1 00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:04,660 At Birmingham East, 2 00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:07,209 the Returning Officer is declaring the result. 3 00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:11,089 James George Hacker: 21,793. 4 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,773 Arthur William Gaunt: 19,321. 5 00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:19,172 So Jim Hacker's back, and after many years as a Shadow Minister 6 00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:22,571 seems almost certain to get a post in the new Government. 7 00:00:57,212 --> 00:00:59,168 - I haven't had a call yet. - Who from? 8 00:00:59,332 --> 00:01:01,926 - Our new Prime Minister. - What do you expect? 9 00:01:02,092 --> 00:01:04,367 The car's only just got back from the Palace. 10 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,484 Any moment now, then. 11 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,885 So who was on the phone? 12 00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:12,608 Frank Wiesel. He's coming right over. 13 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,569 Why doesn't he just move in? 14 00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:17,286 Annie, he's my political adviser. 15 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:20,444 - I depend on him. - Why don't you marry him? 16 00:01:20,612 --> 00:01:23,490 Darling, you do over- react to everything, so. 17 00:01:23,652 --> 00:01:24,846 Here we are! 18 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:28,410 Jim Hacker... yes. Oh, it's you. 19 00:01:28,652 --> 00:01:30,449 Yes, was a good party. 20 00:01:30,652 --> 00:01:33,724 Yes, I've got a bit of a headache... I will ring you back. 21 00:01:33,892 --> 00:01:37,202 I'm waiting fora rather important call... bye bye. 22 00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:41,169 Alderman Spottiswood. 23 00:01:41,932 --> 00:01:45,004 I wish people wouldn't ring to congratulate me. 24 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,969 I'm waiting forthe call. 25 00:01:47,132 --> 00:01:49,248 It's as if you're about to enterthe Ministry. 26 00:01:49,412 --> 00:01:51,243 Yes, but which Ministry, that's the point. 27 00:01:51,452 --> 00:01:52,726 Itwas a joke! 28 00:01:53,412 --> 00:01:55,004 Oh, I see. 29 00:01:58,892 --> 00:02:01,087 - Are you very tense? - No, I'm not. 30 00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:03,891 A politician's wife is not allowed to. 31 00:02:04,052 --> 00:02:06,441 A happy carefree politician's wife. 32 00:02:09,572 --> 00:02:12,006 - What are you looking for? - A cigarette. 33 00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:13,491 Try the cigarette box. 34 00:02:13,652 --> 00:02:15,722 - It's empty. - Take a librium. 35 00:02:15,892 --> 00:02:19,441 I can't find it, that's why I'm looking fora cigarette. 36 00:02:20,452 --> 00:02:24,127 Oh, Jim, I've had it. Would you pop out and get some? 37 00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:26,681 Sorry, I daren't leave the phone. 38 00:02:26,932 --> 00:02:29,844 If the PM wants you to be in the cabinet, 39 00:02:30,012 --> 00:02:32,606 he'll phone back. Oryou can phone back. 40 00:02:32,772 --> 00:02:36,242 I ran the campaign against the PM forthe leadership. 41 00:02:36,412 --> 00:02:39,688 - If I'm out, well, who knows. - I could take a message. 42 00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:42,967 There it is. 43 00:02:44,892 --> 00:02:46,644 Hello... yes, speaking... 44 00:02:47,252 --> 00:02:49,049 Oh, it's you Michael... 45 00:02:49,892 --> 00:02:51,928 I haven't had a call, have you? 46 00:02:52,092 --> 00:02:53,525 Bill's had a call? 47 00:02:53,732 --> 00:02:55,848 What's he got? Europe? 48 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,526 - Bill's got Europe. - Lucky Europe. 49 00:02:59,332 --> 00:03:02,927 - Does Bill speak French? - He can hardly speak English. 50 00:03:03,732 --> 00:03:07,008 I'll call you back if I hear anything. Right... Bye. 51 00:03:12,132 --> 00:03:13,451 Fingers crossed. 52 00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,603 Hello... Yes, speaking... 53 00:03:16,692 --> 00:03:18,250 The Gas Board. 54 00:03:20,652 --> 00:03:23,041 Good Lord man, thatwas weeks ago. 55 00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:26,090 I'm waiting fora rather important call... 56 00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:31,085 Look, there happened to be a general election yesterday... 57 00:03:31,452 --> 00:03:34,330 You voted forthe otherside, did you? 58 00:03:34,492 --> 00:03:37,962 How did you get to the polling booth on the right day? 59 00:03:38,132 --> 00:03:41,249 With two assistants, three return visits forspare parts? 60 00:03:41,412 --> 00:03:43,403 Look, Mr. Franklin... Frankly Franklin, 61 00:03:43,572 --> 00:03:46,530 I don't care if the heating system collapses in ruins. 62 00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:49,252 I've got to get off this phone, goodbye. 