1 00:00:42,979 --> 00:00:45,619 Humphrey, what are you havering about? 2 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:49,250 I'm simply saying we can't take the Minister's approval for granted. 3 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:52,013 The Italian government have offered a massive contract 4 00:00:52,179 --> 00:00:55,455 to manufacture propanol at our Merseyside plant, 5 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:59,932 which means saving a plant we were going to have to close, 6 00:01:00,099 --> 00:01:03,888 saving jobs, earning export royalties. 7 00:01:04,059 --> 00:01:08,291 - He has to give us the go-ahead. - But if the Minister thinks... 8 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,131 Ministers don't think! 9 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,050 Don't talk to me about Ministers. 10 00:01:14,219 --> 00:01:17,768 I've been chairman of British Chemical Corporation for ten years, 11 00:01:17,939 --> 00:01:21,568 and in that time dealt with nineteen different Ministers. 12 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:24,174 They've usually not had time to see me, 13 00:01:24,339 --> 00:01:29,289 because they're too busy bribing Trade Union leaders not to strike. 14 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:32,611 - They've never bribed anybody. - Oh, no? 15 00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:36,250 "Have a quango, Tom; a knighthood, Dick; a peerage, Harry." 16 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:40,094 - But the Minister's worried... - Of course he's worried! 17 00:01:40,259 --> 00:01:45,379 If I'd never done anything to worry those vote-grabbing baby-kissing jellies, 18 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,008 we'd have gone down the tube years ago! 19 00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:52,138 - But propanol contains metadioxin. - So what? 20 00:01:52,299 --> 00:01:56,054 Dioxin was released at Seveso. It can damage the foetus. 21 00:01:56,219 --> 00:02:00,497 That's dioxin, for Christ's sake! Metadioxin is an inert compound. 22 00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:03,936 It's been given a clean bill of health by Washington. 23 00:02:04,099 --> 00:02:07,375 The Henderson Committee, which you set up, will give it the OK, too. 24 00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:11,374 I know, Wally, but the name could be politically sensitive. 25 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:14,372 But I've taken metadioxin out of the proposal. 26 00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:16,973 - I call it propanol. - Very wise of you. 27 00:02:17,139 --> 00:02:20,530 - You told me to. - Very wise of me! 28 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:26,536 But the Minister may raise no objections, it just needs tact. 29 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:30,214 Fine. In that case, there's no problem. 30 00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:36,137 I'll have a tactful word with Hacker and persuade the blancmange myself. 31 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,970 Don't take this amiss, Wally, 32 00:02:40,139 --> 00:02:46,089 but I might just be able to manage without your unique... brand of tact. 33 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:50,457 - This is wonderful news, Humphrey. - Yes, Minister. 34 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:56,092 We turn a run-down plant from loss-maker into a profitable unit, 35 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,093 the largest manufacturer of propanol in Europe. 36 00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:02,888 - Yes, Minister. - Equipment made in UK factories. 37 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:06,973 Income for the local authorities, foreign exchange from exports. 38 00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:09,370 - Too good to be true! - It is true. 39 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:13,692 Good old propanol... What is propanol, actually? 40 00:03:14,259 --> 00:03:18,651 It used to be made with dioxin until the Seveso explosion, 41 00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:23,450 then they developed a safe compound, metadioxin. 42 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:28,170 The Italian factory is sealed off so they've asked the BCC to make it. 43 00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:30,570 - An ill wind. - Quite so. 44 00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:34,015 - But this stuff is perfectly safe? - Perfectly. 45 00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:38,571 Weak Ministers might have doubts over the similarity of the names, 46 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:43,255 but no one with any backbone would be deflected from such a beneficial project 47 00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,650 on such a useless pretext. 48 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:49,455 I know just the sort of Minister you mean. Political jellyfish. 49 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,452 Terrified of taking any decision. 