1
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,682
England, 1943.

2
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,472
The tide of war had turned.

3
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,720
The Axis forces fell in North Africa,

4
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,814
were defeated in Stalingrad
and gave way in Italy.

5
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,104
While somewhere in war-torn Britain,

6
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:12,195
Mrs Edith Collier capitulated
to the advances of

7
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,860
her husband, Corporal Cyril Collier who,

8
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,950
flushed with the news from
Tunis, and Newcastle Brown Ale,

9
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,910
wouldn't take no for an answer.

10
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,996
Cyril, at least wait till the all-clear.

11
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,784
What if we had to be rescued?

12
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,877
I mean it could be so undignified, pet.

13
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:28,879
Edith.

14
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,132
Go on Edith.

15
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,140
The Blitz is playing
havoc with our ceiling.

16
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,392
Meanwhile, not many miles away,

17
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,189
Lance Bombardier Leslie Ferris

18
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,482
of an anti-aircraft coastal command unit

19
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,446
was bidding a fond farewell.

20
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:58,907
Les!

21
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,867
Oh, come on Alice, we are engaged.

22
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:01,782
Only since this morning.

23
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,074
But this is war.

24
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,162
I'm leaving tomorrow.

25
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,623
Only for Catterick.

26
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,833
The bus might crash.

27
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,747
Well.

28
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,371
In war, our dearest, we must cling to

29
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,792
every precious moment.

30
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,712
Like Walter Pidgeon said
at the Regal last Friday.

31
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,676
Couldn't we at least
turn the search light out.

32
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,051
I wrote to our Cyril.

33
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,675
I said that's what he gets
for being drunk and careless

34
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,927
and trying to take my mind of an air-raid.

35
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,269
Eh, we're so close.

36
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,979
Must've been the same air-raid.

37
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:33,309
By, that Hitler's got
a lot to answer for.

38
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,734
♪ Oh remember when we
thought we had forever ♪

39
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:40,359
♪ Didn't it make you feel secure ♪

40
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:44,659
♪ We used to think that we had forever ♪

41
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,624
♪ Now I'm not so sure ♪

42
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,915
♪ Daylight dreamers, midnight stealers ♪

43
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:54,414
♪ Minstrels on the run ♪

44
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:58,134
♪ City cowboys, live for now boys ♪

45
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:03,131
♪ Tomorrow's never gonna come ♪

46
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,771
♪ Last bus home, Saturday night ♪

47
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:14,484
♪ I walk you to your door ♪

48
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:17,524
♪ Tell me your name, I'll
never see you again ♪

49
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:21,616
♪ But I love you forever more ♪

50
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,736
♪ Charabanc, penny arcades, ♪

51
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:28,456
♪ Sad to be alone ♪

52
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,246
♪ Isn't it grand, holding hands ♪

53
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:35,543
♪ In the backseat riding home ♪

54
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,963
♪ Oh remember when we
thought we had forever ♪

55
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,462
♪ Didn't it make you feel secure ♪

56
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:46,637
♪ We used to think that we had forever ♪

57
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,602
♪ Now we're not so sure ♪

58
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:53,097
♪ The daylight dreamers,
midnight stealers ♪

59
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,727
♪ Minstrels on the run ♪

60
00:03:56,737 --> 00:04:00,401
♪ City cowboys, live for now boys ♪

61
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:05,402
♪ Tomorrow's never gonna come ♪

62
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,369
♪ Tomorrow's never gonna come ♪

63
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,537
♪ Tomorrow ♪

64
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,346
I want me ball back.

65
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,184
Look I'll give you the money.

66
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,396
You can get yourself a new one tomorrow.

67
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,889
Loan us a quid Bob.

68
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:35,936
What!

69
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,662
Don't want another
ball, I want that ball.

70
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,187
Well it's a bit
difficult now isn't it.

71
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,822
That ball's got Malcolm
Macdonald's autograph on it.

72
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,656
You kicked it up there.

73
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,491
Not on purpose!

74
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,327
I was only making a strong clearance.

75
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,832
Oh look, one of us'll
have to go and fetch it.

76
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:53,745
Up that drainpipe?

77
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,414
We did it often enough at their age.

78
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,252
Let one of them go then.

79
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,086
I'll tell me brother.

80
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:58,954
Shut up!

81
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,547
His brother's bigger than you.

82
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,344
I'll tell you what, fair's fair.

83
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:09,266
Which hand's it in?

84
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,602
That one.

85
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,354
Rats!

86
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,280
Hello.

87
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,656
Oh, hello Terry.

88
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,615
What?

89
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,203
Sorry?

90
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,206
Why?

91
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,158
What roof?

92
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,731
Got to go, me dinner's ready.

93
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,103
Oh that's right, you just piss off.

94
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,776
Don't give a second
thought to him up there.

95
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,898
See you next Sunday.

96
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,274
Don't bank on it.

97
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,289
Suicide was it?

98
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,660
Might be later when he
gets home to the wife.

99
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:38,645
We've got better things to do

100
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,355
with the rate payer's money, lad.

101
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,849
I'm sorry, I just love me nerve.

102
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,146
Keeps your hands in doesn't it.

103
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,896
Better than spending all
afternoon polishing your bell.

104
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,397
Never grow up, some people.

105
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,990
Ah well.

106
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,305
Move yourself Ferris.

107
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,474
The hour of doom is at hand.

108
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,784
If Mrs Ferris calls, Wendy,

109
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,279
tell her I've gone to the North Road site.

110
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,700
All right Bob.

111
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:38,914
Where is actually you're going?

112
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,579
I'm going to the Fat Ox.

113
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,701
Middle of the day?

114
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,327
Not just any day Wendy.

115
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,125
Today's a very special day.

116
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,624
Tinged with poignancy and
regret for things past.

117
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,171
How?

118
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,295
They're pulling the Fat Ox down.

119
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,341
Funeral you say?

120
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,589
Yes sir, old friend.

121
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,216
I'd just like to pay me last respects.

122
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,968
Well I could've done
with a bit of notice.

123
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,186
I've only just heard sir.

124
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,305
I'll just be adding a
bit to me lunch hour.

125
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,022
Go on then.

126
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,641
Thank you Mr Chipchase.

127
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,027
Who's died?

128
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,022
Part of me's died.

129
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,757
What's the matter with you?

130
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:38,723
I know how you feel kidder.

131
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,093
Oh yes?

132
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,093
Worse for you than for me.

133
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,312
I only spent my childhood here.

134
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,805
You've lived here all your life.

135
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,523
It's taken that long
to pull the bugger down.

136
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,358
It was condemned the year I was born.

137
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,108
Me dad used to say, we'll
not be in here long.

138
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,107
Only temporary, he said.

139
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,700
That's why we never
re-papered the front room.

140
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,116
You must feel some nostalgia though.

141
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:03,036
These streets are ugly but
they have a kind of beauty.

142
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,205
Working class sentiment
is an indulgence of

143
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,077
working class people who have cracked it

144
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,330
through football or rock and roll.

145
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,672
Or people like you who moved out

146
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,839
to the Elm Lodge housing estate
at the earliest opportunity.

147
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:16,758
Well, I didn't want my kids
brought up in these streets.

148
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,940
Joe.

149
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,433
Oh Terry, Bob.

150
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,609
Usual?

151
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,479
Yes please, the usual.

152
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,321
Aye.

153
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,324
Is anything left?

154
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,403
There's one keg.

155
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,322
Well, it has to be drunk.

156
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,160
Aye.

157
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,153
No no son, it's on the house.

158
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,029
Oh that's nice.

159
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:42,996
Isn't that nice.

160
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,661
What a nice gesture.

161
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,659
First time in 14 years.

162
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,669
Aye well.

163
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,127
Always kept a good drop did Joe.

164
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,423
Here you are lads.

165
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,092
There's a present for the two of you.

166
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,135
What is it?

167
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,141
The dartboard.

168
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,142
Oh Joe.

169
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,637
I know it's going to a good home.

170
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:07,855
It is.

171
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,689
When do these lads do they deed?

172
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,692
When we're dry.

173
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,368
That's it then.

174
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,415
Rest in peace.

175
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:35,833
I'll have the glasses back lads.

176
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:36,675
Certainly Joe.

177
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:39,170
You'll come and see us
in the new one, won't you.

178
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,091
Of course we will.

179
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,634
What's it like?

180
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,473
Bloody sight better than this one.

181
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,392
I mean, nobody cares!

182
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,356
Nobody really cares.

183
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,191
Nobody's moved by the occasion.

184
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,105
Well those residents are.

185
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,228
Moved to a high-rise.

186
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,230
Soulless concrete blocks.

187
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,071
What do you mean?

188
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,190
It's got a modern kitchen, a lovely view

189
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,032
and an inside lavatory.

190
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,401
These streets had poetry.

191
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,153
Well there's not much
poetry at four in the morning,

192
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,702
padding down the yard to
a freezing outside bog.

193
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,701
You missed my point
Terry, you missed my point.

194
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:10,542
Where are you going?

195
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,504
I'm gonna get a memento
from the old house.

196
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,293
A souvenir or something.

197
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,509
Hey lads, keep away
from there, it's not safe.

198
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,376
Not safe?

199
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,175
I was a baby when this street
was bombed by the Germans.

200
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,721
It didn't worry me then and
it's not gonna worry me now.

201
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,568
You told me you were a promotional

202
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,982
and merchandising executive

203
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,446
with a leading manufacturer.

204
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,280
So I am.

205
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,114
No you're not.

206
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,653
You just drive this thing.

207
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,822
Drop us off at the library,
I've gotta pick Thelma up.

208
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,616
You're in no fit state.

209
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,161
She'll know you've been with
me and I'll get the blame.

210
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,829
Terry, she's expecting me.

211
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,550
Nobody cares darling, nobody cares.

212
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,391
Shush!

213
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,885
Don't you shush me!

214
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,933
I've just seen my past bulldozed away.

215
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,896
Do you see this brick.

216
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,390
- Bob!
- It's my house, darling.

217
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,481
It's survived the Blitz but not

218
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,601
the march of time.
- Bob.

219
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,853
You know what it means,
you understand my love,

220
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,071
don't you Thelma.
- Bob please!

221
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,739
It wasn't my fault
Thelma, it wasn't my fault.

222
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,029
Ow!

223
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,519
Terry.

224
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,933
Hello kidder.

225
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,681
I thought you played badminton on Sunday.

226
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,558
Not this Sunday,
Thelma's got bruised toes.

227
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,558
Oh dear.

228
00:12:58,569 --> 00:12:59,480
I dropped a brick.

229
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,228
You're always dropping bricks, you.

230
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,356
This one was on her foot in the library.

231
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,317
Want some coffee?

232
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,116
I'd offer you a beer but
I've only got six cans.

233
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,123
No thanks.

234
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:15,996
I had some news this week.

235
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,503
The divorce came through.

236
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,042
Really?

237
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,915
How do you feel about it?

238
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,543
Same as I felt about
the street coming down.

239
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,590
There goes yesterday.

240
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,427
That street coming down really upset me

241
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,973
because it just reminded me
how much of the past is gone.

242
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,596
It's different for you with your divorce,

243
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,472
your new job, your flat.

244
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,099
Your changes are happening now.

245
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,985
My future's all bogged down.

246
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,570
Go on, you can have a beer if you like.

247
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,537
In the chocolate box of life
the top layer's already gone

248
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,534
and someone's pinched the
orange creme from the bottom.

249
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:03,374
Bloody hell!

250
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,073
Hey get away from there.

251
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,281
Leave them wing mirrors alone.

252
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,836
Oh God, the north
face of the Eiger again.

253
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,879
Does this lift never work?

254
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,343
What happens to old
ladies on the top floor

255
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,507
when it's broken down?

256
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,514
They stay in.

257
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,897
How long will your folks be in Canada?

258
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,019
I don't know.

259
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,941
My dad's thinking of
retiring there altogether.

260
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,780
He'll be back, he'll
miss the pub and the match

261
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:09,819
and the lads.

262
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:10,657
Not necessarily.

263
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:14,028
In his letter he said Canada
had been an eye opener.

264
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,324
He said if he'd known he
was gonna live so long

265
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,699
he'd have taken steps to get
out of this place years ago.

266
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,621
It's a new era, kidder.

267
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,039
Obviously is for you.

268
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,254
What did you say?

269
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,169
I said it obviously is for you.

270
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:32,379
Your bathroom is full of
female underwear and deodorant.

