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Sync by: aHruaia
Corrections by: Flame_Fingers
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Ever had one of those nights
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that starts out like any other, but ends
up being the best night of your life?
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It was June the 22nd,
1990, our final day of school.
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There was Oliver Chamberlain, Peter Page,
Steven Prince, Andy Knightley and me.
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They called me The King.
Because my name's Gary King.
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Ollie was funny, he fancied himself as a bit
of a player, but really, he was all mouth.
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We called him O-Man
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because he had a birthmark on his
forehead that looked like a six.
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He loved it.
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Pete was the baby of the group.
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He wasn't the kind of kid we'd usually hang
out with, but he was good for a laugh.
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And he was absolutely minted.
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Steve was a pretty cool guy. We
jammed together, chased the girls.
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I think he saw us as rivals.
Sweet, really.
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And Andy.
Andy was my wingman.
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The one guy I could rely
on to back me up.
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He loved me, and I'm not being
funny, but I loved him, too.
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There was nothing we were
gonna miss about school.
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Maybe Mr. Shepherd.
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He was definitely
one of the good guys.
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He used to ask me what I
wanted to do with my life,
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I told him I just wanted
to have a good time.
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He thought that was funny.
It wasn't meant to be.
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Not that night.
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Newton Haven was our hometown.
Our playground, our universe.
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And that night it was the
site of a heroic quest.
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The aim? To conquer
The Golden Mile.
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Twelve pubs along a legendary
path of alcoholic Indulgence.
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There was The First Post,
The Old Familiar,
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The Famous Cock, The Cross
Hands, The Good Companions,
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The Trusty Servant, The Two Headed
Dog, The Mermaid, The Beehive,
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The King's Head,
The Hole in the Wall...
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All before reaching our
destiny, The World's End.
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We took my car into town.
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I called it The Beast
because she was pretty hairy.
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And so, our journey into manhood began.
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We were off.
We didn't waste any time.
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We hit pub one
and we hit it hard.
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There was drinking, there was
fun, there was controversy,
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there were ladies, there
were shots, there was drama,
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and of course,
there was drinking.
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By pub five,
we were feeling invincible
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and decided to purchase
some herbal refreshment
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from a man we called
The Reverend Green.
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Pint six put O-Man out of commission,
so we carried on without him.
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Good thing, I bumped into
his sister in the next pub,
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we went into the disabled's
and I bumped into her again.
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Sam tagged along for a while,
but then I had to let her go.
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I had another date that night
and her name was Amber.
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Nine pints in and it was us
against the world.
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Things got mental
in The Beehive,
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so we repaired to
the bowls club
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or as we liked to call it, The Smokehouse,
which is when it all went fuck up.
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Everyone got para and Pete chucked
a whitey, so we had to bench him.
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In the end, we blew off the last
three pubs and headed for the hills.
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I remember sitting up there,
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blood on my knuckles, beer down
my shirt, sick on my shoes,
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seeing the orange glow
of a new dawn break
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and knowing in my heart, life
would never feel this good again.
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And you know what?
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It never did.
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Thank you, Gary.
That was very enlightening.
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Would anyone like to add anything
or maybe challenge Gary?
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Are you disappointed?
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About what? That you didn't
make it to The World's End?
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No.
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Just what is it
that you want to do?
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We want to be free!
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We want to be free to do
what we want to do!
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And we want to get loaded. And
we want to have a good time,
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And that's what
we're going to do.
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We're going to have
a good time.
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We're going to have a party.
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Just what is it
that you want to do?
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And we want to get loaded.
And we want to have a good time,
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She's a beauty.
Yeah, but she's no Beast.
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Hello, Peter.
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Jesus! Gary?
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The once and future King.
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Were you outside my
house this morning?
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No.
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I could have sworn
I saw you on my street.
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00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,423
I've never been
to Bishop's Gardens.
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How you doing, man?
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00:06:06,725 --> 00:06:09,160
I'm well. You?
Yeah, never better.
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How is, uh...
Vanessa?
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00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,263
No. Your wife?
Vanessa.
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00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,465
Yeah. How's she?
She's good.
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00:06:14,466 --> 00:06:16,834
Have you had sex yet?
We have two children.
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Ooh, twice. Get you, fuck machine.
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We haven't changed, have we?
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What is he doing here?
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It's all right, Dad.
We're fine.
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Hi, Mr. P.
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So, Gary, how can I help you?
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He looks well. Are you
looking to buy a car?
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Uh... No.
I'm afraid the end is nigh.
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What?
The World's End.
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What do you mean?
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You know what I mean. One night.
Five guys. Twelve pubs.
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Let battle commence.
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You want to try that again?
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Yeah, isn't that something
you've always wanted?
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Not particularly. No.
Look. Peter.
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We didn't make it before, but this time, we're
gonna see it through to the bitter end.
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Or lager end.
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We?
Yeah, the whole gang.
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Even Andy? Why wouldn't
Andy be coming?
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Well, I thought that after the accident...
Not an issue. He's in.
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What we wanna know is are you?
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I'd have to check with Vanessa.
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Who's Vanessa?
My wife.
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Since when have you had to
check with your wife?
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Since we got married.
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Oh, come on, man,
don't you miss it?
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The laughs, the
camaraderie, the fights,
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the hangovers so fierce it feels
like your head is full of ants.
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Maybe the first two.
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It begins.
What's your new number?
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Same one I've had for 10 years.
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Yeah. What's that one?
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This entire row here, they'll all have
dormer windows above the front elevation.
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Who's the helmet
without an helmet?
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That's Gary King.
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Knock, knock.
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What are you doing here, Gary?
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You're supposed to say,
"Who's there?"
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I can see who's there.
It's you.
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I like what you've done
with the place. Bit draughty.
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How's Selina?
We divorced 10 years ago.
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Yeah, I know, just
wondered how she was.
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00:08:00,101 --> 00:08:02,636
She's doing very well,
apparently.
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Have you got anyone
else on the go?
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Yeah, I do, as it happens. She's a
fitness instructor. Twenty-six.
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Pedophile. I'm kidding.
I'd love to meet her sometime.
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No. Why are you here?
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Haven't you heard? We're getting
the band back together.
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00:08:16,317 --> 00:08:17,951
I'm not your
bass player anymore.
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00:08:17,952 --> 00:08:20,020
No, I mean we're getting
the boys back together.
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We can get the band back
together as well if you want.
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No, we can't. You sold
my guitar to buy drugs.
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I've always wondered, what's
that thing over the door called?
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That's a lintel.
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So, the plan is, we're going
to go back to Newton Haven,
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we are gonna do The Golden Mile
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and this time, we are gonna
make it to The World's End.
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Everybody's in.
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What, even Andy?
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00:08:39,339 --> 00:08:40,940
Oh, you better
believe it, big balls.
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Andy is going drinking with you?
With us.
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Think about it, go back to the
old town, sink a few pints...
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Twelve pints.
Yeah.
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Twelve pints is insane.
I know!
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What is this all about, Gary?
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It's about closure, you know.
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Why should getting older affect
something as important as friendship?
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A let's changed since then, Oliver.
Right.
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This is our chance
to take stock.
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A stock take?
You make it sound so much fun.
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Come on, O-Man. Isn't that
something you'd like?
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What I'd really like is for you
to take your DMs off the sofa.
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Look. If you're worried about
me, don't be. All right?
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I'm here to tell you that Gary
King is back on the horse.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're back on the horse?
167
00:09:21,914 --> 00:09:22,949
No, I mean
I'm back on the bike.
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00:09:23,082 --> 00:09:24,248
What is bike?
What do you mean?
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What is bike slang for?
Bicycle.
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I'm lost.
Don't be.
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Okay.
Listen.
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This is our chance to finally
finish what we started.
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Come on, man,
it'll be fucking mental!
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I think we're all done.
So...
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How do you like the property?
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Yeah. It's amazing.
Amazing location.
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Fantastic.
Fantastic aspects.
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00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:44,768
It's just... It's just a little
bit out of our price range.
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He'll knock some off for you.
What's it down for?
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1.2 million.
Fuck off!
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You have my card.
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Gary, WTF?
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00:09:55,545 --> 00:09:57,113
It's good to see you,
too, O-Man.
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00:09:57,114 --> 00:09:58,748
Please don't call me O-Man.
Sure.
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00:09:58,749 --> 00:10:00,650
Hey, how's your sister?
She's fine.
186
00:10:00,651 --> 00:10:01,851
She talk about me?
No.
187
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,719
So, Friday, we'll all
go down together.
188
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,097
Make a road trip of it,
I'll drive.
189
00:10:05,222 --> 00:10:07,702
Don't think I can. I think I've
got a doctor's appointment.
190
00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:09,403
Yeah, you do.
With Dr. Ink!
191
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:13,534
You know, Dr. Ink?
Yeah. "Drink." I get it.
192
00:10:13,664 --> 00:10:16,499
Come on. It wouldn't be the
same without the O-Man.
193
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:17,533
Jesus.
194
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:21,504
You can see the guys, see how they're doing.
Tell them how you're doing.
195
00:10:21,505 --> 00:10:23,985
You never know, you might
make it to the end this time.
196
00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:27,250
And Andy's definitely coming?
Yeah.
197
00:10:28,311 --> 00:10:30,912
Andy Knightley?
Totes.
198
00:10:30,913 --> 00:10:33,052
And you convinced him how?
199
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,256
Mr. Knightley.
Felicity.
200
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,095
You have a friend
here to see you.
201
00:10:43,859 --> 00:10:45,270
No, I don't.
202
00:10:47,196 --> 00:10:49,836
This is a bit grown up, isn't it?
Yup.
203
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,269
Saw the boys the other day.
Mmm-hmm.
204
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,409
O-Man, Stevie-Baby,
the Petertron.
205
00:10:58,306 --> 00:11:01,775
Yeah, I remember the names of
our childhood friends, Gary.
206
00:11:01,776 --> 00:11:04,945
We had ourselves a little idea.
207
00:11:04,946 --> 00:11:06,046
Did you now?
208
00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:07,617
Yeah. We're going to go
back to Newton Haven.
209
00:11:07,782 --> 00:11:11,924
Why? For some
unfinished business.
210
00:11:13,888 --> 00:11:15,299
That's a joke, right?
211
00:11:15,423 --> 00:11:19,259
Five guys. Twelve pubs. Fifty pints.
Sixty pints.
212
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,137
Steady on, you fucking alky.
213
00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:23,497
I haven't had a drink
for 16 years, Gary.
214
00:11:23,498 --> 00:11:25,465
You must be thirsty then.
215
00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:28,768
We can go back, see the guys, chew the
fat, it'll be just like it always was,
216
00:11:28,769 --> 00:11:31,704
except this time we're going to
finish this thing once and for all.
217
00:11:31,705 --> 00:11:34,407
You have a very selective
memory, Gary. Thanks.
218
00:11:34,408 --> 00:11:36,142
You remember the Friday nights.
219
00:11:36,143 --> 00:11:37,343
I remember the Monday mornings.
220
00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,415
Yeah, that's why we're
going back on a Friday.
221
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:42,386
Why do you think none of
us live in Newton Haven anymore?
222
00:11:42,516 --> 00:11:46,085
I don't know. Because it's a black hole.
It's boring.
223
00:11:46,086 --> 00:11:47,954
It always was
and it always will be.
224
00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:50,299
It's only boring
because we're not there.
225
00:11:50,457 --> 00:11:53,459
It's pointless arguing with you.
Exactly. So come.
226
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:57,195
I'm picking everybody up from High
Wycombe station, Friday, 3:00 sharp.
227
00:11:57,196 --> 00:11:58,263
No, Gary.
228
00:11:58,264 --> 00:12:00,665
Oh, God, why? Have you got
to check with your missus?
229
00:12:00,666 --> 00:12:03,977
No, actually, I don't have
to check with my missus.
230
00:12:04,537 --> 00:12:07,450
What are you doing?
I'm showing you the door.
231
00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:10,742
Is it a door?
It doesn't have a lintel.
232
00:12:10,743 --> 00:12:13,945
And it's glass. So is it a
window or is it a door?
233
00:12:13,946 --> 00:12:18,150
Maybe it's a windoor.
You can have that.
234
00:12:18,151 --> 00:12:19,459
Please leave, Gary.
235
00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:25,599
All right. All right.
236
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:30,037
£600, wasn't it?
237
00:12:33,331 --> 00:12:36,972
Oh, uh, I thought you should know.
What?
238
00:12:37,869 --> 00:12:39,336
Mum died.
239
00:12:39,337 --> 00:12:41,374
When?
Couple of weeks ago.
240
00:12:42,574 --> 00:12:44,485
The big cancer.
241
00:12:46,445 --> 00:12:47,515
I'm sorry.
242
00:12:47,746 --> 00:12:50,192
She just always really
liked you, you know.
243
00:12:50,315 --> 00:12:52,683
Got me thinking
about the old days.
244
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:55,062
Particularly that night, you
know, because we were so happy.
245
00:12:55,887 --> 00:12:59,856
And, you know, I love
the boys like brothers,
246
00:12:59,857 --> 00:13:03,896
but when all's said and done,
you're the best friend I ever had.
247
00:13:05,663 --> 00:13:07,870
It was good to see you, mate.
248
00:13:19,944 --> 00:13:21,211
Pete?
249
00:13:21,212 --> 00:13:23,046
Steven. Thank God.
250
00:13:23,047 --> 00:13:24,981
I had a horrible feeling I was
going to be the only one here.
251
00:13:24,982 --> 00:13:27,683
I reckon that's not the last horrible
feeling you're gonna have today, mate.
252
00:13:27,684 --> 00:13:28,884
This can't be happening.
Can it?
253
00:13:28,885 --> 00:13:30,819
You said it. What the
hell are we doing here?
254
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,321
What we always did.
255
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:35,057
Follow Gary King into
almost certain oblivion.
256
00:13:35,058 --> 00:13:36,325
Hello, Steven.
257
00:13:36,326 --> 00:13:37,526
You all right, mate?
258
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:38,972
Pete. Hi, mate.
259
00:13:39,095 --> 00:13:42,431
Didn't we decide to stop calling him
Fearless Leader somewhere around 1992?
260
00:13:42,432 --> 00:13:43,699
Old habits die hard.
261
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:45,267
They'll be putting that
on Gary's tombstone.
262
00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:47,002
No, they won't.
You know he'll outlive us all.
263
00:13:47,003 --> 00:13:48,737
That'd be funny
if it wasn't true.
264
00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,706
Hang on a sec.
What?
265
00:13:50,707 --> 00:13:53,909
I'm just trying to decide which of
us is the biggest idiot for coming.
266
00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:03,618
Maybe he had an accident.
Oh, sorry, Andy.
267
00:14:03,619 --> 00:14:06,020
Sorry. No, no, no. It's fine.
268
00:14:06,021 --> 00:14:07,288
I think Gary having an accident
269
00:14:07,289 --> 00:14:09,963
would actually be the best outcome
for all of us, including Gary.
270
00:14:13,328 --> 00:14:14,773
Unbelievable.
271
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:20,671
Oh, yes.
272
00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:22,770
Look at these cunts.
273
00:14:22,771 --> 00:14:24,305
You're late.
No, I'm not.
274
00:14:24,306 --> 00:14:26,809
Yeah, you are. You said 3:00.
It's almost 4:00.
275
00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:28,375
Yeah, 3 for 4.
276
00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:30,310
You know your problem, Gary?
You're never wrong.
277
00:14:30,311 --> 00:14:31,411
How is that a problem?
278
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,346
I can't believe you bought
another Granada Mark II.
279
00:14:33,347 --> 00:14:34,414
What do you mean?
280
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,050
This looks exactly like
the car I sold you in 1989.
281
00:14:37,051 --> 00:14:40,053
This is the car you sold me in 1989.
Best 300 quid I ever spent.
282
00:14:40,054 --> 00:14:41,465
This is The Beast?
Yeah.
283
00:14:41,989 --> 00:14:44,024
Pretty much. I mean, she's
had a bit of work done.
284
00:14:44,025 --> 00:14:47,227
I had to replace the brakes,
suspension, exhaust, seats, wheels,
285
00:14:47,228 --> 00:14:50,630
paneling, carburator, manifold, the whole
engine, really, mirrors, headlamps.
286
00:14:50,631 --> 00:14:53,166
Other than that,
she's the same old motor.
287
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:54,510
You could almost
say an antique.
288
00:14:54,669 --> 00:14:58,810
Well, then let's get this
antique on the roadshow.
289
00:15:04,411 --> 00:15:06,391
Come on, you bellends.
We're going to be late.
290
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,793
And we're back.
Just like the Five Musketeers.
291
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:11,485
Three Musketeers, isn't it?
292
00:15:11,585 --> 00:15:13,052
Four if you count D'Artagnan,
293
00:15:13,053 --> 00:15:15,054
Well, nobody knows how many there
were, really, do they, Pete?
294
00:15:15,055 --> 00:15:16,388
I mean, history's a sketchbook.
295
00:15:16,389 --> 00:15:19,425
You do know that The Three
Musketeers is a fiction, right?
296
00:15:19,426 --> 00:15:20,526
Written by Alexandre Dumas?
297
00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:22,336
A lot of people are saying that
about the Bible these days.
298
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:24,463
What, that it was written by
Alexandre Dumas?
299
00:15:24,464 --> 00:15:26,671
Don't be daft, Steve,
it was written by Jesus.
300
00:15:26,866 --> 00:15:28,766
Oh. Anyway, five
sounds much better.
301
00:15:28,767 --> 00:15:30,201
I think they missed a trick
only having three.
302
00:15:30,202 --> 00:15:33,171
'Cause you'd have five, then two could've
died and they'd still have three left.
303
00:15:33,172 --> 00:15:35,083
Are we there yet?
Let's do this!
