1 00:00:38,975 --> 00:00:44,971 - Alan, it's really a very reasonable plan. - Tell that to the Chief of Defence Staff. 2 00:00:45,135 --> 00:00:50,129 - Why is he late? Not very soldierly. - It's this plan. The Ministry's in turmoil. 3 00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:53,446 It's a relocation proposal, not a Russian invasion. 4 00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:58,006 Be all right if it was. We know what we could do to repel that. 5 00:00:58,175 --> 00:01:00,973 - Could you repel it? - No. 6 00:01:01,135 --> 00:01:06,926 - But we don't have to do any thinking about it. - Let's look at this from the PM's point of view. 7 00:01:07,095 --> 00:01:10,087 We have 420,000 service personnel. 8 00:01:10,255 --> 00:01:14,851 Only 20,000 are stationed in the north. Almost everything's in the south. 9 00:01:15,015 --> 00:01:19,406 Navy at Portsmouth, Air Force in Bedford and the Army in Aldershot. 10 00:01:19,575 --> 00:01:23,329 Almost nothing north of The Wash where the unemployment is. 11 00:01:23,495 --> 00:01:26,771 - Servicemen come from the north. - But spend in the south. 12 00:01:26,935 --> 00:01:29,733 Inevitable. That's where they are now. 13 00:01:29,895 --> 00:01:34,127 Anyway, there's nothing to spend it on in the north, is there? 14 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,492 - Chief of Defence Staff. - This cannot happen... 15 00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:41,614 Don't attack me, I'm on your side, but it is a strong argument. 16 00:01:41,775 --> 00:01:47,805 Move 200,000 or 300,000 service personnel up north and you create masses of civilian jobs. 17 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,773 Clerks, suppliers, builders, vehicle maintenance. 18 00:01:50,935 --> 00:01:53,972 300,000 extra pay packets spent in the shops. 19 00:01:54,135 --> 00:01:56,808 You can't move thousands of men like that. 20 00:01:56,975 --> 00:02:02,447 - I thought that's what you did with armies. - You bring 'em back! This'd be permanent. 21 00:02:02,615 --> 00:02:06,733 Guy, can any servicemen be stationed permanently in the north? 22 00:02:06,895 --> 00:02:09,614 I suppose other ranks, junior officers, 23 00:02:09,775 --> 00:02:14,371 but you can't ask senior officers to live permanently in the north! 24 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:18,005 The wives wouldn't stand for it for one thing. Children's schools. 25 00:02:18,175 --> 00:02:21,326 I understand there are schools in the north of England. 26 00:02:21,495 --> 00:02:27,092 What about Harrods? What about Wimbledon? Ascot? Henley? The Army and Navy Club? 27 00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:31,407 I mean civilisation, generally! It's just not on! 28 00:02:31,575 --> 00:02:34,043 This is being discussed in Cabinet. 29 00:02:34,215 --> 00:02:39,414 We need more serious arguments than senior officers' wives being 300 miles from Harrods. 30 00:02:39,575 --> 00:02:43,329 What's more serious?! Chaps like us might have to move up there! 31 00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:46,692 But are there any strategic arguments against the move? 32 00:02:46,855 --> 00:02:51,975 - We can find those against anything. - But would they stand up to expert scrutiny? 33 00:02:52,135 --> 00:02:57,129 They won't get expert scrutiny. We'll make it top secret like we always do with defence. 34 00:02:57,295 --> 00:03:02,494 - Prime Minister only. - Then they certainly won't get expert scrutiny. 35 00:03:02,655 --> 00:03:07,854 But I wonder whether we might not do better to play the man instead of the ball. 36 00:03:08,015 --> 00:03:10,609 - Which man? - The Employment Secretary. 37 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:14,165 - This was his suggestion. - Ah, yes. 38 00:03:14,335 --> 00:03:18,010 Suggest to the PM the Employment Secretary is plotting against him. 39 00:03:18,175 --> 00:03:20,643 - Is he? - Not as far as I know. 40 00:03:20,815 --> 00:03:25,969 But the question is whether the Prime Minister can be made to believe that he is. 41 00:03:26,135 --> 00:03:28,171 Any chance of getting rid of him? 42 00:03:28,335 --> 00:03:32,613 - The PM? He's only just house-trained. - The Employment Secretary. 43 00:03:32,775 --> 00:03:34,970 Field Marshal, are you suggesting 44 00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:39,970 humble civil servants should presume to remove a member of HM Government from Cabinet? 45 00:03:40,135 --> 00:03:42,933 - Yes. - Out of the question. 46 00:03:43,095 --> 00:03:46,087 Only the Prime Minister can remove ministers, 47 00:03:46,255 --> 00:03:51,283 but if the Prime Minister came to suspect the loyalty of a member of his Cabinet... 48 00:03:51,455 --> 00:03:56,734 Only someone with advanced paranoia would suspect the Employment Secretary of a plot. 49 00:03:56,895 --> 00:03:59,887 Really? Then we're in with a chance. 