63 00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:50,680 They won't come now. 64 00:03:50,852 --> 00:03:53,605 If I get ConsumerAffairs, they'll come. 65 00:03:54,772 --> 00:03:56,285 Hello? 66 00:03:56,452 --> 00:03:58,044 Hello? Hello? 67 00:03:58,212 --> 00:04:01,329 Darling, thatwas the front doorbell. 68 00:04:02,252 --> 00:04:03,651 It'll be Frank. 69 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,326 - Martin's got the Foreign Office. - Has he? 70 00:04:10,492 --> 00:04:12,403 Jack's got Health and Fred's got Energy. 71 00:04:12,572 --> 00:04:15,040 - Has anyone got Brains? - Do you mean Education? 72 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:17,043 No, I knowwhat I mean. 73 00:04:17,212 --> 00:04:20,170 - What's left? What have I got? - Rhythm? 74 00:04:21,772 --> 00:04:24,525 Frank, I have heard absolutely nothing, 75 00:04:24,692 --> 00:04:26,523 not that it's surprising. 76 00:04:26,692 --> 00:04:28,967 My whole career is going down the drain 77 00:04:29,132 --> 00:04:32,681 because the PM is unable to reach me on the telephone. 78 00:04:35,252 --> 00:04:37,049 You get it, darling. 79 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,847 - Hello. - Hello, this is the BBC. 80 00:04:42,012 --> 00:04:46,085 Would Mr. Hacker like to be interviewed on the PM program? 81 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,163 - PM? - PM? 82 00:04:49,692 --> 00:04:50,966 Jim Hackerhere... 83 00:04:51,132 --> 00:04:53,487 Are you available this afternoon? 84 00:04:53,652 --> 00:04:55,244 Yes. Any time you like. 85 00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:57,882 Could we interview you? 86 00:04:58,052 --> 00:05:00,122 I'd been hoping you'd call. 87 00:05:00,812 --> 00:05:03,610 What job do you think you're likely to get? 88 00:05:04,532 --> 00:05:05,885 I beg yourpardon? 89 00:05:07,572 --> 00:05:10,086 What job do you think you're likely to get? 90 00:05:10,692 --> 00:05:12,762 That's foryou to tell me. 91 00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:16,249 - What? - Well, it's not up to me to say. 92 00:05:16,412 --> 00:05:19,848 That's forthe PM to say. You're the PM's office... 93 00:05:20,812 --> 00:05:24,646 Oh, I see. The BBC PM office! 94 00:05:25,212 --> 00:05:29,649 How silly, what a silly mistake, Yes... yes. Good bye. 95 00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:33,130 I did try and tell you. 96 00:05:34,852 --> 00:05:37,127 You answerthe bloody thing. 97 00:05:38,932 --> 00:05:40,524 Hello... 98 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,009 Mrs. Hackerspeaking. 99 00:05:43,332 --> 00:05:47,484 Oh, congratulations, "Prime Minister". It's Annie here. 100 00:05:47,892 --> 00:05:49,928 Give me that phone. 101 00:05:50,452 --> 00:05:53,205 Hello... Yes... Prime Minister. 102 00:05:53,612 --> 00:05:55,921 Yes, of course... Yes, I... 103 00:05:56,092 --> 00:05:57,286 Righto. 104 00:05:57,452 --> 00:05:59,647 I'll be on the next train. 105 00:06:04,892 --> 00:06:09,124 Top tip forAdministrative Affairs is Jim Hacker. 106 00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:13,365 Kenneth, isn't he on the young side fora Cabinet post? 107 00:06:13,652 --> 00:06:16,803 Yes, well, he's in his late forties. 108 00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:19,532 But it's certainly a jump up forhim. 109 00:06:19,692 --> 00:06:21,648 On the otherhand, this department's been 110 00:06:21,812 --> 00:06:24,645 a bit of a political graveyard recently. 111 00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,728 A furthergroup of Cabinet appointments 112 00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:33,008 has nowbeen announced from Number Ten. 113 00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:37,006 The Ministry of Administrative Affairs goes toJim Hacker, 114 00:06:37,172 --> 00:06:39,732 the formerShadow Minister forAgricultura. 115 00:06:47,652 --> 00:06:50,120 - Good afternoon, Minister. - Good afternoon. 116 00:06:50,292 --> 00:06:52,601 Bernard Wooley, Principal Private Secretary. 117 00:06:52,772 --> 00:06:55,684 Mr. Lloyd Pritchard, Assistant Private Secretary. 118 00:06:55,852 --> 00:06:59,925 - This is my political adviser... - Oh yes, of course, Mr. Weasel. 119 00:07:00,092 --> 00:07:01,730 Wiesel. 120 00:07:12,772 --> 00:07:15,923 I was the Minister's Principal Private Secretary 121 00:07:16,092 --> 00:07:17,445 in the last goverment. 122 00:07:17,612 --> 00:07:18,886 However if you... 123 00:07:19,052 --> 00:07:23,489 - I'm sure you'll be just the thing. - Thank you, Minister, howkind. 124 00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:29,642 - Where are we all going to? - You are going to youroffice. 125 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,204 What about Frank? 126 00:07:33,892 --> 00:07:36,167 - Where's Frank? - He's being taken care of. 127 00:07:37,012 --> 00:07:39,606 - Would you wait here? - This is the Waiting Room. 128 00:07:39,772 --> 00:07:42,411 - Precisely, sir. - I'm Jim Hacker's adviser. 129 00:07:42,572 --> 00:07:44,767 He has a whole department to advise him. 130 00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,570 - He needs me. - Of course. 