271
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,766
Is there something you want to tell me?

272
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,304
Do you want me to loan
you the fare to Denmark?

273
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,098
The articles in question
happened to belong to

274
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,471
a certain young lady.

275
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,481
Oh I see.

276
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,523
Are you?

277
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,188
Certainly, no bother.

278
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,811
Course you always had an
irresistible sexual magnetism.

279
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,280
True, but it's not just that.

280
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,945
What is it then, I'm dying to know.

281
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,283
Well once I've got 'em up here.

282
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,117
Yes?

283
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,077
They're not gonna risk
leaving this dodgy area

284
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,287
after dark are they.

285
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,576
And knowing you there's
no way you're gonna

286
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,619
escort them home.

287
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,625
Course not.

288
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,788
Looking back, you know,

289
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,832
this is one stage in life I missed.

290
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,580
A flat on me own or with a mate.

291
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,082
I went straight from living with me mum

292
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,333
to living with me wife.

293
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,465
I by-passed that period of sexual excess

294
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,885
which you're so happily indulging in now.

295
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,008
But you're a happily married man Bob.

296
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,179
Oh don't get me wrong.

297
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,143
That's one thing I don't regret.

298
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:23,105
I wouldn't swap that for
your lifestyle for a minute.

299
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,973
I know you wouldn't.

300
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,192
'Cause what you've got is
more than what I've got

301
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,276
and I envy you for it.

302
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:30,858
You're lying.

303
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,026
So are you.

304
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,033
I know.

305
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:43,793
Bob?

306
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,087
Bob where are our wing mirrors.

307
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,755
Oh God, not again.

308
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,254
That's the last time I'm going
round to Terry Collier's.

309
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,721
I just wish you meant that.

310
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,974
I don't see that much of him Thelma.

311
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,513
Those days are over.

312
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,513
Lots of things are over.

313
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,730
What is the matter with you Bob?

314
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,439
You've been moping all week.

315
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,432
I'm sorry.

316
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,526
I'm going through a very
depressed state recently.

317
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,612
I think maybe we should talk it through.

318
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,152
Oh pet we've got so much to get done.

319
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,696
Let's talk about it later
over a cup of tea, mm.

320
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,364
It'll keep won't it.

321
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,530
Oh it's not important Thelma.

322
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,329
I'm only questioning the
entire validity of my life.

323
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,957
I think I'm going through
what the psychiatrists call

324
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,830
an identity crisis.

325
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,206
Oh is that what Alan Pooley had.

326
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,961
No I think Alan just liked
dressing up in woman's clothes.

327
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,382
But you know who you are Bob

328
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,631
and you know where you're going.

329
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,177
Watch where you're going Bob.

330
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,184
Sorry.

331
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,984
We all have moments like this, you know.

332
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,525
When we were engaged, the first time,

333
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,863
there was a moment when I wanted to go off

334
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,198
and work for UNICEF in Morocco.

335
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,863
But it passed.

336
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,735
You chose me over Morocco.

337
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,738
I came to my senses Bob.

338
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,660
My gain was UNICEF's loss.

339
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,579
We have got each other.

340
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,703
I know, I know.

341
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,830
And we lead a full and
exciting life don't we.

342
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,957
Course we do pet.

343
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,549
Good.

344
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,589
Now I need a new dress

345
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,337
but first I think we
should go to the car wash

346
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,179
and then to the dry cleaner's, right.

347
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,453
Can I help you sir?

348
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,746
No no.

349
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,164
I'm with my wife.

350
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,804
I think I need a 10.

351
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,799
Oh, I'll look for one.

352
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,594
Hello kidder.

353
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,563
What on Earth are you doing here?

354
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,056
On my way to the match.

355
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,023
Is this a regular port of call

356
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:54,857
on the way to the match?

357
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,647
I just called in to see Chris.

358
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,485
Who?

359
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,854
Christina.

360
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,072
The girl I'm knocking around with.

361
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,737
Which one's she?

362
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,951
Well I can't see her actually.

363
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,571
Still, no mad rush.

364
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:08,822
I've been here 20 minutes.

365
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,244
I don't think I can take much more.

366
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,584
I want every girl in this room.

367
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,462
Oh look at that.

368
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:22,595
She's not?

369
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,301
She's never yours.

370
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,388
Aye.

371
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,758
But.

372
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:28,768
She's beautiful.

373
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:30,854
Cut above.

374
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,016
That underwear in your bathroom.

375
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,435
Is that hers?

376
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,446
Most of it.

377
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,157
I'm with a customer.

378
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:44,991
I know pet.

379
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,360
I just popped in to say
I'll see you in the Swallow

380
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,111
at six o'clock.
- Oh.

381
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,033
Eh Miss, could you...

382
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,200
Oh I must go.

383
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,535
Oh, hello Terry.

384
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:55,956
Hello Thelma, pet.

385
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:58,965
She's foreign.

386
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,628
Finnish.

387
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,214
See you kidder.

388
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,390
Well, do you like it pet.

389
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:16,686
I think it's perfect for
Malcolm and Judy's party.

390
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,433
And it's practical too, you know.

391
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,731
I could even wear it for Ian's wedding.

392
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,070
And it isn't really expensive.

393
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:24,815
Not when you consider how well made it is.

394
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:27,192
What do you think Bob?

395
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,160
Bob, what do you think darling?

396
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,156
I couldn't give a shit.

397
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,712
Aye, something smells good.

398
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,125
It needs another 10 minutes.

399
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,748
Why don't you open the wine.

400
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:42,590
Wine?

401
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:44,175
I get you screw cork.

402
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,178
Pardon?

403
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,759
Who the hell's that?

404
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,227
Perhaps the witness of Jehovah.

405
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,563
Not after what
I told them last time.

406
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:00,649
Hello Bob.

407
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:02,695
Hello kidder.

408
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:05,196
What's the matter with you?

409
00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:06,199
Lift's broken isn't it.

410
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,484
Where were you?

411
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:09,280
Where was I what?

412
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:10,322
We were supposed to
meet at the Black Horse

413
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,570
at six o'clock.

414
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,411
Oh were we?

415
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,280
We have done every
Tuesday night for years.

416
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:15,907
Ah well, I'm sorry kidder.

417
00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:16,749
That's all right.

418
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,540
Get your shoes on, I thought
we'd go and see Joe's new pub

419
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:20,378
and then go down the club later.

420
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,293
Well the thing is, I wasn't
intending going out tonight.

421
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:23,756
What do you mean?

422
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,716
We always go out Tuesday nights.

423
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,006
Aye well, Chris has
got this meal, you see

424
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,174
and, well, you know.

425
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,298
Oh I see, I see.

426
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,970
I see.

427
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:33,967
I'll wait then.

428
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,435
Well it's not just that.

429
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,598
We're having a night in.

430
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,606
Night in!

431
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,558
Oh, hello.

432
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:42,650
This is Bob, Chris.

433
00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:43,484
You met briefly.

434
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:44,853
Yes of course, I meet your wife.

435
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,230
Yes.

436
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,526
Does Bob stay for dinner?

437
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,195
Oh I don't wish to impose.

438
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,783
No of course you don't.

439
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:52,448
Anyway there's only enough for two.

440
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:55,367
Yes well, I don't like
leaving the car unattended.

441
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,206
When you've got to go you've got to go.

442
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,074
It was nice to meet you again.

443
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,419
You will say hello to
your wife when you see her.

444
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,503
Which will be sooner than I expected.

445
00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,401
Hello darling.

446
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:29,693
Hello.

447
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:31,487
What are you doing home so early?

448
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:33,906
This is my house, where
I live, where I return

449
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:34,949
at the end of the day.

450
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:36,617
Not on Tuesday Bob.

451
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:37,705
It's boys' night out.

452
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:39,244
Is it so wrong to want to come home

453
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,617
to see one's wife.

454
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:41,709
Oh darling.

455
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:46,793
You know I go to badminton on Tuesday

456
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,917
and have a meal afterwards with the girls.

457
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:51,211
Have you eaten?

458
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,804
Found a frozen lasagna in the fridge.

459
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,924
It should be defrosted soon.

460
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,176
But you're never home before one

461
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:59,348
after a night out with Terry.

462
00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:00,812
What time did you get home?

463
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,268
About ten past seven.

464
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:05,562
Is Terry ill?

465
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:08,482
No, he just wanted a quiet night in.

466
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:10,355
A candlelit dinner for two.

467
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,281
Really?

468
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,284
Really.

469
00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,656
Terry preferred to be with that Chris

470
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:16,904
to boys' night out.

471
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:17,914
Apparently.

472
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,670
Mind you, I thought she
seemed a very nice girl.

473
00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:27,335
Very friendly, for a foreigner.

474
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:30,300
We've never missed a
Tuesday night in years.

475
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,634
Apart from our honeymoon.

476
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,922
She must have quite a hold on Terry.

477
00:24:34,932 --> 00:24:37,595
Probably at this very moment.

478
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:38,601
Oh Bob.

479
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,059
Perhaps we could ask Terry and Chris

480
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,183
round to the badminton club one evening.

481
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:56,697
- Oh!
- Terry.

482
00:24:56,704 --> 00:24:57,704
Oh hello Bob.

483
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,830
Chris is working late, you see,

484
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,415
so I was just.

485
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:03,875
Yeah, me too.

486
00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:04,788
I quite enjoy shopping.

487
00:25:04,795 --> 00:25:06,582
I've never done it before.

488
00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:10,081
Hey, do you know where I
can find tarragon vinegar.

489
00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,550
Sauces and condiments, aisle 13.

490
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:13,543
Oh.

491
00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:15,090
Cheers.

492
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:16,008
What's for tonight?

493
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,677
Another candlelit supper for two.

494
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:20,683
She'd gone to a lot of trouble.

495
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:22,393
Please, I don't mind.

496
00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:24,479
Did me good getting an early night.

497
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:25,312
Me and all.

498
00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:27,227
Yes, you obviously know what
side your bread's buttered.

499
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,475
- Butter.
- Aisle nine.

500
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:32,896
Did you find the rip and wrap Bob.

501
00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,693
Oh, hello Terry.

502
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,700
Hello Thelma, pet.

503
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,197
How are you?

504
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,865
Very well, thank you very much.

505
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,238
How's Chris?

506
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:42,830
Are you two, I mean, are things.

507
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:43,744
Fine thank you.

508
00:25:43,751 --> 00:25:46,084
She seems a very nice
girl, I was just saying,

509
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,544
wasn't I Bob, what a nice girl she seems.

510
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:49,754
Very friendly.

511
00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:50,588
Ah well, she might not be so friendly

512
00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:52,298
if I don't get this lot back.

513
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:53,883
It's nice to see you.

514
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:54,886
So long Bob.

515
00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,384
Well.

516
00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:00,802
Well what.

517
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,641
What a transformation.

518
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:04,180
It's quite obvious who's got the whip hand

519
00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,645
in that relationship.

520
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:06,888
How do you mean?

521
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,390
When you see the man
spending his evening

522
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,062
doing the shopping.

523
00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,685
Now come along Bob, where's mango chutney.

524
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,231
Aisle seven.

525
00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,695
Pickles and relishes.

526
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:18,157
You seen much of the area Chris?

527
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,527
Has Terry been showing you around.

528
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:22,119
I've shown her the brewery
and the football ground.

529
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,410
I've seen very little
of England since I arrive.

530
00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:30,790
Well people in the south don't realise

531
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:32,710
how lucky we are up here.

532
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:35,129
I mean, I know the city
itself is a bit grimy

533
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:37,878
but outside we're surrounded
by breathtaking grandeur,

534
00:26:37,888 --> 00:26:38,719
aren't we Bob.

535
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,838
What?

536
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,305
Oh breathtaking, yes.

537
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:46,307
And for a young couple, well,
there's so many amenities.

538
00:26:47,481 --> 00:26:48,642
Bob and I are always saying

539
00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:52,142
what a full and exciting life
we lead, aren't we darling.

540
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:53,734
Yes, we're always saying that.

541
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,322
Well shall we have some coffee.

542
00:26:58,325 --> 00:26:59,657
Would you like me to give you a hand?

543
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,401
No no no no, you boys stay here.

544
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,618
Chris and I'll manage.

545
00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:06,374
Excuse us.

546
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:15,757
She's a very nice girl, Chris.

547
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:17,842
What, oh yeah.

548
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:19,461
Curious that she's foreign.

