1 00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:59,978 - Afternoon, Dr. Sparrow. - Afternoon, Charlie. 2 00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:03,257 - Hello, Sparrow. - Afternoon, Bingham. 3 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:07,732 Busy afternoon. I've got two septic fingers, 4 00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,095 a lipoma and four warts already. 5 00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:13,536 - Congratulations. - It's great experience. 6 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:17,930 I say, you don't mind my mentioning it, do you? 7 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:22,332 But that discussion we had yesterday about the treatment of herpes, 8 00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:25,696 you were wrong, you know. I looked it up. 9 00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:28,169 Thank you. 10 00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:30,615 Just thought I'd tell you. 11 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:34,693 I say, old boy, about that Senior House Surgeon's job. 12 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,133 Yes? 13 00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:39,257 - It's between you and me, you know. - Yes, I know. 14 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:42,218 Well, may the best man win and all that. 15 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,450 That's right. 16 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,737 - Good afternoon, Nurse. - Hello, Dr. Bingham. 17 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,698 - Good afternoon, Dr. Sparrow. - Good afternoon. 18 00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:52,816 Did you enjoy the dance last night? 19 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,130 - Yes. Did you? - Mmm. Parts of it. 20 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:58,690 We found your pipe down a settee. I've kept it for you. 21 00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:03,058 Good girl. I'm lost without it. Well, the mixture as before, eh? 22 00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:16,371 Get your wretched garbage van out of the way, man! 23 00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:20,533 Hey! You there! You can't park that thing here. 24 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:24,454 - Why not? Says "car park". - This place is reserved for me. 25 00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:27,976 - Has been for 20 years. - There's room beside it. 26 00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:30,528 I don't want garbage on my coachwork. 27 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,576 Yes, you've got a point there. 28 00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:35,976 OK, you can move it. 29 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:39,896 Where shall I go, Lancelot? 30 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:43,336 Over there, Charles. I'll be with you soon to fix you up. 31 00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:44,773 Thank you. 32 00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:53,249 That fractured radius needs re-plastering tomorrow. 33 00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:57,652 Oh, I shan't be here, Doctor. I'm on night duty in the wards. 34 00:03:57,740 --> 00:04:00,095 Oh, that is a pity. 35 00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:02,774 - That's you done. - Thank you, Doctor. 36 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:07,615 Now, you know what to do next time you lean out of the window? 37 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:12,251 - What's that, Doc? - Open it first. Off you go. 38 00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:15,218 - What ward have they moved you to? - Charity. 39 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,450 Visitors welcome at supper time? 40 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:21,579 - A doctor's got to do his rounds. - He certainly has. 41 00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:24,730 Next, please. 42 00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:31,093 Good afternoon. What's wrong with you? 43 00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:35,059 One of your blokes nabbed me in the street. Told me to come. 44 00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:38,655 Really? Yeah, looks like a cyst. 45 00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:41,538 Whatever it is, it's been there a long time. 46 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:46,535 Has it? Yes, they can be nasty. We'd better cut it out, I think. 47 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,930 Here. Sit down. Sebaceous cyst removal, Nurse. 48 00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,978 - I say, Sparrow. That's my cyst. - Oh, is it? 49 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,290 I've been looking forward to that. 50 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,053 Never mind. There are plenty more. 51 00:04:58,140 --> 00:05:00,859 That's not the point. This is my patient. 52 00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:03,977 It's not ethical pinching people's patients. 53 00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:08,497 It's not ethical to prowl around garbage cans touting for custom. 54 00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:12,175 - I don't like your tone. - Tell the General Medical Council. 55 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:16,492 - Well, really, I must say... - I don't mind who has the cyst 56 00:05:16,580 --> 00:05:19,617 but I've got to get back to the dustbins at once. 57 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:23,852 I'm handing you to Dr. Bingham. Apparently, he spotted you first. 58 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,056 Prepare for the excision, Nurse. 59 00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:29,450 And see that your ethics are sterilized, as well. 60 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:37,970 - Hey, we take our turn, you know. - What? Oh, er... 61 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:41,894 - We've been waiting half an hour. - Who does he think he is? 62 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:45,097 - Oh, forgive me. I was told... - Wait your turn. 63 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:48,297 That's enough. I saw you sneaking down the row. 64 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:52,168 You won't bleed to death with that. Where's your treatment card? 65 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,615 Card? I'm sorry but what card? 66 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:57,612 There's a board inside the door. Can't you read? 67 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,975 - I can explain... - No explanations, pop. 68 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,699 - Get home and get your card. - What's going on? 69 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,896 - Are you in trouble, Charles? - Yes. 70 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:09,417 This young man has been behaving extremely rudely. He called me "pop". 71 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,456 - Who are you? - Sparrow, sir. 72 00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:15,294 Let me introduce you. Dr. Sparrow, Sir Charles Hopcroft, 73 00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:17,371 a governor of this hospital. 74 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,896 Sir Charles cut his finger at luncheon. I am suturing it. 75 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,778 I'm terribly sorry, sir. I didn't realize. 76 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:27,739 Aren't you in the running for Senior House Surgeon? 77 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,776 Yes, sir. 78 00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:34,336 What a good thing that I have some say in this matter. 79 00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:38,698 The impertinence! Never been called "pop" in my life before. 80 00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,418 Too bad, old man. 81 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,890 I'm afraid that's going to set you back quite a bit. 82 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,696 - Sparrow. - Good evening, Doctor. 83 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,736 - Evening, Padre. - Guinness? 84 00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:57,209 - Yeah. What are you drinking? - Pop. 85 00:06:57,300 --> 00:07:00,975 - Don't mention pop to me again. - It steadies the nerves. 86 00:07:01,060 --> 00:07:04,814 - Final exams tomorrow. - You'll pass this time, Mr. Benskin. 87 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:08,131 It'll be grand to have you both as doctors. 88 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:10,495 I'm filled with quiet confidence. 89 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:13,413 I'm ambitious. I want to be a surgeon, too. 90 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,970 - Well, I'm not getting very far. - You're depressed. 91 00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:20,530 You want an exquisite creature to smooth your brow. 92 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:25,851 - Where's Joy? - I haven't seen her since Tuesday. 93 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:28,932 Anyway, she needs somebody to smooth her own brow. 94 00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:31,659 - What's the matter? - All this swotting. 95 00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:35,858 Why she suddenly wants to be a doctor, heaven alone knows. 96 00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:38,500 - Hello. - Joy, my love. 97 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:41,094 Come and sit down. Simon's depressed. 98 00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:43,171 Are you? So am I. 99 00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:45,854 - Smooth his brow. - Can it be mutual? 100 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:49,489 What did I tell you? You need a large gin and tonic. 101 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,332 Thanks. 102 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,456 What's he so depressed about? 103 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,496 Move over. 104 00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:01,449 - He feels he's not getting along. - He's not the only one. 105 00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:05,613 - That'll be four and four. - Trust me till Friday? 106 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:12,451 - One large gin and tonic. - Thanks. 107 00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,496 You should relax, Joy. 108 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:17,890 It's trying to relax that makes me so jittery. Cheers. 109 00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:22,610 I'll tell you what. We'll go back to your place and I'll treat you. 110 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,656 I've been reading it up. 111 00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:28,335 Excuse me. 112 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:36,453 Now, don't be frightened. I'm just going to put you to sleep 113 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:38,974 and whisper some encouraging words. 114 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,938 When you wake, you'll be bursting with confidence. 115 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,454 If that's all you whisper. I know you. 116 00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:48,533 Ooh! Ooh! Disgusting! 117 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,497 Now, look at me. 118 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,178 Look, I must have absolute quiet. 119 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:58,696 Go on. Go home. Go home. Go on. 120 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:03,091 Now, look into my eyes... 121 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:06,536 both eyes... and concentrate. 122 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:10,373 Your left leg is feeling very heavy. 123 00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,928 Your right leg is feeling very heavy. 124 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,296 Now, concentrate. 125 00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:19,099 - Shut up! - Give him a biscuit, Simon. 126 00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:21,136 In the cupboard. 127 00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:25,379 Joy, you've got to concentrate. Cooperate. 128 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:29,612 Now you're feeling very sleepy. You're going to sleep. 129 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:33,534 Here you are. 130 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:38,614 You're going to sleep. Relax... Relax... 131 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,770 Just a minute. 132 00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:43,693 - Sorry. - Joy, you're just not cooperating. 133 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:48,217 - L-I'm awfully sorry, Tony. - Now. You're feeling sleepy. 134 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:51,053 You're going to sleep. Now, relax... 135 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,899 Relax... 136 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,778 You're going to sleep. 137 00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,771 Simon! 138 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,814 Look! 139 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,697 Hey, Tony? 140 00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:10,611 Ton...? 141 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:14,659 Come on, wake up. You've got an exam tomorrow. 142 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,812 Come on. Oh, give it here. 143 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:30,051 Hello, you gorgeous creature. Hello. 144 00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:32,415 Muffin, my dear fellow. 145 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,617 - Hello, you two. - Hello, Joy. 146 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:39,329 Heaven knows what you look like. What have you done? 147 00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:41,376 - You mean the glasses? - Mmm. 148 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:45,897 Well, I think they like girls to look more serious, intellectual. 