1 00:00:00,044 --> 00:00:02,797 A few times a year, there was a dedicated day 2 00:00:03,006 --> 00:00:04,841 where my school was closed. 3 00:00:05,008 --> 00:00:06,926 This allowed the teachers to catch up 4 00:00:07,093 --> 00:00:08,803 on their administrative duties. 5 00:00:09,012 --> 00:00:11,556 While I was normally against a break from learning, 6 00:00:11,723 --> 00:00:14,517 I did applaud the Medford faculty's commitment 7 00:00:14,684 --> 00:00:16,561 - to our education. - Oh, man. 8 00:00:16,728 --> 00:00:19,689 - How great is this place without kids in it? - I heard that. 9 00:00:20,064 --> 00:00:22,275 On one of those days, I got to spend time 10 00:00:22,442 --> 00:00:23,693 with my mom at herjob. 11 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:24,861 Did you write that? 12 00:00:25,028 --> 00:00:27,030 - You betcha. - Instead of puns, 13 00:00:27,196 --> 00:00:29,866 have you considered composing a humorous palindrome? 14 00:00:30,366 --> 00:00:33,036 It's a phrase that reads the same backwards as forwards. 15 00:00:33,244 --> 00:00:35,747 For example, "Do geese see God?" 16 00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:39,000 Trust me. Both ways. 17 00:00:40,293 --> 00:00:41,294 Come inside. 18 00:00:41,711 --> 00:00:44,922 Some other good ones are radar, level, kayak. 19 00:00:45,173 --> 00:00:46,799 That's a funny word. Kayak. 20 00:00:46,966 --> 00:00:48,176 Never get me in one. 21 00:00:49,761 --> 00:00:50,803 So what's the plan? 22 00:00:51,054 --> 00:00:52,374 How will I be entertained all day? 23 00:00:52,638 --> 00:00:54,515 I thought you could be my little helper. 24 00:00:54,932 --> 00:00:57,518 I prefer executive assistant. Carries more weight. 25 00:00:57,935 --> 00:01:00,855 Fine. You stay here. I'm gonna go talk to Pastor Jeff. 26 00:01:01,773 --> 00:01:03,274 - Mom. - What? 27 00:01:03,357 --> 00:01:06,069 "Mom" is also a palindrome. M-O-M. 28 00:01:10,573 --> 00:01:11,824 Good morning, Peg. 29 00:01:11,991 --> 00:01:15,078 Any morning you wake up is a good morning. 30 00:01:15,578 --> 00:01:16,578 Okay. 31 00:01:18,748 --> 00:01:20,458 Come in. 32 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,960 Good morn... oh, it's dark in here. 33 00:01:23,294 --> 00:01:24,545 Uh-huh. 34 00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:26,589 Everything okay? 35 00:01:27,423 --> 00:01:28,466 Mm-hmm. 36 00:01:29,509 --> 00:01:31,302 I need you to use your words. 37 00:01:33,513 --> 00:01:35,223 My marriage is over. 38 00:01:35,765 --> 00:01:36,849 Mm-hmm... 39 00:01:37,016 --> 00:01:40,269 ♪♪ Vaya con Dios ♪♪ 40 00:01:40,478 --> 00:01:42,313 ♪♪ My darling... ♪♪ 41 00:01:43,022 --> 00:01:45,733 ♪♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪♪ 42 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:48,611 ♪♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪♪ 43 00:01:48,778 --> 00:01:51,155 ♪♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪♪ 44 00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:54,242 ♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪ 45 00:01:54,408 --> 00:01:57,745 ♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪ 46 00:02:00,164 --> 00:02:02,250 We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. 47 00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:05,962 In the '50s, people had separate beds. 48 00:02:06,212 --> 00:02:08,673 Lucy and Ricky did it. Their marriage worked. 49 00:02:11,092 --> 00:02:13,094 I... I'm sure it's just a rough patch. 50 00:02:13,511 --> 00:02:15,429 Boy, I hope so. 51 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:18,391 Well, if there's any way I can make your life easier, 52 00:02:18,558 --> 00:02:19,559 you let me know. 53 00:02:20,268 --> 00:02:22,520 Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate it. 54 00:02:24,522 --> 00:02:28,025 Oh, I almost forgot, um, Sheldon's here with me today. 55 00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:29,735 Great. 56 00:02:45,751 --> 00:02:47,545 Hey, little man. How you doing? 57 00:02:48,171 --> 00:02:49,547 You smell like cigarettes. 58 00:02:50,214 --> 00:02:51,299 You're fun. 59 00:02:51,632 --> 00:02:53,092 Do you know what this binder is? 60 00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:57,096 It's a record of donations people make to the church. 61 00:02:57,346 --> 00:02:59,015 This data could easily be transferred 62 00:02:59,182 --> 00:03:00,474 into a computerized spreadsheet. 63 00:03:00,641 --> 00:03:01,642 Why isn't it? 64 00:03:01,851 --> 00:03:02,852 No idea. 65 00:03:03,811 --> 00:03:06,230 You also smell like mothballs and Ben-Gay. 66 00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:09,275 Bye. 67 00:03:12,904 --> 00:03:15,615 I hope you don't mind, I invited Pastor Jeff for dinner. 