1 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,957 Ciao, Rome! 2 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:08,584 Ciao, world! 3 00:07:13,292 --> 00:07:14,292 Ciao! 4 00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:26,333 What have we forgotten? 5 00:07:29,459 --> 00:07:32,375 What have we forgotten? 6 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:38,167 We have forgotten you! 7 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,584 Let me be very clear: 8 00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:54,041 I'm here for one, very simple reason. 9 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,667 To not forget anyone. 10 00:07:59,958 --> 00:08:03,167 God does not leave anyone behind. 11 00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:07,957 That is what He told me when I decided to serve Him. 12 00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:11,041 And it is what I say to you now. 13 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,584 I serve God. 14 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,750 I serve you! 15 00:08:23,292 --> 00:08:27,083 We've forgotten the women and children, 16 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:33,208 who will change this world with their love and their kindness. 17 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:38,333 And with their marvelous, divine disposition to play. 18 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:44,876 Play is the only authentic means we have 19 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:48,375 to make us feel in harmony with life. 20 00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:55,375 And to be in harmony with God we have to be in harmony with life. 21 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,792 We don't have a choice: 22 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:03,917 we must be in harmony with God. 23 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,792 And what else have we forgotten? 24 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:24,167 We have forgotten to masturbate, 25 00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:29,292 to use contraceptives, 26 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,083 to get abortions, 27 00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:37,957 to celebrate gay marriages, 28 00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:40,375 to allow priests to love each other, 29 00:09:40,417 --> 00:09:43,000 and even to get married. 30 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:48,876 We've forgotten that we can decide to die if you detest living, 31 00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:51,958 we've forgotten to have sexual relations 32 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:57,083 for purposes other than procreation without feeling guilty! 33 00:09:59,292 --> 00:10:00,250 Help. 34 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:05,041 To divorce, to let nuns say mass, 35 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:08,876 to make babies in all the ways science has discovered 36 00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:11,792 and will continue to discover. 37 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:16,584 In short, my dear, dear children, 38 00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,834 not only have we forgotten to play, 39 00:10:20,958 --> 00:10:23,333 we have forgotten to be happy. 40 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:32,750 And there is only one road that leads to happiness. 41 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:39,667 And that road is called freedom. 42 00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:47,292 Sancti Apostoli Petrus et Paulus, 43 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:50,167 de quorum potestate et auctoritate confidimus... 44 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:52,375 What are you saying, Lenny? 45 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:55,000 What's all this nonsense? 46 00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:57,667 You're not the Pope, Lenny! 47 00:10:58,417 --> 00:11:00,292 I am the Pope. 48 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:05,667 I'm the Pope, and you, Lenny, are no longer a member of the Church. 49 00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:09,876 You are done with God, Lenny. 50 00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:19,917 What you mean done? 51 00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:23,417 I just barely got started with God. 52 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,834 Who are you, Lenny? 53 00:11:36,876 --> 00:11:39,167 I am a contradiction. 54 00:11:39,958 --> 00:11:43,709 Like God. One in three and three in one. 55 00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:46,958 Like Mary, virgin and mother. 56 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,542 Like man, good and evil. 57 00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:03,417 I am the Pope. 58 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:09,041 I am the Pope. 59 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,958 Not knowing your tastes, Your Holiness, 60 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,250 we took the liberty of preparing a little of everything. 61 00:12:35,292 --> 00:12:39,041 Didn't anyone tell you I don't eat much? Hardly anything, in fact! 62 00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:42,792 All I have in the morning is a Cherry Coke Zero. 63 00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:45,417 We will get some right away. 64 00:12:45,459 --> 00:12:46,542 What's your name? 65 00:12:46,584 --> 00:12:47,917 Domen, Your Holiness. 66 00:12:47,957 --> 00:12:50,375 I am Your Holiness's maggiordomo. 67 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,000 - Do you know what Domen means? - "One who belongs to God". 