131 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:49,451 But until he sends foryou, please, wait. 132 00:07:53,212 --> 00:07:54,930 A sherry Minister? 133 00:07:55,092 --> 00:07:56,207 Jim. 134 00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:57,851 Oh Gin. 135 00:07:58,092 --> 00:08:00,560 No, no, Jim, Jim. Call me Jim. 136 00:08:02,212 --> 00:08:05,522 I would preferto call you Minister, Minister. 137 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,843 Minister, Minister? 138 00:08:08,012 --> 00:08:09,968 Oh quite, quite. I see what you mean. 139 00:08:10,132 --> 00:08:13,249 Do I have to call you Private Secretary, Private Secretary? 140 00:08:13,652 --> 00:08:16,120 - No. Do call me Bernard. - Thank you, Bernard. 141 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:19,489 You're mostwelcome. Yourhealth, Minister. 142 00:08:21,372 --> 00:08:22,964 Well what now? 143 00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:27,331 Allowme to present Sir Humphrey Appleby, 144 00:08:27,492 --> 00:08:30,370 Permanent UnderSecretary of State and Head of the D. A. A. 145 00:08:30,532 --> 00:08:32,682 - Hello, Sir Humphrey. - Hello, and welcome. 146 00:08:32,852 --> 00:08:35,412 - Thank you. - I believe you know each other. 147 00:08:35,572 --> 00:08:40,123 Yes, we did cross swords in the Public Accounts Committee. 148 00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:41,361 I wouldn't say that. 149 00:08:41,532 --> 00:08:43,762 You came up with all the questions. 150 00:08:43,932 --> 00:08:45,888 Opposition's about asking questions. 151 00:08:46,052 --> 00:08:48,122 And Government's about not answering them. 152 00:08:48,452 --> 00:08:49,965 You answered mine. 153 00:08:50,332 --> 00:08:51,924 I'm glad you thought so. 154 00:08:54,052 --> 00:08:55,565 Good luck. 155 00:08:56,172 --> 00:09:00,529 - Who else is in this Department? - I am the Permanent UnderSecretary 156 00:09:00,692 --> 00:09:02,523 known as the Permanent Secretary. 157 00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:05,889 Wolley is your Principal Private Secretary. 158 00:09:06,052 --> 00:09:09,089 And I too have a Principal Private Secretary. 159 00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:12,685 Directly responsible to me are 10 Deputy Secretaries 160 00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:16,640 87 UnderSecretaries, and 219 Assistant Secretaries. 161 00:09:16,812 --> 00:09:18,165 Responsible to the PPS 162 00:09:18,332 --> 00:09:20,766 are Parliamentary Private Secretaries. 163 00:09:20,932 --> 00:09:24,049 The PM will be appointing two Parliamentary UnderSecretaries, 164 00:09:24,212 --> 00:09:26,851 and you will appoint yourown Parliamentary Private Secretary. 165 00:09:28,412 --> 00:09:30,050 Can they all type? 166 00:09:31,332 --> 00:09:32,811 None of us can type. 167 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,451 Mrs. McKay types. 168 00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:36,803 She is the Secretary. 169 00:09:37,572 --> 00:09:39,608 Pity we could have opened an agency. 170 00:09:39,772 --> 00:09:41,842 - Very droll, sir. - Yes, very very amusing. 171 00:09:42,012 --> 00:09:45,368 - I suppose they all say that. - Certainly not, Minister. 172 00:09:45,532 --> 00:09:47,284 Not quite all. 173 00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:49,722 Right, now then, to business. 174 00:09:50,492 --> 00:09:55,088 Forgive me if I'm a bit blunt, but that's the sort of chap I am... 175 00:09:55,332 --> 00:09:57,050 Frankly, this depart... 176 00:09:57,212 --> 00:09:58,850 This chair's a bit... 177 00:09:59,012 --> 00:10:00,889 We can change it, Minister. 178 00:10:01,052 --> 00:10:04,283 We can change the furniture, decor, office routine... 179 00:10:04,452 --> 00:10:07,364 - Yourwish is ourcommand. - I'd like a new chair. 180 00:10:07,532 --> 00:10:08,726 Hate swivel chairs. 181 00:10:08,892 --> 00:10:11,884 Two kinds of chairs to go with the two kinds of Minister. 182 00:10:12,052 --> 00:10:13,724 One sort folds up instantly, 183 00:10:13,892 --> 00:10:16,804 the othersort goes round and round in circles. 184 00:10:21,972 --> 00:10:24,850 Now, frankly this Department has got to cut 185 00:10:25,012 --> 00:10:28,561 a great swathe through all this stuffy Whitehall bureaucracy. 186 00:10:28,732 --> 00:10:31,166 We're going to throw open the windows, 187 00:10:31,332 --> 00:10:34,051 let in a bit of fresh air, cut through all the red tape, 188 00:10:34,212 --> 00:10:36,806 streamline this creaking old bureaucratic machine. 189 00:10:36,972 --> 00:10:39,406 - You mean a clean sweep? - A clean sweep. 190 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:42,882 Fartoo many people just sitting behind desks. 191 00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:47,651 Not like us, of course. 192 00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,451 Butwe've got to get rid of all those people. 193 00:10:50,612 --> 00:10:53,126 - Get rid of them? - "Redeploy them". 194 00:10:53,292 --> 00:10:56,568 Yes. Good Lord no, I don't mean put them out of work. 195 00:10:56,732 --> 00:10:59,485 Open Government, that's what my partybelieves in, 196 00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:01,688 thatwas the main plank of ourmanifesto. 