149 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,778 I think it gives you more chance of passing. 150 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:52,136 - But you don't wear glasses. - But they're plain glass. 151 00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:53,733 Aren't they effective? 152 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,937 - If you want to look like a frog. - Honestly, Simon! 153 00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,409 Come on. Off to the chopping block. 154 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,775 - I'll hold my thumbs. - Thanks. 155 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:05,773 That, sir, was removed post-mortem from a man of 70. 156 00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:08,169 What do you find of interest in it? 157 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:15,056 - It's a brain, sir. - It is indeed. Well? 158 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:20,937 I notice only the usual senile changes, sir. 159 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,978 You say these changes are not unusual? 160 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:27,416 No, sir. After all, the patient was senile. 161 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:30,458 Dash it, he was 70, practically ga-ga. 162 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:34,692 Hmm... I shall be 76 myself next birthday. 163 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:39,455 Thank you for reminding me that I'm well past my job. 164 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,576 - Good morning, sir. - Sir, I... 165 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,616 Good morning. 166 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:47,499 - Good morning. - Oh! 167 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,810 Come in. 168 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:56,698 - Oh, a female. - Yes. 169 00:11:56,780 --> 00:12:00,819 Well, you appear more intelligent than most of them, I must say. 170 00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:04,097 Doctoring and lipstick don't mix together. 171 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:08,131 Now, come here and tell me what you can see there. 172 00:12:12,580 --> 00:12:14,775 Well? Well? 173 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:19,732 Hmm? Hmm? 174 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,539 - Blood dyscrasia? - That's right. 175 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:25,576 Now, come along. Come over here. 176 00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:28,015 Come on. 177 00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:33,775 I've very little time, girl. Come on. 178 00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:38,210 - Yes, sir. - Oh, get my glasses from the table. 179 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:46,570 - Come along. We haven't got all day. - Yes, sir. 180 00:12:52,180 --> 00:12:54,694 Could I have my glasses, please? 181 00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:57,340 Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. 182 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:03,290 Appearances can be very deceptive, can't they? 183 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:07,219 Good morning. Send in the next student. 184 00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:13,291 What are you worried about? It's a piece of cake. 185 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,336 Come! 186 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:23,736 Good morning, sir. I don't want any inane remarks. 187 00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:26,573 I've got a touch of the gout this morning. 188 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:29,652 - I've seen you before, haven't I? - Yes, sir. 189 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:34,655 - A good doctor never forgets a face. - That isn't limited to faces, sir. 190 00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:39,890 What would you do if you found me flat on the floor? 191 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,653 - Send for a doctor, sir. - You are a doctor, man! 192 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:45,413 Sorry, sir. That's quite right. 193 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,333 Erm... Are you snoring, sir? 194 00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:52,811 - I'm breathing heavily. - Then, I'd tiptoe out again. 195 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:56,939 - People don't sleep on the floor. - After a strenuous evening... 196 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:59,250 Never mind that. I'm not asleep. 197 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:04,897 - Are you dead, sir? - I don't know, I'm asking you! 198 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:08,689 - Oh. - You wouldn't ring an undertaker? 199 00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:13,217 No, of course not, sir. I'd examine you. Feel your heart. 200 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:17,009 - I'm lying on my stomach. - Are you indeed, sir? 201 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,176 Quite a problem. 202 00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:24,014 - Feel your pulse? - My pulse is fine 203 00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,170 and I've got no broken bones. 204 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:30,048 I am relieved, sir. Then, I would cover you with a blanket 205 00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:32,096 and send for an ambulance. 206 00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:36,093 And leave me on this cold floor with my backside full of splinters, 207 00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:38,694 covered with a rug the cat's had kittens on? 208 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:42,614 I should ruddy well think so! You'd pick me up, wouldn't you? 209 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,895 We'd both end up on the floor, sir. 210 00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:48,416 Try and pick me up. They teach you that in the Boy Scouts. 211 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:52,379 This isn't the type of picking up I'm good at. I wasn't in the Scouts. 212 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,815 Well, have a go. See what you can do. 213 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,458 Yes, sir. 214 00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,770 Come on, man. Get on with it. 215 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:03,055 - Oh! - Sorry, sir. 216 00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:10,138 Ah! 217 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:13,292 What's happened? Has Sir Lancelot passed out? 218 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,371 Sir Lancelot has not passed out. 219 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:18,452 And neither, indeed, will you, young man. 220 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:25,256 Oh, forget it. Everyone fails an exam sometime. 221 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:28,013 Put that egg away and we'll go have a meal. 222 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,852 I've got to work. 223 00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,818 - But you can't work every evening. - I must. 224 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:37,530 - You're not very sociable, Joy. - I'm sorry. This is important to me. 225 00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:40,817 - Surely you can understand that? - Yes, I do, but... 226 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:45,212 - Well, it's dull for your chums. - I can't help it. 227 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,098 Let's catch the second house at the Palladium. 228 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:50,569 I've got to work, I tell you. You go. 229 00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:54,539 Or drop in on someone who's got more time to be sociable. 230 00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,134 All right. I will. 231 00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:06,378 Oh! 232 00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:12,499 - Good evening, Nurse Macpherson. - Good evening, Doctor. 233 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:15,936 I took the liberty of bringing you some eggs and bacon. 234 00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:17,976 Ooh! That sounds good. 235 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,449 - How are the patients? - All tucked up. 236 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:22,531 - And how are you? - Lonely. 237 00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:25,498 That's what I thought. That's why I came. 238 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:28,048 It's a very lonely job being night nurse. 239 00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:31,530 - What's this? - Charlie Bingham's. He looked in. 240 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,576 Oh, he did, did he? 241 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,539 What can you see in a drip like Charlie Bingham? What's he got? 242 00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:41,010 Charlie's all right. He takes me to the Corner House. 243 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,536 - The Corner House! - That's more than some doctors do. 244 00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,817 I was wondering if you'd like dinner in the country 245 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:49,856 when you've got a night off? 246 00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:53,137 I've been told of a place where the food is excellent. 247 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,212 How do we go? By bus? Hand me another egg. 248 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,656 - By bus! By car. - Oh, you run a car, do you? 249 00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:03,528 - Yes, of course. - Well, thanks. Could be great fun. 250 00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:07,536 Pull out the choke. 251 00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:14,575 That was the horn, Nan, dear. The choke's on the right. 252 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,136 Move over. 253 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,052 Oh! 254 00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,170 Are you wet? 255 00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:39,295 Just outside. I could do with a drink. 256 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:42,895 Well, come on, let's go! What are you waiting for? 257 00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:49,659 It's still pouring down. It'll be murder getting home. 258 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:57,535 Nan, what would your reaction be to, er... making a night of it? 259 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:04,849 We could, er... have a drink and then some food, then another drink. 260 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,773 - I'm famished. - That's what I mean. 261 00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:13,412 If we go on to this place, it might make us late driving back to London. 262 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:18,255 I'm sure they could put us up for the night, if it's all right with you. 263 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:21,855 Well, if the food's as good as you say, let's go. 264 00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:25,979 I expect I can borrow a toothbrush from someone. 265 00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,812 Yes. 266 00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:50,572 Cozy place. 267 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:52,776 Well, we are in the country. 268 00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:55,818 We seem to be in a game reserve. 269 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,652 Yes. 270 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:17,293 Does this remind you of the Marie Celeste? 271 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:20,213 Well, it's a sleepy part of the world. Oh, Nan... 272 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:22,293 Yes? 273 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,894 - We want accommodation, please. - Yes. 274 00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:28,097 - Just for tonight. You have some? - Yes. 275 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:30,694 - Will you sign the book, please? - Yes. 276 00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:33,010 What name is it? 277 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,658 Phillimore. 278 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:43,810 Thank you. 279 00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,770 Which of you is Sparrow? 280 00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:50,135 - What? - You've signed "Sparrow". 281 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:53,530 Oh, yes. That's me, of course. 282 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:57,579 This is Miss Phillimore. We shall require two rooms. 283 00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,969 I should hope so. 284 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,055 Will the lady please sign the book? 285 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:06,375 Thank you. 286 00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:11,580 We're going up north to our uncle's funeral. We're cousins. 287 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:14,811 He was in the brass business. Charming old fellow. 288 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,652 Ernest? 289 00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:18,970 The luggage. 290 00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:25,139 The lady will be in No. 3 and the gentleman in No. 92. 291 00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,577 Miss Phillimore and I are cousins. 292 00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:35,335 We going up to an uncle's funeral... in the North. 293 00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:38,969 He was in the brass business. 