1 00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:47,191 Could your political adviser have a word? 2 00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,945 Yes, of course. Dorothy! 3 00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:53,028 I've hardly seen you since I moved in. 4 00:00:54,511 --> 00:00:57,503 I used to be in the office next door to this room. 5 00:00:57,671 --> 00:01:02,188 You had me moved to the front of the building, up three floors, along the corridor, 6 00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:06,867 round the corner and four doors along to the right...next to the photocopier. 7 00:01:08,113 --> 00:01:11,229 - I thought you'd gone on holiday. - I might as well be! 8 00:01:11,432 --> 00:01:13,820 I came back from my weekend 9 00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:17,983 and found my office turned into a waiting room for ministers and officials. 10 00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:21,144 Humphrey said it was on your instructions. Was it? 11 00:01:21,311 --> 00:01:23,780 No... Well, yes. No. Yes. 12 00:01:23,952 --> 00:01:28,581 Humphrey had this plan for rationalisation, to make better use of the space. 13 00:01:28,791 --> 00:01:33,546 The Civil Service have been trying to get me out of that office for three years! 14 00:01:33,751 --> 00:01:35,424 Why? 15 00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:40,222 Because it's in the key strategic position. It's the best-placed room in the house. 16 00:01:40,912 --> 00:01:43,380 I don't see what difference it makes. 17 00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:48,386 This file is the Cabinet Room where we are now. Through the doors is your private office. 18 00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:51,543 This ruler is the corridor from the front door here 19 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:56,706 and this corridor runs from the Cabinet Room and connects up to the locked green baize door, 20 00:01:56,871 --> 00:01:59,863 on the other side of which is the Cabinet Office. 21 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:03,023 This coffee cup is the staircase up to your study 22 00:02:03,193 --> 00:02:06,023 and this saucer is the gents' loo. 23 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:11,711 And this is...was my office, and my desk faced out into the lobby 24 00:02:11,871 --> 00:02:14,260 and I always kept my door open. 25 00:02:14,432 --> 00:02:16,501 What could I see? 26 00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:21,621 Well, you could see everyone who comes in through the front door 27 00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:26,387 or from the Cabinet Office or the Cabinet Room or the private office... 28 00:02:27,472 --> 00:02:29,985 Or up the staircase. Hmm. 29 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:34,070 And I was opposite the gents' loo. I have to be opposite the loo! 30 00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:38,626 Have you seen anyone about this? 31 00:02:38,831 --> 00:02:42,825 The gents' loo. Almost everyone in the Cabinet is a man. 32 00:02:42,992 --> 00:02:47,985 I could hear everything they said to each other when they popped out of Cabinet for a pee. 33 00:02:48,912 --> 00:02:54,032 I was able to keep the last Prime Minister fully informed about all their little foibles. 34 00:02:54,231 --> 00:02:58,430 - Was it any of his business? - When they were plotting against him, yes. 35 00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:02,180 Bernard, come in here, please. 36 00:03:02,351 --> 00:03:05,345 Dorothy, you may have your room back. 37 00:03:06,072 --> 00:03:09,858 Bernard, I want you to put Dorothy back into her old office. 38 00:03:10,032 --> 00:03:12,421 Oh, you mean carry her there? 39 00:03:14,671 --> 00:03:18,744 No, I mean return Dorothy to the waiting room outside here. 40 00:03:18,952 --> 00:03:21,829 Before she goes back to HER office, you mean? 41 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:28,262 No, I mean that the waiting room that was once Dorothy's office will again be Dorothy's office. 42 00:03:28,472 --> 00:03:30,938 But what about the waiting room? 43 00:03:31,113 --> 00:03:33,579 Pay attention. Watch my lips move. 44 00:03:34,193 --> 00:03:37,467 The waiting room will become Dorothy's office. 45 00:03:37,671 --> 00:03:41,267 - Yes, but what about waiting? - No, Bernard, at once. 46 00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:44,943 Yes, Prime Minister, I realise you mean at once, no waiting, 47 00:03:45,113 --> 00:03:48,467 but I mean where will people wait if there's no waiting room? 48 00:03:48,671 --> 00:03:54,030 The place is full of waiting rooms. There are state rooms upstairs. There's a lobby there. 