50 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:55,612 After all, every decision upsets someone, doesn't it? 51 00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:59,897 Good government is doing what's right, not just what's popular. 52 00:04:00,059 --> 00:04:02,893 - Absolutely, Minister. - But this will be popular? 53 00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:06,735 - Very popular. - Humphrey, I want to be sure. 54 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:11,655 You not asking me to make a courageous decision, are you? 55 00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:13,936 Of course not, Minister. 56 00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:17,137 Good, good. Should I take it to Cabinet? 57 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,973 - I think the less said, the better. - Why? 58 00:04:20,139 --> 00:04:22,574 Although metadioxin is totally harmless, 59 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:26,049 the name may cause anxiety in ignorant minds. 60 00:04:26,219 --> 00:04:29,929 Humphrey, you're talking about my Cabinet colleagues. 61 00:04:30,099 --> 00:04:32,055 I was referring to the Friends of the Earth. 62 00:04:32,219 --> 00:04:33,539 (PHONE RINGS) 63 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:38,174 Yes? Joan Littler has arrived, MP for Liverpool South West. 64 00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:39,978 Know what she wants? 65 00:04:40,139 --> 00:04:44,496 She's the Prime Minister's PPS, and the new plant is in her constituency. 66 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:49,528 - Show her in. If you'll excuse us? - The PM's PPS? I think I'll stay. 67 00:04:50,179 --> 00:04:52,740 Joan Littler, member for Liverpool South West. 68 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:56,653 - Do you know Humphrey Appleby? - Delighted to meet you. 69 00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,616 Do take a seat. 70 00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:01,294 - Thank you, Bernard. - Bernard... 71 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,460 Now, what can I do for you? 72 00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:10,170 Jim, what's the British Chemical Corporation up to in my constituency? 73 00:05:10,339 --> 00:05:14,969 They'll be announcing a very exciting project, with new jobs. 74 00:05:15,139 --> 00:05:18,814 Yes... but there's some very worrying rumours. 75 00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:21,447 - Such as? - Rumours of dangerous chemicals. 76 00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,974 All chemicals are dangerous... 77 00:05:24,139 --> 00:05:28,451 The Minister means the rumours are unfounded, no cause for alarm. 78 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:33,295 Can I have your assurance there'll be a full public enquiry? 79 00:05:34,019 --> 00:05:35,499 Not a bad idea... 80 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:40,130 The Minister was about to say there's no need for an enquiry. 81 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:46,010 - A report will be issued shortly. - I came here to talk to Jim. 82 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,854 - You are talking to him. - But he's not answering, you are! 83 00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:53,454 - The Minister and I are of one mind. - Whose? Yours? 84 00:05:56,500 --> 00:06:01,494 I've heard this factory made the chemical that poisoned Seveso! 85 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,776 - That's not true. - Isn't it? 86 00:06:03,939 --> 00:06:07,853 The chemical in Seveso was dioxin. This is metadioxin. 87 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:11,490 - That's virtually the same thing. - Just a similar name. 88 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:15,095 It's the same name with "meta" stuck on the front. 89 00:06:15,259 --> 00:06:19,458 - That makes all the difference. - Why? What does "meta" mean? 90 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:25,572 - What does "meta" mean, Humphrey? - "With", "after" or "beyond". 91 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:30,768 From the Greek, of course. "After" dioxin or "beyond" dioxin. 92 00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:35,013 If it's in the accusative, it's "beyond or after", 93 00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:39,138 with the genitive it's "with", as in Latin, as you no doubt recall. 94 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:42,769 The ablative is used for words needing "with" to precede them. 95 00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:46,818 But of course, there isn't an ablative in Greek. 96 00:06:46,979 --> 00:06:49,972 - Well done, Bernard. - Thank you. 97 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,976 - You see? - Not exactly, no. 98 00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:59,610 - I thought that was perfectly plain. - What I insist on knowing 99 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:04,170 is what is the actual difference between dioxin and metadioxin. 100 00:07:04,339 --> 00:07:08,412 Metadioxin is an inert compound of dioxin. 101 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:11,333 I think I follow that, Humphrey, 102 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,969 but could you explain it a little more clearly? 