0
00:00:00,105 --> 00:00:03,400
Shared by http://DJJ.HOME.SAPO.PT/
1
00:00:03,407 --> 00:00:06,001
# Once in every lifetime
2
00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:08,158
# Comes a love like this
3
00:00:08,327 --> 00:00:11,239
# Oh, I need you, you need me
4
00:00:11,407 --> 00:00:13,841
# Oh, my darling, can't you see
5
00:00:15,927 --> 00:00:18,964
# Darling, we're the Young Ones
6
00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,163
# The Young Ones
7
00:00:21,327 --> 00:00:23,443
# (RICK) Shouldn't be afraid
8
00:00:24,487 --> 00:00:27,524
# To live, love
9
00:00:27,687 --> 00:00:29,757
# There's a song to be sung
10
00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:32,487
# 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones
11
00:00:32,647 --> 00:00:35,366
# 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones
12
00:00:38,047 --> 00:00:43,326
# 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones
13
00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:45,523
# Very long... #
14
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:53,479
(RADIO DJ) That was a great new
version of ""The Young Ones"".
15
00:00:53,647 --> 00:00:55,638
That was brilliant!
16
00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:59,562
Shame about Cliff Richard.
17
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,445
What about him?
18
00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:02,926
What?
19
00:01:04,247 --> 00:01:05,965
What about Cliff Richard?
20
00:01:06,727 --> 00:01:09,287
You trying to be funny?
21
00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:12,960
If you are, I think it's in pretty poor taste!
22
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:15,595
I'm not a fridge, you know!
23
00:01:23,247 --> 00:01:25,238
Weird, eh?
24
00:01:25,407 --> 00:01:30,481
I better get back to the lentil casserole
before I get disorientated.
25
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:39,036
Guess it'll soon be over for you lentils.
26
00:01:40,727 --> 00:01:42,558
Atchoo!
27
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,926
Oh, wow!
28
00:01:49,087 --> 00:01:52,079
This is really amazingly hot!
29
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,439
I better get it to the table quickly.
30
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,084
No room at all, eh?
31
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:03,558
Heavy!
32
00:02:04,247 --> 00:02:07,205
I'll never get it back to the cooker in time.
33
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:10,200
I'm just gonna have to... Ow!
34
00:02:13,127 --> 00:02:15,083
Oh, no!
35
00:02:18,727 --> 00:02:20,718
Bad karma.
36
00:02:21,447 --> 00:02:22,800
Again!
37
00:02:25,327 --> 00:02:29,286
Guys, there's some dinner
on the floor, if you want it.
38
00:02:29,447 --> 00:02:33,963
If you don't, that's cool,
'cause I only spent all day cooking it.
39
00:02:34,127 --> 00:02:37,483
I got it together to soak the lentils last night.
40
00:02:37,647 --> 00:02:42,641
Maybe we should get a cat and give it
to the cat, 'cause none of you...
41
00:02:42,807 --> 00:02:44,126
Guys?
42
00:02:44,807 --> 00:02:48,322
Maybe it'd be cool if I just died, right?
43
00:02:55,127 --> 00:02:57,960
- Well?
- Well what, Rick?
44
00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:01,005
Have you decided to apologise
about Cliff Richard?
45
00:03:01,167 --> 00:03:03,727
I didn't say anything
about Cliff Richard. I wasn't...
46
00:03:03,887 --> 00:03:06,276
Look, I don't want to discuss it, OK?
47
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:11,760
I wouldn't discuss the colour
of orange juice with you, Neil!
48
00:03:11,927 --> 00:03:15,363
But I've written a poem which might help you.
49
00:03:16,287 --> 00:03:19,518
It's orange, Rick, and I don't want to depress you,
50
00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:23,839
but you're standing in a huge mound of lentils...
51
00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:28,683
''Oh, Cliff, sometimes it must be
difficult not to feel as if...
52
00:03:28,847 --> 00:03:31,361
''You really are a cliff.
53
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:34,280
''When fascists keep trying to push you over it.
54
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:37,166
''Are they the lemmings, or are you, Cliff?
55
00:03:37,327 --> 00:03:39,921
''Or ARE you, Cliff?''
56
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:43,480
Yeah...
57
00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:47,720
That was really pretty bad, Rick.
58
00:03:47,887 --> 00:03:51,197
Bad for society when the kids get into it!
59
00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:53,801
I'm gonna kill myself now.
60
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,322
Pretty angry stuff, right?
61
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:59,206
Let them try and ignore that, right?
62
00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,881
Those clever trousers in the army.
63
00:04:02,047 --> 00:04:05,164
And the police and the government, if they can!
64
00:04:05,327 --> 00:04:08,364
I see things much more clearly now.