49 00:03:54,231 --> 00:03:55,789 Where? 50 00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:59,749 Between the ashtray, the coffee cup and the saucer. 51 00:03:59,952 --> 00:04:04,389 Between the ashtray, the coffee cup and the saucer? 52 00:04:04,590 --> 00:04:07,867 The saucer is the gents' loo. Wake up, Bernard! 53 00:04:12,193 --> 00:04:16,787 Hello, Bill. The PM wants Mrs Wainwright moved back to her old office... 54 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,626 What? Withdraw those instructions at once! 55 00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:23,386 - But the PM just told me to... - Withdraw those instructions! 56 00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:25,706 Bill, hold it. I'll get back. 57 00:04:25,912 --> 00:04:29,700 - Explain yourself. - The PM said to move Mrs Wainwright back. 58 00:04:29,871 --> 00:04:33,341 - There's nothing to explain. - There is everything to explain! 59 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:38,461 We've striven for years to get that woman out. You've snatched defeat from the jaws of victory! 60 00:04:38,671 --> 00:04:41,185 We can't stop the Prime Minister taking advice. 61 00:04:41,352 --> 00:04:45,426 We are here to see that the Prime Minister is not confused. 62 00:04:47,193 --> 00:04:51,981 Politicians are simple people, Bernard. They like simple choices, clear guidance. 63 00:04:52,153 --> 00:04:57,385 They don't like doubt - and that impossible woman makes him doubt everything we tell him! 64 00:04:57,591 --> 00:04:59,582 But he likes her. 65 00:04:59,752 --> 00:05:02,028 Samson liked Delilah. 66 00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:06,421 Good morning, dear lady. This is indeed a pleasure. 67 00:05:06,591 --> 00:05:10,381 Hello, Humphrey. Why aren't you waiting in the waiting room? 68 00:05:11,231 --> 00:05:13,667 Bernard, there is one other thing. 69 00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:16,301 - An alien was admitted yesterday. - An alien? 70 00:05:16,510 --> 00:05:21,792 The Prime Minister's constituency agent was allowed into Number 10 with no security pass. 71 00:05:21,993 --> 00:05:24,347 The police outside recognised him. 72 00:05:24,551 --> 00:05:29,229 That is irrelevant. Everyone must have their Number 10 pass. See to it! 73 00:05:29,392 --> 00:05:31,747 Excuse me for butting in, Bernard, 74 00:05:31,912 --> 00:05:36,906 but the PRIME MINISTER wants me to make arrangements with you to move my room back. 75 00:05:37,113 --> 00:05:40,899 I've just got to deal with Sir Humphrey's request about security passes. 76 00:05:41,113 --> 00:05:43,580 - That can wait. - No, it can't! 77 00:05:43,752 --> 00:05:47,539 The Prime Minister wants me to move back down here right away. 78 00:05:47,711 --> 00:05:49,430 Ah, yes, well, erm... 79 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,984 Prime Minister... 80 00:05:53,711 --> 00:05:59,265 Excuse me. I understand you're having second thoughts about our office reorganisation plan. 81 00:05:59,472 --> 00:06:01,861 Just moving Mrs Wainwright into her old office. 82 00:06:02,073 --> 00:06:06,542 No, Prime Minister, the whole reorganisation depends upon her moving out. 83 00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:09,943 - It's only a waiting room. - A vital square on the board. 84 00:06:10,153 --> 00:06:13,702 Well, people can wait in the lobby or in the staterooms. 85 00:06:13,912 --> 00:06:18,428 Some people. But some people must wait where other people cannot see the people waiting. 86 00:06:18,591 --> 00:06:22,870 And people who arrive before other people must wait where they cannot see other people 87 00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,546 who arrive after them being admitted before them. 88 00:06:25,711 --> 00:06:29,671 And people from outside must wait where they cannot see the people from inside 89 00:06:29,832 --> 00:06:32,868 coming to tell you what the people from outside want to see you about. 90 00:06:33,073 --> 00:06:37,031 And people who arrive when you are with people they should not know you have seen 91 00:06:37,193 --> 00:06:41,185 must wait somewhere until the people who shouldn't have seen you have seen you. 92 00:06:41,352 --> 00:06:44,345 Sounds like an entire Whitehall farce going on out there! 93 00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:47,908 Prime Minister, Number 10 is a railway junction. 