1
00:00:44,787 --> 00:00:47,426
He's still with the Press Officer, Sir Humphrey.

2
00:00:47,586 --> 00:00:49,341
Would you like a coffee?

3
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:52,180
If the Minister is with the Press Officer,

4
00:00:52,347 --> 00:00:55,385
we've probably got time for a six-course lunch.

5
00:00:58,586 --> 00:01:00,544
- Morning, Humphrey.
- Desmond!

6
00:01:00,709 --> 00:01:04,302
He's got somebody with him,
but he'll only be a moment.

7
00:01:04,468 --> 00:01:08,779
- Did you sound him out about...?
- Yes, but it doesn't look hopeful.

8
00:01:08,948 --> 00:01:15,625
All my bank wants is to put six
little storeys on the new office block.

9
00:01:15,786 --> 00:01:18,621
- Read the Financial Times today?
- Never do!

10
00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:21,425
You're a banker,
surely you read the Financial Times?

11
00:01:21,585 --> 00:01:26,102
Can't understand it. Full of economic theory.

12
00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:31,305
- Why do you buy it?
- It's part of the uniform.

13
00:01:31,786 --> 00:01:34,583
Took me 30 years
to understand Keynes' economics.

14
00:01:34,747 --> 00:01:39,139
I'd just cottoned on when everyone
got hooked on monetarist ideas,

15
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:42,744
you know, "I Want To Be Free",
by Milton Shulman.

16
00:01:42,907 --> 00:01:46,900
- Milton Friedman?
- Why are they all called Milton?

17
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:49,739
I've only got as far as Milton Keynes.

18
00:01:51,266 --> 00:01:53,224
Maynard Keynes?

19
00:01:53,387 --> 00:01:55,776
I'm sure there's a Milton Keynes.

20
00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:58,335
Yes, there is, it's...

21
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,058
Sit down.

22
00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:05,218
You didn't read about the Minister's speech

23
00:02:05,387 --> 00:02:07,661
to the Architectural Association last night,

24
00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:10,785
attacking skyscraper office blocks?

25
00:02:10,948 --> 00:02:12,380
Ours isn't a skyscraper.

26
00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:14,902
- How many storeys?
- 38.

27
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:18,183
44 with the extra six we're asking for.

28
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:23,218
He was talking about
the maximum tolerable height being eight.

29
00:02:23,387 --> 00:02:26,505
Surely you can talk him out of it?

30
00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:30,660
Work him upwards? 8, 12, 18...

31
00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:32,942
That's your job - talking him out of things.

32
00:02:33,108 --> 00:02:38,134
Don't forget, there's a promise
to prevent any more high-rise buildings

33
00:02:38,306 --> 00:02:40,661
in the environment section of the manifesto.

34
00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:43,737
- Does that scupper it?
- Not necessarily.

35
00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:51,177
There's an implicit pact offered
to every Minister by his senior officials.

36
00:02:51,747 --> 00:02:56,058
If the Minister implements
the opposite policy to the one he's pledged to,

37
00:02:56,227 --> 00:02:58,264
which, once in office, he will see is incorrect,

38
00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:02,387
we'll help him to pretend
he's following his manifesto.

39
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,862
- That's a very reasonable offer.
- It sounds reasonable.

40
00:03:08,027 --> 00:03:14,342
Unfortunately, among the many
extraordinary qualities politicians possess,

41
00:03:14,506 --> 00:03:18,467
reasonableness isn't the first that springs to mind.

42
00:03:19,585 --> 00:03:22,259
Not when one contemplates the average Minister.

43
00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:25,145
And our Minister is very average.

44
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,297
But we need those extra floors.

45
00:03:29,468 --> 00:03:32,458
And if you're joining the board when you retire,

46
00:03:32,628 --> 00:03:35,583
it'll be tricky if there's no office to put you in.

47
00:03:35,747 --> 00:03:39,023
Entertaining your visitors
in a Portakabin in the car park?

48
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:44,657
I'm not saying you won't get
permission, just not today. Be patient.

49
00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:47,660
Surely if a Minister's made a decision, that's it?

50
00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:52,218
- What gave you that idea?
- Surely a decision's a decision?

51
00:03:52,387 --> 00:03:54,980
Only if it's the decision you want.

52
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:59,218
If not, it's just a temporary setback.

53
00:03:59,387 --> 00:04:01,776
Ministers are like small children:

54
00:04:01,948 --> 00:04:06,145
They want something desperately
and next day forget they asked for it.

55
00:04:06,306 --> 00:04:11,300
- He is a Minister of the Crown.
- You know why he's called that?

