1
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:14,779
There are some friends you'll have
for the rest of your life.
2
00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:18,898
You're welded together
by love,
3
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,174
trust,
respect,
4
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:24,133
or loss.
5
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,337
Or in our case,
simple embarrassment.
6
00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:36,098
Stand clear of the doors.
7
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:37,818
Mind the gap.
8
00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:53,532
Let's all go down to Oxford Circus,
past Trafalgar Square...
9
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,453
And then from Charing Cross
right up to Euston.
10
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:59,214
Then change to the Victoria,
11
00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:03,168
then the Piccadilly
takes us round to Gloucester Road,
12
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,212
Kensington
and Notting Hill Gate.
13
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:06,859
Holland Park, and Shepherds Bush.
14
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:10,490
- Ladbroke Grove, Westbourne Park.
- Royal Oak and Paddington.
15
00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:12,298
Edgware Road and Baker Street.
16
00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:14,371
Great Portland Street
and Euston Square.
17
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:17,657
Barbican and Aldgate East
and change for Tower Hill.
18
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:21,210
Fulham Broadway,
heading down for Wimbledon.
19
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:24,571
Wimbledon Park.
Now we've crossed the Thames.
20
00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:28,050
Back to Earl's Court
right up to Victoria.
21
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,778
Change for Green Park.
22
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:32,090
Home in time for tea.
23
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:36,048
To check the map to find
the route to start again.
24
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,451
So, after tea
we're off again.
25
00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:44,375
We go through Swiss Cottage
heading northward on the Jubilee.
26
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:47,532
We change to the Metropolitan
at Finchley Road,
27
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:50,294
which takes us round
to change at Rayner's Lane.
28
00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:53,179
- Sudbury Hill and Sudbury Town.
- Alperton and Acton Town.
29
00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:56,491
- Chiswick Park and Turnham Green.
- Stamford Brook and Ravenscourt Park.
30
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,015
- Hammersmith and Barons Court.
- West Kensington and Bayswater.
31
00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:00,249
And again, Paddington...
32
00:02:00,540 --> 00:02:02,053
Then change for Maida Vale.
33
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:03,539
Willesden Junction.
34
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,372
Didn't notice Kensal Green.
35
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:08,054
Watford High Street.
Christ, we've gone too far.
36
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,178
Stop at Watford.
Back again to Baker Street.
37
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,173
King's Cross, Moorgate,
Northern line to Bank.
38
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:16,808
And the escalator link
to Monument.
39
00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:19,813
We jump the Circle
and we're going round and round
40
00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:21,936
and round and round.
41
00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:33,372
All change!
42
00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:41,417
Perhaps we shouldn't have closed
with the Underground Song.
43
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:44,572
Just keep thinking of the fee,
my cherubs. 500 pounds.
44
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:47,413
- It could have been worse.
- Yes, it could have been worse.
45
00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:50,333
They could have attached
electrodes to our genitals!
46
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,252
I think they enjoyed it,
in their own way.
47
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,775
Yes, they're just one of those
audiences that enjoy it... later.
48
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:56,771
They get home and think:
Yes, I rather enjoyed that.
49
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:59,898
Should we give them our
individual telephone numbers then?
50
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,369
I shall expect dozens
of phone calls saying:
51
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:04,974
"I know I looked bored shitless
throughout the evening,
52
00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:07,734
but on reflection, Roger was right.
I had a fantastic time".
53
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,538
You two are so cynical.
54
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,692
We should hire a lawyer
and sue that audience.
55
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,771
- Paul enjoyed it.
- You are such a little cutie.
56
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,820
Maggie, are you doing
a magic trick over there?
57
00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:20,049
Oh, Maggie!
58
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,619
I have to say, Peter.
59
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:24,931
Why did your father book us if
his friends weren't going to laugh.
60
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,897
And you have to say that?
61
00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:29,255
Will you take a picture of us?
62
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:34,773
Not a photograph!
Not a photo!
63
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:38,369
It's the last performance
we'll do together,
64
00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:41,577
and it's New Year's Eve
and I want a photograph.
65
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:47,051
We're not students anymore.
66
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,369
Thank God.
67
00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:51,208
Hurry up!
I haven't got all night!
68
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:52,654
Smile.
69
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,219
All right. Bah after three.
70
00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:55,529
Bah!
71
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,971
Welcome to your life.
72
00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:08,255
There's no turning back.
73
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:13,051
Even while we sleep,
74
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:20,215
we will find you
acting on your best behaviour.
75
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:24,209
Turn your back on
Mother Nature.
76
00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:28,892
Everybody wants to
rule the world.
77
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:41,933
It's my own design.
78
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:46,176
It's my own remarks.
79
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,898
Help me to decide.
80
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:57,010
Help me make the most
of freedom and of pleasure.
81
00:04:57,740 --> 00:05:00,891
Nothing ever lasts forever.
82
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:05,971
Everybody wants to
rule the world.
83
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:09,576
There's a room where
the light won't find you.
84
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:13,809
Holding hands while the walls
come tumbling down.
85
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,772
When they do,
I'll be right behind you.
86
00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:21,610
So glad we've almost made it.
87
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:26,259
So sad they had to fade it.
88
00:05:26,420 --> 00:05:29,969
Everybody wants to
rule the world.
89
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,610
Peter, if you're going to
stay in the house,
90
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:43,499
I shall have to file
certain papers with the court.
91
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:46,697
The local rating system alone
is very complicated.
92
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,612
I shall need to
go through that with you.
93
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,896
But to be honest with you,
Mr. Gooch,
94
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,051
I'm not sure what I'm
going to do with this house.
95
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,849
Your father provided generously
for Vera and Paul in his will,
96
00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:59,893
and the part time staff
have also been taken care of.
97
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:00,776
I know.
98
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,135
Perhaps you could
rent the property out.
99
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,855
I could arrange that for you.
100
00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:08,449
- Not sure.
- Or I could get a valuation done.
101
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:12,896
I'm sorry to be so vague,
Mr. Gooch.
102
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,577
But you'll be delighted to know
I've made one decision.
103
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:17,570
What's that?
104
00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:19,537
I'm going to have a party.
105
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:24,016
Andrew and Carol
in there, I think.
106
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,091
And Maggie in there.
107
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:30,809
Vera, if you'd be happier
leaving before the holidays...
108
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:32,652
I'd understand completely.
109
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:35,459
And Sarah and...
her friend in there.
110
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:38,260
I've said I'll stay
till the first of the year.
111
00:06:38,420 --> 00:06:39,455
Roger and Mary in there.
112
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:42,293
Which of course is lovely and
much appreciated, Vera,
113
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:45,179
but I wish you'd please try,
as a special favour to me,
114
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,729
not to be quite so gothic
to my friends.
115
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,970
When my bags come in...
116
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,454
Excuse me, but are you
who I think you are?
117
00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,212
I think I might be.
118
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:06,610
- What's your name again?
- Carol Benson.
119
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:07,690
Who?
120
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:09,813
Carol Benson.
121
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:12,576
- "Who's in the Kitchen?"
- What?
122
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:15,698
It's a situation comedy.
My wife is the star.
123
00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:18,533
It's made us millions of dollars.
You must come visit us.
124
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,894
I knew I knew you!
125
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,609
My children watch you
on television!
126
00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:24,452
I've never seen the show myself.
127
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:27,578
It's on at 4 in the afternoon.
I usually have things to do.
128
00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:30,129
But they love it.
It was nice to meet you.
129
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,256
- Susan, was it?
- Carol.
130
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,854
Well, I'll just call you
"The Kitchen Lady".
131
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,856
Andrew, you know what I hate most
about being a public figure?
132
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,931
The public.
That's one of mine.
133
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:51,091
What the fuck have you got
in here, weights?
134
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:52,488
Yes.
135
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,890
Ben, please play with the tractor
that cost Daddy 40 pounds,
136
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:04,971
not the box it came in.
137
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:07,568
This is very important.
138
00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:10,732
Every time Ben goes to sleep,
it must be switched on, all right?
139
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,414
Wherever you are in the house,
you must carry this intercom.
140
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,889
If he stops breathing,
an alarm will go,
141
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,654
and you get to him immediately
and start resuscitation.
142
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:21,129
- Sure you know mouth-to-mouth?
- I'm a qualified nurse.
143
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,018
Please don't worry Mrs. Anderson.
144
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:26,297
You and your husband go
and enjoy a couple of days break.
145
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:27,859
Everything will be fine.
146
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:31,253
Maybe we should
take Ben with us.
147
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:34,095
- Could you hold him, please?
- Certainly.
148
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:39,659
Look, we haven't been out of
this house at night for 8 months.
149
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,175
- Please!
- I'll worry the whole time.
150
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,935
But we're expected. It'll be
great to see everyone again.
151
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,409
All right, let me say goodbye
to him once more.
152
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:52,895
Bye, sweetheart,
we'll see you in 3 days.
153
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:54,129
All right? Mummy and Daddy
will see you in 3 days.
154
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:57,294
I've never left him
overnight before.
155
00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,208
I've left pictures
of myself everywhere.
156
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:01,859
Look, Michael.
157
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:03,419
Maggie.
158
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,658
That's supposed to help.
159
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:08,857
I'll come in twice a day
and freshen his food and water.
160
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:11,774
Please, don't let him
follow me into the hall,
161
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:14,295
'cause he might try and...
run after me.
162
00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:16,934
Where is he?
163
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,137
He ran into the bedroom.
164
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,415
He's putting on a brave face.
165
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,456
You have my telephone number.
166
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,770
Just in case you need to
get in touch.
167
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,578
Please don't hesitate to call.
168
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,939
Bye, Michael.
Bye.
169
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,773
Bye-bye, Michael.
170
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:39,175
Bye.
I'm going, bye.
171
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,651
Don't let him follow me,
all right?
172
00:09:41,820 --> 00:09:42,411
Bye.
173
00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:57,654
No, no, no!
174
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,290
Yes!
175
00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:30,493
Sarah! Sarah!
176
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,050
Sarah! It's Maggie!
177
00:10:33,740 --> 00:10:36,129
Maggie, you look wonderful!
178
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,978
You must be Clive.
I've heard so much about you.
179
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,893
- Actually, this is Brian.
- I meant Brian.
180
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,893
I completely meant Brian.
I'm very bad with names.
181
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:49,938
It's completely my fault.
She's talked about Brian for months.
182
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,455
We only met
a couple of weeks ago.
183
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,009
Congratulations!
184
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,897
You look very happy together.
I wonder who's picking us up.
185
00:10:58,060 --> 00:10:58,651
Hello.
186
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,890
- Are you Paul?
- Yes.
187
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,652
Oh, my God! Little Paul!
188
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,258
What about that train!
189
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,416
How is Peter?
Is he all right?
190
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,251
I guess.
191
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,973
- So hard losing a parent.
- I guess.
192
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:28,735
I think this is going to have
a positive effect on Peter.
193
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,413
He even sounded different
on the phone.
194
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:34,969
More mature.
195
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:37,853
More sturdy.
196
00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:40,329
Ready to settle down,
don't you think?
197
00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:42,371
- I guess.
- Me too.
198
00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:43,893
Peter?
199
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:47,655
Peter's hopeless, Mags.
He's the loveliest boy in the world
200
00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:50,618
but he's never been able to hold
down a job or relationship.
201
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,816
You know that.
He's hopeless.
202
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,174
People change.
203
00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:56,498
Paul's certainly changed.
204
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:07,812
I heard this extraordinary story
about Greta Garbo the other day.
205
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:11,052
Apparently she and
Georgia O'Keefe
206
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:14,656
used to keep this Alsatian
that used to lick them.
207
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:27,056
Did he?
So how many of the...?
208
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,448
Oh, right.
209
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,497
Yes, well you make sure that...
210
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,616
Yeah, okay then.
211
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,294
Yes, you are right.
212
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,815
Look, I'll phone
as soon as we get there.
213
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,289
To see if everything's all right
Thanks a lot. Bye.
214
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:51,939
Fucking hell!
215
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:07,535
Look at you!
216
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:09,773
Look at you!
217
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:12,374
Mr. California!
218
00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:13,689
Hello, my darling!
219
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,930
- Did you bring a surfboard?
- No, that's just Carol.
220
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,738
Ignore him.
He's a monster.
221
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,253
Carol, it's joyful gorgeousity.
222
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,888
- What's all this, then?
- It's called a pot belly, Andrew.
223
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,620
We have those in England,
along with culture.
224
00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:26,975
- Be careful with everything.
- Yes, ma'am.
225
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,218
You look great!
226
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:33,098
Miss Benson... sorry...
227
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:35,854
I heard you were going to be here.
I'm a really big fan.
228
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:38,580
Thank you, just grab something
from the trunk and follow them.
229
00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:41,813
- Mags, old girl!
- Peter!
230
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,580
Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter!
231
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,691
We've just got the 3 days, Maggie.
232
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,328
It would be nice to make it
into the house at some stage.
233
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,615
Roger and Mary!
234
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:55,648
Andrew!
235
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:59,209
I'm going inside
to grab the best room.
236
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,052
Of course you are,
my darling.
237
00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:03,576
Excuse me.
Are those heavy enough for you?
238
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:07,417
Hello.
Could I...?
239
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,577
Hello, Andrew.
240
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:11,375
How are you?
241
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:13,849
Could I be a terrible bore
and use your phone?
242
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,055
Yes, of course.
243
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:16,494
- Well, come on then.
- Yes.
244
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,888
Thank you all very much.
I'm very grateful.
245
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:46,857
- Thank you.
- Thank you madam.
246
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,248
- Thank you.
- Ta.
247
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,695
- Thank you.
- No, actually, I'm a guest.
248
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:51,929
- A guest?
- Yeah.
249
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,568
- Then why did you carry my bags?
- I don't know.
250
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:03,014
Can you tell me which room
my girlfriend's in?
251
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,171
- Does she have a name?
- Sorry. Sarah.
252
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:07,092
She's in that room.
253
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:09,854
- Everything all right, Vera?
- Not enough towels.
254
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:15,094
Andrew, you should see our room.
It is to die for!
255
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:16,336
My wife.
256
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:19,416
Sarah.
257
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,215
Sarah?
258
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,054
Sarah?
259
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,852
Look at this armoire!
Is it real?
260
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:43,009
No, it's imaginary.
261
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,209
Whose are these?
262
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,488
I'm afraid there's been
a bit of misunderstanding.
263
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:52,891
Those are my suits.
This is my room.
264
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,735
I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
265
00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:01,415
No, no that's quite all right.
Yours is next door.
266
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,093
Is it as nice as this one?
267
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,648
Well...
268
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:07,333
I am kidding.
269
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,776
If this were my house,
I'd want the best room.
270
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:13,375
Andrew... bags.
271
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,131
She's fun when she's asleep.
272
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,052
- I heard that.
- Thank you, darling.