68 00:03:15,865 --> 00:03:16,908 That's fine. 69 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,367 I was talking to your father. 70 00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:19,619 What's the occasion? 71 00:03:20,244 --> 00:03:22,663 No occasion, just thought it'd be nice. 72 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,081 His wife coming, too? 73 00:03:24,749 --> 00:03:25,917 No. Just him. 74 00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:27,334 They having problems? 75 00:03:27,376 --> 00:03:29,170 He's just coming to dinner. That's all. 76 00:03:29,712 --> 00:03:30,838 You two having problems? 77 00:03:31,422 --> 00:03:32,924 - Are we? - No. 78 00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:36,260 Pastor Jeff's wife is so much prettier than him. 79 00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:38,054 It's like Barbie married a turtle. 80 00:03:39,013 --> 00:03:40,723 Hey. Here's a fun idea: 81 00:03:40,890 --> 00:03:42,350 How about you and Sheldon have dinner 82 00:03:42,516 --> 00:03:44,435 - at Meemaw's tonight? - All right. 83 00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:46,854 They are a weird-looking couple. 84 00:03:47,021 --> 00:03:48,439 You want to eat at my mom's, too? 85 00:03:48,731 --> 00:03:50,608 Oh, come on. You got eyes. 86 00:03:55,238 --> 00:03:57,240 Pastor, would you like to lead us in grace? 87 00:03:57,615 --> 00:03:58,699 I'd be honored. 88 00:03:59,909 --> 00:04:02,870 Heavenly Father, thank you for this food. 89 00:04:03,204 --> 00:04:05,998 I pray that it nourishes and strengthens us, 90 00:04:06,165 --> 00:04:08,292 and bless Mary for preparing it. 91 00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:10,461 And thank you for the Coopers 92 00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:14,382 who have invited me into their loving home. 93 00:04:15,174 --> 00:04:18,094 They are a shining example 94 00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:20,763 of what a marriage can be. 95 00:04:21,347 --> 00:04:25,476 One that I hope to have again someday. 96 00:04:26,644 --> 00:04:28,479 - Amen. - And please give me the strength... 97 00:04:28,646 --> 00:04:29,689 Sorry. 98 00:04:29,772 --> 00:04:31,941 The strength to walk this road 99 00:04:32,108 --> 00:04:36,445 with unconditional love and joy in my heart. 100 00:04:36,946 --> 00:04:37,947 Amen. 101 00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:39,073 - Amen. - Amen. 102 00:04:42,285 --> 00:04:43,828 Well, let's eat! 103 00:04:46,205 --> 00:04:48,291 - Cheers. - Cheers. 104 00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:50,126 - Cheers. - Cheers. 105 00:04:51,252 --> 00:04:53,004 Dang, this place is nice. 106 00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:55,756 That's because it was supposed to be a date. 107 00:04:56,173 --> 00:04:57,675 Cool. My first date. 108 00:04:58,009 --> 00:05:00,052 Meemaw, I've been going through the church records, 109 00:05:00,219 --> 00:05:02,763 and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time. 110 00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:05,099 Why are you going through the records? 111 00:05:05,474 --> 00:05:07,018 I'm an executive assistant. 112 00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:08,769 - Good for you. - You see, 113 00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:11,480 God and I have a deal. And when he helps me win big 114 00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:13,649 at the casino, I give him a cut. 115 00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:15,318 And lately, he has not been holding up 116 00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:16,652 his part of the bargain. 117 00:05:17,361 --> 00:05:20,740 "Steak aw poyver with fritties"? 118 00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,408 - It's French. - Oh. 119 00:05:22,742 --> 00:05:23,826 What's a crock monster? 120 00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:25,661 It's a croque monsieur, 121 00:05:25,828 --> 00:05:29,540 and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham. 122 00:05:30,207 --> 00:05:31,292 I want that. 123 00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:34,211 There's lemon in this water. 124 00:05:43,929 --> 00:05:45,848 So, uh, who do you think the Oilers 125 00:05:46,015 --> 00:05:47,141 are gonna take in the draft? 126 00:05:47,558 --> 00:05:49,518 Oh, I don't really follow sports. 127 00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:52,396 I'm just gonna eat. 128 00:05:56,275 --> 00:05:58,486 What's he doing here? Y'all getting a divorce? 