50 00:04:02,215 --> 00:04:06,652 Other business. Employment Secretary, you wanted views on your paper. 51 00:04:06,815 --> 00:04:10,524 Yes, my plan to reduce unemployment in the northeast 52 00:04:10,695 --> 00:04:14,165 by moving various defence establishments up there. 53 00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:16,530 Defence Secretary, what's your view? 54 00:04:16,695 --> 00:04:18,686 I know, on the face of it, 55 00:04:18,855 --> 00:04:22,894 this plan looks as though it benefits employment in depressed areas, 56 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:28,652 but this is to be achieved, as I understand it, by relocating most defence establishments. 57 00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:32,933 This affects the Defence Department as well as Employment. 58 00:04:33,095 --> 00:04:38,647 - I need time to do a feasibility study. - Anybody else have an opinion? Quickly. 59 00:04:38,815 --> 00:04:43,206 I don't know much about it, but it does sound a serious upheaval. 60 00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:45,366 - Expensive. - A big move. 61 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,526 I'm in favour of the proposal. 62 00:04:47,695 --> 00:04:50,926 - So am I. - Absolutely! 63 00:04:51,095 --> 00:04:54,849 Looks as though the Defence Secretary is in a minority of one. 64 00:04:55,015 --> 00:04:59,850 I am the responsible minister. The defence of the realm is in question. 65 00:05:00,015 --> 00:05:03,724 We'll have a full discussion at our next meeting on Friday 66 00:05:03,895 --> 00:05:06,363 and then put it to Cabinet for approval. 67 00:05:06,535 --> 00:05:10,323 Thank you. May I request that it be noted in the minutes 68 00:05:10,495 --> 00:05:15,444 that the Cabinet Committee was in favour of my plan save for one member? 69 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:19,608 The member whose department would be reorganised. It's a problem. 70 00:05:19,775 --> 00:05:25,008 May I remind the Secretary of State for Defence that every problem is also an opportunity? 71 00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:27,530 (CABINET) Hear hear! 72 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:33,884 The Secretary of State for Defence fears that this may create some insoluble opportunities. 73 00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:36,011 Nonsense. 74 00:05:44,495 --> 00:05:48,454 - Er, Prime Minister... - Oh, still here, Humphrey? 75 00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:54,167 Yes. I wonder if I could have a word with you about the Employment Secretary's plan. 76 00:05:55,095 --> 00:05:59,930 - Yes, terrific, isn't it? - The service chiefs aren't entirely happy. 77 00:06:00,095 --> 00:06:01,813 Good. 78 00:06:03,095 --> 00:06:06,690 - Do I have your full attention? - Of course you do. 79 00:06:06,855 --> 00:06:09,449 - I'm just reading these notes. - Mm-hm. 80 00:06:09,615 --> 00:06:13,005 Prime Minister, there's been an earthquake in Haslemere. 81 00:06:16,535 --> 00:06:18,093 Good. 82 00:06:19,935 --> 00:06:22,733 - What? - The service chiefs don't like this plan. 83 00:06:22,895 --> 00:06:26,649 Taking their wives away from Wimbledon and Harrods! 84 00:06:26,815 --> 00:06:32,526 Prime Minister, that is unworthy. Their personal feelings don't come into it. 85 00:06:32,695 --> 00:06:37,007 - Their objections are entirely strategic. - Oh, strategic, of course. 86 00:06:37,175 --> 00:06:42,772 The Admiralty needs a deep-water port so that has to be at Bath, 30 miles inland. 87 00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:47,565 The job of the Marines is to defend Norway, so we station them at Plymouth. 88 00:06:47,735 --> 00:06:53,093 Army vehicle trials take place in Scotland, so the engineering establishment has to be in Surrey. 89 00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:56,486 Well, these are just isolated examples. 90 00:06:58,175 --> 00:07:01,884 I've got another 700 isolated examples. 91 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,764 - Why are you against it, Humphrey? - I assure you I'm not against it. 92 00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:09,974 I'm simply furnishing you with the appropriate questions - like that of cost. 93 00:07:10,135 --> 00:07:12,729 That's the beauty of it - it makes money. 94 00:07:12,895 --> 00:07:18,174 We sell all these expensive properties in the south and move "up north"! 95 00:07:18,335 --> 00:07:21,133 You think the Employment Secretary has done well? 96 00:07:21,295 --> 00:07:25,083 - Indeed I do. He's a good chap. - Oh, I quite agree. 97 00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:28,611 Absolutely brilliant. 98 00:07:28,775 --> 00:07:30,766 Superb intellect. 99 00:07:30,935 --> 00:07:35,531 Strong footwork, excellent elbows. A major figure, without a doubt. 100 00:07:35,695 --> 00:07:39,847 - He's not that good. - But he is a good chap, wouldn't you say? 101 00:07:40,015 --> 00:07:43,564 - I've just said so. - Oh, yes, indeed. Very popular. 