273
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:45,968
Tidings of comfort and joy,
274
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:48,012
comfort and joy.
275
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:52,533
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
276
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,095
Brenda says everything is fine.
277
00:16:59,260 --> 00:16:59,976
Good.
278
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:03,172
He had a bottle and
a whole jar of apple sauce.
279
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,537
Good, probably no need
to call tomorrow then.
280
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,339
Are you saying
I'm ringing too often?
281
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,297
I can't help it if
I'm concerned about my baby.
282
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:13,496
Are you saying
I'm not concerned?
283
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:16,333
Because I don't ring every 2 seconds
doesn't mean I'm not concerned.
284
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,096
Hello you two.
Got everything you need?
285
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:21,773
Yeah, fine thanks.
286
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,134
Towels, spoons?
287
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:24,938
Heaps of spoons.
288
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:28,175
- Mary?
- Fine, thanks.
289
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:31,450
It's good to get away, actually.
290
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,698
I'm sorry I haven't seen
either of you since...
291
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:37,694
No, don't be silly.
292
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,613
This is the first time we've
been out since it happened.
293
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:44,929
- Ben's all right though?
- Yes, Ben is very bonny.
294
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:48,132
So, all you've got to worry about
are murderers and perverts.
295
00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:50,015
Quite.
296
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:54,097
I'll see you both downstairs
at 7, if that's all right.
297
00:17:58,260 --> 00:17:59,659
Peter,
298
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:03,095
we were very sorry
to hear about your father.
299
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,056
Thank you.
300
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:09,017
- Thanks for inviting us down.
- Tish tosh, nonsense!
301
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:11,296
Wouldn't work if
you two lovelies weren't here.
302
00:18:11,860 --> 00:18:14,215
Well, I'll see you both downstairs.
303
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:27,609
I could feel the cellulite
building up on the plane.
304
00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:31,011
I wonder if any airlines
have planes with gyms?
305
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:33,171
I was going to suggest
we flew Gym Air,
306
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:35,729
but I thought you'd prefer
a plane with a seat.
307
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,130
A gym on a plane
is a good idea.
308
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,097
And that's what
makes you, you, darling.
309
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:42,171
You promised you'd be
nicer to me on this trip.
310
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,932
Because I thought we were
getting away from it all.
311
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:46,330
I didn't realise
you'd bring it all with you.
312
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,491
You'd love me less
if I were fat.
313
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:57,771
I think I'll take a walk.
314
00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:09,698
Hiya, sexy.
315
00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:24,697
Hello. Just came to see
you're doing this properly.
316
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,132
Oh, no!
You're doing it all wrong.
317
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,494
Now I'll have to help you.
318
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:32,896
So, do you have wood
in Los Angeles?
319
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,130
- We have Hollywood.
- Now, now. Stop it.
320
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,098
- I don't want to tell you again.
- Sorry.
321
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,653
I got your letter.
322
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:45,294
Thank you.
It meant a great deal to me.
323
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,535
My father was very fond of you.
324
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:51,691
I was fond of him.
325
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,779
Well, you understood him better.
I wasted him.
326
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:56,293
- No.
- Yes, I did.
327
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:58,495
It's funny.
328
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,129
With both my parents gone,
I suddenly...
329
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:04,860
have this overwhelming urge
to act maturely.
330
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,658
I don't think
anyone really matures.
331
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:09,618
Adults are just children
who owe money.
332
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:10,730
Come on.
333
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,055
One more?
334
00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:14,096
Okay.
335
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,098
Strange about Father.
336
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:24,338
We fought each other for years
and now, I miss him.
337
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,172
Well of course you do, Peter.
338
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:31,658
So all this is yours now,
Eh, your lordshipful?
339
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:34,778
Kneel when you say that kindly.
340
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:37,969
Doesn't Sarah look good still?
341
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:39,368
- Very fruity.
- Yes.
342
00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:41,451
Maggie's still Maggie,
of course.
343
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:46,010
Roger and Mary seem
to be holding up okay.
344
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:47,738
I suppose so.
345
00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:50,698
- Horrid thing to have to go through.
- Absolutely.
346
00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:53,852
I think if there is a God,
he takes a lot of long lunches.
347
00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:58,899
- Are you all right?
- Yes, it is...
348
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,335
- Oh, uh yourself.
- How is everything out there?
349
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,412
You know, Carol and I have
an obscene amount of money.
350
00:21:06,580 --> 00:21:08,855
- How long have you been married?
- Almost three years.
351
00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:10,294
That's quite long time
for Hollywood, isn't it?
352
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:11,449
You get some kind of plaque?
353
00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:14,572
If we stay together for 5 years
I get free hair transplants,
354
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,173
and she gets a new set of breasts.
355
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:18,296
- What? So she'll have 4?
- Yes, but her agent gets one.
356
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,051
No, no stop it!
357
00:21:19,220 --> 00:21:21,939
You fell for that.
I didn't think you would.
358
00:21:25,140 --> 00:21:27,370
Is that cream you're putting in that?
359
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:29,212
- Are you making any without cream?
- No.
360
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:30,335
I can't have cream.
361
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:33,060
- Then you'd better not eat any.
- What's that I smell?
362
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:34,653
That's what we're
having for dinner.
363
00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:38,096
Cream of mushroom soup,
roast beef and Yorkshire pudding,
364
00:21:38,260 --> 00:21:40,979
buttered carrots, sprouts, parsnips,
mashed potatoes and trifle.
365
00:21:41,140 --> 00:21:42,573
Should I send for the ambulance?
366
00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:45,493
Lord Malton drew up the menu.
You'll have to talk to him.
367
00:21:45,660 --> 00:21:48,697
Why don't you make me
a baked potato, steam a few carrots
368
00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,578
and broil me a piece of chicken
without the skin?
369
00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:53,095
Why don't you go down to the shop,
buy whatever it is that you want
370
00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:54,375
and cook your self?
371
00:21:54,540 --> 00:21:56,656
Did you never see
"Upstairs, Downstairs"?
372
00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:06,249
So, how's the world
of publishing?
373
00:22:06,620 --> 00:22:08,338
Fine,
very busy.
374
00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:11,376
Any news
on the boyfriend front?
375
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,052
I was kind of seeing someone.
376
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:17,928
An author.
377
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:20,092
And what happened?
378
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,932
He committed suicide.
379
00:22:23,460 --> 00:22:26,418
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right,
380
00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:27,649
honestly, really.
381
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:30,650
I didn't really like him
very much.
382
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:34,892
I liked him even less
after he committed suicide.
383
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,852
How did he do it?
384
00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:41,010
Threw himself off a building.
385
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,095
He couldn't even do that properly.
386
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:48,570
It was only a 3 storey building.
387
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:50,817
He would have survived,
388
00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:54,536
only a car ran him over.
389
00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:59,258
- It's not funny.
- It is slightly funny, Maggie.
390
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:03,178
I suppose so.
Yes it is slightly funny.
391
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:05,897
What sort of books did he write?
392
00:23:06,060 --> 00:23:08,574
- Self-help.
- Of course.
393
00:23:10,340 --> 00:23:11,614
Oh, sorry.
394
00:23:12,420 --> 00:23:13,535
Actually,
395
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:17,775
we've just published
a new self-help book,
396
00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:20,738
called
"You Already Know your Mate"
397
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,458
That sound reasonable.
398
00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:25,931
It's about how sometimes
you know someone
399
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,849
and who you should be married to...
400
00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:33,217
but you don't think of him
as marriage potential.
401
00:23:33,740 --> 00:23:35,776
Because, you know,
he's your friend.
402
00:23:35,940 --> 00:23:38,898
But, Mags, I'm sorry to break
your heart, but I am taken.
403
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,098
Not you, Andrew?
404
00:23:45,060 --> 00:23:46,015
Peter.
405
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,814
Peter? Oh, Mags...
406
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:51,938
Peter's never been very
interested in women.
407
00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:55,494
- He's definitely gay then, is he?
- I don't know.
408
00:23:55,660 --> 00:23:57,013
Well you're his best friend.
409
00:23:57,180 --> 00:24:00,490
But I haven't seen him for 4 years.
We haven't discussed it.
410
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:03,458
I don't think he's very
interested in men either.
411
00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:06,334
And that's the point, I don't think
he's a very interested, full stop.
412
00:24:08,620 --> 00:24:11,930
I think it's just because he hasn't
met the right woman.
413
00:24:13,260 --> 00:24:14,249
Or rather...
414
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:18,933
he hasn't realised that he has
met the right woman.
415
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:21,895
But he hasn't realised it.
416
00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:45,612
Got a wife and kids
in Baltimore, Jack.
417
00:24:45,780 --> 00:24:49,693
I went out for a ride
and I never went back.
418
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:54,097
Like a river that don't know
where it's flowing.
419
00:24:54,980 --> 00:24:58,416
I took a wrong turn
and I just can't go home.
420
00:24:59,060 --> 00:25:02,370
Everybody's got
a hungry heart.
421
00:25:03,340 --> 00:25:06,730
Everybody's got
a hungry heart.
422
00:25:07,460 --> 00:25:10,850
Lay down your money
and you play your part.
423
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:16,098
Everybody's got a
hungry heart.
424
00:25:24,220 --> 00:25:27,337
I met her in a Kingstown bar.
425
00:25:28,380 --> 00:25:31,770
We fell in love,
I knew it had to end.
426
00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:35,890
We took what we had
and we ripped it apart.
427
00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:40,256
Now here I am down in
Kingstown again.
428
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:44,217
Everybody's got
a hungry heart.
429
00:26:02,140 --> 00:26:03,778
You look sensational.
430
00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:07,219
You look very nice too, Sarah.
431
00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:09,735
Do you want us to sit anywhere
in particular?
432
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:11,697
Wherever you like. Just make
sure you face the table.
433
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:15,497
- Good evenings darlings.
- Hello.
434
00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:18,938
Carol will be down in a minute.
She's just gluing her hair on.
435
00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:20,729
All right if I sit here?
436
00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:22,777
- Maggie.
- Hello.
437
00:26:24,140 --> 00:26:25,812
Can I talk to you
for just a minute?
438
00:26:26,780 --> 00:26:27,690
Oh, certainly.
439
00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:31,858
I don't know what this about,
440
00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:35,695
but if something's hanging out my nose
and no-one's told me, it's trouble.
441
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,936
I need to sit next to Peter.
442
00:26:43,540 --> 00:26:45,974
Look...
443
00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:49,849
Why don't we go boy, girl,
boy... Maggie, yeah?
444
00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:51,209
Yes.
445
00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:54,779
You look lovely.
446
00:27:06,140 --> 00:27:08,859
... Greta Garbo and Georgia O'Keefe.
447
00:27:10,180 --> 00:27:14,298
And they used to keep this
Alsatian that used to lick them.
448
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:20,175
What's wrong with him?
449
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:22,895
Why?
450
00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:27,935
- Evening all.
- Hello.
451
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:30,771
Does this bother anyone?
I'll put it out.
452
00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:35,213
Oh, my Goodness!
453
00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:39,251
Oh, this? This is a just
something very expensive.
454
00:27:41,380 --> 00:27:43,735
Peter, this house is gorgeous.
455
00:27:43,900 --> 00:27:46,130
I wanted to buy an English mansion
in Bel Air,
456
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:49,815
but Andrew said it was vulgar.
457
00:27:49,980 --> 00:27:51,618
It was just like this,
only brand new.
458
00:27:51,780 --> 00:27:54,214
Excuse me.
Could you put that out, please?
459
00:27:55,220 --> 00:27:57,609
Carol, I think you've met
everyone.
460
00:27:57,780 --> 00:27:59,293
Peter of course you know.
Maggie.
461
00:27:59,660 --> 00:28:01,890
Sarah, Roger and...
462
00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,738
- I want to say Ebenezer...
- Brian.
463
00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:07,415
Brian, I'm so sorry. Brian's such
a close second behind Ebenezer.
464
00:28:07,740 --> 00:28:08,616
Hello, everybody.
465
00:28:08,780 --> 00:28:10,850
I've met Brian.
I'm surprised you're here.
466
00:28:11,020 --> 00:28:13,454
I thought you'd be
carrying bags somewhere.
467
00:28:16,780 --> 00:28:19,738
- What does she mean?
- It's all right, a private joke.
468
00:28:24,340 --> 00:28:27,013
- Hi, I'm Carol.
- Carol who took our Andrew away.
469
00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:29,216
Would you like him back?
It can be arranged.
470
00:28:31,020 --> 00:28:32,214
Everything's fine at home.
471
00:28:32,740 --> 00:28:33,695
I know.
472
00:28:36,180 --> 00:28:39,013
Paul, would you be a blessed poppet
and wine everybody up?
473
00:28:40,620 --> 00:28:42,770
Well, I'd just like to say...
474
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:44,931
before the festivities begin.
475
00:28:45,180 --> 00:28:46,090
Just a little.
476
00:28:46,260 --> 00:28:49,297
I haven't had alcohol since I was
pregnant with the twins.
477
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:51,615
I'd just like to...
478
00:28:51,780 --> 00:28:54,294
None for me and none for him.
We are A.A.
479
00:28:55,660 --> 00:28:57,810
- Yes, well, I'd say, and intend to...
- Sorry.
480
00:28:57,980 --> 00:28:59,333
Red, thanks.
481
00:29:01,820 --> 00:29:03,936
- Yes well, you...
- White for me, please.
482
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:04,691
I'm sorry.
483
00:29:05,460 --> 00:29:06,415
No, really...
484
00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:08,298
All I wanted to say...
485
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:11,778
was what I can think of
no finer, fluffier,
486
00:29:12,220 --> 00:29:14,688
shiner people
487
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:17,858
to see the New Year in with
your good selves.
488
00:29:18,220 --> 00:29:21,576
And I'd like you all to raise
your glasses...
489
00:29:23,820 --> 00:29:27,130
to old friends who should see
each other more often.
490
00:29:27,460 --> 00:29:29,769
- To old friends
- And their wives.
491
00:29:29,940 --> 00:29:31,168
And their wives.
492
00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:44,412
I warn you girls,
it is swimming in cream.
493
00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:46,935
Don't get me wrong.
494
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:51,814
If I'm looking kind of dazzled.
495
00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:56,898
I see neon lights.
496
00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:00,979
Whenever you walk by.
497
00:30:02,740 --> 00:30:05,015
Don't get me wrong.
498
00:30:07,340 --> 00:30:10,218
If I split life like a fruitcake.
499
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,779
I'm only after one thing.
500
00:30:16,660 --> 00:30:19,458
Across the moonlit night.
501
00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:23,693
Once in a while...
502
00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:26,138
two people meet,
503
00:30:27,260 --> 00:30:30,218
pass on the street.
504
00:30:31,820 --> 00:30:33,048
Suddenly thunder...
505
00:30:33,620 --> 00:30:35,417
showers everywhere.