103 00:07:15,139 --> 00:07:18,415 - In what sense, Minister? - What does "inert" mean? 104 00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:21,219 It means it's not... 105 00:07:22,339 --> 00:07:24,137 ...ert. 106 00:07:27,339 --> 00:07:29,853 Wouldn't "ert" a fly. 107 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:34,447 - What did you say, Bernard? - Nothing, Minister. 108 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,169 - What does that mean in practical terms? - You mean chemically? 109 00:07:38,339 --> 00:07:42,049 - Yes, chemically. - What does it mean chemically? 110 00:07:42,219 --> 00:07:45,132 I can't explain it in layman's language... 111 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,814 - Do you know any chemistry? - Of course not, Minister. 112 00:07:48,979 --> 00:07:51,892 I was in the scholarship form. 113 00:07:52,059 --> 00:07:53,572 Classics. 114 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:57,129 - And what's a compound? - Don't you know any chemistry? 115 00:07:57,299 --> 00:07:59,973 No. Do you? 116 00:08:00,139 --> 00:08:04,691 - We ought to, oughtn't we? - A compound is a... 117 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:10,456 You know what compound interest is? Yes, well, a jolly good thing. 118 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,372 That's the sort of thing a compound is. 119 00:08:15,019 --> 00:08:16,499 That's it, then. 120 00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:20,937 To sum up, I think we're all of the same mind, broadly speaking. 121 00:08:21,099 --> 00:08:23,818 We're ready to go ahead. 122 00:08:23,979 --> 00:08:26,972 I've said no such thing! 123 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:31,379 The only difference is in the name, 124 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:35,419 dioxin and metadioxin, like... Littler and Hitler. 125 00:08:36,019 --> 00:08:39,012 Not that you're like Hitler because your name's similar! 126 00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:41,735 - That's not the point. - What is the point? 127 00:08:41,899 --> 00:08:44,812 The point is this factory is in my constituency! 128 00:08:44,979 --> 00:08:48,450 It'll be good for the constituency, more jobs, more money. 129 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:52,329 The only people we'll offend are a few environmentalists. 130 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:55,651 At most, it won't cost us more than 100 votes. 131 00:08:56,339 --> 00:09:00,049 My majority is 91. 132 00:09:00,219 --> 00:09:03,848 Not to mention the three marginal constituencies bordering mine! 133 00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,975 Could I intervene just once more? 134 00:09:06,139 --> 00:09:09,768 The case for the BCC manufacturing propanol is overwhelming. 135 00:09:09,939 --> 00:09:11,259 Overwhelming. 136 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:15,299 Great jobs, increased income and secure, profitable export orders. 137 00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:17,018 - Export orders. - Furthermore... 138 00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:20,536 the drug has been declared safe by Washington, 139 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:23,009 - Washington. - We're preparing a report, too. 140 00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:25,010 The Minister is confident 141 00:09:25,179 --> 00:09:29,253 that this scheme is to the advantage of your constituency and the country. 142 00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:33,049 If it proves not to be safe, I won't allow its manufacture here. 143 00:09:33,219 --> 00:09:37,929 But if the report says it is safe, that'd be absurd, wouldn't it? 144 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,656 I'm not satisfied with that, Jim. 145 00:09:41,820 --> 00:09:45,095 Remember that the party made you an MP, 146 00:09:45,259 --> 00:09:49,856 and you can't be a Minister if your party loses the next election. 147 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,054 You still don't look happy, Minister. 148 00:09:56,219 --> 00:10:00,576 Suppose the report isn't as conclusive as you say. 149 00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:04,095 - Oughtn't I to meet this Henderson? - No need. 150 00:10:04,259 --> 00:10:08,094 He's a brilliant Cambridge biochemist, chosen with some care. 151 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:11,536 Suppose he produces a cautious, wait-and-see report? 152 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,692 We don't publish it. We use the American report instead. 153 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,497 Fine! 154 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:21,533 - You mean we suppress it? - No, we just don't publish it. 155 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:26,170 - What's the difference? - All the difference in the world! 156 00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:28,978 Suppression is the instrument of dictatorships. 157 00:10:29,139 --> 00:10:32,052 We don't talk of that sort of thing in a free country. 158 00:10:32,219 --> 00:10:34,653 We take a democratic decision not to publish. 