304
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:53,135
Soup Dragons!
I remember this one.
305
00:15:54,293 --> 00:15:55,893
I put this on a tape
for you, didn't I?
306
00:15:55,894 --> 00:15:57,061
Yeah, this is it.
307
00:15:57,062 --> 00:16:00,133
This is the tape?
Yeah, yeah! Look, look.
308
00:16:00,365 --> 00:16:03,835
Where did you find it?
It was in the tape player.
309
00:16:07,038 --> 00:16:09,573
Oh, look. Is anyone hungry?
310
00:16:10,842 --> 00:16:12,879
I need a piss actually.
311
00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:21,091
This is a long piss.
312
00:16:21,786 --> 00:16:23,887
If it is a piss.
313
00:16:23,888 --> 00:16:26,456
Might be a little...
Poo.
314
00:16:26,457 --> 00:16:27,902
How is that a poo?
315
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:31,727
Still work for your old man, Pete?
Yeah. I'm a partner now.
316
00:16:31,728 --> 00:16:32,795
You?
317
00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:36,899
Yeah, started my own firm in '98.
Got bought out in '05.
318
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,641
I'm happier, though.
It's less stress.
319
00:16:38,769 --> 00:16:40,302
Ollie?
Property.
320
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,839
I co-manage a boutique estate
agency in North London.
321
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,074
Very competitive.
322
00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:48,010
Is it family law you're in, Andy?
Corporate.
323
00:16:48,011 --> 00:16:49,278
Does anyone know
what Gary's doing?
324
00:16:49,279 --> 00:16:51,180
He's playing Need For Speed.
Over there.
325
00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:53,516
Come on, come on, come on!
326
00:16:53,517 --> 00:16:54,557
He hasn't changed, has he?
327
00:16:55,452 --> 00:16:59,491
I don't know. He did finally
pay me back that £600.
328
00:16:59,755 --> 00:17:02,759
Really? He borrowed £200 off me.
And me.
329
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:07,534
I can't believe it.
I can't believe you'd do that!
330
00:17:08,864 --> 00:17:10,002
Oh! Of course I can.
331
00:17:10,132 --> 00:17:12,009
It's just robbing
Peter to pay Paul.
332
00:17:12,301 --> 00:17:15,771
No, I borrowed it from Peter to pay you.
I still owe Paul.
333
00:17:21,277 --> 00:17:24,145
Oh, shit.
334
00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:25,853
Newton Haven.
335
00:17:26,615 --> 00:17:31,919
Take a moment to look upon it in its original
colors, boys, for tonight we paint it red.
336
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:40,504
Oh, no, no, no. Shit.
337
00:17:42,997 --> 00:17:45,532
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
338
00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:46,834
Fuck, fuck.
339
00:17:46,835 --> 00:17:48,969
Oh, no, it's okay,
I did it all in the services.
340
00:17:53,007 --> 00:17:54,645
Know why I pulled
you over, sir?
341
00:17:55,810 --> 00:17:57,312
Was the music too loud?
342
00:17:57,445 --> 00:18:00,891
Your left brake light is faulty.
Oh!
343
00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:04,817
The old brake lights! So called
because they're always breaking.
344
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,161
I'll get that sorted out,
Officer.
345
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:09,460
Can I see your license, sir?
Yup.
346
00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:11,858
Ah!
347
00:18:11,859 --> 00:18:13,326
You know what?
It's in my wallet.
348
00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:16,162
And I left that
at the bloody gym!
349
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:20,800
Any other form of identification?
No, it's all in my sports bag.
350
00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:23,369
That's bloody typical,
isn't it? Um...
351
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:26,472
I'll give you my name and address, you
can run me through the old system.
352
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,508
Go on then.
353
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:29,642
It's Peter Page.
354
00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:34,523
48 Bishop's Gardens,
London, N2 T12.
355
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:40,285
Jesus, Gary! WTF? Why did
you give him my name?
356
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,788
I'm not gonna give
him my name, am I?
357
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,255
Suppose I get done
by the police?
358
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,599
You won't get done
by the police.
359
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,601
Gary, he will check the number
plate against his name!
360
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,360
I know. Why do you think
I gave him Pete's name?
361
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,263
Jesus Christ, Gary, I own a car showroom.
I am a junior partner.
362
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,764
This is...
363
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:53,869
Just trust me.
364
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,203
So, Mr. Page, what brings
you to Newton Haven?
365
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:01,173
Well, we're all from here. We're
just back to see the sights.
366
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,174
Have a crack at
the old Golden Mile.
367
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:04,542
Might get a bit messy.
368
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,710
Well, you make sure you get
that brake light fixed
369
00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:09,317
and you might want to do
an emissions test, too.
370
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,315
Oh, and, Peter.
371
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,556
Don't make too much mess.
372
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:15,891
We won't!
373
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:17,189
Hmm.
374
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:18,455
I don't understand.
375
00:19:18,456 --> 00:19:20,391
It's simple, Pete.
376
00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:23,394
The car's still registered to
you, it has been since 1989.
377
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:24,829
But I've moved
three times since then.
378
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,397
I know, I changed the log book.
379
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:28,199
Where do you think
all those points came from?
380
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,406
Jesus. You guys need to relax.
381
00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:47,951
Do you know how much
trouble you could get into?
382
00:19:47,952 --> 00:19:49,619
Do you know how much
trouble I'm already in?
383
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:50,854
What's that supposed to mean?
384
00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:54,190
Hey. What the hell is this?
Why are we even here?
385
00:19:54,191 --> 00:19:56,793
We are here to get annihilated.
386
00:19:58,095 --> 00:20:00,096
Have you got any plans
for dinner at all?
387
00:20:00,097 --> 00:20:03,031
Tonight, we will be partaking
of a liquid repast
388
00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:05,400
as we wend our way
up The Golden Mile.
389
00:20:05,401 --> 00:20:08,170
Commencing with an inaugural
tankard at The First Post,
390
00:20:08,171 --> 00:20:11,340
then onto The Old Familiar, The
Famous Cock, The Cross Hands,
391
00:20:11,341 --> 00:20:12,808
The Good Companions,
The Trusty Servant,
392
00:20:12,809 --> 00:20:15,043
The Two Headed Dog, The Mermaid,
The Beehive, The King's Head
393
00:20:15,044 --> 00:20:17,079
and The Hole in the Wall
for a measure of the same.
394
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,949
All before the last bittersweet
pint in that most fateful terminus,
395
00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:22,217
The World's End.
396
00:20:22,218 --> 00:20:23,285
Leave a light on, good lady,
397
00:20:23,286 --> 00:20:25,687
for though we may return
with a twinkle in our eyes,
398
00:20:25,688 --> 00:20:27,895
we will, in truth,
be blind drunk.
399
00:21:50,036 --> 00:21:51,037
Come on!
400
00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:59,011
Until 1840...
Fucking hell.
401
00:21:59,012 --> 00:22:02,114
...this building was the site of
Newton Haven's first post office.
402
00:22:02,115 --> 00:22:04,148
Until an enterprising
business fellow decided that
403
00:22:04,149 --> 00:22:07,185
far from befitting the sending
and receiving of mail
404
00:22:07,186 --> 00:22:09,387
it was perhaps better
suited as a humble taproom
405
00:22:09,388 --> 00:22:13,165
where a weary traveler might get swatted.
Come on.
406
00:22:14,994 --> 00:22:17,295
Ah!
407
00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:18,934
It's like deja vu.
408
00:22:25,070 --> 00:22:27,238
I don't remember this at all.
Has it been refurbished?
409
00:22:27,239 --> 00:22:29,207
Been bought by a chain,
hasn't it?
410
00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:30,875
Part of that nationwide
initiative to rob
411
00:22:30,876 --> 00:22:33,789
small, charming pubs
of any discernible character.
412
00:22:33,912 --> 00:22:36,357
Starbucking, man.
It's happening everywhere.
413
00:22:37,849 --> 00:22:39,449
Can't take away
that smell, though.
414
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:41,118
I'm sure they tried.
415
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:45,022
Good evening, Raymondo. The
prodigal sons return. Eh?
416
00:22:45,023 --> 00:22:46,623
Who's on the
guest list tonight?
417
00:22:46,624 --> 00:22:48,592
Come again?
The guest ales.
418
00:22:48,593 --> 00:22:51,428
We, sir, are doing The
Golden Mile and you have
419
00:22:51,429 --> 00:22:53,602
the honor of drawing
first blood.
420
00:22:53,765 --> 00:22:56,336
What do you recommend? There's one.
Crowning Glory.
421
00:22:57,368 --> 00:22:58,870
Rather fitting.
How's that?
422
00:22:58,970 --> 00:23:00,771
I'm Gary King.
What?
423
00:23:00,772 --> 00:23:03,073
So tell me more.
About what?
424
00:23:03,074 --> 00:23:05,408
Crowning Glory. Is it nutty?
Is it foamy? Is it hoppy?
425
00:23:05,409 --> 00:23:08,144
Does it have a surprisingly fruity
note which lingers on the tongue?
426
00:23:08,145 --> 00:23:10,479
Hmm. It's beer.
Hmm.
427
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,881
We'll have five
of those, please.
428
00:23:11,882 --> 00:23:14,886
No. Sorry. Can we have four of
those and a tap water, please?
429
00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,558
What?
430
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,563
I don't believe this,
431
00:23:27,564 --> 00:23:32,240
a man of your legendary prowess
drinking fucking rain.
432
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,037
It's like seeing a lion
eating some hummus.
433
00:23:35,038 --> 00:23:37,205
That doesn't make any sense.
I know it doesn't make any sense.
434
00:23:37,206 --> 00:23:39,841
You seriously have a problem with me
not drinking, after what happened?
435
00:23:39,842 --> 00:23:42,477
I don't, but King Arthur does!
Oh, this'll be good.
436
00:23:42,478 --> 00:23:43,980
What's King Arthur
got to do with it?
437
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,391
Do you honestly think that King Arthur
came back from the Battle of Hastings,
438
00:23:47,550 --> 00:23:50,952
fucking rocked up at Arthur's Castle...
Camelot.
439
00:23:50,953 --> 00:23:52,220
...walked up to the bar
and went,
440
00:23:52,221 --> 00:23:54,155
"Hello.
Could I have a tap water?"
441
00:23:54,156 --> 00:23:56,659
No, because they didn't have
running water in Arthurian times.
442
00:23:56,992 --> 00:24:00,662
Exactly. He would have had a mead.
The King Arthur of beers.
443
00:24:00,663 --> 00:24:02,836
And I'm less of a man because
I choose to drink water?
444
00:24:03,065 --> 00:24:04,532
Well, it's a bit
"ooh ducky", innit?
445
00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:05,899
That's not very PC, Gary.
446
00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:07,801
Get out of the '90s, Pete.
447
00:24:07,802 --> 00:24:10,804
There's nothing "ooh ducky"
about being teetotal,
448
00:24:10,805 --> 00:24:13,340
about walking into a pub
after a rugby match
449
00:24:13,341 --> 00:24:17,811
and ordering a tap water at a bar packed
full of big ugly bastards wearing warpaint.
450
00:24:17,812 --> 00:24:21,048
That, my friend, takes confidence, yeah?
I'm talking balls.
451
00:24:21,049 --> 00:24:22,722
You said it, poof.
452
00:24:23,351 --> 00:24:27,390
I don't know if you're aware of this,
Gary, but we are not teenagers anymore.
453
00:24:27,522 --> 00:24:30,023
And God forbid you ever have
children, because if...
454
00:24:30,024 --> 00:24:31,191
I might have kids.
455
00:24:31,192 --> 00:24:32,694
Then you had better be ready
to take responsibility...
456
00:24:32,794 --> 00:24:34,398
No. I mean I might have kids.
457
00:24:35,029 --> 00:24:37,941
You remember Karen
Eggerton, who I fucked?
458
00:24:38,365 --> 00:24:40,868
She was two weeks late when her
parents emigrated to Normandy.
459
00:24:41,034 --> 00:24:44,709
I never heard from her again.
She might have had a baby.
460
00:24:44,905 --> 00:24:47,385
Imagine that? A French kid.
461
00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,145
It's pointless arguing
with you.
462
00:24:49,409 --> 00:24:51,616
To kids.
Wherever they may be.
463
00:24:52,546 --> 00:24:53,547
Kids.
Kids.
464
00:24:56,517 --> 00:24:58,121
Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo.
465
00:24:58,552 --> 00:24:59,785
"Boo-Boo".
What is that?
466
00:24:59,786 --> 00:25:02,121
You remember,
"Let's Boo-Boo."
467
00:25:02,122 --> 00:25:04,223
You know, from Mr. Shepherd's
classroom, it said on the wall,
468
00:25:04,224 --> 00:25:06,825
"Exit, pursued by a bear," you
know, from that Shakespeare play?
469
00:25:06,826 --> 00:25:08,660
A Winter's Tale.
Yeah. What was it called?
470
00:25:08,661 --> 00:25:09,995
A Winter's Tale.
That's it.
471
00:25:09,996 --> 00:25:13,098
And if we needed to make a quick getaway,
we'd say, "Exit, pursued by a bear,"
472
00:25:13,099 --> 00:25:15,101
and then it was,
"Exit, pursued by Yogi Bear,"
473
00:25:15,201 --> 00:25:17,035
and then it was just,
"Let's Yogi and Boo-Boo,"
474
00:25:17,036 --> 00:25:18,310
and then, "Let's Boo-Boo."
475
00:25:18,437 --> 00:25:20,757
So you're saying we should go?
Yeah. It's shit here, innit?
476
00:25:25,745 --> 00:25:26,746
Ah!
477
00:25:27,513 --> 00:25:32,758
The Old Familiar.
Now this is a pub.
478
00:25:35,421 --> 00:25:37,991
Yes.
This is more like it.
479
00:25:41,059 --> 00:25:42,231
Like deja vu.
480
00:25:42,928 --> 00:25:48,766
David, my man, have you heard the news?
Gary King is back in town.
481
00:25:48,767 --> 00:25:49,802
Who's he?
482
00:26:05,483 --> 00:26:06,826
How was the funeral, Gary?
483
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,458
Your mum's funeral?
484
00:26:11,555 --> 00:26:13,626
It's difficult to
put into words.
485
00:26:14,525 --> 00:26:18,439
But if I had to choose
three, I would say,
486
00:26:19,029 --> 00:26:21,839
"Really, really sad."
487
00:26:22,967 --> 00:26:24,537
Oh, no, that's two, isn't it?
488
00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:27,444
How about, "Really, very sad"?
489
00:26:28,439 --> 00:26:31,682
It's a shame,
she was a good woman.
490
00:26:32,543 --> 00:26:34,177
I really liked your mum.
491
00:26:34,178 --> 00:26:37,125
Me, too, mate. Me, too.
492
00:26:37,947 --> 00:26:39,881
Hello.
Hello, mate.
493
00:26:39,882 --> 00:26:40,983
Are you here?
494
00:26:40,984 --> 00:26:42,986
Yeah, I've been here for ages.
What are you talking about?
495
00:26:43,086 --> 00:26:44,997
You get lost on the
ring road again?
496
00:26:45,922 --> 00:26:47,656
This is Newton Haven.
497
00:26:47,657 --> 00:26:49,466
What time are you meeting The Twins?
Twins?
498
00:26:49,592 --> 00:26:52,198
We're all at The Old Familiar.
Come by if you want.
499
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:57,807
Yeah, he is. Okay.
See you soon.
500
00:26:58,201 --> 00:26:59,339
Who was that, O-Man?
501
00:26:59,469 --> 00:27:04,006
Don't call me O-Man, Gary.
If you must know it was Sam.
502
00:27:04,007 --> 00:27:05,040
Sam's here?
Sam's here?
503
00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:08,043
Is there a fucking echo in here?
Yes, Sam's here.
504
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,344
She's down from Manchester. We're
driving to Mum's tomorrow.
505
00:27:10,345 --> 00:27:11,579
What, and she's coming here?
506
00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:14,015
Calm down, Steve, I saw her first.
Jesus Christ, not this again.
507
00:27:14,016 --> 00:27:17,885
Are you fucking kidding me?
I saw her first.
508
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:20,264
You really have a selective
memory, don't you?
509
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:21,856
Somebody else was saying that.
510
00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:23,724
Me. No. I would have remembered.
511
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,660
I told you I had
a thing about Sam
512
00:27:25,661 --> 00:27:28,229
and you proceeded to try and get
in her pants at every opportunity.
513
00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:29,297
Guys, please.
514
00:27:29,298 --> 00:27:31,632
You only liked her after
you found out I liked her!
515
00:27:31,633 --> 00:27:33,501
That's right, because you
did the school play.
516
00:27:33,502 --> 00:27:35,536
Cabaret. Cabaret.
Because she was in it.
517
00:27:35,537 --> 00:27:38,472
And she wore those fishnet stockings
and you got a big boner on stage.
518
00:27:38,473 --> 00:27:39,639
Jesus Christ.
519
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,742
Doesn't matter anyway, she always had
a massive wide on for Adrian Keane.
520
00:27:42,743 --> 00:27:43,977
I hated that prick.
521
00:27:43,978 --> 00:27:48,586
Can we not talk about
my sister in relation to,
522
00:27:48,716 --> 00:27:51,918
A, massive wide ons,
B, Steven's erect penis?
523
00:27:51,919 --> 00:27:53,420
All right.
524
00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:55,401
Is she still fit, though?
I'm not answering that.
525
00:27:56,157 --> 00:27:57,223
Is she, though?
526
00:27:57,224 --> 00:27:59,727
Am I what?
Fit.
527
00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:03,963
Hello, Sam. Steven? You've
grown, haven't you?
528
00:28:03,964 --> 00:28:05,999
Yeah, sideways.
You look fantastic.
529
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,467
Steroids.