506
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:37,816
Who can explain
the thunder and rain,
507
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:40,448
but there's something in the air.
508
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:48,655
Delicious.
509
00:30:50,340 --> 00:30:52,729
So, Carol,
tell me all about Hollywood.
510
00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:54,811
There's nothing to tell, really.
511
00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,096
It's a factory town, like Detroit.
512
00:30:57,260 --> 00:31:00,332
Hollywood is a community that
churns out entertainment.
513
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:03,776
Can I just say that I love
"Who's in The Kitchen?"
514
00:31:03,940 --> 00:31:05,498
Thank you very much.
515
00:31:06,140 --> 00:31:08,700
I'm embarrassed to say
I haven't seen it, sorry.
516
00:31:08,860 --> 00:31:10,851
I haven't had a chance
to watch it yet either.
517
00:31:11,020 --> 00:31:12,453
- When's it on?
- It's on at four.
518
00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:14,770
I'm glad none of you have seen it.
Because it's shit.
519
00:31:14,940 --> 00:31:16,009
It's not shit.
520
00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:17,818
It's shit with a capital "sh".
521
00:31:17,980 --> 00:31:20,175
It's number 3 in the ratings.
522
00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:22,968
I was interested to hear you
describe Hollywood
523
00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:24,732
as a community, Carol.
524
00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:27,858
I mean all those high fences,
and security patrols and...
525
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,375
nobody ever talking
to each other.
526
00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:32,929
I was reminded of that remark
by Chesterton.
527
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:34,931
"A truly adventurous person
528
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:37,375
wouldn't cross the globe
or climb mountains.
529
00:31:37,540 --> 00:31:39,815
He'd just jump over
the his neighbour's fence".
530
00:31:39,980 --> 00:31:43,370
The real test of
an individual's character
531
00:31:43,540 --> 00:31:46,054
is to be dropped down
a random chimney...
532
00:31:46,220 --> 00:31:49,257
and to be able to get on with the set
of people he finds there.
533
00:31:49,420 --> 00:31:52,173
If you think about it, that's what
happens to us when we're born.
534
00:31:52,340 --> 00:31:55,537
We have to get on with
the strangers we find there.
535
00:31:55,700 --> 00:31:57,975
Isn't typical of Chesterton
thought to describe a...
536
00:31:58,140 --> 00:32:00,335
chimney as a kind of uterus.
537
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:02,252
Typical, it's really typical.
538
00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:05,849
Sarah...
539
00:32:06,340 --> 00:32:09,138
Would you like a special
room set aside or something?
540
00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:10,733
I'm sorry.
541
00:32:11,580 --> 00:32:15,368
We haven't been together long.
Sometimes we get carried away.
542
00:32:16,300 --> 00:32:17,858
That's very romantic.
543
00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:21,933
The first time we fucked
each other was in a phone box.
544
00:32:26,180 --> 00:32:29,490
Brian is in the production of
"Cherry Orchard" I'm costuming.
545
00:32:29,660 --> 00:32:32,333
And it is not a patch on
"Who's in The Kitchen".
546
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:35,298
Actually, I based it on
the "The Cherry Orchard".
547
00:32:35,460 --> 00:32:36,495
Extraordinary coincidence.
548
00:32:36,660 --> 00:32:39,094
- Can I just make a phone call?
- Of course.
549
00:32:40,820 --> 00:32:42,014
Sorry.
550
00:32:43,660 --> 00:32:46,333
- How is everything, Rog?
- Well, it's...
551
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:48,252
So Rog, what do you do?
552
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:50,536
I'm a jingle writer.
553
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,419
Those funny little tunes
at the end of commercials?
554
00:32:53,780 --> 00:32:56,248
Actually,
Roger and Mary are
555
00:32:56,420 --> 00:32:59,253
the number one jingle writers
in England, Brian.
556
00:32:59,420 --> 00:33:00,375
- Really?
- Yes.
557
00:33:00,540 --> 00:33:02,815
- No, not number one.
- Isn't that brilliant?
558
00:33:02,980 --> 00:33:05,130
What are you
working on now?
559
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:06,892
Is it, you know, top secret?
560
00:33:07,060 --> 00:33:09,415
It's a new coffee campaign.
561
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:11,491
Can you sing it for us?
562
00:33:11,660 --> 00:33:13,013
- Sing it for us now.
- No, no.
563
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:15,410
Please, go on.
All right then.
564
00:33:15,580 --> 00:33:17,093
I'll do one.
565
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:19,615
So name me a product.
566
00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:23,010
Oh right, I'll tell you what,
I'll do an airline.
567
00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:24,455
Fine, right,
here we go.
568
00:33:25,860 --> 00:33:27,896
Fly high.
569
00:33:30,340 --> 00:33:32,058
Fly with us.
570
00:33:33,460 --> 00:33:34,734
Come on, that's all right.
571
00:33:34,900 --> 00:33:37,698
Have to work on it a bit
to get it to rhyme, but it's okay.
572
00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:41,216
So how much would you make
for doing one of those?
573
00:33:41,580 --> 00:33:42,729
I make a living.
574
00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:45,130
Did you always want to be
a jingle writer?
575
00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:47,177
- No, but...
- I always wanted to be an actor.
576
00:33:47,340 --> 00:33:48,170
Did you?
577
00:33:48,340 --> 00:33:50,012
It's terribly funny.
578
00:33:50,180 --> 00:33:52,569
You are not at all the way
I thought you'd be.
579
00:33:52,740 --> 00:33:54,412
'Cause you seem really nice.
580
00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:56,855
And from everything I've read
about you in the newspapers,
581
00:33:57,020 --> 00:33:58,055
I thought you'd be...
582
00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:01,455
other.
583
00:34:03,220 --> 00:34:04,335
Other?
584
00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:07,298
Everything's fine.
585
00:34:07,860 --> 00:34:10,090
Just hearing about your
jingle writing.
586
00:34:10,260 --> 00:34:13,969
How do you do that,
a career and twins?
587
00:34:14,140 --> 00:34:16,051
In fact I was going to ask you...
588
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:19,178
whether you use your twins
in your commercials?
589
00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:21,410
I know very often in
the movies they do use twins.
590
00:34:21,580 --> 00:34:24,572
Like when one twin
starts to go off...
591
00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:26,492
- they just bring in the other one.
- Brian!
592
00:34:29,820 --> 00:34:31,048
Excuse me.
593
00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:38,933
Sorry, what?
594
00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:41,972
One of our twins died.
595
00:34:48,380 --> 00:34:51,292
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
596
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,809
It's not like me to put
my foot in it.
597
00:34:58,620 --> 00:35:00,178
I've got it,
598
00:35:00,460 --> 00:35:01,495
Listen...
599
00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:03,930
Fly high.
600
00:35:04,180 --> 00:35:06,853
Fly with me
and happy you'll be.
601
00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:13,936
How much would
I get paid for that?
602
00:35:14,100 --> 00:35:16,694
Somewhere in the region
of 12 millions pounds.
603
00:35:17,580 --> 00:35:19,969
Oh, Vera, that looks delicious.
What are they?
604
00:35:20,140 --> 00:35:22,370
"Petit Fours".
My very own recipe.
605
00:35:22,540 --> 00:35:24,895
None for me thank you.
Four's my unlucky number.
606
00:35:25,060 --> 00:35:26,618
Do you have "Petit Fives"?
607
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:28,333
It's a joke.
608
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:31,139
- Do you have any fresh fruit?
- Yes, it's in the kitchen.
609
00:35:32,260 --> 00:35:33,932
That could be really good, Carol.
610
00:35:34,100 --> 00:35:37,331
If you went in the kitchen
and you dropped something...
611
00:35:37,780 --> 00:35:40,248
you made a noise, then
we could say...
612
00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:41,978
"Who's in the kitchen?"
613
00:36:01,180 --> 00:36:02,454
I thought now would be
a good time,
614
00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:04,975
to get out the presents.
615
00:36:05,140 --> 00:36:06,653
Sarah and Brian...
616
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:08,776
I'm sorry, Maggie.
I didn't get you anything.
617
00:36:08,940 --> 00:36:11,056
I didn't get anyone else
anything either.
618
00:36:11,220 --> 00:36:13,893
Mags, Christmas was last week.
619
00:36:14,060 --> 00:36:16,574
Well you know, call them
New Year presents.
620
00:36:16,740 --> 00:36:18,537
Well New Year's Eve's
tomorrow, Maggie.
621
00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:21,294
Is this an English tradition
I don't know about?
622
00:36:21,460 --> 00:36:23,769
We always celebrate
December 30th.
623
00:36:23,940 --> 00:36:26,215
They're only little.
Don't make such a fuss.
624
00:36:26,380 --> 00:36:28,336
We didn't get you anything.
625
00:36:29,820 --> 00:36:31,970
Look just take
the fucking presents.
626
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:50,618
- Shall I get that?
- No.
627
00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:53,058
It'll be for Peter.
Leave it.
628
00:36:56,180 --> 00:36:57,249
I can't.
629
00:36:59,180 --> 00:37:02,695
Look, it's a naughty book.
"Erotic Eastern Art".
630
00:37:02,860 --> 00:37:03,656
Yeah.
631
00:37:06,540 --> 00:37:07,416
Yeah?
632
00:37:07,820 --> 00:37:09,538
Maggie's fine?
633
00:37:10,300 --> 00:37:11,574
Bit embarrassed.
634
00:37:12,300 --> 00:37:13,813
Don't mention it.
635
00:37:14,700 --> 00:37:16,258
Who was that on the phone?
636
00:37:16,420 --> 00:37:18,934
Mary got it. She thought it
might be the babysitter.
637
00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:24,092
Brian, it's for you.
638
00:37:25,220 --> 00:37:26,653
It's your wife.
639
00:37:29,820 --> 00:37:31,014
Christ!
640
00:37:39,140 --> 00:37:41,335
Oh, Maggie!
641
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:44,139
- Thanks.
- Maggie, this is lovely.
642
00:37:44,780 --> 00:37:47,533
So, Catch of the Day
is married, is he?
643
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,850
Who?
Brian, married?
644
00:37:50,020 --> 00:37:52,215
Not really.
He wants to divorce her.
645
00:37:52,380 --> 00:37:54,371
He left her one
before he met me,
646
00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:55,768
for a whole weekend.
647
00:37:57,220 --> 00:37:58,335
They don't sleep together.
648
00:37:59,580 --> 00:38:00,774
They don't.
649
00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:03,858
He was going to tell her, but didn't
want to spoil Christmas for the kid.
650
00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:05,976
- They've got a kid?
- A little boy.
651
00:38:06,140 --> 00:38:08,608
That's why he didn't leave her
years ago. For Nicholas' shake.
652
00:38:08,780 --> 00:38:10,418
Sarah!
653
00:38:10,820 --> 00:38:12,538
I don't know how she
found out he was here.
654
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:14,770
She thinks he's rehearsing
in Reading.
655
00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:16,817
Don't you think
we look great together?
656
00:38:17,620 --> 00:38:19,258
You never change, do you?
657
00:38:19,420 --> 00:38:20,489
What do you mean?
658
00:38:20,660 --> 00:38:22,616
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not condemning you.
659
00:38:22,780 --> 00:38:24,418
I hope it works out.
660
00:38:24,580 --> 00:38:25,899
I just don't know
where you find the energy.
661
00:38:26,460 --> 00:38:27,973
I can barely get round
the supermarket.
662
00:38:30,420 --> 00:38:32,695
- It'll work out.
- Well, I hope so.
663
00:38:32,860 --> 00:38:35,328
This one's different.
He really loves me.
664
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:37,331
I don't know you very well, Sarah.
665
00:38:37,500 --> 00:38:40,697
You're very pretty and I'm sure
you do marvellous things to his dick,
666
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,613
but believe me, they will
never leave their wife and kids.
667
00:38:44,340 --> 00:38:45,568
Brian will.
668
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:47,412
This time it's different.
669
00:38:47,580 --> 00:38:50,538
You always think that
and it's always the same.
670
00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:52,611
Remember how in love
you were with Andrew
671
00:38:52,780 --> 00:38:55,772
until he left that girl Carrie
and got engaged to you?
672
00:38:55,940 --> 00:38:58,329
Then you couldn't get rid
of him fast enough.
673
00:38:58,500 --> 00:38:59,649
Could she, Andrew?
674
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:05,855
I can't remember.
It was a long time ago.
675
00:39:06,020 --> 00:39:07,294
It was, you know...
676
00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:10,534
a different lifetime.
Thanks.
677
00:39:14,780 --> 00:39:16,338
I've left my wife.
678
00:39:17,780 --> 00:39:18,815
Darling!
679
00:39:24,300 --> 00:39:27,133
I've told her about us.
I've told her everything.
680
00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:31,375
Which of you friends of little faith
would like to apologise first?
681
00:39:31,540 --> 00:39:34,134
Good luck to both of you.
I'm going to bed.
682
00:39:34,300 --> 00:39:37,212
Thank you for dinner, Peter.
I enjoyed watching it.
683
00:39:37,660 --> 00:39:39,935
Now you have two
to choose from, Sarah.
684
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:42,056
Thanks, Mary.
Thanks a lot.
685
00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:47,296
Thank God.
Now I can have a fag.
686
00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:49,690
I'm not angry.
I'm just embarrassed.
687
00:39:49,860 --> 00:39:52,294
Is there anyone else down there
you used to sleep with?
688
00:39:52,460 --> 00:39:54,928
It was 10 years ago!
You were married to someone else.
689
00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:57,170
That is not the point.
I did not try to keep it a secret.
690
00:39:57,340 --> 00:39:58,455
I didn't try to
keep it a secret.
691
00:39:58,620 --> 00:40:00,656
I just didn't think it was
worth mentioning.
692
00:40:00,820 --> 00:40:03,175
You were engaged to
that fuck-monster
693
00:40:03,340 --> 00:40:05,615
and didn't think it was
worth mentioning?
694
00:40:05,780 --> 00:40:06,929
No, I didn't.
695
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:09,375
- So she was a fuck-monster.
- I did not say that.
696
00:40:09,540 --> 00:40:10,973
You did not deny it.
697
00:40:11,580 --> 00:40:14,413
- Do you still have feelings for her?
- Look, she's my friend.
698
00:40:14,580 --> 00:40:17,617
She is my very screwed up friend
who I am very fond of.
699
00:40:17,780 --> 00:40:21,329
She has a problem getting
involved with anyone available.
700
00:40:21,500 --> 00:40:23,297
- That's all.
- And what are you?
701
00:40:23,460 --> 00:40:24,370
I'm unavailable.
702
00:40:24,540 --> 00:40:26,770
And what is Brian,
now that he has left his wife?
703
00:40:26,940 --> 00:40:29,215
- He's available.
- So, where does that leave me?
704
00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:31,769
Sitting at the edge of the bed.
705
00:40:32,460 --> 00:40:34,974
You're being totally irrational.