197 00:11:01,852 --> 00:11:04,241 Taking the nation into ourconfidence. 198 00:11:04,412 --> 00:11:07,609 Nowhow does that strike you? Do sit down. 199 00:11:07,772 --> 00:11:10,684 Just as you said in the House on May 2nd last year, 200 00:11:10,852 --> 00:11:12,444 and again on November 23rd, 201 00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:15,285 and in The Observer and in The Daily Mail, 202 00:11:15,452 --> 00:11:17,602 and as yourmanifesto made clear. 203 00:11:17,772 --> 00:11:19,285 You know about that? 204 00:11:19,452 --> 00:11:22,012 Please, have a look at these proposals. 205 00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:25,289 These are the ways to implement this policy 206 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,330 and proposals fora white paper foryourapproval. 207 00:11:28,492 --> 00:11:31,370 The white papermight be called "Open Government". 208 00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:35,967 - You mean it's all been... - Taken care of, Minister. 209 00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:40,364 - Who did all this? - The old bureaucratic machine. 210 00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:42,124 No, quite seriously. 211 00:11:42,932 --> 00:11:45,492 We are seized of the need forreform. 212 00:11:45,652 --> 00:11:49,088 - And we have taken it on board. - I'm rathersurprised. 213 00:11:49,252 --> 00:11:52,005 I expected to have to fight you with this. 214 00:11:52,172 --> 00:11:54,481 People do have funny ideas about the Civil Service. 215 00:11:54,652 --> 00:11:57,485 We're just here to implement yourpolicies. 216 00:11:57,652 --> 00:12:00,883 "Proposals forshortening approval procedures in planning appeals"? 217 00:12:01,052 --> 00:12:05,091 Hansard Volume 497, page 1102, Column B. 218 00:12:05,252 --> 00:12:06,685 Quote "Mr. Hacker: 219 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:09,412 Is the Ministeraware that planning procedures 220 00:12:09,572 --> 00:12:11,403 make building a bungalow in the 20th century 221 00:12:11,572 --> 00:12:14,370 slowerthan building a cathedral in the 12th century? 222 00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:17,171 Opposition laughter and Government cries of shame". 223 00:12:17,332 --> 00:12:21,325 - They didn't actually cry shame. - Quite so, Minister. 224 00:12:21,612 --> 00:12:26,322 - Right, I think that's it then? - There are two more things... 225 00:12:26,492 --> 00:12:29,484 This is yourdiary fornextweek, Minister. 226 00:12:29,652 --> 00:12:32,086 My diary? You didn't know I was coming. 227 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,924 Norwho'd win the election. 228 00:12:34,092 --> 00:12:37,368 - There'd be a Minister, Minister. - Don't start that again. 229 00:12:38,372 --> 00:12:40,761 Even though we didn't know itwould be you. 230 00:12:40,932 --> 00:12:43,492 Her Majesty does like the business of government 231 00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:46,212 to continue even when there are no politicians around. 232 00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:49,603 - Bit difficult surely? - Yes... and no. 233 00:12:51,172 --> 00:12:53,970 It's a busy week. Nine cabinet committees, 234 00:12:54,132 --> 00:12:56,202 the Annual dinner of the Law Institute. 235 00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:57,600 You will have to make a speech. 236 00:12:57,772 --> 00:13:00,969 Deputation from the British ComputerAssociation. 237 00:13:01,132 --> 00:13:03,851 Opening the National Union of Public Employers meeting. 238 00:13:04,012 --> 00:13:06,367 - Anotherspeech... - Wait a minute... 239 00:13:06,532 --> 00:13:09,444 - What about all the otherthings? - What otherthings? 240 00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:11,728 I'm on fourpolicy committees forthe party. 241 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,884 You won'twant to be putting partybefore country. 242 00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:17,125 No, no, of course not. 243 00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:20,170 I'll just fetch yourboxes, Minister. 244 00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:21,526 Boxes? Already. 245 00:13:21,692 --> 00:13:25,480 The last Ministerhad some work throughout the campaign, 246 00:13:25,652 --> 00:13:28,883 but I fear... well, it's not forme to criticise... 247 00:13:29,052 --> 00:13:32,328 - What do you mean? - It's a harsh thing to say. 248 00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:37,247 Some of the boxes actually came back with the work not done. 249 00:13:39,212 --> 00:13:41,407 If you complete the first four by Saturday, 250 00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:44,211 yourdriverwill deliver the othertwo. 251 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:48,491 Villa's at home to Liverpool. 252 00:13:48,652 --> 00:13:50,768 And I've got a surgery on Saturday. 253 00:13:50,932 --> 00:13:54,720 If we minimise it, you need only take the majorpolicy decisions. 