129 00:05:59,111 --> 00:06:01,280 No. No, he's just here for dinner. 130 00:06:02,156 --> 00:06:04,700 Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness. 131 00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:08,079 I thought you were hanging out with Veronica tonight. 132 00:06:08,788 --> 00:06:10,708 We were supposed to, but then she invited a bunch 133 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:12,291 of her choir friends over, 134 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,460 and it turned into a stupid Bible study. 135 00:06:14,835 --> 00:06:16,670 - No offense. - None taken. 136 00:06:17,088 --> 00:06:18,089 - Hmm. - Honestly, 137 00:06:18,172 --> 00:06:20,049 I do not understand the female mind. 138 00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:21,634 Do something. 139 00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:24,345 Georgie, why don't you go eat dinner in front of the TV? 140 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,390 No, it's all right. Sounds like Georgie's having trouble 141 00:06:27,556 --> 00:06:29,183 navigating the perilous waters 142 00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:30,643 of a relationship. 143 00:06:31,185 --> 00:06:32,937 Believe me, I can understand. 144 00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:35,398 You having problems with your hot wife? 145 00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:40,277 Maybe I'll go eat by the TV. 146 00:06:44,907 --> 00:06:46,575 I'm liking my crock monster. 147 00:06:46,826 --> 00:06:48,077 Mmm. Me, too. 148 00:06:48,327 --> 00:06:50,413 I can't taste anything after the lemon water. 149 00:06:51,163 --> 00:06:52,915 I'm glad y'all are having a good time. 150 00:06:53,082 --> 00:06:54,083 You're welcome. 151 00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:55,477 Where are we having dinner tomorrow? 152 00:06:55,501 --> 00:06:56,669 Nowhere. 153 00:06:56,919 --> 00:06:59,922 Dr. Sturgis and I are going to Louisiana, do a little gambling. 154 00:07:00,673 --> 00:07:02,383 So a donation could be forthcoming? 155 00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:03,592 Don't jinx me. 156 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:06,929 It's my first time going to a casino. 157 00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:10,391 It's amazing. There's bright lights and bells and buzzers 158 00:07:10,558 --> 00:07:11,559 and people yelling. 159 00:07:12,059 --> 00:07:13,102 Ugh. 160 00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:18,274 Veronica says I'm the nicest guy she knows. 161 00:07:18,399 --> 00:07:20,443 She also says she only wants to date nice guys. 162 00:07:20,776 --> 00:07:22,921 - Does that mean she wants to date me? - I bet she doesn't. 163 00:07:22,945 --> 00:07:25,156 No, she does not. Doesn't make any sense. 164 00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:27,074 Nothing they do makes any sense. 165 00:07:27,575 --> 00:07:30,077 - I know... - At least he's not crying anymore. 166 00:07:30,211 --> 00:07:31,837 Devil's got something to do with it. 167 00:07:37,585 --> 00:07:40,463 Mary, George, I can't thank you enough for this. 168 00:07:40,713 --> 00:07:41,714 It was our pleasure. 169 00:07:43,549 --> 00:07:45,176 So, Pastor, are you gonna try 170 00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:46,886 and talk things out with Selena? 171 00:07:47,178 --> 00:07:49,346 Well, we're really not on speaking terms, 172 00:07:49,513 --> 00:07:52,349 so I'll just be heading back to my office, sleep on the couch. 173 00:07:52,516 --> 00:07:55,019 That's ridiculous. He can stay with us, can't he? 174 00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:58,439 Uh, I guess that'd be okay. 175 00:07:58,606 --> 00:08:00,691 - Of course it would. - Oh. 176 00:08:00,858 --> 00:08:02,651 I couldn't possibly impose. 177 00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:05,779 Sure you could. In fact, you can take my room. 178 00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:09,158 Well, y'all are too kind. 179 00:08:10,993 --> 00:08:12,203 - Hello. - Oh. 180 00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:13,579 Did y'all have a good time? 181 00:08:13,746 --> 00:08:14,914 - Yes. - It was great. 182 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,541 Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is gonna be spending the night. 183 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,502 If the kids could sleep at your place? 184 00:08:19,752 --> 00:08:21,086 No. Bye. 185 00:08:32,431 --> 00:08:33,432 George. 186 00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,476 What? What's wrong? 