706
00:40:35,140 --> 00:40:36,255
What the fuck is this?
707
00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:39,059
Are you angry because I didn't
mention I was engaged to Sarah,
708
00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:41,450
or are you angry because
you're married to me?
709
00:40:41,620 --> 00:40:42,575
I don't know!
710
00:40:44,780 --> 00:40:48,693
Carol, let's try not to
make a big deal out of this.
711
00:40:50,300 --> 00:40:53,053
I guess if we were
sleeping together, I wouldn't.
712
00:40:54,380 --> 00:40:58,089
I thought we using this vacation
to try and work things out.
713
00:40:59,380 --> 00:41:01,371
How are we going to
do that here?
714
00:41:01,980 --> 00:41:03,936
I'm stuck here
in a freezing drawing room
715
00:41:04,100 --> 00:41:06,489
with the cast of
Masterpiece Theatre.
716
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:09,049
Exactly how far do you think
we are going to get?
717
00:41:09,220 --> 00:41:12,576
They are my best friends.
I live in California.
718
00:41:13,020 --> 00:41:15,329
I see them once every century.
719
00:41:16,460 --> 00:41:19,418
Well, if that's what's
important to you,
720
00:41:19,860 --> 00:41:22,010
then go down and visit them.
721
00:41:22,620 --> 00:41:24,133
I'm going to bed.
722
00:41:34,380 --> 00:41:37,133
Remember that cabaret
we did in Bradford?
723
00:41:38,980 --> 00:41:40,299
That horrible thing.
724
00:41:40,460 --> 00:41:42,894
We went on after
The Fabulous Poodles.
725
00:41:43,060 --> 00:41:46,257
Now there was a band.
What happened to them?
726
00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:48,536
Don't know.
But we went on after them.
727
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:51,294
Peter was in the middle.
It was his opening monologue,
728
00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:53,337
and someone threw a glass.
729
00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:54,489
And Peter said:
730
00:41:54,660 --> 00:41:57,379
"If that happens again,
we're going straight home".
731
00:41:58,980 --> 00:42:00,811
Hundreds of glasses.
732
00:42:02,820 --> 00:42:04,617
- Hello, loves.
- Andrew...
733
00:42:05,140 --> 00:42:06,732
I hope I didn't drop you
in the poo.
734
00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:09,539
Don't worry, darling.
I live in the poo.
735
00:42:09,700 --> 00:42:11,019
Couldn't matter less.
736
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:14,015
But I am going to have a drink.
737
00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:15,250
Andrew...
738
00:42:16,060 --> 00:42:17,288
A soft drink.
739
00:42:20,620 --> 00:42:22,690
Now, are you telling
revue stories?
740
00:42:22,860 --> 00:42:24,532
Guilty, I'm afraid.
741
00:42:24,700 --> 00:42:27,692
- Remember Bradford?
- We've just done Bradford.
742
00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:30,249
Do one of those songs
you used to do.
743
00:42:30,420 --> 00:42:33,218
Look, if you won't tell me
your top secret coffee jingle,
744
00:42:33,380 --> 00:42:35,177
then at least you can do that.
745
00:42:35,340 --> 00:42:36,136
Go on, Rog.
746
00:42:38,820 --> 00:42:41,618
Roger, I did have the piano
tuned in your honour.
747
00:42:43,180 --> 00:42:44,579
- Go on!
- All right then.
748
00:42:44,980 --> 00:42:46,208
Only if Mary will sing.
749
00:42:46,380 --> 00:42:48,575
No, no.
I can't, I can't.
750
00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:50,298
All right.
751
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,658
- So, what's it to be?
- Something slow and squidgy.
752
00:42:58,300 --> 00:43:00,177
- A bit of the...?
- Yes, yes.
753
00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:03,779
How does it start?
754
00:43:04,060 --> 00:43:05,652
Good evening everybody.
755
00:43:05,820 --> 00:43:07,572
And welcome...
756
00:43:09,740 --> 00:43:11,731
Some day...
757
00:43:12,460 --> 00:43:15,020
when I'm awfully low.
758
00:43:16,780 --> 00:43:18,657
... cold.
759
00:43:19,260 --> 00:43:21,296
I will feel aglow
760
00:43:21,460 --> 00:43:24,930
just thinking of you.
761
00:43:26,180 --> 00:43:31,015
And the way you look
tonight.
762
00:43:35,460 --> 00:43:38,930
Oh, but you're lovely!
763
00:43:40,100 --> 00:43:42,694
With your smile so warm.
764
00:43:43,660 --> 00:43:45,855
And your cheeks so soft.
765
00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:52,258
There is nothing for me
but to love you.
766
00:43:53,820 --> 00:43:57,779
Just the way you look
tonight.
767
00:44:03,820 --> 00:44:08,974
With each word
your tenderness grows.
768
00:44:10,300 --> 00:44:14,339
Tearing my fear apart.
769
00:44:16,740 --> 00:44:19,413
And each laugh
770
00:44:19,900 --> 00:44:22,698
that wrinkles your nose.
771
00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:28,171
Touches my foolish heart.
772
00:44:29,860 --> 00:44:32,579
Lovely.
773
00:44:33,340 --> 00:44:35,615
Never, never change.
774
00:44:36,700 --> 00:44:39,214
Keep thy breathless charm.
775
00:44:40,140 --> 00:44:42,176
Won't you please arrange it.
776
00:44:42,340 --> 00:44:45,537
For I love you.
777
00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:50,612
Just the way you look
tonight.
778
00:44:55,020 --> 00:44:57,011
Never, never change.
779
00:44:57,980 --> 00:45:00,130
Keep thy breathless charm.
780
00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:02,256
Won't you please arrange it.
781
00:45:02,420 --> 00:45:05,298
For I love you.
782
00:45:06,580 --> 00:45:10,209
Just the way you look...
783
00:45:10,860 --> 00:45:13,977
tonight.
784
00:45:20,540 --> 00:45:22,531
Now do the coffee jingle.
785
00:45:26,940 --> 00:45:28,532
Oh, God!
786
00:45:32,780 --> 00:45:35,214
Everybody's
in show business over there.
787
00:45:35,380 --> 00:45:37,416
Look we need
a plumber the other day.
788
00:45:37,580 --> 00:45:39,810
I knew we were in trouble
when his van arrives
789
00:45:39,980 --> 00:45:42,619
"Plumber to the Stars"
on the top.
790
00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:45,897
Git walks in wearing the silliest
wig you've ever seen,
791
00:45:46,060 --> 00:45:48,449
and hands me
a script he's written
792
00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:51,214
for "Who's In The Kitchen?"
793
00:45:51,380 --> 00:45:54,053
- "Plumber".
- You are joking!
794
00:45:56,340 --> 00:45:58,012
Excuse me, Peter.
795
00:45:58,180 --> 00:46:00,569
I can't find the television
in my room. Where would it be?
796
00:46:01,620 --> 00:46:03,451
I'm terribly sorry,
I'm afraid there isn't one.
797
00:46:03,620 --> 00:46:05,258
Then can I borrow
someone else's?
798
00:46:05,420 --> 00:46:07,092
I can't go to sleep unless
I'm watching television.
799
00:46:07,260 --> 00:46:09,820
No, I'm afraid there isn't one
in the house.
800
00:46:09,980 --> 00:46:12,335
My father wasn't a big fan.
801
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,697
- I'm sure there's a radio somewhere.
- That's all right. I'll read.
802
00:46:17,780 --> 00:46:19,008
Does anyone have a book?
803
00:46:28,340 --> 00:46:30,456
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to do that.
804
00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:39,409
Oh, my Lord!
805
00:46:39,580 --> 00:46:40,979
I'm leaving now, Peter.
806
00:46:41,140 --> 00:46:43,779
Vera! What I can say?
Magnificent dinner.
807
00:46:46,540 --> 00:46:49,134
Paul and I'll be up after
breakfast tomorrow.
808
00:46:49,300 --> 00:46:51,416
- Why don't you stay for a drink?
- Perhaps tomorrow night.
809
00:46:51,580 --> 00:46:53,855
- Thank you, Vera.
- I'll be off home now.
810
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:56,011
Goodnight all.
Goodnight.
811
00:46:56,860 --> 00:46:59,533
I think Roger and I ought
to be off to bed.
812
00:47:00,420 --> 00:47:01,535
But it's only 10 o'clock.
813
00:47:01,700 --> 00:47:03,452
It was a long ride up.
814
00:47:03,620 --> 00:47:06,293
Better pace ourselves.
We're not 22 any more.
815
00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:08,576
- Sarah was 24.
- Shut up.
816
00:47:15,620 --> 00:47:17,099
Right, well I'll go.
817
00:47:19,740 --> 00:47:22,049
Brian,
How many wives do you have?
818
00:47:23,980 --> 00:47:25,493
I'm not going to panic.
Isn't for me.
819
00:47:26,060 --> 00:47:27,812
Okay. Night, night.
820
00:47:27,980 --> 00:47:29,857
Sleep well.
821
00:47:32,260 --> 00:47:34,171
Mary, it's for you.
It's your babysitter.
822
00:47:37,700 --> 00:47:39,531
What did she say?
How did she sound?
823
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:41,531
Absolutely fine.
824
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:44,214
She just asked if she could
speak to Mary.
825
00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:45,216
Christ!
826
00:47:45,380 --> 00:47:48,338
I don't know when this
constant panic is going to end.
827
00:47:49,420 --> 00:47:50,614
It's been 9 months now.
828
00:47:50,780 --> 00:47:53,578
There's a book I'll send you
when I get back to London.
829
00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:55,219
You just have to be patient.
830
00:47:55,380 --> 00:47:58,099
It's the worst thing that can happen
to a woman to lose a baby.
831
00:47:58,260 --> 00:48:00,569
Why is it the worst thing can happen
to a woman? What about man?
832
00:48:00,740 --> 00:48:03,049
Why does everyone think that
nothing happens to the man?
833
00:48:03,220 --> 00:48:06,257
Just 'cause I didn't birth to him
doesn't mean I don't...
834
00:48:07,540 --> 00:48:09,292
that I didn't love him.
835
00:48:13,620 --> 00:48:16,817
But this constant sense of
fucking doom in the air.
836
00:48:17,140 --> 00:48:18,937
Ben is normal healthy child,
837
00:48:19,100 --> 00:48:22,490
and if he even sniffles it's the
end of the fucking world.
838
00:48:25,700 --> 00:48:26,849
I'm sorry.
839
00:48:27,020 --> 00:48:29,011
It's not your problem.
840
00:48:29,180 --> 00:48:29,930
Don't be silly.
841
00:48:30,100 --> 00:48:32,011
I'm sorry Rog,
I didn't mean to imply...
842
00:48:32,180 --> 00:48:34,899
No, no, it's me,
it's Mary. Sorry.
843
00:48:40,420 --> 00:48:42,058
Ben has a slight temperature.
844
00:48:42,220 --> 00:48:45,178
Brenda called the doctor and he came
over and examined him immediately,
845
00:48:45,340 --> 00:48:48,298
and said it was nothing.
Probably a little cold.
846
00:48:48,700 --> 00:48:49,815
Oh, good!
847
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:53,251
That means we can all relax
and enjoy the weekend.
848
00:48:53,420 --> 00:48:54,535
So, I think we should go home.
849
00:48:54,700 --> 00:48:56,656
You just said
everything was fine.
850
00:48:56,820 --> 00:48:58,572
Do you think I can relax and enjoy the
weekend when he has a temperature?
851
00:48:58,740 --> 00:49:01,413
Why don't you wait till tomorrow
morning and then ring again?
852
00:49:01,580 --> 00:49:03,093
Well, it's obvious
you don't have children.
853
00:49:03,260 --> 00:49:05,933
- Mary!
- Well, that was unnecessary.
854
00:49:10,380 --> 00:49:12,132
None of us
855
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:15,294
can possibly imagine
what you've been through.
856
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:19,416
And your over-reaction
857
00:49:19,580 --> 00:49:22,094
is understandable.
858
00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:25,769
But it is an over-reaction.
859
00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:29,695
We haven't seen you so long,
860
00:49:31,180 --> 00:49:34,650
and we'd just like to spend
a bit of time with you.
861
00:49:36,540 --> 00:49:38,132
Now Sarah is right.
862
00:49:39,020 --> 00:49:42,535
Wait till the morning
and ring again.
863
00:49:48,100 --> 00:49:49,453
All right.
I'll try.
864
00:49:50,420 --> 00:49:52,376
I can't promise,
but I'll try.
865
00:49:54,940 --> 00:49:56,771
I just get so worried...
866
00:49:57,580 --> 00:50:00,219
I'm sorry, sorry.
867
00:50:00,380 --> 00:50:01,972
It's all right.
868
00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:03,858
Sarah, I'm sorry.
869
00:50:06,460 --> 00:50:07,370
Let's talk about it
upstairs.
870
00:50:08,100 --> 00:50:09,294
Night, night.
871
00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:15,898
Poor Roger and Mary.
872
00:50:16,660 --> 00:50:18,252
Well done, Mags.
873
00:50:18,780 --> 00:50:20,259
They'll work it out.
874
00:50:22,700 --> 00:50:25,692
Anyone want to come upstairs
and sleep with Carol and I?
875
00:50:25,860 --> 00:50:27,771
- Pardon?
- I'm not going up there.
876
00:50:27,940 --> 00:50:29,168
She'll kill me.
877
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,896
I am so glad
878
00:50:32,060 --> 00:50:34,779
to have been instrumental
in tarnishing absolutely
879
00:50:34,940 --> 00:50:36,532
everybody's relationships!
880
00:50:38,100 --> 00:50:39,499
Maggie, you and I seem
to be the only two people
881
00:50:39,660 --> 00:50:41,298
who even vaguely get on
with each other.
882
00:50:41,740 --> 00:50:44,459
- Will you marry me?
- Yes.
883
00:50:47,020 --> 00:50:49,056
I now pronounce us
man and wife.
884
00:50:55,580 --> 00:50:57,411
I'll tell you why
I am hysterical.
885
00:50:57,580 --> 00:50:59,889
What if Ben dies?
I won't be able to take it.
886
00:51:00,060 --> 00:51:02,415
So you're going to be there
every second, the rest of his life?
887
00:51:02,580 --> 00:51:03,808
Yes, if I can, yes.
888
00:51:03,980 --> 00:51:06,369
You are not going to go to sleep.
We're going to talk about this.
889
00:51:06,540 --> 00:51:08,053
We have talked about it.
890
00:51:08,220 --> 00:51:09,289
I can't!
891
00:51:09,460 --> 00:51:11,928
This is ruining our
marriage.
892
00:51:12,100 --> 00:51:12,771
I don't think so.
893
00:51:12,940 --> 00:51:16,171
We have a problem and if we
don't solve the problem,
894
00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:17,773
I don't know
what we're going to do.