159 00:10:36,019 --> 00:10:39,773 Fine. What am I to say to the press and parliament? 160 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:43,057 "We hoped the report would say it was a wise decision." 161 00:10:43,219 --> 00:10:46,848 "But we've cocked it up so we'll pretend the report doesn't exist." 162 00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:49,295 - Very droll. - What would I say? 163 00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:52,371 There's a Government procedure for suppress... 164 00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:55,451 ...deciding not to publish reports. - Really? 165 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,814 You simply discredit them. 166 00:10:57,979 --> 00:10:59,970 Good heavens! 167 00:11:01,299 --> 00:11:03,052 How? 168 00:11:04,099 --> 00:11:07,808 Stage One, give your reasons in terms of the public interest. 169 00:11:07,979 --> 00:11:12,370 - Hint at security considerations... - Mind if I make a note? 170 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:17,567 This could be useful for discrediting some of the party's idiotic research documents. 171 00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:23,053 The report could put pressure on Government and be misinterpreted. 172 00:11:23,219 --> 00:11:26,929 Anything could be misinterpreted. The Sermon on the Mount could be! 173 00:11:27,099 --> 00:11:33,095 Indeed, it could be argued the Sermon should not have been published. 174 00:11:33,979 --> 00:11:36,210 A most irresponsible document. 175 00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:38,848 All that stuff about the meek inheriting the earth 176 00:11:39,019 --> 00:11:43,058 could do irreparable damage to the defence budget. 177 00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:45,495 I suppose you're right. What else? 178 00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:50,130 Say it's better to wait for a more detailed study over longer time. 179 00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,572 - Suppose there isn't one? - Commission one. 180 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:56,094 Gives you even more time to play with. 181 00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:59,808 - All this is Stage One? - Yes. In Stage Two... 182 00:11:59,979 --> 00:12:02,414 discredit the evidence you're not publishing. 183 00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:07,210 - How, if you're not publishing it? - It's easier if it's not published. 184 00:12:07,379 --> 00:12:10,451 Do it by press leaks, of course, not directly. 185 00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:13,975 Say it leaves important questions unanswered, 186 00:12:14,139 --> 00:12:15,937 the evidence is inconclusive, 187 00:12:16,099 --> 00:12:19,058 the figures are open to other interpretations, 188 00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:22,735 that certain findings are contradictory, 189 00:12:22,899 --> 00:12:26,653 and that some of the main conclusions have been questioned. 190 00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:30,095 - Suppose they haven't? - Then question them! 191 00:12:30,259 --> 00:12:32,170 Then they have! 192 00:12:32,979 --> 00:12:36,290 But you'd have to go through it with a fine-toothed comb. 193 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:40,612 No, no, no. You'd say all these things without reading it. 194 00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:42,896 There's always some questions unanswered. 195 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:46,177 - Such as? - The ones that weren't asked. 196 00:12:47,219 --> 00:12:49,973 - That's Stage Two? - Yes. In Stage Three... 197 00:12:50,139 --> 00:12:52,893 you undermine recommendations. 198 00:12:53,059 --> 00:12:55,573 "Not a basis for long-term decisions." 199 00:12:55,740 --> 00:13:00,973 "Not sufficient information on which to base a valid assessment." 200 00:13:01,139 --> 00:13:05,133 "Not really any need for a fundamental rethink of policies." 201 00:13:05,299 --> 00:13:09,293 "Broadly speaking, endorses current practice." It's easy. 202 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:11,290 - That works? - Nearly always. 203 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,213 - Suppose it doesn't? - Move on to Stage Four. 204 00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:19,134 - Stage Four? - Discredit the man who produced the report. 205 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,892 Off the record. 206 00:13:21,059 --> 00:13:25,098 Say that he's harbouring a grudge against the Government 207 00:13:25,259 --> 00:13:30,129 or, better still, that he used to be a consultant to a multi-national company. 208 00:13:30,299 --> 00:13:33,894 - Supposing he wasn't? - Then he's hoping to be. 209 00:13:34,059 --> 00:13:36,778 Everybody's hoping to be a consultant to a multi-national. 210 00:13:36,939 --> 00:13:42,219 Or he's trying for a knighthood or vice-chancellorship. 211 00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:44,973 There are endless possibilities. 