56
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:14,744
He's always talking off the top of his head...

57
00:04:14,907 --> 00:04:16,738
or through the back of it!

58
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:20,867
- You won't accept his decision?
- No, no, no.

59
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:24,577
I start by accepting it
and supporting it enthusiastically,

60
00:04:24,747 --> 00:04:27,739
then I tell him to leave it to me.

61
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:31,986
(SIR DESMOND) Humphrey, the architect fellow.

62
00:04:32,149 --> 00:04:35,060
Morning, Crawford.
The Minister won't keep a moment.

63
00:04:35,228 --> 00:04:37,504
So, what's going to happen?

64
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:42,696
I'll have a minute with him first,
but don't expect too much this morning.

65
00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:47,419
Think of it as a child's tantrum
over a rice pudding.

66
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,899
Won't touch it today
and yet wants two helpings tomorrow.

67
00:04:51,069 --> 00:04:53,218
Ah, rice pudding... good.

68
00:04:53,388 --> 00:04:55,538
I always liked rice pudding.

69
00:04:57,549 --> 00:04:59,426
Minister, it's really excellent.

70
00:04:59,587 --> 00:05:02,308
"Hacker speaks out against tower blocks."

71
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,935
"Minister's courageous stand on high buildings."

72
00:05:05,109 --> 00:05:06,906
I sound like a steeplejack.

73
00:05:07,069 --> 00:05:12,301
What about the popular press?
How do I get into the mass circulation dailies?

74
00:05:12,468 --> 00:05:17,145
- What about a photograph?
- The papers like a photo of a pretty girl.

75
00:05:17,308 --> 00:05:19,696
I don't quite qualify on that score.

76
00:05:21,348 --> 00:05:25,227
Judge a beauty contest -
a photo of you kissing the winner.

77
00:05:25,388 --> 00:05:31,337
If my picture's in the papers,
people should look at me, not some pretty girl.

78
00:05:31,507 --> 00:05:34,419
Otherwise, something with
cuddly animals or small children,

79
00:05:34,587 --> 00:05:37,102
like this afternoon's visit to the city farm.

80
00:05:37,268 --> 00:05:39,908
Is everything laid on - Mail, Mirror, Express?

81
00:05:40,069 --> 00:05:43,140
- And the Sun, Today and Nationwide.
- Nationwide?

82
00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:46,140
- Will I be on telly?
- With any luck.

83
00:05:46,308 --> 00:05:50,016
- Well done!
- You are a Minister of the Crown, sir.

84
00:05:50,187 --> 00:05:53,225
There's some baby donkeys
laid on to be photographed with.

85
00:05:54,507 --> 00:05:56,419
- Donkeys?
- Yes, sir.

86
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:03,109
The Sun specifically asked if you could
be photographed amongst the donkeys.

87
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,341
What do you think, Bernard?

88
00:06:05,507 --> 00:06:10,060
Even if the Sun has no ulterior motive,
it'll be a gift for Private Eye.

89
00:06:12,868 --> 00:06:16,145
You with a crowd of other donkeys.

90
00:06:16,308 --> 00:06:21,256
That's what they would say.
Or a meeting of the Inner Cabinet.

91
00:06:22,828 --> 00:06:25,103
What are you here for, Bernard?

92
00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:28,181
- Sir Humphrey's here.
- Very well.

93
00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:30,259
There's also some little pigs.

94
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:34,343
I don't think that's a great improvement.

95
00:06:34,507 --> 00:06:37,739
Snouts in the trough jokes -
pull yourself together!

96
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:41,424
I will consent to be photographed
with a lamb, that's all.

97
00:06:41,587 --> 00:06:43,737
- Ah, Humphrey.
- Good morning.

98
00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:46,343
Sir Desmond Glazebrook is outside.

99
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,500
Glazebrook? That old fool
who makes anti-Government speeches?

100
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,978
Yes, and you appointed him chairman
of the co-partnership commission.

101
00:06:54,228 --> 00:06:55,866
What's he want?

102
00:06:56,029 --> 00:06:59,145
He wants to talk about his forthcoming application

103
00:06:59,308 --> 00:07:02,265
to put more storeys on his bank's office block.

104
00:07:02,428 --> 00:07:05,578
That's just the thing we must stop, Humphrey.

105
00:07:05,747 --> 00:07:08,627
Somebody has to speak out
about the environment,

106
00:07:08,788 --> 00:07:10,699
take a stand on high buildings.

107
00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,223
That would make a good press photograph.