65
00:04:10,087 --> 00:04:12,999
- Bye, Rick.
- Yes, goodbye.
66
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:15,806
I'll probably come back as a lentil.
67
00:04:16,767 --> 00:04:20,999
I might even get put in prison
and have water dripped on my head.
68
00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:24,247
I might even get a personal message from Cliff!
69
00:04:24,407 --> 00:04:27,126
Wow, this is the end, man.
70
00:04:27,287 --> 00:04:30,962
Doesn't anybody clean this oven except me?
71
00:04:32,447 --> 00:04:35,962
Oh...this is so dirty, man!
72
00:04:36,127 --> 00:04:40,279
I bet if you looked
in all the dirty ovens in the world,
73
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:45,441
even ones at the bottom of swamps,
you wouldn't find one this dirty.
74
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:49,964
Neil! Why don't you listen to me, Neil?
75
00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:52,402
Why don't you listen to ME?
76
00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:55,320
You find me boring or something? Look...
77
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:58,965
Look...that's a saucer.
78
00:04:59,127 --> 00:05:01,402
That's boring.
79
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,558
Look.
80
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:07,279
It's pretty different really, isn't it?
81
00:05:07,447 --> 00:05:10,245
It's not really the same thing at all, is it?
82
00:05:10,407 --> 00:05:11,726
Neil!
83
00:05:12,487 --> 00:05:15,684
I will not be associated with saucers.
84
00:05:18,727 --> 00:05:20,399
Hi, guys.
85
00:05:21,647 --> 00:05:24,480
6.15, enter Mike the cool person for his dinner.
86
00:05:24,647 --> 00:05:28,196
Strolls across the floor.
''Hi, Neil,'' he says, warming up.
87
00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:31,564
- Is that supper?
- No, that's supper over there.
88
00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:39,087
Why smash saucers? Your prints on 'em?
89
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:43,604
I know how you feel.
Saucers used to make me angry, too.
90
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:47,476
There's lots of heads buried
in the garden 'cause of saucers!
91
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,957
I suppose you think it's pretty weird, don't you?
92
00:05:51,127 --> 00:05:53,766
Well...you'd be right.
93
00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:57,806
'Cause that's the kind of guy I am. Weird!
94
00:05:57,967 --> 00:06:01,039
Which is why I go over people's heads.
95
00:06:01,207 --> 00:06:03,277
A bit like an aeroplane.
96
00:06:04,247 --> 00:06:07,159
You think I'm an aeroplane, don't you? I'm not!
97
00:06:07,327 --> 00:06:11,559
- I don't think you're an aeroplane.
- Sycophant!
98
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:17,398
I think we ought to get it together
maybe to eat something, huh?
99
00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:22,242
- Eaten any good books lately?
- Oh, don't!
100
00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:26,844
I just stuff down a few pages
of The Guardian before I rush out.
101
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:31,285
I nibbled a few lines of ''Hippolytus''
the other day at number 32.
102
00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:32,766
Lucky you!
103
00:06:32,927 --> 00:06:35,157
Euripides is my dream poet.
104
00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:39,684
''A woman is only a woman,
but a concordance is a meal.'' Ha-ha!
105
00:06:40,407 --> 00:06:41,726
Wonderful.
106
00:06:41,887 --> 00:06:44,276
This should raise a dry smile...
107
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:47,120
- Knock knock.
- Wonderful! Who's there?
108
00:06:47,287 --> 00:06:49,164
- Euripides.
- Euripides who?
109
00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:52,080
Euripides trousers, you menda these trousers!
110
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,717
Argh! A rat!
111
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:09,879
Oh, wow, man, that's really heavy, man.
112
00:07:10,047 --> 00:07:14,518
My grandfather made that guitar
out of matches on his deathbed.
113
00:07:15,487 --> 00:07:17,762
I hate rats, OK?
114
00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:26,086
It's what he would have wanted.
115
00:07:28,647 --> 00:07:33,084
Guys, I'm sorry the meal
got a bit uncool, like, floorwise,
116
00:07:33,247 --> 00:07:36,239
but it's all right 'cause I've got the dirtiest bit.
117
00:07:36,407 --> 00:07:38,557
Ha-ha-ha!
118
00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:41,560
OK, guys, don't do anything unusual.
119
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,287
Did a guy with a lisp phone?
120
00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,722
No one phoned you, Mike. Well...
121
00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:50,004
- ..we haven't got a telephone.
- Yeah, I know.
122
00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:53,284
- But did a guy with a lisp phone?
- No, he didn't.
123
00:07:53,447 --> 00:07:56,837
Did he say anything about the bananas?
124
00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:58,360
Er...no.