254 00:13:54,892 --> 00:13:58,407 No, no. No. No. I take all the decisions round here. 255 00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:02,201 Now then what time shall I come in on Monday? 256 00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:04,442 You'll catch the 7.45 train from New Street, 257 00:14:04,612 --> 00:14:07,331 and yourdriver will meet you at Euston. 258 00:14:07,492 --> 00:14:10,529 If I could just put in these draft proposals. 259 00:14:10,692 --> 00:14:13,684 And here, this is yourkey, Minister. 260 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,729 Out of my way. I've had enough of this. 261 00:14:15,892 --> 00:14:17,962 - You can't go in there. - Just try and stop me. 262 00:14:18,132 --> 00:14:21,010 - Jim, what's going on? - Frank, where've you been? 263 00:14:21,172 --> 00:14:24,721 - Stuck in the waiting room. - We are in private conference. 264 00:14:24,892 --> 00:14:28,009 - Then I should be here, too. - Calm down, Frank. 265 00:14:28,172 --> 00:14:31,721 Humphrey, Frank has got to have an office ofhis own. 266 00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:33,723 - Certainly, if you insist. - I do insist. 267 00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:38,522 I do think we have some spare office space in Walthamstow. 268 00:14:40,852 --> 00:14:42,968 - Walthamstow? - Yes, it's surprising. 269 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009 The Government owns property all over London. 270 00:14:45,172 --> 00:14:47,845 - I don'twant to be there. - It's in a very nice part. 271 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:51,084 Walthamstow's a very nice place so I gather. 272 00:14:51,252 --> 00:14:53,163 - I need an office here. - Why's that? 273 00:14:53,332 --> 00:14:54,970 Yes, I agree with Frank. 274 00:14:55,332 --> 00:14:58,324 Bernard, we must find an office here for Mr. Weasel. 275 00:14:58,492 --> 00:14:59,845 Wiesel. 276 00:15:01,212 --> 00:15:03,885 Copies of all the papers that come to me go to Frank. 277 00:15:04,052 --> 00:15:05,052 - All? - All. 278 00:15:05,212 --> 00:15:06,884 It shall be done. 279 00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:09,441 All the appropriate papers. 280 00:15:18,812 --> 00:15:20,882 How's yournew Minister, Humphrey? 281 00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:23,361 Learning the rules very quicklyfora newboy. 282 00:15:23,532 --> 00:15:25,727 - How's yournew Cabinet? - No problem. 283 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,962 Similarto the last one. 284 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:32,607 Arnold, I hearthe American Ambassador's been spending 285 00:15:32,772 --> 00:15:34,922 a lot of time with the PM. 286 00:15:35,092 --> 00:15:36,844 - Yes. - Defence ortrade? 287 00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:38,127 Both. 288 00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:40,248 The aerospace systems contract? 289 00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:43,563 Ssh. Don'twant the cabinet to hearabout it yet. 290 00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:47,645 This aerospace thingumy would be 291 00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:50,167 rathera coup forthe PM, wouldn't it? 292 00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:53,642 Yes, now the new PM will take the credit. 293 00:15:53,812 --> 00:15:56,167 Sorry to intrude SirArnold, Sir Humphrey, 294 00:15:56,332 --> 00:15:59,005 if you could just OK the Minister's speech, 295 00:15:59,172 --> 00:16:00,969 I can get it straight to the House. 296 00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:03,521 Yes, of course. Like to join us? 297 00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:07,207 Oh, thank you, so long as I'm not too long. 298 00:16:07,372 --> 00:16:09,363 Get yourself a cup of coffee. 299 00:16:13,252 --> 00:16:16,324 So itwould be rather an embarrassment to the PM, 300 00:16:16,492 --> 00:16:20,485 wouldn't it? if a hypothetical Ministerwere to rock 301 00:16:20,652 --> 00:16:22,643 the Anglo American boat? 302 00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,404 Grave embarrassment. 303 00:16:24,572 --> 00:16:25,721 How grave? 304 00:16:25,892 --> 00:16:28,167 Man overboard, I should think. 305 00:16:28,692 --> 00:16:32,924 Enough to cut short a promising new Ministerial career? 306 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,684 No question. 307 00:16:40,052 --> 00:16:41,610 Pull up a chair, Bernard... 308 00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:45,526 And tell us what you think of ournew Minister. 309 00:16:45,692 --> 00:16:47,444 Well absolutelyfine. 310 00:16:47,612 --> 00:16:51,890 Yes, we'll have him housetrained in no time. 311 00:16:52,292 --> 00:16:54,089 He swallowed the whole diary, 312 00:16:54,252 --> 00:16:57,130 and I gatherhe did his boxes like a lamb lastweekend? 313 00:16:57,292 --> 00:16:58,327 Yes. Yes he did. 314 00:16:58,492 --> 00:17:01,131 We must head him off this Open Government nonsense. 315 00:17:01,452 --> 00:17:04,444 We were calling the White Paper "Open Government". 