102 00:07:43,735 --> 00:07:46,295 - Is he? - Oh, yes! 103 00:07:46,455 --> 00:07:48,844 - Not as popular as that, surely? - Oh, yes. 104 00:07:49,015 --> 00:07:53,327 - In Whitehall and with the parliamentary party. - I suppose, yes. 105 00:07:53,495 --> 00:07:56,373 - And with the grass roots, I'm told. - Are you? 106 00:07:56,535 --> 00:08:00,210 - And he has quite a following in Cabinet, too. - Does he? 107 00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:04,254 People are beginning to talk about him as the next Prime Minister. 108 00:08:04,415 --> 00:08:09,614 - What... What do you mean? - Oh, I mean when you decide to retire. 109 00:08:09,775 --> 00:08:16,374 I'm not going to retire! I've only just got here! Why are people talking about the next PM? 110 00:08:16,535 --> 00:08:19,447 I'm sure it's just general speculation. 111 00:08:20,335 --> 00:08:24,647 - Does he want to be Prime Minister? - Well, even if he does... 112 00:08:24,815 --> 00:08:28,285 ...surely you've got no reason to suspect his loyalty? 113 00:08:28,455 --> 00:08:31,845 He isn't planning to build up a personal following, is he? 114 00:08:32,015 --> 00:08:34,609 Isn't he? 115 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:38,927 - Is he? - Spends a hell of a lot of time making speeches. 116 00:08:39,095 --> 00:08:43,725 Only as a loyal minister. I'm sure he pays tributes to you in them, doesn't he? 117 00:08:43,895 --> 00:08:47,490 Does he? Bernard, get me his last six speeches. 118 00:08:47,655 --> 00:08:51,045 Er, yes, I'm just getting them, Prime Minister. 119 00:08:51,215 --> 00:08:53,934 He chats up back benchers in the tea room. 120 00:08:54,095 --> 00:08:57,292 You told ministers to take more trouble to communicate. 121 00:08:57,455 --> 00:09:00,891 - And he has them round to dinner parties. - Oh, does he? 122 00:09:01,055 --> 00:09:04,092 - Worrying. - The Employment Secretary's speeches. 123 00:09:04,255 --> 00:09:10,251 I'm sure he talked about the new PM bringing new hope to Britain, the dawn of a new age. 124 00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:16,570 You know, that leaflet you told Party HQ to issue to all MPs and constituencies. 125 00:09:16,735 --> 00:09:21,206 - No, not a word. - Oh, now that IS odd. 126 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:25,368 It's more than odd, it's suspicious. Bloody suspicious! 127 00:09:25,535 --> 00:09:29,323 Even so, he surely isn't actively plotting against you. 128 00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:32,055 - Isn't he? - Is he? 129 00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:36,606 - How do I know he's not? - I'm sure you can always find out. 130 00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:41,766 - Get me the Chief Whip. - Yes, Prime Minister. Get me the Chief Whip. 131 00:09:41,935 --> 00:09:45,723 - Now! - Now! Oh, hello, Chief Whip. 132 00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:49,490 Are you at No.12? The PM wants to see you urgently. 133 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,249 - Now! - Now! Thank you. 134 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,250 - Sir Humphrey. - Yes? 135 00:10:00,415 --> 00:10:03,248 - I'm troubled by what I've learned. - What? 136 00:10:03,415 --> 00:10:09,092 I feel I've had my eyes shut. I never realised there was a plot against the Prime Minister. 137 00:10:09,895 --> 00:10:13,205 Is there? How interesting. 138 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:17,163 - But you said there was. - I said nothing, nothing at all. 139 00:10:17,335 --> 00:10:20,327 You mean... Oh. 140 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,963 - Do you know if there is a plot? - No. 141 00:10:23,135 --> 00:10:26,207 - No, there isn't? Or, no, you don't know? - Yes. 142 00:10:27,455 --> 00:10:30,765 What exactly has the Employment Secretary done? 143 00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:35,645 - Nothing yet, and we must keep it that way. - But isn't his plan a good one? 144 00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:37,806 - For whom? - The country. 145 00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:40,443 - That is hardly the point. - Why not? 146 00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:44,813 Bernard, when you move on from here, where do you plan to go? 147 00:10:44,975 --> 00:10:48,126 Well, I... er... I... I don't know. 148 00:10:48,295 --> 00:10:52,846 - Like to be in charge of defence procurement? - Oh, gosh... 149 00:10:53,015 --> 00:10:57,213 - In Sunderland or Berwick or Lossiemouth? - Is that a place? 150 00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,970 - Lossiemouth? What'd you think it was? - A dog food. 151 00:11:03,055 --> 00:11:07,765 If the Employment Secretary has his way, you may get a diet of Lossiemouth. 