125
00:07:58,527 --> 00:08:01,360
- You said he didn't phone!
- He didn't!
126
00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:02,960
OK, that's good.
127
00:08:03,127 --> 00:08:05,243
But it could've been very bad!
128
00:08:05,407 --> 00:08:08,399
Anyway, forget you ever heard the name.
129
00:08:10,047 --> 00:08:14,279
- Er...what name?
- You're learning, that's good.
130
00:08:14,447 --> 00:08:18,838
- I've an uncle called Dusty.
- Are these lentils South African?
131
00:08:19,007 --> 00:08:20,486
Well, erm...
132
00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:23,798
You bastard! You complete and utter bastard!
133
00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:27,357
Why don't you become a policeman?
Become a pig?
134
00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:30,280
There's no difference, y'know? Ow, ow!
135
00:08:30,447 --> 00:08:32,802
There's no difference.
You think there is, but there isn't!
136
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:35,561
I suppose you hate gay people! Hippie!
137
00:08:35,727 --> 00:08:38,287
Just don't bring me down again.
138
00:08:38,447 --> 00:08:39,926
Where's my biro?
139
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,204
- Where is my biro?
- Here, use mine.
140
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:47,042
- This is my biro.
- I didn't think you wanted it.
141
00:08:47,207 --> 00:08:51,120
- But look, it's half empty.
- It was just lying there, Rick!
142
00:08:51,287 --> 00:08:54,438
''Neil...what are you doing, Neil?
143
00:08:54,607 --> 00:08:57,075
''To make a meal, Neil?''
144
00:08:57,247 --> 00:08:58,680
Surreal!
145
00:08:58,847 --> 00:09:01,919
''From totalitarian vegetables.
146
00:09:02,087 --> 00:09:04,123
''How much does it cost, Neil?''
147
00:09:04,287 --> 00:09:07,643
Actually, it's about £4.50 each.
148
00:09:08,487 --> 00:09:10,443
£4.50?!
149
00:09:10,607 --> 00:09:12,359
I'm not paying you to eat black men!
150
00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:15,360
I can be a pig and do that for free!
151
00:09:15,527 --> 00:09:19,679
When I eat a meal worth £4.50,
I'm not paying for it, got me?
152
00:09:19,847 --> 00:09:23,556
Yeah, OK, OK, like house meeting, OK?
153
00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:30,565
I know £4.50 is a lot of bread
for a lentil casserole, but I did a lot.
154
00:09:30,727 --> 00:09:34,845
It struck me that,
considering what I'm gonna do tonight,
155
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,680
I should do, like, thirteen portions.
156
00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:41,962
Thirteen?! What are you doing,
starting a football team?
157
00:09:42,127 --> 00:09:47,247
No, no. Killing myself.
This is my Last Supper, right?
158
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:50,763
I've finished my gallows.
It's far out, you should see it.
159
00:09:50,927 --> 00:09:53,805
When the trapdoor opens and I die,
160
00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:58,438
it lights joss sticks and plays
''Rock Around The Clock''. Amazing!
161
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:00,199
Oh, far out!
162
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,835
Really great. Woodstock!
163
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,765
Fine, great, yeah!
164
00:10:15,927 --> 00:10:18,805
Why don't you sit in the supper, man?
165
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:22,277
Vyvyan, you might've washed your hands!
166
00:10:33,527 --> 00:10:36,325
- I've been down the morgue.
- Fine, great.
167
00:10:36,487 --> 00:10:40,844
Let's talk about death.
Don't consider my feelings, will you?
168
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,998
Cutting bodies for my course.
169
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,398
None of you ever listens to a word I say!
170
00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:49,877
- That's because you're very boring.
- Oh!
171
00:10:50,047 --> 00:10:54,086
I suppose you think peace
and freedom and equality are boring, too?
172
00:10:54,647 --> 00:10:57,081
- Yes, they are!
- Fallen into my trap.
173
00:10:57,247 --> 00:11:01,240
Then why isn't Cliff Richard boring,
clever trousers? Tell me that!
174
00:11:09,087 --> 00:11:10,679
OK, lads, erm...
175
00:11:10,847 --> 00:11:16,285
This is it. I'm going.
This is the final moment, OK? Right.
176
00:11:16,447 --> 00:11:19,280
- I've got a leg.
- Hey, that's not unusual.
177
00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:21,039
No, look.
178
00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:24,800
I'm supposed to write an essay on it, but...
179
00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:28,642
..I think I'll stick it on the bonnet of my car.
180
00:11:29,847 --> 00:11:31,644
Bye, then.
181
00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:36,278
OK, hold back, no previous.
The scotch egg's another story.
182
00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:39,245
Nice angle on the wall, I like your style.