294 00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:43,809 - Charming old fellow. - 92's up here. 295 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:59,488 Thank you. I'll ring if I want anything. 296 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:02,811 Ring your heart out. The bell's bust. 297 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,457 Oh, Lord! 298 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,334 Your thumb! Do you mind? 299 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:37,136 Well, now, what's it to be? 300 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,810 Erm... Potage Du Barry, I suppose. 301 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,016 Oh, I wouldn't have any of that. 302 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:49,888 All right. Steamed plaice, pommes vapeurs and cabbage. 303 00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:52,255 Well, I wouldn't tell everybody 304 00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:55,810 but even the cats downstairs are refusing the fish. 305 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,500 The mutton, then. And two more whiskies. 306 00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:03,539 Right. I see from the register that you're from London. 307 00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:07,056 - What business would you be in now? - I'm a doctor. 308 00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:10,928 Oh, are you now, Doctor? Well, that's very interesting. 309 00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:13,773 I'm having trouble with me feet lately. 310 00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:15,851 I think the arches have dropped... 311 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:20,411 - We'd like some food now. - And some drink. 312 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,889 OK. 313 00:22:22,980 --> 00:22:27,371 Er, did I hear you're a medical man, sir? My name's Major Porter. 314 00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:31,055 May I introduce myself to your good self and your lady wife? 315 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:34,416 - I'm a lady, but no wife. - No, we're cousins. 316 00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:37,890 We have an uncle that's having a funeral tomorrow. 317 00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:40,653 - He was in the brass business. - Oh! 318 00:22:41,740 --> 00:22:45,130 Doctor, I'm sure my case would interest you. 319 00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:48,974 Now, at the age of five, I was given six months to live. 320 00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:52,132 Six months! Look at that! 321 00:23:32,340 --> 00:23:35,218 Anything I can do, Doctor Sparrow? 322 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,291 N- No. 323 00:23:38,420 --> 00:23:42,538 - I was looking for the bathroom. - There's one on your floor. 324 00:23:42,620 --> 00:23:44,895 Oh, is there? I didn't notice. 325 00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:49,690 It's marked "bath" in large letters. Opposite your room. 326 00:23:49,780 --> 00:23:51,532 Thank you. 327 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:14,731 Thanks ever so much. Done me a lot of good. 328 00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:16,890 You should see a doctor yourself. 329 00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:20,859 Yes, I'm going to get some of my own medicine. Rum and milk. 330 00:24:20,940 --> 00:24:23,454 - Good night, Mrs. Law. - Bye-bye, duck. 331 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:26,737 - Next, please. - Sir Lancelot left this for you, 332 00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:28,890 and may I say how sorry I am? 333 00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:32,336 But it always was best man win and all that. 334 00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:36,618 - What are you talking about? - I'm the new Senior House Surgeon. 335 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,691 We're just off to celebrate. 336 00:24:38,780 --> 00:24:42,978 Never mind. You'll do all right in general practice. Goodbye. 337 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:47,451 Good night, Dr. Sparrow. Sorry you caught such a nasty cold. 338 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:53,096 What's the matter? 339 00:24:53,180 --> 00:24:54,932 This. 340 00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:01,892 "Dr. Sparrow has been Casualty House Surgeon for three months, 341 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:06,815 "in which time he has performed his duties to his own satisfaction. 342 00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:09,016 "Signed, Lancelot Spratt. " 343 00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:11,056 Oh, dear. 344 00:25:11,140 --> 00:25:13,495 Has that pimple Bingham got the job? 345 00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:16,652 - Yeah. - The mean old so-and-so. 346 00:25:16,740 --> 00:25:18,935 - I'll get us a drink. - Thank you. 347 00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:22,979 - Simon? - Hmm? Oh, rum and milk. 348 00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:25,699 Rum and milk. 349 00:25:26,980 --> 00:25:29,494 I'm awfully sorry about this, Simon. 350 00:25:29,580 --> 00:25:32,174 Fancy missing a certainty like that. 351 00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:34,774 If you weren't so successful in that field, 352 00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:36,816 you wouldn't be in your position. 353 00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:40,891 Of course, Macpherson's an awfully sweet girl, 354 00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:43,414 - but she's really not your type. - No. 355 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:46,139 - A bit predatory? - Mmm. 356 00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:48,734 Gin and tonic, Scotch, and rum and milk. 357 00:25:48,820 --> 00:25:50,776 Simon, listen. 358 00:25:50,860 --> 00:25:55,536 "Positions open. Suitable for recently qualified practitioner. 359 00:25:55,620 --> 00:26:01,092 "Medical officer in luxury liner. Salary £2,000 per annum. In dollars. " 360 00:26:01,180 --> 00:26:04,616 I've come about the advertisements in the Medical Journal. 361 00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:08,136 I'll take the millionaire if I can. Otherwise, the cruise. 362 00:26:08,220 --> 00:26:11,337 Alas, Doctor, both vacancies are filled. 363 00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:14,412 - They only came out yesterday. - The rush was great. 364 00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:17,697 However, we have others. You wish to go abroad? 365 00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:21,011 - I don't mind, if there's sun. - I have just the place - 366 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,216 the Acropolis Oil Company in Iraq. 367 00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:27,578 A Greek concern, but respectable. The tour of duty is five years. 368 00:26:27,660 --> 00:26:29,696 I don't want as much sun as that. 369 00:26:29,780 --> 00:26:32,419 Are you a man of faith, Doctor? You look it. 370 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:34,491 A medical missionary in Siam. 371 00:26:34,580 --> 00:26:39,415 The remuneration is not very high but one gains one's reward in heaven. 372 00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:42,014 I prefer to gain mine a little earlier. 373 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:46,616 Have you any ordinary practices? General practice would be useful. 374 00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:50,488 Of course. I thought you wished to leave the country for some reason. 375 00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:53,697 - No. - Well, we have many practices. 376 00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:57,568 Now, here's just the thing. Semi-rural. In the Midlands. 377 00:26:57,660 --> 00:27:00,891 Assistant to Dr. Hatchet. I know him personally. 378 00:27:00,980 --> 00:27:05,212 A fine clinician. You'll learn a lot. All found, ten guineas a week. 379 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:07,336 Not to be sneezed at, eh, Doctor? 380 00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:10,810 It'll be gone by lunchtime, I guarantee. 381 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,414 - All right. I'll take it. - Very wise. 382 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:16,572 I'll give you the details. Can you sign this? 383 00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:18,696 It's just the usual commission. 384 00:27:18,780 --> 00:27:21,658 33% of your salary for the first year 385 00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:24,971 and five pounds for consultation... in cash. 386 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:29,656 We don't like to take it but the overheads, you know, Doctor... 387 00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:09,056 Er, Dr. Hatchet? I'm Dr. Sparrow. 388 00:28:09,140 --> 00:28:14,055 Fancy that. I said to the Doctor this morning, "He ain't coming. " 389 00:28:14,140 --> 00:28:17,974 He, er... ain't in yet but I'll show you your room. 390 00:28:23,420 --> 00:28:26,969 - You ain't half young. - I'm not exactly in the cradle. 391 00:28:27,060 --> 00:28:29,415 The Doctor's had some real old fogies. 392 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:33,175 There was Dr. Christmas. He must have been about 90. 393 00:28:33,260 --> 00:28:37,970 There was Dr. 0'Higgins, Dr. 0'Rourke, Dr. 0'Toole... Grandpas, they were. 394 00:28:38,060 --> 00:28:43,214 Before that, there was Dr. Solomons, Dr. Assiz, Dr. Wu... 395 00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:46,736 - Was he Chinese? - So he said. 396 00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:49,254 You've had rather a lot of assistants. 397 00:28:49,340 --> 00:28:51,854 Hundreds and hundreds of them. 398 00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:55,819 It's a bit chilly, this weather, but you can make it comfy. 399 00:28:57,660 --> 00:28:59,855 It's a home from home, I assure you. 400 00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:06,372 It's a bit hard, but you get used to it. 401 00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:09,293 You get a nice fug if you keep the window shut. 402 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:12,452 Dr. Wu used to burn incense and things. 403 00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:15,498 - You won't be doing that, will you? - Not often. 404 00:29:15,580 --> 00:29:19,209 The light's switched off at 11. You can bathe on Saturday. 405 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:22,053 - Doctor's orders. - Seems a bit mean. 406 00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:24,700 He does hold back a bit, I must say. 407 00:29:24,780 --> 00:29:26,736 Don't agree with it myself. 408 00:29:29,740 --> 00:29:35,610 Yes, well, I'm, er... I'm delighted to welcome you, Doctor. 409 00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:39,215 It's remarkably warm for this time of year, is it not? 410 00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:43,213 - Well, it's a bit cold after London. - Really? 411 00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:45,894 I always wear wool next to the skin. 412 00:29:45,980 --> 00:29:50,496 It's much healthier than breathing fumes of combustible gasses. 413 00:29:52,220 --> 00:29:55,098 - Is that your car outside? - Yes. 414 00:29:55,180 --> 00:29:59,173 Oh. I do my nearer visits on a bicycle, 415 00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:01,216 for the fresh air, you know. 416 00:30:01,980 --> 00:30:06,895 We could make an arrangement by which you had part use of it. 417 00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:10,655 I'd make the deduction from your salary, of course. 418 00:30:10,740 --> 00:30:14,050 Oh, now, you've met my wife, haven't you? 419 00:30:14,140 --> 00:30:17,337 - Your wife?! - Shall we sit down? 420 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:24,089 Pour the Doctor his tea, my dear. 421 00:30:24,180 --> 00:30:28,492 You do like it weak, don't you? Too much tannin is not good. 422 00:30:28,580 --> 00:30:31,856 - Thank you. - Take a sardine. 423 00:30:31,940 --> 00:30:34,977 I see there are exactly one and one third each. 424 00:30:35,060 --> 00:30:37,335 It's healthier not to be overloaded 425 00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:40,332 with a heavy meal last thing, don't you agree? 426 00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:42,376 Yes, I suppose so. 427 00:30:42,460 --> 00:30:45,054 Yes. Well, we'll discuss your duties 428 00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:48,735 and I'll show you the drug cupboard after supper. 429 00:30:50,260 --> 00:30:53,332 Shall we say grace, Jasmine, my dear? 430 00:30:58,980 --> 00:31:03,098 Perhaps you didn't know I was married, Dr. Sparrow. 431 00:31:03,180 --> 00:31:05,296 - No, I didn't. - Oh, yes. 432 00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:09,612 Yes, my wife used to be my housekeeper and er... 433 00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:12,089 Very attractive lady, don't you find? 434 00:31:12,180 --> 00:31:14,614 - Yes, indeed. - Yes. 435 00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:17,214 Yes. Well, now, your duties... 436 00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:21,737 You'll take morning and evening surgery and all night calls. 437 00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:27,055 This is the drug cupboard. And these are the drugs. 438 00:31:27,780 --> 00:31:29,930 And, er... what are all these? 439 00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:33,456 Those? They're samples. The drug houses send a great many. 440 00:31:33,540 --> 00:31:38,295 They're useful for private patients. They're a little source of income. 441 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,936 You make them pay for these? 442 00:31:41,020 --> 00:31:45,013 Certainly. Patients don't appreciate what they don't pay for. 443 00:31:49,260 --> 00:31:51,216 Good morning. 444 00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:54,292 - Good morning. - Bit young to be a doctor. 445 00:31:55,100 --> 00:31:57,694 First, please. 446 00:32:01,580 --> 00:32:06,574 Oh, hello, Doctor. I'm Mrs. Wilkins. How are you this nice, fine morning? 447 00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:09,220 I'm very well. I hope we find that you are. 448 00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:12,497 - Not so dusty. - Now, what's the trouble? 449 00:32:12,580 --> 00:32:15,413 Trouble, Doctor? There ain't no trouble. 