530
00:28:07,468 --> 00:28:10,336
Andy, longtime.
531
00:28:10,337 --> 00:28:11,970
Hi, Pete.
Hi, Sam.
532
00:28:11,971 --> 00:28:12,972
All right, big brother?
533
00:28:14,541 --> 00:28:15,674
Gary.
534
00:28:15,675 --> 00:28:19,111
Willkommen. Bienvenue.
Welcome.
535
00:28:19,112 --> 00:28:20,272
Sam. Would you like a drink?
536
00:28:20,413 --> 00:28:23,215
Hey, Steve. She's just got here.
Come on.
537
00:28:23,216 --> 00:28:24,416
Sam. Would you like a drink?
538
00:28:24,417 --> 00:28:26,652
I'll have a vodka tonic,
thanks, Steven. Sure.
539
00:28:26,653 --> 00:28:28,173
I'm just going to nip to the loo.
Cool.
540
00:28:29,789 --> 00:28:31,268
Nature calls.
541
00:28:38,164 --> 00:28:39,997
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
542
00:28:39,998 --> 00:28:41,978
I'm going to the toilet.
Well, then, so am I.
543
00:28:43,936 --> 00:28:45,670
Gary! You are
out of your mind!
544
00:28:45,671 --> 00:28:47,116
What are you talking about?
You gave me the sign.
545
00:28:47,272 --> 00:28:49,946
What sign?
You went to the toilet.
546
00:28:50,075 --> 00:28:51,976
Gary, are you serious? I
haven't seen you in 20 years.
547
00:28:51,977 --> 00:28:54,579
Do you really think I'm going to have
sex with you in the ladies' toilet?
548
00:28:54,580 --> 00:28:56,314
Well, the disabled's
is out of order.
549
00:28:56,315 --> 00:28:58,349
Gary. What happened?
I don't know,
550
00:28:58,350 --> 00:29:00,618
maybe one of them put too many
paper towels down the toilet.
551
00:29:00,619 --> 00:29:03,019
I mean, we don't know what they
are thinking, really, do we?
552
00:29:03,122 --> 00:29:05,156
No. What happened to you?
553
00:29:05,157 --> 00:29:06,295
Nothing.
554
00:29:07,292 --> 00:29:09,203
Nothing happened to me.
I'm the same old Gary.
555
00:29:09,428 --> 00:29:11,304
No shit.
Huh!
556
00:29:11,562 --> 00:29:12,700
So, do you wanna?
557
00:29:14,632 --> 00:29:17,100
Oliver. I'll see you later.
You're going?
558
00:29:17,101 --> 00:29:19,302
I thought you weren't meeting The
Twins for another half hour?
559
00:29:19,303 --> 00:29:22,182
I'm not. Oh, yeah.
I believe this is yours.
560
00:29:26,611 --> 00:29:30,855
"Out of order."
It's a private joke.
561
00:29:31,549 --> 00:29:33,028
I don't want to know.
562
00:29:47,998 --> 00:29:49,999
- What is that?
- Modern art.
563
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,100
It's a memorial, isn't it?
564
00:29:51,101 --> 00:29:52,444
Yeah. To modern art.
565
00:29:53,303 --> 00:29:54,823
Hey. guys, do you
know what time it is?
566
00:29:55,472 --> 00:29:56,739
It's not even 6:00.
567
00:29:56,740 --> 00:30:00,709
Wrong! it's high time
we got onto The Cock!
568
00:30:00,710 --> 00:30:01,745
Whoo-hoo!
569
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:04,458
Let's go.
570
00:30:05,449 --> 00:30:07,053
Come on.
571
00:30:16,392 --> 00:30:17,871
When you're ready, mate.
572
00:30:21,063 --> 00:30:23,168
Oh, shit.
Look who it is.
573
00:30:23,799 --> 00:30:25,369
Basil. Mad Basil!
574
00:30:25,768 --> 00:30:26,935
Do you remember?
We used to come in here
575
00:30:26,936 --> 00:30:31,646
and listen to him talk about fucking UFOs
and lizard people and underwater Nazis.
576
00:30:31,774 --> 00:30:33,617
Didn't he spout some
bullshit about the Bermuda Triangle
577
00:30:33,742 --> 00:30:34,809
actually being a square?
578
00:30:34,810 --> 00:30:38,012
No, he said it was two isosceles
triangles forming a rhombus.
579
00:30:38,013 --> 00:30:39,314
He was your best mate,
wasn't he, Steve?
580
00:30:39,315 --> 00:30:41,849
No, he wasn't my
best mate, Gary.
581
00:30:41,850 --> 00:30:44,051
He was a lonely, old guy and
I felt a bit sorry for him.
582
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:45,895
That's right. Basil!
583
00:30:48,189 --> 00:30:50,224
Maybe we're not the local
legends you think we are.
584
00:30:50,225 --> 00:30:51,892
Gary King?
Speak for yourself, mate.
585
00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,304
You're barred.
586
00:30:55,263 --> 00:30:58,732
I cannot fucking believe this.
This is ridiculous.
587
00:30:58,733 --> 00:30:59,900
Believe me, Gary,
it's not worth it.
588
00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:02,575
Have two in the next one. Have them
all in the next one, for all I care.
589
00:31:02,704 --> 00:31:05,465
We've got to have one in every pub
otherwise the whole thing's fucked.
590
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:07,416
I'd say it was fairly
fucked already, mate.
591
00:31:07,709 --> 00:31:08,687
Great.
592
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,684
How much more of this
do we have to endure?
593
00:31:18,685 --> 00:31:20,687
That was three. There's nine more.
Oh, good.
594
00:31:20,787 --> 00:31:22,755
Fuck that.
I need to eat something.
595
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,090
We can get some food
in the next pub.
596
00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,125
As long as it's
reasonably healthy.
597
00:31:26,126 --> 00:31:27,628
This is Newton Haven.
598
00:31:27,828 --> 00:31:29,795
Hardly the heart of the
organic revolution.
599
00:31:29,796 --> 00:31:31,497
I doubt it's the
heart of anything.
600
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:35,368
My wife wanted us to go organic,
problem is, I kinda like eating shit.
601
00:31:35,369 --> 00:31:37,315
The next pub does shit!
Keep up!
602
00:31:40,941 --> 00:31:43,875
Oh, yeah.
I remember this one.
603
00:31:43,876 --> 00:31:46,049
- We had New Year's in here, didn't we?
- '89 into '90.
604
00:31:46,178 --> 00:31:48,179
Isn't that when you
slept on the pool table, Andy?
605
00:31:48,180 --> 00:31:49,250
Yeah. I believe it was.
606
00:31:49,415 --> 00:31:50,758
For six hours.
Six hours.
607
00:31:51,951 --> 00:31:53,451
Thank you for reminding me.
608
00:31:56,389 --> 00:31:57,489
Do you remember
when you woke up,
609
00:31:57,490 --> 00:31:59,858
we said you'd been asleep for
a year and that it was 1991
610
00:31:59,859 --> 00:32:01,420
and you freaked out
and punched a clock?
611
00:32:02,495 --> 00:32:03,701
That was a great night.
612
00:32:03,930 --> 00:32:05,773
Didn't you manage to get off
with Erika Leekes, Peter?
613
00:32:05,965 --> 00:32:08,741
Yes, I did. Something of a personal
triumph, if I say so myself.
614
00:32:08,868 --> 00:32:11,770
She of the Marmalade Sandwich fame?
Marmalade Sandwich...
615
00:32:11,771 --> 00:32:12,771
The very same.
616
00:32:12,904 --> 00:32:15,773
Erika Leekes, Tracy Benson,
Becky Salt.
617
00:32:15,774 --> 00:32:17,708
Two blondes and a redhead
in the middle.
618
00:32:17,709 --> 00:32:20,744
The Marmalade Sandwich.
Becky Salt. Fucking hell.
619
00:32:20,745 --> 00:32:21,979
Wonder what they're doing now.
620
00:32:21,980 --> 00:32:23,180
Why don't you ask them?
621
00:32:23,181 --> 00:32:24,216
What do you mean?
622
00:32:24,316 --> 00:32:27,885
I mean, sitting at that table over there are
two blondes and a redhead in the middle.
623
00:32:27,886 --> 00:32:29,253
Shut the fuck up.
624
00:32:29,254 --> 00:32:31,589
I'd say that's Erika Leekes on the
left, Tracy Benson on the right,
625
00:32:31,590 --> 00:32:33,657
and by process of elimination,
there's Becky Salt in the middle.
626
00:32:33,658 --> 00:32:35,593
That's the Marmalade Sandwich
all growed up.
627
00:32:35,594 --> 00:32:37,328
That is very spooky.
628
00:32:37,329 --> 00:32:39,029
We should get them over.
No.
629
00:32:39,030 --> 00:32:40,564
Leave the past where it is.
630
00:32:40,565 --> 00:32:42,232
It's bad enough having to
look at your old, ugly mugs.
631
00:32:42,233 --> 00:32:44,701
You make it sound like
we're fucking ancient.
632
00:32:44,702 --> 00:32:45,735
We haven't changed that much.
633
00:32:45,736 --> 00:32:47,971
I mean, sure, Steve's let
himself go a bit. What?
634
00:32:47,972 --> 00:32:50,740
Pete's got the same haircut and Oliver
has still got his mark of the devil.
635
00:32:50,741 --> 00:32:52,008
No, he hasn't No, he hasn't.
636
00:32:52,009 --> 00:32:53,242
It's called
laser surgery, Gary.
637
00:32:53,243 --> 00:32:55,812
It's a small price to pay for
not being called fucking O-Man.
638
00:32:55,813 --> 00:32:57,513
That works for Sisters of
Mercy tattoos as well.
639
00:32:57,514 --> 00:32:58,891
I still like the
Sisters Of Mercy.
640
00:32:59,016 --> 00:33:00,290
Well, good job,
or you'd never go swimming.
641
00:33:00,417 --> 00:33:01,684
I'm lost.
Don't be.
642
00:33:01,685 --> 00:33:04,427
Well, I for one, think it's nice
to see the old faces again.
643
00:33:04,555 --> 00:33:05,590
Cheers, mate.
644
00:33:05,789 --> 00:33:07,234
Excuse me? This taken?
645
00:33:09,393 --> 00:33:10,599
Is this seat taken?
646
00:33:12,296 --> 00:33:13,365
Have it, mate.
647
00:33:13,763 --> 00:33:14,798
Thanks.
648
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:20,335
Wasn't that...
Shane Hawkins.
649
00:33:20,336 --> 00:33:22,170
Hey, didn't he...
Yes, he did.
650
00:33:22,171 --> 00:33:24,406
Hang on. What happened
with Shane Hawkins again?
651
00:33:24,407 --> 00:33:26,819
I'd rather not bring it all
up again, if that's okay.
652
00:33:27,910 --> 00:33:29,578
Hey, man. Listen, Pete.
653
00:33:29,579 --> 00:33:31,346
Bottling up past trauma
can lead to
654
00:33:31,347 --> 00:33:34,650
inadequate coping strategies
in later life, apparently.
655
00:33:34,651 --> 00:33:37,085
I don't know, I mean, it's not
even about the past, you know.
656
00:33:37,086 --> 00:33:40,288
It's not about the fact
that he bullied me,
657
00:33:40,289 --> 00:33:42,735
that he made me miss more
school days than chicken pox.
658
00:33:42,892 --> 00:33:46,361
It's not even that he forced me to spend
entire lessons hiding in a toilet cubicle,
659
00:33:46,528 --> 00:33:49,737
or that he punched me so hard
he dislodged my eyeball.
660
00:33:49,898 --> 00:33:52,879
And it's not even that he ruined
a large portion of my childhood.
661
00:33:53,001 --> 00:33:57,245
No, it's the fact that just
then, he didn't recognize me.
662
00:33:57,506 --> 00:34:01,477
He looked straight through me
like it all meant nothing.
663
00:34:02,411 --> 00:34:04,745
That probably sounds weird,
doesn't it?
664
00:34:04,746 --> 00:34:06,247
Shots!
665
00:34:06,248 --> 00:34:09,422
S-H-O-T-S. Shots.
666
00:34:09,551 --> 00:34:10,757
What are you doing, Gary?
667
00:34:10,986 --> 00:34:12,966
I thought it was obvious.
Shots.
668
00:34:13,088 --> 00:34:14,688
Firstly, Peter was talking
about something
669
00:34:14,689 --> 00:34:16,122
which clearly made him
feel very uncomfortable.
670
00:34:16,123 --> 00:34:18,296
It's all right, Andy.
No, Peter, it's not all right.
671
00:34:18,626 --> 00:34:23,336
Secondly, 12 pints is more than enough,
and thirdly, I don't fucking drink!
672
00:34:23,497 --> 00:34:25,532
But shots don't count, do they?
673
00:34:25,533 --> 00:34:27,300
You said you wanted
to catch up and chew the fat.
674
00:34:27,301 --> 00:34:29,144
I think you just
wanted to drink it.
675
00:34:29,336 --> 00:34:30,704
We're not here as your friends.
676
00:34:30,705 --> 00:34:32,378
We're just your
fucking enablers.
677
00:34:32,773 --> 00:34:35,041
Enablers. That's a funny word, isn't it?
"Enabler."
678
00:34:35,042 --> 00:34:36,776
Gary King And The Enablers.
679
00:34:36,777 --> 00:34:38,445
That's a good name for a band, Steve.
Write that down.
680
00:34:38,446 --> 00:34:39,686
Don't do a Gary, Gary.
681
00:34:39,814 --> 00:34:41,815
Oh, is that a thing now, is it?
It's always been a thing.
682
00:34:41,816 --> 00:34:43,550
You don't need us to
help you get fucked up,
683
00:34:43,551 --> 00:34:46,326
you've done a perfectly
good job so far on your own.
684
00:34:47,454 --> 00:34:49,455
I'm gonna go and see if
there's a bus back to London
685
00:34:49,456 --> 00:34:50,789
if anyone wants to
come with me.
686
00:34:50,790 --> 00:34:54,660
You can't go. This is special.
This is our anniversary.
687
00:34:54,661 --> 00:34:56,061
It's not the anniversary, Gary.
688
00:34:56,062 --> 00:34:57,696
We did this in June.
It's October.
689
00:34:57,697 --> 00:34:59,498
Yeah, but it's the anniversary
of the year, isn't it?
690
00:34:59,499 --> 00:35:01,400
Every year is the
anniversary of a year!
691
00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:03,142
It's just not the
same anymore, Gary,
692
00:35:03,269 --> 00:35:05,647
and it's not that the town's
changed, we have changed.
693
00:35:05,839 --> 00:35:08,547
Yeah, well, you can't go,
'cause the buses are finished.
694
00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:11,577
Then I'm gonna go back to the B&B.
You coming?
695
00:35:11,578 --> 00:35:12,745
I could do with
an early one actually.
696
00:35:12,746 --> 00:35:14,146
I should probably go
and find Sam.
697
00:35:14,147 --> 00:35:15,866
Yeah, I'm gonna go
and find Sam with Oliver.
698
00:35:16,014 --> 00:35:17,220
That's settled then, yeah?
699
00:35:18,684 --> 00:35:21,324
You know what I think?
I think you're jealous.
700
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:26,492
Yeah, you've got your houses and your cars
and your wives and your job security.
701
00:35:26,658 --> 00:35:29,764
But you don't have
what I have. Freedom.
702
00:35:29,962 --> 00:35:34,172
You're all slaves and I'm free
to do what I want any old time.
703
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:36,111
And this is what you want?
704
00:35:37,002 --> 00:35:39,676
You should grow up, mate.
Join society.
705
00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:42,213
Yeah, but Mum died.
706
00:35:42,341 --> 00:35:45,719
And we're all very sorry,
but now it's time to go home.
707
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,723
I thought we were home.
708
00:35:56,721 --> 00:35:59,668
I can't help feeling sorry for him.
709
00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:09,407
Don't.
710
00:36:18,742 --> 00:36:20,949
Oh! Fuck! Piss!
711
00:36:30,387 --> 00:36:33,368
Careful, the floors
a bit pissy.
712
00:36:34,524 --> 00:36:36,026
Wasn't me.
713
00:36:39,529 --> 00:36:41,406
That was me.
714
00:36:42,566 --> 00:36:44,307
Did that back in '90.
715
00:36:45,936 --> 00:36:47,414
1990.
716
00:36:48,938 --> 00:36:52,106
Punched the shit
out of the wall.
717
00:36:52,107 --> 00:36:55,680
I don't know why. Seemed
important at the time.
718
00:36:58,814 --> 00:37:02,250
You guys look like you're
having a good night, though.
719
00:37:02,251 --> 00:37:05,232
I'm doing The Golden Mile tonight.
You want to tag along?
720
00:37:06,288 --> 00:37:09,098
We'll be like The Six Musketeers.
721
00:37:11,927 --> 00:37:14,601
I said we're doing
The Golden Mile.
722
00:37:17,899 --> 00:37:19,742
You think you're so cool,
don't you?
723
00:37:20,435 --> 00:37:21,436
Huh?
724
00:37:21,903 --> 00:37:23,604
But we were cooler.
725
00:37:23,605 --> 00:37:25,339
We owned this town.
726
00:37:25,340 --> 00:37:27,877
We paved the way for you lot.
Blazed a trail.
727
00:37:28,042 --> 00:37:30,177
Hey! Look at me when
I'm talking to you!
728
00:37:30,178 --> 00:37:32,249
Please don't.
Don't what?
729
00:37:32,647 --> 00:37:34,047
You don't want to do that.
730
00:37:34,048 --> 00:37:35,686
Don't I?
731
00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,812
What?
732
00:38:10,851 --> 00:38:12,752
You need to explain
this right now!
733
00:38:12,753 --> 00:38:14,020
Andy, this kid
just attacked me.