108
00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:15,819
(SIR HUMPHREY) Thank you, Bernard.

109
00:07:15,987 --> 00:07:19,060
It's up to you, but he does have a good case.

110
00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:21,868
Have you read the background papers?

111
00:07:22,029 --> 00:07:24,382
Yes, of course. Remind me.

112
00:07:26,149 --> 00:07:30,859
The bank points out that
there are already several tower blocks nearby,

113
00:07:31,029 --> 00:07:34,658
and it is the international division
of the bank, expanding rapidly.

114
00:07:34,828 --> 00:07:38,741
It needs a central location.
It would bring in revenue for the city.

115
00:07:38,908 --> 00:07:42,663
Typical! Money, money, money.
What about beauty, Humphrey?

116
00:07:42,828 --> 00:07:45,218
Indeed, Minister, beauty.

117
00:07:45,388 --> 00:07:47,265
Make a note of that, Bernard.

118
00:07:47,428 --> 00:07:49,658
What about our children? And their children?

119
00:07:49,828 --> 00:07:52,785
Exactly, Minister, "Children's children", Bernard.

120
00:07:52,948 --> 00:07:55,781
Who are you serving? God or Mammon?

121
00:07:55,948 --> 00:07:58,507
I'm serving you, Minister.

122
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:01,466
In that case, Humphrey, show Sir Desmond in.

123
00:08:03,428 --> 00:08:06,977
Glazebrook! I'll give him high-rise buildings...

124
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:12,306
Sir Desmond, how nice to see you!
What can I do for you?

125
00:08:12,468 --> 00:08:15,062
It's these extra storeys, six of them.

126
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:19,540
We'll make a formal application later,
but any guidance you can give us...?

127
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:23,223
I warn you that I have
misgivings about tower blocks.

128
00:08:23,388 --> 00:08:27,381
This is how we make profits.
Six extra storeys and we clean up.

129
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,779
Without them,
we'll only make a measly 28% on the project.

130
00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:34,658
- It's just profits, is it?
- Not "Just profits", it's profits!

131
00:08:34,828 --> 00:08:38,538
- Don't you think of anything but money?
- No, why?

132
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:42,622
- What about beauty?
- It's a building, not an oil painting.

133
00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:47,908
- And the environment?
- We'll make sure it's part of the environment.

134
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,265
It's bound to be, once it's there.

135
00:08:52,268 --> 00:08:55,817
- I'm sorry, Sir Desmond...
- There's one thing, Minister.

136
00:08:55,987 --> 00:09:00,823
As you know, similar permission
was given to Chartered of New York,

137
00:09:00,987 --> 00:09:03,138
so to refuse a British bank...

138
00:09:03,308 --> 00:09:05,538
Exactly! So it's all right?

139
00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:08,620
Er... well... no. No, it isn't.

140
00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:13,067
- Why not, damn it?
- It-it-it's not necessarily...

141
00:09:13,228 --> 00:09:17,824
The Minister is concerned that another
tall building will clutter the skyline.

142
00:09:17,987 --> 00:09:20,218
That's right, it would clutter the skyline.

143
00:09:20,388 --> 00:09:26,304
He's also worried that more workers
in the area would strain the transport system.

144
00:09:26,468 --> 00:09:28,585
I'm worried about public transport.

145
00:09:28,747 --> 00:09:31,660
Furthermore,
he points out that it will overshadow

146
00:09:31,828 --> 00:09:35,218
the playground of the St Joseph's Primary School.

147
00:09:35,388 --> 00:09:39,540
It would overlook private gardens,
which would be an intrusion of privacy.

148
00:09:39,708 --> 00:09:42,301
Privacy! Pollution!

149
00:09:42,468 --> 00:09:46,939
Furthermore, the Minister points out,
most astutely, if I may say,

150
00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:50,987
that the bank owns a vacant site close by

151
00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:53,538
which would accommodate your expansion needs.

152
00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:55,859
- Where?
- There.

153
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,747
That's the river, isn't it?

154
00:09:58,908 --> 00:10:01,741
The Minister was referring to this site.

155
00:10:02,509 --> 00:10:05,386
- Is that ours?
- It is, Sir Desmond.

156
00:10:05,549 --> 00:10:08,221
- What's it for?
- It's scheduled for phase three.

157
00:10:08,388 --> 00:10:12,506
That's scheduled for phase three.
Anyway, it's 400 yards away.

158
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:16,183
Difficult for the board
to walk 400 yards to lunch...

159
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:19,386
...and impossible to walk back afterwards.