212 00:13:45,139 --> 00:13:46,539 Excuse me. 213 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:50,978 The press officer rang to say there's an item on the news. 214 00:13:51,139 --> 00:13:53,370 Yes, yes. Why wasn't I told? 215 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:56,737 The BCC aren't obliged to clear it with us. 216 00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:01,649 ... a row has blown up on Merseyside 217 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:05,893 about a plan for the BCC to manufacture propanol 218 00:14:06,059 --> 00:14:08,290 under licence for the Italian government. 219 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:11,133 Apparently, propanol contains metadioxin, 220 00:14:11,299 --> 00:14:14,769 which the BCC claims to be completely harmless. 221 00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:17,407 It is a compound of dioxin, 222 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:23,655 the chemical released after an explosion at Seveso in July 1976, 223 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:27,017 spreading poisonous dust over a 4-mile radius. 224 00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:33,735 0n Merseyside, protesters voiced their opposition to the BCC scheme 225 00:14:33,899 --> 00:14:35,811 outside the factory gates. 226 00:14:35,979 --> 00:14:38,972 (CR0WD SH0UTING AND JEERING) 227 00:14:41,979 --> 00:14:44,857 I'll tell you what we'll do. 228 00:14:45,019 --> 00:14:49,013 Sir Wally can take his poison chemicals somewhere elsel 229 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:51,250 I've a daughter expecting a baby, 230 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:55,811 and my grandchild's not gonna be deformed for them bloody Eyeties' sakel 231 00:14:57,460 --> 00:15:01,737 If the Government cared about people, they'd never allow itl 232 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:06,612 The BCC said a report on the safety of propanol 233 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,295 was due to be published shortly by the Department of Administrative Affairs. 234 00:15:10,939 --> 00:15:13,692 And now abroad again... 235 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:20,459 - This metadioxin is dynamite. - It's totally harmless. 236 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,849 Only chemically, not politically. 237 00:15:23,019 --> 00:15:26,490 - It can't hurt anyone. - It could finish me off! 238 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:31,174 Yes? Minister, Number 10 on the phone. 239 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:35,412 The political office - the PM's just seen the news. 240 00:15:42,379 --> 00:15:44,370 Hello, Jim here! 241 00:15:45,219 --> 00:15:47,450 Yes, I just saw that, too. 242 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:51,897 We don't need to be too worried about a little local difficulty. 243 00:15:52,059 --> 00:15:55,768 Not in view of the jobs and exports... 244 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,491 No, not many jobs. 245 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,375 Ninety, I think. 246 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,336 Yes, but... 247 00:16:03,899 --> 00:16:05,696 You do, do you? 248 00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,816 Yes, well... 249 00:16:07,979 --> 00:16:11,973 I was coming round to that viewpoint myself. 250 00:16:17,979 --> 00:16:19,857 Humphrey... 251 00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:26,296 - Something just struck me. - I noticed. 252 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,736 There are arguments against this scheme. 253 00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:36,335 - Minister, you've already agreed... - It could lead to a loss of... 254 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,809 ...public confidence. - You mean votes? 255 00:16:39,979 --> 00:16:45,497 Votes? No, no. It's not the votes that are a consideration at all. 256 00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:48,254 But you see, it's the public will. 257 00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:50,138 This is a democracy... 258 00:16:50,299 --> 00:16:54,088 - and the people don't like it. - The people are ignorant and misguided. 259 00:16:54,259 --> 00:16:56,978 It was the people who elected me! 260 00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:02,256 In a week, the whole thing will have blown over, 261 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:06,857 and in a year's time, we'll have a safe and successful factory. 262 00:17:07,019 --> 00:17:08,577 A week's a long time in politics. 263 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,730 A year's a short time in Government. 264 00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:14,017 You're in Government, I'm in politics and the PM is not pleased. 265 00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:18,252 - With the greatest respect... - Going to insult me again? 266 00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,490 You're putting party before country. 267 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,969 Can't you think of a new cliché? 268 00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:28,054 Minister, a new cliché could be said to be a contradiction in terms. 