549
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:20,552
Like your wife was.

550
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,257
My wife was German.

551
00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:25,975
Chris is Finnish.

552
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,719
There is a world of difference.

553
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:30,517
Only the Baltic.

554
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:33,808
Canny evening though Bob.

555
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,060
Can't you see what Thelma's up to.

556
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,777
This is all part of her new strategy.

557
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:37,611
What do you mean?

558
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:39,196
Well you're still a threat, aren't you.

559
00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:41,942
A link with my past, and freedom.

560
00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:43,193
I'm very unsettled these days

561
00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:45,320
so the best solution all
round is to get you involved.

562
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,366
Hitched up.

563
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:47,705
Pigeon-holed like the rest of us.

564
00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:50,041
Filed under M for marriage, case closed.

565
00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:52,456
Look mate, I've just come
out of one tragic marriage.

566
00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:53,919
I'm not gonna get hitched up again.

567
00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,834
But you're involved, aren't you.

568
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,833
You're behaving very out of character.

569
00:27:57,843 --> 00:28:00,756
Normally your attitude
to women's very clearcut.

570
00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:03,505
You're selfish, thoughtless
and a typically northern

571
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:04,926
male chauvinist pig.

572
00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,674
It's what I do well.

573
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,051
Well you're losing your touch.

574
00:28:08,061 --> 00:28:09,677
I'm just trying to warn you.

575
00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,429
In the ensuing weeks
they'll be a succession of

576
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,602
suggested activities
involving the four of us.

577
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:16,898
Poor Bob, there's no
need for you to get upset.

578
00:28:16,904 --> 00:28:18,941
There's nothing here that I can't handle.

579
00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:21,022
Promise.

580
00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:22,524
Honest.

581
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:23,534
Good lad.

582
00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:27,571
We've just had the most wonderful idea.

583
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,831
Why don't the four of us go away together

584
00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,541
for a long weekend?

585
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,206
We could take my father's caravan.

586
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,215
Terry.

587
00:28:38,592 --> 00:28:40,959
Yes well it's a lovely
thought Thelma but, you know,

588
00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:42,801
I've never been at home in the country.

589
00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:45,672
I've always had a deep mistrust of nature.

590
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,048
Oh but it would be so good for me

591
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:49,346
to see something of England at last.

592
00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:51,219
We'll talk it over later shall we.

593
00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:04,736
Here you are pet.

594
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:05,574
- Where shall I?
- Now you go in

595
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:06,408
the back Christina,

596
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,243
- Thank you.
- and I'll go in the front.

597
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:10,990
The weather forecast
says scattered showers.

598
00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:13,366
My horoscope is ominous, as is yours.

599
00:29:13,377 --> 00:29:15,039
Oh, might not be too bad.

600
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:16,581
I was relying on you
to get us out of this.

601
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,955
She can be very persuasive, that Chris.

602
00:29:18,966 --> 00:29:21,253
What did she use, birch twigs?

603
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,592
Listen Bob.

604
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,460
Sometimes, in the chocolate box of life,

605
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:26,053
it is necessary to give up the marzipan

606
00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:29,345
in order to keep the
peppermint cream for yourself.

607
00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:30,351
Bloody hell.

608
00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:48,363
Anyone want a treacle toffee?

609
00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,532
Not for me thanks, I
must watch my figure.

610
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:51,370
- Oh.
- It's a figure

611
00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:52,373
worth watching pet.

612
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:23,520
Where do you want me to stop?

613
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:26,113
Oh somewhere scenic, hmm.

614
00:30:35,125 --> 00:30:36,536
Not much for Chris is it.

615
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:41,371
I wanted to show her the glories
of the English countryside.

616
00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:43,714
All you can see is other caravans.

617
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:46,050
I can see a telegraph pole through here.

618
00:30:46,053 --> 00:30:47,589
And the bumper of a black Ford Zephyr.

619
00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:48,632
Look it's not my fault.

620
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:51,176
You've got to stop at the
official sites or a lay-by

621
00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:53,015
and there's nothing very
scenic about a lay-by.

622
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:55,101
Do you know, I'm sure the
cutlery must be in this drawer

623
00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:55,934
but I can't seem to get it open.

624
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:57,053
Here let me see.

625
00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:57,895
Oh!

626
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:58,979
Sorry Chris, was that your foot.

627
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,348
Careful Bob.

628
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:02,601
Bob why don't we just get
out of the girls' way, eh.

629
00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:03,567
Where is the crockery?

630
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:08,197
Why do not these two
just get out of the way?

631
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,157
Yes I suppose so, then we
can get on with the meal.

632
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,197
Yes, we'll just go
down to the local and...

633
00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:13,285
Bring back some wine.

634
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:14,574
Well don't be too long.

635
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:17,164
This field princess only
has to be heated up.

636
00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:18,248
Where are the crockery?

637
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:21,995
All right then, we'll
get out of their way.

638
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,299
There are the cutlery.

639
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:39,762
Could've had another swift half.

640
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:40,638
Ah better get back.

641
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:43,266
Don't want your Thelma's veal
whatsit to get cold, do we.

642
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,938
My God, you sound like me.

643
00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:45,776
Do I?

644
00:31:45,779 --> 00:31:46,815
Well you're certainly not yourself.

645
00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:49,860
Might as well get the
weekend off on the right foot.

646
00:31:49,866 --> 00:31:52,233
Well they'll be chuffed
to see us back so soon.

647
00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:59,203
Hmm, it's perfect.

648
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:04,920
Hey Bob.

649
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,004
What?

650
00:32:06,007 --> 00:32:08,624
Can you remember where our caravan was?

651
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,337
I think I recognise that Volvo.

652
00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:13,883
We were near a black Zephyr.

653
00:32:17,394 --> 00:32:19,226
There was a dog, an Airedale,

654
00:32:19,229 --> 00:32:20,345
standing outside the caravan next to ours.

655
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:23,098
Do you think it'll still
be there rooted to the spot?

656
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:26,184
Look don't get nark with me mate,

657
00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:27,310
just 'cause you lost our way.

658
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,437
Listen, you're the ex bloody boy scout.

659
00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:30,939
Can't you take a bearing from the moon

660
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:33,157
or find a spore or something.

661
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,368
Oh, I seem to have
left my compass at home.

662
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:36,611
How careless of me!

663
00:32:43,170 --> 00:32:44,170
Well it's ruined.

664
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:47,376
It's completely ruined.

665
00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:53,795
Thelma!

666
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:01,097
Bob!

667
00:33:01,104 --> 00:33:03,312
Yes darling, where are you?

668
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:04,931
I'm here!

669
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:06,728
Where the hell's here?

670
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,152
I would've liked so much
to see the Holy Island.

671
00:33:19,915 --> 00:33:21,952
I'd have liked you
to have seen it Chris.

672
00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,621
Look you can only get
to it when the tide's out.

673
00:33:24,628 --> 00:33:26,836
Bob and I can't control the tide.

674
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,329
If you and Bob had
got up a little earlier

675
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,172
we'd have caught the tide.

676
00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,962
But then we'd have been cut-off.

677
00:33:31,968 --> 00:33:32,968
Marooned.

678
00:33:34,596 --> 00:33:37,930
I did so want you to see Holy Island.

679
00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:40,346
Oh I didn't know you
wanted to be marooned.

680
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,059
I mean if you'd said, let's go away

681
00:33:42,062 --> 00:33:44,395
and get marooned for the
weekend, we could've made plans.

682
00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:45,888
Oh don't be so childish Bob.

683
00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:47,940
And why are we in this lane?

684
00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:49,809
It's not easy with a caravan behind you

685
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,560
and no wing mirrors.

686
00:33:51,571 --> 00:33:53,153
They haven't gone again.

687
00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:53,987
When?

688
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:55,902
When we picked up Terry and Chris.

689
00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,741
I said we shouldn't go for coffee.

690
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,207
Bloody hell.

691
00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:16,761
Here, you will need these.

692
00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:17,844
What for?

693
00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:19,258
We hike.

694
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,266
We what?

695
00:34:21,810 --> 00:34:23,722
To see Roman wall.

696
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:26,015
I must see Roman wall.

697
00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:28,560
Well it's just a wall,
woman, an old wall.

698
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:31,184
There's no point in hiking
across miles of desolate moor

699
00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:33,277
just for a glimpse of an old wall.

700
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,522
Terry, so far I see nothing.

701
00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:38,525
We miss Holy Island because
last night you two come home

702
00:34:38,535 --> 00:34:40,071
drunk as the skunks.

703
00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,319
We simply drank that wine

704
00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:43,286
to keep the chill out of our bones.

705
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:46,124
Best way to keep chill
out of bones is to hike.

706
00:34:58,054 --> 00:35:01,297
Eh, fancy being a Roman
soldier and getting posted here.

707
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:03,721
Must've been the worst
posting in the Roman army.

708
00:35:05,145 --> 00:35:08,809
I bet some poor centurion,
thinks he might get Carthage

709
00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:10,056
or sunny Sparta.

710
00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:12,562
He ends up with Northumbria.

711
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:15,524
Nothing to do but rape and pillage.

712
00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:18,564
I don't suppose there's much rape up here,

713
00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:20,612
too cold to drop your trousers.

714
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:21,484
Bob.

715
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:22,860
Only a joke, only a joke.

716
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,080
Thank you.

717
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:27,910
Oh where have they got to?

718
00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,659
We've got better things
to do than sit here

719
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:32,036
in this scruffy little cafe.

720
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:34,588
Have we?

721
00:35:34,591 --> 00:35:36,753
I thought we might go
and see Hermiston Castle.

722
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,423
Oh God, not another draughty castle.

723
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:42,012
You do realise Mary Queen
of Scots stayed there.

724
00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:45,725
Must've frozen her knackers off.

725
00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:50,392
Hello.

726
00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:52,014
Oh, we were getting worried about you.

727
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:54,733
Oh it was so wonderful,
we walked for miles.

728
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:57,479
The air is so good for the complexion.

729
00:35:57,489 --> 00:36:00,402
You should see Terry, he has
such colour in his cheeks.

730
00:36:32,273 --> 00:36:35,186
You do realise that was
the master's bid, partner.

731
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:36,525
So?

732
00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:38,815
It was a daft card, mate,
you should've trumped in.

733
00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:40,063
I'll trump you in a minute.

734
00:36:40,073 --> 00:36:41,314
Oh don't get annoyed Terry.

735
00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:42,656
If you want to learn.

736
00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:44,696
I don't want to learn, not bridge.

737
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:47,446
Why can't we play three
card brag or pontoon?

738
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:50,448
It can be a great social asset, bridge.

739
00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:03,711
I always had this fear of being on a

740
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:05,714
slow boat to somewhere.

741
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,592
One of those tramp steamers
in the Indian Ocean.

742
00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:11,389
There's Ava Gardner, Wilfred Hyde-White,

743
00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:13,228
me and a man in dark glasses with one arm

744
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,143
who got on at Tangier.

745
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,688
Four strangers thrown
together by a whim of fate.

746
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:20,986
And I was the only one
who couldn't play bridge.

747
00:37:20,989 --> 00:37:22,776
I'd be an outcast.

748
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:25,320
Spend my nights pacing the poop deck.

749
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:28,319
Their laughter and jollity
taunting me through the porthole.

750
00:37:29,164 --> 00:37:31,531
And by the time we reach Madagascar,

751
00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:33,658
Ava would belong to
the one-armed stranger.

752
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,249
Bit of a blow that.

753
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:41,374
Finding the one you love
in the arm of another.

754
00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:50,804
How did he shuffle?

755
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:53,553
Pardon.

756
00:37:53,563 --> 00:37:56,055
How did he shuffle with only one arm?

757
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:57,931
Well I don't know, do I
know, not being in the cabin

758
00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,353
with the others.

759
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,726
So.

760
00:38:00,737 --> 00:38:03,320
Two all with six doubles,
that's 400 points to us.

761
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,776
It's your deal Bob.

762
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:07,901
Yes, well I have to pace the poop deck.

763
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:17,417
I can hear that jollity
through the porthole.

764
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:18,420
Huh.

765
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,556
I apologise.

766
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:37,055
I'm so embarrassed.

767
00:38:37,065 --> 00:38:38,181
Please, it's the first time all night

768
00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:40,023
I've known what he's got in his hand.

769
00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:57,376
Help!

770
00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:04,508
Help!