895
00:51:17,940 --> 00:51:19,339
Why don't you leave then?
896
00:51:26,820 --> 00:51:28,094
I've thought about it.
897
00:51:32,420 --> 00:51:34,888
- Moving out the house?
- Moving out of the marriage.
898
00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:41,174
You'd leave me?
899
00:51:43,980 --> 00:51:46,175
I don't want to.
Mary I love you.
900
00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:52,060
But since Simon died I feel
like you hate me,
901
00:51:52,220 --> 00:51:54,495
and I can't live with
someone who hates me.
902
00:51:54,660 --> 00:51:56,332
- I don't hate you.
- It's like you blame me for this.
903
00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:58,775
- I loved Simon as much as you did.
- I know.
904
00:51:58,940 --> 00:52:01,659
I feel you think there was something
I could've done to keep him alive.
905
00:52:01,820 --> 00:52:04,015
If I had taken them
to my mother's...
906
00:52:04,180 --> 00:52:06,136
- none of this would have happened.
- I know.
907
00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:09,417
We didn't go to your mother's
because I didn't want to.
908
00:52:09,580 --> 00:52:12,174
If we'd been in the same room
we'd have noticed him not breathing.
909
00:52:12,340 --> 00:52:15,537
I wish something different
had happened that night.
910
00:52:16,740 --> 00:52:18,696
I put the babies to bed.
911
00:52:21,300 --> 00:52:23,973
And I went into the next room and
I watched television.
912
00:52:24,140 --> 00:52:26,210
I did the same thing that
we'd done every night.
913
00:52:26,380 --> 00:52:27,733
It just happened.
914
00:52:30,140 --> 00:52:31,698
It's not my fault.
915
00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:38,694
I know.
916
00:52:42,100 --> 00:52:43,419
I know.
917
00:52:43,580 --> 00:52:45,138
I'm being unreasonable.
918
00:52:45,980 --> 00:52:47,698
And I know...
919
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:50,811
I want to punish someone.
920
00:52:50,980 --> 00:52:53,938
I just want to blame someone
'cause it's so fucking unfair.
921
00:53:07,140 --> 00:53:08,095
Mary...
922
00:53:10,980 --> 00:53:12,254
we have Ben.
923
00:53:13,620 --> 00:53:15,690
We have each other.
924
00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:19,695
Simon will always be
part of our lives.
925
00:53:19,860 --> 00:53:21,373
I'll never forget him.
926
00:53:24,660 --> 00:53:28,096
We're still very
lucky people,
927
00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:31,368
and we've got a lot
to be thankful for.
928
00:53:39,180 --> 00:53:40,738
Don't leave me.
929
00:53:43,380 --> 00:53:45,336
I won't leave you.
930
00:53:46,700 --> 00:53:48,179
I won't leave you.
931
00:53:53,900 --> 00:53:55,379
Sarah, when are you
coming out?
932
00:53:59,660 --> 00:54:02,128
Are you sawing
something in there?
933
00:54:10,740 --> 00:54:11,650
Right.
934
00:54:12,260 --> 00:54:15,536
Get that beautiful
little arse over here.
935
00:54:17,380 --> 00:54:19,098
Brian, I'm very tired.
936
00:54:24,060 --> 00:54:26,620
I know just the thing...
937
00:54:26,940 --> 00:54:28,692
Brian... Don't!
938
00:54:29,820 --> 00:54:30,809
What's wrong?
939
00:54:31,700 --> 00:54:34,260
It's a very big step,
leaving your wife.
940
00:54:34,420 --> 00:54:36,854
You could have
consulted me first.
941
00:54:37,020 --> 00:54:39,898
You were the one who asked me
to leave her in the first place.
942
00:54:40,180 --> 00:54:41,454
Not yet.
943
00:54:41,620 --> 00:54:44,453
We've only known each other
two weeks.
944
00:54:44,940 --> 00:54:47,215
You said you knew
right away.
945
00:54:47,820 --> 00:54:48,696
Brian...
946
00:54:49,940 --> 00:54:51,373
you've got a kid.
947
00:54:53,180 --> 00:54:54,818
He could live with us.
948
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:57,456
I've not even met him.
949
00:54:59,860 --> 00:55:01,612
So that's your problem.
950
00:55:01,780 --> 00:55:04,169
You're worried that
Nicholas won't like you?
951
00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:06,739
Well, don't worry.
952
00:55:07,740 --> 00:55:10,300
He will love you just
as much as I do.
953
00:55:10,460 --> 00:55:11,256
Brian!
954
00:55:12,420 --> 00:55:14,376
I'm very tired.
955
00:55:31,060 --> 00:55:32,175
Peter!
956
00:55:36,460 --> 00:55:37,336
Who is it?
957
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:40,253
Peter, it's me. Maggie.
958
00:55:41,020 --> 00:55:42,055
Maggie?
959
00:55:43,300 --> 00:55:44,335
What...?
960
00:55:52,140 --> 00:55:53,858
Maggie, is everything all right?
961
00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:57,733
Fill me with your
little babies.
962
00:55:58,180 --> 00:55:59,659
Oh, my God!
963
00:56:00,980 --> 00:56:02,698
I think you'd better
come inside.
964
00:56:04,260 --> 00:56:06,933
No, no, no,
by all things godly, no!
965
00:56:07,100 --> 00:56:08,374
What are you doing?
966
00:56:08,540 --> 00:56:11,259
You have to give
our relationship a chance.
967
00:56:11,420 --> 00:56:13,456
- What?
- I've only just realised.
968
00:56:13,740 --> 00:56:14,855
I love you.
969
00:56:15,020 --> 00:56:18,808
Mags, I love you too,
but we're friends.
970
00:56:19,140 --> 00:56:21,859
Exactly! We're perfect
for each other.
971
00:56:22,100 --> 00:56:25,490
Most marriages are sparked off
by a physical attraction
972
00:56:25,660 --> 00:56:27,412
that wears off
within the first year.
973
00:56:27,580 --> 00:56:30,413
We've known each other for 10
years. We know we get along.
974
00:56:30,580 --> 00:56:33,014
We can learn to love
each other sexually.
975
00:56:33,820 --> 00:56:35,299
It's perfect.
976
00:56:35,860 --> 00:56:38,533
No, please.
Keep that on.
977
00:56:39,100 --> 00:56:40,931
Mags, I don't know
what to say.
978
00:56:41,100 --> 00:56:43,819
Don't say anything.
Just please give it a chance.
979
00:56:43,980 --> 00:56:46,289
Maggie, your offer
is very tempting.
980
00:56:46,460 --> 00:56:49,736
I do not want to put
our friendship in jeopardy.
981
00:56:59,140 --> 00:57:00,619
You just don't fancy me?
982
00:57:00,780 --> 00:57:02,338
No, no, no.
983
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:04,889
Maggie, you're very attractive,
984
00:57:05,660 --> 00:57:07,298
and intelligent and sexy.
985
00:57:09,420 --> 00:57:11,854
How can I put this delicately?
986
00:57:12,140 --> 00:57:15,689
It's just that I'm not really
in the vagina business.
987
00:57:16,980 --> 00:57:19,494
You slept with Sarah.
I know you did.
988
00:57:19,660 --> 00:57:22,857
My dear, the Archbishop
of Canterbury has slept with Sarah.
989
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:24,419
And it was years ago.
990
00:57:24,700 --> 00:57:26,816
Are you telling me
you're gay?
991
00:57:27,340 --> 00:57:31,333
Well, I never disguised the fact
I'm a bit of a whoopsie,
992
00:57:32,420 --> 00:57:34,172
but to be honest with you,
993
00:57:34,340 --> 00:57:36,934
I think I'm what is
commonly termed "bisexual".
994
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:38,613
Which is by the by,
995
00:57:38,780 --> 00:57:41,977
because actually I no longer
sleep with men or women.
996
00:57:43,780 --> 00:57:44,895
But if I did,
997
00:57:45,060 --> 00:57:47,733
I promise you'd be up there
on my wish list,
998
00:57:47,900 --> 00:57:50,812
together with Michelle Pfeiffer
and River Phoenix.
999
00:57:54,180 --> 00:57:55,738
I'm so embarrassed.
1000
00:57:57,620 --> 00:57:58,496
Look Maggie,
1001
00:57:58,660 --> 00:58:01,811
why don't you go back
to your room,
1002
00:58:02,420 --> 00:58:04,615
and we'll pretend
this never happened?
1003
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:08,092
Don't tell anyone.
1004
00:58:08,580 --> 00:58:10,138
Not a soul.
1005
00:58:21,580 --> 00:58:25,732
You must understand
through the touch of your hand
1006
00:58:26,020 --> 00:58:28,454
makes my pulse react.
1007
00:58:30,740 --> 00:58:33,300
That it's only the thrill,
1008
00:58:33,700 --> 00:58:35,611
boy meeting girl,
1009
00:58:35,780 --> 00:58:37,771
opposites attract.
1010
00:58:37,940 --> 00:58:39,976
It's physical.
1011
00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:46,857
You must try to ignore
that it means more than that.
1012
00:58:48,380 --> 00:58:51,895
What's love got to do with it?
1013
00:58:52,860 --> 00:58:57,217
What's love but
a second hand emotion?
1014
00:58:57,660 --> 00:59:01,130
What's love got to do with it?
1015
00:59:01,780 --> 00:59:05,693
Who needs a heart
when a heart can be broken?
1016
00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:09,691
What's love got to do with it?
1017
00:59:10,740 --> 00:59:14,938
What's love but a sweet,
old-fashioned notion?
1018
00:59:15,340 --> 00:59:18,776
What's love got to do with it?
1019
00:59:19,540 --> 00:59:23,658
Who needs a heart
when a heart can be broken?
1020
00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:42,335
Hello.
1021
00:59:42,860 --> 00:59:43,690
Hello.
1022
00:59:48,180 --> 00:59:50,171
- What you doing?
- Donkey kicks.
1023
00:59:50,460 --> 00:59:52,178
I've eaten everything
in the place,
1024
00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:54,490
and I'm trying to
work it off before morning.
1025
00:59:54,820 --> 00:59:55,855
I used to be bulimic.
1026
00:59:56,020 --> 00:59:58,818
A year ago I'd be in the bathroom
throwing it all up.
1027
00:59:58,980 --> 01:00:00,299
I'm much healthier now.
1028
01:00:05,420 --> 01:00:06,773
What are you doing down here?
1029
01:00:08,980 --> 01:00:11,892
Just came down here
to drink myself into a coma.
1030
01:00:13,300 --> 01:00:14,449
Get turned down by Peter?
1031
01:00:19,380 --> 01:00:21,098
It was all so embarrassing.
1032
01:00:22,900 --> 01:00:26,017
I wanted to kill myself.
1033
01:00:31,100 --> 01:00:33,819
Calm down and
tell me what happened.
1034
01:00:35,820 --> 01:00:37,617
I can help you
if you tell me.
1035
01:00:38,460 --> 01:00:41,258
I've had every man problem
under the sun.
1036
01:00:43,060 --> 01:00:45,449
I don't think you'd understand.
1037
01:00:46,220 --> 01:00:49,929
Honey, therapists call me
for advice.
1038
01:00:50,100 --> 01:00:51,419
This is different.
1039
01:00:52,020 --> 01:00:53,419
Different, schmifferent.
1040
01:00:53,740 --> 01:00:54,889
Talk to me.
1041
01:00:59,860 --> 01:01:01,851
He's a bisexual.
1042
01:01:03,340 --> 01:01:05,774
I was married to a bisexual.
1043
01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:07,696
Really?
1044
01:01:09,020 --> 01:01:10,214
What happened?
1045
01:01:10,980 --> 01:01:12,652
What happened?
He left me.
1046
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,934
For another woman.
The ultimate put-down.
1047
01:01:24,620 --> 01:01:26,053
I'll run tomorrow.
1048
01:01:27,980 --> 01:01:29,413
So, tell me what happened.
1049
01:01:30,900 --> 01:01:32,572
I read this book...
1050
01:01:33,860 --> 01:01:36,658
which said that if...
1051
01:01:39,460 --> 01:01:41,291
you know someone already,
1052
01:01:41,460 --> 01:01:44,452
that was the ideal person
with which to have
1053
01:01:44,940 --> 01:01:46,373
a long-lasting relationship.
1054
01:01:47,180 --> 01:01:48,329
Good theory.
1055
01:01:48,780 --> 01:01:51,852
So Peter is someone
I love and trust.
1056
01:01:53,060 --> 01:01:53,856
And what happened?
1057
01:01:54,020 --> 01:01:55,692
The book said to be direct.
1058
01:01:55,860 --> 01:01:59,409
That subtle signals
can be misconstrued.
1059
01:02:02,580 --> 01:02:05,572
So I went to his room
and took my clothes off.
1060
01:02:06,980 --> 01:02:09,016
That's direct.
What happened then?
1061
01:02:09,460 --> 01:02:12,497
He said he wasn't
in the vagina business.
1062
01:02:14,020 --> 01:02:15,419
That's direct too.
1063
01:02:16,980 --> 01:02:19,813
Has Peter ever been
in the vagina business?
1064
01:02:20,180 --> 01:02:22,171
Yes, he slept with Sarah.
1065
01:02:23,060 --> 01:02:25,972
There's a surprise.
Was she engaged to Peter too?
1066
01:02:26,140 --> 01:02:28,017
No, they just had
a brief affair.
1067
01:02:30,340 --> 01:02:31,773
Is Peter gay now?
1068
01:02:32,420 --> 01:02:34,138
I don't think so.
1069
01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:38,934
That's why I think
there's still hope.
1070
01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:42,450
He isn't sleeping with anybody.
1071
01:02:43,620 --> 01:02:44,848
Neither am I.
1072
01:02:45,540 --> 01:02:47,974
Neither am I,
but that's another story.
1073
01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:50,415
And I'm almost out of ice-cream.
Okay.
1074
01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:56,494
Here's what I think
you should do:
1075
01:02:57,780 --> 01:02:59,372
Let me make you over.
1076
01:02:59,540 --> 01:03:00,939
Make me over?
1077
01:03:01,460 --> 01:03:04,133
Maggie,
you are a very pretty girl.
1078
01:03:04,300 --> 01:03:06,097
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
1079
01:03:06,260 --> 01:03:07,579
- No, I'm not.
- Yes!
1080
01:03:07,980 --> 01:03:10,574
But you make Mother Theresa
look like a hooker.
1081
01:03:14,340 --> 01:03:16,171
Come on, loosen up.
Have some fun.
1082
01:04:13,940 --> 01:04:15,453
Dear Lord,
1083
01:04:16,820 --> 01:04:18,378
give me strength
1084
01:04:19,980 --> 01:04:22,210
to carry on.
1085
01:04:23,620 --> 01:04:25,258
Maggie, it's me.
Carol!
1086
01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:26,770
Quick!