94 00:06:48,073 --> 00:06:54,830 It cannot work without its proper components of sheds and sidings and turntables. 95 00:06:54,993 --> 00:06:57,506 Mrs Wainwright's office is a vital shed. 96 00:06:57,671 --> 00:07:00,664 - I find her advice valuable. - And of course it is! 97 00:07:00,832 --> 00:07:03,301 And you shall have it on paper. 98 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:07,466 And if you wish for verbal advice, you can always send for her. 99 00:07:07,631 --> 00:07:10,430 The whole Cabinet can give you political advice. 100 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:15,260 They advise me to give more money to their departments. I need someone on my side. 101 00:07:15,472 --> 00:07:17,939 But I'm on your side. 102 00:07:18,912 --> 00:07:21,903 The whole Civil Service is on your side. 103 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:28,586 680,000 of us. Surely that's enough to be going on with. 104 00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:32,785 - All giving the same advice. - Which proves that it must be correct. 105 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:36,466 Can we return to our original reorganisation plan? 106 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,903 Oh, all right, I suppose so, yes. 107 00:07:41,113 --> 00:07:45,390 It's a pleasure to have a decisive Prime Minister who knows his own mind. 108 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,265 Bernard, find Mrs Wainwright for me, please. 109 00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:52,510 - She's here arranging to move rooms. - Ask her to come back in. 110 00:07:52,711 --> 00:07:54,702 Prime Minister... 111 00:08:02,073 --> 00:08:04,347 Ah...Dorothy! 112 00:08:06,392 --> 00:08:08,064 I... 113 00:08:08,671 --> 00:08:11,140 What did you want to talk about? 114 00:08:11,312 --> 00:08:16,432 - It's about your office. I changed my mind. - Has someone else changed it for you? 115 00:08:16,631 --> 00:08:19,100 No, we really need that waiting room there. 116 00:08:19,312 --> 00:08:20,664 Why? 117 00:08:20,872 --> 00:08:25,867 Because if people come to see people who people didn't know people were coming... 118 00:08:26,033 --> 00:08:31,504 That is, if people saw people coming before people saw them seeing people, 119 00:08:31,671 --> 00:08:33,903 people would see people 120 00:08:34,073 --> 00:08:36,667 and the whole ship would go off the rails. 121 00:08:38,153 --> 00:08:39,948 You see. 122 00:08:40,113 --> 00:08:42,990 Did you work all that out for yourself? 123 00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:47,425 I can't go into everything personally. I must rely on advice from my officials. 124 00:08:47,631 --> 00:08:52,229 Yes, but Humphrey wants to cut off all your sources of information and advice, 125 00:08:52,392 --> 00:08:56,385 except the Civil Service, and make himself the only channel for that. 126 00:08:56,551 --> 00:09:00,783 - If you're happy to let him have his own way... - No, no, no, you're right. 127 00:09:00,952 --> 00:09:04,740 You must have your office back. I need you to be available. 128 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:08,667 The only trouble is I've just told Humphrey I've changed my mind. 129 00:09:08,872 --> 00:09:12,421 - Tell him you've changed it back. - I can't sack Humphrey. 130 00:09:12,631 --> 00:09:15,829 - No, but you could clip his wings a bit. - How? 131 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:19,262 Stop him coming in and going out as if he owned the place. 132 00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:22,943 - He works here. - He works in the Cabinet Office! 133 00:09:24,113 --> 00:09:26,262 This is your home. 134 00:09:27,113 --> 00:09:28,466 Oh. 135 00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:33,903 And on top of all his other jobs, he's also Head of the Home Civil Service, isn't he? 136 00:09:34,113 --> 00:09:38,503 He's responsible for personnel, promotions and appointments and so on. 137 00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:43,064 Pay and rations are the responsibility of the Permanent Head of the Treasury. 138 00:09:43,231 --> 00:09:47,863 So the Head of the Civil Service's job is split between Sir Humphrey and Sir Frank. 139 00:09:48,033 --> 00:09:52,743 Suppose you were to take away his half of the job and give it all to Sir Frank? 140 00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:56,783 Dorothy...that's brilliant. 141 00:09:59,193 --> 00:10:01,707 Bernard, is Sir Humphrey still with you? 142 00:10:01,872 --> 00:10:04,341 Ask him to come back in, would you? 143 00:10:05,912 --> 00:10:07,311 Brilliant. 