450 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:19,379 - I mean, what are you here for? - To get me medicine, of course. 451 00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:23,499 - I see. What sort of medicine? - The red medicine, Doctor. 452 00:32:23,580 --> 00:32:25,616 - What do you take it for? - Wind. 453 00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:31,058 - Oh, you suffer from wind? - No. I haven't had wind for years. 454 00:32:31,140 --> 00:32:32,539 Oh. 455 00:32:32,620 --> 00:32:37,489 If you don't mind my suggesting, as a rule, the Ws are at the back. 456 00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:43,257 Yes. Right. Here we are. How long have you been taking this medicine? 457 00:32:43,340 --> 00:32:47,936 - Going on 15 years. - 15? 458 00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:51,535 Well, I'm afraid I shan't be able to give you any more. 459 00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,293 What? But I must have me medicine. 460 00:32:54,380 --> 00:32:56,450 You don't need it, dear. 461 00:32:56,540 --> 00:32:59,691 But I take me medicine regular three times a day. 462 00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:05,059 Control yourself. Doctors must cut down on unnecessary medicine. 463 00:33:05,140 --> 00:33:08,212 - I want me medicine. - Well, you can't have it. 464 00:33:08,300 --> 00:33:12,532 I want me medicine. I've got rights. I pay my National Health. 465 00:33:12,620 --> 00:33:15,418 You're a thief! That's what you are. 466 00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:17,456 Now, Mrs. Wilkins... 467 00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:23,979 - What's the matter, ducks? - He won't give me me medicine. 468 00:33:24,060 --> 00:33:28,815 Oh? All right. I'll handle this. You wait outside. 469 00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:32,654 Taking those shillings from people what can't afford it. 470 00:33:32,740 --> 00:33:37,609 I know what happens to them stamps. Lining the doctors' pockets. 471 00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:40,055 I want me medicine! 472 00:33:42,780 --> 00:33:45,010 - You've upset my wife. - I'm sorry. 473 00:33:45,100 --> 00:33:48,695 I can't give her more medicine. It's against regulations. 474 00:33:48,780 --> 00:33:54,457 Oh. Well, also in the regulations for the control and conduct of the NHS, 475 00:33:54,540 --> 00:33:57,896 it says that a patient what receives inefficient service 476 00:33:57,980 --> 00:34:00,369 can state a case before the Council, 477 00:34:00,460 --> 00:34:05,534 who, if necessary, shall deduct a fine from the doctor's remunerations. 478 00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:08,930 - Now, look, Mr. Wilkins... - Take it easy. 479 00:34:09,020 --> 00:34:13,969 It's nothing personal. I'm just stating regulations. I know them all. 480 00:34:14,060 --> 00:34:18,531 If you don't leave, you'll get a kick up the... coccyx. 481 00:34:18,620 --> 00:34:22,135 - Violence will get you nowhere. - Next, please. 482 00:34:28,540 --> 00:34:31,850 - Where's the doctor? - I am the doctor. 483 00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:36,092 - I mean, the real one. - I assure you, I'm perfectly real. 484 00:34:36,180 --> 00:34:39,297 Oh, you're Dr. Hatchet's new boy, I suppose. 485 00:34:39,380 --> 00:34:42,292 What were you doing with poor Mrs. Wilkins? 486 00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:44,336 What can I do for you? 487 00:34:44,420 --> 00:34:48,333 My Eva's chest, here. Cough, cough, cough all night, she does. 488 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:53,016 Really? I'd better examine her. Will she take off her cardigan? 489 00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:55,534 Do as he says, Eva. 490 00:34:56,820 --> 00:34:59,175 Thank you. 491 00:35:00,060 --> 00:35:04,133 - Now, big breaths, Eva. - Yeth and I'm only thixteen. 492 00:35:09,740 --> 00:35:13,289 My dear, I notice you've cooked four sausages. 493 00:35:13,380 --> 00:35:17,612 I did an extra one for the doctor. He looked a bit peaky. 494 00:35:17,700 --> 00:35:20,453 Indeed? 495 00:35:20,540 --> 00:35:22,974 The telephone, my dear. 496 00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:35,858 It's surprising the number of doctors that have sinned, isn't it? 497 00:35:35,940 --> 00:35:38,010 Sinned? 498 00:35:38,100 --> 00:35:40,250 Committed murder. 499 00:35:40,340 --> 00:35:42,649 There was Neil Cream, 500 00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:47,768 Palmer the Poisoner and... Crippen. 501 00:35:49,340 --> 00:35:53,856 And for a number of motives - jealousy among them. 502 00:35:53,940 --> 00:35:55,692 Yes, I suppose so. 503 00:35:55,780 --> 00:35:58,852 I often wonder how many murderers there must be 504 00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:01,932 who've never been detected in their crimes. 505 00:36:02,020 --> 00:36:04,136 Do you? 506 00:36:04,220 --> 00:36:07,769 Lf, indeed, it is a crime in some circumstances. 507 00:36:25,020 --> 00:36:26,931 Doctor? 508 00:36:31,780 --> 00:36:34,294 - Doctor? - Yes? Yes? 509 00:36:34,380 --> 00:36:38,009 There's a call. Urgent. I've left the message in the hall. 510 00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:40,250 Thanks very much. 511 00:36:42,220 --> 00:36:45,053 It's all right, Mrs. Hatchet. I can manage. 512 00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:02,012 Morning, Doctor. I've been waiting for you. 513 00:37:02,100 --> 00:37:05,172 - I hope this isn't a joke. - I never play jokes. 514 00:37:05,260 --> 00:37:07,569 Some say I've got no sense of humor. 515 00:37:07,660 --> 00:37:09,616 - Are you ill? - No, never ill. 516 00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:12,931 You'll never have to treat me. It's the wife. 517 00:37:13,020 --> 00:37:15,329 - What's the matter? - She's dying. 518 00:37:15,420 --> 00:37:17,650 Let's have a look at her. 519 00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:23,178 Well, it's very inconsiderate of him to insist on my coming now. 520 00:37:23,260 --> 00:37:26,172 I'm sure he could wait. I've a good mind not to go. 521 00:37:26,260 --> 00:37:28,649 You'd better. It's the bank manager. 522 00:37:28,740 --> 00:37:32,415 Yes, though what one keeps an assistant for, I don't know. 523 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,138 No, dear. 524 00:37:34,220 --> 00:37:38,133 Yes. Well, go back to sleep. I shall be away some time, I fear. 525 00:37:38,220 --> 00:37:40,176 What a shame. 526 00:37:42,740 --> 00:37:44,890 Goodbye, Hampton. 527 00:37:51,460 --> 00:37:54,611 - Nothing seems wrong. - She wants to go to hospital. 528 00:37:54,700 --> 00:37:58,215 - So does half the country. - I'm dying! 529 00:37:58,300 --> 00:38:01,770 - See? She should go to hospital. - You should go to jug, 530 00:38:01,860 --> 00:38:04,772 dragging a doctor out at this time for nothing. 531 00:38:04,860 --> 00:38:08,296 - Deliberately, I expect. - All right. Have it your way, 532 00:38:08,380 --> 00:38:12,339 - but I'm going to the Council. - You can go to UNO. 533 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:16,811 Very funny. But you'll be laughing out the other side of your face soon. 534 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:21,530 I'll be complaining first thing in the morning. I'll get you unfrocked! 535 00:38:21,620 --> 00:38:22,973 Good night. 536 00:38:23,060 --> 00:38:26,496 Call yourself a doctor? Well, doctor this! 537 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:32,810 - Jug's come to you. - You old bag! What are you doing? 538 00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:36,575 The Doctor's right. Dying, my foot. I'll have the law on you! 539 00:38:36,660 --> 00:38:39,299 Doctor, you'll be my witness, won't you? 540 00:38:51,260 --> 00:38:54,855 - Hello. - Oh, do go back to bed. 541 00:38:54,940 --> 00:38:57,738 He's out. He had to see the bank manager. 542 00:38:57,820 --> 00:39:01,256 - Go back to bed, anyway. - I can't sleep. I'm lonely. 543 00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:03,570 He'll be away for a long time. 544 00:39:03,660 --> 00:39:05,616 Would you like a cup of tea? 545 00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:09,215 - It's the middle of the night. - Aren't you ever lonely? 546 00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:12,451 - Yes, but not at the moment. - You are a spoilsport. 547 00:39:12,540 --> 00:39:16,328 Look, get me one of those sleeping pills from the cupboard. 548 00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:20,333 I love them. They make you feel all warm inside. 549 00:39:20,420 --> 00:39:23,856 Oh, all right. Well, you wait here for me, will you? 550 00:39:42,780 --> 00:39:44,896 - There you are. - Give me the box. 551 00:39:44,980 --> 00:39:47,938 - No, you can't... - You promised! Please! 552 00:39:53,740 --> 00:39:57,699 Your wife couldn't sleep. I was giving her a sedative. 553 00:39:59,220 --> 00:40:01,176 Good night. 554 00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:07,450 Cheer up, Mr. Benskin. This one's on the house. 555 00:40:07,540 --> 00:40:09,895 Ah, Padre, that's jolly nice of you. 556 00:40:09,980 --> 00:40:14,212 - You've failed examinations before. - This one's different. 557 00:40:14,300 --> 00:40:18,418 The old man has let me know that he's not going to go on staking me. 558 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:22,652 I've got to get a job. So, tomorrow, I set out for whatnots new, 559 00:40:22,740 --> 00:40:24,696 via the labor exchange. 560 00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:27,817 - Do you still want to be a doctor? - Of course. 561 00:40:27,900 --> 00:40:30,414 Er, a friend of mine told me that you... 562 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:34,049 - grant medical degrees here. - Oh, we do. 563 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,529 To your duties, Oona. 564 00:40:36,620 --> 00:40:39,737 - Could you grant me one? - Certainly. Delighted. 565 00:40:39,820 --> 00:40:43,699 - Come back after the weekend. - I'm from England, you see. 566 00:40:43,780 --> 00:40:46,738 Oh, well, that's different. Now, let me see. 567 00:40:46,820 --> 00:40:49,698 - The examination's only viva voce. - Eh? 568 00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:51,338 Oral, d'you know? 569 00:40:51,420 --> 00:40:54,935 - Ah, oui. Oui, oui. - Maybe we could do it in the taxi. 570 00:40:55,020 --> 00:40:57,170 Come on with me now. Taxi! 571 00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,656 Will you take my clubs? 572 00:41:03,460 --> 00:41:07,214 Up you get. To the golf course, Seamus. 573 00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:10,417 Now, then. Have you had any breakfast, Mr., er...? 574 00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:12,730 Benskin. No. 575 00:41:12,820 --> 00:41:16,369 Well, take a sup of this. It's nourishing. 576 00:41:18,540 --> 00:41:22,897 Now, then. The examination. Let me think. 577 00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:25,938 Er, what do you know about urea? 578 00:41:26,020 --> 00:41:28,932 The chemical substance or my lughole? 579 00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:31,136 Either. 580 00:41:31,220 --> 00:41:36,453 Well, urea is a soluble crystalline compound found in the human body. 581 00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:38,019 Right! 582 00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:40,660 - Really? - Well, I think so. 583 00:41:40,740 --> 00:41:43,300 - Good stuff, this. - Oh, it's the best. 584 00:41:43,380 --> 00:41:49,250 Now, next question. What do you know of fibrillation? 585 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:52,855 - Fibrillation? - Fibrillation. 586 00:41:52,940 --> 00:41:56,250 - It's a pretty word, isn't it? - Ah, it is that. 587 00:41:56,340 --> 00:42:00,049 - It's a bit of a nerve. - That's what we've all got! 588 00:42:00,140 --> 00:42:04,452 - Oh! Oh, very good. - I think I'll have some of that. 589 00:42:04,540 --> 00:42:06,929 It may improve my swing. 590 00:42:08,020 --> 00:42:12,730 Now, then. Next question... Ah, to blazes. You think of one. 591 00:42:13,980 --> 00:42:16,050 Well, now... 592 00:42:16,140 --> 00:42:20,770 I can think of plenty of questions. The answers are the problem. 593 00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:23,738 What do you do in that case, eh? 594 00:42:23,820 --> 00:42:27,972 - Well, that's quite a question. - Oh, that's a stiff one. 595 00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:31,496 Do you know what I'd do? Go and call a specialist. 596 00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:34,413 Full marks. Who'd object to that treatment? 597 00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:38,379 Make them work instead of sitting on their... Ah, here we are now. 598 00:42:38,460 --> 00:42:42,169 Congratulations. You've passed. That'll be 50 guineas. 599 00:42:42,260 --> 00:42:45,809 I was told it would be. Erm... 600 00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:48,539 Ah, thank you. I'll send your receipt, 601 00:42:48,620 --> 00:42:50,576 and, of course, your diploma. 602 00:42:50,660 --> 00:42:53,572 This is all quite legal, I suppose, isn't it? 603 00:42:53,660 --> 00:42:58,336 You couldn't be better qualified if you'd been to Trinity College. 604 00:43:15,060 --> 00:43:16,812 Hello. 605 00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:22,132 You don't look at all well. I'm a doctor. Can I help? 606 00:43:22,220 --> 00:43:25,178 - I'm very well. - Oh... 607 00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:27,774 Well, you look a little green. 608 00:43:27,860 --> 00:43:31,375 Not as green as all that... Doctor. 609 00:43:33,340 --> 00:43:37,015 I had those tactics tried on me the first time I crossed... 610 00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:39,330 back in the paddle boat era. 611 00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:42,696 Clumsy. I'm bound to say he got me in the end, though. 612 00:43:42,780 --> 00:43:45,294 In a loose box at the Dublin Horse Show. 613 00:43:45,380 --> 00:43:48,850 - Really? - Know anything about them? 614 00:43:48,940 --> 00:43:52,853 - Well, I flatter myself... - No, no. I mean horses. 615 00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:55,135 I've just been across buying some. 616 00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:58,610 - Oh? How many? - Oh, 20 or 30. I've forgotten. 617 00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:01,339 - Are you really a doctor? - Yes, I am. 618 00:44:01,420 --> 00:44:04,139 - Experienced? - Well, I, er... 619 00:44:04,220 --> 00:44:08,736 I'm looking for one. I sent my last to the knackers some months ago. 620 00:44:08,820 --> 00:44:12,733 Come and see me. Lady Howkins. Everybody knows me in Wiltshire. 