68 00:12:53,041 --> 00:12:58,667 Precisely. So, by transitive property, you belong to me. 69 00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:03,625 How did you sleep, Your Holiness? 70 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,958 I had an amusing dream 71 00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:09,957 Cardinal Ozolins and Cardinal Aguirre slapping each other, 72 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:12,542 and I said the most outrageous things to the crowd 73 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,000 in Saint Peter's Square. 74 00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:20,957 Well then, I'll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero. 75 00:13:34,459 --> 00:13:38,333 In the meantime would Your Holiness care for a regular Diet Coke? 76 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,375 Let's not utter heresies, Domen. 77 00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:44,792 It's death to settle for things in life. 78 00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:48,792 Holy Father, while you wait, may I present Sister Bice, 79 00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:52,208 from Nepi, in delightful province of Lazio. 80 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:54,125 She will be your personal cook. 81 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:58,333 Sister Bice also served three pontiffs who came before you. 82 00:13:58,375 --> 00:14:02,000 When she was young, she was a missionary in India 83 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,834 and fortunately for us, she speaks a good English. 84 00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:06,667 Well, my sweet Holy Father, 85 00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:10,125 now what is it you would like to have for your lunch? 86 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:13,125 You just tell your Bice what you want, 87 00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,957 and I'll prepare it for you. 88 00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:19,041 Matriciana, pasta e fagioli, carbonara, lasagne.. 89 00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:21,208 Am I mistaken, did she say "my sweet"? 90 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:24,333 Your Holiness, Sister Bice is rather... quaint. 91 00:14:24,375 --> 00:14:27,792 No, Domen, she is not quaint. 92 00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:29,750 She's friendly. 93 00:14:29,792 --> 00:14:31,333 Mother... 94 00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:35,500 Let me explain something to you, that you, in your long life, 95 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,459 have not yet had the occasion to understand: 96 00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:43,292 friendly relationships are dangerous. 97 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:45,333 They lend themselves to ambiguities, 98 00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:48,041 misunderstandings, and conflicts, 99 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:49,958 and they always end badly. 100 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,709 Formal relationships, on the other hand, 101 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,167 are as clear as spring water. 102 00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:58,208 Their rules are carved in stone. 103 00:14:58,292 --> 00:14:59,667 There's no risk of being misunderstood 104 00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:01,834 and they last forever. 105 00:15:01,876 --> 00:15:07,542 Now, you need to know I do not appreciate friendly relationships. 106 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:12,125 But I'm a great admirer of formal ones. 107 00:15:12,709 --> 00:15:15,584 Where there are formal relationships there are rites 108 00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:20,292 and where there are rites the earth order reigns. 109 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:29,957 Your Holiness, His Eminence the Cardinal Secretary of State 110 00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:32,000 and the Prefects of the Various Congregations 111 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:35,417 can't wait to make your acquaintance and to welcome you. 112 00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,167 Well, they're gonna have to. 113 00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:40,876 Because first I have to drink my Cherry Coke Zero. 114 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,208 May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you 115 00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:48,500 to know your sins and trust His mercy. 116 00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:50,000 Your sins, Voiello? 117 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,958 Tommasino, don't waste my time. 118 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,292 My sins have to do with high finance and diplomacy. 119 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,083 Even if I were to confess them, you wouldn't understand a thing. 120 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:01,625 So confess those I can understand. 121 00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,709 I've had impure thoughts. 122 00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:05,417 About who? 123 00:16:05,459 --> 00:16:08,709 - About the Venus of Willendorf. - Who's she? 124 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:12,500 The Paleolithic statue the Pope keeps in his library. 125 00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:14,750 It's 25,000 years-old. 126 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:20,459 Impure and gerontophilic thoughts about a statue... 127 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:24,958 What sort of penance can I assign for that? 128 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,584 You're making things difficult for me, Voiello! 