183
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,444
Had me fooled. That's only part of the puzzle.
184
00:11:42,607 --> 00:11:44,757
Most days you come through the door.
185
00:11:44,927 --> 00:11:46,838
Sometimes you even open it!
186
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,397
But today you suddenly
changed your routine. Why?
187
00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,364
You in trouble, Vyv? Eh?
188
00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:57,555
You the final sausage in the fridge?
Someone after you with the clingfilm?
189
00:11:58,607 --> 00:12:02,964
No. We got a letter from the council.
And nobody's fed my hamster!
190
00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:07,399
Erm...
191
00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:12,322
I'll see you on the other side, OK?
This is it, I'm going, OK?
192
00:12:12,487 --> 00:12:15,923
- Yeah, see you, Neil.
- Yeah, bye, Neil!
193
00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:19,120
And you can forget about the bread.
194
00:12:19,287 --> 00:12:22,484
- It's just like going to sleep.
- But I'm an insomniac.
195
00:12:22,647 --> 00:12:24,763
So what are you worried about?
196
00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:27,157
Oh, yeah. Thanks, Mike. Bye.
197
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:29,761
Nobody's fed Special Patrol Group, have they?
198
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:34,557
Sure the letter wasn't
a packing case or a tea chest?
199
00:12:34,727 --> 00:12:36,046
No. A letter.
200
00:12:36,207 --> 00:12:40,166
I think Special Patrol Group
is a stupid name for a hamster.
201
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,683
OK, I'll change it, then. Hello, Cliff Richard!
202
00:12:44,127 --> 00:12:45,446
Bastard!
203
00:12:45,887 --> 00:12:47,878
Aargh! Aargh!
204
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,038
Thanks a lot, Vyvyan!
205
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:59,085
You know I'm a vegetarian!
206
00:12:59,247 --> 00:13:01,397
You should feed that hamster more often.
207
00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:06,766
- I don't want to spoil him, OK?
- He looks like reduced beans.
208
00:13:08,527 --> 00:13:11,360
He looks well on it, though, doesn't he?
209
00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:15,563
I could murder a curry!
210
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:17,445
PHWRRRT!
211
00:13:17,607 --> 00:13:21,282
- Poor old Special Patrol Group.
- What's ''poor'' about him?
212
00:13:21,447 --> 00:13:23,836
It'll take ten weeks to starve another one.
213
00:13:24,007 --> 00:13:26,362
# One, two, three o"clock,
four o"clock rock
214
00:13:26,527 --> 00:13:29,439
# Five, six, seven o"clock,
eight o"clock rock... #
215
00:13:29,607 --> 00:13:32,997
Well, that's put the rent up by a third!
216
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:35,478
I really screwed that up.
217
00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:38,605
I'd look pretty stupid if anyone was watching.
218
00:13:41,207 --> 00:13:43,357
Ooh, look at that?
219
00:13:43,527 --> 00:13:47,406
- Should've had a shorter rope.
- Hm, a bit shorter.
220
00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:51,321
What that lad needs is a good,
hard... (DING DING)
221
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:16,320
I never knew there was so much in it!
222
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,797
Vyvyan, I don't wanna get specific,
223
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:23,925
but if you knock that wall down
the house'll collapse.
224
00:14:24,087 --> 00:14:26,885
And there's my duvet and passport collection.
225
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:32,646
- We've a letter from the council.
- What letter? Clarity, elucidate!
226
00:14:34,127 --> 00:14:35,799
Hello, everybody!
227
00:14:35,967 --> 00:14:39,846
Hello, my little Thunderbird puppet!
Thunderbirds are go!
228
00:14:40,007 --> 00:14:44,637
# Come on, let's twist again,
like we did last summer, yeah, yeah!
229
00:14:44,807 --> 00:14:46,843
# Let's twist again,
like we didn't do in Moscow #
230
00:14:47,007 --> 00:14:49,567
'Cause I've never been there. I am English person.
231
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:52,685
Hi, I am Jerzei - crazy, wacky landlord.
232
00:14:52,847 --> 00:14:55,680
I like very much your punk rock stars.
233
00:14:55,847 --> 00:14:58,441
Your Lulu, your Dave Clark Five!
234
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:02,964
They are F-A-B,
that's English for stupid. Fantastic!
235
00:15:03,127 --> 00:15:07,325
Mikey, look, I have some Coca-Cola,
we have party, yes?
236
00:15:07,487 --> 00:15:10,365
OK, let's dance! Let's do the fog!
237
00:15:10,527 --> 00:15:13,200
I am liking your Harold Macmillan.
238
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,597
Thanks to him, I never have it!
239
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:18,884
Mr Balowski! We have residents' rights!