621 00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:31,893 Now, I don't want any rubbish with stethoscopes and prodding. 622 00:44:31,980 --> 00:44:35,097 If I'm ill, I know what's wrong and what puts me right. 623 00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:38,217 All you have to do is sign the prescriptions. 624 00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:42,612 - You can read and write, I suppose? - Yes, I think so. 625 00:44:42,700 --> 00:44:45,578 Apart from that and taking the dogs for walks 626 00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:50,131 and dealing with emergencies amongst the staff, your time is your own. 627 00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:53,849 I'll give you a thousand a year and if you want any relief - 628 00:44:53,940 --> 00:44:56,010 and you look the type that would - 629 00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:59,137 there are plenty of pretty local girls. 630 00:44:59,220 --> 00:45:04,010 But confine your activities to the west wing and don't shock the cook. 631 00:45:04,100 --> 00:45:07,137 I always lost cooks when my husband was alive. 632 00:45:07,220 --> 00:45:10,178 Of course, one could replace them in those days. 633 00:45:10,260 --> 00:45:13,491 He's been dead 20 years, but not before collecting 634 00:45:13,580 --> 00:45:16,652 most of the diamond mines in South Africa. 635 00:45:16,740 --> 00:45:19,698 Well, do you want the job? 636 00:45:19,780 --> 00:45:23,250 - Yes, I do, indeed. - I'm as fit as a flea at the moment, 637 00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:25,296 and so are the staff. 638 00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:29,771 I may drop dead at any moment, but that'll just be bad luck on you. 639 00:45:29,860 --> 00:45:32,374 Ring the bell. We'll have champagne. 640 00:45:32,460 --> 00:45:35,054 I've a thirst like the Kalahari Desert. 641 00:45:36,140 --> 00:45:38,700 - Congratulations. - Who told you? Joy? 642 00:45:38,780 --> 00:45:41,340 - I'm delighted. - Thank you very much. 643 00:45:41,420 --> 00:45:44,935 - Bangers. The dog's had one. - I haven't got a frying pan. 644 00:45:45,020 --> 00:45:48,649 Oh, it doesn't matter. Just lay them out cold and operate. 645 00:45:48,740 --> 00:45:52,050 - I thought you were up north? - I was, but I resigned. 646 00:45:52,140 --> 00:45:55,530 - He's out of a job. - Nice to have me home, though. 647 00:45:55,620 --> 00:45:59,533 Trouble with the doctor's wife. You know the sort of thing. 648 00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:03,295 Oh, was there? They should be kept on a chain. 649 00:46:03,380 --> 00:46:05,132 Not too short, but a chain. 650 00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:07,654 That smells rather good. What is it? 651 00:46:07,740 --> 00:46:11,858 It said baked beans on the tin but they diagnosed it wrong. 652 00:46:13,180 --> 00:46:16,855 You had cornflakes for breakfast. Now, go away. 653 00:46:18,380 --> 00:46:20,450 I think these are stewed plums. 654 00:46:20,540 --> 00:46:22,895 Then, I'd cut down on the seasoning. 655 00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:24,936 - Emerald! - Mmm? 656 00:46:25,020 --> 00:46:29,616 A girl I met in an espresso bar. She's the receptionist to a doctor. 657 00:46:29,700 --> 00:46:33,659 His partner's sick and he's looking for a stand-in. Park Lane. 658 00:46:33,740 --> 00:46:36,618 - I'll call her. - No, Tony. I'm not the type. 659 00:46:36,700 --> 00:46:41,569 - I haven't got enough experience. - Don't worry. I'll glamorize you. 660 00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:44,128 I'll give you such a build-up. 661 00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:59,573 - Good afternoon. I'm Dr. Sparrow. - Oh, yes. Come in. 662 00:46:59,660 --> 00:47:02,732 I'm afraid he's busy. Would you mind waiting? 663 00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:05,015 No. No. 664 00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:08,573 Would you take a seat over there, please? 665 00:47:13,540 --> 00:47:17,169 Now, my dear, don't worry. You can ring me if you want to. 666 00:47:17,260 --> 00:47:20,696 Razzy, you're marvelous. I feel better already. 667 00:47:20,780 --> 00:47:22,736 Dr. Sparrow, Doctor. 668 00:47:22,820 --> 00:47:26,779 Oh, yes. I'll be with you in one minute, my dear fellow. 669 00:47:30,860 --> 00:47:34,409 - Hello, Dr. Sparrow. - How do you do? 670 00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:36,775 You'll forgive me turning you out? 671 00:47:36,860 --> 00:47:40,409 No, I won't, but it doesn't matter. I'll telephone. 672 00:47:46,100 --> 00:47:49,012 We'll go into the consulting room, shall we? 673 00:47:51,580 --> 00:47:54,652 - Exquisite creature, isn't she? - Charming. 674 00:47:54,740 --> 00:48:00,133 Very over... Very neurotic, though. Oh, well. All part of the grind. 675 00:48:00,220 --> 00:48:02,450 Do sit down, my dear man. 676 00:48:03,260 --> 00:48:06,730 It's so good of you to step into the breach like this. 677 00:48:06,820 --> 00:48:11,257 My partner slipped a disc, you know. It's a great bore for him. 678 00:48:11,340 --> 00:48:13,695 He'll be away three months, at least. 679 00:48:13,780 --> 00:48:17,136 Yes, I'm afraid he's bound to miss Ascot, poor chap. 680 00:48:17,220 --> 00:48:20,053 - Poor chap. - Trouble is, it's so difficult 681 00:48:20,140 --> 00:48:23,337 to find the right person to replace him. 682 00:48:23,420 --> 00:48:27,254 This is rather a special practice. The NHS is all very well, 683 00:48:27,340 --> 00:48:30,935 but some prefer manners with medicine, don't you find? 684 00:48:31,020 --> 00:48:34,012 - Yes, I do. - Smoke? Turkish or Virginia. 685 00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:35,852 Thank you. 686 00:48:35,940 --> 00:48:40,058 Of course, you've been out of the country for a while, haven't you? 687 00:48:40,140 --> 00:48:43,177 That Himalayan expedition sounds fascinating. 688 00:48:43,260 --> 00:48:47,299 What's-his-name told my secretary about it. You know... 689 00:48:47,380 --> 00:48:51,851 I can't help admitting I do find young doctors today terribly dull. 690 00:48:51,940 --> 00:48:55,057 They will treat their patients like guinea pigs. 691 00:48:55,140 --> 00:48:58,337 By the way, did you meet old Charrington out there? 692 00:48:58,420 --> 00:49:00,251 - No. - Oh, really? 693 00:49:00,340 --> 00:49:04,697 He's always shinning up mountains. Perhaps it's the Alps. 694 00:49:04,780 --> 00:49:08,659 Nice chap. His sister married one of those Austrian princes. 695 00:49:08,740 --> 00:49:11,334 I treated him for nervous prostration. 696 00:49:11,420 --> 00:49:14,492 Dr. Potter-Shine, I ought to tell you, really... 697 00:49:14,580 --> 00:49:17,458 Oh, my dear chap, that's quite all right. 698 00:49:17,540 --> 00:49:22,011 I don't want references. I pride myself on being a good judge of men. 699 00:49:22,100 --> 00:49:24,489 I wish I could say the same for horses. 700 00:49:24,580 --> 00:49:27,378 - We'll consider you engaged. - Thank you. 701 00:49:27,460 --> 00:49:31,248 If you, er... If you want any salary, ask my secretary. 702 00:49:31,340 --> 00:49:33,979 I was brought up never to discuss money. 703 00:49:34,060 --> 00:49:36,494 It's a little vulgar, don't you think? 704 00:49:36,580 --> 00:49:39,048 And, oh, er... forgive me... 705 00:49:39,140 --> 00:49:43,053 Perhaps you have something a little more formal to wear. 706 00:49:43,140 --> 00:49:45,574 I suppose you picked those up in Tibet? 707 00:49:45,660 --> 00:49:48,458 See my tailor and charge it to the practice. 708 00:49:48,540 --> 00:49:50,292 It's a chastening thought, 709 00:49:50,380 --> 00:49:54,851 but good clothes are more important to a GP than a good stethoscope. 710 00:50:11,420 --> 00:50:14,730 - Morning, Nurse. - Good morning. Razzy isn't in yet. 711 00:50:14,820 --> 00:50:18,733 - Who's Razzy? - The Doctor. It's short for Erasmus. 712 00:50:18,820 --> 00:50:24,099 And you needn't call me Nurse. It's a bit stiff. Emerald. 713 00:50:24,180 --> 00:50:27,252 - Aren't you a nurse? - I played one in the films once. 714 00:50:27,340 --> 00:50:31,652 Razzy wanted someone around who wasn't an old bag. He's very sweet. 715 00:50:31,740 --> 00:50:34,777 - I see. - Good morning, my dear fellow. 716 00:50:34,860 --> 00:50:37,499 That's very good. I like the trousers. 717 00:50:37,580 --> 00:50:39,775 Such a boring thing has happened. 718 00:50:39,860 --> 00:50:43,136 This is my day to visit old Skye and Lewes - the Duke. 719 00:50:43,220 --> 00:50:47,099 At the crack of dawn, some actress rings up with laryngitis. 720 00:50:47,180 --> 00:50:49,455 - What is one to do? - Can't she wait? 721 00:50:49,540 --> 00:50:52,373 My dear boy, in this practice, no one waits. 722 00:50:52,460 --> 00:50:55,258 I'll take the actress, the papers will be there. 723 00:50:55,340 --> 00:50:59,777 You do the Duke. Take the Rolls. Hold the fort, Emerald. 724 00:50:59,860 --> 00:51:03,819 - What's wrong with the Duke? - Just give him his usual treatment. 725 00:51:03,900 --> 00:51:09,577 - Well, what is his usual treatment? - I don't know, but here's his card. 726 00:51:09,660 --> 00:51:13,255 Twenty guineas a visit. That's all it says. 727 00:51:13,940 --> 00:51:17,216 - Dr. Sparrow, Your Grace. - Good morning, Doctor. 728 00:51:17,300 --> 00:51:21,293 Heard Potter-Shine couldn't come, but you know about the case. 729 00:51:21,380 --> 00:51:24,417 - Well, not everything. - Don't go into details. 730 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:27,572 - My blood pressure goes up. - We don't want that. 731 00:51:27,660 --> 00:51:30,538 I've had the horse moved by the window. 732 00:51:30,620 --> 00:51:32,815 - The horse? - Yes, it's sluggish. 733 00:51:32,900 --> 00:51:36,415 - Down in spirit or something. - It's indisposed? 734 00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:40,618 Well, come and have a look, will you? Draw the curtains. 735 00:51:40,700 --> 00:51:44,454 Oh, by the way, Doctor. I'm advised to get a camel. 736 00:51:44,540 --> 00:51:47,259 - Really? - They kneel down when you get on, 737 00:51:47,340 --> 00:51:49,900 and when you're on, they lie down. 738 00:51:49,980 --> 00:51:54,735 Come along. We haven't got any time to waste. Have you got your watch? 739 00:51:54,820 --> 00:51:56,776 - Yes. - Well, get it out. 740 00:51:56,860 --> 00:52:01,012 And start this thing up, will you? Dash it. Reins in the wrong place. 741 00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:03,250 - Start it up. - Where's the knob? 742 00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:06,412 There. It's somewhere there. That's good. 743 00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:11,699 Only, er... Only ten minutes. Not a moment longer than ten... ten... 744 00:52:11,780 --> 00:52:13,771 - Stop! Stop! - Stop? 745 00:52:13,860 --> 00:52:17,819 No good. No good. I'm going to get a... get a camel. 746 00:52:17,900 --> 00:52:21,779 Now... Put me down. Now you have a try. 747 00:52:21,860 --> 00:52:24,772 - Me? - That's what you're paid for, right? 748 00:52:24,860 --> 00:52:27,454 Well, get up and have a go. It won't hurt you. 749 00:52:27,540 --> 00:52:30,338 - You'll pay the damages? - Very good. 750 00:52:30,420 --> 00:52:34,493 I suppose you're charging the same outlandish fee as Shine? 751 00:52:34,580 --> 00:52:37,572 I never discuss money matters. They're vulgar. 752 00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:41,050 Well, yes. I still prefer a camel, you know, myself. 753 00:52:41,140 --> 00:52:44,450 Me, too. I'm not doing you any good up here. 754 00:52:44,540 --> 00:52:46,337 No. You're not doing any harm. 755 00:52:47,260 --> 00:52:50,730 Do you mind my slipping off? There are no appointments. 756 00:52:50,820 --> 00:52:54,654 No, off you go. Where's Razzy gone this afternoon? 757 00:52:54,740 --> 00:52:58,210 He's playing golf with some patient. Janet or Joanna. 758 00:52:58,300 --> 00:53:01,098 - He won't be back today. - Enjoy yourself. 759 00:53:01,180 --> 00:53:04,297 I'm going to an audition, actually. Bye-bye. 760 00:53:04,380 --> 00:53:06,371 Good luck. 761 00:53:17,580 --> 00:53:21,459 How do you do? I have an appointment with Dr. Potter-Shine. 762 00:53:21,540 --> 00:53:25,294 There must be some mistake. He's away. I'm his partner. 763 00:53:25,380 --> 00:53:27,655 My private secretary arranged it. 764 00:53:27,740 --> 00:53:31,096 - Oh, I'll just look in the book. - Thank you. 765 00:53:31,180 --> 00:53:34,570 - What's your name again? - The Maharajah of Branda. 766 00:53:34,660 --> 00:53:36,810 Oh, please... I beg your pardon. 767 00:53:38,580 --> 00:53:41,253 Ah. Your appointment's for next Friday. 768 00:53:41,340 --> 00:53:46,016 That foolish secretary. I'll be at the Venice Film Festival. 769 00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:50,059 Perhaps I might have a consultation with you. It's my back. 770 00:53:50,140 --> 00:53:54,213 I strained it on a tiger shoot. It's still rather painful. 771 00:53:54,300 --> 00:53:56,609 - A tiger shoot? - Mmm... Yes. 772 00:53:56,700 --> 00:54:00,534 - Really? I'll have a look at it. - Thank you so much. 773 00:54:00,700 --> 00:54:03,089 - Take your clothes off. - All of them? 774 00:54:03,180 --> 00:54:05,535 - Except... - I never take that off. 775 00:54:09,100 --> 00:54:12,615 - I want to see Razzy. - I'm sorry. He's not here. 776 00:54:12,700 --> 00:54:14,656 I have to see Razzy, I... 777 00:54:14,740 --> 00:54:17,573 - I think I'm going to die. - I don't think so. 778 00:54:17,660 --> 00:54:20,094 How would you know? Only Razzy knows. 779 00:54:20,180 --> 00:54:22,136 - You can't go in there. - Why not? 780 00:54:22,220 --> 00:54:25,610 - Because you can't. - He's in there. 781 00:54:25,700 --> 00:54:28,578 He doesn't want to see me. He's tired of me. 782 00:54:28,660 --> 00:54:31,458 I promise you. I have a patient in there. 783 00:54:31,540 --> 00:54:36,170 - I don't believe a word of it. - You can't go in there. 784 00:54:36,260 --> 00:54:39,252 All right. I'll get him out. 785 00:54:41,860 --> 00:54:44,613 - Control yourself. I beg you. - I want Razzy. 786 00:54:44,700 --> 00:54:46,691 I've told you, he's playing golf. 787 00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:50,056 Who with? That cat Joanna, I suppose. 788 00:54:50,140 --> 00:54:52,938 Yes, I believe so. 789 00:54:53,020 --> 00:54:55,773 - Don't be so ridiculous! - Oh! 790 00:54:55,860 --> 00:54:59,853 - You struck a woman! - Yes, I did. 791 00:54:59,940 --> 00:55:02,374 And I warn you, I'll do it again. 792 00:55:06,020 --> 00:55:10,457 Oh, please take me home. 793 00:55:13,020 --> 00:55:15,693 I can't... can't do that, really. 794 00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:20,768 - I'll get you a taxi. - No! No. Please take me home. 795 00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:25,570 I... I can't possibly face this alone. 796 00:55:25,660 --> 00:55:29,369 I... I have a half-naked patient in there. 797 00:55:31,060 --> 00:55:33,335 If you don't take me home, 798 00:55:33,420 --> 00:55:37,208 I shall sit on the pavement and scream until Razzy comes. 