129 00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:29,375 You think about it and let me know. 130 00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:31,500 I'm in a hurry. 131 00:16:43,957 --> 00:16:47,459 Look, guys, the Holy Spirit is blowing away. 132 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,167 Speaking of the Holy Spirit, what do you think? 133 00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:51,958 Did He illumine the cardinals? 134 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,375 The naiveté of you Africans is really touching. 135 00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:58,459 Do you really believe that the Holy Spirit elects the Pope? 136 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:03,333 We Africans, no, but we Catholics, yes, that is what we believe. 137 00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:04,584 Don't you, Ozolins? 138 00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:09,584 Well the Holy Spirit is not stupid but He is ironic and cunning. 139 00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:12,125 - I don't understand. - What he's trying to tell you 140 00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,834 is that here in Vatican 141 00:17:14,876 --> 00:17:18,957 the Holy Spirit is just another name for Voiello. 142 00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:23,083 Belardo is forty-seven years old. 143 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:24,958 That's young. 144 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,584 Which means we won't live to see another pope. How sad! 145 00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:32,667 Caltanissetta, it's already a miracle 146 00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:36,167 that you've lived long enough to see this one. 147 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:42,459 I'm not so sure that Voiello has shown good leadership this time. 148 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:47,625 I've never really trusted Voiello myself. He's the devil incarnate. 149 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:52,542 Spencer would have been the right choice. 150 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,958 Far too independent, 151 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,709 and that wouldn't have been a good news for us cardinals. 152 00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,750 True. 153 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,917 But all we have in exchange is a telegenic puppet. 154 00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:13,167 And that means that he can be manipulated. 155 00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:16,958 This is a masterpiece of Voiello's diplomatic cunning, 156 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,667 the way he shepherded the cardinals' votes to Belardo. 157 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,958 Now Belardo holds office, but Voiello is pulling the strings. 158 00:18:26,584 --> 00:18:29,750 And he'll run things the way we tell him, 159 00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:35,000 because once again we saved his life. 160 00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:37,709 I may be African, and I may be naive, 161 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,333 but if you ask me you're simplifying the future 162 00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,957 to an unhealthy degree. 163 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:47,625 I'm in agreement with our African colleague. 164 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,584 What do you mean by that? 165 00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:55,167 That you've forgotten to ask one fundamental question. 166 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,834 What's Spencer going to do now 167 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:08,459 that his beloved, detested protégé has become pope? 168 00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:46,459 "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" 169 00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:51,292 said Jesus before he was about to die. 170 00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:55,500 Which is what I say to you now, before I begin to live. 171 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:59,167 God's infinite silence... 172 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:04,333 God's infinite silence... 173 00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:07,958 God's infinite silence. 174 00:20:39,958 --> 00:20:43,417 Your Holiness... your sins. 175 00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:48,125 I don't have any sins to confess. 176 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,125 Are you serious? 177 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:55,250 My only sin, and it's an enormous one, 178 00:20:55,292 --> 00:20:58,958 is that my conscience does not accuse me of anything. 179 00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:04,876 Ego te absolvo peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, 180 00:21:04,917 --> 00:21:07,709 et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. 181 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:20,957 If I always heard confessions like yours, Your Holiness, 182 00:21:20,958 --> 00:21:23,041 I'd be out of a job. 183 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,167 How many confessions do you hear in the Vatican, Don Tommaso? 184 00:21:30,208 --> 00:21:31,375 Me? 185 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:37,167 The entire Curia, a good number of nuns and priests, 186 00:21:37,292 --> 00:21:41,250 as well as several lay employees who work in Vatican City. 187 00:21:55,417 --> 00:21:56,958 How old are you? 188 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,250 Sixty-one. 189 00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:02,667 And how's your eyesight? 