187 00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:37,728 The pastor's up making tea. 188 00:08:38,687 --> 00:08:40,105 What, you want me to blow on it? 189 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:41,941 Go talk to him. 190 00:08:42,316 --> 00:08:43,317 About what? 191 00:08:43,776 --> 00:08:45,402 I don't know. 192 00:08:45,486 --> 00:08:47,279 Maybe you could give him a male perspective 193 00:08:47,446 --> 00:08:49,073 on relationship issues. 194 00:08:50,366 --> 00:08:51,659 How about this? 195 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:54,912 What if I close my eyes and pray on it? 196 00:08:56,288 --> 00:08:57,414 Hey. 197 00:08:57,873 --> 00:09:00,251 Oh, hi. I hope I didn't wake you. 198 00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:04,046 Uh, no, no. Just get... getting some water. 199 00:09:07,383 --> 00:09:08,717 Can I fix you some chamomile? 200 00:09:10,261 --> 00:09:11,262 No, thanks. 201 00:09:13,889 --> 00:09:17,226 So... 202 00:09:20,229 --> 00:09:21,397 Tough times, huh? 203 00:09:22,147 --> 00:09:23,857 - Yeah. - Yeah. 204 00:09:36,745 --> 00:09:39,248 Hey, uh, does the Bible say anything 205 00:09:39,415 --> 00:09:41,292 about heartache and such? 206 00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:45,129 Psalm 147, verse three: "The Lord healeth 207 00:09:45,296 --> 00:09:47,590 the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." 208 00:09:48,007 --> 00:09:50,092 Well, there you go-eth. 209 00:09:50,342 --> 00:09:52,320 Except I'm feeling kicked in the nethers right now, 210 00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:54,888 and he sure is taking his sweet time with the healing. 211 00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:57,933 He takes his sweet time about a lot of things. 212 00:09:59,893 --> 00:10:01,053 Uh, not that I'm complaining. 213 00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:03,856 You know, his will, not mine, etcetera. 214 00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:12,906 You know, one thing I can say is that 215 00:10:13,616 --> 00:10:17,244 having a happy marriage is... it's hard work. 216 00:10:17,411 --> 00:10:19,705 Oh, I know. As the pastor, people come to me 217 00:10:19,872 --> 00:10:21,790 with relationship problems all the time. 218 00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:24,418 Bet you hear some juicy ones, huh? 219 00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:26,378 "Juicy" doesn't begin to describe it. 220 00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:29,340 - Oh... give me a sample. - I can't. 221 00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:33,093 There's strict pastor-flock confidentiality. 222 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:34,428 Sure. Sure. 223 00:10:34,595 --> 00:10:36,555 Mm. 224 00:10:39,058 --> 00:10:41,101 Mary doesn't tell you things about us, does she? 225 00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:43,937 I'm... not at liberty to say. 226 00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:46,145 But she does, doesn't she? 227 00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:48,192 - Yeah. - Yeah. 228 00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:58,243 These people clearly don't know what ten percent means. 229 00:10:58,744 --> 00:10:59,912 What are you talking about? 230 00:11:00,496 --> 00:11:02,223 This is the list of all the people who belong 231 00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:04,083 to the church and how much money they donate. 232 00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:06,877 Dorothy and Fred Nelson gave a dollar last week. 233 00:11:07,294 --> 00:11:09,463 - So? - They own the Piggly Wiggly. 234 00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:11,256 They can afford to give much more. 235 00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:12,549 Weird. 236 00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:15,052 You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry. 237 00:11:18,639 --> 00:11:20,766 Really? You're drinking in the morning now? 238 00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,769 What? Oh, look at that. 239 00:11:24,228 --> 00:11:25,354 Felt later. 240 00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:27,451 Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home? 241 00:11:28,065 --> 00:11:30,192 He hasn't come out of Georgie's room. 242 00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:32,444 Maybe he found Georgie's magazines. 243 00:11:33,195 --> 00:11:34,947 He's a man of God. 244 00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:37,157 You're adorable. 