152 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,653 - See? - Yes. 153 00:11:09,815 --> 00:11:12,409 - How can it be good for the country? - It can't. 154 00:11:12,575 --> 00:11:16,170 Why will the Chief Whip confirm a plot that doesn't exist? 155 00:11:16,335 --> 00:11:22,524 He's bound to hedge. The Chief Whip cannot state that there's no plot just in case there is. 156 00:11:22,695 --> 00:11:27,166 - He has to cover himself. Good morning. - Could you wait in the private office? 157 00:11:27,335 --> 00:11:32,455 Bernard... now go in there and inform me of their conversation. 158 00:11:32,615 --> 00:11:35,175 I'm not sure I can. It might be confidential. 159 00:11:35,335 --> 00:11:40,728 Bernard, the matter at issue is the defence of the realm and the stability of the government. 160 00:11:40,895 --> 00:11:43,807 You only need to know things on a need-to-know basis. 161 00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:46,808 I need to know everything! 162 00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:51,894 How else can I judge whether or not I need to know it? 163 00:11:53,215 --> 00:11:57,208 So you need to know things even when you don't need to know them? 164 00:11:57,375 --> 00:12:02,085 You need to know them because you need to know whether or not you need to know. 165 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:06,965 If you don't need to know, you need to know so you know there was no need to know. 166 00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:10,127 - Yes! - Good. That's very clear. 167 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,730 Chief Whip, Prime Minister. 168 00:12:19,135 --> 00:12:21,126 Morning, Prime Minister. 169 00:12:23,255 --> 00:12:27,453 - How are things going, Chief Whip? - Oh, quite well, really. Why? 170 00:12:28,495 --> 00:12:32,693 - You've noticed nothing? - Well, it's a difficult time. 171 00:12:32,855 --> 00:12:35,847 Bit of unrest on the back benches... 172 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:40,167 What... did you have in mind precisely? 173 00:12:40,335 --> 00:12:42,371 A plot. A leadership challenge? 174 00:12:43,255 --> 00:12:46,053 Ah. Yes... 175 00:12:47,055 --> 00:12:51,253 Well, actually, I have no real evidence of anything. 176 00:12:51,415 --> 00:12:55,124 - But you have suspicions? - Oh, I always have suspicions. 177 00:12:55,295 --> 00:12:59,925 - How far has it got? - Oh, only a very... um... very... um... 178 00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:04,407 - Early stage? - Early stage. As far as one can tell. 179 00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,809 Should you have a word with him? 180 00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:13,652 I don't want to lose him from the Cabinet. I... just want him under control. 181 00:13:13,815 --> 00:13:16,852 Perhaps you should have a word with him yourself. 182 00:13:17,015 --> 00:13:21,486 No, no, no, no. No, not at this stage. Who else is involved? 183 00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,646 Apart from... 184 00:13:26,295 --> 00:13:29,446 - Apart from Dudley, obviously. - Dudley? 185 00:13:29,615 --> 00:13:34,405 Yes, of course, apart from Dudley. Well, apart from Dudley... 186 00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:40,610 Well, it's... um... It's a bit early to say. There may be nothing in it. 187 00:13:40,775 --> 00:13:44,245 - I'm not taking any risks. - No, absolutely not! 188 00:13:44,415 --> 00:13:47,532 I'll go and make a few more enquiries. 189 00:13:47,695 --> 00:13:49,811 (TO HIMSELF) Dudley? 190 00:13:49,975 --> 00:13:51,567 Yes. 191 00:13:52,735 --> 00:13:57,525 I presume the PM's in favour of the scheme because it'll reduce unemployment. 192 00:13:57,695 --> 00:14:00,687 It'll look as if he's reducing unemployment. 193 00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:03,574 Or look as if he's TRYING to reduce it. 194 00:14:03,735 --> 00:14:08,604 Whereas he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment. 195 00:14:08,775 --> 00:14:15,374 Because he's worried that it doesn't LOOK as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce it. 196 00:14:15,535 --> 00:14:19,323 - So how are you going to stop it? - Well, Arnold, the Prime Minis... 197 00:14:19,495 --> 00:14:21,690 The PM has come to suspect 198 00:14:21,855 --> 00:14:26,292 the plan may be the start of a leadership bid by the Employment Secretary. 199 00:14:26,455 --> 00:14:31,734 How ridiculous, but the higher the office, the higher the level of paranoia. 200 00:14:31,895 --> 00:14:35,604 Fortunately, yes, but paranoia needs something to feed on. 201 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,767 Nothing like press leaks for paranoia fodder. 202 00:14:38,935 --> 00:14:44,248 What if there should be a headline about the Employment Secretary's brilliant plan 203 00:14:44,415 --> 00:14:46,610 being blocked by the Prime Minister? 