734
00:38:14,021 --> 00:38:15,087
Don't you dare
change the subject!
735
00:38:15,088 --> 00:38:16,123
He smashed my head
in the mirror.
736
00:38:16,223 --> 00:38:18,757
You know who I just spoke to?
Your mum!
737
00:38:18,758 --> 00:38:21,393
And not from the afterlife.
From fucking Bournemouth.
738
00:38:21,394 --> 00:38:22,527
Is that real?
739
00:38:22,528 --> 00:38:24,062
She says she hasn't spoken
to you for eight months.
740
00:38:24,063 --> 00:38:25,565
Andy...
His head just came off!
741
00:38:25,698 --> 00:38:28,166
No, Gary, you are not gonna
wriggle out of it this time.
742
00:39:54,450 --> 00:39:56,418
There's someone in here.
743
00:40:27,916 --> 00:40:29,122
Andy, did you see...
744
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:40,000
745
00:40:40,001 --> 00:40:50,001
746
00:40:50,002 --> 00:40:57,002
747
00:41:04,285 --> 00:41:09,122
WTF, Gary. WTF.
748
00:41:09,123 --> 00:41:12,195
What the fuck does "WTF" mean?
749
00:41:12,526 --> 00:41:14,836
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
750
00:41:15,563 --> 00:41:17,363
This can't be happening.
Can it?
751
00:41:17,364 --> 00:41:18,485
You said it, mate.
752
00:41:18,599 --> 00:41:20,332
I can't believe it.
753
00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:21,533
I know, mate.
754
00:41:21,534 --> 00:41:23,445
I can't believe you
lied about your mum!
755
00:41:23,603 --> 00:41:24,670
That was a white lie!
756
00:41:24,671 --> 00:41:27,239
How is that a white lie?
She's not dead, is she?
757
00:41:29,776 --> 00:41:32,444
Wait, wait, wait!
Where are you going?
758
00:41:32,445 --> 00:41:34,322
To get help.
No, don't do that!
759
00:41:34,447 --> 00:41:36,688
What, don't get help? We don't
know how far this goes.
760
00:41:38,017 --> 00:41:39,251
Wait, who are you calling?
Vanessa.
761
00:41:39,252 --> 00:41:40,352
Who's Vanessa?
My wife.
762
00:41:40,353 --> 00:41:42,187
Why are you calling your wife?
Because she's my wife.
763
00:41:42,188 --> 00:41:43,789
You just said we don't
know how far this goes.
764
00:41:43,790 --> 00:41:46,425
I was just thinking about the pub.
Oh, well, there's a surprise.
765
00:41:46,426 --> 00:41:47,826
I can't get through.
766
00:41:47,827 --> 00:41:49,027
Can you get through to Sam?
767
00:41:49,028 --> 00:41:50,728
I've got full bars and
I'm not getting through.
768
00:41:50,729 --> 00:41:56,567
I'm sorry, your call
cannot be connected at this time.
769
00:41:56,568 --> 00:41:57,979
Must be the network.
770
00:41:58,137 --> 00:42:02,415
Holy shit.
This is all connected.
771
00:42:03,709 --> 00:42:05,950
This explains why
everything's gone fuck up.
772
00:42:06,078 --> 00:42:07,445
Everybody's been replaced
by one of these.
773
00:42:07,446 --> 00:42:10,882
That's why no one recognized
us, Basil, Dave, Raymondo.
774
00:42:10,883 --> 00:42:13,518
I thought it was weird'
Shane Hawkins.
775
00:42:13,519 --> 00:42:17,488
Exactly. it's not us that's
changed, it's the town.
776
00:42:17,489 --> 00:42:19,590
I'm right, aren't I, Andy?
777
00:42:19,591 --> 00:42:21,958
Andy, aren't I right?
You're never wrong.
778
00:42:21,959 --> 00:42:25,463
No, whatever the fuck's happening,
we can't stay in the gents forever.
779
00:42:25,596 --> 00:42:27,439
Ten people have entered this
toilet in the last five minutes
780
00:42:27,565 --> 00:42:29,232
and not a single one
has come back out again.
781
00:42:29,233 --> 00:42:30,644
That's going to
look suspicious.
782
00:42:30,768 --> 00:42:32,179
Gay loving.
783
00:42:32,436 --> 00:42:34,279
And that's worse
than five dismembered bodies?
784
00:42:34,438 --> 00:42:36,907
This is Newton Haven.
785
00:42:47,952 --> 00:42:51,592
How's it looking?
Normal. Very normal.
786
00:42:51,888 --> 00:42:53,765
I don't like it.
787
00:42:53,957 --> 00:42:57,370
What do we do?
Let's finish our drinks.
788
00:43:09,573 --> 00:43:11,707
I say we neck these and
get the fuck out of here.
789
00:43:11,708 --> 00:43:13,108
To London?
To The Trusty Servant.
790
00:43:13,109 --> 00:43:15,282
Are you fucking kidding?
Oh, yeah.
791
00:43:16,079 --> 00:43:18,647
It's The Good Companions next.
I always mix those two up.
792
00:43:18,648 --> 00:43:20,482
Are you saying we move
on to the next pub?
793
00:43:20,483 --> 00:43:22,519
We should get in The Beast
and head back to London!
794
00:43:22,651 --> 00:43:24,995
My brake light is broken.
So don't use the brakes!
795
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,188
I'm way over the limit. When
has that ever stopped you?
796
00:43:27,189 --> 00:43:29,965
I don't want to put any more
points on Pete's license.
797
00:43:30,092 --> 00:43:32,627
Andy can drive, he's teetotal!
798
00:43:43,839 --> 00:43:45,206
Ah!
799
00:43:45,207 --> 00:43:46,608
That's settles it then.
800
00:43:46,609 --> 00:43:48,810
The last thing we need to do is
get pulled over by the police.
801
00:43:48,811 --> 00:43:50,111
A, we're all drunk,
802
00:43:50,112 --> 00:43:52,980
B, they might be in on it and,
C, we've got blood on our hands.
803
00:43:52,981 --> 00:43:55,182
It's more like ink. We've
got ink on our hands.
804
00:43:55,183 --> 00:43:58,952
So, has it got messy yet? What?
805
00:43:58,953 --> 00:44:01,934
What are you, five pubs in?
Four.
806
00:44:02,357 --> 00:44:05,804
Oh, not even halfway.
Plenty more fun to be had.
807
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:08,472
Enjoy your night, Peter.
808
00:44:08,596 --> 00:44:09,666
Thank you.
809
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:12,673
Thank you.
810
00:44:16,170 --> 00:44:17,204
Sorry.
811
00:44:17,205 --> 00:44:19,439
The way I see it, we've told everybody
we were doing The Golden Mile.
812
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:20,507
You did.
813
00:44:20,508 --> 00:44:22,276
If we suddenly jump in The Beast
now and head for the hills,
814
00:44:22,277 --> 00:44:23,609
they're gonna know
that we know,
815
00:44:23,610 --> 00:44:25,845
but if we keep doing what we're
doing and going where we're going,
816
00:44:25,846 --> 00:44:26,912
then they're not gonna know.
817
00:44:26,913 --> 00:44:28,114
Know what?
That we know.
818
00:44:28,115 --> 00:44:30,618
I suggest we finish what we started
and leave quietly in the morning.
819
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:33,994
Wait. You're really suggesting...
We finish The Golden Mile.
820
00:44:34,554 --> 00:44:36,625
It's pointless
arguing with him.
821
00:44:36,990 --> 00:44:38,367
Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo.
822
00:44:44,798 --> 00:44:46,402
We're just five friends
823
00:44:47,234 --> 00:44:49,339
on a night out,
having a good time.
824
00:45:52,364 --> 00:45:53,863
Drinking.
Ah!
825
00:45:53,864 --> 00:45:55,264
Beer.
Pubs.
826
00:45:55,265 --> 00:45:56,539
Shall we?
827
00:46:01,672 --> 00:46:04,107
I feel a little
uncomfortable drinking this much.
828
00:46:04,108 --> 00:46:06,142
It's like Dutch
courage, isn't it?
829
00:46:06,143 --> 00:46:08,911
You know, when the English soldiers
used to drink Dutch gin before battle
830
00:46:08,912 --> 00:46:10,313
to give them super strength.
831
00:46:10,314 --> 00:46:12,849
You know, I thought that was to
numb the sense of impending doom.
832
00:46:12,850 --> 00:46:13,950
Exactly.
833
00:46:13,951 --> 00:46:16,989
We're just five friends on a
night out, having a good time.
834
00:46:38,674 --> 00:46:40,175
I need the toilet.
835
00:46:40,176 --> 00:46:43,044
Go on then. You've earned it.
Huh?
836
00:46:43,045 --> 00:46:45,218
You're doing really good, Oliver.
837
00:46:46,516 --> 00:46:49,019
He didn't make it this far last time.
I'm proud of him.
838
00:46:49,385 --> 00:46:51,119
You're enjoying this,
aren't you?
839
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,623
Yeah, five guys on a night
out, having a great time.
840
00:46:53,723 --> 00:46:55,201
Pretending to have
a great time.
841
00:46:55,357 --> 00:46:56,524
Are you pretending?
842
00:46:56,525 --> 00:46:59,226
If we get out of here alive,
I'm going to kill you.
843
00:46:59,227 --> 00:47:00,895
We're still in the dark, Gary.
844
00:47:00,896 --> 00:47:03,502
Yeah, our families could be
in danger for all we know.
845
00:47:03,665 --> 00:47:07,511
I know, my mum could be dead.
For reals this time.
846
00:47:08,270 --> 00:47:11,649
Hey, why don't we just
ask somebody? Who?
847
00:47:12,707 --> 00:47:15,916
The Reverend Green.
Come on. Wait.
848
00:47:16,311 --> 00:47:17,845
What the fuck are you doing?
849
00:47:17,846 --> 00:47:20,793
I'm going to go and have a little
chat with The Reverend Green.
850
00:47:21,383 --> 00:47:22,555
You're going to buy drugs?
851
00:47:22,717 --> 00:47:26,027
I am going to go over there and subtly
check if that is The Reverend Green
852
00:47:26,187 --> 00:47:29,155
and if it is, I can ask him
what's going on,
853
00:47:29,156 --> 00:47:30,658
and possibly buy some drugs.
854
00:47:30,958 --> 00:47:32,625
But what if he's one of them?
855
00:47:32,626 --> 00:47:34,828
No, me and The Reverend had
a highly sophisticated code
856
00:47:34,829 --> 00:47:36,749
when discussing the purchase
of herbal narcotics.
857
00:47:36,964 --> 00:47:41,174
If he doesn't understand me, it means he's
one of them and I will simply walk away.
858
00:47:41,535 --> 00:47:42,536
Ah!
859
00:47:48,709 --> 00:47:51,544
Have you got any drugs? I
don't do that anymore, Gary.
860
00:47:51,545 --> 00:47:53,546
Do what?
That.
861
00:47:53,547 --> 00:47:54,914
That why you're
in a suit, is it?
862
00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:56,748
'Cause drug dealing is
not good enough for you?
863
00:47:56,749 --> 00:47:58,917
There are no drug
dealers anymore, Gary.
864
00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,819
I've got a proper job
in a proper office.
865
00:48:00,820 --> 00:48:03,422
You had a proper office.
That was the gents' toilets.
866
00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:05,591
Nothing wrong with doing
your business in the toilet.
867
00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:08,232
Look, a lot has changed since
you have left. I know.
868
00:48:08,394 --> 00:48:10,431
How much do you know?
A little.
869
00:48:10,563 --> 00:48:11,769
How much is a little?
870
00:48:11,965 --> 00:48:13,899
The town has been taken over
by robots full of blue stuff.
871
00:48:13,900 --> 00:48:15,067
Shh. Keep your voice down.
872
00:48:15,068 --> 00:48:16,435
You don't even know
what you're talking about.
873
00:48:16,436 --> 00:48:18,904
Tell us then.
Well, they're not robots.
874
00:48:18,905 --> 00:48:20,839
Do you even know
what robot means?
875
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:24,583
Course I do. It's like,
"Hello, I am a robot."
876
00:48:24,744 --> 00:48:28,379
It means "slave" and believe
me, they are not slaves.
877
00:48:28,380 --> 00:48:30,581
Are you their prisoner?
No, I am very happy.
878
00:48:30,582 --> 00:48:31,754
Tell your face.
879
00:48:31,884 --> 00:48:34,118
Hey! What's going on?
880
00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,120
The town's been invaded
by robots who aren't robots
881
00:48:36,121 --> 00:48:38,032
and The Rev's their prisoner.
I am not.
882
00:48:38,557 --> 00:48:40,935
We're leaving first thing.
We can get you out of here.
883
00:48:41,193 --> 00:48:44,095
I'm not going. It's not what you think.
This is for all our benefit.
884
00:48:44,096 --> 00:48:47,566
You've said too much, Trevor.
Yeah, put a cork in it, Trevor.
885
00:48:47,666 --> 00:48:49,934
I'm just trying to help.
It's not your place to help.
886
00:48:49,935 --> 00:48:51,602
They will have
everything in hand.
887
00:48:51,603 --> 00:48:52,638
Are you guys robots?
888
00:48:52,804 --> 00:48:56,149
Well, the word robot actually
comes from an old Czech word...
889
00:48:56,307 --> 00:48:57,752
...robotnik...
...meaning slave.
890
00:48:57,942 --> 00:48:59,809
And we are not slaves.
We are very, very happy.
891
00:48:59,810 --> 00:49:01,016
And not robots.
892
00:49:01,145 --> 00:49:02,612
Oh, my God,
are these guys robots?
893
00:49:02,613 --> 00:49:03,813
Shut up about robots!
894
00:49:03,814 --> 00:49:05,482
I say we shut up
about everything!
895
00:49:12,323 --> 00:49:13,461
Trevor.
896
00:49:15,793 --> 00:49:18,239
It's your supervisor.
897
00:49:20,531 --> 00:49:23,068
Hello, Trevor.
Hello, sir.
898
00:49:25,236 --> 00:49:26,873
But...
899
00:49:27,771 --> 00:49:29,148
I understand.
900
00:49:50,060 --> 00:49:51,471
Thanks a bunch.
901
00:49:57,733 --> 00:49:59,144
What did I miss?
902
00:49:59,268 --> 00:50:01,269
Your friends trying to help.
903
00:50:01,270 --> 00:50:02,544
We don't need your help.
904
00:50:02,671 --> 00:50:03,979
Well, what should we do?
905
00:50:04,573 --> 00:50:07,713
I suggest you get on your way.
906
00:50:09,612 --> 00:50:11,353
I think we should
do what he says.
907
00:50:12,181 --> 00:50:13,524
Okay.
908
00:50:21,223 --> 00:50:22,429
Here we go.
909
00:50:26,061 --> 00:50:27,894
Come on!
Gary.
910
00:50:27,895 --> 00:50:29,296
Gary!
911
00:50:29,297 --> 00:50:31,465
Let's just get in and
out of this one, yeah?
912
00:50:31,466 --> 00:50:33,207
No more making new friends.
913
00:50:33,935 --> 00:50:37,237
Gentlemen!
The prodigal sons return!
914
00:50:37,238 --> 00:50:40,185
What will it be, one of
our guest ales perchance?
915
00:50:41,209 --> 00:50:43,977
Might I recommend
five pints of Crowning Glory?
916
00:50:43,978 --> 00:50:47,014
Rather fitting, wouldn't you say, Gary?
What? Sorry. What?
917
00:50:47,015 --> 00:50:50,150
It's a delightful brew.
Hoppy, nutty, foamy,
918
00:50:50,151 --> 00:50:53,291
Does it have a surprisingly fruity
note that lingers on the tongue?
919
00:50:53,588 --> 00:50:56,034
You're obviously a connoisseur.
920
00:50:56,224 --> 00:50:58,090
Then you'll already
know that it's a rare treat
921
00:50:58,091 --> 00:51:02,094
for rogues, reverends, royalty
and all good folks between.
922
00:51:02,095 --> 00:51:03,729
Five of those, please.
923
00:51:03,730 --> 00:51:05,676
Welcome home, boys.
924
00:51:10,070 --> 00:51:11,904
I don't remember him
being that friendly.
925
00:51:11,905 --> 00:51:14,283
He's obviously one of them.
926
00:51:14,408 --> 00:51:16,008
How can he be?
He remembered me.
927
00:51:16,009 --> 00:51:17,476
We don't know
what they remember.
928
00:51:17,477 --> 00:51:18,922
Maybe they
have selective memories.
929
00:51:19,079 --> 00:51:20,980
Yeah, like what's his name?
Me.
930
00:51:20,981 --> 00:51:22,915
Maybe he's one of the others.
Like The Reverend.
931
00:51:22,916 --> 00:51:24,259
It is very hard
to tell, isn't it?
932
00:51:24,384 --> 00:51:26,352
Yeah, I mean, is he one of
them or is he one of them?
933
00:51:26,353 --> 00:51:28,187
Wait, wait, which ones
are the thems again?
934
00:51:28,188 --> 00:51:29,461
Well, they're both thems,
aren't they?
935
00:51:29,588 --> 00:51:30,822
But there's two ways
of saying it.
936
00:51:30,823 --> 00:51:32,957
Is he one of them or
is he one of them?
937
00:51:32,958 --> 00:51:34,259
We need different terms.
938
00:51:34,260 --> 00:51:38,231
One for the people who aren't robots and
one for the robots who aren't robots.
939
00:51:39,432 --> 00:51:44,506
All right, we need to be able to
differentiate between them, them and us.
940
00:51:44,737 --> 00:51:46,538
Yeah, I think the pronouns
are really confusing.
941
00:51:46,539 --> 00:51:48,540
Yes. I don't even
know what a pronoun is.