245 00:11:44,957 --> 00:11:46,583 I have stories. Come back here. 246 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:48,669 - It's my favorite table. - Oh, hey, Connie. 247 00:11:48,877 --> 00:11:50,254 Hi, Felicia. 248 00:11:50,504 --> 00:11:51,630 Chip me for a deuce. 249 00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:54,299 How's your daughter doing? 250 00:11:54,466 --> 00:11:55,592 Oh, surgery went great. 251 00:11:55,718 --> 00:11:56,760 Thanks for asking. 252 00:11:56,844 --> 00:11:58,595 Her daughter got kicked by a horse. 253 00:11:58,846 --> 00:12:01,348 - They had to pin a couple of bones together. - Oh, my. 254 00:12:01,515 --> 00:12:03,225 She won't be stealing any more horses 255 00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:04,518 for a little while. 256 00:12:04,768 --> 00:12:06,478 - Your usual, Connie? - Yeah. 257 00:12:07,146 --> 00:12:08,272 John, you want something? 258 00:12:08,856 --> 00:12:10,482 I would like a Fresca, please. 259 00:12:10,691 --> 00:12:12,067 - Got it, hon. - Connie. 260 00:12:12,568 --> 00:12:14,568 Duke-North Carolina's about to start. Want a piece? 261 00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:17,573 Yeah, baby. Give me the points on Duke for a nickel. 262 00:12:18,073 --> 00:12:19,241 - All right. - A nickel. 263 00:12:19,408 --> 00:12:20,743 That's a silly bet. 264 00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:22,119 It's 50 bucks. 265 00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:25,122 A thousand nickels. Less silly. 266 00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:27,332 I must say, uh... 267 00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:30,753 this is a side of you I've never... seen before. 268 00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:32,379 You're all right with it, aren't you? 269 00:12:32,463 --> 00:12:33,630 Oh, sure. 270 00:12:34,298 --> 00:12:36,633 When are you gonna give that man your $50? 271 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,761 Don't worry about it. Hit me. 272 00:12:39,386 --> 00:12:40,429 I'm a little worried. 273 00:12:45,017 --> 00:12:46,310 Pastor Jeff? 274 00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:48,312 Everything all right in there? 275 00:12:49,313 --> 00:12:50,314 Oh, yeah. 276 00:12:50,522 --> 00:12:52,691 I've just been praying, napping, crying. 277 00:12:53,025 --> 00:12:54,026 I like to mix it up. 278 00:12:54,818 --> 00:12:55,986 Well, how's it going? 279 00:12:56,695 --> 00:12:57,821 Good, actually. 280 00:12:58,155 --> 00:13:01,492 I have this feeling inside that I should head home. 281 00:13:02,284 --> 00:13:05,871 Well, then you got to honor that feeling. That's God. 282 00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,373 You're right. You want to come with? 283 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,709 Do you really want me there 284 00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:12,476 while you patch things up with your wife? 285 00:13:12,753 --> 00:13:15,233 She's less likely to throw any steak knives if we have company. 286 00:13:17,049 --> 00:13:20,010 Um... if you think it'll help, I suppose... 287 00:13:20,177 --> 00:13:21,220 Great, let's hit it. 288 00:13:23,514 --> 00:13:24,515 Oh... 289 00:13:25,224 --> 00:13:27,184 Hello, is this the Nelson residence? 290 00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:29,520 Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper, 291 00:13:29,686 --> 00:13:31,271 the executive assistant secretary 292 00:13:31,438 --> 00:13:33,148 at the First Baptist Church of Medford. 293 00:13:33,565 --> 00:13:35,165 I'm looking through our donation records, 294 00:13:35,192 --> 00:13:37,032 and I've noticed that you've tapered off a bit. 295 00:13:38,946 --> 00:13:41,573 Well, yes, your children's education is expensive, 296 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,033 but so is running a church. 297 00:13:43,992 --> 00:13:44,993 Oh, boy! 298 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,538 I'll be sure to tell the pastor. Goodbye. 299 00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,210 That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo. 300 00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:56,421 Okay. Who's next? 301 00:13:58,006 --> 00:13:59,508 Wendy and Bill Mackenzie. 302 00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:01,426 Of Mackenzie Chevrolet? 303 00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:03,846 Now those are what we call "deep pockets." 304 00:14:04,805 --> 00:14:08,267 Pat here, double the ten, and split the aces. 305 00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:09,351 Connie. 