cindy? - Yeah. 577 00:37:43,256 --> 00:37:45,315 I have a confession to make. 578 00:37:45,425 --> 00:37:48,622 - What's that? - I miss Yvette. 579 00:37:50,997 --> 00:37:53,488 And she misses you, chérie. 580 00:37:56,402 --> 00:37:58,302 Tyler! 581 00:37:59,405 --> 00:38:01,305 Let's go. 582 00:38:15,855 --> 00:38:18,585 So, is Canada still ruled by the queen of England? 583 00:38:18,691 --> 00:38:21,182 Because, if the judges there are gonna be wearing wigs... 584 00:38:21,294 --> 00:38:23,194 as an American, I might have an issue with that. 585 00:38:23,296 --> 00:38:25,787 You're not goin' to Canada. Ever again, possibly. 586 00:38:25,899 --> 00:38:27,924 They put a restriction on your passport. 587 00:38:28,034 --> 00:38:30,867 - What? - Charges have been dropped. 588 00:38:30,970 --> 00:38:32,870 You're goin' home. 589 00:38:32,972 --> 00:38:36,135 Mom! You sprung me. How? 590 00:38:36,242 --> 00:38:39,575 Oh, it wasn't me, dear. 591 00:38:39,679 --> 00:38:42,978 I take back every bad thing I've ever said about you. 592 00:38:43,082 --> 00:38:45,573 You're the best lawyer a sister could have. 593 00:38:48,955 --> 00:38:51,185 How'd you pull it off? 594 00:38:51,291 --> 00:38:53,418 I made tea. 595 00:38:53,526 --> 00:38:57,519 - You made tea? - Please. It wasn't her. 596 00:39:17,317 --> 00:39:20,377 I am very sad. 597 00:39:20,486 --> 00:39:24,320 Sharon, go talk to your father. You're his favorite. 598 00:39:24,424 --> 00:39:28,121 - I thought I was his favorite. - We don't have favorites. 599 00:39:28,227 --> 00:39:30,627 Can't we just go get her and smuggle her back? 600 00:39:41,808 --> 00:39:46,211 - You okay? - She's been with us for over 20 years. 601 00:39:46,312 --> 00:39:48,212 We practically raised her. 602 00:39:54,053 --> 00:39:56,021 Let me make you some tea. 603 00:40:09,369 --> 00:40:11,667 Sidney. Darrin. 604 00:40:11,771 --> 00:40:14,296 You feel like a game of golf? 605 00:40:23,116 --> 00:40:25,414 - I made tea. - You made tea? 606 00:40:25,518 --> 00:40:27,679 Please. It wasn't her. 607 00:40:34,460 --> 00:40:37,554 Your father's very upset. Make sure you thank him. 608 00:40:37,664 --> 00:40:42,431 He compromised his principles. And wrote a very large check to the Bradleys. 609 00:40:42,535 --> 00:40:46,096 Cindy's parents. How am I ever gonna adapt to that name? 610 00:40:47,140 --> 00:40:50,007 Daddy's girl. 611 00:40:59,585 --> 00:41:01,644 You weren't mistreated, were you? 612 00:41:01,754 --> 00:41:03,847 - Uh-uh. - I wasn't either. 613 00:41:03,956 --> 00:41:08,222 - They didn't mistreat me. - You owe me $4,500. 614 00:41:08,327 --> 00:41:10,227 American or Canadian? 615 00:41:10,329 --> 00:41:14,129 I'm sorry I made you compromise your principles. 616 00:41:15,802 --> 00:41:18,066 The first principle is always family. 617 00:41:18,171 --> 00:41:20,139 You take care of them first. 618 00:41:23,643 --> 00:41:27,238 - You ready? - Oui, Mr. Tyler. Yes. Yes. 619 00:41:27,346 --> 00:41:30,474 How did you- That's like magic! 620 00:41:30,583 --> 00:41:35,418 Your father had a little round of midnight golf. He arranged a limited amnesty for Yvette. 621 00:41:35,521 --> 00:41:38,615 - Cindy. - And this time, she's gonna pass that test... 622 00:41:38,725 --> 00:41:41,250 - and become a proud American. - Yes, Mr. Tyler. 623 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,328 Let's go home. 624 00:41:44,630 --> 00:41:47,121 Cindy. Cindy, Cindy. 625 00:41:51,237 --> 00:41:53,205 Hmm. 626 00:42:24,470 --> 00:42:26,301 Thank you. 627 00:42:28,975 --> 00:42:32,536 - Good morning, girls. - Good morning, Daddy. 628 00:42:32,645 --> 00:42:34,772 - Name the branches of government. - I know. 629 00:42:34,881 --> 00:42:37,577 Well, of course you know. You're already an American. 630 00:42:37,683 --> 00:42:40,174 Executive, legislative and judicial. 631 00:42:40,286 --> 00:42:42,516 Now, I govern these branches. Who am I? 632 00:42:42,622 --> 00:42:46,251 - You are the Constitution. - Hey. So where do you want your Ewok linens? 633 00:42:46,359 --> 00:42:49,453 - Oh, could you put those in my room? - How 'bout I throw them over here? 634 00:42:49,562 --> 00:42:53,623 - Sweetheart, you're staying? - The store doesn't open for another hour. 635 00:42:53,733 --> 00:42:56,725 And the mouth-breather doesn't come in until noon. I plan on being late. 636 00:42:56,836 --> 00:43:00,670 - Oh! - Can I have a pancake? 637 00:43:00,773 --> 00:43:04,573 - It would be my pleasure. - Oh, my God. Jaye's staying for pancakes? 638 00:43:04,677 --> 00:43:07,612 So? Hey, what happened to the cow creamer? 639 00:43:07,713 --> 00:43:10,443 Aaron broke it. You realize it was a Limoges? 640 00:43:10,550 --> 00:43:15,419 - It still works. - The Constitution adopted by the first 13 states was- 641 00:43:15,521 --> 00:43:18,422 The Articles of Confederation. 642 00:43:18,524 --> 00:43:20,754 Name the group of officials who advise the president. 643 00:43:20,860 --> 00:43:22,657 - Uh- - You just cleaned it. 644 00:43:22,762 --> 00:43:26,562 - The Cabinet? - Yes! What are the two major American political parties? 645 00:43:26,666 --> 00:43:29,100 The Republicans and the G.O.P. 646 00:43:29,202 --> 00:43:30,669 - Perfect! - Dad! 647 00:43:30,770 --> 00:43:32,260 - Dad! - What?