942
00:51:48,541 --> 00:51:50,608
It's a word that can
function by itself as a noun
943
00:51:50,609 --> 00:51:52,277
which refers to something
else in the discourse.
944
00:51:52,278 --> 00:51:53,621
I don't get it.
You just used one.
945
00:51:53,746 --> 00:51:55,113
Did I?
Yeah. "It" is a pronoun.
946
00:51:55,114 --> 00:51:56,147
What is?
It.
947
00:51:56,148 --> 00:51:57,215
Is it?
Christ.
948
00:51:57,216 --> 00:52:00,084
Look, we just need a fucking word
so we can identify who's who.
949
00:52:00,085 --> 00:52:04,864
He's a blank, she's a blank, those
two people are definitely blanks.
950
00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:07,769
Sam.
951
00:52:08,927 --> 00:52:10,372
I got this, Steve.
952
00:52:13,565 --> 00:52:15,010
All right, Sam?
Oh, crumbs.
953
00:52:15,467 --> 00:52:17,267
How's your night going?
954
00:52:17,268 --> 00:52:19,612
Good. Sort of.
955
00:52:20,338 --> 00:52:22,340
What do you mean "sort of"?
956
00:52:23,675 --> 00:52:26,053
Well, it's weird, isn't it?
957
00:52:26,177 --> 00:52:30,249
You come back and everything's
the same, but sort of different.
958
00:52:30,380 --> 00:52:31,950
Different how?
959
00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:33,628
Just weird.
960
00:52:33,751 --> 00:52:35,196
How weird?
961
00:52:36,053 --> 00:52:37,054
What are you getting at, Gary?
962
00:52:37,187 --> 00:52:38,666
Come with me.
963
00:52:41,225 --> 00:52:42,992
Puck's sake, Gary, take a hint.
964
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,393
It's all right, I'm not
trying to have sex with you.
965
00:52:44,394 --> 00:52:45,862
Why are we in the
disabled toilets then?
966
00:52:45,863 --> 00:52:47,130
There's something I need
to tell you right now,
967
00:52:47,131 --> 00:52:48,431
unless you do want to have sex,
968
00:52:48,432 --> 00:52:49,532
in which case
I'll tell you afterwards.
969
00:52:49,533 --> 00:52:50,534
Tell me right now.
970
00:52:50,667 --> 00:52:52,034
Have you noticed anything
creepy about The Twins
971
00:52:52,035 --> 00:52:53,169
apart from the fact
that they're twins?
972
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:55,605
Just because they're twins doesn't
automatically make them creepy.
973
00:52:55,606 --> 00:52:57,340
It does a little bit.
You had sex with them.
974
00:52:57,341 --> 00:53:00,719
A, I did not, and, B, how
did you know about that?
975
00:53:00,843 --> 00:53:03,712
A, it's a small town, B, I'm not
stupid and, C, they told me.
976
00:53:03,713 --> 00:53:05,547
Right. Well, I did once,
but I was wasted,
977
00:53:05,548 --> 00:53:07,449
which was creepy because it was
like there was four of them.
978
00:53:07,450 --> 00:53:09,050
I am not proud of it.
I am a bit.
979
00:53:09,051 --> 00:53:11,686
Is this what you wanted to tell me?
No, this is...
980
00:53:14,924 --> 00:53:16,096
Are you okay, Sam?
Are you okay, Sam?
981
00:53:16,225 --> 00:53:17,704
I need a cigarette.
982
00:53:18,694 --> 00:53:21,229
Nobots?
How about Fauxbots?
983
00:53:21,230 --> 00:53:23,265
I think we should get away
from the whole robots thing.
984
00:53:23,266 --> 00:53:24,370
Steven?
985
00:53:24,834 --> 00:53:26,006
What's he up to?
986
00:53:26,803 --> 00:53:29,571
Oh, don't worry, he's probably just
trying to fuck Oliver's sister.
987
00:53:29,572 --> 00:53:30,572
Andy.
988
00:53:32,374 --> 00:53:34,047
Oh, my God,
that man is full of shit.
989
00:53:35,177 --> 00:53:36,944
I know that's not
a surprise to you.
990
00:53:36,945 --> 00:53:38,891
What did he say, Sam?
What did he say, Sam?
991
00:53:39,114 --> 00:53:44,393
He said that Newton Haven has been taken
over by robots full of blue stuff
992
00:53:44,553 --> 00:53:47,087
and if we don't do what they say,
they will make us their prisoners.
993
00:53:47,088 --> 00:53:48,726
Did you believe him?
Did you believe him?
994
00:53:49,057 --> 00:53:51,264
No, of course not.
995
00:53:53,428 --> 00:53:55,271
Did you believe him?
Did you believe him?
996
00:53:56,097 --> 00:53:57,531
What?
997
00:54:09,810 --> 00:54:11,978
See?
Come on, Sam.
998
00:54:11,979 --> 00:54:13,959
You know better than
to believe Gary King,
999
00:54:15,616 --> 00:54:16,617
Oh, crumbs.
1000
00:54:18,152 --> 00:54:19,130
Sam!
1001
00:54:27,761 --> 00:54:30,503
God!
You creepy bitches, get off!
1002
00:54:46,246 --> 00:54:47,247
Chuck us a ciggie.
1003
00:54:47,614 --> 00:54:48,615
Oh.
1004
00:54:52,085 --> 00:54:53,886
Gary, what's happening?
1005
00:54:53,887 --> 00:54:56,493
I told you in the disabled's.
Oh, yes, you did.
1006
00:54:56,723 --> 00:54:57,963
We should get inside, eh?
1007
00:54:58,191 --> 00:55:00,899
Otherwise people are going to
ask what the hell's going on.
1008
00:55:01,094 --> 00:55:02,293
What the hell's going on?
1009
00:55:02,294 --> 00:55:03,694
Steve, I got this.
Got what?
1010
00:55:03,695 --> 00:55:06,030
Sam, he's not good
enough for you.
1011
00:55:06,031 --> 00:55:07,098
What?
What?
1012
00:55:07,099 --> 00:55:09,739
We've been through
some crazy shit tonight
1013
00:55:10,802 --> 00:55:13,804
and it's really put things
in perspective for me,
1014
00:55:13,805 --> 00:55:18,220
and if everything is as fucked up as it seems,
then there's something I need to tell you.
1015
00:55:19,344 --> 00:55:23,247
You might think this is because
I've had seven pints, but it's not.
1016
00:55:23,248 --> 00:55:24,249
It's not.
1017
00:55:24,983 --> 00:55:26,621
I'm in love with you, Sam.
1018
00:55:26,985 --> 00:55:28,487
I always have been,
1019
00:55:28,887 --> 00:55:33,089
and it breaks my heart to see you waste
your affections on Gary fucking King.
1020
00:55:33,090 --> 00:55:35,730
Hey, that's a bit harsh. Oh,
no, you've got it all wrong.
1021
00:55:35,860 --> 00:55:38,028
There's nothing between...
And while I'm being honest,
1022
00:55:38,029 --> 00:55:41,932
just to lay it all out there, I am
currently seeing a fitness instructor.
1023
00:55:41,933 --> 00:55:43,344
She's 26 years old,
1024
00:55:43,501 --> 00:55:46,269
but I would drop her in
a heartbeat if it meant
1025
00:55:46,270 --> 00:55:47,908
that I had one last chance
with you.
1026
00:55:48,105 --> 00:55:51,279
Steven, there's nothing
between me and Gary King.
1027
00:55:54,011 --> 00:55:55,012
Oh, fuck.
1028
00:56:13,496 --> 00:56:15,066
Sorry.
1029
00:56:22,539 --> 00:56:24,644
Hey! Get your feet off her!
1030
00:56:29,379 --> 00:56:31,859
Pop its head off! Pop its head
off like an aspirin bottle.
1031
00:56:38,887 --> 00:56:39,957
Blue-bloods?
1032
00:56:40,089 --> 00:56:42,323
Nothing suggested in
the last three minutes
1033
00:56:42,324 --> 00:56:44,092
has been better than
Smashy-Smashy Egg Men.
1034
00:56:44,093 --> 00:56:45,760
Nothing.
What the hell's going on?
1035
00:56:45,761 --> 00:56:48,096
Did you guys think of a name for
the robots who aren't robots?
1036
00:56:48,097 --> 00:56:50,531
I'm afraid we've drawn a blank.
1037
00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:53,334
Well, we just had a barney with
two blanks in the beer garden.
1038
00:56:53,335 --> 00:56:55,008
- We have to leave now!
- Agreed.
1039
00:56:59,141 --> 00:57:00,441
Let's hit The Mermaid.
1040
00:57:00,442 --> 00:57:02,210
Wait, what?
Number eight.
1041
00:57:02,211 --> 00:57:03,243
"Number eight"?
1042
00:57:03,244 --> 00:57:05,520
Oh, fuck.
Andy, what's happening?
1043
00:57:06,014 --> 00:57:09,325
Gary thinks we should keep on with the
crawl because they know what we're doing,
1044
00:57:09,450 --> 00:57:11,585
but they don't know that we
know what they're doing.
1045
00:57:11,586 --> 00:57:14,863
And basically no one else
has a better idea, so fuck it.
1046
00:57:16,557 --> 00:57:17,695
What?
1047
00:57:18,860 --> 00:57:19,838
Wait!
1048
00:57:24,132 --> 00:57:26,600
Guys! Guys!
I've got a better idea.
1049
00:57:26,601 --> 00:57:28,635
I'm parked right round
here somewhere.
1050
00:57:28,636 --> 00:57:31,238
Haul it. Just go!
Steven, tell them!
1051
00:57:31,239 --> 00:57:33,506
Gary said they'll get us
if we try and leave now.
1052
00:57:33,507 --> 00:57:36,147
We're way past leaving now.
Come on.
1053
00:57:49,823 --> 00:57:51,359
Oh, yeah.
1054
00:57:52,125 --> 00:57:54,060
This is what the kids want.
1055
00:57:54,061 --> 00:57:55,494
This is a bit mad, isn't it?
1056
00:57:55,495 --> 00:57:58,339
This is perfect. We can hide out in here.
I'll get the drinks in.
1057
00:57:58,465 --> 00:57:59,965
Good plan, O-Man.
Hey!
1058
00:57:59,966 --> 00:58:01,536
Keep an eye out for blanks.
1059
00:58:01,802 --> 00:58:02,803
You've got it.
1060
00:58:14,113 --> 00:58:17,215
Why didn't you say anything?
About what?
1061
00:58:17,216 --> 00:58:19,059
About what you said
in the garden.
1062
00:58:20,453 --> 00:58:21,719
I always wanted to.
1063
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:23,721
It just never seemed
like the right moment.
1064
00:58:23,722 --> 00:58:25,690
Something always
got in the way.
1065
00:58:25,691 --> 00:58:27,728
Here you go,
get these down you.
1066
00:58:28,327 --> 00:58:29,328
Thanks.
1067
00:58:29,495 --> 00:58:31,702
Steven?
1068
00:58:36,367 --> 00:58:39,536
Please! I have so
much to live for!
1069
00:58:39,537 --> 00:58:41,605
It's me, you numpty.
Basil!
1070
00:58:41,606 --> 00:58:44,541
I knew seeing your faces again
would spell trouble.
1071
00:58:44,542 --> 00:58:46,920
Wait. How do I know
it's really you?
1072
00:58:47,112 --> 00:58:51,857
Because I'm the only one who's going to
tell you the truth about Newton Haven.
1073
00:58:52,684 --> 00:58:56,954
Now, do you recall the events of
the evening of June the 22nd, 1990?
1074
00:58:56,955 --> 00:58:58,957
No, but I know a man who does.
1075
00:59:02,327 --> 00:59:04,128
Here you go.
Hey.
1076
00:59:04,129 --> 00:59:06,108
See anyone we know?
1077
00:59:11,902 --> 00:59:13,973
The Marmalade Sandwich.
The Marmalade Sandwich.
1078
00:59:20,511 --> 00:59:21,683
They look good.
1079
00:59:24,414 --> 00:59:26,792
It's the lights.
It's the drink.
1080
00:59:30,821 --> 00:59:32,357
Who cares what it is?
1081
00:59:34,158 --> 00:59:35,329
Steven?
1082
00:59:36,726 --> 00:59:37,727
Steven?
1083
00:59:38,895 --> 00:59:40,395
That was the night
they arrived.
1084
00:59:40,396 --> 00:59:42,631
Remember the shooting star?
That was them.
1085
00:59:42,632 --> 00:59:43,975
Nothing happened at first.
1086
00:59:44,100 --> 00:59:47,836
They were getting ready, burrowing
in underground, preparing.
1087
00:59:47,837 --> 00:59:50,972
Not long after you lot left,
people started to change.
1088
00:59:50,973 --> 00:59:52,884
Just one or two at first,
then more.
1089
00:59:53,009 --> 00:59:56,422
They replaced people of influence,
taking over the institutions,
1090
00:59:56,679 --> 00:59:59,888
remaking, remodeling,
refurbishing.
1091
01:00:00,016 --> 01:00:01,936
Doing everything they could
to make us join them.
1092
01:00:09,591 --> 01:00:13,562
I can't find Steven.
Where are the others?
1093
01:00:14,396 --> 01:00:15,602
They're blending in.
1094
01:00:18,767 --> 01:00:20,144
Oh, crumbs.
1095
01:00:20,368 --> 01:00:23,437
It's not like the replacements
were evil, far from it.
1096
01:00:23,438 --> 01:00:27,079
People got a lot friendlier.
That's how they do it,
1097
01:00:27,809 --> 01:00:30,644
It's not an invasion,
it's a merger.
1098
01:00:30,645 --> 01:00:33,626
They don't want to get rid of
us, not if they can help it.
1099
01:00:33,949 --> 01:00:36,716
They just want to make
us more like them.
1100
01:00:36,717 --> 01:00:38,618
Change the way we think.
1101
01:00:38,619 --> 01:00:40,787
Bring us into line
with all the others.
1102
01:00:40,788 --> 01:00:42,790
Become another
link in their chain.
1103
01:00:43,257 --> 01:00:45,635
Which is fine,
unless you say no.
1104
01:00:46,794 --> 01:00:48,494
That's when you get replaced.
1105
01:00:48,495 --> 01:00:50,797
Once they get your DNA,
they've got you.
1106
01:00:50,798 --> 01:00:51,965
How do they do that?
1107
01:00:51,966 --> 01:00:53,299
Any way they like.
1108
01:00:53,300 --> 01:00:59,148
Blood tests, the nit nurse, sweat,
kissing, saliva on the rim of a glass.
1109
01:00:59,773 --> 01:01:02,442
Why do you think
I drink with this crazy straw?
1110
01:01:02,443 --> 01:01:03,820
Not so crazy now, is it?
1111
01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:07,058
If you're not on their side,
they'll create a version that is.
1112
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:11,360
They can bring you back exactly the
same or even make you young again.
1113
01:01:11,851 --> 01:01:13,785
It looks like you, it
even has your memories,
1114
01:01:13,786 --> 01:01:16,321
but really it's just a vessel
to spread their message.
1115
01:01:16,322 --> 01:01:20,692
Trust, love, respect, desire.
1116
01:01:20,693 --> 01:01:23,435
Replaced in the name
of progress.
1117
01:01:24,697 --> 01:01:27,075
So, what happens to the
people who get replaced?
1118
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:30,269
The empties? Don't ask
me what happens to them.
1119
01:01:30,270 --> 01:01:31,637
Why, what happens
to the empties?
1120
01:01:31,638 --> 01:01:33,338
I told you not to ask me that!
1121
01:01:33,339 --> 01:01:35,615
Go! Get out,
before it's too late!
1122
01:01:39,711 --> 01:01:41,713
Basil?
I said go!
1123
01:01:45,751 --> 01:01:47,196
This just can't be good.
1124
01:01:47,519 --> 01:01:50,432
Sam, who was the boy that you
liked in sixth form? Adrian?
1125
01:01:51,256 --> 01:01:53,736
Adrian Keane. Why?
1126
01:01:54,359 --> 01:01:55,565
He's over there.
1127
01:02:04,603 --> 01:02:07,242
Hey, Sam.
How's life?
1128
01:02:11,609 --> 01:02:13,710
Sam, we have to get out of here!
We have to get out of here!
1129
01:02:13,711 --> 01:02:15,884
Where are the others?
They're blending in.
1130
01:02:17,682 --> 01:02:19,320
Oh, fuck!
1131
01:02:21,719 --> 01:02:23,562
Gary! No, just one more song.
1132
01:02:23,954 --> 01:02:25,955
Gary, she's a blank!
1133
01:02:25,956 --> 01:02:27,390
Don't be so judgmental.
1134
01:02:27,391 --> 01:02:28,392
Oh, for fuck...
1135
01:02:30,761 --> 01:02:31,762
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
1136
01:02:31,962 --> 01:02:33,373
Still got it.
Enough's enough.
1137
01:02:33,631 --> 01:02:34,764
Let's go.
1138
01:02:34,765 --> 01:02:37,041
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
Hold up.
1139
01:02:37,368 --> 01:02:38,471
Where are you all going?
1140
01:02:38,601 --> 01:02:40,669
We're leaving.
Really? What happened?
1141
01:02:40,670 --> 01:02:42,604
Adrian Keane was in that bar.
Prick.
1142
01:02:42,605 --> 01:02:44,106
I thought you liked
Adrian Keane.
1143
01:02:44,107 --> 01:02:45,808
Adrian Keane is dead.
Oh, God.
1144
01:02:45,809 --> 01:02:48,877
Adrian Keane died in a motorbike
accident in Italy eight years ago.
1145
01:02:48,878 --> 01:02:50,746
Did he? They must have
had his DNA on file.
1146
01:02:50,747 --> 01:02:52,090
That's how they were
able to replicate him.