771
00:39:06,970 --> 00:39:07,970
Help!

772
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:11,088
Bob, Bob!

773
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,260
Come here man, quickly.

774
00:39:13,142 --> 00:39:14,474
Easy now Terry.

775
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:17,060
If they sense your fear
they go for the throat.

776
00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:18,395
Come off it man.

777
00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:22,187
Go on, oi, oi,
move 'em on, move 'em out.

778
00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:24,606
This is how Clint Eastwood started.

779
00:39:24,612 --> 00:39:25,612
Oi oi.

780
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:27,489
Oi!

781
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:30,862
I've always had a deep mistrust of cows.

782
00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:34,411
Cows and snakes and grasshoppers.

783
00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,282
What you doing, anyhow,
in a field at dawn?

784
00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:39,875
Well what do you think I'm
doing, picking mushrooms.

785
00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:41,494
Well you wanted to come.

786
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:44,212
You wanted to sample the
delights of domestic bliss.

787
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,673
In the chocolate box of life
you can't have your marzipan

788
00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:47,676
and eat it.

789
00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:53,222
Have you ever seen anybody
change as much as that Chris?

790
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:55,841
Aye, well, she does seem
to be a bit the outdoor type.

791
00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:56,763
A bit?!

792
00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:59,102
I come away with a sexy
girl from a boutique

793
00:39:59,105 --> 00:40:00,562
and what do I end up with.

794
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,648
Sherpa bloody Tenzing.

795
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:05,017
She does exercises first
thing in the morning

796
00:40:05,028 --> 00:40:06,894
and last thing at night.

797
00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:08,612
Oh I thought that was you and her...

798
00:40:08,615 --> 00:40:10,106
No, no chance mate.

799
00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:11,823
That was her doing her pushups.

800
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:15,569
It's gonna be
another terrible day.

801
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:16,661
I can barely walk.

802
00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:20,032
Just to go home
and get into a hot bath.

803
00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:20,874
Why don't we?

804
00:40:20,877 --> 00:40:22,709
- What?
- Go home.

805
00:40:22,712 --> 00:40:24,078
The girls are still asleep.

806
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:26,455
Well that's the point, we can
just hitch up and head home.

807
00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:29,675
We can't do that.

808
00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:30,677
Can we?

809
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:51,731
Don't slam the door.

810
00:41:12,762 --> 00:41:14,799
We won't half get some
stick when they find out.

811
00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:16,422
When we get stick at
least we'll be in the warmth

812
00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:17,673
of your garage.

813
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,896
We'll be back in time for a drink.

814
00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:30,986
Watch the box this afternoon.

815
00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:32,196
Early to bed.

816
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:33,939
That's what a weekend should be.

817
00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:36,613
Sport, sleep, slippers and sex.

818
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,077
Not necessarily in that order.

819
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:47,087
Hey look at that.

820
00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:51,298
Isn't that typical.

821
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,836
The lure of Sod.

822
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:54,051
You only see girl hitchhikers

823
00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:55,669
when you've got the wife with you.

824
00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:57,755
Not bad either.

825
00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:00,007
Not bad at all.

826
00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:08,520
Mind you my wife
isn't really with me is she.

827
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:09,733
In tow though.

828
00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:13,232
Still, out of sight, out of mind.

829
00:42:15,116 --> 00:42:16,527
Good thinking Robert.

830
00:42:25,126 --> 00:42:26,207
Look over there.

831
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,872
They're coming back.

832
00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,211
Can we be of assistance girls?

833
00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:37,844
Treacle toffee girls?

834
00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:38,847
Oh thank you.

835
00:42:40,808 --> 00:42:41,889
Ta.

836
00:42:41,893 --> 00:42:43,009
Where have you been?

837
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:44,476
Edinburgh, Sandy's got an aunt there.

838
00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:45,720
She's Sandy, I'm Glenys.

839
00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:47,187
I'm Bob, this is Terry.

840
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:48,556
- Hi.
- Hello.

841
00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:49,397
I envy you.

842
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:50,561
It's what I'd like to do.

843
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:53,436
On the road, just a blanket
roll and a harmonica.

844
00:42:53,446 --> 00:42:54,778
Thumbing me way around the world.

845
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,317
Aye, me an' all.

846
00:42:56,324 --> 00:42:57,690
You?

847
00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:59,487
Wouldn't you miss your sex and slippers?

848
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:03,195
You're taking a bit
of a chance aren't you?

849
00:43:03,206 --> 00:43:04,788
How do you mean?

850
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:05,827
Hitchhiking.

851
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,165
Letting a couple of fellas pick you up.

852
00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:08,875
I mean we could be anybody.

853
00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:10,460
When you've been
hitching as long as we have

854
00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:12,546
you get to know the danger signals.

855
00:43:12,548 --> 00:43:14,710
Oh don't we have any
danger signals then.

856
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:18,507
Not when you're towing a caravan.

857
00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:21,005
You don't know what we've got
in the back of that caravan.

858
00:43:23,810 --> 00:43:25,517
For God's sake, don't tell them.

859
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,210
Oh hello.

860
00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:53,670
Hello.

861
00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:54,789
The boys are up early.

862
00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:56,461
That's unusual.

863
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:57,503
I must spend a penny.

864
00:44:00,429 --> 00:44:01,920
All I know is I've got to go,

865
00:44:01,931 --> 00:44:05,095
and if you've got to go you've got to.

866
00:44:14,694 --> 00:44:17,152
Bob!

867
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,584
Well I would if you wouldn't.

868
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,499
Oh I would, I would.

869
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,336
Which one?

870
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:36,250
Not fussy.

871
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:37,589
Go on, go on.

872
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:38,708
All right then.

873
00:44:38,718 --> 00:44:39,708
Glenys.

874
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:40,719
Fine.

875
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:43,508
Which one's Glenys?

876
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:44,675
The one behind you.

877
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:45,638
Oh I fancied her.

878
00:44:45,641 --> 00:44:47,758
All right then, you
have her, you have her.

879
00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:49,350
It's all academic though isn't it.

880
00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:51,390
Sorting out who's gonna
have Sandy and Glenys

881
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:55,227
You'd better see how they are.

882
00:44:55,234 --> 00:44:56,190
Yeah.

883
00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:58,686
I want the stamps, mind,
and the tropical tumbler.

884
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,359
Thelma?

885
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:06,826
Thelma dearest.

886
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:08,821
Terry, Terry they've gone.

887
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:09,662
Who's gone?

888
00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:11,657
Thelma and Chris, they've disappeared.

889
00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:13,784
Don't be daft.

890
00:45:13,794 --> 00:45:14,794
Can't disappear.

891
00:45:15,630 --> 00:45:16,461
The door's open.

892
00:45:16,464 --> 00:45:18,126
They've fallen out.

893
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:20,461
Ah, well don't be greedy lads.

894
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,380
You've still got Sandy and Glenys.

895
00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:36,644
- Oi stop.
- Where you going?

896
00:45:36,651 --> 00:45:37,767
Hey stop!

897
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:39,901
They've gone off

898
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:41,691
and left us.
- Hey, what we gonna do!

899
00:45:41,697 --> 00:45:43,529
Are you going south?

900
00:45:43,532 --> 00:45:44,488
Yeah, why.

901
00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:46,859
I wonder if you could help me.

902
00:45:46,869 --> 00:45:49,452
You see, I've got two young
ladies here in trouble.

903
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,167
You don't care do you?

904
00:45:58,798 --> 00:45:59,629
It's a judgement on us

905
00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,089
for you picking up them hitchhikers.

906
00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:02,173
Me?

907
00:46:02,176 --> 00:46:03,667
It was your idea.

908
00:46:03,678 --> 00:46:04,964
I'll never forgive myself.

909
00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:07,470
Nor will Thelma.

910
00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:09,385
I won't forgive him for this.

911
00:46:09,392 --> 00:46:10,849
I've never been so embarrassed...

912
00:46:10,851 --> 00:46:11,682
In all my life.

913
00:46:11,686 --> 00:46:13,143
In front of all those people.

914
00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:14,681
And the Boys' Brigade.

915
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:16,980
That vicar.

916
00:46:16,983 --> 00:46:19,066
You'd never believe it to
look at him, would you.

917
00:46:25,408 --> 00:46:27,070
It must've been that
steep hill, remember.

918
00:46:27,076 --> 00:46:28,442
Miles back.

919
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:30,444
I can't see how they
could've slithered out of bed

920
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:31,740
then out the door.

921
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,158
Not both of them.

922
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:35,157
They could've rolled
down that steep hill.

923
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:36,658
They'll be lying there
bleeding and bruised

924
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:37,750
on the hard shoulder.

925
00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:40,130
There they are.

926
00:47:18,961 --> 00:47:21,123
What's he keep bleeping about?

927
00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:23,543
Go on, get past, get past me.

928
00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:26,792
There's our caravan.

929
00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:27,802
Stop, stop!

930
00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:56,373
Thelma.

931
00:47:57,124 --> 00:47:58,535
That's everything.

932
00:47:58,542 --> 00:47:59,542
Darling.

933
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:01,910
I said that's everything.

934
00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:06,873
Oh don't unpack darling,
I'll take care of that.

935
00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,044
Then I want to do all those
jobs I've been putting off

936
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:11,386
for the last two years.

937
00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:14,422
There's that window frame.

938
00:48:14,433 --> 00:48:16,220
And the garden needs some attention.

939
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,557
Oh look, I know it was
your father's caravan

940
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,646
but you don't have to
go on and on about it.

941
00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:23,436
My insurance will cover that.

942
00:48:25,236 --> 00:48:27,068
Look I'm the one who's suffering.

943
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:28,903
I'm the one who'll go to court.

944
00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,819
I'm the one who got the
lump on the head, remember.

945
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:34,910
Who hasn't complained about
blinding headaches and nausea

946
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:35,902
and dizzy spells.

947
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,246
Who might collapse in a couple
of days with delayed shock

948
00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:39,249
and loss of vision.

949
00:48:40,793 --> 00:48:42,329
Oh.

950
00:48:42,336 --> 00:48:43,336
Oh shut up!

951
00:48:54,723 --> 00:48:56,931
Look there's no need
for you to get upset.

952
00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:58,721
It was my head that hit the windscreen.

953
00:48:58,727 --> 00:49:00,468
I'm the one with the lump.

954
00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:03,096
I learned much this weekend Terry.

955
00:49:03,107 --> 00:49:05,850
It has been, how you say in
English, an eyesore for me.

956
00:49:06,819 --> 00:49:07,684
Opener.

957
00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:08,526
What?

958
00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:09,770
Eye opener.

959
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,021
Oh if you say so.

960
00:49:14,535 --> 00:49:17,869
Oh come on man, it's not that drastic.

961
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:20,239
I think I understand you Terry.

962
00:49:20,249 --> 00:49:22,206
It is better I'm not here.

963
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:23,209
You can call me.

964
00:49:24,086 --> 00:49:26,669
Oh Chris I can't stand
saying goodbye like this.

965
00:49:28,090 --> 00:49:28,955
You really mean that?

966
00:49:28,966 --> 00:49:31,674
Yeah, you finish packed
and I'm going round the pub.

967
00:49:52,448 --> 00:49:53,689
Hey watch it!

968
00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:17,555
Oh rats!

969
00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:20,934
Hey!

970
00:50:33,489 --> 00:50:34,489
Ow!

971
00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:40,451
I must go soon.

972
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:43,367
I don't want to be here
when Terry gets back.

973
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:45,161
It's good of you to
have talked to me Chris.

974
00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:46,908
I appreciate that.

975
00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:49,206
And the wine and the ham sandwich.

976
00:50:50,506 --> 00:50:52,543
What about Thelma, do
you not go home to her.

977
00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:56,214
No I'm not getting breathalysed
on top of everything else.

978
00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,670
Oh.

979
00:50:58,681 --> 00:51:00,343
Oh you are so tired.

980
00:51:00,349 --> 00:51:01,510
I'd put you up.

981
00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:04,805
You've put up with me long enough.

982
00:51:04,812 --> 00:51:06,599
No, I not mean with.

983
00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:09,313
I mean, I up put you.

984
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:10,932
No no, I don't want to put you out.

985
00:51:10,943 --> 00:51:12,525
I'm not put out.

986
00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:15,362
You are nice person, you
come to bed and I put you up.

987
00:51:18,284 --> 00:51:20,276
Chris, please.

988
00:51:20,286 --> 00:51:21,493
Is this wise?