240
00:15:19,047 --> 00:15:21,117
You're supposed to knock.
241
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,801
Don't you think it's a nice house?
242
00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:27,676
Is good house, is clean house.
Michael Caine and Twiggy, yes?
243
00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:30,441
So maybe sometime you pay me rent,
244
00:15:30,607 --> 00:15:33,644
then we go milk bar for soda pop?
245
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,365
Listen, Jerzei...
246
00:15:35,527 --> 00:15:37,438
Jeremy, actually!
247
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:40,758
Jeremy, if you're worried
about the rent, I've got it sussed.
248
00:15:40,927 --> 00:15:44,522
Gentlemen, house meeting in the hall,
two seconds, be there!
249
00:15:44,687 --> 00:15:47,565
I think you are nice, democratic boy, yes?
250
00:15:47,727 --> 00:15:50,958
I hope you marry Scottish person like Lulu, yes?
251
00:15:51,127 --> 00:15:53,118
(WHISPERING)
252
00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:56,957
I'm not really foreign, y'know.
253
00:15:57,127 --> 00:16:00,961
(LIVERPOOL ACCENT)
I just do it to appear more sophisticated.
254
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:05,837
Nobody'd buy Evian water
if it was called Blackburn water, eh?
255
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:09,477
Nobody'd wear Kicker boots
if they were made in Scunthorpe.
256
00:16:09,647 --> 00:16:11,399
ABBA? Swedish?
257
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:14,877
I knew them when they were
a Lancashire clog-dancing trio!
258
00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:17,925
Arthur, Betty, Boris and Angela!
259
00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:19,759
Solzhenitsyn? Solzhenitsyn?
260
00:16:19,927 --> 00:16:22,839
A former pipe-fitter welder from Harrogate!
261
00:16:24,687 --> 00:16:26,564
Back to the acting!
262
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:29,203
- OK, Jerzei.
- Yes?
263
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:33,883
About the rent. Oh, I nearly forgot!
Two men wanted to see you.
264
00:16:34,047 --> 00:16:36,277
Two men? Morecambe and Vise?
265
00:16:36,447 --> 00:16:39,359
Funny comedians with the wigs
and buckets of water.
266
00:16:39,527 --> 00:16:43,679
No, they were with
the Moscow Dynamos ice hockey squad.
267
00:16:43,847 --> 00:16:46,156
Said I'd never heard of you.
268
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:51,082
OK, I see, is good joke?
Is earthy English humour, yes?
269
00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:53,681
Like seaside postcard from Leicester?
270
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,919
Yes, so we'll pay the rent another time, cool?
271
00:16:57,087 --> 00:16:59,760
Yes, that's absolutely ice-box!
272
00:17:00,407 --> 00:17:03,399
See you later, Ford Anglia!
273
00:17:11,127 --> 00:17:15,598
I hate him! D'you think he really is British?
274
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,883
He knows about the Mersey sound!
275
00:17:18,047 --> 00:17:20,436
Shut up! I'm stirring my coffee!
276
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:24,395
Listen...we got a letter from the council.
277
00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:28,196
They're gonna demolish the house tomorrow.
278
00:17:38,327 --> 00:17:41,285
But I was gonna make it an entertainment
complex. This room's a roller disco.
279
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:47,839
I'm depressed. It's nine below zero.
280
00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:50,884
He's bloomin' right, y'know.
281
00:17:51,047 --> 00:17:55,677
(''ELEVEN PLUS ELEVEN''
BY NINE BELOW ZERO )
282
00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:57,686
How can they, the council,
destroy the House of Mike?
283
00:19:57,847 --> 00:20:02,682
There's no need to worry.
I've a plan with which to thwart them!
284
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,238
Oh, God! No sugar!
285
00:20:11,447 --> 00:20:13,563
Oh, wow. A wet bum.
286
00:20:13,727 --> 00:20:16,605
Just what I need, far out!
287
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:22,883
A plan! Hey, now we're
in the same supermarket.
288
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:26,084
You agree the council must be thwarted, right?
289
00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:28,317
Does this face empty knickers?
290
00:20:28,487 --> 00:20:30,045
That, I don't know.
291
00:20:30,207 --> 00:20:32,767
But when the council come tomorrow,
292
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:36,920
they'll find the house
already demolished from within.
293
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:42,961
Step back, recoil. I want to study
the angles. I'm not talking fishing!
294
00:20:43,127 --> 00:20:46,756
- Give me the letter.
- The letter, with pleasure.
295
00:20:57,767 --> 00:20:59,803
Vyvyan, this isn't our house!
296
00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:03,837
- Well, whose is it, then?
- Somebody else's!