1147
01:02:52,282 --> 01:02:54,402
They know how to get to us, man.
They know everything.
1148
01:02:54,551 --> 01:02:57,119
They didn't know Adrian was dead.
They knew enough to tempt us.
1149
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:59,655
They knew these three would fall for
a bunch of girls in school uniform.
1150
01:02:59,656 --> 01:03:03,158
Hey, who wouldn't? Am I right?
Fuck, yeah.
1151
01:03:03,159 --> 01:03:04,293
We've gotta get out of town,
1152
01:03:04,294 --> 01:03:05,705
we've gotta get beyond it
before it's too late.
1153
01:03:05,962 --> 01:03:07,730
- Where are you getting all this from?
- Basil.
1154
01:03:07,731 --> 01:03:11,032
Mad Basil? He of the Bermuda
Rhombus and the Aqua Nazis?
1155
01:03:11,033 --> 01:03:13,267
Another good name
for the band, Steve.
1156
01:03:13,268 --> 01:03:15,103
You're putting our lives in
the hands of a crazy old man?
1157
01:03:15,104 --> 01:03:16,674
He's not crazy!
No, maybe he's not.
1158
01:03:16,839 --> 01:03:18,773
Or maybe he's a blank trying to
lure us to the edge of town,
1159
01:03:18,774 --> 01:03:21,275
onto those dark country roads
where they can deal with us.
1160
01:03:21,276 --> 01:03:24,645
Yeah, we could end up dead in a field.
I hate fields.
1161
01:03:24,646 --> 01:03:26,922
Yes. My thoughts precisely.
1162
01:03:27,483 --> 01:03:29,484
Steven's right.
We should go.
1163
01:03:29,485 --> 01:03:30,885
No, we're going to The Beehive.
1164
01:03:30,886 --> 01:03:32,388
Gary's plan is still
the best we have.
1165
01:03:33,288 --> 01:03:34,266
Wait a minute.
1166
01:03:36,759 --> 01:03:39,796
The 1990-model Oliver was out of
commission by this point in the evening.
1167
01:03:41,229 --> 01:03:42,230
What are you saying?
1168
01:03:44,165 --> 01:03:46,366
I like the new you.
Huh.
1169
01:03:46,367 --> 01:03:47,345
Come on.
1170
01:03:48,870 --> 01:03:50,504
This is a mistake, isn't it?
1171
01:03:50,505 --> 01:03:51,826
Hold up!
Just stick with me.
1172
01:03:52,473 --> 01:03:53,611
Andy, come on!
1173
01:03:55,543 --> 01:03:58,311
Here we go. Pub number nine.
1174
01:03:58,312 --> 01:03:59,346
Fuck yes!
1175
01:03:59,347 --> 01:04:01,827
That's the spirit, Pete!
Spirits! We should do chasers.
1176
01:04:01,949 --> 01:04:03,316
Who is this guy?
1177
01:04:03,317 --> 01:04:06,764
Come on. Andy!
It can't start without you.
1178
01:04:09,423 --> 01:04:10,424
You what?
1179
01:04:10,924 --> 01:04:12,995
We can't start without you.
1180
01:04:17,531 --> 01:04:19,909
Now then.
Whose round is it?
1181
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:21,508
It's mine.
1182
01:04:23,170 --> 01:04:24,979
Mr. Shepherd!
Is it Mr. Shepherd?
1183
01:04:25,272 --> 01:04:29,345
Why don't you kids join me? You
look like you could do with a drink.
1184
01:04:30,877 --> 01:04:35,883
Now, let's have a little chat
about your future, shall we, hmm?
1185
01:04:36,116 --> 01:04:39,358
Uh, Mr. Shepherd?
Please, call me Guy.
1186
01:04:40,686 --> 01:04:41,664
All right.
1187
01:04:43,355 --> 01:04:44,356
Guy...
1188
01:04:45,357 --> 01:04:46,768
Look at you.
1189
01:04:49,428 --> 01:04:50,498
Are you a robot?
1190
01:04:51,197 --> 01:04:53,677
Does anyone know
what robot means?
1191
01:04:53,833 --> 01:04:55,005
Yeah. I do!
Yes, Gary.
1192
01:04:55,434 --> 01:04:57,001
It means "slave."
1193
01:04:57,002 --> 01:04:58,982
Oh, very good, Gary.
1194
01:04:59,472 --> 01:05:01,005
Are you a robot, sir?
1195
01:05:01,006 --> 01:05:03,919
No, Peter, of course
I'm not a robot.
1196
01:05:04,043 --> 01:05:05,021
Sir?
Yes, Steven.
1197
01:05:05,144 --> 01:05:06,544
But you're on their
side, though?
1198
01:05:06,545 --> 01:05:09,287
This is not about
sides, Steven.
1199
01:05:09,448 --> 01:05:11,586
It's not about shirts
versus skins.
1200
01:05:11,716 --> 01:05:15,357
It's about working
together as one team.
1201
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:19,058
I know it may seem a bit weird
and a little bit scary,
1202
01:05:19,724 --> 01:05:21,863
but please believe me,
it's quite the opposite,
1203
01:05:21,993 --> 01:05:23,627
They're here to help.
1204
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:27,075
To straighten us out. To
prepare us for the big league.
1205
01:05:27,432 --> 01:05:30,743
They've seen something
in us, a potential.
1206
01:05:30,869 --> 01:05:33,406
There's a vast community
of worlds up there,
1207
01:05:33,571 --> 01:05:37,781
living together, peacefully,
cooperatively.
1208
01:05:38,276 --> 01:05:41,279
And guess what? They want
us along for the ride.
1209
01:05:43,146 --> 01:05:45,319
Pretty cool, eh, gang?
1210
01:05:45,449 --> 01:05:48,020
So,
they're not here to harm us?
1211
01:05:48,418 --> 01:05:52,588
Far from it, O-Man.
No, they're here to help.
1212
01:05:52,589 --> 01:05:55,458
I'm not saying they're
afraid to get tough.
1213
01:05:55,459 --> 01:05:58,201
I certainly had to get
tough with you in my day.
1214
01:05:58,595 --> 01:06:01,735
And what one amongst you
wouldn't thank me for it? Hmm?
1215
01:06:01,965 --> 01:06:05,301
In some respects,
they're a lot like teachers.
1216
01:06:05,302 --> 01:06:09,672
Stern, yes.
A little frightening.
1217
01:06:09,673 --> 01:06:11,174
But it's all for
our betterment.
1218
01:06:12,108 --> 01:06:18,059
So, what do you say we all go somewhere
and talk about this properly?
1219
01:06:18,314 --> 01:06:19,514
That wasn't properly?
1220
01:06:19,515 --> 01:06:23,156
Well, I think it's pretty clear, guys, what
Mr. Shepherd is trying to say is that...
1221
01:06:25,788 --> 01:06:28,098
Andy! What the fuck?
1222
01:06:28,357 --> 01:06:30,803
Yes, Andy. What the fuck?
1223
01:06:35,464 --> 01:06:39,469
Humans, you leave
us no recourse.
1224
01:06:39,702 --> 01:06:42,682
If you will not
join us willingly,
1225
01:06:43,104 --> 01:06:47,141
we will be forced to use
other means of persuasion.
1226
01:06:47,142 --> 01:06:48,780
Now, please...
1227
01:06:56,151 --> 01:06:58,028
I fucking hate this town!
1228
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:10,000
1229
01:07:10,001 --> 01:07:20,001
1230
01:07:20,002 --> 01:07:27,002
1231
01:07:38,659 --> 01:07:39,865
Oh, oh!
1232
01:07:47,433 --> 01:07:49,310
Oh, crumbs, you're heavy.
Sorry.
1233
01:08:13,925 --> 01:08:15,233
Motherfucker!
1234
01:08:34,980 --> 01:08:36,653
Andy!
1235
01:08:36,882 --> 01:08:38,225
Twist the melon, man!
1236
01:08:41,019 --> 01:08:42,430
Yeah!
1237
01:08:44,522 --> 01:08:48,265
Sam, this is no way
for a family to behave.
1238
01:08:57,034 --> 01:08:59,480
Sam, I'm disappointed in you.
1239
01:09:05,910 --> 01:09:07,912
O-Man!
1240
01:09:22,625 --> 01:09:23,626
Okay, Andy.
1241
01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:25,301
Break it up.
1242
01:09:26,996 --> 01:09:28,634
It doesn't have
to be like this.
1243
01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:35,875
It could be so much simpler,
so completely painless.
1244
01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:38,907
If only you'd see the light.
1245
01:09:38,908 --> 01:09:40,142
Yes.
1246
01:09:40,143 --> 01:09:43,749
See, it's not about conflict,
1247
01:09:45,714 --> 01:09:47,515
it's about togetherness.
1248
01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:50,622
Yes. Let's try this
again, shall we?
1249
01:09:51,220 --> 01:09:52,221
How about another round?
1250
01:09:52,788 --> 01:09:56,668
Nah, we're done here.
1251
01:09:57,459 --> 01:10:01,095
Yes, Gary, that appears to be the case.
1252
01:10:01,096 --> 01:10:02,507
The Smokehouse!
1253
01:10:02,998 --> 01:10:04,204
What?
Just do it!
1254
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:06,178
Come on!
1255
01:10:07,102 --> 01:10:08,103
This way!
1256
01:10:18,079 --> 01:10:20,981
Humans,
this is your final warning.
1257
01:10:20,982 --> 01:10:23,258
Failure to comply
will result in your...
1258
01:10:25,019 --> 01:10:28,489
Humans, obey now,
or face the consequences.
1259
01:10:31,859 --> 01:10:32,860
Let's go!
1260
01:10:41,969 --> 01:10:43,107
Shit.
1261
01:10:43,871 --> 01:10:45,076
Oh, look, there's my car!
1262
01:10:47,908 --> 01:10:49,148
Let's climb down the drainpipe.
1263
01:10:50,310 --> 01:10:51,880
I've got a better idea.
1264
01:10:55,348 --> 01:10:56,827
Climb down the drainpipe.
1265
01:11:00,654 --> 01:11:01,854
Okay, just go.
1266
01:11:01,855 --> 01:11:02,888
Wait. What about the others?
1267
01:11:02,889 --> 01:11:04,456
Leave 'em with me, okay?
I got this.
1268
01:11:04,457 --> 01:11:06,368
Are you sure? Yeah, I
always land on my feet.
1269
01:11:06,893 --> 01:11:08,214
I don't know
if that's true, Gary.
1270
01:11:08,728 --> 01:11:09,729
Just go.
1271
01:11:10,297 --> 01:11:12,098
Will you find out what
happened to my brother?
1272
01:11:12,265 --> 01:11:15,768
Yeah, of course, of course, and
I'll look after Stevie for you, eh?
1273
01:11:16,435 --> 01:11:19,109
He's a good guy.
He's better than me.
1274
01:11:19,839 --> 01:11:23,377
Gary, you're not a bad person, but
you're not boyfriend material.
1275
01:11:24,343 --> 01:11:27,145
The whole "free spirit quick one
in the disabled toilets" thing
1276
01:11:27,146 --> 01:11:30,923
is kinda cool when you're 17,
but not when you're facing 40.
1277
01:11:31,951 --> 01:11:35,398
There comes a time when you have
to go forwards and not backwards.
1278
01:11:36,422 --> 01:11:39,422
Maybe if I hadn't left you behind that
night, things would all be different.
1279
01:11:40,259 --> 01:11:41,863
It's not all about
that night, Gary.
1280
01:11:42,828 --> 01:11:43,829
Isn't it?
1281
01:11:44,463 --> 01:11:45,736
It doesn't have to be.
1282
01:11:48,066 --> 01:11:50,026
We'll always have the
disabled's, though, won't we?
1283
01:11:50,935 --> 01:11:53,506
Yeah. Yeah, we'll always
have the disabled's.
1284
01:12:15,659 --> 01:12:16,660
Oh, no.
1285
01:12:28,872 --> 01:12:30,317
Where's Sam?
1286
01:12:30,574 --> 01:12:31,780
I put her in her car.
1287
01:12:31,942 --> 01:12:32,977
You did what?
1288
01:12:33,110 --> 01:12:35,056
I put her in her car.
I just told her to leave.
1289
01:12:35,178 --> 01:12:37,980
You just sent away the only one
of us sober enough to drive?
1290
01:12:37,981 --> 01:12:40,316
Yeah. You just couldn't
stand the fact
1291
01:12:40,317 --> 01:12:41,784
that she might
prefer me to you.
1292
01:12:41,785 --> 01:12:43,458
That's not true.
It is true, Gary!
1293
01:12:43,787 --> 01:12:45,494
I was getting somewhere.
We held hands.
1294
01:12:45,756 --> 01:12:48,323
I was just trying to help! You were
trying to help yourself, more like!
1295
01:12:48,324 --> 01:12:51,293
Jesus, I do something right for a
change and you fuckers get on my case.
1296
01:12:51,294 --> 01:12:54,605
Wow, that's the first time I've
ever heard you admit being wrong.
1297
01:12:54,730 --> 01:12:56,464
I said I did something right!
1298
01:12:56,465 --> 01:12:57,732
Yeah, "for a change".
1299
01:12:57,733 --> 01:12:59,935
So? Meaning the rest
of the time you're wrong.
1300
01:12:59,936 --> 01:13:01,603
Not necessarily.
1301
01:13:01,604 --> 01:13:04,940
Look, I just thought it was best
to keep her out of harm's way.
1302
01:13:04,941 --> 01:13:07,309
And what about us, Gary?
Aren't we in harm's way?
1303
01:13:07,310 --> 01:13:10,011
We're all right, Pete. Come on,
we're The Five Musketeers.
1304
01:13:10,012 --> 01:13:12,083
No, we're the Four Musketeers.
1305
01:13:14,250 --> 01:13:17,696
Wait, how do we know
you put her in the car?
1306
01:13:18,453 --> 01:13:20,020
How do we know you're you?
1307
01:13:20,021 --> 01:13:21,221
Of course I'm me!
1308
01:13:21,222 --> 01:13:24,533
Well, who the fuck are you, Gary?
I'm Gary King.
1309
01:13:25,060 --> 01:13:27,661
There's only one Gary King. How
do I know you guys are you?
1310
01:13:27,662 --> 01:13:29,073
We've been together
the whole time.
1311
01:13:29,297 --> 01:13:32,566
You might all not be you. How did
you know O-Man wasn't O-Man?
1312
01:13:32,567 --> 01:13:34,568
Because his birthmark was back.
1313
01:13:34,569 --> 01:13:36,904
What does that prove?
Because of what Basil said.
1314
01:13:36,905 --> 01:13:38,539
They make a copy from your DNA.
1315
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:39,907
That's why he had
his birthmark.
1316
01:13:39,908 --> 01:13:41,375
He was new, like a baby.
1317
01:13:41,376 --> 01:13:43,344
Like a man-baby.
Like a "maybe".
1318
01:13:43,345 --> 01:13:45,586
Oliver with none of the shit that
had happened to the real Oliver.
1319
01:13:45,747 --> 01:13:47,780
The laser surgery!
1320
01:13:47,781 --> 01:13:49,226
So the blanks really
are just blank?
1321
01:13:49,650 --> 01:13:52,597
No wear and tear, no scars.
1322
01:13:52,953 --> 01:13:55,488
Steven, in 1987 we were playing
cricket and I accidentally pushed you
1323
01:13:55,489 --> 01:13:57,690
onto a broken bottle that
nearly went up your ass.
1324
01:13:57,691 --> 01:13:58,965
So?
Show us your bum.
1325
01:14:04,898 --> 01:14:06,432
Very nice.
Thank you.
1326
01:14:06,433 --> 01:14:09,102
Pete, you got that 50cc
Suzuki in 1988,
1327
01:14:09,103 --> 01:14:11,264
and you let me have a go on it
and I ran over your leg.
1328
01:14:13,374 --> 01:14:14,640
What the fuck?
1329
01:14:14,641 --> 01:14:16,780
Oh, wait, it's the other one.
1330
01:14:19,312 --> 01:14:22,486
Andy, in 1986 we re-enacted
the Knife Game from Aliens
1331
01:14:22,615 --> 01:14:24,049
and I stabbed you
in the middle finger.
1332
01:14:24,050 --> 01:14:27,753
How about December 1997,
when you OD'd
1333
01:14:27,754 --> 01:14:30,689
and I drove you to the hospital
four times over the limit
1334
01:14:30,690 --> 01:14:34,693
and I ended up rolling the car and
almost severing my femoral artery,
1335
01:14:34,694 --> 01:14:37,496
at which point you made
a miraculous fucking recovery
1336
01:14:37,497 --> 01:14:40,766
and ran off into the night,
leaving me to get arrested
1337
01:14:40,767 --> 01:14:42,804
after 12 hours of
life-saving surgery?
1338
01:14:43,403 --> 01:14:44,609
Either one of those will do.
1339
01:14:47,206 --> 01:14:49,207
Thank you.
What about you?
1340
01:14:49,307 --> 01:14:50,650
That's easy.
1341
01:14:52,344 --> 01:14:55,012
That could have been drawn on.
Aren't all tattoos drawn on?
1342
01:14:55,013 --> 01:14:57,289
- Yeah.
- Show us your arm.
1343
01:14:57,883 --> 01:15:00,659
What?
Show us your arm.
1344
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:02,790
No, no.
1345
01:15:02,921 --> 01:15:07,725
You fell off stage at the fifth-year ball
fucking around and dislocated your elbow.
1346
01:15:07,726 --> 01:15:09,960
You've got a scar where they
put the metal plate in.
1347
01:15:09,961 --> 01:15:11,862
I don't have to show
you anything, all right?
1348
01:15:11,863 --> 01:15:14,231
I'm Gary King.
I know I'm me.