204 00:14:46,775 --> 00:14:50,609 - Man overboard! - With any luck. 205 00:14:50,775 --> 00:14:55,053 But the trouble is a Cabinet Secretary cannot be party to a leak. 206 00:14:55,215 --> 00:14:59,686 - No, of course not. - Whereas a FORMER Cabinet Secretary... 207 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:06,447 Presumably, as chairman of the Campaign for Freedom of Information, 208 00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:11,370 you have a... a duty to make certain facts available. 209 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:15,448 Are you suggesting I give confidential information to the press? 210 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,765 Certainly not, Arnold. 211 00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:20,927 This is confidential disinformation. 212 00:15:21,095 --> 00:15:23,211 Ah, that's different. 213 00:15:27,295 --> 00:15:32,892 Oh, excuse me. Is that the evening paper for the Prime Minister? May I? Thank you. 214 00:15:35,015 --> 00:15:39,486 Ah, good. Look, I have to have an urgent word with him. 215 00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:45,651 I wonder if you'd be kind enough to bring that in in, say, three minutes. Thank you. 216 00:15:48,335 --> 00:15:52,533 - Thank you, Bernard. - Humphrey, I know what's been going on! 217 00:15:52,695 --> 00:15:54,413 - You do? - Yes! 218 00:15:54,575 --> 00:16:00,764 A scheme has been hatched behind my back, a disloyal, treacherous plot, and I won't tolerate it. 219 00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:03,244 - I've spoken to the Chief Whip. - And? 220 00:16:03,415 --> 00:16:08,205 He says he has his suspicions. He's going to make enquiries. 221 00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:11,685 He can't tell me more till he has something solid. You see? 222 00:16:11,855 --> 00:16:15,245 - What? - The Employment Secretary is plotting! 223 00:16:15,415 --> 00:16:20,125 - Come on, Humphrey! - Well, I must say, I am surprised. 224 00:16:21,575 --> 00:16:24,772 I should've thought all your Cabinet were loyal. 225 00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:28,530 Loyal! You know what loyalty in a Cabinet minister means? 226 00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:33,325 His fear of losing his own job is slightly greater than his hope of pinching mine. 227 00:16:33,495 --> 00:16:35,884 But with collective responsibility... 228 00:16:36,055 --> 00:16:39,843 If we do something popular, they leak that it was their idea. 229 00:16:40,015 --> 00:16:43,052 If it's unpopular, they leak they were against it. 230 00:16:43,215 --> 00:16:46,924 We're governed on the principle of collective irresponsibility. 231 00:16:47,095 --> 00:16:49,655 - Hah hah (!) - Why do they want your job? 232 00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:55,890 Because I'm the only member of the government who can't be sent to Northern Ireland next week. 233 00:16:56,055 --> 00:17:01,254 I can't believe that the Employment Secretary is actively plotting against you. 234 00:17:01,415 --> 00:17:03,610 What more proof do you want? 235 00:17:03,775 --> 00:17:09,691 This proposal to send defence establishments up north is bound to be leaked to the press. 236 00:17:09,855 --> 00:17:13,245 - Bound to be. - If it were leaked as HIS plan, 237 00:17:13,415 --> 00:17:17,727 it'd confirm your suspicions, but I'm sure it'll go out as a government plan. 238 00:17:17,895 --> 00:17:21,604 - Are you? I'm not. - Ah, the evening paper. 239 00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:30,892 Good God! Look! Swine! There's your proof, Humphrey! 240 00:17:32,255 --> 00:17:34,849 Good heavens, I'm astonished. 241 00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:40,405 "Sources in Whitehall report that this imaginative plan, 242 00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:43,726 "an initiative by the Employment Secretary, 243 00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:46,887 "has been blocked by the Prime Minister"?! 244 00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:49,250 How dare he! 245 00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:51,565 How dare he! I'm... I'm... 246 00:17:51,735 --> 00:17:54,203 - Speechless? - Speechless! 247 00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:58,850 I've backed him all along! I've fought for his sodding plan! 248 00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:02,610 I gave him his first Cabinet post, treated him like a son! 249 00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:04,845 This is the thanks I get! 250 00:18:05,015 --> 00:18:09,850 How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless Cabinet colleague. 251 00:18:10,015 --> 00:18:12,927 It's envy. Dudley is consumed with envy. 252 00:18:13,095 --> 00:18:15,484 It's one of the seven Dudley sins. 253 00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:26,371 Prime Minister, shall we start to draft your letter accepting his resignation? 