989
00:51:21,495 --> 00:51:24,158
Two lonely people, ships
that pass in the night.

990
00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:25,826
Don't be silly.

991
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:27,540
I mean you sleep here.

992
00:51:28,669 --> 00:51:29,876
Oh.

993
00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:31,164
Should I ring Thelma?

994
00:51:31,171 --> 00:51:32,582
Yes, yes, perhaps you better.

995
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:33,831
What should I tell her?

996
00:51:33,841 --> 00:51:35,582
Tell her I left the
money for the cleaning lady

997
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:36,800
in my Coronation mug.

998
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:39,711
Oh.

999
00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:41,213
Is that all?

1000
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:42,714
No.

1001
00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:44,261
Tell her I tried.

1002
00:51:44,268 --> 00:51:45,475
God knows I tried.

1003
00:52:02,036 --> 00:52:03,197
Oh I'm sorry.

1004
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:04,203
Hello Mr Collier.

1005
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,704
It's young Marcia isn't it?

1006
00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:08,118
Shouldn't you be in bed.

1007
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:09,866
We'd rather be, but me dad's in.

1008
00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:11,334
That's why we're in the lift.

1009
00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:12,794
Yes well, if you don't mind I just...

1010
00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:15,004
It's out of order.

1011
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,007
Ta-ra.

1012
00:52:16,717 --> 00:52:19,050
Yes well, I need the exercise.

1013
00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:47,700
Ah pet.

1014
00:52:47,706 --> 00:52:49,493
You stayed after all did you.

1015
00:52:50,793 --> 00:52:52,159
Well.

1016
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:53,159
I didn't make you.

1017
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:55,287
Just you remember that.

1018
00:52:55,297 --> 00:52:56,378
It was your decision.

1019
00:52:58,509 --> 00:52:59,509
Still.

1020
00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:01,547
Now you're here eh.

1021
00:53:06,975 --> 00:53:11,219
I saw that young Marcia
from 14B in the lift.

1022
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:13,347
Aye, she hasn't half shot up.

1023
00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:23,948
Oh the sheets are cold.

1024
00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:29,872
Still.

1025
00:53:30,582 --> 00:53:32,244
You've got nice warm feet though.

1026
00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:37,380
Aw come on Chris.

1027
00:53:39,216 --> 00:53:41,128
Best part of having a row is making up.

1028
00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:48,599
Chris.

1029
00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:52,395
I want you.

1030
00:53:55,023 --> 00:54:00,018
I need you.

1031
00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,187
And I need you Thelma.

1032
00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:03,813
- Eh?
- Thelma?

1033
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:05,611
- What?
- Oh, oh get off.

1034
00:54:05,617 --> 00:54:06,617
Oh my God.

1035
00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:17,209
Hey, get away from
there you little buggers.

1036
00:54:17,212 --> 00:54:22,207
Go on!

1037
00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:26,051
Morning Tommy.

1038
00:54:26,054 --> 00:54:27,465
- Morning Terry.
- Cancel the yoghourt.

1039
00:54:27,473 --> 00:54:28,805
Oh dear, madam's gone has she.

1040
00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:29,888
Afraid so.

1041
00:54:29,892 --> 00:54:31,224
Do you need both pints?

1042
00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:32,433
Aye, got another house guest now.

1043
00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:33,972
Where's the Eno's?

1044
00:54:33,979 --> 00:54:36,221
She's not as pretty
as that last one is she.

1045
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:42,026
Did you sleep all right?

1046
00:54:42,029 --> 00:54:43,145
No I didn't sleep a wink.

1047
00:54:43,155 --> 00:54:45,021
I had a very restless night.

1048
00:54:45,032 --> 00:54:46,318
Did Thelma call?

1049
00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:47,156
No.

1050
00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:47,990
Are you sure?

1051
00:54:47,993 --> 00:54:49,074
Positive.

1052
00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,238
We haven't got a phone.

1053
00:55:02,090 --> 00:55:04,673
Same sort of thing happened
to me when I was married.

1054
00:55:04,676 --> 00:55:07,510
Weekend away, not in a caravan mind.

1055
00:55:07,513 --> 00:55:09,425
It was in a barge up the Rhine.

1056
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,388
Or down the Rhine, I can't remember which.

1057
00:55:11,391 --> 00:55:13,303
The same sort of problems came to light,

1058
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:14,972
with the proximity, you know.

1059
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:18,471
Habits of a lifetime being
questioned by somebody else.

1060
00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:20,940
Little things like smoking in bed or

1061
00:55:20,943 --> 00:55:22,354
gargling the Happy Wanderer.

1062
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:24,894
Used to get on her nerves.

1063
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:27,272
No more than it got on my nerves mind.

1064
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:30,821
Seeing her in her Carmen rollers
whistling the Horst Wessel.

1065
00:55:30,828 --> 00:55:33,036
I knew then it couldn't last.

1066
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,779
How long had you been
married when this happened?

1067
00:55:34,790 --> 00:55:36,656
Two days, we were on our honeymoon.

1068
00:55:37,626 --> 00:55:40,118
Well perhaps you were just
not meant to be a couple.

1069
00:55:40,128 --> 00:55:42,541
Maybe it's a good job
I found out at last.

1070
00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:43,379
Hmm.

1071
00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:45,544
Pity you had to find out at
the expense of my marriage.

1072
00:55:45,551 --> 00:55:46,587
Well well,
that's just one of life's

1073
00:55:46,593 --> 00:55:48,300
bitter ironies Bob.

1074
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,760
I suffer a lot from those.

1075
00:55:57,020 --> 00:55:58,101
Will you be back tonight?

1076
00:55:58,105 --> 00:55:59,516
I suppose so, it just depends.

1077
00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:02,186
Some time today I'll
drive over and see Thelma.

1078
00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:03,399
I doubt it.

1079
00:56:03,402 --> 00:56:04,402
Why?

1080
00:56:24,381 --> 00:56:25,417
Hello Terry.

1081
00:56:25,424 --> 00:56:26,756
Hello, em...

1082
00:56:26,758 --> 00:56:27,965
- Iris.
- Iris, right.

1083
00:56:27,968 --> 00:56:29,379
Chris is out to lunch.

1084
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:31,503
Oh she left a few things.

1085
00:56:31,513 --> 00:56:32,344
Would you give 'em to her?

1086
00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:33,633
Of course.

1087
00:56:35,475 --> 00:56:37,057
I'm sorry like.

1088
00:56:37,060 --> 00:56:38,176
But you know what they say.

1089
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:39,393
Time's a great healer.

1090
00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:41,228
Aye, so I've heard.

1091
00:56:42,858 --> 00:56:44,019
What you doing tonight Iris?

1092
00:57:05,213 --> 00:57:06,213
Sorry Marcia.

1093
00:57:27,235 --> 00:57:28,476
Terry?

1094
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:29,487
Terry are you in?

1095
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,067
I brought some food in.

1096
00:57:36,662 --> 00:57:38,403
Is there any beer in the house?

1097
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:40,623
Oh good.

1098
00:57:48,757 --> 00:57:50,840
I've brought you a treat.

1099
00:57:54,346 --> 00:57:55,507
I'll put it in the oven.

1100
00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:00,178
Morning kidder.

1101
00:58:00,185 --> 00:58:01,642
Extra pint?
- No.

1102
00:58:11,947 --> 00:58:13,984
Oh, good morning.

1103
00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:14,822
Morning.

1104
00:58:14,825 --> 00:58:15,656
Any tea going is there?

1105
00:58:15,659 --> 00:58:17,366
It's there if you want it.

1106
00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:19,452
Look, I'm sorry about last night.

1107
00:58:19,454 --> 00:58:21,662
So much for bouncing back.

1108
00:58:21,665 --> 00:58:23,122
Who was she?

1109
00:58:23,125 --> 00:58:24,081
Iris.

1110
00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:25,084
Canny looking girl.

1111
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:27,293
I didn't see her face.

1112
00:58:28,839 --> 00:58:32,173
I saw precious little of
her after you barged in.

1113
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:34,007
Did you have to take her home then?

1114
00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:35,172
Well I put my slippers on

1115
00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:36,965
and walked her to the bus stop.

1116
00:58:36,972 --> 00:58:37,928
Eh my God.

1117
00:58:37,931 --> 00:58:38,762
What?

1118
00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:40,256
Well as far as women are concerned

1119
00:58:40,267 --> 00:58:42,600
you're hardly Omar Sharif are you.

1120
00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:44,514
If Omar Sharif lived in Gateshead

1121
00:58:44,521 --> 00:58:46,604
I doubt if he'd be Omar Sharif.

1122
00:58:57,617 --> 00:58:58,617
Ferris.

1123
00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:00,902
Say it with flowers is it.

1124
00:59:12,257 --> 00:59:13,418
Well have you spoken to Bob?

1125
00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:15,007
No Audrey.

1126
00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:16,967
Well he came round when I was at work.

1127
00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:20,759
He left some money, a note
regretting life's bitter ironies

1128
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:22,723
and some mangled flower stalks.

1129
00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:23,557
Oh.

1130
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,017
Well perhaps he was
trying to be symbolic.

1131
00:59:25,020 --> 00:59:26,181
I mean I've no idea.

1132
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:27,474
Well the only thing
that worries me, Thelma,

1133
00:59:27,481 --> 00:59:29,723
is that he's staying with my brother.

1134
00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:31,019
Now that can't help.

1135
00:59:31,026 --> 00:59:33,643
In all fairness, Audrey, it's
not entirely Terry's fault.

1136
00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:35,110
Not this time.

1137
00:59:35,113 --> 00:59:37,480
Bob's been very strange lately.

1138
00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:39,983
I think he's going
through a change of life.

1139
00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:42,453
- Ooh.
- Hmm.

1140
00:59:43,455 --> 00:59:45,117
Well, perhaps it's just
something he has to get

1141
00:59:45,123 --> 00:59:46,204
out of his system.

1142
00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:48,578
Eh!
- What?

1143
00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:50,952
Look at the cost of mandarin oranges.

1144
00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:54,629
They've gone up 3p since last week.

1145
00:59:54,633 --> 00:59:55,623
Well everything has.

1146
00:59:55,634 --> 00:59:58,126
I'm paying almost double what
I used to for Bob's yoghourt.

1147
00:59:58,136 --> 01:00:00,298
Well you won't have to this week love.

1148
01:00:00,305 --> 01:00:01,305
No.

1149
01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:04,340
Oh I'm sorry Thelma.

1150
01:00:04,351 --> 01:00:05,808
Oh it's all right.

1151
01:00:05,811 --> 01:00:06,847
I'm just being silly.

1152
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:13,892
I don't know what's
the matter with you Bob.

1153
01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,814
You're one of nature's married men.

1154
01:00:17,072 --> 01:00:18,813
Marriage isn't like those
commercials on television

1155
01:00:18,824 --> 01:00:19,940
is it Aud.

1156
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:23,614
Why can't Thelma and I run
hand in hand, in slow motion,

1157
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:26,454
through the long grass on
the way to the gas showrooms.

1158
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:29,369
Ads aren't life, Bob,
they're make believe.

1159
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:34,457
Oh marriage!

1160
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:36,455
Is it just too much to hope

1161
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,458
that one could have some
magic in one's marriage.

1162
01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:40,255
- Some what?
- Magic.

1163
01:00:40,262 --> 01:00:41,252
Well if it's magic you're after

1164
01:00:41,263 --> 01:00:43,004
we'll go round to Thelma's now.

1165
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:46,178
Lay her on the kitchen table
and you can saw her in half.

1166
01:00:46,184 --> 01:00:47,140
Oh Terry!

1167
01:00:47,144 --> 01:00:48,555
There's nothing wrong with Bob's marriage

1168
01:00:48,562 --> 01:00:50,679
that your emigration wouldn't put right.

1169
01:00:50,689 --> 01:00:52,976
It's not me, it's him.

1170
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,316
Mind you, I know how he feels.

1171
01:00:55,318 --> 01:00:57,560
One day a little voice inside says

1172
01:00:57,571 --> 01:01:00,484
maybe there's more to life
than this, and something snaps.

1173
01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:01,901
That's what's happened to Bob.

1174
01:01:01,908 --> 01:01:04,275
It happened to the Reverend
Jeffcock, look at him.

1175
01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,777
Years of devoted service

1176
01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:08,655
and suddenly he runs off
with a petrol pump attendant.