297
00:21:04,727 --> 00:21:10,040
When they get back,
tell them I'm incredibly sorry, right?
298
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,998
Well, old man?
299
00:21:18,127 --> 00:21:21,756
Woods...and the darkness.
300
00:21:21,927 --> 00:21:24,839
And the howling wind.
301
00:21:25,007 --> 00:21:27,885
Will the snows never cease?
302
00:21:28,047 --> 00:21:31,323
They seem to reach back forever.
303
00:21:32,047 --> 00:21:35,562
They began the night Uncle Volga died.
304
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,082
On the night we heard the shot.
305
00:21:38,247 --> 00:21:41,205
If only we were deaf.
306
00:21:42,287 --> 00:21:46,519
Remember when this very room
was filled with light
307
00:21:46,687 --> 00:21:49,076
and laughter and young people?
308
00:21:49,967 --> 00:21:52,242
How we laughed!
309
00:21:53,127 --> 00:21:56,915
''Ahh-ahh!'' we would go.
310
00:21:57,887 --> 00:21:59,878
''Eee-eee!''
311
00:22:01,607 --> 00:22:04,440
Was the food richer then?
312
00:22:04,607 --> 00:22:07,883
Or have we just forgotten?
313
00:22:08,047 --> 00:22:12,120
It was...sort of crunchy.
314
00:22:14,407 --> 00:22:18,195
The woods and the darkness...
315
00:22:18,367 --> 00:22:21,404
And the howling wind.
316
00:22:21,567 --> 00:22:24,639
Will the snows never cease?
317
00:22:24,807 --> 00:22:28,004
They seem to reach back forever.
318
00:22:29,007 --> 00:22:32,795
Could you be quiet?
I'm trying to watch my favourite programme.
319
00:22:32,967 --> 00:22:35,527
- Will you stop it, Vyvyan?
- Listen...
320
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:39,999
If we don't smash the house up,
the council will demolish it tomorrow.
321
00:22:40,167 --> 00:22:43,284
He's right, they're gonna knock
the house down tomorrow.
322
00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:46,962
That's all very well,
but, after years of stagnation,
323
00:22:47,127 --> 00:22:51,803
TV has woken up to the need
for locally-based minority programmes,
324
00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:55,403
made by amateurs
and of interest to only two people!
325
00:22:55,567 --> 00:23:00,436
It's important, right?
It's now and I want to watch!
326
00:23:16,087 --> 00:23:22,083
- Wet feet! Nice one, Vyvyan.
- I thought you were dead.
327
00:23:22,247 --> 00:23:26,081
That's no reason to hassle me on the toilet!
328
00:23:29,127 --> 00:23:31,925
The council are gonna knock the house down.
329
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:37,000
Sh! Sh! Sssssh!
330
00:23:40,447 --> 00:23:42,324
Let"s shake some action here on 2
331
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:47,515
with a new programme
for young adults: ""Nozin"Around""".
332
00:23:47,687 --> 00:23:50,360
# Nozin"Aroun", Nozin"Around"
333
00:23:50,527 --> 00:23:53,166
# Nozin"Aroun", Nozin"Around"
334
00:23:53,327 --> 00:23:56,000
# Nozin"Aroun", Nozin"Around"
335
00:23:56,167 --> 00:23:58,761
# Nozin"Aroun", Nozin"Around" #
336
00:23:58,927 --> 00:24:00,724
Hi, my name's Baz.
337
00:24:00,887 --> 00:24:05,517
Me and my mates thought
that TV just wasn't NOW, right?
338
00:24:05,687 --> 00:24:11,444
I expect, like us, you're not into
what your old man's into, right?
339
00:24:11,607 --> 00:24:14,758
So we just thought
we'd have a programme for us.
340
00:24:14,927 --> 00:24:17,487
And this is it, Nozin' Aroun', yeah!
341
00:24:17,647 --> 00:24:20,081
N-O-Z, Z for Zap!
342
00:24:20,247 --> 00:24:24,559
It's a programme for young adults
made by young adults,
343
00:24:24,727 --> 00:24:29,118
concentrating on all the subjects
that young adults are interested in.
344
00:24:29,287 --> 00:24:31,562
Like unemployment...Maggie!
345
00:24:31,727 --> 00:24:34,639
Hey, hey! Yeah! Really great!
346
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:39,358
I'll be looking at what it's like
to be a young unemployed adult!
347
00:24:39,527 --> 00:24:45,841
More young adults are unemployed
'cause they can't find work.
348
00:24:46,007 --> 00:24:47,998
Basically the problem is this.
349
00:24:48,167 --> 00:24:52,206
If you haven't got a job, you're out of work,
which means only one thing:
350
00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:54,005
unemployment!