306 00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:12,521 I found an old-fashioned malt shop where we can 307 00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:15,649 have milkshakes and listen to the jukebox, 308 00:14:15,816 --> 00:14:17,317 like I never did in high school. 309 00:14:17,609 --> 00:14:19,111 Yeah, great. Not now, John. 310 00:14:19,570 --> 00:14:22,406 Okay, well, I was just hoping we could do something together. 311 00:14:22,573 --> 00:14:25,617 For God's sake, John. I'm getting my ass kicked here! 312 00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:28,120 I'm sorry. 313 00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:35,961 Oh, Felicia, you're killing me. 314 00:14:38,213 --> 00:14:39,756 Chip me another deuce. 315 00:14:48,473 --> 00:14:49,474 Hello? 316 00:14:50,225 --> 00:14:51,226 Selena? 317 00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:55,022 Ooh. Big TV, fancy. 318 00:15:05,157 --> 00:15:07,409 "Con amor, Selena." 319 00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:09,202 Which means? 320 00:15:09,494 --> 00:15:13,206 "Life is too short to be married to a loser. 321 00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,250 I'm leaving you. 322 00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:17,210 Love, Selena." 323 00:15:18,295 --> 00:15:19,463 "Love, Selena"? 324 00:15:19,630 --> 00:15:21,840 Well, that's kind of a mixed message. 325 00:15:22,299 --> 00:15:23,467 Yeah. 326 00:15:28,096 --> 00:15:30,641 Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. 327 00:15:31,016 --> 00:15:32,768 But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up 328 00:15:32,935 --> 00:15:34,478 for a thousand dollars. 329 00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:38,982 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 330 00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:41,693 Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. 331 00:15:42,069 --> 00:15:43,820 And of course, I don't need to remind you, 332 00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:45,948 it's entirely tax deductible. 333 00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,411 And at the next pancake breakfast, 334 00:15:51,578 --> 00:15:53,038 you can hold your head high. 335 00:15:55,248 --> 00:15:57,167 Thank you. That's very generous. 336 00:15:57,459 --> 00:15:58,460 Goodbye. 337 00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:02,381 The pancake line closed it. 338 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,466 We are so going to heaven. 339 00:16:05,092 --> 00:16:07,344 I don't understand why God would tell me to go home 340 00:16:07,511 --> 00:16:09,096 just to find out my wife left me. 341 00:16:09,388 --> 00:16:11,431 Not that he needs me to defend him, 342 00:16:11,598 --> 00:16:14,309 but in God's defense, he didn't say she'd be there. 343 00:16:15,686 --> 00:16:18,188 Mary, I hate to say this, but I think it's time 344 00:16:18,355 --> 00:16:19,398 for me to move on. 345 00:16:19,606 --> 00:16:21,483 I thought even as a teenager, I'd been called 346 00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:24,903 to preach the word of God, but maybe that was just my ego. 347 00:16:25,404 --> 00:16:27,030 Maybe I'm not meant to do this. 348 00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:31,201 - Don't say that. You're a great preacher. - Thank you. 349 00:16:31,368 --> 00:16:33,954 But it's clear. I need to trod a new path. 350 00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:37,416 Well, what would you do, trodding-wise? 351 00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:38,834 I don't know. 352 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:42,004 Maybe work with my hands amongst men, on an oil rig, 353 00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:43,296 or a fishing trawler. 354 00:16:44,923 --> 00:16:46,717 I also know how to blow glass. 355 00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:49,469 I could turn a pretty penny at swap meets. 356 00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:53,807 - Those all sound like solid options. - Mm-hmm. 357 00:16:54,099 --> 00:16:55,976 Oh, red light, red light! 358 00:17:08,155 --> 00:17:09,448 Oh, phooey. 359 00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:11,491 Tell you what, Jody. 360 00:17:11,658 --> 00:17:14,327 Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, 361 00:17:14,494 --> 00:17:16,163 and see how much is in his wallet? 