160
00:10:19,549 --> 00:10:25,862
Put in your formal application by all means,
but that will be my decision.

161
00:10:26,908 --> 00:10:30,265
Minister, suppose we designed
a different rice pudding?

162
00:10:32,788 --> 00:10:34,140
- What?
- What?

163
00:10:34,308 --> 00:10:39,906
- Rice pudding?
- Bankers' jargon for high-rise buildings.

164
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,105
Is it?

165
00:10:43,747 --> 00:10:46,785
Bernard, show Sir Desmond out.

166
00:10:46,948 --> 00:10:48,779
Bye, Sir Desmond.

167
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,745
Oh, yes. Right.

168
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:56,665
Thank you, your reminders were very helpful.

169
00:10:56,828 --> 00:10:59,343
- A pleasure.
- Real teamwork, what?

170
00:10:59,509 --> 00:11:03,627
- Especially as Glazebrook is your chum.
- We're very old friends.

171
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:08,464
But it is as naught compared
to a civil servant's duty to his Minister.

172
00:11:09,388 --> 00:11:12,460
- Humphrey, do you mean that?
- Of course, Minister!

173
00:11:13,468 --> 00:11:16,346
- How very nice.
- Thank you.

174
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,978
- It's after half past.
- I've got to dash.

175
00:11:20,149 --> 00:11:22,538
- Urgent appointment?
- Very urgent.

176
00:11:22,708 --> 00:11:25,506
- Cabinet committee?
- That sort of thing.

177
00:11:26,509 --> 00:11:30,422
Could you sign this? It's extremely urgent.

178
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,544
Do I have to? I'm late already.

179
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:36,701
It's an administrative order
to formalise Government powers

180
00:11:36,868 --> 00:11:40,703
for the utilisation of unused local authority land
until development commences,

181
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,064
then it reverts to the authority.

182
00:11:43,228 --> 00:11:46,538
Do I have to sign now?
Why hasn't it been before the House?

183
00:11:47,069 --> 00:11:51,698
If it were a statutory instrument,
it would have to go before the House,

184
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:57,261
but it's an administrative order,
under section seven of the Environment Act,

185
00:11:57,428 --> 00:12:02,946
which is an enabling section,
empowering the Minister to make regulations

186
00:12:03,109 --> 00:12:07,625
regarding unused local authority land
as necessary from time to time

187
00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:11,542
within the framework of the Act,
as I'm sure you recollect.

188
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:14,301
Why doesn't it go before the House?

189
00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:20,185
If it were a statutory instrument,
it would have to go before the House,

190
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:23,944
but because it is an administrative order
under section seven of the...

191
00:12:24,109 --> 00:12:26,747
All right, Humphrey, I have signed it!

192
00:12:28,388 --> 00:12:30,060
Why was that so urgent?

193
00:12:32,549 --> 00:12:35,665
- It wasn't.
- But you said it was.

194
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:38,103
It wasn't urgent, but it was important.

195
00:12:38,268 --> 00:12:42,227
Any document transferring decision-making
power from Ministers to us is important.

196
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:45,187
- Why?
- Oh, Bernard...!

197
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,897
Don't be obtuse, please.

198
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:54,620
It helps take Government out of politics.
It's Britain's only chance of survival.

199
00:12:54,788 --> 00:12:58,064
Couldn't it have waited
until he wasn't in a hurry?

200
00:12:58,228 --> 00:13:02,346
When we want Ministers to sign something
without asking questions,

201
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:07,377
we wait until they're in a hurry
and their concentration is weakest.

202
00:13:07,549 --> 00:13:11,256
That's why we keep them on the go.

203
00:13:11,428 --> 00:13:16,138
Bernard, where was the Minister
rushing off to so secretively?

204
00:13:16,308 --> 00:13:18,743
A school children's city farm in Tower Hamlets.

205
00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:23,107
My God!
The things that man will do for publicity.

206
00:13:23,268 --> 00:13:27,056
Is he going as a visitor or as an exhibit?

207
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:29,986
Very droll, Sir Humphrey.

208
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:31,741
What?

209
00:13:44,629 --> 00:13:48,701
Mrs Philips? I'm Bill Pritchard,
the Minister's Press Officer.

210
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:52,259
This is Mrs Philips, the warden of the park.

211
00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:53,986
How do you do?

212
00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:58,460
BBC TV. We didn't get your arrival,
could we have it again?

213
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,506
- Sorry?
- Could you arrive again?

214
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,819
How can he arrive again? He's already here.