254 00:18:26,535 --> 00:18:30,323 It's not that simple. He'll deny he leaked, so why am I sacking him? 255 00:18:30,495 --> 00:18:36,206 He'll be more dangerous on the back benches. Sacked, he doesn't have to pretend to be loyal. 256 00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:42,211 - So you mean you'll go ahead with his plan? - I can't. Not now. 257 00:18:42,375 --> 00:18:47,574 It'll look as though he's defeated me. I can't risk that. It's a good plan. 258 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:51,569 So... perha... Er... no, no, I... 259 00:18:51,735 --> 00:18:55,284 Prime Minister, you're not being indecisive, are you? 260 00:18:55,455 --> 00:18:58,447 No, no! 261 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:03,609 - No, I just can't make up my mind. - Well, perhaps I can help. 262 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:06,972 - How? - Technically, I shouldn't be showing you this. 263 00:19:07,135 --> 00:19:10,491 - Why not? I'm Prime Minister, aren't I? - Indeed you are! 264 00:19:11,455 --> 00:19:14,174 That's why I shouldn't show it to you. 265 00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:19,807 It's a Ministry of Defence draft internal paper. The Secretary of Defence hasn't seen it yet. 266 00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:25,174 - But it casts grave doubts on the plan. - Does it? 267 00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:29,123 Many of the valuable buildings he quotes can't be sold. 268 00:19:29,295 --> 00:19:34,289 Some are listed, some have planning controls. The cost of the move would be prohibitive. 269 00:19:34,455 --> 00:19:38,164 It'd create unemployment in the Home Counties and East Anglia 270 00:19:38,335 --> 00:19:44,729 and in Part 3 there are pages and pages of objections on the grounds of military strategy. 271 00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:49,491 - And all this is honest and accurate? - It comes from the Ministry of Defence. 272 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:55,487 Even so, it COULD be honest and accurate. 273 00:19:56,495 --> 00:20:00,693 You know, I think the public has a right to know this. 274 00:20:01,495 --> 00:20:03,690 It is a top-secret document. 275 00:20:06,695 --> 00:20:11,291 On the other hand, the service chiefs are notorious for their indiscretion. 276 00:20:11,455 --> 00:20:15,334 It could find its way into the hands of some irresponsible journalist. 277 00:20:15,495 --> 00:20:20,205 - Quite. Or several irresponsible... - Several, indeed, Prime Minister. 278 00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:23,970 - Of course, I could never be a party to that. - Certainly not. 279 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:28,731 So, shall we defer further discussion of the Employment Secretary's plan 280 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,886 to an unspecified future date? 281 00:20:31,495 --> 00:20:33,884 Yeah, let's drop it. 282 00:20:34,055 --> 00:20:37,730 Prime Minister. Meanwhile, I'll go and attend to the plumbing. 283 00:20:40,295 --> 00:20:45,415 - When's he going to leak it? - Did I ask for a leak, Bernard? 284 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:50,693 - Well, not in so many... No, you didn't. - No, I didn't. 285 00:20:50,855 --> 00:20:54,768 I occasionally have confidential press briefings, but I have never leaked. 286 00:20:54,935 --> 00:20:59,133 Another irregular verb - I give confidential press briefings, you leak, 287 00:20:59,295 --> 00:21:04,085 he's been charged under Section 2A of the Official Secrets Act. 288 00:21:09,095 --> 00:21:12,007 - (ALL) Good morning, Prime Minister. - Morning. 289 00:21:15,015 --> 00:21:18,325 - (BOTH) Good morning. - Have you seen the papers? 290 00:21:18,495 --> 00:21:22,693 - Indeed. - Dudley's replied to the press about that leak. 291 00:21:22,855 --> 00:21:25,574 He's demanded a public inquiry. 292 00:21:25,735 --> 00:21:30,570 - Shocking. - Inquiries never find the true source of a leak. 293 00:21:31,495 --> 00:21:36,091 - But we know the true source. You asked us... - Bernard. 294 00:21:37,975 --> 00:21:40,773 You're not suggesting I authorised this leak? 295 00:21:40,935 --> 00:21:45,486 Er, no, I... er... That is, yes. Um, I mean... Oh, I remember now. Sorry. 296 00:21:47,335 --> 00:21:51,328 - What do you remember, Bernard? - Whatever you want. 297 00:21:51,495 --> 00:21:54,293 I want the public to know there are no divisions. 298 00:21:54,455 --> 00:21:57,811 - But there are. - I don't want them multiplied. 299 00:21:57,975 --> 00:22:01,411 If you multiply divisions, you get back to where you started. 300 00:22:02,775 --> 00:22:06,927 If you divide four by two, you get two. If you multiply it, you get four. 301 00:22:07,095 --> 00:22:09,814 Unless you multiply different divisions... 302 00:22:09,975 --> 00:22:13,934 - Four by two... Bernard, send them in. - Yes, Prime Minister. 