1177
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:09,951
Took all their Green Shield stamps

1178
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:11,950
and bought a catamaran.

1179
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:13,917
Well we all feel restless at times

1180
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,708
but we just have to accept
our responsibilities.

1181
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:20,337
Gaugain didn't.

1182
01:01:20,343 --> 01:01:22,209
He was in his 40s when
he just jacked it in

1183
01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:24,553
and went off to some island
to paint primitive nudes.

1184
01:01:24,556 --> 01:01:26,468
Oh, well, he was off
his rocker wasn't he.

1185
01:01:26,474 --> 01:01:27,760
I mean he cut his ear off.

1186
01:01:28,685 --> 01:01:30,301
That was Van Gogh.

1187
01:01:30,312 --> 01:01:32,520
Well there you are, there's another one.

1188
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:38,734
Thelma.

1189
01:01:38,737 --> 01:01:39,737
Audrey.

1190
01:01:41,781 --> 01:01:43,647
Thelma, I've just had Bob round here.

1191
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:46,196
Abject pet.

1192
01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:51,072
Look Thelma, I know
it's none of my business

1193
01:01:51,082 --> 01:01:52,994
but one of you's got to make a move.

1194
01:01:54,127 --> 01:01:57,040
Despite what they say, a
marriage is worth fighting for.

1195
01:01:58,256 --> 01:02:00,589
I'll clear up love, don't worry.

1196
01:02:00,592 --> 01:02:02,549
Oh go back to sleep you drunken pig.

1197
01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,557
We're ever so near the house.

1198
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,142
Let's go and see Thelma.

1199
01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:13,477
If you think it'll do any good.

1200
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:14,937
I do.

1201
01:02:14,940 --> 01:02:17,307
I think I'm learning about myself.

1202
01:02:17,317 --> 01:02:20,776
I don't know what I want but
I want her to be part of it.

1203
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,447
I think.

1204
01:02:25,283 --> 01:02:26,649
Mind you, I don't know
how's she gonna take

1205
01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:29,494
going off to some primitive
island while you paint nudes.

1206
01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:53,656
Terry?

1207
01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:54,824
Terry!

1208
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,493
Thelma's been out all night.

1209
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:57,330
What?

1210
01:03:57,334 --> 01:03:58,165
She's been out all night.

1211
01:03:58,168 --> 01:03:59,500
- Who?
- Thelma you fool.

1212
01:03:59,502 --> 01:04:00,458
She's not here.

1213
01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:02,294
Don't you realise what that means.

1214
01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:04,087
Yes.

1215
01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:05,581
She's been out all night.

1216
01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:17,811
Resume yoghourt.

1217
01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:21,639
♪ On a day like today ♪

1218
01:04:21,649 --> 01:04:25,643
♪ All my troubles seemed to float away ♪

1219
01:04:25,653 --> 01:04:28,862
♪ On a lovely day like today ♪

1220
01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:32,609
♪ I'm so happy to be in love ♪

1221
01:04:40,085 --> 01:04:41,542
♪ On a lovely day ♪

1222
01:04:41,544 --> 01:04:42,455
Not funny.

1223
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:43,293
What?

1224
01:04:43,296 --> 01:04:45,208
Your choice of music, not funny at all.

1225
01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:46,831
It's not for your benefit mate.

1226
01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:49,003
It's for the ladies of the
Elm Lodge housing estate.

1227
01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:50,967
One of which is my wife.

1228
01:04:50,970 --> 01:04:53,087
Only she's proved that she's no lady.

1229
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:56,174
Oh maybe it's perfectly innocent.

1230
01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:59,552
Maybe she was playing in a
tournament at the badminton club.

1231
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:01,019
Till seven in the morning?

1232
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:03,931
Could've been a tie-breaker.

1233
01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:07,319
Nobody cares.

1234
01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:13,403
♪ Oh on a lovely day like today ♪

1235
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:17,154
♪ I'm so happy to be in love ♪

1236
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:21,414
Well.

1237
01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:22,249
Don't you well me!

1238
01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:23,663
I'll well you as much as I like.

1239
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:26,875
It's quite obvious where
you two were last night.

1240
01:05:26,881 --> 01:05:28,543
Never mind about that,
where were you last night.

1241
01:05:28,550 --> 01:05:31,213
I know now what all your
restlessness is about.

1242
01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:32,460
I can say it in three letters.

1243
01:05:32,470 --> 01:05:34,382
S-E-X.

1244
01:05:34,389 --> 01:05:36,506
You must think I was born yesterday Bob.

1245
01:05:36,516 --> 01:05:40,726
The makers of Extralite
invite you to a demonstration

1246
01:05:40,728 --> 01:05:42,310
showing the powerful prowess

1247
01:05:42,313 --> 01:05:44,930
of their new improved washing powder.

1248
01:05:45,900 --> 01:05:50,440
Into the hot, into the cold,
into the light, shining bright,

1249
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:52,484
up to your nose, fresh as a rose.

1250
01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:53,947
Do you mind Terry, we'd
just like to be alone

1251
01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:54,781
for a few moments.

1252
01:05:54,784 --> 01:05:55,649
Things have to be said.

1253
01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:56,491
Certainly.

1254
01:05:56,494 --> 01:05:57,325
Be my guest.

1255
01:05:57,328 --> 01:05:58,364
Hello Thelma.

1256
01:05:58,371 --> 01:05:59,532
Pet.

1257
01:05:59,539 --> 01:06:01,826
I don't know why you brought me in here.

1258
01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:03,825
What I have to say to you won't take long.

1259
01:06:03,835 --> 01:06:05,622
I merely think we should
discuss things in private.

1260
01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:07,415
Let's not exhibit our domestic tantrums

1261
01:06:07,422 --> 01:06:09,505
to the entire Elm Lodge housing estate.

1262
01:06:09,507 --> 01:06:10,714
I'm not having a tantrum.

1263
01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,128
I'm perfectly calm.

1264
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:13,876
You often are when in shock.

1265
01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:14,718
It's me that was in shock.

1266
01:06:14,721 --> 01:06:16,132
Where were you all last night?

1267
01:06:16,139 --> 01:06:17,380
And don't tell me at your mother's

1268
01:06:17,390 --> 01:06:19,097
'cause I know they're in London
for the building exhibition.

1269
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,466
- Ah Bob...
- Get out.

1270
01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:21,684
- But, um...
- Get out.

1271
01:06:21,686 --> 01:06:24,224
All right, suit yourself.

1272
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:25,596
You haven't answered my question.

1273
01:06:25,607 --> 01:06:27,564
But you haven't answered my question.

1274
01:06:27,567 --> 01:06:28,648
What was your question?

1275
01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:30,108
Where were you last night?

1276
01:06:30,111 --> 01:06:31,477
That was my question!

1277
01:06:31,488 --> 01:06:32,945
You were not home last night.

1278
01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:34,939
You were out all night.

1279
01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:36,986
As were you.

1280
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:38,529
It's so easy for you.

1281
01:06:38,536 --> 01:06:40,903
It's the answer to all your problems.

1282
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:42,325
Look up the lads and go on the pull.

1283
01:06:42,332 --> 01:06:44,039
Isn't that the expression.

1284
01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:45,374
Well a woman can't do that.

1285
01:06:45,376 --> 01:06:47,538
Just go out and pick out
something she fancies

1286
01:06:47,545 --> 01:06:49,036
for a casual night of shame.

1287
01:06:49,047 --> 01:06:50,663
Well not this woman anyway.

1288
01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:52,630
This woman's foolish enough
to want to keep her love

1289
01:06:52,634 --> 01:06:54,170
for her husband.

1290
01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:55,338
Oh bollocks.

1291
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:10,061
Shame on you!

1292
01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:41,547
I know it's slightly academic now

1293
01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:44,722
but that was the biggest
turnout we ever had.

1294
01:07:44,727 --> 01:07:46,559
Is that the only aspect
of this ghastly affair

1295
01:07:46,563 --> 01:07:47,428
you can think about?

1296
01:07:47,438 --> 01:07:48,929
Your bloody Extralite sales.

1297
01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:52,900
I lost my job you know,
thanks to Radio Free Ferris.

1298
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:53,938
Oh yes, I'm sorry.

1299
01:07:53,945 --> 01:07:55,937
You lost your job.

1300
01:07:55,947 --> 01:07:57,563
I lost my direction in life.

1301
01:07:57,574 --> 01:07:58,530
Well so have I.

1302
01:07:58,533 --> 01:07:59,444
It's not so bad for you though.

1303
01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:01,157
Oh yes it is.

1304
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:03,698
Why do you always assume
the exclusive right

1305
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:05,071
to be miserable?

1306
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:07,664
You're so selfish you.

1307
01:08:07,667 --> 01:08:09,624
Don't you think I'm entitled
to wallow in self-pity

1308
01:08:09,627 --> 01:08:10,492
for a change?

1309
01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:13,337
I'm sorry, that was thoughtless of me.

1310
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:14,339
Aye well.

1311
01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:18,209
I don't know if this is
the answer, running away.

1312
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,178
Maybe I should take our
Audrey's advice and emigrate.

1313
01:08:21,180 --> 01:08:23,342
In the meantime, at least
you can console yourself

1314
01:08:23,349 --> 01:08:26,183
with a succession of Iris's
in your high-rise haven.

1315
01:08:26,185 --> 01:08:27,221
Those days are over kid.

1316
01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:28,389
Why?

1317
01:08:28,396 --> 01:08:30,683
My folks are back next Tuesday.

1318
01:08:30,690 --> 01:08:32,647
Well where am I gonna go?

1319
01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:34,391
I can't go back to Thelma's, not now.

1320
01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:36,234
Well go to your mother's.

1321
01:08:36,237 --> 01:08:39,230
Oh she's let my room
to that Zambian dentist.

1322
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,697
If she kicks him out
he'll have her in front of

1323
01:08:40,700 --> 01:08:41,941
the Race Relations Board.

1324
01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:52,956
I have the feeling that we're
the last two men on Earth.

1325
01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:54,123
Shall we go on the beach?

1326
01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:55,291
It's too cold.

1327
01:08:57,759 --> 01:08:58,715
We'll go to the pictures?

1328
01:08:58,718 --> 01:08:59,879
Cinema's closed.

1329
01:09:00,887 --> 01:09:01,887
They're twinning it.

1330
01:09:03,598 --> 01:09:05,055
How about the ice rink?

1331
01:09:05,058 --> 01:09:06,390
Doesn't open till Easter.

1332
01:09:08,227 --> 01:09:10,059
I noticed a church hall back there.

1333
01:09:10,897 --> 01:09:13,310
The senior citizens are
having a bring and buy.

1334
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:15,478
Something to keep up our sleeve.

1335
01:09:26,871 --> 01:09:29,739
We used to have great
times here when we were kids.

1336
01:09:29,749 --> 01:09:30,580
Aye.

1337
01:09:30,583 --> 01:09:32,449
Standing on the waltzer,
eyeing up all the talent

1338
01:09:32,460 --> 01:09:33,917
from the coach trips.

1339
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:35,707
We had no bother did we.

1340
01:09:35,713 --> 01:09:37,124
Not much.

1341
01:09:37,131 --> 01:09:38,292
Didn't have to take
them out to dinner either

1342
01:09:38,299 --> 01:09:39,585
to get our evil way.

1343
01:09:39,592 --> 01:09:40,799
Candy floss was enough.

1344
01:09:41,636 --> 01:09:43,798
You don't offer
them much more now.

1345
01:09:46,557 --> 01:09:48,719
Oh there must be some spare here.

1346
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:49,726
Even in the winter.

1347
01:09:51,270 --> 01:09:53,853
I know, let's go to Boots the Chemist.

1348
01:09:53,856 --> 01:09:54,687
Why?

1349
01:09:54,691 --> 01:09:56,398
Lots of girl work there.

1350
01:09:56,401 --> 01:09:57,687
No point.

1351
01:09:57,694 --> 01:09:58,855
It's early closing day.

1352
01:10:16,504 --> 01:10:18,211
How about that one?

1353
01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:19,955
Doesn't look too bad.

1354
01:10:27,473 --> 01:10:28,304
This'll do.

1355
01:10:28,307 --> 01:10:29,593
Why don't we just go home?

1356
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,307
We're on holiday man.

1357
01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:33,643
Don't worry, we'll have a
bath and then get out tonight.

1358
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:34,762
Where will we go?