799 00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:39,450 - I wouldn't do that. - I would. 800 00:55:39,540 --> 00:55:42,418 In fact, I'll start now. 801 00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:45,810 All right. I'll take you home, but we must be quick. 802 00:55:45,900 --> 00:55:48,175 Er... Where do you live, please? 803 00:55:48,260 --> 00:55:51,730 I think you're sweet. It's quite close. 804 00:55:52,660 --> 00:55:54,252 Right. 805 00:55:57,700 --> 00:56:02,296 I'm afraid I made rather a fool of myself, getting worked up like that. 806 00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:06,976 It must have been the brandy. I'm sorry I clocked you one. 807 00:56:07,060 --> 00:56:09,369 Well, I started it, didn't I? 808 00:56:10,620 --> 00:56:15,455 It must be wonderful to be a doctor and cure people who are stricken. 809 00:56:16,820 --> 00:56:19,459 It has its rewarding moments. 810 00:56:19,540 --> 00:56:21,929 I think you're sweet. 811 00:56:22,020 --> 00:56:24,409 - Do you? - Mmm. 812 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:28,857 Can I have some more milk or do you think it would be bad for me? 813 00:56:28,940 --> 00:56:32,853 - I'll take your advice. - It would be very good for you. 814 00:56:40,540 --> 00:56:43,293 Hello? 815 00:56:43,380 --> 00:56:45,257 Emerald? 816 00:56:45,340 --> 00:56:48,855 Simon? Anybody at home? 817 00:56:56,100 --> 00:56:58,216 I beg your pardon. 818 00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:05,140 Excuse me. It's none of my business, but aren't you getting goose pimples? 819 00:57:06,220 --> 00:57:10,975 It's lovely to have someone hold your hand, sympathize with you, 820 00:57:11,060 --> 00:57:15,372 tell you you're wonderful, even if you're not really very ill. 821 00:57:15,460 --> 00:57:18,770 That's where Razzy's so marvelous. 822 00:57:18,860 --> 00:57:21,055 Have you ever noticed his eyes? 823 00:57:22,420 --> 00:57:24,092 No. 824 00:57:24,180 --> 00:57:27,809 They're hypnotic. Cruel and hypnotic. 825 00:57:29,580 --> 00:57:32,811 I'm afraid I can't aspire to those heights 826 00:57:32,900 --> 00:57:37,337 but I can sympathize with you, tell you that you're wonderful. 827 00:57:38,780 --> 00:57:42,898 Hmm... Yes, I... I really feel very much better. 828 00:57:44,060 --> 00:57:46,779 You're a very good doctor. 829 00:57:46,860 --> 00:57:48,896 I know a little, I think. 830 00:57:50,060 --> 00:57:52,369 I'm sure you do. 831 00:57:54,860 --> 00:58:01,095 You know, when you look at me like that, you look hypnotic, too. 832 00:58:03,740 --> 00:58:06,538 I don't feel hypnotic. 833 00:58:19,740 --> 00:58:25,212 I feel like a slave girl with a lovely, fierce oriental potentate. 834 00:58:26,540 --> 00:58:29,213 Oriental potentate... 835 00:58:31,660 --> 00:58:33,730 Crikey! 836 00:58:39,940 --> 00:58:43,489 - Tony! - Hello, my dear fellow. 837 00:58:43,580 --> 00:58:46,333 You haven't got a spiked mattress, have you? 838 00:58:46,420 --> 00:58:50,049 His Highness is giving me a few tips. Was that all right? 839 00:58:54,380 --> 00:58:57,770 - Ooh, you've been at the jam. - What? Oh... 840 00:59:00,900 --> 00:59:03,539 I'm so sorry we're parting, dear boy, 841 00:59:03,620 --> 00:59:07,249 but Willoughby swears he's fit enough to start work again, 842 00:59:07,340 --> 00:59:11,379 and I expect you're itching to get back to the Himalayas, eh? 843 00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:17,057 Razzy, you've been so good to me that I feel I must make a confession. 844 00:59:17,140 --> 00:59:21,418 The Himalayas story... it was a lie. 845 00:59:21,500 --> 00:59:24,298 Really? Oh, I am glad. 846 00:59:24,380 --> 00:59:28,214 Terribly cold and uncomfortable it must be for them up there. 847 00:59:28,300 --> 00:59:32,498 You've been a success here. All the neurotic women are in love with you. 848 00:59:32,580 --> 00:59:35,174 They must be in love with their doctor. 849 00:59:35,260 --> 00:59:38,013 Speaking frankly, it keeps them from suicide. 850 00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:41,536 One doesn't have to be in love with them, which is a relief. 851 00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:45,499 - What do you plan to do now? - I've got a job in the country. 852 00:59:45,580 --> 00:59:49,050 It won't be as much fun but I'll get some reading done. 853 00:59:49,140 --> 00:59:51,654 - I want to take up surgery. - Ah, yes. 854 00:59:51,740 --> 00:59:55,972 Fascinating subject, I think, if a little on the ghoulish side. 855 00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:58,813 Well, goodbye, dear boy, and good luck. 856 01:00:06,580 --> 01:00:10,937 Pull over, please. Pull over to the kerb. 857 01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:22,294 Are you the owner of this contraption? 858 01:00:22,380 --> 01:00:24,450 - What? - This conveyance? 859 01:00:24,540 --> 01:00:26,292 Yes, I am. 860 01:00:26,380 --> 01:00:30,009 You know there are regulations for vehicle road-worthiness? 861 01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:32,898 - Yes. - Has this one got efficient brakes? 862 01:00:32,980 --> 01:00:36,290 Absolutely wonderful. Brake on a postage stamp. 863 01:00:36,380 --> 01:00:40,419 We'll try a demonstration. Proceed at normal speed. I'll follow. 864 01:00:40,500 --> 01:00:43,333 When you hear my horn, apply your brakes. 865 01:00:43,420 --> 01:00:45,376 Let's go. 866 01:01:24,620 --> 01:01:28,772 I, er... I can give you a tow into Grantham, if you like. 867 01:01:35,580 --> 01:01:39,368 - How do you like these raspberries? - They're wonderful. 868 01:01:39,460 --> 01:01:43,453 Old Mrs. Crockett's lumbago produces them year after year. 869 01:01:43,540 --> 01:01:48,295 One of the advantages for an old man practicing in the back of beyond 870 01:01:48,380 --> 01:01:51,816 is that the patients are still inclined to pay in kind. 871 01:01:51,900 --> 01:01:55,131 The cream's the postmistress's prickly heat. More? 872 01:01:55,220 --> 01:01:57,654 - Thank you. - I hope you'll like it here. 873 01:01:57,740 --> 01:02:01,210 - I shall, I think. - A change after Harley Street. 874 01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:03,416 Not much bedside manner needed. 875 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:07,413 Half think they'll drop dead if they take their vests off. 876 01:02:19,500 --> 01:02:23,493 Here, mind you don't come down on top of them spikes. 877 01:02:23,580 --> 01:02:28,256 I'd a pig got caught in that greedy devil one time. Come out rashers. 878 01:02:48,300 --> 01:02:50,256 Well, what's wrong with you? 879 01:02:51,980 --> 01:02:55,859 He says he feels as if he's got rabbits running along his spine. 880 01:02:55,940 --> 01:02:59,376 - Rabbits? Do they hurt? - Like heck, they do. 881 01:02:59,460 --> 01:03:02,577 We'd better examine you. Take off your shirt. 882 01:03:02,660 --> 01:03:06,494 - What? All of them? - Oh, now, come along, Dad. 883 01:03:06,580 --> 01:03:09,140 - How's his appetite? - Lovely, Doctor. 884 01:03:09,220 --> 01:03:10,573 Good. 885 01:03:10,660 --> 01:03:13,413 He ain't half going to give Grandpa the works. 886 01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:17,095 Away you go, all of you. I'll scalp your wee lugs. 887 01:03:17,180 --> 01:03:20,377 - Wee horrors. - I can't find anything wrong. 888 01:03:20,460 --> 01:03:23,850 I'll send you some tablets to make him sleep. 889 01:03:23,940 --> 01:03:27,569 You're supposed to be a doctor. What about my rabbits? 890 01:03:27,660 --> 01:03:30,299 I suggest we put a ferret in after them. 891 01:03:30,380 --> 01:03:34,293 Old Ives, he's a villain. Did you use the thermometer? 892 01:03:34,380 --> 01:03:37,053 No, the only one I could find was broken. 893 01:03:37,140 --> 01:03:40,655 I'm afraid my equipment's not very up-to-date. 894 01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:42,696 Not entirely, no. 895 01:03:42,780 --> 01:03:46,170 If I can't tell if a patient's feverish by now, 896 01:03:46,260 --> 01:03:48,535 I'm not much of a doctor. 897 01:03:48,620 --> 01:03:53,535 But shove it under their tongues, anyway. You'll stop them talking. 898 01:03:53,620 --> 01:03:57,693 - I'll remember that. - You must let them talk sometimes. 899 01:03:57,780 --> 01:03:59,736 They need to. 900 01:03:59,820 --> 01:04:02,334 They don't like boring their friends, 901 01:04:02,420 --> 01:04:05,696 their relatives won't listen to them any more, 902 01:04:05,780 --> 01:04:07,736 they're nervy of the parson, 903 01:04:07,820 --> 01:04:11,733 so the doctor's the only one they can pour out their hearts to. 904 01:04:11,820 --> 01:04:16,177 Maybe I've got old-fashioned ideas but it seems to me part of the job. 905 01:04:16,260 --> 01:04:18,330 Perhaps the most important part. 906 01:04:18,420 --> 01:04:24,336 Yes, I agree with you. Hadn't thought of it like that before. 907 01:04:24,420 --> 01:04:26,376 Chap came in today, 908 01:04:26,460 --> 01:04:31,488 said he had a strong erotic sensation every time he blew his nose. 909 01:04:31,580 --> 01:04:35,095 Really? That's interesting. 910 01:04:35,180 --> 01:04:37,330 - What did you say? - Nothing much. 911 01:04:37,420 --> 01:04:40,651 I'm not up in psychiatry. What would you have said? 912 01:04:40,740 --> 01:04:43,812 I should have told him some people have all the luck. 913 01:04:44,740 --> 01:04:46,617 - Come in, Doctor. - Thank you. 914 01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:49,214 - Sit down, won't you? - How about you? 915 01:04:49,300 --> 01:04:52,098 I like standing up, if you don't mind. 916 01:04:52,180 --> 01:04:54,774 Well, what can I do for you? 917 01:04:54,860 --> 01:04:58,739 The fact is, Doctor, I had a little accident with my gun. 918 01:04:58,820 --> 01:05:01,539 Oh, I see. Got some shot in you, have you? 919 01:05:01,620 --> 01:05:03,770 - That's it. - Where? 920 01:05:03,860 --> 01:05:07,136 Where it makes me prefer standing up. 921 01:05:07,220 --> 01:05:11,179 Oh, I see. How on earth did you manage to shoot yourself there? 922 01:05:11,260 --> 01:05:16,288 Er, well, it was my dog. You see, I left my gun standing in the corner, 923 01:05:16,380 --> 01:05:20,055 and my old Bess got her paw on the trigger. 924 01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:23,536 I'd better have a look at it. 925 01:05:23,620 --> 01:05:26,134 - Go and lie down on your stomach. - Yes. 926 01:05:31,420 --> 01:05:34,492 - How does it feel now? - Much easier. Thank you. 927 01:05:34,580 --> 01:05:36,810 Excuse me a moment. 928 01:05:39,980 --> 01:05:43,609 Doctor, perhaps you'd care to accept that as a present? 929 01:05:43,700 --> 01:05:46,260 - I can't take that. - Take it, Doctor. 930 01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:49,537 Dr. Farquarson likes a bit of salmon with his supper. 931 01:05:49,620 --> 01:05:51,611 How have you enjoyed it here? 932 01:05:51,700 --> 01:05:53,895 Very much. I'm sorry to be leaving. 933 01:05:53,980 --> 01:05:56,335 It's changed and so have the people, 934 01:05:56,420 --> 01:06:00,572 thanks to the welfare state and education and bus routes and so on. 935 01:06:00,660 --> 01:06:03,618 They still like getting something for nothing. 936 01:06:03,700 --> 01:06:07,295 And they still come to my stretch of water and poach it, 937 01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:09,336 just as in Grandfather's day. 938 01:06:09,420 --> 01:06:12,696 They've not changed altogether. Open the wine. 939 01:06:12,780 --> 01:06:17,854 I was down by the river last night. Somebody's been getting at my fish. 940 01:06:17,940 --> 01:06:23,094 There was a fellow there on the bank, oh, with a big one. 941 01:06:24,180 --> 01:06:26,375 Then he saw me and he ran. 942 01:06:26,460 --> 01:06:28,655 I had my shotgun, so I loosed off. 943 01:06:28,740 --> 01:06:32,335 I must have peppered him but he didn't drop the fish. 944 01:06:32,420 --> 01:06:36,936 Damn it. If this goes on, I shan't get to eat my own fish any more. 945 01:06:37,020 --> 01:06:39,932 Give the Colonel some wine, will you, lad? 946 01:06:40,020 --> 01:06:41,976 Right up. 947 01:06:45,580 --> 01:06:49,334 - Sorry to be losing you. - I'm sorry to be going. 948 01:06:51,420 --> 01:06:54,730 Well, here we are again, back on the streets. 949 01:06:54,820 --> 01:06:58,017 Let's drink to it. Mind that. 950 01:06:58,100 --> 01:07:00,978 Thank you. What happened to your old lady? 951 01:07:01,060 --> 01:07:04,496 Oh, she's not with us any more, old boy. 952 01:07:04,580 --> 01:07:08,778 She took me to a race meeting. Chirpy as anything on the way there, 953 01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:12,933 but in the middle of slanging a bookie, she went, just like that. 954 01:07:13,020 --> 01:07:16,410 Heart. Still, it's the way she'd have liked to have gone. 955 01:07:16,500 --> 01:07:20,334 If anyone enjoyed life, she did. Bless her. 956 01:07:20,420 --> 01:07:22,456 And what now? 957 01:07:22,540 --> 01:07:26,135 I don't know. Something will turn up. What about you? 958 01:07:26,220 --> 01:07:28,609 I'd like to go back to the hospital. 959 01:07:28,700 --> 01:07:31,339 I've got to phone some solicitors. May I? 960 01:07:31,420 --> 01:07:33,092 Yes, of course. 961 01:07:33,180 --> 01:07:36,411 I suppose that blighter Bingham's still there? 962 01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:41,369 - Yes. He asked me out to supper. - Did you go? 963 01:07:41,460 --> 01:07:45,169 Fish cake and chips and a quiz on obstetrics? No thanks. 964 01:07:45,260 --> 01:07:50,971 - Mr. Wayland? Dr. Benskin here. - Good of you to call, Dr. Benskin. 965 01:07:51,060 --> 01:07:53,813 We're handling the estate of Lady Howkins. 966 01:07:53,900 --> 01:07:56,619 Did you know that she left you a legacy? 967 01:07:56,700 --> 01:08:00,056 - No, I didn't. - 'Yes, a sum of money. 968 01:08:00,140 --> 01:08:02,859 'Quite a large one, as a matter of fact. £15,000.' 969 01:08:02,940 --> 01:08:07,695 - 15,000... Thousand? - 'Thousand. 970 01:08:07,780 --> 01:08:10,931 'She was, as you know, a very wealthy woman... ' 971 01:08:11,020 --> 01:08:13,853 I'm rich! 15,000 quid! 972 01:08:13,940 --> 01:08:17,330 Lady Howkins left me £15,000 in her will! 973 01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:20,689 Oh, oh, Tony! 974 01:08:20,780 --> 01:08:23,931 You are to donate it to some hospital 975 01:08:24,020 --> 01:08:27,649 or medical institution of your choice within six months. 976 01:08:27,740 --> 01:08:30,493 - Bring her back. - Simon! 977 01:08:32,140 --> 01:08:34,449 Wi... Are you there? 978 01:08:34,540 --> 01:08:37,213 'Are you there, Dr. Benskin? ' 979 01:08:38,140 --> 01:08:40,290 Hello. Yes, I am here. Yes. 980 01:08:40,380 --> 01:08:43,736 I'm afraid we can't give you the cheque right away, 981 01:08:43,820 --> 01:08:47,130 but we'll get it to you soon, or perhaps you'll call? 982 01:08:47,220 --> 01:08:51,293 - Whatever you say, old boy. - We'll be in touch later. Goodbye. 983 01:08:55,340 --> 01:09:00,619 The old darling. I never dreamt she'd turn up trumps like that. 984 01:09:00,700 --> 01:09:03,260 15,000! What are you going to do with it? 985 01:09:03,340 --> 01:09:08,698 I don't know. Open a nursing home for millionaires in the West Indies, 986 01:09:08,780 --> 01:09:11,419 or chip into the face-lifting racket. 