351
00:24:54,167 --> 00:24:56,806
Yeah, got you back! All right!
352
00:24:56,967 --> 00:24:59,765
Thanks a lot, Maggie, worth listening to.
353
00:24:59,927 --> 00:25:04,443
After all, it's our world, too, kids! Right!
354
00:25:05,327 --> 00:25:07,921
- Right...
- Really great. Hi!
355
00:25:08,087 --> 00:25:12,763
I'm standing up here 'cause that's
what this programme's about: shock!
356
00:25:12,927 --> 00:25:14,758
Yeah. Right. OK.
357
00:25:14,927 --> 00:25:16,997
OK, thanks, Maggie.
358
00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:21,718
Right, it's time for a natter
with our very special guest,
359
00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:27,007
Roland Percival, who's Careers Officer
at East London Poly.
360
00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:30,842
- Getting down?
- Right down, thank you.
361
00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:33,043
- Rol...
- Baz?
362
00:25:33,207 --> 00:25:37,644
A lot of my mates say to me,
''Baz, what's the point?''
363
00:25:37,807 --> 00:25:39,798
What would you say to them?
364
00:25:40,487 --> 00:25:45,402
But surely, your mates must realise
there definitely IS a point!
365
00:25:45,567 --> 00:25:50,482
So, a real message of hope
and good cheer from Roland, an ace guy!
366
00:25:50,647 --> 00:25:53,605
Drop in and see him for a chat at the Poly.
367
00:25:53,767 --> 00:25:57,726
That doesn't mean
I want you to seduce my parrot!
368
00:25:57,887 --> 00:25:59,479
Good 'un, Rol!
369
00:25:59,647 --> 00:26:02,366
If you're on the dole, go and see Rol!
370
00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:05,963
I should stress that you must have a degree.
371
00:26:06,127 --> 00:26:09,199
Yeah, right. Thanks a lot there, Rol.
372
00:26:09,367 --> 00:26:14,316
Now it's the part of the programme
where you, yeah, you the viewers,
373
00:26:14,487 --> 00:26:18,526
get a chance to put your ideas
and opinions - new concept, right?
374
00:26:18,687 --> 00:26:20,643
Our world, too!
375
00:26:20,807 --> 00:26:23,275
Here we go with Street Level.
376
00:26:25,127 --> 00:26:29,279
I'm 16, old enough to get married,
but I can't drink in pubs.
377
00:26:29,447 --> 00:26:33,918
When will the government realise
that young adults are responsible people?
378
00:26:34,447 --> 00:26:39,157
I'm 16, right? I can join the Army,
the Air Force and the Navy.
379
00:26:39,327 --> 00:26:42,205
But I can't drink in pubs.
380
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:48,078
When will the government realise
we have a valid contribution to society?
381
00:26:54,087 --> 00:26:58,558
A lot of people say
young adults are violent, right?
382
00:26:58,727 --> 00:27:04,962
How would you feel if you were
old enough to have intercourse,
383
00:27:05,127 --> 00:27:09,598
yet you could not drink in pubs, huh?
384
00:27:10,287 --> 00:27:12,357
There you go. That's the problem.
385
00:27:12,527 --> 00:27:17,043
What do you do of an evening
if you're young and can't go to pubs?
386
00:27:17,207 --> 00:27:21,997
What I think is if the kids are united,
we'll never be divided!
387
00:27:25,247 --> 00:27:27,203
Did you see that?
388
00:27:27,367 --> 00:27:31,679
The voice of youth!
They're still wearing flared trousers!
389
00:27:31,847 --> 00:27:34,042
Try a bit of poetry, hippies!
390
00:27:34,207 --> 00:27:36,767
The council are gonna knock us down.
391
00:27:36,927 --> 00:27:40,966
Yes, yes, yes! So you keep saying,
but they'll never do it.
392
00:27:41,127 --> 00:27:44,483
This is a student residence. A seat of learning.
393
00:27:44,647 --> 00:27:47,719
The council have okayed it, babes, OK?
394
00:27:47,887 --> 00:27:50,765
Oh, right on! Right on!
395
00:27:50,927 --> 00:27:52,246
Typical!
396
00:27:52,407 --> 00:27:55,046
Human beings are the last consideration.
397
00:27:55,207 --> 00:28:00,486
Take any street, an English street,
filled with life, hope and poetry...
398
00:28:00,647 --> 00:28:03,798
Not the street, just us! We're a health hazard.
399
00:28:03,967 --> 00:28:08,722
- But I live in the launderette!
- Yeah, it's OK, because...
400
00:28:08,887 --> 00:28:13,563
Because the letter is signed
''T Smith, Miss'', see? See?