144 00:10:08,753 --> 00:10:10,744 Prime Minister? 145 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:18,100 Humphrey, erm... I'm thinking of giving Mrs Wainwright her old office back after all. 146 00:10:18,311 --> 00:10:20,778 - Prime Minister... - Yes? 147 00:10:21,311 --> 00:10:23,778 Could we speak privately about this? 148 00:10:23,952 --> 00:10:26,421 You can speak freely in front of me. 149 00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,104 Well, I... 150 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,510 I need time to see whether it's practicable. 151 00:10:35,711 --> 00:10:38,704 All right. But it had better be. 152 00:10:38,912 --> 00:10:41,345 It...might be. 153 00:10:41,552 --> 00:10:46,068 Meantime, I have another important matter to discuss. Would you excuse us? 154 00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:48,222 Dear lady... 155 00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:53,829 - Humphrey, sit down. - Thank you, Prime Minister. 156 00:10:53,993 --> 00:10:57,827 I've been thinking. I feel I ought to try and lighten your load. 157 00:10:58,470 --> 00:11:02,305 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, there's no need. 158 00:11:02,512 --> 00:11:07,302 There is, Humphrey. Apart from everything else, you're Head of the Civil Service. 159 00:11:07,512 --> 00:11:10,024 The Treasury handle pay and rations. 160 00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:13,707 You handle promotions and appointments. It's a bit much. 161 00:11:13,872 --> 00:11:17,707 No, no, no. No, no, no. Hardly takes any time. A doddle. 162 00:11:17,912 --> 00:11:22,064 The promotion and appointment of 680,000 people a doddle? 163 00:11:22,271 --> 00:11:24,309 Well, it's delegated. 164 00:11:24,512 --> 00:11:29,903 If it's delegated already, there'll be no problem about moving it all to the Treasury? 165 00:11:30,113 --> 00:11:34,628 No, that's impossible! The Treasury already have far too much power...work. 166 00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:38,899 Yes, but you see, 167 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:44,064 with you responsible for promotions and appointments and them for pay and rations, 168 00:11:44,231 --> 00:11:48,064 the lines of authority are unclear, it's a bit unsatisfactory. 169 00:11:48,271 --> 00:11:50,738 Well, I could take over pay and rations too. 170 00:11:50,952 --> 00:11:56,470 On top of everything else? Humphrey, I couldn't allow you to make that sort of sacrifice. 171 00:11:56,671 --> 00:11:58,662 It's no trouble at all. 172 00:11:58,872 --> 00:12:03,070 You're too noble, Humphrey, but I can see through your arguments. 173 00:12:04,153 --> 00:12:06,506 Can you? 174 00:12:06,711 --> 00:12:11,104 You want to sacrifice yourself in order to spare me worry, don't you? 175 00:12:11,271 --> 00:12:13,262 Oh, yes. 176 00:12:13,430 --> 00:12:16,903 No, no, no. It's hardly any... It's no sacrifice at all. 177 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:22,104 Humphrey, the more I think of it, the more I think you've got a bit too much on your plate. 178 00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:27,427 I shouldn't keep you here any longer. You must have so much work to do in your own office. 179 00:12:27,591 --> 00:12:30,662 - You mean...? - I mean you may now leave. 180 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:36,262 If you're wanted again at Number 10, you will be sent for. 181 00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:38,820 - You mean when? - I mean when. 182 00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,302 And if. 183 00:12:45,113 --> 00:12:46,908 Bernard... 184 00:12:47,073 --> 00:12:51,988 Would you ask Sir Frank Gordon from the Treasury to see me as soon as possible? 185 00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:02,908 The Permanent Secretary of the Treasury, Prime Minister. 186 00:13:03,113 --> 00:13:06,185 I don't want Humphrey putting his head round the door. 187 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:10,144 - I'll do my best. - That may not be good enough. 188 00:13:10,350 --> 00:13:14,104 Dorothy tells me that technically Humphrey's supposed to phone you 189 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:17,149 before he comes through to Number 10. 190 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:19,867 Perhaps in theory, but it's just a formality. 191 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,421 Good. Humphrey likes formality. 