362 00:17:17,247 --> 00:17:20,709 Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God. 363 00:17:20,876 --> 00:17:24,004 - What are y'all up to? - Just helping Mom with some church work. 364 00:17:24,838 --> 00:17:26,840 Well, aren't you two great kids. 365 00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:28,425 We like to think so. 366 00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:32,929 Really? That much? 367 00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:46,777 I think I need to apologize. 368 00:17:47,527 --> 00:17:49,905 - I know you do. - I'm very sorry. 369 00:17:50,322 --> 00:17:51,962 Sometimes when things aren't going my way, 370 00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:53,450 I just get a little cranky. 371 00:17:54,201 --> 00:17:56,286 - May I ask you a personal question? - Sure. 372 00:17:56,995 --> 00:17:59,831 Does your gambling constitute a problem? 373 00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:03,835 Not today. Bam! 374 00:18:05,504 --> 00:18:07,255 Come on. Let me take you out to dinner. 375 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,426 Don't forget that you promised Sheldon 376 00:18:11,593 --> 00:18:13,303 if you won, you'd donate to the church. 377 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,347 You want to see me get cranky again? 378 00:18:15,764 --> 00:18:18,934 - No, I don't. - Well, let's go strap on some bibs and eat lobster. 379 00:18:19,101 --> 00:18:20,143 Whoa! 380 00:18:20,936 --> 00:18:22,979 So you're over at First Baptist Church, huh? 381 00:18:23,146 --> 00:18:24,231 Yes, Officer. 382 00:18:24,397 --> 00:18:25,732 I'm new in this area. 383 00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:27,099 I've been looking for a church. 384 00:18:27,943 --> 00:18:30,612 Well, you're in luck. It's a wonderful congregation, 385 00:18:30,779 --> 00:18:33,365 and this man right here is our beloved pastor. 386 00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:36,952 Oh. Are you his wife? 387 00:18:37,244 --> 00:18:40,330 Oh, no, I'm church secretary. He's actually single. 388 00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:42,707 - Well, technically... - He's single. 389 00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:46,336 Well, I'll try to come by sometime. 390 00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,463 Tomorrow's Sunday. He'll be speaking. 391 00:18:48,964 --> 00:18:51,424 All right. Maybe I'll see y'all tomorrow. 392 00:18:54,136 --> 00:18:55,929 You have a nice day. 393 00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:57,916 Aren't you gonna give me a ticket? 394 00:18:59,683 --> 00:19:00,684 Do you want a ticket? 395 00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:03,103 He does not. Thank you, Officer. 396 00:19:07,858 --> 00:19:09,860 - Pastor? - Yeah? 397 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,760 You were saying you don't understand 398 00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:14,990 why God told you to go home. You get it now? 399 00:19:15,448 --> 00:19:16,449 Think I do. 400 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:23,331 Welcome, church. 401 00:19:23,498 --> 00:19:26,668 I pray you all had a blessed and prosperous week. 402 00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:29,921 I'm excited to share with you 403 00:19:30,088 --> 00:19:33,175 what the Lord put on my heart for today. 404 00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:35,093 I'm surprised you're here this morning. 405 00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:37,637 Hey. I got to support my pal. 406 00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:40,557 The renewal of faith is something that happens 407 00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:42,350 over and over. 408 00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:46,271 - When you have faith... - You need to move fast, Officer. 409 00:19:46,438 --> 00:19:48,356 He's not gonna be on the market for long. 410 00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:50,859 - Roger that. - For so many months, 411 00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:53,278 our little parish has been struggling financially. 412 00:19:53,445 --> 00:19:55,822 But by the grace of God and his provision, 413 00:19:56,031 --> 00:19:59,910 we have received the most donations in church history! 414 00:20:00,785 --> 00:20:01,828 Praise Jesus! 415 00:20:01,995 --> 00:20:04,956 Praise Jesus! 416 00:20:05,457 --> 00:20:07,751 So it's all Jesus? We don't get any credit? 417 00:20:08,126 --> 00:20:10,795 - We need to start our own church. - They don't pay taxes. 418 00:20:10,962 --> 00:20:12,505 It's a very sound business model. 419 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,634 Say amen when you get there, huh?