303 00:22:15,015 --> 00:22:19,611 I want to keep the Employment Secretary in the Cabinet, and the Defence Secretary, 304 00:22:19,775 --> 00:22:22,608 but I can't let this row go on any longer. 305 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:27,166 I can't allow the Employment Secretary to be seen to defeat me. I can't risk it. 306 00:22:27,335 --> 00:22:31,328 I suggest you ask the Committee to agree to these three points. 307 00:22:31,495 --> 00:22:34,089 First, they accept Cabinet's decision. 308 00:22:34,255 --> 00:22:37,964 Secondly, there's a cooling-off period with no further discussion. 309 00:22:38,135 --> 00:22:43,846 Further, that all speeches and press statements are cleared with the Cabinet Office. 310 00:22:44,015 --> 00:22:49,135 Splendid. That should do it, yes. Point one, a cooling-off period. 311 00:22:49,295 --> 00:22:52,605 Point two, no more decisions or discussions... 312 00:22:52,775 --> 00:22:55,209 No, what was the second one? 313 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:58,970 - I can't quite... - I'll write it down for you, Prime Minister. 314 00:23:00,015 --> 00:23:02,734 Ah, gentlemen, please be seated. 315 00:23:03,855 --> 00:23:07,006 You've all had a copy of the agenda. 316 00:23:07,175 --> 00:23:11,134 Item one, minutes of the last meeting. 317 00:23:11,295 --> 00:23:13,684 Excuse me, a point of order. 318 00:23:13,855 --> 00:23:18,133 My plan for defence establishment relocation is not on the agenda. 319 00:23:18,295 --> 00:23:20,490 - That is correct, Dudley. - Why not? 320 00:23:20,655 --> 00:23:26,446 This leaking is creating a damaging press row. I can't allow the Cabinet to seem divided. 321 00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:30,005 - It is divided. - That's why it mustn't look it. 322 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:35,488 It's a very complex issue and I've decided to defer further discussion until a later date. 323 00:23:35,655 --> 00:23:39,045 - You were in favour of it last time. - No, I wasn't. 324 00:23:39,215 --> 00:23:44,050 - You were! So was everyone, except Defence. - No, they weren't. 325 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:49,972 - They were! You promised further discussion! - Um... I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think not. 326 00:23:50,135 --> 00:23:53,127 - What? - There was no such promise. 327 00:23:53,295 --> 00:23:58,494 And the PM did not support the proposal. If he had, it would appear in the minutes. 328 00:23:58,655 --> 00:24:01,453 - It doesn't. - Doesn't it? 329 00:24:01,615 --> 00:24:06,484 Prime Minister, why was my request for a further discussion not minuted? 330 00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:09,453 - I... - Er, Prime Minister. 331 00:24:10,695 --> 00:24:16,691 It is characteristic of committee decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them 332 00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:21,053 and that every member's recollection differs from every other member's. 333 00:24:21,215 --> 00:24:25,811 Consequently, we accept the convention that official decisions are those 334 00:24:25,975 --> 00:24:28,364 recorded in the minutes by the officials. 335 00:24:28,535 --> 00:24:31,732 From which it emerges, with an elegant inevitability, 336 00:24:31,895 --> 00:24:36,286 that any officially reached decision will have been recorded by the officials. 337 00:24:36,455 --> 00:24:39,652 Any decision not recorded has not been officially reached, 338 00:24:39,815 --> 00:24:42,727 even if one or more members believe they can recollect it, 339 00:24:42,895 --> 00:24:46,205 so, in this case, if the decision had been officially reached, 340 00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:48,764 it would've been recorded by the officials, 341 00:24:48,935 --> 00:24:50,926 and it isn't, so it wasn't. 342 00:24:54,495 --> 00:24:56,486 Told you so. 343 00:24:56,655 --> 00:24:59,044 This is a fiddle! Prime Minister... 344 00:24:59,215 --> 00:25:01,365 - No, this must stop. - Yes, it must! 345 00:25:01,535 --> 00:25:05,733 I have drawn up a three-point plan to which we must all adhere. 346 00:25:05,895 --> 00:25:09,285 Point one... What was point one? 347 00:25:10,295 --> 00:25:15,244 Oh, thank you. Point one, everyone will accept collective decisions, Dudley. 348 00:25:15,415 --> 00:25:19,613 - I am perfectly willing to. How are they defined? - I define them. 349 00:25:21,375 --> 00:25:25,846 Point two, there will be a cooling-off period on defence relocations. 350 00:25:26,015 --> 00:25:31,487 - Point three... Can't read this. Cleaning what? - No, CLEARING all speeches... 351 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:36,046 All speeches and press statements must be cleared with the Cabinet Office. 