1359
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,058
We've seen enough of this place to know

1360
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:36,896
there's sod all to do.

1361
01:10:36,899 --> 01:10:37,889
Let's go home.

1362
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:40,688
What possible attraction
could this place offer us?

1363
01:10:40,695 --> 01:10:42,061
Can I help you?

1364
01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:44,529
Er we're just wondering,
have you any vacancies?

1365
01:10:46,451 --> 01:10:49,785
My God, you steamed in fast enough.

1366
01:10:49,787 --> 01:10:50,903
Have you got a room?

1367
01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:52,905
My name's Bob, what time do you finish.

1368
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:55,908
Would you like to show a
lonely stranger round the town.

1369
01:10:55,918 --> 01:10:56,749
Huh!

1370
01:10:56,753 --> 01:10:58,119
I still know how to do it.

1371
01:10:58,129 --> 01:11:00,212
All those years of
training on the waltzer.

1372
01:11:00,214 --> 01:11:01,796
And what am I supposed to do?

1373
01:11:01,799 --> 01:11:03,415
Sit here till you get back.

1374
01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,009
All shagged out and
guilt-ridden, 'cause you will be,

1375
01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:07,012
I know you.

1376
01:11:10,141 --> 01:11:11,552
God you're a bad loser.

1377
01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:12,891
It's not that.

1378
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:14,760
You're a married man, Bob.

1379
01:11:14,771 --> 01:11:16,057
Adultery won't suit you.

1380
01:11:16,063 --> 01:11:17,224
You won't be able to sleep

1381
01:11:17,231 --> 01:11:18,972
and your hay-fever will come back.

1382
01:11:18,983 --> 01:11:21,691
Thelma has assumed that
I'm having elicit nookie.

1383
01:11:21,694 --> 01:11:22,775
So I may as well have it.

1384
01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:26,022
You might at least have
asked if she had a friend.

1385
01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:27,364
Don't wait up pet.

1386
01:11:27,366 --> 01:11:30,029
You dirty rotten filthy.

1387
01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:33,696
Lucky swine.

1388
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:43,297
What's the matter, you
forgotten your packet of thread.

1389
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:46,587
I beg your pardon.

1390
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:48,631
I'm sorry, I thought you were.

1391
01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:50,966
I brought you some towels.

1392
01:11:56,270 --> 01:11:57,270
I'm Noel Windsor.

1393
01:11:58,064 --> 01:12:00,602
I've believe you've met my daughter Dawn.

1394
01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:01,689
Oh I see.

1395
01:12:01,692 --> 01:12:03,684
Yes, um, Terry Collier.

1396
01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:08,818
Shall I turn down your bed?

1397
01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:09,825
Feel free.

1398
01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:18,832
I can't get it off.

1399
01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:19,835
Pardon?

1400
01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:22,665
Will you do it for me?

1401
01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:23,672
Sure.

1402
01:12:25,883 --> 01:12:27,340
All right.

1403
01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:29,084
They do save lives, seat-belts.

1404
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:37,346
Perhaps I should've
kept my safety belt on.

1405
01:12:37,353 --> 01:12:39,640
You're quite safe in my hands.

1406
01:12:39,647 --> 01:12:40,647
I'll bet.

1407
01:12:46,571 --> 01:12:47,402
Let's go inside.

1408
01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:48,691
What about your mam?

1409
01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,781
We mustn't make a noise, must we.

1410
01:13:22,356 --> 01:13:23,346
Do you want me?

1411
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:24,768
Yes.

1412
01:13:24,775 --> 01:13:25,775
Yes!

1413
01:13:45,630 --> 01:13:46,962
What's the matter?

1414
01:13:46,964 --> 01:13:49,172
Oh, have you got a coat hanger.

1415
01:14:19,205 --> 01:14:20,912
You can't stay all night

1416
01:14:20,915 --> 01:14:23,157
'cause if my mother
finds you she'll kill me.

1417
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:29,705
Are you nearly ready?

1418
01:14:47,942 --> 01:14:48,942
Dawn!

1419
01:14:50,277 --> 01:14:51,984
Who were you talking to in there?

1420
01:14:51,988 --> 01:14:53,149
No one!

1421
01:14:53,155 --> 01:14:54,771
I know there's someone with you.

1422
01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:57,315
I was playing a record.

1423
01:14:57,326 --> 01:14:58,658
Why is this door locked?

1424
01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:03,955
You open this door at once.

1425
01:15:03,958 --> 01:15:04,823
Ow!

1426
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,075
Be ashamed of yourself.

1427
01:15:06,085 --> 01:15:07,085
At your age.

1428
01:15:20,266 --> 01:15:21,723
I could have sworn there was.

1429
01:15:21,726 --> 01:15:23,888
Oh I'm sorry pet.

1430
01:15:23,894 --> 01:15:26,386
But ever since that business
with the cosmetics rep.

1431
01:15:26,397 --> 01:15:29,140
What sort of a girl do
you think I am mother?

1432
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:31,358
I've said I'm sorry pet.

1433
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:32,360
I worry.

1434
01:15:33,279 --> 01:15:34,565
At your age.

1435
01:15:34,572 --> 01:15:35,572
Night night.

1436
01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:51,499
Oh it's such a worry
when they're that age.

1437
01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,121
And in these permissive days.

1438
01:15:54,258 --> 01:15:56,966
I'm the one that has to worry
about her moral welfare.

1439
01:15:57,845 --> 01:15:59,381
Can't be easy.

1440
01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:01,175
I thought she had that
friend of yours in her room.

1441
01:16:01,182 --> 01:16:02,013
She didn't?

1442
01:16:02,016 --> 01:16:03,016
No, no.

1443
01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:05,308
He didn't then.

1444
01:16:05,311 --> 01:16:06,142
Pardon?

1445
01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:06,976
No no no, I was just saying,

1446
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:08,891
you've got no worries with him.

1447
01:16:08,898 --> 01:16:10,730
You, on the other hand.

1448
01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,816
Jumping Jack Flash.

1449
01:16:12,818 --> 01:16:14,059
You could trust me with your daughter.

1450
01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:16,107
Don't be daft.

1451
01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:18,230
You're only here so as I
can keep an eye on you.

1452
01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:23,447
Romeo, Romeo.

1453
01:16:24,330 --> 01:16:25,616
Where art thou Romeo?

1454
01:16:25,623 --> 01:16:28,582
I'm here, in the bloody flower bed.

1455
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,576
I'll let you in the front in a minute.

1456
01:16:53,651 --> 01:16:54,651
Mum?

1457
01:16:57,988 --> 01:16:59,729
Mother, who's in there.

1458
01:16:59,740 --> 01:17:02,574
Don't be silly Dawn, go to your bed.

1459
01:17:02,576 --> 01:17:04,033
Why is this door locked then?

1460
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:04,947
You've got someone in there.

1461
01:17:04,954 --> 01:17:06,741
Dawn, go to your room.

1462
01:17:07,706 --> 01:17:09,948
And Uncle's only been
back at sea two days.

1463
01:17:12,169 --> 01:17:13,626
You've no right to talk
to your mother like that.

1464
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:15,086
Wouldn't be the first time.

1465
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:18,582
What about that man that came
to convert us to natural gas.

1466
01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:19,592
Please yourself.

1467
01:17:40,865 --> 01:17:41,946
Sorry.

1468
01:17:41,949 --> 01:17:43,235
I'm sorry too love.

1469
01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:44,198
Good night then.

1470
01:17:44,201 --> 01:17:45,201
Good night.

1471
01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:47,739
You do trust me really, don't you Mum.

1472
01:17:47,746 --> 01:17:49,282
Of course.

1473
01:18:02,553 --> 01:18:04,294
Quickly pet, quickly!

1474
01:18:15,649 --> 01:18:16,560
You might've told
me there's a rose bush

1475
01:18:16,567 --> 01:18:17,567
under your window.

1476
01:18:18,777 --> 01:18:20,143
You?

1477
01:18:20,154 --> 01:18:21,690
How dare you!

1478
01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:22,938
You stuser.

1479
01:18:22,948 --> 01:18:25,235
You molester of defenceless teenage girls.

1480
01:18:25,242 --> 01:18:26,858
Get out of my house.

1481
01:18:26,869 --> 01:18:27,700
Of course, I'll just...

1482
01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:28,944
Out, out, before I call the police.

1483
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:30,240
Madam, please, gladly.

1484
01:18:30,247 --> 01:18:31,203
My trousers.

1485
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:32,207
Out!

1486
01:18:33,667 --> 01:18:34,667
Rapist!

1487
01:18:36,337 --> 01:18:37,168
God almighty!

1488
01:18:37,171 --> 01:18:38,582
- Run, run, run.
- I haven't got.

1489
01:18:38,589 --> 01:18:39,830
Never mind, come on.

1490
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:41,172
Rapist!

1491
01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:44,714
What's going on down there?

1492
01:18:55,147 --> 01:18:56,763
The keys.

1493
01:18:56,774 --> 01:18:57,890
I haven't got the keys.

1494
01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,436
Well haven't you got a
spare in the glove whatsit.

1495
01:18:59,443 --> 01:19:00,274
The door's locked.

1496
01:19:00,277 --> 01:19:01,813
Then smash the window.

1497
01:19:01,820 --> 01:19:04,858
Smash the, I've just done a
respray and four new wheels.

1498
01:19:13,791 --> 01:19:14,656
You know what they do around here

1499
01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:16,624
to trouser-less rapists, don't you.

1500
01:19:23,342 --> 01:19:25,049
Go on man, go on!

1501
01:19:29,556 --> 01:19:31,673
Oh, this one wasn't locked.

1502
01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:32,970
You wanna be more careful.

1503
01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:41,315
Well the bed's not been slept in,

1504
01:19:41,318 --> 01:19:42,434
I don't know where they are.

1505
01:19:42,444 --> 01:19:44,686
Oh perhaps they've gone away somewhere.

1506
01:19:44,697 --> 01:19:46,563
I know Bob wants to find himself.

1507
01:19:46,573 --> 01:19:47,404
Hmm.

1508
01:19:47,408 --> 01:19:48,239
Who with though?

1509
01:19:48,242 --> 01:19:51,110
Now I'm not jumping
to any more conclusions.

1510
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:53,487
If only I'd given Bob
the benefit of the doubt.

1511
01:19:56,625 --> 01:19:58,912
Why don't we have a nice cup of tea?

1512
01:19:58,919 --> 01:19:59,750
I'll put kettle on.

1513
01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:01,494
And I'll clear this place up a bit.

1514
01:20:25,988 --> 01:20:28,651
Oh, sorry Marcia.

1515
01:20:31,201 --> 01:20:32,408
Hey he didn't see you, did he.

1516
01:20:32,411 --> 01:20:34,528
He's not bothered, he hasn't got his on.

1517
01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,382
That's them.

1518
01:20:48,385 --> 01:20:49,385
We've made it.

1519
01:21:01,732 --> 01:21:03,849
Now Thelma, hold your horses.

1520
01:21:03,859 --> 01:21:05,100
Don't jump to conclusions.

1521
01:21:05,110 --> 01:21:07,102
Don't assume things on
the flimsiest of evidence.

1522
01:21:07,112 --> 01:21:08,728
We can explain.

1523
01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:10,071
Can't we.

1524
01:21:10,074 --> 01:21:11,074
Not really Bob.

1525
01:21:37,684 --> 01:21:38,515
You haven't.

1526
01:21:38,519 --> 01:21:39,555
I have.

1527
01:21:39,561 --> 01:21:40,392
You've signed on?

1528
01:21:40,396 --> 01:21:41,182
Aye.

1529
01:21:41,188 --> 01:21:42,395
She sails at the end of the week.

1530
01:21:42,398 --> 01:21:43,229
Where to?

1531
01:21:43,232 --> 01:21:44,814
It doesn't matter.

1532
01:21:44,817 --> 01:21:45,648
How do you mean it doesn't matter?

1533
01:21:45,651 --> 01:21:48,143
Well it's going somewhere isn't it.

1534
01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:50,110
I'm going nowhere here.

1535
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:52,322
My life adds up to nothing.

1536
01:21:52,324 --> 01:21:54,816
I've achieved nothing
and I've learned nothing.

1537
01:21:54,827 --> 01:21:56,659
If I die tomorrow do
you know what I'd have

1538
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:58,369
carved on my tombstone.

1539
01:21:58,372 --> 01:22:00,614
None the bloody wiser.