190 00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:05,292 I don't even wear glasses. 191 00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:07,083 And your hearing? 192 00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:10,917 My only problem is my hair, Your Holiness. 193 00:22:10,957 --> 00:22:13,083 You mean it's falling out? 194 00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:16,333 Not only that. Sometimes it hurts. 195 00:22:18,292 --> 00:22:20,709 Your hair hurts? 196 00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:26,584 Good, very good! 197 00:22:33,709 --> 00:22:36,834 I'll be frank, Don Tommaso, I need you. 198 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,625 You must do something very important 199 00:22:39,667 --> 00:22:41,709 for the eminency of your pontiff. 200 00:22:41,834 --> 00:22:43,917 Whatever you wish, Holy Father. Tell me. 201 00:22:43,957 --> 00:22:46,584 Come then, I'll tell you in the confessional. 202 00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:51,375 Confessional booths are so beautiful. 203 00:22:51,417 --> 00:22:53,667 They look like little mountain huts. 204 00:22:54,792 --> 00:22:57,000 Do you like the mountains? 205 00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:59,375 I don't like the snow. 206 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,834 Here's what I want you to do. 207 00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:37,750 Behold the Naples trinity, Federico. 208 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:38,834 Your Eminence. 209 00:23:38,957 --> 00:23:40,958 Do you know how many books have been written about me? 210 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,167 - Seventeen. - Eighteen. 211 00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:45,792 The last one's going to press next week, 212 00:23:45,834 --> 00:23:47,750 and it's got the best title of all. 213 00:23:47,792 --> 00:23:51,333 - Which is? - The Man Behind the Scenes. 214 00:23:51,375 --> 00:23:54,709 - Beautiful. - Of course. I suggested it myself. 215 00:23:54,792 --> 00:23:58,709 - Who wrote it? - Manna, that leftist reporter. 216 00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:01,125 That means it'going to be critical of you, Your Eminence. 217 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:05,417 Of course, those are the best. They turn you into a legend. 218 00:24:06,584 --> 00:24:09,917 Don't overdo it now, or people will know you're faking it. 219 00:24:09,958 --> 00:24:12,167 Forgive me, Eminence, but that was a good one. 220 00:24:12,208 --> 00:24:15,041 You should laugh, but in proportion. 221 00:24:21,417 --> 00:24:25,125 Valente, His Holiness? 222 00:24:25,208 --> 00:24:25,958 He's at the Heliport. 223 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,208 He just got here, and he already wants to leave? 224 00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:31,125 Now you could have laughed a little more. 225 00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:34,041 He sent me to tell you he'll be late for your meeting, Eminence. 226 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:37,292 Okay, but if you see him, tell him not to be too late, 227 00:24:37,417 --> 00:24:39,750 because I, unlike him, have a lot to do. 228 00:24:39,792 --> 00:24:42,041 I've got to steet this boat, 229 00:24:42,125 --> 00:24:44,542 which that indecisive fisherman Peter left me. 230 00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:49,876 Valente, what do you make of him? 231 00:24:50,167 --> 00:24:54,500 He's a man of little appetite. Actually... very little. 232 00:24:54,958 --> 00:24:58,750 This is not a good sign. Not a good sign. 233 00:26:45,876 --> 00:26:47,250 Ma'. 234 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,876 Don't ever call me Ma'. Call me Sister Mary. 235 00:26:54,709 --> 00:26:56,333 What's that? 236 00:26:59,709 --> 00:27:01,250 My father gave it to me. 237 00:27:01,292 --> 00:27:04,083 You can give it to me if you like. I'll hold on to it for you. 238 00:27:04,125 --> 00:27:07,709 No. My father said that I should always keep it with me. 239 00:27:29,709 --> 00:27:31,000 Lenny. 240 00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:33,041 Sister Mary. 241 00:27:39,834 --> 00:27:41,125 Here you are, my saint. 242 00:27:41,167 --> 00:27:44,584 - No, I'm not a saint. - Yes. 243 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:48,958 Do you still have it on you? 244 00:27:52,709 --> 00:27:53,957 Always. 245 00:27:56,834 --> 00:27:58,375 What's this? 246 00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:03,542 A replica of the grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes. 247 00:28:03,584 --> 00:28:05,333 It's being restored. 248 00:28:05,957 --> 00:28:07,250 From now on, you're going to be living 249 00:28:07,292 --> 00:28:10,292 at the exact center of the Church. 250 00:28:16,459 --> 00:28:18,333 But I don't understand. What does that mean? 251 00:28:18,375 --> 00:28:22,000 That means that just now 252 00:28:22,041 --> 00:28:25,667 the center of the Church took a few steps back. 253 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,834 Do you like the apartment? 254 00:28:33,333 --> 00:28:34,957 I'll be just fine here. 255 00:28:34,958 --> 00:28:36,667 You're only a few feet away from me. 256 00:28:36,709 --> 00:28:40,417 On the plane I read this amusing description of Rome: 257 00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:43,667 "A suburb of Vatican City." 258 00:28:43,709 --> 00:28:49,083 Well, that's not exactly true, but it will be. 259 00:29:08,834 --> 00:29:10,667 What's wrong, Lenny? 260 00:29:13,333 --> 00:29:15,750 What's not wrong, Sister Mary! 261 00:29:20,957 --> 00:29:22,917 North is that way. 262 00:29:24,667 --> 00:29:26,876 Where Venice is. 263 00:29:34,957 --> 00:29:36,500 Listen to me, Lenny. 