987 01:09:12,820 --> 01:09:16,051 But first, I'm going to flog the old bus 988 01:09:16,140 --> 01:09:18,893 and have a delicious holiday in the sun, 989 01:09:18,980 --> 01:09:21,369 and you're both coming as my guests. 990 01:09:21,460 --> 01:09:24,020 I'll find something when we get there. 991 01:09:33,300 --> 01:09:35,018 - Tony! - Yeah? 992 01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:37,660 - We want to eat. - Oh, yes. Hello. 993 01:09:37,740 --> 01:09:40,891 - What do you want, sir? - Er, steak. Underdone. 994 01:09:40,980 --> 01:09:44,256 I think that'll be enough to go on with. Joy? 995 01:09:44,340 --> 01:09:47,969 Joy, stop reading about dyspepsia and give yourself it. 996 01:09:48,060 --> 01:09:49,413 What? 997 01:09:49,500 --> 01:09:53,652 - What would you like to eat, dear? - Oh! Oh, everything. 998 01:09:53,740 --> 01:09:56,538 - The lot for the lady. - Bien, monsieur. 999 01:09:56,620 --> 01:09:58,656 Yes! 1000 01:09:58,740 --> 01:10:01,971 Funny how sea air makes you feel peckish, isn't it? 1001 01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:08,456 Oh, no! 1002 01:10:09,540 --> 01:10:11,895 - What's the matter? - Hopcroft! 1003 01:10:11,980 --> 01:10:13,538 - Who? - Hopcroft! 1004 01:10:13,620 --> 01:10:17,056 A governor at St Swithin's. I got into trouble with him. 1005 01:10:17,140 --> 01:10:20,371 - Forget about him. - What's he doing here? 1006 01:10:25,980 --> 01:10:28,733 Oh, pardon, madam... mademoiselle. 1007 01:10:28,820 --> 01:10:33,336 - What would you like to drink, sir? - Something cold and bubbly. 1008 01:10:33,420 --> 01:10:36,617 - Champagne. Cliquot '47. - Bien, monsieur. 1009 01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:40,852 Funny how sea air makes you feel thirsty, as well. 1010 01:10:42,620 --> 01:10:44,736 Oh! 1011 01:10:50,700 --> 01:10:53,168 Mmm, ahh. 1012 01:11:03,860 --> 01:11:06,658 Nous aurons bien le temps d'aller sur la plage. 1013 01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:12,890 - Funny how sea air makes you feel... - Black or white? 1014 01:11:12,980 --> 01:11:15,938 Well, they both have their points, you know. 1015 01:11:16,020 --> 01:11:18,329 Er... black. 1016 01:11:28,980 --> 01:11:31,175 Pardon, madam! Pardon, madam. 1017 01:11:31,260 --> 01:11:34,172 Oh! Tu es complètement dingue. 1018 01:11:37,300 --> 01:11:39,814 Mes yeux! Mes yeux! 1019 01:11:39,900 --> 01:11:41,856 Good Lord! It's old Hopcroft! 1020 01:11:44,060 --> 01:11:46,574 What on earth's he up to? 1021 01:11:46,660 --> 01:11:50,972 - He seems to be in trouble. - I suppose we'd better help him. 1022 01:12:03,660 --> 01:12:06,049 Non, mes yeux! Mes yeux! 1023 01:12:06,140 --> 01:12:08,529 Vous... vous... dirty old homme! 1024 01:12:08,620 --> 01:12:12,374 Quiet! Calmez-vous! Calmez-vous! 1025 01:12:12,460 --> 01:12:14,371 Get in there. Get in there! 1026 01:12:14,460 --> 01:12:17,452 Calmez-vous! Les gendarmes viennent! 1027 01:12:17,540 --> 01:12:21,579 Police! Police! Police! 1028 01:12:23,260 --> 01:12:26,730 - Police! Police! - Reculez! Circulez! 1029 01:12:26,820 --> 01:12:29,493 Come on, sir. Mind your head. 1030 01:12:30,620 --> 01:12:33,771 - Steady. - Mind your head. 1031 01:12:36,860 --> 01:12:38,657 Reculez, s'il vous plaît, alors! 1032 01:12:38,740 --> 01:12:41,254 - Oh! Oh! - Pardon, mademoiselle. 1033 01:12:41,340 --> 01:12:42,978 Oh! 1034 01:12:46,260 --> 01:12:48,535 - Terrible experience... - Hello. 1035 01:12:48,620 --> 01:12:52,090 - In my position. I... - Terrible. Have another drink. 1036 01:12:52,180 --> 01:12:54,330 - Tony? - Ought I to? 1037 01:12:54,420 --> 01:12:58,732 - Certainly. Doctor's orders. - Oh, are you a doctor? 1038 01:12:58,820 --> 01:13:03,940 - Er, yes, I am. - Yes, I seem to know your face. 1039 01:13:04,020 --> 01:13:07,933 - I'm connected with St Swithin's. - Yes, I know. 1040 01:13:08,020 --> 01:13:10,534 Gentlemen, if there's anything I can do 1041 01:13:10,620 --> 01:13:14,659 to express my gratitude, please say so - anything. 1042 01:13:14,740 --> 01:13:18,779 Well, as a matter of fact, sir. There is something. I want a job. 1043 01:13:18,860 --> 01:13:21,090 At St Swithin's? Of course. 1044 01:13:21,180 --> 01:13:24,217 - Could you? - Of course I can arrange that. 1045 01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:29,169 We should be happy to have such brains on our staff. 1046 01:13:29,260 --> 01:13:31,455 And you, sir? Do you wish to join us? 1047 01:13:31,540 --> 01:13:35,772 Well, that's jolly decent of you but I don't think I will. 1048 01:13:35,860 --> 01:13:37,816 I have other plans. 1049 01:13:40,340 --> 01:13:42,570 - Dr. Benskin. Good morning. - Good morning. 1050 01:13:42,660 --> 01:13:44,696 - Please sit down. - Thank you. 1051 01:13:44,780 --> 01:13:46,850 - I have your cheque. - Splendid. 1052 01:13:46,940 --> 01:13:50,296 Should we hold it until you decide what you'll do with it? 1053 01:13:50,380 --> 01:13:54,931 Oh, no, thanks, I-I've decided. I'll take it. D-D-Don't wrap it. 1054 01:13:57,620 --> 01:13:59,815 The executors would be interested 1055 01:13:59,900 --> 01:14:03,017 to know what plans you have for its disposal. 1056 01:14:03,100 --> 01:14:05,773 Well, quite a lot of things, you know. 1057 01:14:05,860 --> 01:14:07,737 A new ward? 1058 01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:11,130 No, I think I'm a little young to be a guardian yet, 1059 01:14:11,220 --> 01:14:14,178 but I like the idea, I must say. 1060 01:14:15,940 --> 01:14:19,330 Dr. Benskin, perhaps you'd better read the will. 1061 01:14:19,420 --> 01:14:21,172 I told you on the telephone 1062 01:14:21,260 --> 01:14:24,377 but sometimes it's helpful to see it in print. 1063 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:26,530 It's there. 1064 01:14:32,460 --> 01:14:34,416 Blimey! 1065 01:14:34,500 --> 01:14:37,173 Shall we go on holding it for you? 1066 01:14:37,260 --> 01:14:39,296 You'll know what to do with it. 1067 01:14:47,860 --> 01:14:52,490 I wonder if you could, er, possibly lend me sixpence for the bus fare? 1068 01:14:55,940 --> 01:14:58,613 - Oi, road hog! - Morning. 1069 01:14:58,700 --> 01:15:03,376 Hardly a Bentley, but it'll save you walking the last few steps. Any luck? 1070 01:15:03,460 --> 01:15:06,133 Hopcroft got me a job with old Halebridge. 1071 01:15:06,220 --> 01:15:08,973 He's anesthetics. You know nothing about 'em. 1072 01:15:09,060 --> 01:15:12,018 All done by machines these days. Twiddle a knob. 1073 01:15:12,100 --> 01:15:14,136 Just like driving a car. 1074 01:15:14,220 --> 01:15:16,575 Oh, blast. 1075 01:15:16,660 --> 01:15:19,333 Supposing you give them too much choke? 1076 01:15:20,700 --> 01:15:23,772 - Morning, Sir Lancelot. - Morning, Whittle. 1077 01:15:26,500 --> 01:15:30,175 - Good morning, gentlemen. - Good morning, sir. 1078 01:15:38,220 --> 01:15:42,771 Oh, hello, Sparrow. I heard you were back in the old home. 1079 01:15:42,860 --> 01:15:45,613 My case now, I think. 1080 01:15:45,700 --> 01:15:48,260 Well, what are they doing with you, hmm? 1081 01:15:48,340 --> 01:15:50,137 Oh, I'm back in Casualty. 1082 01:15:50,220 --> 01:15:54,213 Yes, I'm with old Spratt. You remember Sir Lancelot? 1083 01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:55,653 Yes. 1084 01:15:55,740 --> 01:15:58,732 He's come to rely on me, though I shouldn't say so. 1085 01:15:58,820 --> 01:16:00,776 Come along, my man. Pursue me. 1086 01:16:00,860 --> 01:16:04,296 Why do I have to walk so far? It's like a rabbit warren. 1087 01:16:04,380 --> 01:16:08,134 It's a wonder we aren't dead of myxomatosis. Don't you agree? 1088 01:16:08,220 --> 01:16:11,769 - Quite right, Sir Lancelot. - I hope so. What have I got? 1089 01:16:11,860 --> 01:16:14,738 A thoracotomy and a perforated gastric ulcer. 1090 01:16:14,820 --> 01:16:18,335 Another one? It's lunatic enough to get an ulcer at all, 1091 01:16:18,420 --> 01:16:20,376 without getting holes through it. 1092 01:16:20,460 --> 01:16:23,816 - How's that stomach I did? - As well as can be expected. 1093 01:16:23,900 --> 01:16:26,653 - Is it? - Yes, sir. 1094 01:16:26,740 --> 01:16:29,573 I thought he'd be pushing up daisies already. 1095 01:16:29,660 --> 01:16:32,220 - Good morning, sir. - Morning. 1096 01:16:33,980 --> 01:16:36,369 - You're Sparrow, aren't you? - Yes, sir. 1097 01:16:36,460 --> 01:16:38,769 - Back here again? - Yes, sir. 1098 01:16:38,860 --> 01:16:40,896 Well, keep out of my hair. 1099 01:16:43,620 --> 01:16:47,169 Simon! Hello. Like it? Nice shade of green, isn't it? 1100 01:16:47,260 --> 01:16:50,172 They're not letting you use anesthetics? 1101 01:16:50,260 --> 01:16:53,093 There are only three stages of anesthesia. 1102 01:16:53,180 --> 01:16:55,899 Awake, asleep or dead. 1103 01:16:55,980 --> 01:16:58,574 Blimey! You'll go far. 1104 01:16:58,660 --> 01:17:02,619 The thing to remember about spaghetti is never overcook it. 1105 01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:06,010 Most restaurants nowadays boil it for about a week. 1106 01:17:06,100 --> 01:17:10,571 It comes out like marine glue - smelling like it, too. Spensor-Wells. 1107 01:17:10,660 --> 01:17:13,970 - Can I do that for you? - No, you can't. 1108 01:17:14,060 --> 01:17:17,735 You let it boil 15 minutes, then slosh it out. 1109 01:17:17,820 --> 01:17:21,130 Take over, Benskin. I'm going to finish the crossword. 1110 01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:23,575 - Me? - Yes, straightforward case. 1111 01:17:23,660 --> 01:17:27,414 - Pulse as steady as a rock. ... then give it five minutes more 1112 01:17:27,500 --> 01:17:31,015 in a good, brisk oven. Cholecystectomy clamp. 1113 01:17:31,100 --> 01:17:34,615 Oh, remind me to buy one of those new garlic squeezers. 1114 01:17:35,580 --> 01:17:37,536 Swab, man. Swab. 1115 01:17:37,620 --> 01:17:41,772 ...we dug away, and there was a gallstone the size of Marble Arch! 1116 01:17:41,860 --> 01:17:45,899 I gave it to him as a paperweight. He didn't want it, so I use it. 1117 01:17:45,980 --> 01:17:49,336 Very useful it is, too, with all the bumf these days. 1118 01:17:49,420 --> 01:17:54,653 Driving my secretary mad. However, as long as she gets the bills out... 1119 01:17:54,740 --> 01:17:56,696 Hello, this looks a bit fishy. 1120 01:17:56,780 --> 01:17:59,897 - A transverse incision... - Scalpel. 1121 01:18:10,660 --> 01:18:12,616 Mr. Anesthetist! 1122 01:18:12,700 --> 01:18:16,932 If the patient can stay awake during his operation, surely you can! 1123 01:18:19,140 --> 01:18:22,416 Hello, chaps. You know Nan? 1124 01:18:22,500 --> 01:18:24,456 - Oh, hello. - We have met. 1125 01:18:24,540 --> 01:18:27,054 When are you coming to see my research? 1126 01:18:27,140 --> 01:18:30,291 You'll find it interesting. It's instructive. 1127 01:18:30,380 --> 01:18:33,053 - What is it? - Oh, wait till you see. 1128 01:18:33,140 --> 01:18:36,769 - Well, cheers all round. - I thought you didn't drink. 1129 01:18:36,860 --> 01:18:39,658 Normally, I don't, but I'm celebrating. 1130 01:18:39,740 --> 01:18:41,970 I'm engaged to be married. 1131 01:18:42,060 --> 01:18:44,335 - Congratulations. - But to whom? 1132 01:18:44,420 --> 01:18:46,934 Well, didn't you know? Nan Macpherson. 1133 01:18:47,060 --> 01:18:49,528 - Oh! - Oh. 1134 01:18:49,620 --> 01:18:54,740 I say, do you know of a place for a honeymoon, romantic and all that? 1135 01:18:54,820 --> 01:18:57,334 As a matter of fact, I do. 1136 01:18:57,420 --> 01:19:00,173 It's a nice little place, very quiet. 1137 01:19:00,260 --> 01:19:04,048 Suit you both perfectly. It's called the Judges Arms. 1138 01:19:04,140 --> 01:19:08,019 I once stayed there under most romantic circumstances. 1139 01:19:16,540 --> 01:19:20,533 Well, that's that. Now, try and remember it. 1140 01:19:20,620 --> 01:19:23,737 They're bound to ask something on antibiotics. 1141 01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:26,971 - I'll try. - I must go. I'm on night duty. 1142 01:19:29,700 --> 01:19:31,930 - Joy? - Mmm? 1143 01:19:32,020 --> 01:19:35,217 How could anyone marry a bloke like Bingham? 1144 01:19:37,220 --> 01:19:41,896 - I suppose she loves him. - I suppose so. Hm! 1145 01:19:41,980 --> 01:19:45,290 What a life, being married to a doctor, anyway, eh? 1146 01:19:45,380 --> 01:19:47,610 Yes, it would be a strain. 1147 01:19:47,700 --> 01:19:50,897 It would be nice, too, if you married the right one. 1148 01:19:50,980 --> 01:19:52,777 - No supper? - No, thanks. 1149 01:19:52,860 --> 01:19:56,489 It's not baked beans. I'm on to omelettes these days. 1150 01:19:56,580 --> 01:19:58,252 Joy, you're very sweet. 1151 01:19:58,340 --> 01:20:03,095 What would I do if you passed your exams and beetled off somewhere? 1152 01:20:03,180 --> 01:20:05,853 I'm don't think I'm very likely to beetle. 1153 01:20:05,940 --> 01:20:07,976 I'm sort of a fixture here, 1154 01:20:08,060 --> 01:20:11,575 like sinks and door handles and things. 1155 01:20:11,660 --> 01:20:15,733 Well, just you remember that no one can get on without them. 1156 01:20:16,740 --> 01:20:18,617 - Good night. - Night. 1157 01:20:26,620 --> 01:20:28,372 Simon! 1158 01:20:37,860 --> 01:20:41,375 - Oh, what is it? - Casualty case, Doctor. Male. 1159 01:20:41,460 --> 01:20:44,896 Intermittent abdominal pains. Severe at times. 1160 01:20:46,620 --> 01:20:49,214 - Does he look ill? - No, came in a taxi. 1161 01:20:49,300 --> 01:20:51,734 Oh, what time is it? 1162 01:20:51,820 --> 01:20:54,937 Half past three. Raining like blazes outside. 1163 01:20:55,860 --> 01:21:00,570 - Ah, Doctor. - Good morning. What's the trouble? 1164 01:21:00,660 --> 01:21:03,857 Sorry to bother you, Doctor. Pascoe's the name. 1165 01:21:03,940 --> 01:21:07,012 - I've interrupted your repose. - No. Sit down. 1166 01:21:07,100 --> 01:21:11,298 I said to myself, "The Doctor's well in the arms of Morpheus. 1167 01:21:11,380 --> 01:21:15,055 - "Enjoying the sleep of the just. " - Do sit down. 1168 01:21:16,540 --> 01:21:19,896 - Are we quite alone, Doctor? - Er, yes, yes. 1169 01:21:19,980 --> 01:21:22,972 - Do you know Sir Lancelot Spratt? - Yes, very well. 1170 01:21:23,060 --> 01:21:26,735 Sir Lancelot operated on me recently. Partial gastrectomy. 1171 01:21:26,820 --> 01:21:28,173 - You know. - Yes. 1172 01:21:28,260 --> 01:21:33,095 All was well until a few days ago. Then I began to have pains. 1173 01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:35,136 This evening, at supper, 1174 01:21:35,220 --> 01:21:38,656 I coughed and suddenly felt something in my mouth. 1175 01:21:38,740 --> 01:21:41,334 - It was a nut. - You'd been eating nuts? 1176 01:21:41,420 --> 01:21:43,092 Oh, no. It was a metal nut. 1177 01:21:43,180 --> 01:21:47,332 A little later, I brought up more nuts and bit of a spring. 1178 01:21:47,420 --> 01:21:50,969 I've been bringing up pieces of old iron all night. 1179 01:21:51,060 --> 01:21:54,894 Mr. Pascoe, this is almost impossible. Are you quite sure? 1180 01:21:54,980 --> 01:21:57,210 Doctor, look. 1181 01:22:02,500 --> 01:22:05,253 Looks like a nut from a surgical retractor. 