1087
01:04:27,140 --> 01:04:28,937
Dear Lord,
1088
01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:31,732
give me strength
1089
01:04:33,500 --> 01:04:35,616
to carry on.
1090
01:04:39,820 --> 01:04:42,175
That all may be...
1091
01:04:43,420 --> 01:04:45,536
out on the highway.
1092
01:04:48,220 --> 01:04:51,656
All I've done and much more.
1093
01:04:53,980 --> 01:04:55,493
Please,
1094
01:04:56,740 --> 01:04:58,253
give me strength
1095
01:04:59,420 --> 01:05:01,695
to carry on.
1096
01:05:07,260 --> 01:05:08,978
Dear Lord,
1097
01:05:10,100 --> 01:05:12,216
give me strength
1098
01:05:14,340 --> 01:05:15,659
to carry on.
1099
01:05:15,820 --> 01:05:17,572
- Morning.
- Hello, my darling.
1100
01:05:19,500 --> 01:05:21,855
I've written something
that I want to show you.
1101
01:05:22,300 --> 01:05:24,131
It's called: 'Plumber'.
1102
01:05:25,020 --> 01:05:26,294
No, actually it's this.
1103
01:05:26,460 --> 01:05:28,655
I found this when I was
moving some stuff up there.
1104
01:05:28,820 --> 01:05:31,732
It's that play we wrote.
Well, the first half of it anyway.
1105
01:05:31,900 --> 01:05:33,731
- What's it like?
- It's awful...
1106
01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:35,533
- with glimpses.
- Oh, God!
1107
01:05:35,700 --> 01:05:39,056
I felt like a slimy bastard,
running of to the States like that.
1108
01:05:39,220 --> 01:05:40,096
Did you mind?
1109
01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:42,208
Did I mind?
1110
01:05:42,820 --> 01:05:46,176
We'd invested 6 months
in writing that, and you dropped it,
1111
01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:48,570
after one phone call
from America.
1112
01:05:48,740 --> 01:05:51,174
- Why should I mind?
- I'm so sorry, Peter.
1113
01:05:51,740 --> 01:05:53,412
Water under the bridge,
my petal.
1114
01:05:53,580 --> 01:05:57,016
The first of many unfinished projects
of which I litter the decade.
1115
01:05:57,180 --> 01:05:58,613
That's still a good joke.
1116
01:05:58,780 --> 01:06:00,816
Ruth says:
"I've never fallen in love.
1117
01:06:00,980 --> 01:06:02,459
But I've stepped in it
a few times".
1118
01:06:02,620 --> 01:06:05,214
The scene between the three
of them, end of the first act...
1119
01:06:05,380 --> 01:06:07,052
It was good. It was yours.
1120
01:06:07,220 --> 01:06:08,778
Well, I've read worse.
1121
01:06:09,700 --> 01:06:12,737
Oh, my God!
You look great!
1122
01:06:13,140 --> 01:06:15,574
Miss Perkins... you're beautiful.
1123
01:06:15,900 --> 01:06:17,128
You've been...
1124
01:06:17,300 --> 01:06:18,528
Christmas Caroled.
1125
01:06:18,700 --> 01:06:20,975
She has bones
I would die for.
1126
01:06:21,140 --> 01:06:23,335
Well, breakfast anyone?
1127
01:06:24,620 --> 01:06:27,532
I'm starving, but I don't want
to mess up my lipstick.
1128
01:06:27,700 --> 01:06:28,610
Or your bones.
1129
01:06:28,780 --> 01:06:32,216
I'm sure we could feed you
eggs through a straw.
1130
01:06:32,380 --> 01:06:34,336
I'll just have some coffee.
Do you have any 'Equal'?
1131
01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:36,616
I'm sorry, I'm famous
for having no equal.
1132
01:06:36,780 --> 01:06:38,418
I've got some in my purse.
1133
01:06:39,020 --> 01:06:40,658
What the hell is that?
1134
01:06:41,740 --> 01:06:43,935
Is someone building a barn?
1135
01:06:45,340 --> 01:06:46,898
I think it must be
Sarah and Brian.
1136
01:06:47,060 --> 01:06:48,812
I can't believe Sarah.
1137
01:06:48,980 --> 01:06:51,619
She seems to exist on a diet
of fresh air and bonking.
1138
01:06:51,780 --> 01:06:53,259
You would know.
1139
01:06:54,460 --> 01:06:55,575
Morning, guys.
1140
01:06:56,740 --> 01:06:59,937
That's what I call
an extremely long dick.
1141
01:07:03,300 --> 01:07:06,337
Well, if it isn't
Sarah and Brian, is it us?
1142
01:07:07,380 --> 01:07:08,859
- Mags...
- Yes?
1143
01:07:09,460 --> 01:07:11,451
- A new look.
- It was Carol.
1144
01:07:16,260 --> 01:07:18,376
Then it can only be
Roger and Mary.
1145
01:07:18,540 --> 01:07:21,452
I assume they resolved
their differences last night.
1146
01:07:22,420 --> 01:07:24,331
This is the acid test.
1147
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:35,094
Darlings!
1148
01:07:35,620 --> 01:07:37,770
Excuse me.
I'd better go.
1149
01:07:40,660 --> 01:07:43,049
Where's Oscar Wilde
this morning?
1150
01:07:43,780 --> 01:07:45,008
Lover Boy.
1151
01:07:45,180 --> 01:07:47,899
The Prince of Panache.
Long Dong Silver.
1152
01:07:48,060 --> 01:07:50,335
He's taking a shower.
A cold one, I hope.
1153
01:07:50,820 --> 01:07:53,732
Do I detect a hint of trouble
in The Garden of Shag?
1154
01:07:53,900 --> 01:07:55,856
- Intermission.
- Carol, it's for you.
1155
01:07:56,180 --> 01:07:58,455
From Los Angeles.
Somebody called Bernie.
1156
01:07:58,620 --> 01:08:00,212
You told me you weren't
giving anyone our number.
1157
01:08:00,380 --> 01:08:01,893
- Just Bernie.
- Especially Bernie.
1158
01:08:02,060 --> 01:08:04,369
He said he would only call
if it was an emergency.
1159
01:08:04,540 --> 01:08:06,656
Leftovers for breakfast everyone?
1160
01:08:08,340 --> 01:08:10,137
Where's all the food?
1161
01:08:10,460 --> 01:08:13,213
Vera wrapped it up and put it
in there last night.
1162
01:08:13,380 --> 01:08:14,449
I saw her.
1163
01:08:14,620 --> 01:08:16,895
Food disappearing
in the middle of the night.
1164
01:08:17,060 --> 01:08:18,334
I smell a Carol.
1165
01:08:18,500 --> 01:08:21,060
Not wishing to pry, but are you
and she entirely happy together?
1166
01:08:21,220 --> 01:08:21,891
We're fine.
1167
01:08:22,060 --> 01:08:24,449
Just getting on each other's
nerves a little.
1168
01:08:24,620 --> 01:08:25,450
I can relate.
1169
01:08:25,620 --> 01:08:27,133
Brian's getting on my nerves.
1170
01:08:27,300 --> 01:08:29,450
I hardly think
my 3 year old marriage
1171
01:08:29,620 --> 01:08:31,656
compares to your 2 weeks
old fuck fest.
1172
01:08:31,820 --> 01:08:32,935
I just commit very early.
1173
01:08:33,620 --> 01:08:36,180
The self knowledge
of Zsa Zsa Gabor.
1174
01:08:36,340 --> 01:08:37,614
What do you mean by that?
1175
01:08:37,780 --> 01:08:39,975
That you are stuck in
a recurring pattern.
1176
01:08:40,140 --> 01:08:41,892
You know those mice that go around
on those little wheels?
1177
01:08:42,100 --> 01:08:43,738
Lmagine one wearing
a tight leather skirt.
1178
01:08:43,900 --> 01:08:45,538
We can't all have our lives
figured out as well as you do.
1179
01:08:45,700 --> 01:08:48,772
I didn't say that, I said I had
your life figured out, love.
1180
01:08:48,940 --> 01:08:52,171
I'm sick of everyone
judging everything I do.
1181
01:08:52,340 --> 01:08:53,978
I'm going for a walk.
1182
01:08:56,540 --> 01:08:59,259
That's a nice way
to start the morning.
1183
01:08:59,420 --> 01:09:01,058
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it...
1184
01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:03,893
I'm sure you didn't mean to
but I rather think you did.
1185
01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:06,977
What did Bernie have to say then?
1186
01:09:07,140 --> 01:09:09,256
Can I get you some eggs, toast?
1187
01:09:09,420 --> 01:09:11,809
- Must be bad.
- I think I'll...
1188
01:09:13,420 --> 01:09:14,409
Okay.
1189
01:09:14,940 --> 01:09:16,976
Give it to me straight.
I can take it.
1190
01:09:17,140 --> 01:09:18,971
It's a film, Andrew.
1191
01:09:19,660 --> 01:09:22,174
Shelley Long has dropped out.
It's shooting in Montana.
1192
01:09:22,340 --> 01:09:23,853
And they said they need
a fast replacement.
1193
01:09:24,020 --> 01:09:25,373
- When does it start shooting?
- Monday.
1194
01:09:25,540 --> 01:09:27,292
Oh, Jesus, Carol
you'd have to leave like...
1195
01:09:27,820 --> 01:09:29,412
There's a flight tonight.
1196
01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:34,412
- Lf you really want...
- It's a film, Andrew.
1197
01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:37,694
It's a film.
Well this is a marriage.
1198
01:09:38,180 --> 01:09:42,093
If I thought for one second that
you intended to try...
1199
01:09:45,740 --> 01:09:46,775
Fine.
1200
01:09:47,740 --> 01:09:49,810
Then tell Bernie
you'll take it.
1201
01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:51,975
Okay.
1202
01:09:54,420 --> 01:09:56,058
You already have,
haven't you?
1203
01:09:57,180 --> 01:09:58,169
Great.
1204
01:10:00,260 --> 01:10:01,693
Morning.
1205
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:10,060
- An airline pilot?
- Fighter pilot.
1206
01:10:10,220 --> 01:10:12,415
What on earth would make
you want to do that?
1207
01:10:12,580 --> 01:10:14,855
- Top Gun.
- I'm sorry?
1208
01:10:15,300 --> 01:10:17,814
Top Gun.
You seen it?
1209
01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:20,335
I've seen it 63 times.
Bloody brilliant.
1210
01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:24,015
- Is that the one with Tom Cruise?
- And Kelly McGillis.
1211
01:10:25,500 --> 01:10:28,492
She's what really made me want to
became a fighter pilot, not him.
1212
01:10:28,660 --> 01:10:31,254
- Why?
- I want to go to that school she runs.
1213
01:10:31,420 --> 01:10:34,969
For fighter pilots.
That'd be bloody brilliant.
1214
01:10:35,220 --> 01:10:36,096
Hi.
1215
01:10:36,860 --> 01:10:38,009
Blimey!
1216
01:10:38,420 --> 01:10:39,933
Hello, Maggie.
1217
01:10:40,100 --> 01:10:41,692
What am I doing?
1218
01:10:48,540 --> 01:10:50,690
Let me say, since
1219
01:10:52,700 --> 01:10:55,214
we've been together,
1220
01:10:57,540 --> 01:10:59,610
loving you forever.
1221
01:11:01,140 --> 01:11:02,334
Naughty.
1222
01:11:03,540 --> 01:11:04,939
You frightened me.
1223
01:11:05,100 --> 01:11:06,499
I'm sorry, Sarah.
1224
01:11:08,740 --> 01:11:11,095
Sorry about this morning
in the kitchen.
1225
01:11:11,820 --> 01:11:14,288
I didn't mean to be
judgmental.
1226
01:11:14,500 --> 01:11:15,853
I'm certainly no-one to talk.
1227
01:11:16,020 --> 01:11:18,250
I was just sitting here trying
to work exactly
1228
01:11:18,420 --> 01:11:19,739
how I ruined my life.
1229
01:11:19,900 --> 01:11:21,458
You think you're in trouble?
1230
01:11:21,620 --> 01:11:23,895
I just tried to fuck a six year old.
1231
01:11:24,060 --> 01:11:27,211
It's like kindergarten, school,
university...
1232
01:11:27,380 --> 01:11:29,655
- black hole.
- It's not that bad.
1233
01:11:29,820 --> 01:11:32,653
Yes it is. In fact,
it's slightly worse than that.
1234
01:11:33,940 --> 01:11:35,453
Do you and Carol
love each other?
1235
01:11:36,420 --> 01:11:37,614
I owe her a lot.
1236
01:11:37,980 --> 01:11:40,972
She hired me when a lot
other people wouldn't touch me.
1237
01:11:41,140 --> 01:11:44,416
- Did you really used to drink a lot?
- Like a pissed fish, darling.
1238
01:11:44,580 --> 01:11:48,289
She understood. She had a parking-
space next to me in the aquarium.
1239
01:11:48,460 --> 01:11:51,930
Weird thought: That the pair of us
stopping drinking
1240
01:11:52,100 --> 01:11:53,738
would make things simpler.
1241
01:11:55,060 --> 01:11:56,812
It's just made them
more complicated.
1242
01:11:57,780 --> 01:12:01,011
I'm disappointed in you.
You used to be so romantic.
1243
01:12:01,180 --> 01:12:03,136
Well, but now
I'm rheumatic.
1244
01:12:03,740 --> 01:12:05,537
Actually, that's it, isn't it?
1245
01:12:05,700 --> 01:12:07,816
People think you're
addicted to sex.
1246
01:12:07,980 --> 01:12:10,778
You're addicted to romance.
And the moment it gets real...
1247
01:12:10,940 --> 01:12:13,932
like this poor bastard Brian
leaving his wife,
1248
01:12:14,580 --> 01:12:15,695
you run for cover.
1249
01:12:16,140 --> 01:12:19,530
Where's the Andrew who used to
scale the college wall
1250
01:12:19,700 --> 01:12:21,338
to play with me all night long?
1251
01:12:22,020 --> 01:12:24,295
Everything's different now, Sarah.
1252
01:12:26,540 --> 01:12:27,973
Everything's different.
1253
01:12:29,580 --> 01:12:32,652
I wonder what would've happened
if we'd stayed together.
1254
01:12:33,300 --> 01:12:36,098
Is that a come-on
or an honest enquiry?
1255
01:12:38,660 --> 01:12:40,571
It's an honest... come-on.
1256
01:12:50,460 --> 01:12:53,213
I was going to tell Bernie
I wasn't available, but...
1257
01:12:53,820 --> 01:12:55,572
I guess I am.
1258
01:12:57,900 --> 01:12:59,333
Wonderful.
1259
01:13:01,500 --> 01:13:04,298
Just listen.
Daddy loves you very much.
1260
01:13:05,220 --> 01:13:07,256
I promise.
I'll see you next week.