215
00:14:04,987 --> 00:14:06,866
- For the cameras.
- Do you mind?

216
00:14:07,029 --> 00:14:08,701
Mind what?

217
00:14:10,509 --> 00:14:12,500
Let's see you arriving.

218
00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:20,703
Does this often happen?

219
00:14:23,868 --> 00:14:26,826
Turn over... Action!

220
00:14:26,987 --> 00:14:29,183
Wave, everybody!

221
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:40,268
- Welcome, Minister.
- It's a great pleasure.

222
00:14:40,428 --> 00:14:44,580
I'm glad you've come. We tried
other celebrities but nobody could come.

223
00:14:45,987 --> 00:14:47,502
- Cut.
- What?

224
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,737
- Cut, cut, cut!
- Cut.

225
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:54,580
- We'll cut that out, right?
- Yes, but...

226
00:14:54,747 --> 00:14:56,625
Not but, cut!

227
00:14:57,987 --> 00:15:00,661
May I introduce you to His Worship, the Mayor?

228
00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:05,424
Licence fees are coming up again.

229
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:25,181
Now, tell me all about this.

230
00:15:25,828 --> 00:15:27,783
This is a piglet.

231
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,098
No, tell me about this city farm.

232
00:15:31,268 --> 00:15:34,817
There are over 50 city farms

233
00:15:34,987 --> 00:15:39,982
built in urban wasteland to give
children who seldom see the countryside

234
00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:43,185
a chance to understand
livestock and food production.

235
00:15:43,348 --> 00:15:47,102
What a wonderful idea!
And this is your first anniversary?

236
00:15:47,268 --> 00:15:49,542
- Yes.
- Congratulations.

237
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,745
Could we have a shot congratulating
Mrs Philips for the television?

238
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:55,741
Certainly, by all means.

239
00:15:55,908 --> 00:15:58,468
Everyone's a ham! Sorry.

240
00:16:02,908 --> 00:16:06,743
So this is your first anniversary here? Good.

241
00:16:06,908 --> 00:16:09,547
Congratulations. Well done.

242
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:12,426
Jolly good show. Very good.

243
00:16:12,589 --> 00:16:14,386
Got enough now?

244
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:20,337
If we may hurry you,
make your speech first, and then meet the staff.

245
00:16:20,509 --> 00:16:22,977
I'd like to do the interview with some of those.

246
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,946
- Staff?
- No, the children and animals.

247
00:16:26,388 --> 00:16:28,504
Is this working?

248
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:31,263
- Got my speech?
- I gave it to you.

249
00:16:31,428 --> 00:16:33,817
No, you've got it.

250
00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:41,786
It gives me pleasure
to welcome Mr James Hacker,

251
00:16:41,948 --> 00:16:46,544
the Minister for Administrative Affairs,
who has found time in his busy schedule

252
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:49,745
to be with us today
to celebrate our first anniversary.

253
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,819
Thank you.

254
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:57,868
Thank you. It's a great pleasure
to be here with you all today.

255
00:16:58,029 --> 00:17:00,906
You know, things are changing fast.

256
00:17:01,069 --> 00:17:03,502
We live in a world of change.

257
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,387
The silicon chip is changing our lives.

258
00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:09,664
Quality of life is becoming
more and more important.

259
00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:14,219
Environment, conservation, problems
of pollution, the future of our children,

260
00:17:14,387 --> 00:17:18,425
and our children's children.
These are today's issues.

261
00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:24,026
There is, quite rightly, increasing
concern about high-rise buildings.

262
00:17:24,188 --> 00:17:29,137
I'm happy to reassure you,
members of the Architectural Association...

263
00:17:32,746 --> 00:17:34,420
I'm so sorry.

264
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,421
It's yesterday's speech.

265
00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:39,465
It's the one I have, look in your pocket.

266
00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:45,584
So sorry!

267
00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:48,421
I made a speech yesterday and...

268
00:17:50,427 --> 00:17:54,387
It's a great pleasure
to be here at the city farm today.

269
00:17:55,427 --> 00:17:57,577
You know, things are changing fast.

270
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:01,416
We live in a world of change.

271
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:05,501
The silicon chip... is changing our lives.

272
00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:08,579
(MUMBLES) Quality of life is more important...

273
00:18:08,746 --> 00:18:12,217
(MUMBLES) Pollution...
future of our children's children...

274
00:18:12,387 --> 00:18:15,664
These are the issues... The city farm movement

275
00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:20,378
is a welcome and important addition
to the way of life for children in cities.

276
00:18:20,548 --> 00:18:25,860
We feel they play an vital part in
children's educational and social life.