316 00:17:04,612 --> 00:17:07,684 Always dispose of the difficult bit in the title. 317 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,082 Does less harm there than in the text. 318 00:17:10,252 --> 00:17:12,561 The less you intend to do about something, 319 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,723 the more you have to talk about it. 320 00:17:14,892 --> 00:17:17,281 What's wrong with open government? 321 00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:20,603 Why shouldn't the public know more about what's going on? 322 00:17:21,132 --> 00:17:23,009 Are you serious? 323 00:17:24,332 --> 00:17:28,120 Well, I mean it's the Minister's policy, afterall. 324 00:17:28,292 --> 00:17:30,522 It's a contradiction in terms. 325 00:17:30,692 --> 00:17:32,967 You can be open oryou can have government. 326 00:17:33,132 --> 00:17:38,445 But surely the citizens of a democracy have a right to know. 327 00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:41,922 No. They have a right to be ignorant. 328 00:17:42,532 --> 00:17:44,488 Knowledge only means complicity and guilt. 329 00:17:44,652 --> 00:17:46,688 Ignorance has a certain dignity. 330 00:17:46,852 --> 00:17:48,444 But if the Ministerwants... 331 00:17:48,612 --> 00:17:50,682 You don't just give people what they want, 332 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,604 if it's not good forthem. 333 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:55,525 Do you give brandy to an alcoholic? 334 00:17:56,252 --> 00:17:59,608 Thatway people don't know what you are doing wrong. 335 00:18:02,172 --> 00:18:05,926 I am the Minister's Private Secretary, and ifhe wants... 336 00:18:06,092 --> 00:18:10,165 You must not help him to make a fool ofhimself. 337 00:18:10,332 --> 00:18:12,129 Look at the Ministers we've had. 338 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:15,284 They would have been a laughing stock 339 00:18:15,452 --> 00:18:19,843 had it not been forthe most rigid secrecy about theirdoings. 340 00:18:20,412 --> 00:18:22,448 What do you propose to do? 341 00:18:24,052 --> 00:18:26,441 - Can you keep a secret? - Of course. 342 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,410 So can I. 343 00:18:33,252 --> 00:18:36,085 Excuse me, I have to make a phone call. 344 00:18:38,012 --> 00:18:42,210 Well, I'd betterbe getting this back to the Minister. 345 00:18:44,812 --> 00:18:48,282 Martin. Has the weasel had a copy of the invoice 346 00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:50,807 forthe new American addressing machines? 347 00:18:50,972 --> 00:18:53,167 I thought you said it was sensitive. 348 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:55,607 So it is. Get it to him today. 349 00:18:55,772 --> 00:19:00,800 Oh, and Martin, let him find it nearthe bottom of the pile. 350 00:19:06,332 --> 00:19:07,606 Jim, Jim. 351 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,603 - Yes. - Look what I've found. 352 00:19:09,852 --> 00:19:13,242 We've got them by the short and curlies. 353 00:19:13,412 --> 00:19:16,006 We've got Sir Humphrey Bloody Appleby 354 00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:18,322 and Mr. Toffee Nosed Snooty Wolley 355 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,960 just where we want them. See this? 356 00:19:21,132 --> 00:19:23,362 This innocent-looking piece of paper. 357 00:19:23,532 --> 00:19:25,409 Political dynamite. 358 00:19:25,572 --> 00:19:28,132 Calm down. What are you talking about? 359 00:19:29,172 --> 00:19:33,848 This is an invoice for 1.000 computervideo display terminals. 360 00:19:34,012 --> 00:19:38,290 At 10.000 pounds each, that is, ten milion pounds. 361 00:19:38,452 --> 00:19:39,965 So? 362 00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:44,730 Made by the Pittsburgh Manufacturing Corporation Inc., 363 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,611 - Imported from America? - I know. 364 00:19:47,772 --> 00:19:50,332 Butwe make computerperipherals in this country. 365 00:19:50,492 --> 00:19:52,960 - In my constituency. - I know! 366 00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:55,447 - What about unemployment? - I know! 367 00:19:56,332 --> 00:19:58,129 This must be stopped. 368 00:20:01,292 --> 00:20:04,489 - Sir Humphrey to see... oh sorry. - Oh no. No, come in. 369 00:20:04,652 --> 00:20:06,768 I want to see you both, come on. 370 00:20:06,932 --> 00:20:08,570 Sir Humphrey, take a seat. 371 00:20:08,732 --> 00:20:10,051 Thank you, Minister. 372 00:20:10,212 --> 00:20:13,966 Now then, Frank here has just discovered this contract 373 00:20:14,132 --> 00:20:16,885 forthe import of ten million pound's worth 374 00:20:17,052 --> 00:20:19,361 of video display terminals, from America. 375 00:20:19,532 --> 00:20:21,124 May I see? 376 00:20:23,772 --> 00:20:27,003 Oh yes. Forthe whole Civil Service in Whitehall. 377 00:20:27,532 --> 00:20:30,046 - But they're not British. - That is true. 378 00:20:30,372 --> 00:20:33,250 - We make them in this country. - Not of the same quality. 379 00:20:33,412 --> 00:20:36,085 Betterquality. In my constituency. 380 00:20:36,812 --> 00:20:40,441 - We were advised... - This contract must be stopped. 