352 00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:40,811 We can't cool off discussion on something that hasn't been discussed yet 353 00:25:40,975 --> 00:25:45,253 and I cannot accept that anything I say must be cleared by HIM. 354 00:25:45,415 --> 00:25:47,485 He won't clear what I want to say. 355 00:25:47,655 --> 00:25:51,489 - That is my decision and you must accept it. - I won't accept it! 356 00:25:52,615 --> 00:25:53,968 (PRIME MINISTER) Oh. 357 00:25:56,375 --> 00:26:00,084 Well, Dudley, I'm afraid you must consider your position. 358 00:26:05,055 --> 00:26:06,374 - Prime Minister. - Yes? 359 00:26:06,535 --> 00:26:10,767 I have news. Do you want the bad news first? 360 00:26:10,935 --> 00:26:15,247 - There's bad news and good news? - No, bad news and worse news. 361 00:26:15,415 --> 00:26:18,612 The Employment Secretary has resigned. His letter. 362 00:26:18,775 --> 00:26:22,484 - I didn't want to lose him. - Would you like the worse news now? 363 00:26:22,655 --> 00:26:27,410 He's accused you of being dictatorial and running a presidential-style government. 364 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,684 Oh. Well, I don't mind that. 365 00:26:31,775 --> 00:26:35,973 Rather good, isn't it? People like to know they've got a strong leader. 366 00:26:36,135 --> 00:26:39,172 - Dictatorial, eh? - It will be a new pleasure for them. 367 00:26:39,335 --> 00:26:41,724 - No, it won't. - No, it won't. 368 00:26:41,895 --> 00:26:46,286 Humphrey, I'm upset about this resignation. YOUR three-point plan provoked it. 369 00:26:46,455 --> 00:26:49,288 Yes, indeed, Prime Minister, but I understand 370 00:26:49,455 --> 00:26:53,653 the Employment Secretary was planning to resign soon in any case. 371 00:26:53,815 --> 00:26:56,010 Was he? Why? And when? 372 00:26:56,175 --> 00:27:01,932 On budget day, as it was expected to give him insufficient money to deal with unemployment. 373 00:27:02,095 --> 00:27:05,087 - Damaging. - It would've made him extremely popular. 374 00:27:05,255 --> 00:27:10,454 - Perhaps it's as well I made him go. - Prime Minister, you handled it brilliantly! 375 00:27:10,615 --> 00:27:15,211 You forced him to resign on an obscure administrative issue of your choosing, 376 00:27:15,375 --> 00:27:18,367 rather than on a policy issue of his choosing. 377 00:27:18,535 --> 00:27:23,290 Nobody will support him because nobody will understand why he's gone. A masterstroke! 378 00:27:23,455 --> 00:27:26,253 Yes... it was pretty clever, wasn't it? 379 00:27:26,415 --> 00:27:28,451 Oh, masterly! 380 00:27:28,615 --> 00:27:31,607 Here's a press statement you might release. 381 00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:35,973 - Shall I phone Bill? - No, Bernard, I shall phone Bill. 382 00:27:36,135 --> 00:27:38,126 Dictatorial, hm? 383 00:27:39,935 --> 00:27:43,723 I didn't know he was thinking of resigning over the budget. 384 00:27:43,895 --> 00:27:47,490 - Nor did I. - You mean it's not true? 385 00:27:47,655 --> 00:27:52,046 I didn't say it was true. I said I understood it to be true. 386 00:27:52,215 --> 00:27:56,003 - I may have misunderstood. - So you don't know it's true? 387 00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:59,565 - I don't know it's not. It might be. - Anything might be! 388 00:27:59,735 --> 00:28:03,205 Exactly. Well done, Bernard. 389 00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:05,366 Take this down, Bill. 390 00:28:05,535 --> 00:28:11,724 "I'm puzzled because his plan was being studied, but there was a danger of much greater cost 391 00:28:11,895 --> 00:28:16,491 "without necessarily achieving the employment objectives." 392 00:28:16,655 --> 00:28:19,647 Fine. Send it up to me when it's typed. 393 00:28:20,495 --> 00:28:23,805 Well, Humphrey, looks as if you've done me a good turn. 394 00:28:23,975 --> 00:28:27,570 - Yes, indeed, Prime Minister. - Pity, though. 395 00:28:27,735 --> 00:28:31,774 Yes. But he was plotting against you, you said so yourself. 396 00:28:31,935 --> 00:28:34,813 Yes. Hold on, I've got an idea! 397 00:28:34,975 --> 00:28:36,772 Prime Minister! 398 00:28:38,015 --> 00:28:42,327 Now that the Employment Secretary's gone, we could reinstate the plan! 399 00:28:43,375 --> 00:28:45,172 But... 400 00:28:45,335 --> 00:28:49,931 I could press on with it now and it won't look like weakness, but strength! 401 00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:53,087 - But the whole point was... - Was what? 402 00:28:53,255 --> 00:28:57,726 - It wasn't to stop the plan, surely? - No, no, no, no, no. 403 00:28:57,895 --> 00:29:01,365 It was to... um... um... er... er... 404 00:29:01,535 --> 00:29:04,925 ...establish your authority. - Exactly. And I've done that. 405 00:29:05,095 --> 00:29:08,292 So, if we recreate the plan, it'll show I wasn't against it 406 00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:12,448 and that Dudley's resignation was pointless, right? 407 00:29:12,615 --> 00:29:17,006 Put it top of the agenda for the next Cabinet... OK? 408 00:29:18,655 --> 00:29:21,044 Yes, Prime Minister.