277
00:18:26,028 --> 00:18:29,816
We shall do all we can
to help this movement flourish.

278
00:18:31,508 --> 00:18:33,418
Happy birthday.

279
00:18:35,588 --> 00:18:38,500
Sue Lawley's arrived,
can we do the interview now?

280
00:18:38,666 --> 00:18:42,058
Yes, set it up with the most
attractive children and animals.

281
00:18:42,228 --> 00:18:47,175
Thank you for saying that, Minister.
Can we really rely on your support?

282
00:18:47,347 --> 00:18:49,020
Of course you can.

283
00:18:49,188 --> 00:18:52,463
Our lease is running out
and we have to get it extended.

284
00:18:52,628 --> 00:18:58,338
I can't really influence it, but I'll try
to help this movement to flourish.

285
00:18:58,508 --> 00:19:02,501
Would you do the interview now?
This is Sue Lawley of Nationwide.

286
00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:08,264
Sue Lawley, what a great pleasure.
I do believe I'm probably your greatest fan!

287
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:16,181
Sorry to butt in, but could the children
and staff get autographs?

288
00:19:16,347 --> 00:19:18,179
Autographs? Certainly.

289
00:19:24,827 --> 00:19:27,740
Come on, that's enough.

290
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,904
What did you want to say?

291
00:19:34,068 --> 00:19:38,619
I'll ask some questions of the warden
and then come to you for comments.

292
00:19:38,788 --> 00:19:42,177
- Where would you like us to be?
- Here.

293
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:45,976
- Perhaps with animals and children?
- Yes, splendid!

294
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:51,778
Put this sweet little girl on your knee, Mr Hacker.

295
00:19:59,588 --> 00:20:02,307
All right, let's get on with it.

296
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:04,697
Turn over! We're running, Sue.

297
00:20:04,867 --> 00:20:09,896
Warden, I understand the lease
of this wonderful city farm will run out.

298
00:20:10,068 --> 00:20:12,866
Yes, we've been worried about this.

299
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:16,179
But I've just had a word with Mr Hacker,

300
00:20:16,347 --> 00:20:21,422
and he has indicated that he will ensure
that this farm can carry on.

301
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:26,058
Minister, how will you ensure
this farm keeps running?

302
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:30,664
Er... well... you see... Sue...

303
00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:34,537
The fact is, and let me make this clear...

304
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:39,021
Quality of life is becoming more important,

305
00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:43,898
the environment, conservation,
problems of pollution...

306
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:46,456
The future of our children...

307
00:20:48,148 --> 00:20:50,787
and our children's children.
These are today's issues.

308
00:20:50,947 --> 00:20:53,255
Minister, thank you.

309
00:20:59,628 --> 00:21:04,655
I saw your chap on the television
last night cuddling a rabbit.

310
00:21:04,827 --> 00:21:08,023
St Francis of Tower Hamlets.

311
00:21:08,188 --> 00:21:10,621
What was it in aid of?

312
00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:13,222
After the rodent vote, I imagine.

313
00:21:13,387 --> 00:21:15,902
Quite a good idea, those city farms.

314
00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:18,945
Are you still worried
about parking at Tower House?

315
00:21:19,108 --> 00:21:23,737
Desperately! It's the major blockage
to recruiting Inland Revenue inspectors.

316
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:30,541
There's a 1<i>¹/</i>2 acre local authority site nearby
with the lease running out.

317
00:21:30,708 --> 00:21:34,496
- But we haven't the authority.
- You have now.

318
00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:39,184
- You mean an order under Section 7?!
- Signed yesterday.

319
00:21:39,347 --> 00:21:43,898
Humphrey! How did you manage it?

320
00:21:45,508 --> 00:21:49,296
- What's the site used for now?
- Nothing of any significance.

321
00:21:49,467 --> 00:21:52,264
A city farm for school children.

322
00:21:52,427 --> 00:21:55,067
Like the one St Francis was visiting?

323
00:21:55,228 --> 00:21:58,106
Not the one?

324
00:21:58,268 --> 00:22:01,465
I've always said those things are a bad idea.

325
00:22:01,628 --> 00:22:04,779
Unhygienic and a danger to public health.

326
00:22:04,947 --> 00:22:10,181
It might be good to move quickly,
before the lease were renewed.

327
00:22:10,347 --> 00:22:14,023
Surely. Won't it put your Minister in a spot?

328
00:22:14,987 --> 00:22:20,505
- I'm sure I'll find him a way out.
- I'm sure you will. Coffee?