264 00:29:37,834 --> 00:29:41,208 Starting today, you have to lead the Church. 265 00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:45,041 One billion people. One fifth of the world's population. 266 00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:47,667 Do you understand what I'm saying, Lenny? 267 00:29:48,375 --> 00:29:52,041 One billion people will depend on what you say and do. 268 00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:56,208 They'll make important decisions, happy or sad, 269 00:29:56,250 --> 00:30:00,750 of life or death, in order to obey you, in the name of God. 270 00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:06,167 All of this creates a new perspective. 271 00:30:06,625 --> 00:30:08,876 An immense perspective. 272 00:30:10,083 --> 00:30:15,417 Now, your personal aches, your enormous sufferings, 273 00:30:15,459 --> 00:30:17,292 your terrible memories... 274 00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:19,709 It's a harsh thing to say, Lenny, but I have to say it, 275 00:30:19,750 --> 00:30:23,542 they must take a back seat. 276 00:30:23,584 --> 00:30:25,750 They are things of this earth. 277 00:30:25,792 --> 00:30:29,041 Do you understand what I'm saying, Lenny? 278 00:30:29,375 --> 00:30:32,208 I know all your sorrows, 279 00:30:32,250 --> 00:30:34,083 I've lived with them together with you, 280 00:30:34,125 --> 00:30:36,375 I've wept over them with you, 281 00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:38,459 but now the time has come for you 282 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,957 to let your sorrows to fade, 283 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:46,000 to become irrelevant, distant memories, 284 00:30:46,041 --> 00:30:50,417 insignificant, vanquished, destroyed and overpowered 285 00:30:50,459 --> 00:30:53,957 by the terrible responsibility that God has given you. 286 00:30:56,333 --> 00:30:58,625 From now on, you are no longer Lenny Belardo, 287 00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:01,709 the fatherless, motherless boy. 288 00:31:02,584 --> 00:31:05,417 From now on, 289 00:31:05,459 --> 00:31:08,667 you are Pope Pius XIII, 290 00:31:08,709 --> 00:31:13,667 Father and Mother of the entire Catholic Church. 291 00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:35,709 Allow me to say, Your Holiness, what joy! 292 00:31:35,750 --> 00:31:37,459 What joy! 293 00:31:37,834 --> 00:31:42,125 The Holy Spirit could not have illumined us in a better manner. 294 00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:45,542 In the name of the entire Church, welcome. 295 00:31:45,667 --> 00:31:49,584 May your pontificate be long, radiant, and fruitful. 296 00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,542 Let's settle for long. 297 00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:56,584 What a telling joke! 298 00:31:57,957 --> 00:32:01,459 Jokes are never telling. They're jokes. 299 00:32:03,292 --> 00:32:08,000 Well, Holy father, first of all, a small piece of information 300 00:32:08,041 --> 00:32:11,041 of a practical and picturesque nature... 301 00:32:11,083 --> 00:32:14,625 Under your desk, on the right, you will find a button. 302 00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:18,041 If you feel that an encounter is becoming disagreeable 303 00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:22,292 or a waste of time, all you have to do is to press it discreetly, 304 00:32:22,333 --> 00:32:25,667 and an assistant will swiftly appear with some excuse, 305 00:32:25,709 --> 00:32:28,625 liberating you from your engagement. 306 00:32:28,667 --> 00:32:30,167 He'll lie, in other words. 307 00:32:30,208 --> 00:32:34,876 Yes, but he'll have plenty of time and opportunity to repent. 308 00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:42,917 Well, Holy Father, if you agree, 309 00:32:42,957 --> 00:32:46,957 I would like to start with our top priorities. 310 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,417 The most urgent of them all 311 00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,542 is your first homily in Saint Peter's Square. 312 00:32:52,584 --> 00:32:54,958 There is a great deal of agitation about it, 313 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,459 something which I, in my long career, 314 00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:00,125 have never quite seen before. 315 00:33:00,167 --> 00:33:04,250 The entire office of the Secretary of State is working on it. 316 00:33:04,292 --> 00:33:07,957 I myself worked all night long on a rough draft, 317 00:33:07,958 --> 00:33:09,957 which I would like to submit you. 318 00:33:09,958 --> 00:33:12,500 The press and the faithful who are coming here 319 00:33:12,542 --> 00:33:14,917 from every corner of the globe 320 00:33:14,957 --> 00:33:19,542 were all convinced that you were going to deliver your homily today. 321 00:33:19,584 --> 00:33:23,083 We did an excellent job at curbing their spirits, 322 00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:25,250 but at the same time, Your Holiness, 323 00:33:25,292 --> 00:33:29,584 I am sorry to say that we can only delay for so long. 324 00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:35,500 Tomorrow would be ideal. There, this is the most pressing issue. 325 00:33:37,958 --> 00:33:42,917 The most pressing issue is my need for a cup of an American coffee. 326 00:33:44,083 --> 00:33:46,250 Would you make me one, Your Eminence? 327 00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:48,958 Certainly. Amatucci. 328 00:33:50,125 --> 00:33:51,957 I didn't ask him. 329 00:33:52,792 --> 00:33:54,250 I asked you. 330 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,834 It will be a pleasure and an honor for me 331 00:33:59,876 --> 00:34:02,292 to bring you coffee, Your Holiness. 332 00:34:23,083 --> 00:34:26,958 - Thank you, Your Eminence. - It's my duty, Blessed Father. 333 00:34:58,125 --> 00:35:00,957 Holy Father, now, about your homily, 334 00:35:00,958 --> 00:35:03,834 how would we like to proceed, then? 335 00:35:04,292 --> 00:35:05,459 Later. 