401
00:28:13,727 --> 00:28:15,763
I even believe it's perfumed.
402
00:28:15,927 --> 00:28:19,317
- Dust the duvet, I'll handle this.
- I'll handle this!
403
00:28:20,927 --> 00:28:22,246
I'll handle this!
404
00:28:22,767 --> 00:28:24,837
I can't handle this.
405
00:28:25,927 --> 00:28:31,763
When they come, I'll hide in the wall
and pretend to be thermal insulation.
406
00:28:31,927 --> 00:28:36,318
When they knock the wall down... Boom Shankar!
407
00:29:16,527 --> 00:29:20,202
''House! House! House!
408
00:29:20,367 --> 00:29:25,395
''Oh, you are made of stone,
But you're not a lone...ly house.
409
00:29:26,007 --> 00:29:28,680
''I am here.''
410
00:29:28,847 --> 00:29:33,967
# I've got myself a walking, talking,
living, walking, living doll... #
411
00:29:34,127 --> 00:29:35,879
Excuse me!
412
00:29:36,047 --> 00:29:38,925
This isn't the house to be demolished!
413
00:29:39,087 --> 00:29:41,123
It's the other side of town.
414
00:29:41,287 --> 00:29:42,720
Excuse me!
415
00:29:45,727 --> 00:29:49,163
Another half hour. Just a bit more time, OK?
416
00:29:50,527 --> 00:29:53,963
Some of these bricks explode! That's good, innit?
417
00:29:54,647 --> 00:29:56,524
Excuse me.
418
00:29:57,367 --> 00:30:00,518
Why don't you just go and live in Iran? Or Russia?
419
00:30:01,247 --> 00:30:05,638
Listen, I've stewed up some lentils
and seaweed as a...
420
00:30:05,807 --> 00:30:08,162
..last positive action.
421
00:30:08,327 --> 00:30:11,205
Rick, what are you doing with my crucifix?
422
00:30:11,927 --> 00:30:13,406
I'm protesting.
423
00:30:13,567 --> 00:30:16,639
I think I should lay this one on you, man.
424
00:30:16,807 --> 00:30:19,924
That's a really negative way to kill yourself.
425
00:30:20,087 --> 00:30:25,036
I've tried hundreds of times.
You can't hammer in the last nail!
426
00:30:25,527 --> 00:30:27,006
Excuse me.
427
00:30:27,167 --> 00:30:29,556
Are you the lease owner of the premises?
428
00:30:29,727 --> 00:30:32,878
Er...I'm being hassled in the street by a chick!
429
00:30:33,047 --> 00:30:34,924
Don't make me paranoid, man!
430
00:30:35,087 --> 00:30:37,521
Stop making him paranoid, you slag!
431
00:30:40,887 --> 00:30:42,366
Hi, baby.
432
00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:50,287
Maybe just once I'd like to keep
the lentils off the floor.
433
00:30:51,127 --> 00:30:54,437
- So who turns on your bulb at night?
- I'm sorry...?
434
00:30:54,607 --> 00:30:57,679
If the world's an egg, I'm the lion stamped on it.
435
00:30:57,847 --> 00:31:00,600
Thank you. I need your rent book.
436
00:31:00,767 --> 00:31:04,965
You know the French for ''duvet''?
I'm talking 100% cotton.
437
00:31:05,127 --> 00:31:07,561
I'd like your duckdown stuck to the soap.
438
00:31:07,727 --> 00:31:10,446
- That's enough...
- Open mouth surgery?
439
00:31:10,607 --> 00:31:14,486
Feel my scalpel. Done it
on a beanbag? I do it INSIDE 'em!
440
00:31:14,647 --> 00:31:17,207
All right. Aaaaargh!
441
00:31:17,367 --> 00:31:19,164
(ALARMS RING)
442
00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:24,722
Don't worry, lads. These bastards
won't get away with this.
443
00:31:24,887 --> 00:31:26,878
(WORKMEN JEER)
444
00:31:40,727 --> 00:31:44,276
Come on, man. You'd be doing me a favour.
445
00:31:46,287 --> 00:31:48,482
Oh, right on!
446
00:31:55,287 --> 00:31:59,041
Wow, I really hope we don't have a crash.
447
00:31:59,207 --> 00:32:00,799
Me, too.
448
00:32:00,967 --> 00:32:03,879
But it's safer than crossing the road.
449
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:08,404
- But we have to do that, too.
- Best not to think about it.
450
00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:11,365
(EXPLOSIONS IN THE DISTANCE)
451
00:32:12,087 --> 00:32:15,682
(RICK) Oh, no, that plane is going crash on us.
452
00:32:17,327 --> 00:32:20,319
(HUGE CRASH AND EXPLOSION)