329
00:22:20,666 --> 00:22:24,262
No, thanks, I must be getting back to Assisi.

330
00:22:26,268 --> 00:22:29,021
- Thank you for lunch.
- Not at all.

331
00:22:29,188 --> 00:22:31,985
- Enjoy your trip.
- Bless you.

332
00:22:38,347 --> 00:22:40,304
Desmond?

333
00:22:45,068 --> 00:22:47,023
It's you, Humphrey.

334
00:22:53,028 --> 00:22:57,818
I think I know how
to get the Minister to eat his rice pudding.

335
00:23:02,907 --> 00:23:05,262
Evening paper, Minister.

336
00:23:07,827 --> 00:23:11,217
- Centre page.
- I say!

337
00:23:11,387 --> 00:23:14,585
Double-page spread, what about that!

338
00:23:14,746 --> 00:23:18,023
"The St Francis of Tower Hamlets."

339
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:22,545
There's a picture of me with ducks.
Another with a small girl.

340
00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:27,987
A black... ethnic... multi... you know,
one of... What good publicity!

341
00:23:29,387 --> 00:23:32,139
Are there any more city farms to visit?

342
00:23:32,308 --> 00:23:34,867
Manchester, Birmingham, Glasgow.

343
00:23:35,028 --> 00:23:38,702
The marginal, I mean,
the special development areas.

344
00:23:38,867 --> 00:23:41,586
Bernard, how about this double-page spread?

345
00:23:41,746 --> 00:23:44,706
Top of the Mirror, Nationwide last night.

346
00:23:44,867 --> 00:23:47,427
You're very quiet, what's the matter?

347
00:23:47,588 --> 00:23:51,581
Mrs Philips, Minister, the warden
of the city farm you visited yesterday.

348
00:23:51,746 --> 00:23:54,421
Is she pleased with the publicity?

349
00:23:54,588 --> 00:23:57,260
- She doesn't seem pleased.
- Why not?

350
00:23:57,427 --> 00:24:00,782
- The farm's being closed.
- Closed?!

351
00:24:00,947 --> 00:24:05,099
It's being turned into a car park
for Inland Revenue inspectors.

352
00:24:06,867 --> 00:24:09,505
My God, what will they say about this?

353
00:24:09,666 --> 00:24:12,546
"Children and animals evicted by taxman."

354
00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:15,268
"Minister goes back on TV pledge."

355
00:24:15,427 --> 00:24:18,976
Heavens! This must be stopped. Do something!

356
00:24:19,148 --> 00:24:21,820
- What idiot authorised that?
- You did.

357
00:24:21,987 --> 00:24:23,387
What?

358
00:24:23,548 --> 00:24:28,144
The order you signed yesterday giving
Government power over local authority land.

359
00:24:28,308 --> 00:24:30,503
- Section 7, subsection 3.
- Get Humphrey.

360
00:24:30,666 --> 00:24:33,943
He's on his way
and Mrs Philips is in the private office.

361
00:24:34,108 --> 00:24:38,340
She's that last person I want to see.
This is the greatest disaster this century.

362
00:24:38,508 --> 00:24:40,577
There were two world wars.

363
00:24:40,746 --> 00:24:43,784
Fighting on the beaches is one thing,
evicting animals and children

364
00:24:43,947 --> 00:24:46,063
for tax inspectors' cars is another.
Ah, Humphrey!

365
00:24:47,347 --> 00:24:51,226
Minister, I saw you on television last night.
What a treat!

366
00:24:51,387 --> 00:24:54,220
Never mind that,
what about the city farm being closed?

367
00:24:54,387 --> 00:24:57,380
- The Treasury...
- It's got to be stopped!

368
00:24:57,548 --> 00:25:01,255
Unfortunately, it's a Treasury decision
and beyond our jurisdiction.

369
00:25:01,427 --> 00:25:04,976
- I shall revoke the order.
- That is impossible. Or difficult.

370
00:25:05,148 --> 00:25:08,378
Or inadvisable.
Or requires legislation. One of those.

371
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:12,985
Anyway, it could not invalidate an action
taken while the order was in force.

372
00:25:13,148 --> 00:25:16,378
<i>I don't care if it's the Queen and the Pope...</i>

373
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:20,902
- Judas!
- I say, look here.

374
00:25:21,068 --> 00:25:23,184
- You promised to support us!
- I'm sorry...

375
00:25:23,347 --> 00:25:26,260
You must see that our lease is renewed.

376
00:25:26,427 --> 00:25:29,943
My dear lady, it's not in the Minister's p...