1349
01:15:14,232 --> 01:15:17,268
If I'm not me, then how do I know that
carved into that beam above your head
1350
01:15:17,269 --> 01:15:19,302
are the words "King Gary"?
1351
01:15:19,303 --> 01:15:20,503
But it doesn't say "King Gary".
1352
01:15:20,504 --> 01:15:22,984
Yes, it does.
Doesn't it?
1353
01:15:23,174 --> 01:15:25,975
No. It says "King Gay".
1354
01:15:25,976 --> 01:15:28,855
Some cunt scrubbed out the "R"!
1355
01:15:29,013 --> 01:15:30,447
- That was me.
- Why?
1356
01:15:30,448 --> 01:15:33,083
"King Gay".
That means fuck-all anyway.
1357
01:15:33,084 --> 01:15:35,223
Mr. Shepherd remembered
stuff, so did Oliver.
1358
01:15:35,486 --> 01:15:37,523
Selective memory, remember?
1359
01:15:39,623 --> 01:15:43,503
We don't see you for years and you
just pitch up and bring us here.
1360
01:15:44,061 --> 01:15:46,501
You better come out with some
hard evidence that you're human,
1361
01:15:47,131 --> 01:15:49,406
otherwise we're going to
find out for ourselves.
1362
01:15:50,767 --> 01:15:52,906
You want evidence?
1363
01:15:54,370 --> 01:15:55,542
There!
1364
01:16:00,310 --> 01:16:01,345
That proves I'm human!
1365
01:16:01,544 --> 01:16:02,611
It proves you're stupid.
1366
01:16:02,612 --> 01:16:03,946
Exactly!
1367
01:16:03,947 --> 01:16:05,426
Ow!
1368
01:16:05,548 --> 01:16:06,856
It's Gary.
It's Gary.
1369
01:16:09,919 --> 01:16:12,187
The whole town's
out looking for us.
1370
01:16:12,188 --> 01:16:15,226
That's a good thing. If everybody's
outside, that means nobody's inside.
1371
01:16:15,625 --> 01:16:17,696
Gary, wait! Fuck!
1372
01:16:20,629 --> 01:16:23,464
Gary, Gary! What do
you mean "nobody's inside"?
1373
01:16:23,465 --> 01:16:24,899
I mean we can still do this!
1374
01:16:24,900 --> 01:16:26,067
Do what exactly?
1375
01:16:26,068 --> 01:16:27,668
Oh, we're still on the crawl.
1376
01:16:30,572 --> 01:16:31,812
"King Gay".
1377
01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:33,280
Peter?
1378
01:16:34,343 --> 01:16:35,549
Peter.
1379
01:16:38,247 --> 01:16:41,694
I thought that was you.
Are you okay?
1380
01:16:42,184 --> 01:16:43,720
Am I what?
1381
01:16:44,253 --> 01:16:46,921
I know we didn't see
eye to eye at school.
1382
01:16:46,922 --> 01:16:49,129
Goodness knows I regret that.
1383
01:16:49,724 --> 01:16:51,458
I wanted to say something
back at the pub,
1384
01:16:51,459 --> 01:16:54,406
but I felt so terribly
ashamed by what I'd done.
1385
01:16:54,996 --> 01:16:58,705
Let me make it up to you, Peter.
Please.
1386
01:17:02,003 --> 01:17:04,171
Gary, you're out of your mind!
We've come too far.
1387
01:17:04,172 --> 01:17:05,238
It's fucking suicide.
1388
01:17:05,239 --> 01:17:09,075
I know. We are going to get to
The World's End if it kills us.
1389
01:17:09,076 --> 01:17:10,877
Where's Pete?
1390
01:17:10,878 --> 01:17:12,619
I hate you!
1391
01:17:12,813 --> 01:17:15,453
You fucking bastard!
I hate you!
1392
01:17:15,716 --> 01:17:18,885
Pete! Leave it! Why are
you doing this, Peter?
1393
01:17:18,886 --> 01:17:20,023
We don't want to hurt you.
1394
01:17:21,087 --> 01:17:22,760
Come on, mate!
It's not worth it!
1395
01:17:23,290 --> 01:17:25,099
Yes, it fucking is!
1396
01:17:26,660 --> 01:17:27,638
What's he doing?
1397
01:17:28,328 --> 01:17:29,466
Oh, shit.
1398
01:17:30,363 --> 01:17:31,364
Peter...
1399
01:17:33,466 --> 01:17:34,444
Peter...
1400
01:17:35,502 --> 01:17:39,780
I must say, I'm very
disappointed in you, Peter.
1401
01:17:44,077 --> 01:17:46,079
I'll punch their
fucking lights out.
1402
01:17:46,179 --> 01:17:47,859
Andy! No, no, no,
there's too many of them.
1403
01:17:55,487 --> 01:17:56,488
Pete.
1404
01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:09,201
Peter.
1405
01:18:09,301 --> 01:18:10,802
We gotta go.
Gary's right.
1406
01:18:10,803 --> 01:18:12,637
We gotta get to The King's Head.
Exactly.
1407
01:18:12,638 --> 01:18:13,776
What?
1408
01:18:15,007 --> 01:18:17,809
We are not going to The King's Head.
We're done.
1409
01:18:17,810 --> 01:18:19,777
We're going to do what we should
have done in the first place.
1410
01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:21,098
Get The Beast and
get out of here.
1411
01:18:21,379 --> 01:18:24,326
We are fucking leaving
and we are never coming back.
1412
01:18:25,450 --> 01:18:27,284
Now, you can either
come with us willingly
1413
01:18:27,285 --> 01:18:30,287
or I'm gonna knock you the fuck
out and carry you there myself.
1414
01:18:30,288 --> 01:18:32,356
You choose.
All right. All right.
1415
01:18:32,357 --> 01:18:36,093
Just think about what you're saying, you
know, because you have been drinking.
1416
01:18:36,094 --> 01:18:37,095
You fuck.
1417
01:18:54,778 --> 01:18:56,519
Shit, it's those fucking kids.
1418
01:18:56,680 --> 01:18:58,182
Not them again.
1419
01:19:03,020 --> 01:19:05,054
What the hell is that?
1420
01:19:05,055 --> 01:19:07,535
I don't know, but it's
definitely not modern art.
1421
01:19:17,367 --> 01:19:20,436
Oh, shit, we're trapped.
Where's The Beast?
1422
01:19:20,437 --> 01:19:24,873
Okay, all right. We're here, so
The Beast is in the next street.
1423
01:19:24,874 --> 01:19:26,041
How are we gonna get to it?
1424
01:19:26,042 --> 01:19:28,043
We'll have to go through.
Through where?
1425
01:19:28,044 --> 01:19:29,921
I don't fucking believe this.
1426
01:19:31,614 --> 01:19:32,922
Number 10.
1427
01:19:36,719 --> 01:19:37,720
Come on.
1428
01:19:41,023 --> 01:19:42,001
Let's go.
1429
01:19:42,558 --> 01:19:44,469
The backdoor, back door.
Let's go.
1430
01:19:45,394 --> 01:19:46,395
Here we go.
1431
01:19:49,565 --> 01:19:50,566
Okay, there it is.
1432
01:19:51,367 --> 01:19:52,367
Shit.
1433
01:19:54,235 --> 01:19:56,770
We wait for an opening, and
then we leg it to The Beast.
1434
01:19:56,771 --> 01:19:58,375
We need the keys.
1435
01:20:00,875 --> 01:20:02,081
Gary?
1436
01:20:04,412 --> 01:20:06,619
Gary, what are you doing?
1437
01:20:07,682 --> 01:20:09,416
Just a little toast.
1438
01:20:09,417 --> 01:20:12,419
Gary, put the pint down, yeah?
1439
01:20:12,420 --> 01:20:15,458
To Oliver, Pete.
1440
01:20:16,658 --> 01:20:17,636
And to us.
1441
01:20:18,393 --> 01:20:20,430
You know, 'cause
10 pubs isn't bad,
1442
01:20:21,162 --> 01:20:24,608
It's not, but
we're calling time.
1443
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:27,601
Okay.
1444
01:20:44,685 --> 01:20:45,959
So close.
1445
01:20:47,955 --> 01:20:48,990
Number 10.
1446
01:20:50,958 --> 01:20:51,959
Okay.
1447
01:20:52,659 --> 01:20:53,932
So close.
1448
01:20:59,332 --> 01:21:02,541
No, no, no, no,
no. Gary!
1449
01:21:04,036 --> 01:21:05,637
Gary! Gary!
1450
01:21:05,638 --> 01:21:08,050
Let him go.
He left you, man.
1451
01:21:08,775 --> 01:21:09,810
I can't.
1452
01:21:10,643 --> 01:21:11,644
Andy!
1453
01:21:22,555 --> 01:21:24,693
Gary! Gary!
1454
01:21:27,926 --> 01:21:30,668
Gary, come back! Come
back, you stupid bastard!
1455
01:21:54,718 --> 01:21:55,958
Gary!
1456
01:21:56,687 --> 01:21:58,997
Gary! Gary!
1457
01:22:22,746 --> 01:22:24,413
Andy, look out!
1458
01:22:41,297 --> 01:22:42,275
Come on!
1459
01:22:44,234 --> 01:22:45,235
What the...
1460
01:22:48,238 --> 01:22:50,514
Get in. Get in.
1461
01:22:51,374 --> 01:22:53,752
Gary, Andy, get the fuck in!
1462
01:22:54,110 --> 01:22:56,851
You heard him, Andy.
Get the fuck in.
1463
01:22:57,045 --> 01:22:58,854
We haven't much time!
1464
01:23:10,292 --> 01:23:12,863
Andy! Go, now!
Steven!
1465
01:23:13,929 --> 01:23:15,067
Go!
1466
01:23:35,049 --> 01:23:36,027
Andy.
1467
01:23:37,885 --> 01:23:39,489
I want you inside me.
1468
01:23:40,588 --> 01:23:41,589
Okay.
1469
01:23:47,028 --> 01:23:48,029
Cheers.
1470
01:24:08,448 --> 01:24:09,756
Ah!
1471
01:24:10,283 --> 01:24:12,729
You've had enough!
This is The World's End, man!
1472
01:24:12,852 --> 01:24:13,956
I know!
1473
01:24:14,721 --> 01:24:15,722
Stop this!
1474
01:24:17,424 --> 01:24:20,092
Leave me alone!
What do you care anyway?
1475
01:24:20,093 --> 01:24:23,729
Of course I fucking care. There's
a reason I'm angry at you!
1476
01:24:23,730 --> 01:24:25,763
I know why you're angry
at me, okay?
1477
01:24:25,764 --> 01:24:28,267
But it's not my fault
that you crashed that car.
1478
01:24:28,367 --> 01:24:31,348
That's not the point.
You let me down, man.
1479
01:24:31,670 --> 01:24:34,514
You were Gary King.
Gary fucking King.
1480
01:24:35,341 --> 01:24:39,210
I would have followed you to the end.
I fucking have!
1481
01:24:39,211 --> 01:24:41,384
Then stop following me!
1482
01:24:46,352 --> 01:24:49,128
No! It's just one more.
1483
01:24:49,822 --> 01:24:51,631
Let me have this.
1484
01:24:52,891 --> 01:24:54,692
You've got everything you want.
1485
01:24:54,693 --> 01:24:56,126
What are you talking about?
1486
01:24:56,127 --> 01:25:00,030
You've got your perfect job and your
perfect house and your perfect wife.
1487
01:25:00,031 --> 01:25:01,442
You think it's so perfect?
1488
01:25:04,235 --> 01:25:05,578
She left me, Gary.
1489
01:25:06,170 --> 01:25:08,438
She took the kids to her
mum's three weeks ago,
1490
01:25:08,439 --> 01:25:11,875
Said I'm not present enough.
I'm trying to win her back.
1491
01:25:11,876 --> 01:25:13,510
And God knows I am losing.
1492
01:25:13,511 --> 01:25:17,550
But I will continue to fight,
because that is how we survive.
1493
01:25:18,750 --> 01:25:22,819
For fuck's sake, Gary, I just punched
my wedding ring out of a robot's tummy.
1494
01:25:22,820 --> 01:25:25,022
Exactly! You fight for
what's important.
1495
01:25:25,023 --> 01:25:27,089
But what is so important
about The Golden Mile?
1496
01:25:27,090 --> 01:25:28,592
It's all I've got!
1497
01:25:29,359 --> 01:25:30,463
Gary.
1498
01:25:51,948 --> 01:25:53,120
You need help, Gary.
1499
01:25:53,383 --> 01:25:56,830
I got help.
You know what help was?
1500
01:25:57,953 --> 01:26:00,021
Help was a lot of people
sitting in a circle
1501
01:26:00,022 --> 01:26:01,968
talking about how fucking
awful things had got.
1502
01:26:02,591 --> 01:26:04,959
That is not my idea
of a good time.
1503
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:08,032
And this is? They told
me when to go to bed.
1504
01:26:09,265 --> 01:26:10,266
Me!
1505
01:26:11,067 --> 01:26:16,538
Gary, mate, how can you tell when
you're drunk if you're never sober?
1506
01:26:16,539 --> 01:26:18,450
I don't wanna be sober.
1507
01:26:19,875 --> 01:26:22,446
It never got better
than that night.
1508
01:26:23,045 --> 01:26:24,965
That was supposed to be
the beginning of my life.
1509
01:26:25,748 --> 01:26:28,626
All that promise
and fucking optimism.
1510
01:26:28,950 --> 01:26:32,397
That feeling like we could
take on the whole universe.
1511
01:26:33,088 --> 01:26:34,624
It was a big lie.
1512
01:26:36,424 --> 01:26:38,559
Nothing happened.
1513
01:26:38,560 --> 01:26:40,233
You don't need
to do this, Gary.
1514
01:26:43,431 --> 01:26:44,637
Yeah, I do.
1515
01:26:49,137 --> 01:26:50,673
Please, stand by.
1516
01:26:52,741 --> 01:26:54,277
Please, stand by.
1517
01:26:56,678 --> 01:26:58,315
Please, stand by.
1518
01:27:00,547 --> 01:27:02,026
Please, stand by.
1519
01:27:04,685 --> 01:27:05,663
Ah!
1520
01:27:48,995 --> 01:27:50,395
What are you doing?
1521
01:27:50,396 --> 01:27:52,069
No, don't go out there.
1522
01:27:52,198 --> 01:27:54,872
Gary King.
1523
01:27:56,002 --> 01:27:57,242
Yeah?
1524
01:28:00,071 --> 01:28:02,915
Gary King of the humans.
1525
01:28:03,275 --> 01:28:05,084
Yeah. What do you want?
1526
01:28:05,443 --> 01:28:08,979
We are here to enable
your full potential,
1527
01:28:08,980 --> 01:28:12,416
as we have with countless
worlds across the galaxy.
1528
01:28:12,417 --> 01:28:14,988
Oh, yeah?
How'd you manage that, then?
1529
01:28:15,120 --> 01:28:17,621
We appropriate a small
percentage of the population
1530
01:28:17,622 --> 01:28:20,933
at 2,000 or so penetration
points across the planet.
1531
01:28:21,226 --> 01:28:24,036
This ensures maximum coverage.
1532
01:28:24,596 --> 01:28:30,066
From there, we create simulants
to spread our ideologies
1533
01:28:30,067 --> 01:28:31,740
through peaceful
indoctrination.
1534
01:28:32,403 --> 01:28:36,010
Our objective is simple,
to ready the population
1535
01:28:36,140 --> 01:28:38,746
for participation in
our galactic community.
1536
01:28:39,476 --> 01:28:43,322
This method requires
a small sacrifice.
1537
01:28:43,480 --> 01:28:45,756
But the fewer
replacements we make,
1538
01:28:45,883 --> 01:28:48,184
the more successful
we consider our operation.
1539
01:28:48,185 --> 01:28:52,759
Of course, we welcome those
who volunteer themselves.
1540
01:28:53,023 --> 01:28:57,802
We can offer attractive incentives
for those who willingly combine.
1541
01:28:58,395 --> 01:29:01,671
The chance to be young again and
yet retain selected memories.
1542
01:29:02,832 --> 01:29:05,176
Isn't that something
you'd like?
1543
01:29:06,069 --> 01:29:08,447
Something you've always wanted?
1544
01:29:17,947 --> 01:29:21,190
Oh, my God! I'm so cute!
1545
01:29:22,151 --> 01:29:25,758
The beauty of our system
is that we all win.
1546
01:29:25,989 --> 01:29:28,196
There are no losers.
1547
01:29:31,460 --> 01:29:34,134
Allow me to carry
your legend forward.
1548
01:29:34,997 --> 01:29:38,740
Let the man you have become
be the boy you were.
1549
01:29:48,110 --> 01:29:49,987
Nah.
1550
01:29:51,079 --> 01:29:53,025
There's only one Gary King.
1551
01:29:55,017 --> 01:30:00,489
Then you have made your choice,
Gary King of the humans.
1552
01:30:00,855 --> 01:30:02,355
Yeah, I have.
1553
01:30:02,356 --> 01:30:07,360
Because frankly, who the fuck are you to
come down here and tell us what to do?
1554
01:30:07,361 --> 01:30:11,865
We are The Network and we are
here for your betterment.
1555
01:30:11,866 --> 01:30:13,333
In the last 23 years,
1556
01:30:13,334 --> 01:30:16,315
have you not marveled as information
technology has surged forward?
1557
01:30:16,470 --> 01:30:17,871
No.
1558
01:30:17,872 --> 01:30:22,142
Earth has grown smaller yet greater
as connectivity has grown.
1559
01:30:22,143 --> 01:30:25,745
This is our doing and it
is just the beginning.
1560
01:30:25,746 --> 01:30:28,249
Oh, fuck off, you big lamp.
1561
01:30:28,516 --> 01:30:31,724
You are children
and you require guidance.