336 00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:08,957 And has the Holy Father already thought of some candidates 337 00:35:08,958 --> 00:35:11,709 for the delicate role of a special assistant? 338 00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:12,792 I have an idea. 339 00:35:12,834 --> 00:35:15,375 I have too. Monsignor Gemelli comes to mind... 340 00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:18,584 My idea is Sister Mary. 341 00:35:23,750 --> 00:35:29,167 An admirable idea, Your Holiness, and completely understandable. 342 00:35:29,667 --> 00:35:32,792 Allow me to add, however, that unfortunately, 343 00:35:32,834 --> 00:35:39,917 the Curia has complex mechanisms which might seem like astrophysics. 344 00:35:40,292 --> 00:35:44,625 Therefore, the Holy Father's inevitable lack of experience, 345 00:35:44,667 --> 00:35:48,834 together with Sister Mary's inevitable lack of experience 346 00:35:48,876 --> 00:35:52,125 would lead me to suggest an internal contribution... 347 00:35:52,167 --> 00:35:56,876 Of course I realize how central Sister Mary seems to you. 348 00:35:56,917 --> 00:36:01,000 We could invent a sort of ad hoc role for her. 349 00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:04,250 We won't lack for imagination around here. 350 00:36:05,125 --> 00:36:11,250 Yeah, you're exactly right, Voiello, she's central. 351 00:36:12,041 --> 00:36:16,041 Sister Mary took me in at her orphanage when I was 7 years old, 352 00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:19,000 she raised me and she loved me. She made me a good Christian. 353 00:36:19,041 --> 00:36:20,542 A great Christian! 354 00:36:23,417 --> 00:36:26,917 Monsignor Gemelli is experienced, I would rely on him. 355 00:36:26,957 --> 00:36:29,625 Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly. 356 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:34,375 Perhaps, Holy Father. My English does have its limits. 357 00:36:34,459 --> 00:36:36,792 You'd better improve it then. 358 00:36:37,417 --> 00:36:41,000 Sister Mary will be my special assistant. 359 00:36:41,333 --> 00:36:43,584 As you wish, Holy Father. 360 00:36:43,667 --> 00:36:46,958 Then, of course, there is the matter of drafting 361 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,958 and delivering your address to the College of Cardinals. 362 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,750 They're all still here. 363 00:36:52,792 --> 00:36:56,333 They will not leave the Vatican until you address them. 364 00:36:57,750 --> 00:36:58,917 Later. 365 00:36:58,957 --> 00:37:00,917 In the office of the Secretary, 366 00:37:00,957 --> 00:37:05,500 we have been wondering if the Holy Father would care to provide us 367 00:37:05,542 --> 00:37:10,041 with some indications regarding the draft of an encyclical. 368 00:37:10,333 --> 00:37:11,750 Later. 369 00:37:12,958 --> 00:37:15,750 The prefects of the various congregations are of course 370 00:37:15,792 --> 00:37:18,667 eager to see you with their own eyes. 371 00:37:18,709 --> 00:37:23,208 But I imagine that you would like to deal with this matter... later. 372 00:37:24,125 --> 00:37:25,792 No, now. 373 00:37:26,417 --> 00:37:27,958 First off, I want to meet the Prefect 374 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,333 for the Congregation for the Clergy. 375 00:37:32,876 --> 00:37:35,041 At any rate, Holy Father, 376 00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:39,000 I understand your reluctance about the encyclical. 377 00:37:39,375 --> 00:37:42,876 Your predecessor always made me laugh when he said 378 00:37:42,917 --> 00:37:48,041 that an encyclical is like Proust's "In Search of Lost Time". 379 00:37:48,083 --> 00:37:51,667 Everyone quotes it, but no one reads it. 380 00:38:03,667 --> 00:38:05,917 Are you sleeping, Holy Father? 381 00:38:07,250 --> 00:38:09,957 No Your Eminence, I'm praying. 382 00:38:10,750 --> 00:38:12,500 For you. 383 00:38:22,876 --> 00:38:26,957 Stop looking at the Venus of Willendorf in that way. 384 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:44,208 Holy Father, Holy Father, smoking is not allowed in the papal palace! 385 00:38:46,292 --> 00:38:47,709 Is that so? 386 00:38:49,584 --> 00:38:51,000 Who decided that? 387 00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:52,750 John Paul II. 388 00:38:52,792 --> 00:38:55,292 - The Pope? - Yes, the Pope. 389 00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:58,125 There's a new Pope now. 390 00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:00,876 True. 391 00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:05,958 - Your Eminence... - Yes, Holy Father. 392 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,250 You're too tied to the past. 393 00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:12,250 They say the same thing about you, Your Holiness. 394 00:39:13,958 --> 00:39:17,500 The past is an enormous place, with all sorts of things inside. 395 00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,500 Not so with the present. 396 00:39:22,375 --> 00:39:24,375 The present is merely a narrow opening, 397 00:39:24,417 --> 00:39:27,500 with room for only one pair of eyes. 398 00:39:28,917 --> 00:39:30,208 Mine. 399 00:39:56,625 --> 00:39:58,333 Your eminence. 400 00:39:58,375 --> 00:39:59,459 Yes. 401 00:40:00,250 --> 00:40:02,250 Our top priorities. 402 00:40:02,292 --> 00:40:04,667 Here I am. As I was saying... 403 00:40:04,709 --> 00:40:08,041 You will be in charge of politics, 404 00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:13,375 finance, theology, appointments and promotions. 405 00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:15,958 I will take care of worldly matters, 406 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,041 travel, adulation of the masses, celebrations. 407 00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:22,750 A most effective division of roles, Holy Father. 408 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:25,709 Your Eminence. 