269 00:17:28,219 --> 00:17:31,053 Humphrey, you lead a sheltered life. 270 00:17:31,219 --> 00:17:33,653 I intend to survive and I'm not crossing the PM. 271 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:38,609 Why must you be so concerned with climbing the greasy pole? 272 00:17:38,779 --> 00:17:41,247 The greasy pole is important. I have to climb it. 273 00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:43,330 Why? 274 00:17:44,059 --> 00:17:45,937 'Cause it's there! 275 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:52,295 The editor of the Times, please. Thank you, Bernard. 276 00:17:56,139 --> 00:17:58,973 How come the Times knows about the report before I do? 277 00:17:59,139 --> 00:18:02,176 - There's been a leak. - I know that! 278 00:18:02,339 --> 00:18:05,854 It was "Confidential". I only got a draft last night. 279 00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:08,328 - At least it wasn't "Restricted". - Why? 280 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,809 "Restricted" means it was in the papers yesterday. 281 00:18:11,979 --> 00:18:15,938 "Confidential" means it won't be in the papers till today. 282 00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:17,930 Who leaked this? Humphrey? 283 00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:21,171 - I'm sure he didn't, Minister. - Are you? 284 00:18:21,339 --> 00:18:24,571 - He probably didn't. - No? 285 00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:29,495 - It might have been someone else. - These leaks are a disgrace! 286 00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:33,618 - People think it's the politicians. - It has been known. 287 00:18:35,779 --> 00:18:39,488 In my opinion, we're far more leaked against than leaking. 288 00:18:40,299 --> 00:18:44,816 "Political cowardice to reject the BCC proposal... craven expediency." 289 00:18:44,979 --> 00:18:46,970 "Hacker has no choice." 290 00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:49,528 Humphrey thinks he's got me committed! 291 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:53,738 It's an unofficial leak of a draft report. You're committed to nothing. 292 00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,971 Does the report give you a way out? 293 00:18:57,819 --> 00:19:00,857 Sir Wally McFarlane is waiting to see you. 294 00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:04,455 All right. But he's wasting his time. 295 00:19:05,219 --> 00:19:08,609 - Come in, please, Sir Wally. - Thank you. Morning. 296 00:19:08,779 --> 00:19:11,214 - Morning. - May I join you, Minister? 297 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:16,413 - If you like. Do sit down. - Thank you, Jim. 298 00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:19,571 - Now... - Thank you, Bernard. 299 00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:23,894 Sorry about that. 300 00:19:24,059 --> 00:19:28,736 I see from the press the Henderson Report comes clearly on our side. 301 00:19:28,899 --> 00:19:33,928 - I've seen that, too. - That committee leaks like a sieve. 302 00:19:34,099 --> 00:19:38,491 So there's no real case for refusing permission for the new plant. 303 00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:41,971 - I'm not sure yet. - Now look, Jim... 304 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:47,009 We've been working on this for two years, it's very important. 305 00:19:47,179 --> 00:19:53,448 I'm the chairman, and I tell you as a chemist, metadioxin is safe. 306 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:55,929 You experts always think you're right. 307 00:19:56,099 --> 00:19:59,933 The more inexpert you are, the more likely you are to be right? 308 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,897 Ministers are not experts. 309 00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:05,176 They're chosen because they know nothing. 310 00:20:05,339 --> 00:20:07,490 You admit that? 311 00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:09,651 Nothing about technical details. 312 00:20:10,019 --> 00:20:14,649 Ministers must take a broader view, that's why I cannot commit yet. 313 00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:16,377 Look, Hacker! 314 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:20,692 This is the wrong decision and you know it. It's cowardly and craven! 315 00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:24,090 - I am not cowardly... - Sit down! 316 00:20:24,259 --> 00:20:29,413 You'll lose a few votes from a few people in those constituencies? 317 00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:31,696 - It's pathetic! - It's politics! 318 00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:33,179 Exactly! 319 00:20:33,339 --> 00:20:36,616 I'll be writing to the Secretary of State for Industry. 320 00:20:36,779 --> 00:20:40,089 I am prepared to resign if you block this one! 321 00:20:46,259 --> 00:20:49,491 How do you feel that went, Minister? 322 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:53,691 - We'll have to get another chairman. - Get another?! 323 00:20:53,859 --> 00:20:56,420 Nobody would accept a job like that! 324 00:20:56,580 --> 00:21:01,255 Nobody wants to be chairman of a nationalised industry! Instant ruin! 325 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:05,890 They may as well accept the golden handshake the day they start. 