192 00:13:24,231 --> 00:13:29,021 Yes, Prime Minister, but it's a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance. 193 00:13:29,231 --> 00:13:34,466 Must you and Humphrey always express yourself in this roundabout and pompous way? 194 00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:37,622 ''More honoured in the breach than in the observance!'' 195 00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:42,628 Must you destroy the most beautiful language in the world, the language of Shakespeare? 196 00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:45,305 That IS Shakespeare, Prime Minister. 197 00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:50,220 I'll give Sir Humphrey your message. 198 00:13:51,311 --> 00:13:53,302 Sit down, Frank. 199 00:13:54,073 --> 00:13:58,064 - I wanted to sound you out about something. - Of course, Prime Minister. 200 00:13:58,231 --> 00:14:02,622 I'm wondering if Humphrey hasn't got rather too much on his plate. 201 00:14:02,832 --> 00:14:07,189 - I'm sure he can manage. Tremendously able. - He's not overstretched? 202 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:10,269 No, got it all under control. No problem there. 203 00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:15,711 Because I was wondering, speculating about his position as Head of the Civil Service. 204 00:14:17,153 --> 00:14:18,470 Ah. 205 00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:23,662 It could make some sense if everything were to be transferred to the Treasury 206 00:14:23,832 --> 00:14:26,823 if you think you could do part of Humphrey's job? 207 00:14:26,993 --> 00:14:28,311 Oh... 208 00:14:29,671 --> 00:14:32,140 Yes, that could make a lot of sense. 209 00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:35,070 But if, as you say, he's not overstretched... 210 00:14:35,271 --> 00:14:37,738 When I say ''not overstretched'', 211 00:14:37,912 --> 00:14:42,302 I was talking in the sense of total, cumulative loading taken globally, 212 00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:47,466 rather than in respect of certain individual and essentially anomalous responsibilities 213 00:14:47,631 --> 00:14:51,146 which are not, logically speaking, consonant or harmonious 214 00:14:51,311 --> 00:14:54,385 with the broad spectrum of intermeshing functions 215 00:14:54,552 --> 00:14:58,341 and could be said to place an excessive burden on the office 216 00:14:58,512 --> 00:15:04,028 when considered in relation to the exiguous advantages of their overall centralisation. 217 00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:07,341 You COULD do part of Humphrey's job. 218 00:15:14,073 --> 00:15:16,948 Ah, hello. May I speak to Sir Humphrey, please? 219 00:15:17,113 --> 00:15:19,707 - Yes, Bernard. - Oh, hello, Sir Humphrey. 220 00:15:21,993 --> 00:15:23,984 Oh, Sir Humphrey, hello. 221 00:15:24,193 --> 00:15:26,658 - Hello. - Bernard here. 222 00:15:28,872 --> 00:15:30,988 So I see. 223 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:36,747 - You're just the person I want to talk to. - Here I am in person. Even better. 224 00:15:36,952 --> 00:15:40,707 Well, yes and no. Erm, Sir Humphrey... 225 00:15:40,872 --> 00:15:42,863 Yes, Bernard? 226 00:15:43,033 --> 00:15:47,899 The Prime Minister has asked me to remind you that it might be more convenient, 227 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:51,189 that is, it might involve you in less hanging around... 228 00:15:52,271 --> 00:15:57,345 ..if you were to phone through from the Cabinet Office before popping over to see us. 229 00:15:58,631 --> 00:16:01,466 - It's not inconvenient at all. - Yes, it is. 230 00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:04,510 - No, it isn't. - Yes, it is. 231 00:16:09,073 --> 00:16:11,539 - Is the Prime Minister busy? - Yes. 232 00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:14,225 - With what? - Just paperwork. 233 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:18,704 - I'll just have a word with him. - He's doing his paperwork with somebody. 234 00:16:18,872 --> 00:16:21,341 - He's got somebody with him? - Yes. 235 00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:23,787 Who? Who, Bernard? 236 00:16:24,271 --> 00:16:26,738 - Permanent Secretary of the Treasury. - I see. 237 00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:31,662 If you want to see the Prime Minister, it is better to phone and ask. Sir Humphrey, no! 238 00:16:31,872 --> 00:16:37,470 If you were to become Head of the Home Civil Service, would there, do you think, be any...? 239 00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:44,470 - Humphrey! - Prime Minister... 