381 00:20:40,612 --> 00:20:44,730 It's beyond my power. This can only be cancelled by the Treasury. 382 00:20:44,892 --> 00:20:45,927 Why's that? 383 00:20:46,092 --> 00:20:49,129 Would be a majorpolicy change forthe Civil Service 384 00:20:49,292 --> 00:20:52,489 to cancel contracts, especially with overseas suppliers. 385 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,324 If you'd like to take it up with the Cabinet. 386 00:20:54,492 --> 00:20:57,211 How am I to face my constituency party? 387 00:20:57,692 --> 00:20:59,683 Why need they know? 388 00:20:59,932 --> 00:21:02,127 Why need anybody know? 389 00:21:03,052 --> 00:21:05,282 We can see that it nevergets out. 390 00:21:05,452 --> 00:21:08,046 - Open Government. - That's right. 391 00:21:08,212 --> 00:21:11,204 - It must be published. - That's right. 392 00:21:12,132 --> 00:21:13,360 Why? 393 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:15,370 Well... er... 394 00:21:16,012 --> 00:21:18,048 - Why, Frank? - The manifesto. 395 00:21:18,212 --> 00:21:20,601 And yourpredecessor will look like a traitor. 396 00:21:20,772 --> 00:21:24,003 - Two unanswerable reasons. - You didn't bargain forthis! 397 00:21:24,172 --> 00:21:25,764 You're not suggesting 398 00:21:25,932 --> 00:21:29,561 that the Ministershould make a positive reference 399 00:21:29,732 --> 00:21:33,122 to this confidential transaction in a speech? 400 00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:35,450 Speech. That's it. 401 00:21:35,612 --> 00:21:39,969 Jim, what about the speech to the Union of office Employees? 402 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,930 I'll tell them about this scandalous contract. 403 00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:44,923 And we'll release it to the press today. 404 00:21:45,092 --> 00:21:47,083 - Who's running the country now? - Well... yes. 405 00:21:47,252 --> 00:21:49,208 - You object? - It might be regrettable, 406 00:21:49,372 --> 00:21:52,250 - if we upset the Americans. - The Americans. 407 00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:55,165 It's time they lose theircommercial complacency. 408 00:21:55,332 --> 00:21:59,086 We must think of the British poor, not the American rich! 409 00:21:59,252 --> 00:22:01,049 If that is yourexpress wish, 410 00:22:01,212 --> 00:22:04,170 the Departmentwill back you, up to the hilt. 411 00:22:04,332 --> 00:22:05,651 That is my express wish. 412 00:22:05,812 --> 00:22:08,929 I'd bettercirculate the speech forclearance. 413 00:22:09,092 --> 00:22:11,322 It does not involve any otherdepartment. 414 00:22:11,492 --> 00:22:15,849 Open Government demands thatwe include ourcolleagues, 415 00:22:16,012 --> 00:22:18,367 as well as ourfriends in Fleet Street. 416 00:22:18,532 --> 00:22:21,285 - Oh yes, that's fairenough. - I'm not sure. 417 00:22:21,452 --> 00:22:23,647 Thank you. And Humphrey... 418 00:22:23,812 --> 00:22:26,201 See that goes straight to the press. 419 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,731 We shall serve yourbest interests. 420 00:22:30,652 --> 00:22:31,687 Thank you. 421 00:22:32,732 --> 00:22:34,165 Now then... 422 00:22:35,172 --> 00:22:36,924 Let me see. 423 00:22:38,532 --> 00:22:43,526 We've made a pledge to the people about open government. 424 00:22:43,692 --> 00:22:45,569 So let's have some. 425 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:48,963 I have discovered that the previous government 426 00:22:49,132 --> 00:22:52,807 signed a contract to import office equipment 427 00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:55,725 - foruse by the Civil Service... - Bureaucracy! 428 00:22:55,892 --> 00:22:58,281 Used by the Civil Service bureaucracy. 429 00:22:58,452 --> 00:23:02,001 So, we are being fobbed off with second rate American junk 430 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:04,925 by smart Aleck salesmen from Pittsburgh 431 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,526 while British factories stand empty 432 00:23:07,692 --> 00:23:10,525 and British workmen queue up forthe dole. 433 00:23:10,692 --> 00:23:14,401 - Unemployment benefit. - The dole, Bernard. 434 00:23:15,892 --> 00:23:20,249 "Much as I personally value the friendship of ourgreat cousins 435 00:23:20,412 --> 00:23:22,368 from across the sea". 436 00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:34,220 - Minister, something's come up. - Yes? 437 00:23:34,390 --> 00:23:36,950 - A minute from the PM's Office. - I'm prettybusy. 438 00:23:37,110 --> 00:23:39,544 - You ought to read this. - What does it say? 439 00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:42,622 The PM is planning a visit to Washington 440 00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:46,863 fora valuable Anglo American defence trade agreement. 441 00:23:47,030 --> 00:23:49,669 Its importance cannot be overestimated. 442 00:23:49,830 --> 00:23:52,219 Fine. Has my speech gone to the press? 443 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:54,506 I presume so, as you requested. 444 00:23:55,030 --> 00:23:58,545 I'm sorry, but all hell's just broken loose at NumberTen. 