326 00:21:06,059 --> 00:21:09,654 - We'll find someone. - Some useless American geriatric. 327 00:21:09,819 --> 00:21:11,377 Not necessarily. 328 00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:14,770 How do you expect to find a decent replacement, 329 00:21:14,939 --> 00:21:18,693 when we forced his predecessor to resign for taking a sound decision, 330 00:21:18,859 --> 00:21:20,975 which we blocked for political reasons? 331 00:21:21,139 --> 00:21:24,973 - I have no choice. - A Minister can do what he likes. 332 00:21:25,139 --> 00:21:30,930 It's the people's will. I am their leader. I must follow them. 333 00:21:33,099 --> 00:21:35,010 My hands are clean. 334 00:21:35,179 --> 00:21:38,808 I thought it was rather difficult to keep one's hands clean 335 00:21:38,979 --> 00:21:41,368 while climbing the greasy pole. 336 00:21:43,099 --> 00:21:45,488 We must stop Wally making a fuss. 337 00:21:45,660 --> 00:21:48,457 Press conferences accusing me of lack of faith. 338 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:52,169 - Interviews on Panorama. - What am I to do? 339 00:21:52,339 --> 00:21:56,969 If I stop the scheme, the Times will accuse me of political cowardice. 340 00:21:57,139 --> 00:22:02,134 If I let it go ahead, the Mirror will say I'm murdering unborn babies. 341 00:22:02,299 --> 00:22:06,292 If only the report had any doubt about the safety of metadioxin. 342 00:22:06,460 --> 00:22:10,612 - Are you sure it doesn't, Minister? - Not as it stands. 343 00:22:10,779 --> 00:22:14,135 - Henderson's a Cambridge man? - Yes. 344 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:17,211 - Which college? - King's. Why? 345 00:22:17,899 --> 00:22:21,096 Nothing. Just wondered if it was my old college. 346 00:22:21,259 --> 00:22:24,456 Weren't you at the LSE? 347 00:22:25,979 --> 00:22:28,174 Yes, so I was. 348 00:22:28,339 --> 00:22:30,899 - Have you got his file? - It's with the report. 349 00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:33,573 - Got a Cambridge telephone...? - You do realise - 350 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:35,730 not that you have any such intention - 351 00:22:35,899 --> 00:22:39,973 but it would be most improper to influence an independent report of this nature? 352 00:22:40,139 --> 00:22:42,255 Most improper! Out of the question. 353 00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:46,379 Just it might be nice to pop down to have tea with my old friend, 354 00:22:46,540 --> 00:22:50,419 R.A. Crichton, Provost of King's. Get him on the phone. 355 00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:53,491 Yes, Minister. Get me King's College, Cambridge. 356 00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:58,370 Who knows? Professor Henderson might drop in for tea. 357 00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:01,054 That'd be a happy coincidence, wouldn't it? 358 00:23:01,219 --> 00:23:05,133 - Perfectly natural. - Nothing improper about that. 359 00:23:05,299 --> 00:23:08,814 - How can a coincidence be improper? - My feeling entirely. 360 00:23:08,979 --> 00:23:10,299 (PHONE RINGS) 361 00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:11,973 Yes? 362 00:23:13,339 --> 00:23:14,853 Lord Crichton, please. 363 00:23:25,859 --> 00:23:28,772 How's the move from the Commons to the Lords? 364 00:23:28,939 --> 00:23:32,295 Like moving from animals to vegetables. 365 00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:35,611 - Professor Henderson's here. - Good to see you. 366 00:23:35,779 --> 00:23:38,419 Come and meet an old friend, Jim Hacker. 367 00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:42,732 - Jim, this is Professor Henderson. - Professor Henderson! 368 00:23:42,899 --> 00:23:45,049 I didn't expect to see the Minister. 369 00:23:45,219 --> 00:23:49,179 - What a coincidence! - Yes, what a coincidence! 370 00:23:49,339 --> 00:23:51,615 - You know each other? - We haven't met. 371 00:23:51,779 --> 00:23:55,897 - I'm writing a report for him. - Well, what a coincidence. 372 00:23:56,059 --> 00:23:59,575 - Yes, what a coincidence! - Extraordinary coincidence. 373 00:23:59,740 --> 00:24:03,527 - You're happy with my report? - Absolutely. Delighted. 374 00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:07,612 - You must've worked very hard. - Most of it was done by Washington. 375 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:11,089 Excuse me, I'll go and help with the tea. 376 00:24:11,259 --> 00:24:14,774 Tell me, have you ever written a Government report before? 377 00:24:14,939 --> 00:24:19,171 - No. - Your name will be on it forever. 378 00:24:19,339 --> 00:24:20,658 "Henderson Report". 379 00:24:20,819 --> 00:24:24,528 - It's a kind of immortality. - I hadn't thought of it like that. 380 00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:28,576 - But if it were to go wrong... - Go wrong? 381 00:24:29,139 --> 00:24:33,769 If this metadioxin isn't as safe as you say... 382 00:24:33,939 --> 00:24:35,419 your career... 383 00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:38,013 Very courageous! 384 00:24:38,179 --> 00:24:42,411 None of the standard tests show any evidence of teratogenic toxicity. 