240 00:16:45,193 --> 00:16:47,421 What are you doing here? 241 00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,061 I was just wondering if I could be of service. 242 00:16:50,231 --> 00:16:53,702 - Didn't Bernard tell you I was in a meeting? - Yes, he did. 243 00:16:54,311 --> 00:16:56,427 Well, what do you want? 244 00:16:56,591 --> 00:17:01,792 Well, I thought that as it was with one of my professional colleagues that I might be... 245 00:17:01,952 --> 00:17:03,943 Hello, Frank! 246 00:17:04,113 --> 00:17:06,627 ..might be able to make a contribution. 247 00:17:06,832 --> 00:17:09,301 I see. No, thank you. 248 00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:10,951 Ah. 249 00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:15,386 - Thank you, Humphrey. - Thank YOU, Prime Minister. 250 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:18,064 This is a private meeting, Humphrey. 251 00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:22,787 - Do you want me to shut the door? - Yes, please. 252 00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,461 No, Humphrey. 253 00:17:26,752 --> 00:17:28,868 From the other side. 254 00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,828 - May one ask why? - Perhaps I should leave... 255 00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:36,912 - Humphrey, please leave now. - In what sense do you mean ''leave''? 256 00:17:37,113 --> 00:17:38,828 Go! 257 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,944 Very well, Prime Minister. 258 00:17:42,153 --> 00:17:46,667 You too, please, Frank. We'll continue this on another occasion. Bernard! 259 00:17:47,993 --> 00:17:51,667 Why did you let Sir Humphrey come in when I told you not to? 260 00:17:51,832 --> 00:17:54,345 I couldn't stop him. He's bigger than me. 261 00:17:56,792 --> 00:18:00,627 He must be confined to the Cabinet Office. Lock the communicating door. 262 00:18:00,832 --> 00:18:04,109 - He has a key. - Take his key away from him. 263 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:06,778 You take his key away from him! 264 00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:11,345 Sorry, but I don't think it's within my power. 265 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:14,667 I'm giving you the power, Bernard. I'm authorising you. 266 00:18:14,872 --> 00:18:17,625 But I don't know whether I... I mean... 267 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:19,792 Crikey! 268 00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:22,778 He'll go completely potty. 269 00:18:22,952 --> 00:18:25,020 (CHUCKLES) 270 00:18:25,631 --> 00:18:28,510 - It's up to you, Bernard. - Yes, but... 271 00:18:28,671 --> 00:18:31,104 - Freedom, Bernard. - Yes, but... 272 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,747 - I'm authorising you, Bernard. - Yes. 273 00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:38,149 You alone will have access to the Prime Minister. 274 00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:39,743 But... 275 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,069 But me no buts, Bernard... Shakespeare. 276 00:18:44,872 --> 00:18:47,863 No, Prime Minister, ''but me no buts'' is circa 1820. 277 00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:53,426 Mrs Centlivre used the phrase in 1708, but it was Scott's employment of it in 1816 278 00:18:53,631 --> 00:18:56,100 which made it fashionable. 279 00:18:57,952 --> 00:19:00,466 Shall we keep to the point, please, Bernard? 280 00:19:00,631 --> 00:19:03,144 Yes, Prime Minister. There's only one problem. 281 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:07,591 If I'm to take his key away from him, what reason can I possibly give? 282 00:19:07,792 --> 00:19:11,229 - For God's sake, find a reason! - Yes! Yes, Prime Minister. 283 00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:14,828 - Thank you, Prime Minister. - Thank me no thankings, Bernard. 284 00:19:15,511 --> 00:19:16,991 Hacker. 285 00:19:26,671 --> 00:19:28,662 Hello, Bernard? 286 00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:33,622 It's me. I'm coming through to Number 10. I'd like a word with the Prime Minister. 287 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:37,542 - What did you say? - I said ''no'', Sir Humphrey. 288 00:19:37,752 --> 00:19:39,743 - No? - Yes. 289 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,586 That's better. I thought you said ''no''. 