445 00:23:58,710 --> 00:24:01,543 They're asking why yourspeech didn't obtain clearance. 446 00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:04,270 - What did you say? - I mentioned open government. 447 00:24:04,430 --> 00:24:06,819 But it seemed to make things worse. 448 00:24:06,990 --> 00:24:09,948 The PM wants to see you in the House, right away. 449 00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:24,941 What's going to happen? 450 00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:29,261 The Prime Ministergiveth and he taketh away. 451 00:24:32,310 --> 00:24:35,382 Blessed be the name of the Prime Minister. 452 00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:52,464 Hello, Vic... 453 00:24:52,630 --> 00:24:55,224 Sir Humphrey Appleby, Vic Gould, ourChiefWhip. 454 00:24:55,390 --> 00:24:58,188 You really are a pain in the arse. 455 00:24:59,710 --> 00:25:01,587 The PM's going up the wall. 456 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:02,978 Hitting the roof. 457 00:25:03,150 --> 00:25:05,789 You can't go around making speeches like that. 458 00:25:06,110 --> 00:25:07,748 It's Open Government. 459 00:25:07,910 --> 00:25:10,344 - Shut up, Weasel. - Wiesel! 460 00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:13,661 But Open Governmentwas the main plank in ourmanifesto. 461 00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:17,106 - The PM believes in it too. - Open, yes. But not gaping. 462 00:25:17,270 --> 00:25:21,229 In politics you have to say things with tact, you berk! 463 00:25:22,150 --> 00:25:24,141 And when to say nothing at all. 464 00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:27,063 - How long you been a Minister? - Week and half. 465 00:25:27,670 --> 00:25:30,946 You will appear in the Guinness book of records. 466 00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:33,907 I can see the headlines already. 467 00:25:34,070 --> 00:25:36,061 "Cabinet split on U. S. Trade. 468 00:25:36,230 --> 00:25:38,824 Hacker leads revolt against Prime Minister. 469 00:25:38,990 --> 00:25:40,946 That's what you want, is it? 470 00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:46,141 Ah, SirArnold, what news? 471 00:25:46,310 --> 00:25:48,870 That speech is causing the PM some distress. 472 00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:51,066 Has it been released to the Press? 473 00:25:51,230 --> 00:25:55,018 Well, the Ministergave express instructions fornoon. 474 00:25:55,190 --> 00:25:57,624 - Isn't that right? - I'm appalled at you, Humphrey. 475 00:25:57,790 --> 00:26:01,942 How could you let the Minister put himself in this position? 476 00:26:02,110 --> 00:26:04,066 We believe in open government. 477 00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:08,064 We want to open the windows. Isn't that right, Minister? 478 00:26:08,230 --> 00:26:09,709 It's good party stuff, 479 00:26:09,870 --> 00:26:13,226 but it puts the PM in a very difficult situation. 480 00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:15,267 What about Open Government? 481 00:26:15,670 --> 00:26:19,299 This seems to be the closed season foropen government. 482 00:26:20,670 --> 00:26:23,662 Do you want to give thought 483 00:26:23,830 --> 00:26:26,344 to a draft letterof resignation? 484 00:26:26,510 --> 00:26:27,738 Just in case... 485 00:26:30,910 --> 00:26:33,060 Can'twe hush it up? 486 00:26:33,510 --> 00:26:36,661 - Hush it up? - Yes, hush it up. 487 00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:40,221 You mean... suppress it? 488 00:26:40,430 --> 00:26:41,943 Yes, I suppose I do. 489 00:26:42,110 --> 00:26:45,500 You mean thatwithin the framework of the guidelines 490 00:26:45,670 --> 00:26:48,787 about open goverment that you have laid down, 491 00:26:48,950 --> 00:26:52,226 you're suggesting we should adopt a more flexible posture? 492 00:26:52,390 --> 00:26:54,585 Am I? Oh yes. Yes. 493 00:26:54,750 --> 00:26:56,786 About the press release... 494 00:26:56,950 --> 00:27:01,023 A development could precipitate a reappraisal of ourposition. 495 00:27:01,190 --> 00:27:04,944 We forgot the interdepartmental clearance procedure. 496 00:27:05,590 --> 00:27:08,502 The supplementary stop order came into effect. 497 00:27:08,990 --> 00:27:12,346 So, yourspeech hasn't gone to the Press. 498 00:27:13,830 --> 00:27:16,344 It's only gone to the PM's Private Office 499 00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:20,298 and the Duty Officerhad no instructions to pass it out 500 00:27:20,470 --> 00:27:23,109 - without clearance. - But how come? 501 00:27:24,150 --> 00:27:26,744 The fault is entirely mine, Minister. 502 00:27:27,390 --> 00:27:30,666 The holding up of press releases dates back to 503 00:27:30,830 --> 00:27:32,786 before open government, 504 00:27:32,950 --> 00:27:35,862 and I unaccountably omitted to rescind it. 505 00:27:36,350 --> 00:27:40,502 - I hope you forgive this lapse. - Well, yes, of course. 506 00:27:41,430 --> 00:27:44,342 - That's quite all right. - Thank you, Minister. 507 00:27:44,510 --> 00:27:46,660 Afterall, we all make mistakes. 508 00:27:47,350 --> 00:27:48,783 Yes, Minister.