409 00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:27,292 Yes, Blessed Father? 410 00:40:27,333 --> 00:40:29,041 I was just kidding. 411 00:40:30,417 --> 00:40:33,542 - That wasn't obvious? - Hardly! 412 00:40:34,333 --> 00:40:39,750 So, as I was saying, our top priorities are... 413 00:40:39,792 --> 00:40:43,417 One: the Radio Vatican signal needs boosting. 414 00:40:43,459 --> 00:40:46,958 It is unacceptable that reception is so poor. 415 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:51,667 Two: the pope wants to see all the gifts the pope receives. 416 00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:55,834 Have a storage space fitted out for storing all the gifts I receive. 417 00:40:55,876 --> 00:41:00,083 Three: the Vatican must immediately buy back the papal tiara 418 00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:03,000 from the basilica in Washington DC, 419 00:41:03,041 --> 00:41:08,250 which my predecessors, who favoured sobriety over tradition, 420 00:41:08,292 --> 00:41:10,167 imprudently let go. 421 00:41:10,957 --> 00:41:16,834 And four: Sister Mary will also look after you. 422 00:41:18,250 --> 00:41:20,625 She will oversee all your activities 423 00:41:20,667 --> 00:41:23,500 and report directly back to me. 424 00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:27,667 She will be your guardian angel. 425 00:41:29,834 --> 00:41:33,041 I'm sixty years, Holy Father. 426 00:41:33,125 --> 00:41:34,876 I don't need a guardian angel. 427 00:41:34,917 --> 00:41:38,000 Oh, we all need a guardian angel, Voiello. 428 00:41:38,417 --> 00:41:42,000 Especially unscrupulous, ambiguous men. 429 00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:45,957 Then, please, allow me to choose mine myself. 430 00:41:45,958 --> 00:41:48,167 In another life. 431 00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:53,667 In this life, the Pope chooses your guardian angel for you. 432 00:41:53,957 --> 00:41:57,500 And he is the Pope. 433 00:41:58,667 --> 00:42:00,958 Did you call for me, Holy Father? 434 00:42:28,958 --> 00:42:30,125 Papa! 435 00:42:40,876 --> 00:42:43,667 It all comes back to this in the end, doesn't it? 436 00:42:44,167 --> 00:42:46,000 To the mother. 437 00:42:49,750 --> 00:42:52,584 How was your mother like, Monsignor Gutierrez? 438 00:42:56,083 --> 00:43:00,208 She was a woman who did not scorn wickedness. 439 00:43:00,792 --> 00:43:04,792 And it had the effect of creating a son full of goodness. 440 00:43:05,958 --> 00:43:08,041 I've inquired about you. 441 00:43:08,957 --> 00:43:13,375 Everyone tells me you are a shining example of goodness. 442 00:43:13,667 --> 00:43:17,000 I thank you for believing them, Holy Father. 443 00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:20,333 It is I who should thank you, 444 00:43:20,375 --> 00:43:23,750 for allowing me to be here without hordes of tourists. 445 00:43:23,792 --> 00:43:25,958 That's my duty, Holy Father. 446 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,667 Was it hard, close off the Basilica to tourists? 447 00:43:28,709 --> 00:43:32,792 No, no, all we had to do was hang up a sign saying "closed". 448 00:43:44,292 --> 00:43:48,000 I will never shed my aversion to tourists. 449 00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:52,500 Why is that, Holy Father? 450 00:43:57,792 --> 00:44:00,542 Because they are just passing through. 451 00:44:07,957 --> 00:44:11,958 I was late because I couldn't find your office. 452 00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:14,417 I know. You opened the wrong door 453 00:44:14,459 --> 00:44:18,041 and found yourself face to face with some visitors to our museum. 454 00:44:18,083 --> 00:44:21,041 So you've been inquired about me too. 455 00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:26,000 It's very difficult to keep anything secret in the Vatican. 456 00:44:26,041 --> 00:44:28,750 Rumors fly so quickly 457 00:44:28,792 --> 00:44:32,958 that sometimes they arrive even before the event has taken place. 458 00:44:34,125 --> 00:44:37,750 That's quite a useful piece of information for my future. 459 00:44:37,792 --> 00:44:41,625 Which is exactly what it was intended to be, Holy Father. 460 00:44:41,667 --> 00:44:44,792 Ah, what is one to do, Monsignor? 461 00:44:45,333 --> 00:44:49,333 It's the times. In America, we call it gossip. 462 00:44:50,167 --> 00:44:53,876 Here in the Vatican we call it calumny. 463 00:44:54,876 --> 00:44:56,584 This way. 464 00:45:08,041 --> 00:45:10,792 How many years have you been at the Vatican? 465 00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:13,500 So many that I've stopped to counting. 466 00:45:13,542 --> 00:45:15,208 Do you like it here? 467 00:45:15,250 --> 00:45:17,958 Yes, I feel safe here. 468 00:45:19,542 --> 00:45:22,459 It's as if time were dead. 469 00:45:26,208 --> 00:45:30,041 Speaking of that time, the other day, during the Conclave, 470 00:45:30,083 --> 00:45:32,792 I read an Italian newspaper. 471 00:45:33,333 --> 00:45:37,958 It was an article about this politician 472 00:45:38,292 --> 00:45:41,542 who had hidden some compromising files 473 00:45:41,584 --> 00:45:44,957 in the gaps between the walls of his house. 474 00:45:44,958 --> 00:45:47,208 Yes, I read about that as well. 475 00:45:47,542 --> 00:45:49,167 I thought... 476 00:45:51,834 --> 00:45:55,834 I wouldn't need to hide anything in the gaps in my house. 477 00:45:58,167 --> 00:46:00,667 Because my mind is a gap. 478 00:46:01,958 --> 00:46:06,083 And everything that is hidden from me, 479 00:46:07,834 --> 00:46:12,542 sooner or later is revealed. 480 00:46:15,333 --> 00:46:19,500 As if it were being entrusted to me. 481 00:46:23,167 --> 00:46:25,958 A precious skill for leading the Church. 482 00:46:29,459 --> 00:46:31,667 It's not a skill, Gutierrez... 483 00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,957 it's my destiny! 484 00:47:28,333 --> 00:47:32,667 Federico, do you know why all the good souls of this world 485 00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,750 rage against power? 