377
00:25:32,588 --> 00:25:36,945
Mr Hacker, you have given your word.
Are you going to keep it?

378
00:25:37,108 --> 00:25:42,579
I shall leave no stone... every avenue...
everything that is humanly possible...

379
00:25:42,746 --> 00:25:45,057
- You mean, no.
- No.

380
00:25:45,228 --> 00:25:49,186
Yes, I mean no. I mean yes. Definitely not. No.

381
00:25:49,347 --> 00:25:51,496
Yes, I mean, no.

382
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,345
Very well. Don't say I haven't warned you.

383
00:25:55,508 --> 00:25:59,740
My husband is Deputy
Features Editor of the Express.

384
00:25:59,907 --> 00:26:04,299
Tomorrow morning your name will be manure.

385
00:26:07,188 --> 00:26:10,577
You will be roasted alive by the national press.

386
00:26:13,867 --> 00:26:19,340
It falls to few people to be,
in the space of 24 hours,

387
00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:22,500
both St Francis and St Joan.

388
00:26:23,907 --> 00:26:27,344
Humphrey, something must be done
to stop this farm closing.

389
00:26:27,508 --> 00:26:29,942
Otherwise, we shall look a complete... (BUZZER)

390
00:26:30,108 --> 00:26:34,260
- Yes? Sir Desmond Glazebrook is outside.
- What does he want?

391
00:26:34,427 --> 00:26:37,898
- I can't imagine.
- Send him in!

392
00:26:38,068 --> 00:26:40,662
It's Open Day at the Department!

393
00:26:40,827 --> 00:26:44,979
Minister, I was passing and I've had an idea.

394
00:26:45,148 --> 00:26:48,822
If you gave us permission
for an extra nine storeys...

395
00:26:48,987 --> 00:26:50,467
You asked for six!

396
00:26:50,628 --> 00:26:54,940
If you gave us nine extra storeys,
we could postpone phase three

397
00:26:55,108 --> 00:26:57,576
for seven years, leaving this site vacant.

398
00:26:57,746 --> 00:27:01,217
I was reading this morning in the Financial Times

399
00:27:01,387 --> 00:27:04,744
about your visit to the city farm,
a jolly good wheeze.

400
00:27:04,907 --> 00:27:08,662
Our phase three site is only 200 yards away,

401
00:27:08,827 --> 00:27:14,027
so you could use it to extend the farm,
or if they had to move, it's a bit larger.

402
00:27:14,188 --> 00:27:19,467
We thought of calling it
"The James Hacker Cuddly Animal Sanctuary."

403
00:27:21,108 --> 00:27:23,746
Well, "Animal Sanctuary", anyway.

404
00:27:23,907 --> 00:27:27,023
Nine storeys isn't very much, is it?

405
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:30,746
"James Hacker Animal Sanctuary."

406
00:27:34,588 --> 00:27:40,184
Government has to be awfully careful
about throttling small businesses.

407
00:27:40,347 --> 00:27:43,499
The bank isn't actually a small business.

408
00:27:43,666 --> 00:27:46,387
It would be if we throttled it, Bernard.

409
00:27:47,588 --> 00:27:52,742
After all, what is another tower block
where there are so many?

410
00:27:52,907 --> 00:27:55,183
(SIR HUMPHREY) Yes, indeed, Minister.

411
00:27:55,347 --> 00:27:57,987
I shall be forced to reconsider my decision.

412
00:27:58,148 --> 00:28:01,458
We'll be able to give Sir Desmond his six storeys...

413
00:28:01,628 --> 00:28:02,947
Nine.

414
00:28:03,108 --> 00:28:07,146
Nine storeys. Let's make a press announcement.

415
00:28:07,308 --> 00:28:09,538
To the James Hacker Animal Sanctuary!

416
00:28:09,708 --> 00:28:14,304
- You were worried about London Transport.
- They will be glad of the extra fares.

417
00:28:14,467 --> 00:28:16,059
As for the school...

418
00:28:16,228 --> 00:28:18,695
They might welcome the shade.

419
00:28:18,867 --> 00:28:21,621
In the hot weather, certainly.

420
00:28:21,788 --> 00:28:25,097
- And privacy?
- There are two sides to privacy.

421
00:28:25,268 --> 00:28:29,340
People might enjoy looking
at what goes on in those offices.

422
00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:32,068
Extraordinary things go on in offices, don't they?

423
00:28:32,228 --> 00:28:34,503
Yes, Minister.

424
00:28:37,887 --> 00:28:49,321
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