1261
01:13:07,500 --> 01:13:09,968
No, Nicholas,
I will see you next week.
1262
01:13:10,140 --> 01:13:12,256
I promise.
I'll take to the zoo.
1263
01:13:12,540 --> 01:13:14,656
No, I love mummy, too.
1264
01:13:16,340 --> 01:13:18,092
I love mummy, too.
1265
01:13:18,820 --> 01:13:20,617
Nicholas, I love you.
1266
01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:22,930
I promise
I'll see you next week.
1267
01:13:30,060 --> 01:13:31,891
What are you thinking?
1268
01:13:33,900 --> 01:13:36,778
I was just wondering who
that phone call was for.
1269
01:13:39,060 --> 01:13:40,618
Well you know, Roger,
1270
01:13:41,180 --> 01:13:43,535
I think if it had been for us,
1271
01:13:43,700 --> 01:13:45,577
someone would have told us.
1272
01:13:46,020 --> 01:13:49,774
I mean, absolutely
no question about it at all.
1273
01:13:49,940 --> 01:13:51,419
You cheeky bitch.
1274
01:13:51,580 --> 01:13:52,695
No!
1275
01:13:53,980 --> 01:13:55,333
Not the buttons.
1276
01:13:58,380 --> 01:14:00,291
- Can I help?
- No need.
1277
01:14:00,460 --> 01:14:02,928
There must be something
I can do.
1278
01:14:03,660 --> 01:14:04,934
All right.
1279
01:14:06,500 --> 01:14:08,968
If you get on with that there.
Thin slices.
1280
01:14:09,140 --> 01:14:10,971
Mushrooms.
I see.
1281
01:14:16,420 --> 01:14:19,139
Thanks so much for coming up
this weekend.
1282
01:14:19,300 --> 01:14:22,497
I wouldn't have been able to have
my friends here if it weren't for you.
1283
01:14:23,820 --> 01:14:25,412
I'll miss this house.
1284
01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:27,179
Do you have any plans?
1285
01:14:28,420 --> 01:14:30,331
Paul wants to learn to fly.
1286
01:14:30,940 --> 01:14:32,817
Saw a film called "Top Gun".
1287
01:14:34,380 --> 01:14:36,496
I'm going to retire.
1288
01:14:37,940 --> 01:14:39,532
I'm going to watch videos.
1289
01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:41,736
Best thing that ever happened.
1290
01:14:42,020 --> 01:14:44,409
If I did decide to keep
the house,
1291
01:14:45,060 --> 01:14:47,290
is there any chance you'd stay on?
1292
01:14:50,660 --> 01:14:53,618
To me, this will always be
your father's house.
1293
01:14:54,220 --> 01:14:56,370
I don't want to see it change.
1294
01:14:57,020 --> 01:15:00,410
And you don't want me around
with all of my opinions.
1295
01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:03,048
Those are too thick.
Do them again, please.
1296
01:15:03,220 --> 01:15:04,050
Opinions?
1297
01:15:04,220 --> 01:15:06,176
How you live your life
is none of my business.
1298
01:15:06,340 --> 01:15:08,535
My life,
you mean my sex life?
1299
01:15:08,700 --> 01:15:10,691
Please, I don't want to talk about it.
It's none of my business.
1300
01:15:15,380 --> 01:15:16,449
Is that better?
1301
01:15:16,660 --> 01:15:18,571
Much better.
Put it in the pot, please.
1302
01:15:21,540 --> 01:15:24,771
- How's your family?
- Don't you have a fucking go at me.
1303
01:15:25,180 --> 01:15:28,252
I saw you down there with that
fucking wood-chopping guy.
1304
01:15:28,420 --> 01:15:29,296
What?
1305
01:15:30,100 --> 01:15:33,331
I have laid my life
on the line for you, Sarah.
1306
01:15:33,500 --> 01:15:36,492
And the moment I make some kind
of commitment to you
1307
01:15:36,660 --> 01:15:39,174
you're off with some
fucking wood-chopping guy.
1308
01:15:39,660 --> 01:15:42,936
I dunno, maybe we have made
some terrible mistake here.
1309
01:15:43,100 --> 01:15:44,977
The thought had crossed my mind.
1310
01:15:45,540 --> 01:15:48,134
It's a bit fucking late for that.
1311
01:15:48,300 --> 01:15:49,176
Isn't it?
1312
01:15:51,940 --> 01:15:54,500
What have I done?
What have I fucking done?
1313
01:15:54,660 --> 01:15:56,571
Don't be such a drama queen.
1314
01:15:56,740 --> 01:15:58,332
Don't you...!
1315
01:16:05,420 --> 01:16:06,614
Brian.
1316
01:16:08,140 --> 01:16:10,290
I owe you an apology.
1317
01:16:11,380 --> 01:16:13,291
It's not you.
1318
01:16:15,140 --> 01:16:17,256
Go home to your wife.
1319
01:16:19,820 --> 01:16:21,697
I'm sorry.
1320
01:16:23,940 --> 01:16:26,329
I didn't mean it
to end up like that.
1321
01:16:50,140 --> 01:16:51,289
Mags?
1322
01:16:52,140 --> 01:16:53,289
Are you okay?
1323
01:16:54,460 --> 01:16:56,212
Maggie, are you ill?
1324
01:17:00,540 --> 01:17:02,053
Shit, sorry.
1325
01:17:07,740 --> 01:17:09,537
Look, are you sure
you want to go?
1326
01:17:09,780 --> 01:17:13,250
It's not that I want to go,
it's that you don't want me to stay.
1327
01:17:13,420 --> 01:17:15,058
When did I say that?
1328
01:17:15,580 --> 01:17:19,050
You've spent the last 6 months
treating me like shit.
1329
01:17:20,020 --> 01:17:22,295
You know, there's nothing
between Sarah and me.
1330
01:17:22,500 --> 01:17:25,173
I know that Sarah
isn't the problem.
1331
01:17:26,780 --> 01:17:30,056
You're unhappy with you.
I can't fix that.
1332
01:17:31,300 --> 01:17:33,291
You're right.
1333
01:17:33,460 --> 01:17:34,449
It's just need some time.
1334
01:17:36,060 --> 01:17:39,939
I just need some time to
sort some things out.
1335
01:17:42,180 --> 01:17:43,408
So do I.
1336
01:17:45,220 --> 01:17:47,017
Why don't you spend some time
1337
01:17:47,180 --> 01:17:49,774
doing whatever it is
that you think you should be doing?
1338
01:17:49,940 --> 01:17:52,818
- You've got my number in Montana.
- Yeah, okay.
1339
01:17:52,980 --> 01:17:54,732
- Give me a call.
- Yeah.
1340
01:17:58,300 --> 01:17:59,813
Take care, sugar.
1341
01:18:12,100 --> 01:18:15,536
I'm hearing the light
from the window.
1342
01:18:16,940 --> 01:18:20,216
I'm seeing
the sound of the sea.
1343
01:18:21,900 --> 01:18:25,495
My feet have gone loose
from their moorings.
1344
01:18:26,820 --> 01:18:30,051
I'm feeling
quite wonderfully free.
1345
01:18:31,580 --> 01:18:35,368
And I think I will travel to Rio.
1346
01:18:37,220 --> 01:18:40,292
Using the music for flight.
1347
01:18:40,460 --> 01:18:41,210
Bye.
1348
01:18:41,860 --> 01:18:45,375
There's nothing
I know of in Rio.
1349
01:18:46,700 --> 01:18:50,215
But it's something to do
with the night.
1350
01:18:51,820 --> 01:18:55,256
It's only a whimsical notion,
1351
01:18:56,580 --> 01:18:59,936
to fly down to Rio tonight.
1352
01:19:01,540 --> 01:19:05,215
And I probably
won't fly down to Rio.
1353
01:19:06,860 --> 01:19:10,296
But, then again,
I just might.
1354
01:19:16,420 --> 01:19:20,129
There's wings to
the fault behind fancy.
1355
01:19:21,500 --> 01:19:24,890
There's wings to
the fault behind play.
1356
01:19:26,340 --> 01:19:29,855
I'm dancing to
rhythms of laughter.
1357
01:19:30,020 --> 01:19:31,453
- Hello.
- Get in.
1358
01:19:35,580 --> 01:19:39,812
I think I will travel to Rio.
1359
01:19:41,580 --> 01:19:44,652
Using the music for flight.
1360
01:19:46,340 --> 01:19:49,377
There's nothing I know of
in Rio.
1361
01:19:51,100 --> 01:19:54,729
But it's something to do
with the night.
1362
01:20:02,420 --> 01:20:05,093
This is a tune I'm thinking of
for the new coffee commercial.
1363
01:20:30,500 --> 01:20:33,378
So, I opened the door and there
are in bed together.
1364
01:20:33,540 --> 01:20:35,770
- With Maggie on top?
- Like she's in a rodeo.
1365
01:20:35,940 --> 01:20:38,135
Little Maggie?
Who'd have thought it?
1366
01:20:38,300 --> 01:20:39,813
She's a sexpot.
1367
01:20:42,060 --> 01:20:43,209
- Hello.
- Hello.
1368
01:20:47,820 --> 01:20:50,971
Sorry we haven't seen you all today.
We decided to have a bit of a lie-in.
1369
01:20:51,140 --> 01:20:53,256
I think they all know what we had
a little bit of actually.
1370
01:20:53,420 --> 01:20:55,934
There was an element of squeaking.
1371
01:20:56,100 --> 01:20:57,977
All right, I admit it.
1372
01:20:58,380 --> 01:21:00,814
We've been shagging all day.
1373
01:21:02,340 --> 01:21:04,649
- Well, what have you all been doing?
- Maggie?
1374
01:21:06,300 --> 01:21:07,210
Shut up.
1375
01:21:11,340 --> 01:21:12,329
How's Ben?
1376
01:21:14,860 --> 01:21:16,339
My name is Mary.
1377
01:21:17,020 --> 01:21:19,250
I am an over-protective mother.
1378
01:21:22,020 --> 01:21:25,330
But I've only phoned twice today.
And he's fine.
1379
01:21:26,740 --> 01:21:30,255
I'm still a little worried but
I'm okay.
1380
01:21:31,980 --> 01:21:34,540
Well, just to keep you all
up to date.
1381
01:21:35,740 --> 01:21:38,493
We're down now to 6.
Carol's gone.
1382
01:21:38,700 --> 01:21:40,895
And Andrew's
a bit upset about it.
1383
01:21:41,060 --> 01:21:42,618
So I wouldn't mention
it if I were you.
1384
01:21:42,780 --> 01:21:44,816
And Brian has also gone.
1385
01:21:45,580 --> 01:21:48,697
I'm not upset. And you can
mention it all you like.
1386
01:21:53,220 --> 01:21:54,289
Dinner time.
1387
01:22:02,420 --> 01:22:05,014
- Do we have salt anywhere?
- Yes.
1388
01:22:06,100 --> 01:22:07,499
Well, congratulate me.
1389
01:22:07,660 --> 01:22:10,572
I seemed to have turned
Andrew into an alcoholic,
1390
01:22:10,740 --> 01:22:14,335
Maggie into an eroto-maniac,
and Sarah into a nun.
1391
01:22:15,540 --> 01:22:17,735
Roger and Mary
seem all right,
1392
01:22:17,900 --> 01:22:20,698
but frankly I think
they'd be happier at home.
1393
01:22:20,860 --> 01:22:23,693
It's not going exactly
as I planned.
1394
01:22:23,860 --> 01:22:26,090
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
1395
01:22:35,940 --> 01:22:37,453
Five minutes to go.
1396
01:22:38,980 --> 01:22:40,572
Brian will be home by now.
1397
01:22:41,260 --> 01:22:42,579
I kind of miss him.
1398
01:22:42,740 --> 01:22:45,413
- Who was that who picked him up?
- His wife.
1399
01:22:50,860 --> 01:22:52,976
New Year's fucking Eve.
1400
01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:55,893
Pope has a drink
on New Year's Eve.
1401
01:22:56,060 --> 01:22:58,016
The Pope doesn't get unpleasant
1402
01:22:58,940 --> 01:23:01,613
Am I unpleasant, anyone?
1403
01:23:03,180 --> 01:23:04,249
There, you see.
1404
01:23:05,700 --> 01:23:08,498
I never really had
a drinking problem.
1405
01:23:09,300 --> 01:23:12,770
I just went through the A.A. Crap
1406
01:23:12,940 --> 01:23:15,215
to keep Carol company.
1407
01:23:15,460 --> 01:23:18,657
Children, children,
let's not fight.
1408
01:23:21,540 --> 01:23:22,973
- Ben's fine.
- Good.
1409
01:23:24,660 --> 01:23:27,458
Can't you let
one fucking hour go by...
1410
01:23:27,620 --> 01:23:31,499
without ringing
the fucking baby sitter?
1411
01:23:31,660 --> 01:23:32,570
Andrew!
1412
01:23:32,740 --> 01:23:35,254
She's concerned about
our child, Andrew.
1413
01:23:35,420 --> 01:23:37,172
No need to be aggressive.
1414
01:23:37,340 --> 01:23:40,537
Was that Roger the jingle writer?
Did she speak?
1415
01:23:40,900 --> 01:23:43,095
I'd rather be Roger,
the jingle writer
1416
01:23:43,260 --> 01:23:45,171
than Andrew,
the miserable bastard.
1417
01:23:45,340 --> 01:23:46,409
I've never understood you.
1418
01:23:46,580 --> 01:23:49,299
I'd like to think it was Hollywood
but you were like this 10 years ago.
1419
01:23:49,460 --> 01:23:51,212
- Like what?
- Self-loathing.
1420
01:23:52,940 --> 01:23:56,455
I think you ought to apologise
to Roger and Mary, Andrew.
1421
01:23:56,620 --> 01:23:58,576
Do you indeed?
Well, I'm sorry.
1422
01:23:58,780 --> 01:24:01,533
Is anyone just going to comment
1423
01:24:01,700 --> 01:24:06,979
on that piece of human excrement
that Sarah dragged in for us?
1424
01:24:07,380 --> 01:24:11,168
Who was that appallingly
dreadful tosspot?
1425
01:24:11,780 --> 01:24:16,490
What the fuck was his fucking
Greta Garbo story about?
1426
01:24:17,380 --> 01:24:20,178
At least he had the courage
to leave his wife.
1427
01:24:20,820 --> 01:24:22,094
Yeah, for 24 hours.
1428
01:24:22,260 --> 01:24:24,569
That's not a divorce,
that's a day trip.
1429
01:24:24,740 --> 01:24:26,890
You'll probably be stuck with
1430
01:24:27,060 --> 01:24:28,778
that Joan Collins impersonator
all your life.
1431
01:24:28,940 --> 01:24:31,249
You're talking about
the woman I almost love.
1432
01:24:31,420 --> 01:24:33,775
I've never seen anyone
wear more make-up.