1182 01:22:05,340 --> 01:22:09,572 Yes. I heard a rumor that something was missing after my operation. 1183 01:22:10,660 --> 01:22:12,855 Could I have a look at your stomach? 1184 01:22:16,060 --> 01:22:18,972 Yes, you've got a fresh scar there. 1185 01:22:19,900 --> 01:22:22,778 - This could be very serious. - That's why I came. 1186 01:22:22,860 --> 01:22:25,328 I'm not the kind to go to the law, 1187 01:22:25,420 --> 01:22:28,935 but if anything happened, I have so many relatives. 1188 01:22:29,020 --> 01:22:33,889 Oh, it is possible, I suppose. I don't remember the case offhand, 1189 01:22:33,980 --> 01:22:36,972 but I had a new theatre sister about that time. 1190 01:22:37,060 --> 01:22:40,177 You're quite sure it's bits of a retractor? 1191 01:22:40,260 --> 01:22:42,615 All right, then. I'll come in. 1192 01:22:42,700 --> 01:22:45,931 Get the theatre ready for an emergency laparotomy. 1193 01:22:46,020 --> 01:22:49,729 Oh, and Sparrow, you were quite right to telephone me. 1194 01:22:55,820 --> 01:22:58,937 Yes, those are bits of a retractor, all right. 1195 01:22:59,700 --> 01:23:04,296 Well, my man. We'll have to see how many other parts are inside you. 1196 01:23:04,380 --> 01:23:09,534 Yes, Doctor. Shall I show you what came up while I was lying here alone? 1197 01:23:09,620 --> 01:23:12,578 - Something else? - Yes. Yes. 1198 01:23:13,940 --> 01:23:16,135 This. 1199 01:23:16,300 --> 01:23:19,292 "Is this a dagger I see before me?" 1200 01:23:20,380 --> 01:23:23,417 Macbeth. Shakespeare. Yes, Shakespeare. 1201 01:23:31,300 --> 01:23:33,052 Well, this is my research. 1202 01:23:33,140 --> 01:23:35,859 Keep it quiet. I don't want it to get about. 1203 01:23:35,940 --> 01:23:39,057 Seems like a losing battle. 1204 01:23:39,140 --> 01:23:41,813 - What's this caviar doing? - Good question. 1205 01:23:41,900 --> 01:23:46,132 That's the whole point. I'm experimenting with the effect of diet 1206 01:23:46,220 --> 01:23:50,338 on pigmentation - color - of skin, fur and plumage. 1207 01:23:50,420 --> 01:23:53,298 They look well on it but I can't think why. 1208 01:23:53,380 --> 01:23:55,575 - Enzymes, old boy. - What? 1209 01:23:55,660 --> 01:23:59,938 Might throw light on human dermatography and genetic practices. 1210 01:24:00,020 --> 01:24:01,976 - What? - Breeding. 1211 01:24:02,060 --> 01:24:05,291 Quite. Most of them are responding pretty well, 1212 01:24:05,380 --> 01:24:09,134 but these two are presenting a bit of a poser. 1213 01:24:09,220 --> 01:24:12,212 - Why? And what are they? - Chameleons. 1214 01:24:12,300 --> 01:24:15,531 - Interesting, eh? - Very, if you like chameleons. 1215 01:24:15,620 --> 01:24:19,499 Yes, I rather fancy Sir Lancelot will be pretty impressed. 1216 01:24:19,580 --> 01:24:21,536 All helps, eh? 1217 01:24:21,620 --> 01:24:25,613 By the way, that was a bit of a boob with the loony, old man. 1218 01:24:25,700 --> 01:24:29,659 Dr. Sparrow here? Blimey, pet's corner, eh? 1219 01:24:29,740 --> 01:24:32,698 - You're wanted in Casualty. - All right. 1220 01:24:32,780 --> 01:24:37,296 Er... Have them X-rayed first this time, old man. 1221 01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:43,773 Poor Sparrow. Always boobing. 1222 01:24:45,460 --> 01:24:47,815 Come in. It's a bit more cozy. 1223 01:24:51,020 --> 01:24:53,614 - Do sit down, Mrs...? - Mrs. Dalton. 1224 01:24:53,700 --> 01:24:55,895 Mrs. Dalton. Do sit down, will you? 1225 01:24:55,980 --> 01:24:59,370 - Here you are. - Thank you. 1226 01:25:01,580 --> 01:25:04,890 Now, then. Tell me what worries you. 1227 01:25:07,060 --> 01:25:10,450 They... they say they want to operate on me. 1228 01:25:10,540 --> 01:25:12,451 Do they? 1229 01:25:12,540 --> 01:25:16,010 Yes. I'm scared. 1230 01:25:16,100 --> 01:25:18,978 Well, there's really no need to be, you know. 1231 01:25:19,060 --> 01:25:23,576 Everyone here's very kind and understanding. 1232 01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:26,493 Why don't you tell me all about it? 1233 01:25:27,540 --> 01:25:30,816 Well, it started about five years ago, 1234 01:25:30,900 --> 01:25:32,936 just after my husband died. 1235 01:25:33,020 --> 01:25:35,818 - I'll cut through Casualty. - Good night. 1236 01:25:35,900 --> 01:25:39,256 By the way, that chap Bingham, what do you think of him? 1237 01:25:39,340 --> 01:25:42,457 - He's a very clever chap. - Yes, I suppose he is. 1238 01:25:42,540 --> 01:25:46,374 But I'm inclined to wonder whether he's in charge or I am. 1239 01:25:46,460 --> 01:25:49,179 - Good night, George. - Good night, sir. 1240 01:25:50,620 --> 01:25:53,532 I see what's worrying you, and I understand. 1241 01:25:53,620 --> 01:25:57,249 - Who's doing the operation? - Sir Lancelot Spratt. 1242 01:25:57,340 --> 01:25:59,410 - Sir Lancelot? - Do you know him? 1243 01:25:59,500 --> 01:26:01,695 - Yes, very well. - What's he like? 1244 01:26:01,780 --> 01:26:05,932 You're very lucky. He's one of the best surgeons in the country. 1245 01:26:06,020 --> 01:26:09,729 We're very proud of him here. Mind you, he's a bit of a bear. 1246 01:26:09,820 --> 01:26:13,654 He growls a bit but you mustn't take any notice of that. 1247 01:26:13,740 --> 01:26:16,129 You couldn't be in more secure hands. 1248 01:26:16,220 --> 01:26:18,734 Oh, that does make me feel better. 1249 01:26:20,100 --> 01:26:23,376 - But... - But what? 1250 01:26:23,460 --> 01:26:25,610 Well, there is another thing... 1251 01:26:26,660 --> 01:26:30,255 My sister, you see. She had an operation. 1252 01:26:30,340 --> 01:26:34,458 All the doctors said it was going to be all right but it wasn't. 1253 01:26:34,540 --> 01:26:38,852 - She was ill long after. - Complications can arise sometimes, 1254 01:26:38,940 --> 01:26:40,896 things that no one can foresee. 1255 01:26:40,980 --> 01:26:44,768 - Have you ever made a mistake? - Who me? Oh, Lord, yes. 1256 01:26:44,860 --> 01:26:48,819 There was chap last night. Came in just like you, a bit late. 1257 01:26:48,900 --> 01:26:52,813 Said he was bringing up nuts and bolts. 1258 01:26:52,900 --> 01:26:57,735 He was a crank. I got bawled out but you see, he might've been right. 1259 01:26:57,820 --> 01:27:00,892 He might have been ill. I couldn't take a chance. 1260 01:27:02,140 --> 01:27:06,770 You know, I don't know why anyone becomes a doctor or a nurse. 1261 01:27:06,860 --> 01:27:09,738 All that responsibility. 1262 01:27:09,820 --> 01:27:14,177 Well, you know, Mrs. Dalton, I've often wondered that myself. 1263 01:27:14,260 --> 01:27:16,774 There are easier ways to earn a living. 1264 01:27:16,860 --> 01:27:21,456 It's not for the glamour and it's certainly not for the money. 1265 01:27:21,540 --> 01:27:24,976 No, I think it's because they feel that... 1266 01:27:25,060 --> 01:27:30,009 the most precious thing we have on this earth is life, 1267 01:27:30,100 --> 01:27:34,616 and nothing's more important than to help people get their full share. 1268 01:27:34,700 --> 01:27:39,820 - That's why you became a doctor? - Who, me? I'd like to think so. 1269 01:27:39,900 --> 01:27:42,858 As a matter of fact, I wanted to be a surgeon, 1270 01:27:42,940 --> 01:27:45,215 but I don't think I ever shall now. 1271 01:27:45,300 --> 01:27:49,134 So I've just got to be good as a different sort of doctor. 1272 01:27:49,220 --> 01:27:51,051 - A cup of tea? - Oh, yes. 1273 01:27:51,140 --> 01:27:53,210 I'll go ask Harry to put some on. 1274 01:27:53,300 --> 01:27:57,578 I'd have thought it would be more interesting to research rarer things, 1275 01:27:57,660 --> 01:28:02,495 like, oh, I don't know... elephants, for instance. 1276 01:28:02,580 --> 01:28:06,016 You sometimes get a white elephant, don't you? Why? 1277 01:28:06,100 --> 01:28:08,056 That's a point. 1278 01:28:08,140 --> 01:28:12,372 How would one get information on elephant diet and... practices? 1279 01:28:12,460 --> 01:28:17,011 From a zoo, I imagine, or a circus. I expect they keep records. 1280 01:28:17,100 --> 01:28:19,455 Would you like me to find out for you? 1281 01:28:19,540 --> 01:28:22,418 Would you? As you can see, I'm pretty busy. 1282 01:28:22,500 --> 01:28:24,775 - Yes, all right. - Good girl. 1283 01:28:24,860 --> 01:28:27,215 Ask for all they've got on elephants. 1284 01:28:27,300 --> 01:28:29,860 All they've got on elephants. Yes. 1285 01:28:29,940 --> 01:28:33,649 Mention Sir Lancelot. That'll impress them. 1286 01:28:34,740 --> 01:28:36,253 Elephants. 1287 01:28:39,020 --> 01:28:43,571 I want a report on that gastrectomy. I'm not quite satisfied with it. 1288 01:28:43,660 --> 01:28:46,970 - Yes, sir. - No lack of punctuality. Well? 1289 01:28:47,060 --> 01:28:50,973 Excuse me, guv'nor. Where can I find a bloke called Spratt? 1290 01:28:52,100 --> 01:28:54,216 I am a bloke called Spratt. 1291 01:28:54,300 --> 01:28:57,337 - I've got something for you, sir. - What? 1292 01:28:57,420 --> 01:29:01,936 Come on the instructions of a gent called Bingham, for you. 1293 01:29:03,020 --> 01:29:04,976 Where is it? 1294 01:29:32,900 --> 01:29:35,972 Oh, no! I asked for all they'd got on elephants, 1295 01:29:36,060 --> 01:29:38,016 not all the elephants they'd got! 1296 01:29:43,100 --> 01:29:48,697 - Dr. Bingham! - Coming, sir. Sir Lancelot... 1297 01:29:48,780 --> 01:29:51,533 - What is the meaning of this? - Sir, I... 1298 01:29:51,620 --> 01:29:54,817 - Is this your idea of a joke? - No, sir. It was... 1299 01:29:54,900 --> 01:29:58,893 Dr. Bingham, they assure me that elephants never forget. 1300 01:29:58,980 --> 01:30:02,939 Allow me to assure you, neither do consultant surgeons. 1301 01:30:03,020 --> 01:30:04,976 Good day to you. 1302 01:30:07,300 --> 01:30:09,530 - Hello, Joy. - Hello, Tony. 1303 01:30:09,620 --> 01:30:12,578 Well, why so glum? Where are you off to? 1304 01:30:12,660 --> 01:30:14,935 To Spratt, to get the sack. 1305 01:30:15,020 --> 01:30:17,773 - Join me. - You've got another job already? 1306 01:30:17,860 --> 01:30:21,819 Private personal physician to the Maharajah of Branda. 1307 01:30:21,900 --> 01:30:24,494 I'm starting a clinic for his girls. 1308 01:30:24,580 --> 01:30:28,209 Well, if you need any elephants, Joy has a contact. 1309 01:30:28,300 --> 01:30:31,815 By the way, I've given Lady Howkins' 15,000 to St Swithin's. 1310 01:30:31,900 --> 01:30:34,972 Tell them to stuff... some pillows with it. 1311 01:30:35,060 --> 01:30:38,814 That's nice, isn't it? See you in the pub. 1312 01:30:38,900 --> 01:30:42,017 That's old Benskin fixed up. Heaven help India. 1313 01:30:42,100 --> 01:30:43,453 What'll you do now? 1314 01:30:43,540 --> 01:30:47,328 Go back to GP, end up in Middlesbrough with feet and ringworm. 1315 01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:49,889 - Someone's got to do it. - Be you soon. 1316 01:30:49,980 --> 01:30:51,493 - No, it won't. - What? 1317 01:30:51,580 --> 01:30:55,050 - You were right. I've given up. - Joy! 1318 01:30:55,140 --> 01:30:57,449 My student days are over. 1319 01:30:57,540 --> 01:31:00,771 What will you do? Go back to nursing or something? 1320 01:31:00,860 --> 01:31:04,455 I might. I think I've rather lost the thing. 1321 01:31:04,540 --> 01:31:08,135 I'm a bit sick of hospitals. I might do private nursing. 1322 01:31:08,220 --> 01:31:11,735 Some old rich woman eating her head off in Monte Carlo. 1323 01:31:11,820 --> 01:31:13,776 That would be fun. 1324 01:31:13,860 --> 01:31:17,011 Palm trees, sunshine, Greek millionaires... 1325 01:31:17,100 --> 01:31:20,854 - Somehow they don't appeal to me. - You must be dotty. 1326 01:31:20,940 --> 01:31:23,932 What on earth's the matter with Monte Carlo? 1327 01:31:24,020 --> 01:31:26,853 It's too far from Middlesbrough. 1328 01:31:26,940 --> 01:31:29,215 I'll wait for you in the hall. 1329 01:31:31,260 --> 01:31:33,251 Come. 1330 01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:43,733 Dr. Sparrow, I do not enjoy being hauled out of bed at 3am, 1331 01:31:43,820 --> 01:31:47,813 made to drive through a cloudburst to see a sicked-up surgical saw. 1332 01:31:47,900 --> 01:31:50,573 I understand, Sir Lancelot. I apologize. 1333 01:31:50,660 --> 01:31:52,332 I do not accept your apology. 1334 01:31:52,420 --> 01:31:56,049 This is not the first time our paths have crossed unhappily. 1335 01:31:56,140 --> 01:31:58,734 - No, sir. - Then, let's ensure it is the last. 1336 01:31:58,820 --> 01:32:02,130 I assume you mean my dismissal from the hospital? 1337 01:32:02,220 --> 01:32:06,816 A not unnatural assumption. I hear you're interested in surgery. 1338 01:32:06,900 --> 01:32:09,653 What makes you think your gifts lie there? 1339 01:32:09,740 --> 01:32:14,211 Some may say that a nuts and bolts factory is more suitable 1340 01:32:14,300 --> 01:32:16,131 than an operating theatre. 1341 01:32:16,220 --> 01:32:18,780 Or have you what is called a vocation? 1342 01:32:18,860 --> 01:32:22,489 Yes, I have. I have a vocation, if that's what you call it, 1343 01:32:22,580 --> 01:32:25,777 and one day I'll prove it, though I shan't have a title 1344 01:32:25,860 --> 01:32:28,977 and a conceit as big as my backside to advertise it! 1345 01:32:29,060 --> 01:32:31,733 You're being remarkably insulting. 1346 01:32:31,820 --> 01:32:35,415 And I'm thoroughly enjoying it. And I don't apologize. 1347 01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:40,494 And I'd have thought it might be an interesting clinical experience 1348 01:32:40,580 --> 01:32:43,299 for you to be on the receiving end for once. 1349 01:32:43,380 --> 01:32:45,735 Good morning. 1350 01:32:45,820 --> 01:32:48,732 Oh, Dr. Sparrow, one further thing. 1351 01:32:48,820 --> 01:32:51,050 I do not growl like a bear... 1352 01:32:51,140 --> 01:32:53,779 I ROAR LIKE A LION! GET OUT! 1353 01:33:03,020 --> 01:33:06,695 Spratt. Oh, yes, Sister. I'll be along in a minute. 1354 01:33:06,780 --> 01:33:09,977 Get 'em lined up, and see the tools are sharp. 1355 01:33:10,060 --> 01:33:12,369 Where do we go now? 1356 01:33:12,460 --> 01:33:17,329 To the pub to find me a drink and then to find me a job. 1357 01:33:19,620 --> 01:33:24,250 Dr. Sparrow, put that wretched woman down. Gentlemen. 1358 01:33:24,340 --> 01:33:27,093 Where the devil do you think you're going? 1359 01:33:27,180 --> 01:33:30,934 To get myself a ruddy great drink. Then I'm going to get a job. 1360 01:33:31,020 --> 01:33:34,615 That's the wrong direction. The operating theatre's this way. 1361 01:33:34,700 --> 01:33:36,895 I'm going this way. 1362 01:33:36,980 --> 01:33:39,130 - What for? - To get married! 1363 01:33:39,220 --> 01:33:42,690 You can't get married today. You'll have to put it off. 1364 01:33:42,780 --> 01:33:45,931 If you want to be a surgeon, you'd better start now. 1365 01:33:49,700 --> 01:33:53,295 The first thing you do is order a respectable suit. 1366 01:33:53,380 --> 01:33:55,450 - Simon? - What? 1367 01:33:55,540 --> 01:33:58,418 - Who are you going to marry? - What? 1368 01:33:58,500 --> 01:34:00,536 Well, you, of course. 1369 01:34:02,100 --> 01:34:06,298 - Unless you've any objections? - Dr. Sparrow, I'm waiting. 1370 01:34:16,299 --> 01:34:19,099 Ripped by: SkyFury