1540
01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:03,492
At least this'll give me a
chance to sort myself out.

1541
01:22:05,963 --> 01:22:07,704
See a bit of the world at the same time.

1542
01:22:11,176 --> 01:22:13,793
You know, I've always liked the docks.

1543
01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:17,715
My grandad used to bring
me here when I was a kid.

1544
01:22:17,724 --> 01:22:21,058
Everybody around here's
got the sea in his blood.

1545
01:22:21,061 --> 01:22:22,768
I know that mate.

1546
01:22:22,771 --> 01:22:24,558
You're such a rotten sailor.

1547
01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:25,396
Who is?

1548
01:22:25,399 --> 01:22:28,267
You, you get sick on the
Municipal boating lake.

1549
01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,564
I think it's a wonderful gesture.

1550
01:22:30,571 --> 01:22:32,528
Thelma, please, I'm
not making any gestures.

1551
01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:34,614
It just seemed like a good idea.

1552
01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:37,484
You'll be here, face another
terrible north east winter.

1553
01:22:37,494 --> 01:22:39,235
With rail strikes and power cuts.

1554
01:22:39,246 --> 01:22:42,455
And I'll be in exotic places
like Barbarisso and Bombay.

1555
01:22:43,417 --> 01:22:46,034
Well of course we've all
got a bit of wanderlust in us.

1556
01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:49,833
Not many people know this,
but I once very nearly

1557
01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:50,876
went to Morocco.

1558
01:22:52,259 --> 01:22:53,295
Really?

1559
01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:55,009
With UNICEF, yes.

1560
01:22:55,012 --> 01:22:56,469
It's a good job you didn't.

1561
01:22:58,056 --> 01:22:59,888
I mean for Bob's sake.

1562
01:22:59,892 --> 01:23:01,053
Oh.

1563
01:23:01,059 --> 01:23:02,059
Well.

1564
01:23:03,979 --> 01:23:05,265
Well good luck Terry.

1565
01:23:10,611 --> 01:23:11,647
Ready then?

1566
01:23:11,653 --> 01:23:13,690
Yes, yes, just saying
our fond farewells.

1567
01:23:13,697 --> 01:23:15,563
I'll wait then, I'll run you down there.

1568
01:23:18,869 --> 01:23:19,985
I won't wait up pet.

1569
01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:43,558
This time tomorrow, England
will be a blur on the horizon.

1570
01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:46,973
This time tomorrow
everything will be a blur.

1571
01:23:48,232 --> 01:23:51,145
I hope you find whatever
it is you're looking for Bob.

1572
01:23:52,402 --> 01:23:54,322
At the moment I'm looking
for the other bottle.

1573
01:23:55,656 --> 01:23:57,363
It's under there.

1574
01:23:57,366 --> 01:23:58,948
Behind you.

1575
01:23:58,951 --> 01:24:00,442
Oh yeah, lovely.

1576
01:24:01,453 --> 01:24:02,694
I meant in life.

1577
01:24:05,791 --> 01:24:07,748
I used to think I had forever Terry.

1578
01:24:08,835 --> 01:24:10,326
But now I'm not so sure.

1579
01:24:10,337 --> 01:24:11,498
I know what you mean.

1580
01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:14,380
Someone said that, not me.

1581
01:24:18,053 --> 01:24:20,045
I could've sworn you said it.

1582
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:21,136
When?

1583
01:24:21,139 --> 01:24:22,139
Just now.

1584
01:24:22,933 --> 01:24:24,094
I did.

1585
01:24:24,101 --> 01:24:26,093
No I mean, it's a quotation.

1586
01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:27,103
Oh.

1587
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:31,481
It's very apt though Bob.

1588
01:24:35,529 --> 01:24:38,988
Dirty British coaster with
a salt-caked smoke stalk.

1589
01:24:38,991 --> 01:24:40,152
Pardon?

1590
01:24:40,158 --> 01:24:41,069
It's a poem.

1591
01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,408
This ship reminded me of it.

1592
01:24:42,411 --> 01:24:44,698
She's not British, she's Liberian.

1593
01:24:44,705 --> 01:24:47,322
Oh, sailing under a flag of convenience.

1594
01:24:47,332 --> 01:24:48,448
It's appropriate.

1595
01:24:48,458 --> 01:24:50,290
She smells like a convenience.

1596
01:24:51,545 --> 01:24:54,208
Butting through the Channel
in the mad March days.

1597
01:24:54,214 --> 01:24:55,170
Another poem?

1598
01:24:55,173 --> 01:24:56,173
Same one.

1599
01:24:56,925 --> 01:24:59,087
Don't you remember recitation
at school with Miss Hindmarsh?

1600
01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:01,006
I can't stand poetry.

1601
01:25:01,013 --> 01:25:02,925
I was put off it at an early age.

1602
01:25:03,890 --> 01:25:06,928
Only poem I ever wrote, I
was given a good hiding for.

1603
01:25:06,935 --> 01:25:09,018
Shouldn't have written
it on the lavatory wall.

1604
01:25:09,021 --> 01:25:10,387
It was all it was fit for.

1605
01:25:12,190 --> 01:25:15,228
God, we go all the way
back to Miss Hindmarsh.

1606
01:25:16,194 --> 01:25:17,194
And beyond.

1607
01:25:18,864 --> 01:25:20,196
Do you remember our gang?

1608
01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:23,528
Building a bonfire on
your dad's allotment.

1609
01:25:24,494 --> 01:25:26,281
We were all lads.

1610
01:25:26,288 --> 01:25:28,496
Except for little Deirdre Birchwood

1611
01:25:28,498 --> 01:25:30,285
who so wanted to play with us.

1612
01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:35,253
And you said all right,
you can be Joan of Arc.

1613
01:25:35,255 --> 01:25:36,837
Aye.

1614
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:38,251
Happy days.

1615
01:25:38,258 --> 01:25:40,875
Then when we were Robin
Hood and his Merry Men

1616
01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:41,922
she was Maid Marian.

1617
01:25:44,348 --> 01:25:45,805
Who was Robin?

1618
01:25:45,807 --> 01:25:47,139
We all took turns.

1619
01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:48,474
Except you.

1620
01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:50,560
You were always the Sheriff of Nottingham.

1621
01:25:51,396 --> 01:25:52,512
Was I?

1622
01:25:52,522 --> 01:25:53,433
Why?

1623
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,181
So you could torture Maid Marian.

1624
01:25:56,526 --> 01:25:58,984
Aye, she was always a
glutton for punishment,

1625
01:25:58,987 --> 01:25:59,987
that Deirdre.

1626
01:26:01,406 --> 01:26:02,897
I envy you.

1627
01:26:02,908 --> 01:26:05,150
I should've done this years ago.

1628
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:06,651
Made the move.

1629
01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:08,278
Seen something of the world.

1630
01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:10,905
Now I never will.

1631
01:26:10,916 --> 01:26:13,249
Oh you might, you never can tell.

1632
01:26:13,251 --> 01:26:14,787
It can happen any time.

1633
01:26:14,795 --> 01:26:17,833
Like you said about Gaugain and Van thing.

1634
01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,125
And the Reverend Jeffcock.

1635
01:26:21,134 --> 01:26:24,218
I'll keep my eye out for
him on his catamaran.

1636
01:26:24,221 --> 01:26:26,008
I'll miss you kid.

1637
01:26:26,014 --> 01:26:27,550
What?

1638
01:26:27,557 --> 01:26:29,173
I said I'll miss you.

1639
01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:31,346
Well I'll miss you an' all.

1640
01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:33,094
Without you my life
will probably slip into

1641
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:37,520
a steady routine of
contentment and happiness.

1642
01:26:37,526 --> 01:26:41,110
Don't worry kidder, I'll be
back to cock it up for you.

1643
01:26:41,988 --> 01:26:43,604
Good lad.

1644
01:26:56,586 --> 01:26:57,417
Can you see him?

1645
01:26:57,421 --> 01:26:59,083
Can you see your Uncle Terry?

1646
01:26:59,089 --> 01:27:00,125
I can.

1647
01:27:00,132 --> 01:27:01,088
Where?

1648
01:27:01,091 --> 01:27:02,923
He's over there Mam.

1649
01:27:04,177 --> 01:27:06,760
What are you doing?

1650
01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:08,550
Isn't that your boat.

1651
01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:09,798
It was.

1652
01:27:09,808 --> 01:27:11,845
I couldn't go through with it.

1653
01:27:11,852 --> 01:27:14,310
Felt homesick, even before I left home.

1654
01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:16,429
And sea-sick even before I left the quay.

1655
01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:17,601
Well you might have told me

1656
01:27:17,607 --> 01:27:19,599
I've been up since the crack of dawn.

1657
01:27:19,609 --> 01:27:22,443
And the kids are so looking
forward to seeing you off.

1658
01:27:22,446 --> 01:27:24,187
Oh I'm sorry I disappointed them.

1659
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:34,034
Oh.

1660
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:34,871
What?

1661
01:27:34,875 --> 01:27:35,911
Back from the sea.

1662
01:27:35,917 --> 01:27:38,159
Two hours before the mast.

1663
01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:39,661
But where's Bob?

1664
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:41,378
He hasn't been home all night.

1665
01:27:59,441 --> 01:28:00,441
Thelma!

1666
01:28:03,612 --> 01:28:04,819
Bob!

1667
01:28:04,821 --> 01:28:06,562
Bob come back!

1668
01:28:06,573 --> 01:28:08,314
I don't believe it.

1669
01:28:12,537 --> 01:28:13,537
Thelma!

1670
01:28:22,339 --> 01:28:23,339
Thelma!

1671
01:28:25,300 --> 01:28:26,586
Well Terry, do something.

1672
01:28:26,593 --> 01:28:28,425
Stop that ship.

1673
01:28:28,428 --> 01:28:29,589
Don't panic Thelma.

1674
01:28:29,596 --> 01:28:31,758
They'll realise he's on board by mistake

1675
01:28:31,765 --> 01:28:34,348
and drop him off at
the first port of call.

1676
01:28:34,351 --> 01:28:37,139
Well where's the first port of call?

1677
01:28:37,145 --> 01:28:38,226
Bahrain.

1678
01:28:42,359 --> 01:28:43,359
Thelma!

1679
01:28:45,070 --> 01:28:48,154
♪ Oh remember when we
thought we had forever ♪

1680
01:28:48,156 --> 01:28:51,820
♪ Didn't it make you feel secure ♪

1681
01:28:51,827 --> 01:28:55,662
♪ We used to think that we had forever ♪

1682
01:28:55,664 --> 01:28:58,828
♪ Now I'm not so sure ♪

1683
01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:02,498
♪ Daylight dreamers, midnight stealers ♪

1684
01:29:02,504 --> 01:29:05,918
♪ Minstrels on the run ♪

1685
01:29:05,924 --> 01:29:09,338
♪ City cowboys, live for now boys ♪

1686
01:29:09,344 --> 01:29:14,339
♪ Tomorrow's never gonna come ♪

1687
01:29:19,020 --> 01:29:22,058
♪ Last bus home, Saturday night ♪

1688
01:29:22,065 --> 01:29:25,809
♪ I'll walk you to your door ♪

1689
01:29:25,819 --> 01:29:28,903
♪ Tell me your name, I'll
never see you again ♪

1690
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:32,819
♪ But I love you forever more ♪

1691
01:29:32,826 --> 01:29:37,821
♪ Charabanc, penny arcades,
it's sad to be alone ♪

1692
01:29:39,791 --> 01:29:43,080
♪ Isn't it grand, holding hands ♪

1693
01:29:43,086 --> 01:29:47,171
♪ In the backseat driving home ♪

1694
01:29:47,173 --> 01:29:50,462
♪ Oh remember when we
thought we had forever ♪

1695
01:29:50,468 --> 01:29:53,927
♪ Didn't it make you feel secure ♪

1696
01:29:53,930 --> 01:29:57,970
♪ We used to think that we had forever ♪

1697
01:29:57,976 --> 01:30:00,935
♪ Now we're not so sure ♪

1698
01:30:00,937 --> 01:30:04,556
♪ The daylight dreamers,
midnight stealers ♪

1699
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:07,934
♪ Minstrels on the run ♪

1700
01:30:07,944 --> 01:30:11,608
♪ City cowboys, live for now boys ♪

1701
01:30:11,615 --> 01:30:15,450
♪ Tomorrow's never gonna come ♪