385 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:47,295 - Standard tests? Quite. - What do you mean? 386 00:24:47,460 --> 00:24:52,214 Well, I was making a few notes on the train coming down. 387 00:24:52,379 --> 00:24:55,212 I'm not a biochemist, but it would appear 388 00:24:55,379 --> 00:25:00,692 that the US report leaves some important questions unanswered. 389 00:25:00,859 --> 00:25:04,738 Some of the evidence is inconclusive, some findings have been questioned, 390 00:25:04,899 --> 00:25:07,413 the figures are open to interpretation, 391 00:25:07,580 --> 00:25:13,018 and different results might come from a more detailed study. 392 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:17,651 - Obviously, but... - But if anything did go wrong, 393 00:25:17,819 --> 00:25:21,607 a delayed effect, the press would go straight to your report. 394 00:25:22,540 --> 00:25:27,010 And if it turned out that you'd ever done... 395 00:25:27,179 --> 00:25:31,219 ...laboratory trials for a multi-national drug company... 396 00:25:31,379 --> 00:25:35,134 - That was 15 years ago. - 14. 397 00:25:35,299 --> 00:25:37,654 You know what the press is like. 398 00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:41,893 No smoke without a fire. It could be a millstone! 399 00:25:42,059 --> 00:25:46,371 The popular press would be merciless, if anything went wrong: 400 00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:50,009 "Death Agony of Henderson Report Victims." 401 00:25:50,179 --> 00:25:52,090 Yes... 402 00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:53,658 Yes...! 403 00:25:54,779 --> 00:25:56,849 I don't know what to do! 404 00:25:57,019 --> 00:26:01,218 I can't alter the evidence, the report says it's a safe drug. 405 00:26:01,379 --> 00:26:05,134 - Quite. I see you have no choice. - Stop talking shop. 406 00:26:05,299 --> 00:26:09,292 Our Professor of Economics is dying to talk to you. 407 00:26:13,660 --> 00:26:17,971 You're not worried about this report? I've done lots of these things. 408 00:26:18,139 --> 00:26:22,611 It's the phrasing of the conclusion, that's all the press ever read. 409 00:26:22,779 --> 00:26:24,849 Now... how does it end? 410 00:26:25,019 --> 00:26:30,777 "On existing evidence, the committee can see no reason not to proceed." 411 00:26:30,939 --> 00:26:35,411 Well, it's just a question of a tidy bit of re-drafting. 412 00:26:35,580 --> 00:26:42,018 "While the committee feel there's no reason not to proceed on existing evidence, 413 00:26:42,179 --> 00:26:47,049 "it must be emphasised that metadioxin is a recent compound, 414 00:26:47,219 --> 00:26:51,497 "and it would be irresponsible to deny, after further research, 415 00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:56,415 "its manufacture might be proved to be associated with health risks." 416 00:26:56,580 --> 00:27:00,094 Yes, that seems perfectly fair. 417 00:27:01,099 --> 00:27:03,693 Could you just say that again? 418 00:27:03,859 --> 00:27:07,010 Better than that... I'll jot it down for you. 419 00:27:07,179 --> 00:27:10,091 The Minister for Administrative Affairs, James Hacker, 420 00:27:10,259 --> 00:27:15,652 has announced he'll not give approval for the BCC to make propanol. 421 00:27:15,819 --> 00:27:19,175 The Henderson Committee, while generally approving the drug, 422 00:27:19,339 --> 00:27:23,935 said it could not deny that future research might disclose risks. 423 00:27:24,099 --> 00:27:26,408 (CROWDS CHEERING) 424 00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:31,616 Mr Hacker made his announcement today while visiting BCC's factory, 425 00:27:31,779 --> 00:27:35,375 where he was greeted by an enthusiastic crowd. 426 00:27:35,939 --> 00:27:39,568 And now sport. Following last night's defeat... 427 00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:41,853 Well, Minister? 428 00:27:42,019 --> 00:27:43,737 Well, Humphrey? 429 00:27:43,899 --> 00:27:46,732 - Do you feel like a hero? - Indeed I do. 430 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:50,893 - And Number 10 will be delighted. - One of the worst decisions ever! 431 00:27:51,059 --> 00:27:53,937 And one of the best political decisions I've made. 432 00:27:54,899 --> 00:27:57,413 What do you think, Bernard? 433 00:27:57,580 --> 00:27:59,013 Well... 434 00:27:59,179 --> 00:28:04,254 bearing everything in mind and after due consideration... 435 00:28:04,420 --> 00:28:07,616 considering all the implications and points of view... 436 00:28:07,779 --> 00:28:13,411 well, in other words, in fact, I am bound to say... 437 00:28:13,580 --> 00:28:17,129 you look awfully good on television, Minister. 438 00:28:17,299 --> 00:28:21,054 Humphrey, can we manage a CBE for Henderson? 439 00:28:21,219 --> 00:28:25,133 Certainly not! He's unreliable and lacking in judgement. 440 00:28:25,299 --> 00:28:29,292 I can't think why he cast doubt on his whole report in that final paragraph. 441 00:28:29,460 --> 00:28:34,089 I think he has excellent judgement, enormous stature and great charm. 442 00:28:39,779 --> 00:28:42,419 I thought you said you'd never met him. 443 00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:46,019 I meant intellectual stature, Humphrey. 444 00:28:46,179 --> 00:28:48,170 And charm? 445 00:28:49,540 --> 00:28:52,337 He writes with charm. 446 00:28:53,460 --> 00:28:55,051 Doesn't he, Bernard? 447 00:28:55,219 --> 00:28:58,211 Oh, yes, Minister. 448 00:29:00,887 --> 00:29:09,321 http://episode-heaven.rt.hu