290 00:19:42,792 --> 00:19:45,305 I did say ''no''. The Prime Minister is busy. 291 00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:49,024 - Then I'll come and see YOU. - I'm busy too. 292 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,064 What? 293 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:56,140 - You do not have permission to come in. - I'm coming anyway! You little runt! 294 00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:00,778 - He couldn't believe it. - What did he say? 295 00:20:00,952 --> 00:20:05,627 He's coming anyway. He can't come in. I told Security to take his key from his office. 296 00:20:07,113 --> 00:20:10,104 - My God! - No, Bernard, it's just your boss. 297 00:20:10,872 --> 00:20:13,341 - I'm staggered. - I'm fairly surprised myself. 298 00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:17,511 - How did you get through a solid door? - Where's my key? 299 00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:22,430 The Prime Minister told me to have it removed. 300 00:20:22,631 --> 00:20:26,145 - That's quite correct. - It's nothing to do with you. Thank you. 301 00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:29,667 The Prime Minister does not have the power to take my key. 302 00:20:29,832 --> 00:20:32,345 - It's his house. - It's a government building. 303 00:20:32,551 --> 00:20:38,069 It's his decision who comes into his house. I don't give my mother-in-law my house key. 304 00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:41,470 I am not the Prime Minister's mother-in-law, Bernard! 305 00:20:44,153 --> 00:20:46,426 Look, Bernard... 306 00:20:47,192 --> 00:20:51,502 - Would you excuse us, dear lady? - Yes, carry on. 307 00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:57,868 Bernard, I don't want us to fall out over this. 308 00:20:59,153 --> 00:21:01,984 It's so petty of the Prime Minister. 309 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:07,466 You and I will have to work together for some years yet, but Prime Ministers come and go. 310 00:21:08,153 --> 00:21:12,384 Whereas your career prospects depend upon those who have the power 311 00:21:12,551 --> 00:21:15,908 over promotions and appointments on a long-term basis. 312 00:21:16,631 --> 00:21:19,305 I must insist you tell me how you came in. 313 00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:23,069 - Sorry. - You must have a personal key. 314 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,984 Now, I insist you hand it over! 315 00:21:29,551 --> 00:21:31,939 Well done, Bernard. 316 00:21:36,511 --> 00:21:38,743 Hello, is that Security? 317 00:21:38,912 --> 00:21:43,381 Change the locks on the door connecting the Cabinet Office to this house 318 00:21:43,551 --> 00:21:45,783 and bring me all the keys. 319 00:21:45,952 --> 00:21:48,225 Yes, all the keys! At once! 320 00:21:50,792 --> 00:21:53,305 Right, well, thank you, gentlemen. 321 00:21:55,390 --> 00:21:57,859 - Oh, Frank! - Yes? 322 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,461 Good meeting with the PM? 323 00:22:03,631 --> 00:22:05,622 Yes, very good. 324 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:08,260 Any particular subject come up? 325 00:22:08,430 --> 00:22:11,024 Any particular subject you're interested in? 326 00:22:11,192 --> 00:22:13,341 No, not particularly. 327 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:18,390 - He didn't talk about service appointments? - It may have cropped up. 328 00:22:18,551 --> 00:22:21,542 Did he foreshadow any redistribution of responsibility? 329 00:22:21,752 --> 00:22:24,140 It was a wide-ranging discussion. 330 00:22:24,952 --> 00:22:27,421 Did it move towards any conclusion? 331 00:22:27,631 --> 00:22:30,100 There were arguments on both sides. 332 00:22:31,671 --> 00:22:33,662 Evenly balanced? 333 00:22:33,832 --> 00:22:37,220 Perhaps tending slightly more one way than the other. 334 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:42,586 - But nothing to worry about? - Nothing for ME to worry about. 335 00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:45,741 See you this afternoon. 336 00:22:55,591 --> 00:22:58,060 Bernard, I'm coming through to Number 10. 337 00:22:58,270 --> 00:23:00,707 Sir Humphrey, it is not convenient. 338 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:02,980 I'm coming anyway! 339 00:23:03,153 --> 00:23:05,586 He thinks he's coming anyway. 340 00:23:22,752 --> 00:23:25,265 Open this door! Open this door! 341 00:23:28,113 --> 00:23:30,908 You'll pay for this! Open the bloody door! 342 00:24:02,792 --> 00:24:05,305 I'm sorry, sir. Do you have an appointment? 343 00:24:05,832 --> 00:24:09,984 - I'm Sir Humphrey Appleby. - I know. Do you have an appointment? 344 00:24:10,153 --> 00:24:14,509 - I'm the Cabinet Secretary! - Yes, sir. Do you have an appointment? 