1562
01:30:32,218 --> 01:30:33,856
There is no room
for imperfection.
1563
01:30:34,187 --> 01:30:37,862
Hey, Earth isn't perfect, all right?
And humans aren't perfect.
1564
01:30:38,024 --> 01:30:40,402
And guess what?
I ain't perfect.
1565
01:30:40,627 --> 01:30:43,862
And therein lies the necessity
for this intervention.
1566
01:30:43,863 --> 01:30:48,467
Must the galaxy be subjected to an
entire planet of people like you?
1567
01:30:48,468 --> 01:30:51,711
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1568
01:30:51,938 --> 01:30:54,139
Who put you in charge, huh?
1569
01:30:54,140 --> 01:30:56,450
Who are you to
criticize anyone?
1570
01:30:56,710 --> 01:30:58,917
Now, you might think
Gary's a bit of a cock,
1571
01:30:59,512 --> 01:31:02,822
and he is a bit of a cock,
but he's my cock.
1572
01:31:02,948 --> 01:31:04,382
Oh, thanks, man.
1573
01:31:04,383 --> 01:31:09,087
But he is a detriment to himself, just
as Earth is a detriment to the galaxy.
1574
01:31:09,088 --> 01:31:10,221
What did you say?
1575
01:31:10,222 --> 01:31:14,193
You act out the same cycles of
self-destruction again and again.
1576
01:31:14,293 --> 01:31:19,265
At this point your planet is the least
civilized in the entire galaxy.
1577
01:31:19,498 --> 01:31:22,274
What did he say? He's saying
we're a bunch of fuck-ups.
1578
01:31:22,534 --> 01:31:26,004
Hey, it's our basic human
right to be fuck-ups.
1579
01:31:26,105 --> 01:31:30,178
This civilization was founded on fuck-ups.
And you know what?
1580
01:31:30,309 --> 01:31:32,776
That makes me proud.
And me!
1581
01:31:32,777 --> 01:31:35,553
What is it they say?
"To err is..."
1582
01:31:36,114 --> 01:31:37,180
"To err is human."
1583
01:31:37,181 --> 01:31:40,719
"To err is human," so, uh...
1584
01:31:41,786 --> 01:31:44,654
We do not believe you
speak for all humanity.
1585
01:31:44,655 --> 01:31:47,791
You are but two men.
Two drunk men.
1586
01:31:47,792 --> 01:31:49,465
Three drunk men!
1587
01:31:50,628 --> 01:31:52,529
Stevie-baby!
1588
01:31:54,499 --> 01:31:57,946
Enough! Enough, humans!
1589
01:31:58,569 --> 01:32:03,472
Oh, you are in trouble now. It's
only the fucking Three Musketeers.
1590
01:32:03,473 --> 01:32:07,410
You are revolting against the
wisdom of countless solar systems.
1591
01:32:07,411 --> 01:32:08,856
Yeah, we are revolting!
1592
01:32:09,546 --> 01:32:12,652
You just said you're not here to conquer.
Can I just ask,
1593
01:32:12,816 --> 01:32:15,660
how many people did you have
to replace in Newton Haven?
1594
01:32:15,819 --> 01:32:17,492
That is irrelevant.
Is it?
1595
01:32:17,988 --> 01:32:21,902
Hands up.
Who here is human?
1596
01:32:23,393 --> 01:32:24,929
I'm human.
One!
1597
01:32:25,929 --> 01:32:27,704
And me.
That's two.
1598
01:32:28,131 --> 01:32:30,299
I am. But don't
know for how long.
1599
01:32:30,300 --> 01:32:31,867
Basil!
Shh...
1600
01:32:31,868 --> 01:32:35,670
So what's that? Three?
You had to replace an entire town?
1601
01:32:35,671 --> 01:32:36,971
Not the entire town.
1602
01:32:36,972 --> 01:32:40,341
Everybody apart from old
Nutbowl and the Shifty twins.
1603
01:32:40,342 --> 01:32:42,377
That's a good name for a band, Gary.
You should write that down.
1604
01:32:42,378 --> 01:32:44,446
I will. What about the
ones you replaced,
1605
01:32:44,447 --> 01:32:45,980
like Peter and Oliver?
1606
01:32:45,981 --> 01:32:48,349
Yeah, what happened
to the empties?
1607
01:32:48,350 --> 01:32:50,261
I told you not to ask that!
1608
01:32:50,419 --> 01:32:53,923
Redundant vessels are recycled, mulched
and converted into fertilizer,
1609
01:32:54,023 --> 01:32:57,492
whereupon they are returned to the
earth to promote verdancy and growth.
1610
01:32:57,493 --> 01:33:00,228
It is a highly efficient
means of organic renewal.
1611
01:33:00,229 --> 01:33:01,529
Mulched?
1612
01:33:01,530 --> 01:33:03,931
It is a relative few in light
of our long-term plan.
1613
01:33:03,932 --> 01:33:07,267
You mean a few hundred thousand
turned to fucking compost?
1614
01:33:07,268 --> 01:33:09,603
What about the other places?
The penetration points.
1615
01:33:10,738 --> 01:33:12,706
Are they as successful
as Newton Haven?
1616
01:33:12,707 --> 01:33:15,709
Because I'm guessing we're not
the only glitch in your system.
1617
01:33:15,710 --> 01:33:19,180
It is true, The Network has been
experiencing some difficulties.
1618
01:33:19,314 --> 01:33:22,783
I think you bit off more than
you can chew with Earth, mate.
1619
01:33:22,784 --> 01:33:25,060
Yeah, 'cause we are more
belligerent, more stubborn
1620
01:33:25,186 --> 01:33:27,488
and more idiotic
than you can possibly imagine,
1621
01:33:27,489 --> 01:33:29,456
and I am not just
talking about Gary.
1622
01:33:29,457 --> 01:33:31,125
Yeah, there's more
than one Gary King.
1623
01:33:31,126 --> 01:33:34,072
But you said...
I fucking know what I fucking said!
1624
01:33:34,228 --> 01:33:38,364
Your reliance on profanity is a measure of
your immaturity as a man and a species,
1625
01:33:38,365 --> 01:33:42,609
Why don't you just get in your rocket and
fuck off back to Legoland, you cunts!
1626
01:33:42,736 --> 01:33:46,539
Yeah! Stop fucking
Starbucking us, man! Yeah!
1627
01:33:46,540 --> 01:33:48,307
It is our duty
to challenge you.
1628
01:33:48,308 --> 01:33:51,144
Just leave us to our own devices,
you intergalactic arseholes.
1629
01:33:51,145 --> 01:33:52,745
You misunderstand.
Shut up!
1630
01:33:52,746 --> 01:33:54,614
We are trying...
Nobody's listening!
1631
01:33:54,615 --> 01:33:55,681
If you'd only...
1632
01:33:55,682 --> 01:34:00,893
Face it, we are the human race and
we don't like being told what to do.
1633
01:34:03,257 --> 01:34:05,327
Just what is it
that you want to do?
1634
01:34:06,259 --> 01:34:08,426
We want to be free!
Yeah.
1635
01:34:08,427 --> 01:34:10,529
We want to be free to
do what we want to do!
1636
01:34:10,530 --> 01:34:11,531
Yeah.
1637
01:34:11,631 --> 01:34:13,298
We want to get loaded.
Yeah.
1638
01:34:13,299 --> 01:34:15,267
And we want to
have a good time.
1639
01:34:15,268 --> 01:34:17,544
And that's what
we're going to do.
1640
01:34:18,571 --> 01:34:21,106
It is pointless
arguing with you.
1641
01:34:21,107 --> 01:34:24,145
You will be left to
your own devices.
1642
01:34:24,310 --> 01:34:25,880
Really?
1643
01:34:26,012 --> 01:34:27,082
Yeah.
1644
01:34:27,780 --> 01:34:28,781
Fuck it.
1645
01:34:38,456 --> 01:34:41,096
They fucked off.
1646
01:34:44,863 --> 01:34:49,312
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Up yours! Up yours! Up yours!
1647
01:34:49,601 --> 01:34:53,404
Yeah, we did it!
We won, we won!
1648
01:34:57,242 --> 01:34:59,153
Gary, let's Boo-Boo.
1649
01:35:02,948 --> 01:35:04,450
Yeah, it's shit here, innit?
1650
01:35:07,151 --> 01:35:09,461
Oi, up here!
1651
01:35:09,887 --> 01:35:10,888
Go!
1652
01:35:14,091 --> 01:35:15,092
Get up.
1653
01:35:15,593 --> 01:35:16,571
Come on!
1654
01:35:32,810 --> 01:35:34,448
Well done.
1655
01:35:34,645 --> 01:35:37,079
Thanks a bunch. Had to go
and spoil it, didn't you?
1656
01:35:37,080 --> 01:35:39,026
Yeah, happy now?
1657
01:35:39,849 --> 01:35:41,419
Basil, what do we do now?
1658
01:35:41,851 --> 01:35:43,585
Same as before.
1659
01:35:43,586 --> 01:35:45,395
Go!
1660
01:35:49,692 --> 01:35:50,864
Where's The Beast?
1661
01:35:51,961 --> 01:35:53,462
The Beast is dead, mate.
1662
01:35:53,463 --> 01:35:56,798
You know what... You know
what's really annoying?
1663
01:35:56,799 --> 01:35:57,866
What?
1664
01:35:57,867 --> 01:36:00,541
I promised myself I
wouldn't die in this town.
1665
01:36:02,372 --> 01:36:04,010
You're not gonna.
1666
01:36:05,174 --> 01:36:07,174
I think our luck just changed.
1667
01:36:07,175 --> 01:36:08,779
Whoo-hoo!
1668
01:36:10,545 --> 01:36:11,523
Oh!
1669
01:36:11,947 --> 01:36:13,014
Sorry!
1670
01:36:13,015 --> 01:36:15,017
Sam?
Yes.
1671
01:36:15,150 --> 01:36:16,450
You came back for us!
1672
01:36:16,451 --> 01:36:19,295
Yes, I did. Well, I got lost
on the ring road. But, yes.
1673
01:36:19,521 --> 01:36:23,257
Hi, Sam, could you give us
a lift to London, please?
1674
01:36:23,258 --> 01:36:25,126
Did you find out what
happened to my brother?
1675
01:36:25,127 --> 01:36:26,167
We'll tell you on the way.
1676
01:36:28,130 --> 01:36:30,531
Sorry about the mess. I've
been meaning 10 clear that up.
1677
01:36:30,532 --> 01:36:32,739
We forgive you. Let's go.
Which way?
1678
01:36:33,602 --> 01:36:34,603
Backwards!
1679
01:36:56,123 --> 01:36:57,466
Which way now?
1680
01:36:58,159 --> 01:36:59,399
Go straight over!
1681
01:37:17,777 --> 01:37:19,256
We can make it.
1682
01:37:21,681 --> 01:37:22,751
We're gonna make it.
1683
01:37:30,423 --> 01:37:31,766
We made it!
1684
01:38:32,316 --> 01:38:33,818
I'm sorry.
1685
01:38:37,487 --> 01:38:38,727
I know.
1686
01:38:40,690 --> 01:38:41,896
I know.
1687
01:38:42,325 --> 01:38:43,859
Everyone remembers
where they were
1688
01:38:43,860 --> 01:38:46,033
when the lights went out
on Planet Earth.
1689
01:38:46,163 --> 01:38:50,441
Me, Gary, Steven and Sam, we were
standing right by the switch.
1690
01:38:51,568 --> 01:38:54,412
I guess it was
a big night for everyone.
1691
01:38:55,038 --> 01:38:58,281
That morning gave a whole new
meaning to the word "hangover".
1692
01:38:59,676 --> 01:39:03,647
We decided to walk it off,
all the way back to London,
1693
01:39:04,514 --> 01:39:08,154
but the headache didn't end there.
It just went on and on.
1694
01:39:09,885 --> 01:39:11,523
Talk about the Big Smoke.
1695
01:39:13,222 --> 01:39:18,137
When The Network went down, it
triggered some kind of pulse,
1696
01:39:19,862 --> 01:39:21,773
wiped out all our technology
1697
01:39:23,732 --> 01:39:25,370
and sent us here,
1698
01:39:27,169 --> 01:39:29,206
back to the Dark Ages.
1699
01:39:30,406 --> 01:39:33,580
There were casualties, of course.
I knew a few of them.
1700
01:39:34,009 --> 01:39:37,855
Some guy from work, my
cousin Paul, Gary's mum.
1701
01:39:40,849 --> 01:39:43,250
Nobody really knew
how many we lost,
1702
01:39:43,251 --> 01:39:45,919
because we never heard from
the rest of the world again.
1703
01:39:45,920 --> 01:39:47,661
Everyone got cut off.
1704
01:39:48,623 --> 01:39:51,263
It isn't easy now,
but it is simpler.
1705
01:39:51,793 --> 01:39:54,261
I'm back with the wife,
which is something.
1706
01:39:54,262 --> 01:39:58,298
We decided our problems didn't seem
as bad in the grand scheme of things,
1707
01:39:58,299 --> 01:40:02,236
We all had to go organic in a
big way, but if I'm honest,
1708
01:40:02,237 --> 01:40:05,844
I'm hard pressed to recall any
processed foods I actually miss.
1709
01:40:09,776 --> 01:40:13,155
As for the blanks, well, a
funny thing happened there.
1710
01:40:14,081 --> 01:40:15,560
They woke up.
1711
01:40:15,916 --> 01:40:20,092
A week or so after The Network pulled out,
they just sort of rebooted by themselves,
1712
01:40:21,088 --> 01:40:22,761
tried to start afresh.
1713
01:40:24,358 --> 01:40:28,329
They seemed lost at first, children
cut off from their parents,
1714
01:40:28,996 --> 01:40:33,672
abandoned, forgotten, looking for guidance,
for someone to show them the way.
1715
01:40:34,835 --> 01:40:36,815
I felt a bit sorry for them,
to be honest.
1716
01:40:38,572 --> 01:40:40,405
The Network was right
about one thing.
1717
01:40:40,406 --> 01:40:42,784
We can be a bit uncivilized.
1718
01:40:43,442 --> 01:40:47,117
Maybe we would've been a bad
influence on the rest of the galaxy.
1719
01:40:47,980 --> 01:40:50,815
Oliver went back to
being an estate agent.
1720
01:40:50,816 --> 01:40:53,118
People still need a roof
over their heads,
1721
01:40:53,119 --> 01:40:55,497
and the old Ollie always
had a gift for the gab.
1722
01:40:55,655 --> 01:40:58,790
I guess the new one has, too.
1723
01:40:58,791 --> 01:41:00,498
He's doing all right.
1724
01:41:01,460 --> 01:41:04,031
I hear that the Peter found his
way home to Bishop's Gardens.
1725
01:41:04,363 --> 01:41:08,175
I suppose he picked up
where the other one left off.
1726
01:41:09,168 --> 01:41:11,477
I'm not sure his wife noticed.
1727
01:41:11,803 --> 01:41:16,081
Maybe she chose not to. He's a
pretty good dad by all accounts.
1728
01:41:18,243 --> 01:41:21,078
Steven and Sam got
together in the end.
1729
01:41:21,079 --> 01:41:23,047
Didn't see that coming.
1730
01:41:23,048 --> 01:41:25,316
They shacked up
just outside London.
1731
01:41:25,317 --> 01:41:27,593
It's a pretty nice shack, too.
1732
01:41:28,053 --> 01:41:31,159
As for Gary? I don't know
what happened to Gary.
1733
01:41:32,324 --> 01:41:35,305
We got separated and
I never saw him again.
1734
01:41:36,394 --> 01:41:39,864
Some say he went back to Newton Haven.
I don't know why.
1735
01:41:40,631 --> 01:41:42,633
I think his business
there was done.
1736
01:41:43,834 --> 01:41:46,678
It's funny, but I miss him.
1737
01:41:47,671 --> 01:41:51,517
I wonder if he misses me.
Misses the boys.
1738
01:41:58,215 --> 01:42:00,695
Wherever he is,
I hope he's happy.
1739
01:42:01,051 --> 01:42:03,086
That's all he ever wanted,
really.
1740
01:42:03,087 --> 01:42:04,725
To have a good time.
1741
01:42:05,322 --> 01:42:08,394
I just hope he found it
beyond the bottom of a glass.
1742
01:42:09,560 --> 01:42:14,269
Because real happiness, real friends,
those are things worth living for,
1743
01:42:15,999 --> 01:42:17,672
worth fighting for.
1744
01:42:29,879 --> 01:42:31,256
Blank bastards.
1745
01:42:34,717 --> 01:42:36,390
Fucking robots.
1746
01:42:45,494 --> 01:42:47,064
Five waters, please.
1747
01:42:49,398 --> 01:42:50,900
You can have one.
1748
01:42:51,767 --> 01:42:53,668
But I ain't serving this scum.
1749
01:42:53,669 --> 01:42:56,707
Well, I'm afraid it's all
for one and one for all.
1750
01:42:56,905 --> 01:42:59,273
You see, my young friends
and I are on an adventure.
1751
01:42:59,274 --> 01:43:02,943
A quest, if you will. And since we
find ourselves in need of refreshment,
1752
01:43:02,944 --> 01:43:05,652
you, sir, have the honor
of drawing first blood.
1753
01:43:06,815 --> 01:43:08,886
So, I'll ask you again,
1754
01:43:09,284 --> 01:43:10,763
for the last time,
1755
01:43:12,119 --> 01:43:15,191
five waters, please.
1756
01:43:23,597 --> 01:43:26,043
Who the hell
do you think you are?
1757
01:43:26,434 --> 01:43:30,280
Me? They call me The King.
1758
01:43:31,900 --> 01:43:38,500
Sync by: aHruaia
Corrections by: Flame_Fingers