1433
01:24:33,940 --> 01:24:36,090
How does she take it off?
With a chisel?
1434
01:24:36,420 --> 01:24:39,218
She's made Maggie here
look ridiculous.
1435
01:24:39,580 --> 01:24:40,649
Sarah!
1436
01:24:41,180 --> 01:24:42,818
I think Maggie looks great.
1437
01:24:42,980 --> 01:24:44,777
Of course you do.
You think Carol looks great.
1438
01:24:44,940 --> 01:24:45,577
Mary!
1439
01:24:45,740 --> 01:24:48,129
I will not have my ex wife,
1440
01:24:48,300 --> 01:24:50,052
future ex wife talked about
like that.
1441
01:24:52,220 --> 01:24:53,858
I don't look ridiculous.
1442
01:24:54,020 --> 01:24:56,454
That's a horrible thing to say.
You're just jealous.
1443
01:24:56,740 --> 01:24:58,298
- Please!
- Look, look.
1444
01:24:58,940 --> 01:25:02,250
It's two minutes to midnight.
Can we please not...?
1445
01:25:02,420 --> 01:25:04,695
Just try and be nice
to each other.
1446
01:25:04,860 --> 01:25:07,374
There he goes: 'Try and be
nice to each other.
1447
01:25:07,540 --> 01:25:09,212
'Cause it's New Year's
fucking Eve, isn't it?
1448
01:25:09,380 --> 01:25:10,335
New Year's fucking Eve
1449
01:25:10,580 --> 01:25:13,413
at Peter's fucking
New Year's fucking mansion.
1450
01:25:14,900 --> 01:25:17,494
Where Peter gets to be
lord of the manor
1451
01:25:17,660 --> 01:25:20,458
and I get to regret ever
leaving England.
1452
01:25:21,780 --> 01:25:24,135
Andrew, I know this isn't
you speaking.
1453
01:25:24,300 --> 01:25:26,018
This is 'drunk-you'.
1454
01:25:26,660 --> 01:25:29,891
I'm trying to draw a veil
over your behaviour,
1455
01:25:30,060 --> 01:25:32,528
but would you please
shut the fuck up?
1456
01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:36,329
Yea, we could go and write
our crappy play together.
1457
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:39,014
And then everything would be
okay, Peter, wouldn't it?
1458
01:25:39,180 --> 01:25:40,738
You are being so boring!
1459
01:25:40,900 --> 01:25:43,460
Well, why the fuck
did you invite me?
1460
01:25:44,940 --> 01:25:47,579
Why the fuck any of us?
1461
01:25:47,740 --> 01:25:50,493
And why this year
1462
01:25:50,660 --> 01:25:53,538
and not any other bloody year?
1463
01:25:53,700 --> 01:25:57,090
Because all our lives are in
such an optimum fucking mess,
1464
01:25:57,260 --> 01:26:00,138
that it needs Peter the saviour
1465
01:26:00,300 --> 01:26:02,211
to send us out in the world...
1466
01:26:02,380 --> 01:26:04,974
on New Year's Day
1467
01:26:05,140 --> 01:26:08,018
resurrected and directed.
1468
01:26:08,620 --> 01:26:12,135
And because I'm here to tell you
if that's your aim, my old fruit,
1469
01:26:12,420 --> 01:26:16,208
from bitter personal experience,
it hasn't worked.
1470
01:26:18,140 --> 01:26:20,700
Do you really want to know
why I invited you here?
1471
01:26:20,860 --> 01:26:22,532
Yes, I do, your Lordship.
1472
01:26:23,380 --> 01:26:25,098
Well, I didn't think it was...
1473
01:26:25,260 --> 01:26:27,649
I wasn't sure whether I was
going to tell you or not.
1474
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:30,853
Given the way this evening
has panned out...
1475
01:26:32,380 --> 01:26:34,257
I think it might be appropriate.
1476
01:26:37,020 --> 01:26:39,659
I invited you all here
1477
01:26:42,500 --> 01:26:43,649
because...
1478
01:26:46,540 --> 01:26:48,451
you all mean a lot to me...
1479
01:26:48,620 --> 01:26:49,814
as you know,
1480
01:26:50,940 --> 01:26:51,929
and...
1481
01:26:54,820 --> 01:26:56,333
I'm sorry, this is...
1482
01:26:56,980 --> 01:26:58,413
not very easy.
1483
01:27:00,620 --> 01:27:02,292
Because...
1484
01:27:02,700 --> 01:27:04,418
recently...
1485
01:27:07,380 --> 01:27:09,211
I had a blood test,
1486
01:27:09,660 --> 01:27:12,811
and it turns out I'm
HIV positive.
1487
01:27:32,380 --> 01:27:33,733
I'm sorry, Andrew.
1488
01:27:33,900 --> 01:27:36,653
I didn't mean to
sober you up that fast.
1489
01:27:37,700 --> 01:27:38,610
Well...
1490
01:27:41,300 --> 01:27:42,574
Happy New Year.
1491
01:27:47,260 --> 01:27:48,295
Come on!
1492
01:27:48,860 --> 01:27:50,088
Chaps...
1493
01:27:50,820 --> 01:27:52,811
Don't let me down.
1494
01:27:54,260 --> 01:27:55,659
Happy New Year.
1495
01:28:04,340 --> 01:28:05,932
Happy New Year, Peter.
1496
01:28:08,740 --> 01:28:10,059
Happy New Year, Vera.
1497
01:28:10,660 --> 01:28:13,493
- Happy New Year, Peter.
- Happy New Year, Peter.
1498
01:28:14,700 --> 01:28:17,009
I am an absolute...
1499
01:28:17,700 --> 01:28:19,213
dribbling arsehole.
1500
01:28:21,180 --> 01:28:23,057
I'm sorry, everybody.
1501
01:28:25,980 --> 01:28:28,369
I'm sorry, Peter.
1502
01:28:30,260 --> 01:28:32,569
I'm sorry, Peter.
1503
01:28:36,100 --> 01:28:38,295
Peter,
how long have you known?
1504
01:28:38,460 --> 01:28:39,654
About six months.
1505
01:28:40,340 --> 01:28:43,571
I'm all right. You don't have to
treat me any differently.
1506
01:28:44,140 --> 01:28:47,018
I haven't got AIDS,
I've got the AIDS virus.
1507
01:28:47,740 --> 01:28:49,059
There's a big difference.
1508
01:28:49,540 --> 01:28:52,179
Statistically,
there's every chance
1509
01:28:52,340 --> 01:28:56,333
that it'll be years
before it becomes...
1510
01:28:57,180 --> 01:28:58,135
full blown.
1511
01:28:58,780 --> 01:29:00,577
You should have told us.
1512
01:29:00,820 --> 01:29:02,890
It isn't a very easy thing to tell.
1513
01:29:04,260 --> 01:29:05,488
Look, look.
1514
01:29:07,540 --> 01:29:09,451
Why don't we sit over there?
1515
01:29:10,180 --> 01:29:12,057
Just a few minutes.
1516
01:29:15,020 --> 01:29:17,056
Are you really feeling...
1517
01:29:17,500 --> 01:29:18,933
okay... now?
1518
01:29:19,780 --> 01:29:21,008
I'm fine.
1519
01:29:21,340 --> 01:29:22,170
Really,
1520
01:29:22,340 --> 01:29:25,457
I do get tired
now and again, but...
1521
01:29:27,100 --> 01:29:29,853
as much as anything, it's this
drug they've got me on now.
1522
01:29:32,100 --> 01:29:35,137
I intend to live a long time,
thanks very much.
1523
01:29:35,300 --> 01:29:36,619
I'm going to out-live you all.
1524
01:29:37,820 --> 01:29:40,698
- Lf there's anything we can do.
- Anything.
1525
01:29:42,340 --> 01:29:44,092
I'm so sorry, Peter!
1526
01:29:45,060 --> 01:29:47,255
He knows you're sorry, dear.
1527
01:29:47,580 --> 01:29:48,569
I love you.
1528
01:29:48,740 --> 01:29:49,855
I know, Andrew.
1529
01:29:50,180 --> 01:29:52,330
Vera, coffee?
1530
01:29:55,780 --> 01:29:57,691
Do you know who you got it from?
1531
01:29:58,420 --> 01:30:02,129
I haven't a clue, and I don't think
it makes much difference if I did.
1532
01:30:02,300 --> 01:30:04,291
- Do you?
- I guess not.
1533
01:30:06,260 --> 01:30:09,855
I mean, it's not as if it's
anybody else's fault.
1534
01:30:11,300 --> 01:30:14,656
There's always a chance they'll
discover a cure, isn't there?
1535
01:30:14,820 --> 01:30:17,653
They find new things...
1536
01:30:17,820 --> 01:30:19,139
Absolutely.
1537
01:30:24,620 --> 01:30:27,214
Look, I'm going to go down
and get some bubbles.
1538
01:30:28,020 --> 01:30:30,250
Roger, why don't you
get your guitar?
1539
01:30:30,580 --> 01:30:32,730
It's a party,
for God's sake!
1540
01:30:45,660 --> 01:30:47,298
I wish you'd told me.
1541
01:30:49,660 --> 01:30:52,299
I thought you'd consider
my plight
1542
01:30:52,860 --> 01:30:54,452
a deserved punishment.
1543
01:30:55,260 --> 01:30:57,171
How could you say that to me?
1544
01:30:58,700 --> 01:31:01,089
I've known you
since you were a little boy.
1545
01:31:02,140 --> 01:31:04,176
I used to watch you
drawing at that table.
1546
01:31:04,340 --> 01:31:05,614
I'm sorry.
1547
01:31:05,940 --> 01:31:07,976
I know you always disapproved
1548
01:31:09,260 --> 01:31:10,852
of the way I lived my life.
1549
01:31:11,460 --> 01:31:12,609
I didn't.
1550
01:31:19,260 --> 01:31:21,091
You had all that promise.
1551
01:31:22,460 --> 01:31:25,179
I hated seeing what you
didn't do with your life.
1552
01:31:25,740 --> 01:31:27,856
And more, how unhappy
it made you.
1553
01:31:30,140 --> 01:31:32,017
But I've always loved you.
1554
01:31:35,700 --> 01:31:38,134
How could you say that
to me, Peter?
1555
01:31:39,260 --> 01:31:40,978
Vera, I'm sorry.
1556
01:31:41,380 --> 01:31:43,052
I didn't mean to upset you.
1557
01:31:55,460 --> 01:31:58,133
I suppose it's too late
for Auld Lang Syne.
1558
01:31:58,540 --> 01:31:59,416
Yeah.
1559
01:32:02,100 --> 01:32:03,135
Coffee?
1560
01:32:03,300 --> 01:32:04,528
Black, no sugar.
1561
01:32:04,700 --> 01:32:06,770
Come on, Andrew.
Thanks, Vera.
1562
01:32:06,940 --> 01:32:07,929
Happy New Year.
1563
01:32:08,100 --> 01:32:10,660
Peter, if you wanted
to stay with us, any of us...
1564
01:32:10,820 --> 01:32:13,050
- any time...
- That's sweet of you, but...
1565
01:32:13,220 --> 01:32:16,098
I'm going to be fine.
This is my home.
1566
01:32:16,260 --> 01:32:17,613
We can't let you
stay here on your own.
1567
01:32:17,780 --> 01:32:19,816
I'll be fine.
1568
01:32:19,980 --> 01:32:23,211
- Are you sure?
- No, but I'll give it my best shot.
1569
01:32:24,580 --> 01:32:27,094
I've got something
very funny to show you.
1570
01:32:28,180 --> 01:32:30,216
Stay exactly where you are.
1571
01:32:31,220 --> 01:32:33,051
I can't believe
he's coping so well.
1572
01:32:33,220 --> 01:32:34,812
I think he's fantastic.
1573
01:32:35,300 --> 01:32:38,497
- It makes you feel so helpless.
- Exactly.
1574
01:32:38,820 --> 01:32:40,856
Mags, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
1575
01:32:41,020 --> 01:32:43,329
I think you look fan...
I think you look great.
1576
01:32:43,820 --> 01:32:46,288
I was trying to get back at
Mr. Appropriate here.
1577
01:32:46,460 --> 01:32:50,692
I am sorrier than it is
humanly possible to be.
1578
01:32:50,860 --> 01:32:54,375
Roger, I wouldn't blame you
if you never spoke to me again.
1579
01:32:54,540 --> 01:32:55,529
Oh, shut up!
1580
01:32:55,700 --> 01:32:57,452
Look what I found.
1581
01:33:03,620 --> 01:33:06,259
The cabaret I persuaded you to do
with my father's friends.
1582
01:33:06,420 --> 01:33:08,809
- Vera took the photo in the kitchen.
- We didn't go down that well.
1583
01:33:08,980 --> 01:33:11,335
We went down as well as
a dry souffle.
1584
01:33:11,500 --> 01:33:13,934
- Joined the land of the living?
- I am so sorry.
1585
01:33:14,100 --> 01:33:16,216
Remember Paul dancing
on the table, Vera?
1586
01:33:16,380 --> 01:33:19,099
He must have been
about 7 then.
1587
01:33:19,260 --> 01:33:21,820
- Feel embarrassed, Maggie?
- Have I missed something?
1588
01:33:21,980 --> 01:33:23,538
- No, no.
- No, never mind.
1589
01:33:23,700 --> 01:33:25,691
- What song did we do?
- Well, The Underground Song.
1590
01:33:25,860 --> 01:33:28,169
The fucking Underground Song!
What a piece of shit!
1591
01:33:28,340 --> 01:33:29,978
- Who wrote that?
- Guilty.
1592
01:33:30,140 --> 01:33:32,449
- I've always loved that song.
- All right then, recite it.
1593
01:33:32,620 --> 01:33:34,770
I've got to go to "gotty, plotty"...
1594
01:33:37,340 --> 01:33:40,138
Let's all go down to Oxford Circus
1595
01:33:40,300 --> 01:33:43,053
past Trafalgar Square...
Charing Cross.
1596
01:33:45,300 --> 01:33:47,097
Let's do it! Let's do it!
1597
01:33:53,180 --> 01:33:54,772
Not The Underground Song!
1598
01:33:54,940 --> 01:33:57,170
It's your punishment for
being such a miserable bastard.
1599
01:33:57,340 --> 01:33:59,649
Here's your bowler and
there's your umbrella. All right...
1600
01:33:59,820 --> 01:34:01,617
Under the arm.
1601
01:34:04,220 --> 01:34:07,212
Let's all go down
to Oxford Circus
1602
01:34:11,340 --> 01:34:16,050
Let's all go down to Oxford Circus
past Trafalgar Square.
1603
01:34:16,220 --> 01:34:18,450
And then from Charing Cross
right up to Euston.
1604
01:34:18,620 --> 01:34:22,772
Then change to the Victoria,
and then the Piccadilly...