486 00:47:34,834 --> 00:47:36,542 Why, Your Eminence? 487 00:47:36,667 --> 00:47:39,625 Because they simply don't know what it is. 488 00:47:40,792 --> 00:47:42,250 What is it? 489 00:47:43,208 --> 00:47:45,500 Power is knowledge. 490 00:47:47,208 --> 00:47:50,041 What is it you want to know, Eminence? 491 00:47:51,125 --> 00:47:55,957 Who is Pius XIII? Or rather, who was Lenny Belardo? 492 00:47:56,584 --> 00:47:59,250 You need to carry out a small investigation, 493 00:47:59,292 --> 00:48:00,957 discreet but thorough. 494 00:48:01,459 --> 00:48:05,250 His week spots, his trials and tribulations, his sins. 495 00:48:06,333 --> 00:48:08,375 Especially his sins. 496 00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:10,250 Because the sins we commit in the past are the same ones 497 00:48:10,292 --> 00:48:13,500 we'll commit in the future. 498 00:48:13,958 --> 00:48:18,292 Because man is like God. He never changes. 499 00:48:19,375 --> 00:48:20,957 I'll start right in. 500 00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:23,542 But is the situation of this papacy already that serious? 501 00:48:23,625 --> 00:48:27,667 No, not yet. But if it were to become so, 502 00:48:27,709 --> 00:48:28,917 we'll be ready. 503 00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,542 Because the powerful may have knowledge, 504 00:48:35,167 --> 00:48:37,500 but they don't realize what it takes to be more powerful 505 00:48:37,542 --> 00:48:39,292 than anyone else. 506 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,584 And what does it take? 507 00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:44,709 See how beautiful it is? 508 00:48:45,041 --> 00:48:47,625 It takes getting knowledge before anyone else does. 509 00:48:47,957 --> 00:48:49,417 Fabulous. 510 00:48:58,292 --> 00:49:00,792 Go on, Tommaso, don't be afraid. 511 00:49:02,917 --> 00:49:05,957 But violating the secret of the confessional is... 512 00:49:05,958 --> 00:49:09,250 No, no, it's not, not if the information is intended for me, 513 00:49:09,292 --> 00:49:12,957 the Pontiff, and is for the survival of our Church. 514 00:49:15,876 --> 00:49:17,834 Don't disappoint me, Tommaso. 515 00:49:17,957 --> 00:49:22,500 Your Holiness, I'm just a poor, simple priest, 516 00:49:22,542 --> 00:49:25,167 and the secret of the confessional 517 00:49:25,208 --> 00:49:27,542 is the only respectable thing I have. 518 00:49:27,584 --> 00:49:30,667 Today. But think of tomorrow. 519 00:49:30,709 --> 00:49:33,750 Scarlet robes and the ring are in your future. 520 00:49:35,542 --> 00:49:39,167 The cardinalship, my dear. Which is much more respectable. 521 00:49:41,167 --> 00:49:43,792 What if someone hears us? 522 00:49:45,667 --> 00:49:47,876 Only he can hear us up here. 523 00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:51,417 Who knows where he is? 524 00:49:55,125 --> 00:49:57,709 There! By the big dipper. 525 00:49:59,542 --> 00:50:01,709 That's where God's house is. 526 00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:05,876 God's house! What's it like? 527 00:50:06,667 --> 00:50:10,584 Half of a duplex, with a private swimming pool. 528 00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,125 Come on now, tell me people's sins. 529 00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:25,542 Well, have I already told you about Voiello's impure thoughts 530 00:50:25,584 --> 00:50:27,958 about the Venus of Willendorf? 531 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,000 Yes, yes you told me already. What else? 532 00:50:37,667 --> 00:50:45,083 No, nothing... Cardinal Aguirre did an imitation of you today, 533 00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:47,709 Your Holiness. Everyone laughed. 534 00:50:48,083 --> 00:50:49,459 Did you laugh? 535 00:50:55,292 --> 00:50:59,459 Yes, but to myself. So no one noticed. 536 00:51:00,542 --> 00:51:03,292 Good. What else? 537 00:51:06,542 --> 00:51:10,500 Everybody is wondering who Sister Mary is to you, 538 00:51:10,958 --> 00:51:12,957 what she's doing here. 539 00:51:13,958 --> 00:51:15,834 What else? 540 00:51:15,876 --> 00:51:18,167 Everybody is also wondering: 541 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:22,125 is the Pope thinking about his first homily? 542 00:51:23,459 --> 00:51:25,876 I ask myself the same thing all the time. 543 00:51:25,917 --> 00:51:28,167 Of course I'm thinking about it. 544 00:51:29,125 --> 00:51:32,375 It's all I think about. I even dreamed about it. 545 00:51:35,041 --> 00:51:37,709 I'm let you in on a secret: 546 00:51:38,375 --> 00:51:41,333 ever since I was little, I've learned to confound people's ideas 547 00:51:41,375 --> 00:51:43,709 on what's going on in my head. 548 00:51:44,667 --> 00:51:47,876 You're so wise, Holy Father. 549 00:51:47,958 --> 00:51:54,333 Not only that, I'm also intransigent, irritable, 550 00:51:56,542 --> 00:51:58,500 vindictive... 551 00:52:00,667 --> 00:52:03,333 and I have a prodigious memory. 552 00:52:04,792 --> 00:52:07,000 And now I want to make my confession. 553 00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:08,876 Fine. Let's go back downstairs. 554 00:52:08,958 --> 00:52:11,625 No, here. 555 00:52:12,208 --> 00:52:14,167 Before the house of God. 556 00:52:14,542 --> 00:52:16,792 Oh... okay. 557 00:52:20,957 --> 00:52:23,917 In nomine Patris, et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. 558 00:52:23,957 --> 00:52:28,375 God, my conscience is not accuse me, 559 00:52:29,292 --> 00:52:33,000 because you do not believe I am capable of repenting. 560 00:52:34,417 --> 00:52:38,167 And therefore, I do not believe in you. 561 00:52:38,208 --> 00:52:42,625 I don't believe you are capable of saving me from myself. 562 00:52:43,542 --> 00:52:46,876 Holy father, what are you saying? 563 00:52:49,217 --> 00:52:52,300 I'm saying that I don't believe in God, Tommaso. 564 00:52:52,841 --> 00:52:54,634 What are you saying, Blessed Father?! 565 00:52:54,676 --> 00:52:56,092 Tommaso, Tommaso. 566 00:53:00,217 --> 00:53:02,342 I was joking.