345 00:24:14,671 --> 00:24:17,903 I don't need an appointment. I've got a pass! 346 00:24:18,113 --> 00:24:20,180 May I see it, sir? 347 00:24:24,752 --> 00:24:26,743 If you insist. 348 00:24:27,832 --> 00:24:30,185 All right now? 349 00:24:30,350 --> 00:24:33,948 No, sir, that's a Cabinet Office pass, not a Number 10 pass. 350 00:24:34,113 --> 00:24:38,502 - You know me, damn it! - There's a new top security instruction, sir. 351 00:24:38,671 --> 00:24:43,872 No one may enter without a Number 10 pass unless they're on the daily list. 352 00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:47,189 Unless Mr Bernard Woolley gives permission. 353 00:24:47,390 --> 00:24:51,144 - Would you like me to phone Mr Woolley, sir? - Yes... No. 354 00:24:52,511 --> 00:24:54,787 - Yes. - Was that a ''yes'', sir? 355 00:24:57,952 --> 00:24:59,269 Yes. 356 00:25:01,310 --> 00:25:05,305 I have Sir Humphrey Appleby here wishing to enter by the front door. 357 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:08,269 Ask Mr Woolley if he may be admitted. 358 00:25:08,470 --> 00:25:10,827 (RADIO CRACKLES) 359 00:25:14,310 --> 00:25:19,591 They can't find Mr Woolley at the moment and he left no word, so we can't let you in. 360 00:25:46,310 --> 00:25:48,701 Oh, look, it's Humphrey! 361 00:25:59,153 --> 00:26:01,618 (ALARM GOES OFF) 362 00:26:06,310 --> 00:26:09,908 - Turn that noise off! - It's all right. It's only Sir Humphrey. 363 00:26:10,073 --> 00:26:13,269 (PRIME MINISTER) It's all right. I'm perfectly safe! 364 00:26:16,711 --> 00:26:18,908 (ALARM STOPS) 365 00:26:20,153 --> 00:26:23,189 Sir Humphrey, to what do we owe this pleasure? 366 00:26:24,952 --> 00:26:29,185 Prime Minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms... 367 00:26:29,952 --> 00:26:33,863 my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice 368 00:26:34,033 --> 00:26:37,149 which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions 369 00:26:37,310 --> 00:26:41,305 upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy 370 00:26:41,470 --> 00:26:45,863 which will, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, 371 00:26:46,033 --> 00:26:49,421 precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication 372 00:26:49,591 --> 00:26:53,711 and culminate in organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis 373 00:26:53,872 --> 00:26:58,866 which will render impossible the coherent discharge of the function of government 374 00:26:59,033 --> 00:27:03,546 within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. 375 00:27:05,671 --> 00:27:08,140 You mean you've lost your key? 376 00:27:11,113 --> 00:27:14,386 Prime Minister, I must insist upon a new one. 377 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:19,586 In due course, Humphrey. At the appropriate juncture. In the fullness of time. 378 00:27:20,591 --> 00:27:26,144 Meanwhile, we have another important, more urgent decision to make about Dorothy's office. 379 00:27:26,350 --> 00:27:29,345 - Quite. - Surely that can wait. 380 00:27:29,551 --> 00:27:32,269 It must be resolved now, one way or the other. 381 00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:35,024 It's like the question of the key really. 382 00:27:35,511 --> 00:27:38,024 I'd be interested to hear your views. 383 00:27:38,192 --> 00:27:40,707 They are really the KEY to the problem. 384 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:43,984 What do you think? 385 00:27:44,153 --> 00:27:45,663 Well, I... 386 00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:52,225 I think perhaps on reflection that Mrs Wainwright does need to be nearer this room. 387 00:27:53,113 --> 00:27:55,578 So we'll move her back, shall we? 388 00:27:56,073 --> 00:27:57,551 Yes. 389 00:27:58,511 --> 00:28:00,502 At once? 390 00:28:00,671 --> 00:28:02,229 Yes. 391 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:05,707 Splendid. Bernard, do you have a spare key? 392 00:28:13,591 --> 00:28:15,868 Prime Minister... 393 00:28:17,792 --> 00:28:21,229 There is...one other question, Prime Minister. 394 00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:27,426 May one enquire who is to be Head of the Home Civil Service? 395 00:28:27,631 --> 00:28:29,622 Why, you, Humphrey. 396 00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:31,783 Or possibly Frank. 397 00:28:33,192 --> 00:28:35,787 Or perhaps both. I haven't decided yet. 398 00:28:36,350 --> 00:28:38,944 But whatever happens, it's my decision. 399 00:28:39,912 --> 00:28:41,903 Isn't it, Humphrey? 400 00:28:42,511 --> 00:28:44,944 Yes, Prime Minister. 401 00:28:46,887 --> 00:28:59,321 http://episode-heaven.rt.hu